"Break the Matrix" editionPrevious: >>25425946/wg/ AUTHORS & FLASH FICTION: https://pastebin.com/ruwQj7xQRESOURCES & RECOMMENDATIONS: https://pastebin.com/nFxdiQvCPlease limit excerpts to one post.Give advice as much as you receive it to the best of your ability.Discuss the written works below for practice; contribute, and you shall receive.If you have not performed a cursory proofread, do not expect to be treated kindly. Edit your work for spelling and grammar before posting.Expect critique, not praise.Shitposters should be ignored and reported.>Beginner guides on writing:https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pHdzv1NfZRM [Embed]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=whPnobbck9s [Embed]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YAKcbvioxFk [Embed]>Intermediate guides on writing:https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/48654.Storyhttps://www.goodreads.com/book/show/3097766-borges-on-writinghttps://www.goodreads.com/book/show/23056.Image_Music_Texthttps://www.goodreads.com/book/show/19173266.Write.Publish.Repeat>Advanced guide on writing:Just do it.
>>25435806only 0.01% of writers get remembered for anything at all.still plenty of retards making money selling their garbage books, all you've got to do is be slightly better than them.
Is writing a waste of time?
>>25435871Maybe when you do it. It isn't a waste of time when I do it.
>>25435871long after (You) are gone and all the insta hoes you gave STDs to are dead, the books will remain.
What’s the trick to writing something that gets a fandom?
>>25435887If there was a reliable trick to it everyone would have a fandom.
>>25435887Shill and spam until people hear about you. Worked for The Dark Triad book.
>>25435807nice AI pic you fucking faggot
>>25435900>>25435905no crying in the casino
>>25435907you are a nigger fucking around in a "casino". I am interested in reversing the damage of writing being made a fucking joke
>>25435887sucking yourself off in a crowded Lowes
>>25435887Use pictures and animation. And video games too. And vtuber too. And softwares. And gifs. And chat stickers. And books. Japanese mixed-media approach has the right idea.
>>25435914How will you accomplish this?
>>25435932calling out goyslop is a start. learning the difference between art and consumer media is the next
>>25435960How will you convince people to care that you’re calling out goyslop?
>>25435984they already do
>>25435991So your plan is working? How long until writing is no longer a joke?
>>25436020when the industry and its financiers are crushed completely
How should I market a historical fiction retelling the origins of the Kievan Rus with a female MC?>Niche genre>Niche history >Niche main character
Started writing the rough outlines of the story entirely by what's spoken, it basically reads like a shitty play scriptis this gonna be a bad habit that'll bite me in the ass later on?
>>25436041Imagine if you get famous, and this becomes a meme writing routine everyone follows.
>>25436030>How should I market a historical fiction retelling the origins of the Kievan Rus with a female MC?Name her "Vladlena Vladimira Putana"Put this quote on the cover: "The Kievan Rus started to exist as a centralized state in 862 A.D. This is its origin story..."One way or another, you'll get your 15 minutes.
>>25436026And you calling out goyslop will accomplish that? How?
>Much and more>Little and less>Words are windBased or cringe?
>>25435925Good points
>>25435871That .webm is like reading Whitman's Leaves of Grass, but then for the Information Age.I'm not even sarcastic. It's like a 1.5h Mass in the Church of Post-Modern Brother-Bro's compressed into 1:30 minutes.
>>25435887Statistics. If you want to get a fandom, you must write x amount of letters until you get a fandom.Just set a goal, and write until you achieve set goal. Don't sweat the technique.
>>25435914Interested is one thing, heavily invested and literarily armed to the teeth against the unliterarators is another.Boast work.
>>25436479>Boast work.It’s great! The best ever.
>>25436243That will truly Ascend one day, I type unto Thee.
>>25436485*Verily, I type unto Thee...>>25436483Good! That makes me happy.
>>25436474When you achieve set goal, relax, celebrate, enjoy, then when you're done with that, you may, can, must, will, want to, should, set another goal for yourself. The goal could be anything, maybe something different if you want to try it, like making 10(0) fires in a firebowl, safely, to appease your Fire Nation overlords in Wintertime before they Attack, for example, whom, I, for one, welcome. Or having All Your Base Are Belong To Us.
>[Embed] [Embed]Sloppy work, OP. Also you forgot this >>25437019
Was depressed and smoking on my enclosed Eastern-European balcony and scribbled these lines:The magic of musicLost in the nightWhite-blindLike the dayIn late AugustSlowly autumningThe decay of the leafOn the shoeFrom the mud rainIn the scuff-scented guttersOf femursTobacco stains the towerIn the cityOf brown flowersThe pigeon sees himselfIn the mirrorOf our marrow
Idk how to get better at writing I can't tell when my writing is good or bad
>>25437089If you're a shit writer, it should smell like shit. You can familiarize yourself with this smell by hanging around black people for awhile, particularly in inter-city environments, or otherwise shoving your head up your ass.
>>25437101Is this what the op means with shit posting
finna boutta drop at midnight
>>25437144Is this another poorly converted screenplay or did you write an actual novel this time?
>>25437101This anon has lots of experience having his head up his ass
>>25437282is this another poorly thought out troll attempt or did you take the butt plug out this time to seriously consider it?
>>25437303A comeback as clever as expected
>>25437323take notes, Chicoyou might learn a little something
>>25437282looks like another screenplay
>>25437379>9 line paragraphThis literally never happens in a screenplay
Where do you go to find people to criticize your writing besides here?
>>25437386No buddy, it reads like a screenplay, not that it is one. Like thisone>Hip, sharply dressed industry types...los Angeles cityscape hovering in the distance It's a screenplay sentence telling the director, stage crew how to shoot and pan the scene. It doesn't read like a novel sentence which would be closer to something like>Blaring sounds of DJ Disney Stu blanketed the open dancefloor. John pried his foot from the sticky Concrete. He looked up and wondered how he managed to join this elite club inside Los Angeles. The second example has us follow a character and a small conflict, it still gives us a setting, but focuses more on the character. There's a difference
>>25437417Have you never read clipped noir prose before?>that sentence you wroteHoly shit buddy... yeah nobody will be taking your advice. LMAO. I think you need to take your meds.
