>writing novel>have a scene where one of the protagonists (a fourteen-year-old boy) is seduced into bed and drugged by a femme fatale assassin character>no mention of genitals or anything, just talks about her unbuttoning his shirt and running her nails up and down his chest>chapter ends with him passing out as the assassin smiles down at him>show it to someone in my writing group>they get super mad and say it’s pedophilia, date rape, non-consensual sex, etc etc and that I’m “fetishizing” it>which I am, because something similar happened to me when I was a boy and it fucked up my preferences in women for life>she says that I can’t put this out under my real nameWhat the fuck. GRRM starts off his super popular fantasy book with his fetish, fourteen-year-old Daenerys getting raped up the butt by a Mongol warlord. Compared to that this is literally nothing.
>>25398061Simply ignore her? Though maybe your fetish is also a bit too obvious if it's not mean to be porn.
>>25398061> pedophilia, date rape, non-consensual sex, etc etcThe villain is engaged in... villainous acts? This is problematic in 2026?
>>25398061Some people get really triggered by stuff and find some post-hoc justification for why the triggering thing is "objectively bad". If your novel had rape/pedo themes, lots of dumb foids will be repulsed instinctively by it and then they'll yap about how problematic it is and yada yada. Its like when those YouTubers keep nitpicking everything about a movie when in reality the thing that really caused their dislike of the movie was overcasting of nogs but they can't be honest about it.
>>25398073I think I shot myself in the foot because this is the third seductive female character I've included.>>25398103Bummer. It isn't really meant to be rape themed. The boy is armed and I needed a way to subdue him and I thought fuck it, I’ll just have some sexy woman drug his ass
>>25398061>she sayswhy are you listening to women?
>>25398061Idk, she has a point; why is a 14yo getting raped essential to your plot?
>>25398183Let's be fair to OP, half the good books I've ever read feature some variation of pedophilia as a crucial plot point, It's almost a hallmark of good literature.
>>25398061publish it under a female pen name they'll call you a fucking genius
>>25398061If someone is so retarded that they think a bad thing happening in a book means the author is bad, you should not take advice from that person ever ever ever. Women have this retardation a lot more than men it seems. They're fictional characters. Just write what you want to write. Remember these are the same women that goon to romantasy slop where underage girls are raped by wolfmen or whatever. In general, if someone outs themselves as not understanding art or fiction on this fundamental of a level, you should never take their advice.
>>25398183Let's go a step further: is a plot really essential?Anon could trim his book quite a bit by removing plot and characters. Then we'll have>some day, thing happened>but another thing happened, solving the first thing>now all is well, the endThere. No trigger warning needed.I bet you'd like that, huh, faggot?
>>25398061Tommy P. has a graphic sex scene involving Tyrone and an 11 year old girl. Just write whatever the fuck you want.
>>25398183Because the boy is armed and dangerous and I needed a way to contain him. Basically he is The Thing, while also being a hormonal teenage boy.It is about as necessary to the plot as onions are to a cheeseburger. I could take them off. but I like onions.
>>25398183Why shouldn't it be essential to his plot?
>>25398061Can we see the passage? This sort of thing can be done well, but it's possible that you just did it poorly.
>>25398324I am an amateur fantasy writer so I probably did do it poorly. If I shared it you would probably make fun of me
>>25398344>listening to women>afraid of being anonymously judgedLost fucking cause, mate.
>>25398344Do it for shits and giggles, we aren't expecting you to be Tolkien, and we aren't going to be anymore mean to you than that writing group already is..
>>25398429>>25398365You know what, you couldn’t possibly be meaner than an IRL complaining I wrote pedophilia rape.This is like eight or nine chapters in, so a bit of context: >Assassin tries to kill a first-born son of a failing line of nobles>discovers the boy is some fucked up The Thing style amalgam, under a full moon he goes out into the city and has been killing/eating animals and people, and as such has a mind full of insect/animal instincts overriding his brain. As well as the thoughts and impulses of all the undesirables and cutpurses and criminals he’s been murdering and eating late at night>assassin girl can’t kill him, even with her magic weapon that’s existed since the ice age and is supposed to be able to slay even mammoths. Dude is practically the Thing, if The Thing was convinced he was a teenage human and not a Thing>right about at this point the main plot of the book kicks off (entire fantasy city is transported into a dark and foreign ocean with a moonless and starless sky, where the tide is slowly rising)>without the moon the kid comes back to his senses a bit. Shenanigans ensue, assassin decides to lie to this kid a bit and take him back to her employer (a different type of assassin, who you are introduced to here)
>>25398473It does read like smut, if that isn't your intent you should change it a bit. Outrage over this is overblown since nothing sexual actually happens, but lines like "I can be your youngest, if you know what I mean" is just straight up "shotacon" porn dialogue.
>>25398061Not sure if trolling, but did meet a gay guy who got banned from a writing group for writing about the time he got sodomized as a kid. I guess the representation was too real.
>>25398473pedophilia rape is a pretty good description of this ngl. I don't know if you left the part about him being drenched in his own semen from the OP to make yourself look better or if you are genuinely oblivious to how that comes off to normal people. take her advice and don't publish this under your real name, sounds like she was lowkey into it
>>25398061>>25398473you're fine. one question: do you want the boy to be passed out or do you want the scene to allude sexy time?passing out is lame because it takes away a character's ability to make choices and moves the plot forward with lazy writing.
>>25398642>him being drenched in his own semenShe's the one coating him with slime.
