A hare is walking through the forest when he runs into a bear."Hey, Hare! Let's prank the wolf!""Sure, how?""You go up to him and ask: 'Wolf, have you ever flown in a helicopter?' Leave the rest to me."The hare approaches the wolf and asks:"Wolf, have you ever flown in a helicopter?""No, why?"Suddenly the bear jumps out of the bushes, impales the wolf on his dick and starts spinning him around:"Flyyyyyying!!!!!"A month later, the bear meets the hare again."Hare, the wolf got out of the hospital. Shall we prank him again?""Sure, how?""You go ask him: 'Wolf, have you ever sailed on a boat?' The rest is on me."The hare walks up to the wolf:"Wolf, have you ever sailed on a boat?"The wolf, already scared, quickly answers:"No, I haven't sailed on any boat!"The bear bursts out of the bushes, impales the wolf on his dick again and says:"You prefer the helicopter, huh?"
A Chukcha went to the shaman to ask what kind of winter it would be.The shaman thought for a moment and said:"However, it will be cold. Go, Chukcha, start gathering firewood."The Chukcha left. Then the shaman thought about it and decided:"I should go to the geologist and find out for sure what the winter will be like."He comes to the geologist and asks:"Tell me, what will the winter be like?""Very cold," the geologist replies."Exactly!" says the shaman."See? Look over there — the Chukcha is already gathering firewood."
Müller walks into his office and sees Stirlitz rummaging through his safe full of secret documents.“What are you doing here, Stirlitz?” Müller asks.“I’m waiting for a tram,” Stirlitz replies.“Trams don’t run here.”“They don’t run anywhere — trams have no legs,” Stirlitz parried.Müller stepped out of the office to smoke and think over the situation. When he returned, Stirlitz was no longer there.“He must have left,” thought Müller.
In a concentration camp, an SS officer bursts into one barrack:— Any Moldovans here?!— No.He runs to the second barrack:— Any Moldovans?!— No, they were just taken to the gas chamber.He sprints to the gas chamber, where the door is already closing. He barely sticks his foot in to stop it.— Any Moldovans?!— Yes.— Can you tile a bathroom with ceramic tiles?!— No problem, 8 rubles per tile.The SS officer:— Fuck, that’s expensive. Let’s do it for 5 rubles.The Moldovans:— Remove your foot!