>>25437411You mean like other threads or boards?I mean I get some imput from /tg/ since I mostly write fantasy and horror. As well as the worldbuilding thread, though most of the regulars of the worldbuilding thread are aggressively nitwitted.If you mean non-anonomouslyJust my mom, and she only gets my censored stuff or when I dabble with short children's stories.
>>25437417>The second example has us follow a character and a small conflict, it still gives us a setting, but focuses more on the character. There's a differenceyeah, but boy is the prose awful
>>25437433>he dabbles children, uncensored!
>>25437417It's written in 3rd person present tense, retard.
it's up
>>25435871This chinless faggot is in a very slow concrete punishment box now.
>>25436030Make this based psycho an anime girl.You're welcome to steal my idea.
>>25437379This is garbage. It's literally packed chock full of things that I tell people not to do.I would die of shame if I shilled my stuff this hard if it was at this level.
>>25435871Yes. You might as well be buying lottery tickets. You won't be published, self-publishing is a joke, and if you're just doing it as a hobby then you should quit and do something that at least fixes your house or makes you money. Unless you have industry connections, you /lit/erally have zero chances of anyone giving a damn.
>>25437366>someone critiques your work?>just say they had a buttplug up their asshole
>This preoccupation with greatness is a very common pathology among writers and artists in general. For many, it’s not enough for their work to exist; it must also be great. What might’ve started as a passion for creation quickly devolves into a compulsion akin to that of the lottery ticket scratcher in the troubled psyches of those afflicted with such useless ambitions. Each new work, rather than a sacred expression of a rich inner life, becomes a trifling chance to make it big. This madness appears to be a maladaptation of the innate human aspiration to immortality. In his epic, Gilgamesh was one of the earliest to aspire to eternal life after experiencing the death of his friend. Being given the impossible challenge of conquering sleep, he also became one of the earliest to give up and substitute eternity for a measly written work: fool’s gold immortality. >Gilgamesh lies dead in his grave alongside the forgotten leagues. Continued consumption of his work hasn’t and won’t change that.
>>25437444Got a giggle from me.
>>25435807>much and more>little and less>words are windBased or cringe?
I just wrote my first 150 words and it didn't feel too stupid :)Too bad it took like 20 minutes
>>25437515>>25435871I don't jog because I want to be a sponsored athlete. I don't play counter strike because I want to win the Valve Major. If you write solely to become a famous artist then you're definitely doing it wrong
>>25437588I write because I want someone to enjoy what I write and think it's cool.It doesn't matter if I don't get rich or famous, it only matters if someone read my stuff and liked it.
>>25437611I could be that person …
>>25437441>>25437419No shit, I'm phone posting and made it up on the fly.
>>25437445Don't do this.
>It's my country's national day and my neighbors are celebrating outside singing and dancing and watching the fireworks while I'm stuck in my room writing softcore incest smut
>>25437753Swiss or Beninian?>writing softcorepussyHBO made hardcore incest smut primetime TV years ago
>>25437379Nice. You do a great job instilling a vivid picture inside my head. I can fully imagine the Los Angeles night club scene with corrupt horny entertainment industry developers.
81,000 words in. Feeling good. Might have a sweet treat, or perhaps a McDonald's
>>25437548>shitty 3rd world troll attempt>"criticism"
>>25437482Kek nobody gives a shit what you "tell people not to do" reddit faggot. Tell yourself not to suck so much cock.
>>25437759thanks fren, but they are definitely not in a night club.
funny or no?
>>25437927>nighttimenight-time>indulgencesnot funny because it's a punchline looking for a setup>Membereither 'member or Remember>Deutschlandagain, a punchline looking for a setup>vaudevillainthe word doesn't suit the rest of the conversation>lightning-boltnot a common simile for an eyebrow and not apt enough to be immediately apparent>I perjuredover-egging the pudding needlessly, because it's sarcasm that would have been obvious to the reader>I heard that pickup line beforeis it? doesn't seem soI can see what you were trying for, but this is too many strikeouts.
>>25437855Getting uppity about your shit writing won't make it any less shit.
>>25437611Same.Good stories transport those who read/listen to them a more interesting and meaningful place. The trip enriches the life of the one who goes on it. In that small way good stories make the world a better place.I want to do that for other people, the same way stories have enriched my life.It's not about money (though money is nice), it's about the magic of a good story well told.
i will spiritually defend all anons against the grumps and trolls in these threads from henceforth. feel me inside you frens. feel my strong arms protecting you.
>>25438020But criticisms is treated as trolling even when the critic is honestly telling the writing itself is shit
>>25438028shut up ESL faggot. critic these NUTS.
>>25438076i have defended against your words, they have no effect.
>>25437999And here you are spending your day commenting on it. (You) would be a hell of a lot more useful as fertilizer.
>>25438084I posted about it 9 hours ago you deranged retard.You're a dalit, aren't you?
>>25438087ah, now it makes sense. you're brown. topkek.
>>25438116>get called out>u-ur brownYou shit on a street.
>>25438125>use hindi term to try and disparage a literal aryan ubermenschknow your place, stinky peasant.
>>25438136>saar I'm aryanNo, you're the indo- leftover of the aryan invasion, dalit. I can identify you by your lack of shame and delusional gloating.
holy shit this thread sure turned brown lmao
>>25438136looks like eric idle playing a poofter
How's my cover?
>>25438177Kino as fuck desu. But there's something MSPaint-y about the crosses. Don't get rid of them, but they need something
>>25438177Looks like YA. Hopefully it is.
>>25438177Rus? This isn't some vatnik slop is it?
>>25436030I've seen historical fiction of every era and every country, and it's pretty popular, going by the size of the sections I see in bookstores. I don't think that'll be a problem.
>>25437762Congrats! I'm gonna drink a coconut later.
>>25438177I hate covers/posters that are just someone's face
>>25438177get rid of the crosses. If you have to use a cross, lean harder into it. Use one and make it fancier.
>>25438177And use a simpler font for "based on a true story"
>>25437588You have a loser mindset.