>>25398685my bad, drenched in her semen
>>25398692See? That's better already :-)
>join writing group>it's basically all women with one guy >for the first week feedback is very good>get to the chapter where niggers appear>I use the word niggers to describe niggers>after politely letting me finish they ask me why the character says a slur>"well they dont, I do that">remove from writing group
>>25398061it's just because it's not gender-flipped, if it was a homely girl and the assassin was a billionaire hunk who was also a vampire werewolf mega-rapist, she would find a way to read more
>>25398642Did you speedread, or does it genuinely read like he is being covered in semen?Maybe I should make the slime more akin to spiderwebs>>25398560Thanks, I'll consider changing some lines>>25398676The less relevant woman in the scene is another protagonist in the story. This allows the two characters to go separate ways. She goes off thinking the target is taken care of, and then in his next viewpoint chapter he breaks out and goes full The Thing, becoming completely inhuman for a while
>>25398794Of course he speedread, or at least he skipped the end of the second page because he stopped reading at "sticky.">Maybe I should make the slime more akin to spiderwebsI think it would be less gross and sexier, yeah.
>>25398061you should've told her that it's based on your own experience getting molested, and this is your way of processing it. then they'd be far more understanding.
>>25398061george rape rape martin had the goal of convincing you that historical materialism is meaningless with his question "what was aragorns tax policy" followed by his total absurdity of gays on thrones. You likely do not have a political ulterior motive to your pornography, so it will not be permitted
>>25399051>you should've told her that it's based on your own experience getting molested, and this is your way of processing it. then they'd be far more understanding.
>>25398061Foids are like that. They're the biggest consumers of rape porn, but they still feel the need to pretend like it's wrong in public. My advice to you: only take writing advice from people who critique prose and know what they're talking about. These SJW types have worthless opinions when it comes to art.
Cutting to black is pretty much the classiest way to handle a sex scene. Ignore retarded female writer opinions.
Shes not your target audience. Ignore her. Also use a pen name anyway
I mean I got kicked from a writing group for racism when I basically wrote about the time my uncle stole the family Nintendo for crack money, but just changed the names and location. Apparently I am black enough to be called nigger but not black enough for a white woman to tolerate me writing about my black uncle stealing my shit.Writing groups are for hypersensitive women. Are you a hypersensitive woman OP?If not then you don't need a writing group.
>>25399501Post hand
>>25399537Pay me first, lol.
>>25399297indeed, and it works well with women.
>>25399613Whore.
>>25399297The victim card is meant to be used on women though, it always works on them.
>>25399867>>25399992Women should be your victim, not the other way around.
>>25398061based ara-ara enjoyer I was also broken for life by a female predator haha
>>25399317>people who critique proseMost worthless, vapid advice possible
>>25399501Why can't women just be less sensitive?
>>25399501this. The only potential value of a writing group is using the dumbasses who go to such a thing as a reverse compass. If you have real talent you learn real quick that other "talented" peoples' input is dogshit. And when it comes to beta readers you'll always get 1000000x more useful feedback from people who don't fancy themselves as authors at all. OP, look into the way screenwriting was done during the time period when tv shows and movies were actually good. Even with a bunch of verifiably talented writers, they didn't actually all sit together in a room and hash out an episode together over boxes of Chinese food and coffee. That's only how retards envision the process to work because they can't imagine ever accomplishing anything creative by themselves. In reality each writer would go write the entire episode alone. Then a person called an "arbiter" would read every script individually and cobble together the best pieces from each. Collaborative writing is a meme. Tolkien famously ignored every piece of input he got from the Inklings and basically just showed up to dab on his inferior colleagues and drink beer.
>>25398124>this is the third seductive female character I've included.At that point you should just make female seductresses a thematic pillar of your story
>>25398473Well, he did proposition the woman. It's only really rape from a statutory point of view and even then it's more like they just drugged him to make him pass outThe language used is intensely erotic though so if that wasn't your intent you could change the wording
>>25398260She was 11??? I thought she was around 17 years old when reading.am i illiterate?
>>25403214Well, she was like 15-16 if you dig deep and look at the timeline, but Tyrone (and hence the reader) thinks she's younger.>He gets a glimpse of Margherita and her daughter, but there is a density of orgy-goers around them that keeps him at a distance. He knows he’s vulnerable, more than he should be, to pretty little girls, so he reckons it’s just as well, because that Bianca’s a knockout, all right: 11 or 12, dark and lovely, wearing a red chiffon gown, silk stockings and high-heeled slippers, her hair swept up elaborate and flawless and interwoven with a string of pearls to show pendant earrings of crystal twinkling from her tiny lobes… help, help. Why do these things have to keep coming down on him? He can see the obit now in Time magazine—Died, Rocketman, pushing 30, in the Zone, of lust.
Outrage like that is entirely performative. Herd animals engaging in herd mentality and reassuring one another that they're all not accepting of this or that social taboo. A writer should understand that much.
>>25398061>they get super mad and say it’s pedophilia, date rape, non-consensual sexAll of which happen in real life, just ignore the retard. If you're writing a book about people in 1800s America are you going to tone down the racist because "it's racist"?
>>25399501Yeah I agree.Use writing groups as a resource but the final say is yours, if you think something is necessary or you just like it then keep it in.
>>25398061No artist who became anything ever gave a fuck what other people thought about them or their art.This is why women today write the most lukewarm shit imaginable, they can't comprehend being shamed or put down for their work