>>25437780>someone critiques your work?>just say they're a troll from the third world
>>25438177Terrible and there's too much shit going on. Do something like>>25437462Simple, clean and easily identifiable
>>25438177
>>25436030>>25437478>>25438177Wait, this is Victoria isn't it?
>>25438177You've posted drafts of this cover before. I was never a fan of the random stock photo of a half-face, but you seem married to that part as the base of the cover. But some of those old covers could've been adequate; this one just looks amateurish. You've overcooked it at this point i-m-o. I say go back to the drawing board.Psst: I'm loving The Beautiful Kingdom so far! I've been extremely busy, so it's been slow, but I am reading it.>>25438270Boor's cover has a little too little going on but it's definitely better than that Wing's.
Has anyone used claude for feedback?
>>25438337every single day
>>25438217Reminds me of that story where a guy took a small sip from one of these and died hours later because it was rotten.
>>25438351opinions? I've been using chatgpt because it was just in my sidebar, and I switched to claude just to see if it had other "opinions" they glaze me a bit, but that's to be expected, but otherwise they do say some helpful things. I just don't know how well I can "trust" them.
>>25438359Meh. And the sun causes cancer.
>>25438177Give me a rundown of the story, and the pic if you really want to use it, and I'll make you one. I like making covers.
>>25438370Not as bad as /wg/.
>>25438377A retelling of Saint Olga of Kiev and the Primary Chronicleshttps://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Olga_of_Kiev
>>25438388Dude, there are some badass paintings of her. Why didn't you use some of those?
>>25438402I thought of it, but all paintings are all of her post Christianity and sainthood. the story is before that point. That said, that would be my choice in the end if i can't make a decent cover
>>25438405Let me see what I can cobble together. I've got a couple ideas.
>>25438402>>25438405>>25438408there's even a really cool statue of her
>>25435871I'm so fucking happy the Tates are going to be tortured to death in prison. There is no group of shitmouthed cuckold pigs who deserve it more. Mohammadean filth. Jawless shitcolors. Imagine how he will thrash and plead when the Aryan Brotherhood pins him down and rips his teeth out one at a time. How he will beg to his nonexistent shitskin Mohammadean God when they grasp his shit-covered little fingers and twist and break them, one at a time. "No no no no please no please no no no!" Like a toddler who has just learned what the opposite of yes means.They should make it pay per view. Shitskins. Shitbloods. Shit colored eyes and shit colored souls. Beaten and raped and tortured. Made to smash big rocks into little rocks, forever. Life. Life! Chained to a wall in a salt mine, Life! No more watches, no more big cigars, no cars no movie stars no leather seats, just PAIN. Fucking VERMIN. SHIT COLORED VERMIN.
>>25438425But what color is your Bugatti?
>>25438177Here's what I got. Your name kept fucking me up. Still unhappy with it.
>>25438438appeal to accomplishment fallacy, dickhead
>>25438464Looks too much like a non fiction history book. Do something like circe
>>25438471I'm working with canva and paint, my dude. your options are limited.
>>25437927>mfw reading thatNo.
>>25438028Constructive criticism isn't treated as trolling. Seems you are telling on yourself that your so called "criticism" isn't constructive.
>>25438245>enjoying things as a ends on to themself is loser mindset>having hobbies is loser mindsetWhy are you here?Shouldn't you be grinding for money or social clout right now?Or do you not actually believe the things you say?
>>25438468Ah, because your bitch fit earlier was so rationally sound and you guys are totally having a formal debate and it isn't just you reeeing over being triggered by someone the media programmed you with a opinion on.
>>25438136>>25438171So? Aren't you going to call me brown or something? Is our resident troll finally at a loss for words?
Any thoughts are welcome. I'm writing in an intentionally old, essayistic style.
>>25438820very good. I love the prose, ideas, and the first person narrative really made me immersed in your story thus far. I especially love the alliteration use of>enumerate each expedient I employedWow. That's simply masterful writing right there. An excellent contribution to /wg/
>>25438464worse than the original.
sock it to me
>working on story>start changing psych meds>completely lose ability to focus or write>tfw switching meds again bc the first switch didn't help>tfw have to go another month or two without being able to writeit's so overI also have ideas for the start and end of stories but the middle always eludes me
>>25438850Thank you, anon! The use of semicolons was by far the hardest part for me. I read enough classical essays that I felt confident mimicking the writing style, but those semicolons bug me the most.
>>25438814>complete retard posting and begging to be called brown>the writer is ackshually the troll tho
>>25438893Psych meds are death for creativity. They don't help you become sane; they help you become controllable.
>>25438916>totally misses the point, probably deliberately
>>25438874why do you keep smashing the enter key?
>>25438937yeah but without them things are generally worseI could still write sometimes on my previous meds, but missing even one dose was hell so I'm trying to find a replacementI may have just burnt myself out too, I finished the first "half" of a visual novel, though it's really only a fifth considering I have 4 routes to write now, and the first bit was already 21k words
>>25438893all ideas suck
>>25438978Psych meds have sent you into a downward spiral. They were never intended to help you. But it may be too late now.
>>25438960eh it started off being formatted for a different type of work, i just haven’t gotten around to collapsing the paragraphs yet.
>>25439008then why write >>25439009nah I was doing way worse prior to meds, it's just trying to find the right oneI'll take not being able to write bc I have trouble conservation over not being able to write bc I'm too busy planning suicide attempts
>>25438464>>25438471>>25438177http://www.historicalfictionbookcovers.com/2015/07/the-art-of-book-cover-design-for.htmllook at this.
>>25439059because writing isn't about ideas
>>25438893Sounds like you're talking to your doctor, which is what you should do in this situation.
>>25439068I'm curious what you believe writing is actually about because, in my experience, most—if not all—writing is about conveying ideas.
>>25439067>Just follow the trends bro. You want to sell to the masses don't you?
>>25439153What do you think a book cover is for?
>>25439157Covering the book.
>>25439008Speak for yourself. My ideas are why I write.
>>25439059You have a real problem. Psych meds aren't the cure; they're not even a treatment.
>>25439162then your book will suck
>>25439115writing is about telling a story. Ideas are like shit. everyone can make them and they all smell bad. some people call something an idea, when its actually a theme. some people call something worldbuilding, when they are actually ideas. ideas don't make good books, its everything else that happens in them really.Some people say show don't tell. some say don't show or tell. Reddit lessons say its all about the execution of ideas. truth is, none of those are important. good writing is all about consistancy. consistancy of characters. consistancy of voice. consistancy of events. consistancy of pace. Like a metronome. writing is a skill. It takes skill to lead one thing seamlessly into another. to set up things and to pay them off. that not a single word is wasted, not one word typed is useless.People like ideas. they like them more than writing. but ideas don't make good books.
At least now we know how to shut up NJB. Just compare him to a faggot Eric Idle.
>>25439189I've completed more than one book, and am working on another. But, pray tell, what do books need to not suck, if not ideas?
>>25439207stories are an idea, anon
>>25439207Then we can all just robotically follow "The Anatomy Of Story" by John Truby and crank out page-turners that get sold in airport stalls. Whoop-de-freaking-doo. That doesn't interest me.
>>25439208sup nigga? wanna talk some shit?
>>25439238>>25438171
>>25439263wasn't accurate or funny the first time, ranjesh. keep coping.
>>25439207I like what gene wolfe said about ideas being tigers and (good) stories being circuses, not zoos. Nobody wants to see a fatass tiger asleep and doing nothing.
>>25439208The actual way to shut him up is to ask him about his motion picture production experience
>>25439275It wasn't meant to be funny, so much as accurate.
>>25439207"Idea" is an umbrella term in this context, silly goose.>story>theme>worldbuildingare all ideas. You also misspelled "consistency." Not sure if trolling or just stupid.
>>25439275>holding a fag drink meant for post-wall women
>>25437379This reads really weird to me. Like you're trying to write a movie. >We find William lerion...Why is there a omniscient narrator using 2nd person telling us about this person?Why not just have William be the POV character?
>>25439318Boor is a failed filmmaker who probably just passes his screenplays through an LLM to convert them into prose.
>>25439295read the stories and decide for yourself if they should've been made in the "no non-faggot white guys allowed" era of Hollywood. but yeah i'm sure you celebrate the leftist freaks who gatekept me instead? i should've been writing novels the whole time, this was the only way it was ever going to work.
>>25439324NPC bucket crab #5327
>>25439332There are plenty of "non-faggot white guys" writing and directing features in [CURRENT YEAR]. I suspect you're not one of them because you have no collaborative spirit and can't see any in-between from being a nobody screenwriter playing with imaginary dolls to being a bigshot Hollywood auteur commanding full creative control.
>>25439349Am I wrong? Have you not given up on (failed) making anything resembling a motion picture? Did you not use an LLM to convert your screenplays?
>>25435807How come Boor used The Matrix to advertise his book here? Doesn't he hate trans people?
>>25438874I liked it. Felt like the pacing was good keeping the conversation flowing. I felt like I got a good amount of character from Laura through her thought process. I however cannot help but read this in a trans-Atlantic accent in my head. Not sure if that's intended.
I am really starting to get into writing recently and want to write something bigger than usual. Usually I use paper, but this time I think I will try typing out my work to avoid using up pages.Which software is reliable and preferably open source for someone starting off with writing?
>>25439067absolutely not
>>25439390vim
>>25439219>>25439306the definition is whatever suits your biases and pendantic driveling. ideas are the inane data, the inconsequential. stories are unique narratives that are synthesised by you, the author. the parts that render a book pointless if removed or neglected
>>25439390Vim or emacs + typst if you want to go the "steep learning curve + highest power" routeI've been having a lot of fun playing with typesetting and formatting with such a setup
>>25439358you are wrong and retarded on all counts. from here on out you can only reply to NJB if you are A60 and above. give it a rest, subhuman scum.
>>25439390I like liber office writer.It's a good free open-source word processor that has a lot of plug-ins to customize it however you like.If you ever learned MS office then you already know how to use writer.
>>25439418Why would someone going from pen and paper want the thing with the highest learning curve and capabilities they likely will never use and don't even understand. Seems like setting the person up for failure by intentionally making things way more difficult for no good reason.
>>25439433Because it's cool and fun and up to him regardless?
>>25439424Okay, where's your movie?
>>25439411>>25439418>>25439432Many thanks
>>25439324>>25437379>>25437482I just looked this up and you aren't kidding. He is the SAME clown who wrote that 'Dark Triad' bullshit and shilled it here and to zoomers on other platforms.Nicholas John Boor, F. Gardner, Bronze Age Pervert, R.C. Waldun, and even R. Scott Bakker.All of this in just half a decade, and none of those books were enjoyable except for that one American Psycho ripoff set in LATAM.
>>25439493>F. GardnerPeople at least read Call of the Croc.I'm not sure why this guy thinks being a writer is some sort of a prestigious "job". He acts like a retarded low IQ brownoid who has the impression writers drink and do drugs while partying all day.The only drugs writers do are caffeine and maybe amphetamines if you are beyond caring.If the AIslopper wrote for half the time he shills here, maybe he'd have something.I try to be gentle with anons' postings here. Usually when someone posts, it's an amateur writer just starting to write. They want input, and I usually have nothing to give. Their writings are usually painfully mediocre, which isn't terrible, but that's not good either.This guy is completely shameless despite his shit being basically at beginner level, but he's shamelessly shilling as if he was better than those meek excerpt posters.>>25437379I know WHY he doesn't post excerpts now. Leaving present tense aside,>hip, sharply dressed industry typesOkay, describe them.He doesn't? Oh, okay.>fancy hors d'oeuvres are being handed outOkay, desc-Oh, he doesn't again? I guess he doesn't want to waste words on describing things that can be surmised by the reade->proceeds to fashion catalogue his self insert literally me>the most important part of that IKEA paragraph? The eyes of a man who is well-versed in the practice of powerLeaving aside that I'm not sure if "practice of power" is the word he was using here, DESCRIBE THEM.>doesn't
>>25439390I really enjoy this https://github.com/vkbo/novelWriter
>>25439390I'll second libreoffice. I use that, though it's not the best. It's just msoffice but open sores.
>>25439552Is there anyone else using this btw? It all works perfectly fine for me on Mac except spell checking. I’m wondering if I’m alone on this issue
My character is too weak and needs a cool power up but I don't know what. Do I just give him a mech? It's a fantasy setting.
>>25439680Why can't he just stay weak and clutch when he needs to?
>>25439701NTA but readers can be very sensitive to anything that smacks of deus ex machina luckto pull that off, you basically have to have him fuck up so often that the one time he clutches it, it's a bolt from the blueeven then, if he's too weak, it can be too little too late. like Severus Snape and Samwell Tarly; readers got too fed up with them before they could pull their grand Sydney Carton act
>>25439701>Why can't he just stay weak and clutch when he needs to?Because the story's becoming repetitive with him either losing every fight or getting the stronger members of the cast to save him.
>>25439754So why can't he just do the math that he's getting his ass kicked and he needs to change something?Why is Deus Ex Machina acceptable when God gives you an I WIN button before you need it?Why can't the guy just fight smarter, dirtier, or just decide not to take fights? Why can't he fight only when he's sure he can win? Why can't he set up the fight ahead of time so that him winning is the only option?If you wrote a retard that is incapable of that believably, and he's understandably getting his ass kicked for being weak, maybe that is the natural consequence of things?Maybe this character's luck should just fucking run out?
>>25439757I see now. Thank you anon. I'll change my plans and think about where to go next.
>>25439680Not enough info to give a real answer. As such I only will say training arcs or him learning from failure to do better later in the story is better than just throwing random powerups at your protag. Have him go on a journey to become the hero the story needs in the end.A hero's journey some would say.
>>25437379
>>25439332Why are you obsessing over Hollywood? That town is dead. Production has moved literally everywhere else. Uwe Boll just released "Citizen Vigilante"; I challenge you to explain how that's dominated by faggots.
>>25439548holy sperg meltdown lmao>YOU MUST DESCRIBE EVERY SINGLE INCONSEQUENTIAL DETAIL OF THE SCENEhave you read anything before? what a retard
>>25439390Just use a standard text editor, or if you're not comfortable using pandoc to convert Markdown format to a WYSIWYG formatted variant, just use LibreOffice from the beginning.
>>25439951Citizen Vigilante hasn't even recouped its budget yet
>>25439369it was intended and i’m kind of amazed it came through. probably some of the ma'am's helped. is it off-putting? the general vibe is supposed to be a surrealist version of that era/alternate universe in that time period, only loosely associated.
>>25439951I live here and I'm never leaving. For now I'm aspiring to be James Ellroy, just a madman novelist who occasionally gets a big film adaptation.
>>25439415You can continue bleating about how ideas aren't important, or you can give some examples of works where the ideas are inconsequential and whatever you're calling the "story" is dominant.
>>25439424That eye color chart is from looksmax.org. Figures you're obsessed with that sort of thing. Be careful not to die from some toxic unregulated supplement. Or not. I don't care.
>>25439952That's the difference between novel writing and screenplay writing. With screenplays, you can give the audience details visually. With novels, your writing is their only window into your world. For example, you mention the temperature in passing, but never describe how the air smells, or whether there's any wind.
>>25439961And neither have Supergirl, Masters of the Universe, Mandalorian and Grogu, Snow White, Thunderbolts, Captain America: Brave New World...did you have a point, or are you just seething about non-Hollywood productions?>>25439963Enjoy living in the wreckage of what was once a prosperous town. No idea why everything is so expensive there despite not offering squat. I'm guessing you still live with your parents.
>>25439981no that's the difference between having taste and storytelling tact vs slavishly reporting details because "that's how novels work." maybe nobody reads your boring shit because you over describe everything and never get to the story.
>>25439986>Enjoy living in the wreckage of what was once a prosperous town. No idea why everything is so expensive there despite not offering squat. I'm guessing you still live with your parents.it's a gorgeous perfect 80 degree sunny day today (it's been that way every day for months). and i pay for my own apartment. any more copes from you pathetic faggots?
>>25439986>did you have a pointhow do you measure dominance in a way that one (1) loss-making film has somehow made the hundreds of other Hollywood films, both profitable and loss-making, somehow "non-dominant"?
Hey, here's a novel idea for you—write a tale of a delusional young looksmaxxing man, trying to live in a world that simply doesn't exist anymore, paying for his own apartment by selling pictures of himself to gross old men on the Internet, and slowly coming to terms with the fact that he's living a lie & time has passed him by? You can pattern the story structure after "Mrs. Bridge".>>25439988So "attention is drawn instead to his frigid blue eyes...the eyes of a man who is well versed in the practice of power, the hard realities of dealing in violence" is supposed to be storytelling tact? It's an inert lump of "tell". And obviously one works in the details among action and dialog, neither of which happen in your sample.>>25439990Enjoy the smog, graffiti, and homeless camps.
>>25440001you live in a brown shithole and your lame ass "advice" belongs right there with you. it's "dialogue" btw, jeetstein.
>>25440002Actually, I live in a very white-dominated city. Los Angeles is pretty much the definition of "brown shithole" these days. You should definitely write the tale of a delusional young looksmaxxing man—I think you'll find it a natural fit. And "dialogue" is the British variant, nothing more...and you're not British.
>>25439952>holy sperg meltdown lmaoNah, you wanted critique, you fucking retard, so I gave you some because you put your regurgitated thoughts front and center here.Your writing is fucking shit and you have no shame. You are lower than the lowest of dalits. Try writing more instead of shilling.
>>25440010wrong, dumbass. a "dialog" box is a computer window, "dialogue" is conversation.>>25440016i didn't post the page, you low IQ creatura. stop posting your peasant language in the genny, no shit for brains hindi words allowed.
>>25440002>you live in a brown shitholeNo hablas ingles senor. Los Angeles es Mehico.
>>25440019>i didn't post the pageIs this not your writing? >>25437379
>>25440023yeah, somebody else capped and posted it. is that beyond your insect comprehension?
>>25440025Okay. So it is your writing.Now, is the OP picture yours?
>>25440026Nah, you're done. Go change your diaper and take another adderal enema, Jeetstein, I'm not arguing with your subhuman ass.I've already sold 5 books today, I think I'll just enjoy the SoCal sun, close the tab and line up some pussy for tonight. Enjoy your mud hut in India or whatever!
>>25440030Damn, you made 5 dollars today?>I want to be x! Anonymous user, you live in a brown shithole! No, I do not need to be evocative or descriptive, that's for gay faggots who read books! (and not my superior screenplays!)Go work in a factory, faggot. You're going to have better returns on time invested.You have extreme delusion. You think your shit doesn't stink, and you shove it in everyone's faces. You're overall insufferable. If you were successful, you wouldn't need to shill your books in a place with an average of 0.1 posts per minute.I insist, write more and shill less. Learn to pick up good prose. Be descriptive. Be evocative. Go ahead and write about yourself insert fantasy cool guy that you want to be - there is a market for that.But please for the love of God get better at writing before you start thinking you're the best shit ever, you fucking retard.>close the tab and line up some pussy for tonightBuy a condom if you can afford it because a woman that can be bought for $5 is pretty fucking sketchy.It would do you better if you wrote instead of "enjoying SoCal sun". Maybe then you'd write something that isn't basically a 13 year old's fantasy about being a big tough man who had cool tattoos and he looked very threatening - I won't say why, though.
>Not getting paid.>Laptop is delayed. Damnit. I want to write but I've got nothing to do it with. >Pen and paper!Typings easier I'm afraid.
>>25440080Buy a typewriter.
>>25440019Did I say "dialog box"? I said "dialog". That's still the American variant, and "dialogue" is still the British variant. And I see you have no reaction to my revelation that your city is much browner than mine.>>25440030I can't imagine what kind of pussy you can buy from the profits from five copies of your latest masterpiece. Maybe that crack whore that howls continuously outside your apartment building's window.
>>25440030Im honestly surprised some random stranger bought it.
Holy shit there are some seething brownoids ITT lmao.
>>25440089Cannot buy anything at the moment, financial issues.
>>25438177I like it in general. But those crosses need to go. Like everyone else, it's not the cross, but the clipart of it. It's got to be very fancy. Especially if this is about a Princess
>>25440187"Financial issues" is the overarching theme of my life.
>>25440188Also if you are going to insist on crosses, use the Orthodox ones.
>>25440187Sad. But if you go on ebay or craigslist or something, you can get them for next to nothing. I bought a really nice one for 1,50€. But that was years ago and who knows what kind of fucked up trendy gentrification has been going on since then. Still, might not hurt to check it out.
I just wrote this. What do you think?Dick's face turned sour as he clicked the aptly-named "submit" button. He watched his Zelle balance increase, hardly compensating for his latest submission. It was a mildly profitable business—selling pictures of his younger self to gross old men on the Internet. What would they think of how he looked now? His hand found his receding hairline; he didn't dare to feel the bald spot on top. Years of looksmaxxing in his early 20s seemed like a waste of time, until finding this lucrative new venture. At least it kept a roof over his head.Most of his customers were just creeps. This latest one was the rarer type, one that claimed to be in the movie business, hinting vaguely at possible future production work. Nothing had come of similar such offers, but he could always hope.He leaned back in his chair, sighed heavily, and stared at the ceiling. The roof was only a few inches on the other side, roasting in the sun all day, releasing the accumulated heat into his apartment at night like some diabolical battery. The torrid vomit leached into his living space, keeping the air sweltering at all hours of the day.Dick turned to look at his window-mounted air conditioner, struggling and sputtering. It may only be eighty degrees outside, but the humidity made it feel much worse. The leaking weatherstripping surrounding it did little to keep out the stench of rotting garbage and the funk of the seemingly endless homeless camps filling every sidewalk for as far as his eye could see. The cold air only extended a few yards from the blower, before being subsumed by the miasma of his miserable apartment.He caught a glimpse of himself in the window. Where had the years gone? His hazel eyes used to burn with hope, gleaming with the promises of his dreams. Now they showed only fatigue and ennui. His ice-blue contact lenses did little to hide the pathos in his gaze.
>>25440212To the north stood the Hollywood VIP Hotel, a trashy little shack that, like him, had seen better days. Its faded paint proclaimed the glory of movie stars several decades out of date. Still, it wasn't a bad place for someone like him to trade five bucks for a blowjob from an ever-changing coterie of crack whores. Cheaper than drugs, and only slightly less addicting. He knew he could give it up any time he wanted to.Across the wide avenue outside his building stood a studio. They mostly did advertising campaigns, but he would do anything to work for them, to get a foothold in the industry. Years ago, they gave him a chance to script an ad for a new brand of deodorant. They tore his idea to shreds; did he have any idea how expensive it would be to film at a cliff-hanger style mansion that spilled into patio and pool? Or to pay all the extras that would have to pose as starlets, models, and hired pros? And why did he choose a forty-something thug in a crushed purple velvet jacket as his protagonist? His sense of style was decades out of date, they claimed, as well as the very definition of sad cringe. He could still hear their derisive laughter, years after it chased him out of the building. He'd show them, he vowed. He'd show them all. What the hell was a "tiger house" anyways? It was a stupid name.Later today, he would have to walk to his waiter job, a few blocks away, at one of Hollywood's oldest eateries. It wasn't very dignified, but at least the pay was steady. Most of the other waiters had lost their jobs when the city raised its minimum wage, but somehow he hung on. Perhaps it had something to do with the transvestite that ran the kitchen—he was old-school, never claiming to be a woman, but still did his best to dress like one. He had yet to proposition Dick, but the threat seemed to hang around him like so much fart gas.No doubt about it, Richard Lester Boor—or "dickless bore", as the high school jocks taunted him mercilessly for four tortuous years—didn't have a lot going for him.
>>25440213His cell phone chimed. It was the creep who just bought a selection of shirtless pics from his halcyon days. Dick sighed as he read the sleazy compliments, perking up when he saw what followed."I showed your snaps around the office!" the message claimed. "Some of the boys are interested in trying you out for a position in the studio! Interested?"Dick suddenly stood erect. Typing furiously with his thumbs, he replied "Sure! What kind of work?"An eternity seemed to pass as he waited for the reply. "They think you'd make a great fluffer!"Dick's face wrinkled, his age showing like a scrotum. "What is that?"The next reply took even longer. "A fluffer helps us perk up the shots. You'd be working with our stars!"Dick's wide eyes oozed with glee. "So I'd be there to punch up the scripts?" He'd always wanted to get a writing job in a studio. He aspired to be James Ellroy, a madman novelist who occasionally gets a big film adaptation. This could be his big break!"Yeah, something like that," came the reply. "When are you available? We could use you now!""I'm yours!" Dick promised. "Just tell me where to come!"Moments later, an address popped up on his screen for the Emerson Theatre, a burlesque joint. Memories of cringe quickly overwhelmed him. He last went there at least a month ago, or maybe two, to drink at the bar and maybe score a lady companion. The disgusted face of the young hottie he tried to pull still burned in his mind, but the mocking dished out by her companions was much worse. Their words still rang in his ears. "You're so old," one young man jeered, "that if you said something racist, we'd let it slide." He had finished his drink quickly and tried to stride out with his dignity intact, only to be reminded by the bartender, backed up by the bouncer, that he hadn't paid yet. Dick had to walk for what seemed like a mile back to the bar to settle his tab, all the while being ridiculed for his pathetic parody of a pickup artist.But this was different! Now he'd be working backstage! And in the dignified-sounding position of fluffer! He couldn't wait to see what they wanted him to fluff. He quickly put on his best shirt, a silk button-down that revealed his scrawny excuse for a chest. Donning red velvet pants and black platform shoes, he rushed out the door, slamming it behind him.
>>25440212>>25440213>>25440215Kino.
>>25440189You're posting here using an electronic device. Why can't you use that to write?
>>25440314I am, it's just not a profitable venture.
>>25439548not saying these examples are very good writing at all, but the single most important part of reading is using your imagination. the author does not need to describe evert last thing, only that which is most important to the story he's trying to tell. Most of everything else is supposed to be filled in by the reader if not explicitly descibed.if its not described explicitly then its usually not important
>>25440212>>25440213>>25440215can't relate
>>25440080If you can't manage a pen and paper, you aren't going to make it regardless of what you use
>>25439952part of being a good writer and not a shit one is knowing which details need description, and which are as you put it "inconsequential"otherwise, "white room syndrome" would not be a thing>>25439548 was kindly pointing out to you why your writing is shitno, it doesn't matter that you THOUGHT it was "inconsequential"; your readers disagree>>25440342>if its not described explicitly then its usually not importantor, far more likely with amateur writing: the writer is shit>>25437379>looks like another screenplaythat's because the writing lacks sensory description, just as a screenplay would
>>25439415No, the definition is>a formulated thought or opinionmaking it an extremely generic term that can be applied to many different things
>>25440393whatever you say retard
>>25435807which self-publishing sites / services can you use a pen-name on? which would try their best to keep your real name private?
>>25440393I guess no one can ever use the term "ideas guy" because technically everyone alive has "ideas". fucking disingenuous faggot
For the first time, I'm hopeful that I'll actually finish a story. It's wonderful.
>>25440375>that's because the writing lacks sensory description, just as a screenplay wouldDo you not understand the difference between third and first person? Don't hurt yourself trying to criticize something you don't understand in the first place.
>>25440431Gosh, how eloquent. No wonder you've chosen to pursue writing as a vocation.
>>25440450Third person would still have sensory description, bore.
>>25440105As an American, I’ve never ever heard of or seen someone use dialog for dialogue. In my mind they’re two distinct terms as the screenwriter said before me.
>>25440212>>25440213>>25440215why is the joke writing here so much better than what actually gets posted? you guys should just write entire novels of this type of shit, it’s clearly all we know and live in the modern era.
>>25440499That has happened before.Check out "Call Of United Airlines" at https://files.catbox.moe/aw9gz2.pdf and/or "Call Of Wells Fargo" at https://files.catbox.moe/rpuvnd.pdf, both written in response to an earlier talentless troll.
>>25440437Everyone has ideas, an "ideas guy" is someone who only has ideas
A little hommage to the greatest.Sucking cocks is the pleasure she'll never forget!With thick sausages pistoning right in the neck,Gagging, gulping, and crying, her pants getting wet,A heavenly being desires to be wrecked.She devours a load... or a hundred, or more...Satiation evolves into nausea and sore.It is not a nice feel, being filled to the core:All feel like obligations now; she is bored.Her unbearable life has gone into the dark...'Till a glorious guy is seen near a park!Blissed by butterflies, shivers, yet holding a mask:"Would you help me find something I dropped?" she will ask.Oh, he will; he has plans far more grand than what's offered:In his mind he is already bending her over."Would be honored, my lady," assessing the stock;"Such a gentleman, you are," she craves for his cock!A long weekend has passed under riveting drums —Were it less, they'd have faced gentle chides from their mums.It's quite thinner, quite longer, but still chewed like gum;Just another beloved one grunts: "Swallow cum!"
>>25440492Your anecdotal evidence doesn't supersede the actual truth of the English language.
>>25440523If this is original I’m gonna suck your dick. Come here, boy.
>>25440527Actually anecdotal use is how language evolves through dialects, m’sir. And I’ll say again, as someone who works with screenwriters that ‘dialog’ has never once been used in the industry as far as I’ve been involved, to describe a conversation between people.
>>25440450whichever POV you're thinking of, to say that it must not have sensory description would be deeply wrongand at that level of (mis)understanding, nothing you write is worth reading
>>25440535>>25440527>>25440492>Noun>dialog (countable and uncountable, plural dialogs)>(US) Uncommon spelling of dialogue.
>>25440535And yet still no one cares about your anecdotal evidence, or your appeal to authority. But, by all means, keep focusing on a single word instead of literally any other part of the argument. That doesn't make you look petty or small-minded in the least.
>>25440547
>>25440547>>25440545yes, uncommon. never seen it
>>25440547and one more for posterity. you’re the one that pointed it out, i’m just correcting the record here.
>>25440552Wow, now you're appealing to authority using an AI? That's beyond sad. You are literally admitting that an AI can replace you.>>25440554>>25440558Wow, more anecdotal evidence from literal nobodies! Well, there you have it! Case closed! Meanwhile, literally every other aspect of my argument is ignored for autistic screeching about my "uncommon" but accurate spelling choice.
>>25440552>>25440554>r*ddit posts and an LLM generation as citations
>>25440562and i should just believe you because you say it’s true, right? see anons, this is why you always take what people say on here with a grain of salt.
>T. B. (aka me) watching everyone gang up on N. J. B.
>>25440563redditors are hardly people sure but they’re examples of common americans backing up the fact that fucking no one uses dialog in american english to describe ‘dialogue’
>>25440568i’m not NJB btw just tired of anons making false assertions because they just feel like something is true (they made it up to argue)
>>25440569>fucking no one uses dialog in american englishThe opposite is true. Perhaps not many, but fucking someone uses dialog in American English. Now that you've seen it, you can stop remarking on it and move on.
>>25440570>i’m not NJBI can assert beyond any shadow of a doubt that this is untrue, and I'm able and willing to argue about it.
>>25440571right, very uncommonly… that’s much different from your assertion that it’s the accepted adaptation of ‘dialogue’ in american english.
What the hell is going on right now?
>>25440576Ah shit I forgot to put "NTA" somewhere. My only assertion is that "dialog" is a perfectly acceptable and unremarkable variant of "dialogue".
>>25440578That tuberculosis author just walked in so shit's about to go down
>>25440565That's what you want me to do, right? Just believe you because you say it's true? The lack of self-awareness here is just suffocating. The simple fact is that "dialog" is grammatically correct even if it's uncommon. And you're using this autistic focus as part of a pathetic ploy to ignore the strength of the rest of my argument. This is a textbook example of a red herring.
giving sitcom a try.https://rentry.co/tmtbzyh5
>>25440591>shityou're half right at least
>>25440605I don't get it.
>>25436463just say its fucking stupid.Speed, bro. Speed.
>>25437548good post
>>25440608Total Bitch Johnson is equivalent to excrement
>>25440507Lol I can't believe he got sued and had to take it down
>>25440622Yeah, the troll DMCA'd it. What a pussy. My paperback copies are probably worth a fortune.
My writing is shit and I should KMS
>>25440611That doesn't make sense... how is "That tuberculosis author just walked in so shit's about to go down" only half-true
>>25440727You have more reasons to live than just writing.
>>25440727Never kill yourself.>>25440740This. I torment people with my writing.
>>25440740No. That’s why I should KMS.
>>25440727If you kys you'll definitely never get better
>>25440742You should live to wire money to my bank account.
I got three samples. I know #3 would appeal most to 4chan crowd, but i think #1 would have the most mass appeal
>>25440822theres basically no difference between 1 and 2 but 2 frames the focus of the cover (her eye presumably) better. maybe take the cross from 2 and the transparent overlay style from 1. but yeah i do think 3 looks infinitely better
Anyone know bookfox? Is his advice good?
>>25440822I like the third one the most purely because I hate the fucking shit of >foid stares at viewer type of covers.
>>25440822i like the birds. try making the cross smaller
>>254408223rd
>>25440837Yes and no.He's a youtube guy. How do you expect a youtube guy help you write?Do whatever you think will work. Take whatever anyone takes with a grain of salt.
>>25440822take the cross from 2 and scale it to better fit the 'of the'. better negative space usage. the middle of the cover is super fucking cluttered
>>25440822Try #3 with birds.
>>25440860how's that?
>>25440891Barely visible. I'd just turn the entire bottom into a silhouette of the birds and the city.
>>25440519yeah thats you
>>25440909You know you have no evidence to back up your sour attitude. You're just a crank.
>>25440891Honestly if you want more mass appeal, you should stick with the original. This is really going to limit who reads it. Because a lot of people don't like historical fiction and since it's a retelling and not non-fiction, you should use something that represents the retelling.
>>25440891Put borders on your lettering, looks fucktons better and more professional
>>25440822instead of that, use this cover. maybe in a deep green, or deep leather. with some elaborate etching, borders and the title inlaid across the spine instead of shittily down it. you know, something that actually looks good
>>25441481>title inlaid across the spine instead of shittily down itNAYRT but what?Post examples
>>25441514its called "transverse" vs "descending" which is more common. idk why you'd want transverse its only something really old books used to do
>>25440507Is the person who sperged out to my list of shills one of the talentless trolls?The style of writing in their reply seems... familiar. It could even be on of the shills themselves since they went ahead and defended one author in particular >>25439548
>>25441533Thanks l>idk why you'd want transverseI do. The fucking hours I've spent with my neck craned 90 degrees browsing bookshelves.
>>25440212>>25440213>>25440215I actually do want to know what's gonna happen next lolSpotty wording in the first half of the first post but chacun a son goutRest was fineExcellent writing for an off the cuff trollFess up, you've published smut online haven't you?
>>25440212>>25440213>>25440215Reading this passage is like seeing into the future, and I don't like it.
>>25435807hi guys. long time. so into things. customizing my firefox (cleaned cookies) and i thouogh why not put an image there appropriate to story: plot, character ext. I was hoping for the 6 things referenced in this video for being a writer. so if into writing it might be wirth a see.if not. firefox wall papers. may be a hot girl reading a book. i wonder if there is such an image. this internet thing is pertty gud.image inb4: webm related to writing. I'm thinking jokes, maybe if you're into it an amphiboly. Its an easy edit on linux, pobably one or two sudo apt installs. Feed this prompt into gemini. That could be a fun project. I can do it if you are new to the using linux. >no, image fag.
>>25439962I didn't find it off-putting, if anything it made it stand out to me and I think that having strong character voice is usually a good thing as long as you can distinguish between characters well enough. I think it also helps the pacing because I feel a almost staccato delivery that naturally bounces between characters. I'd watch out about having more than two characters in a conversation and if you can really fell which character is speaking. Hope that's helpful good luck
>>25441680duh. forgot link:https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F7i3w6XW_2Q
>>25441633>>25441635There will be more if NJB continues to be an obnoxious troll.
>>25441908>>25441908>>25441908
