How's this for an ending?
Fantasyslop with a Mary Sue?
>>25470906None of those words relate to the text.
>>25470347>shall we go?>let's goim goin'
>>25470915Sure... dogs just instinctively know she's special. I've seen your kind repeatedly in /wg/.>what do you think of my writing?>it could use some work.>noooooooo it's the crown of creation and i'm a genius, how dare UUUUUUUU
>>25470957It's afterlife and she herself turns into a dog in the end. People don't like your critique becouse it hurts their feelings, but rather becouse you can't read.
>>25470964It's even more of a Mary Sue if this happens to her in the afterlife, because now, she has divine approval.
>>25471323You are embarrasing.
>>25471449And you're embarrassed. Once again...>what do you think of my writing?>it could use some work.>noooooooo it's the crown of creation and i'm a genius, how dare UUUUUUUU
>>25471465None of your posts relate to the text. It's not fantasy and there's no mary sure. You lack reading skills to give any feedback on any writing and use words that you don't know meaning of. Yet think that's some kind of intelligent and worthy feedback. How the fuck do you not know what fantasy and mary sue means btw? I'd love to hear explanation what's mary sue about any of the characters but you have not given it.I like these shadow arguments full of projections you are having though. You are very insecure about your intelligence and for a good reason.Just do "I was only pretending to be retarded" and stop wasting my time.
>>25471530t. totally lacks self-awareness
>>25471530She's a Mary Sue because she has no flaws. It's a fantasy because there's some sort of sylvan afterlife, instead of the awful hell of existence. Want a more in-depth review? Here you go.>It came from somewhere over there.>She went too, not at the front, but not at the back either.>As they went, she saw.>He smelled, he stank, the way horses smell and stink.>Hoelus looked back again and again, and again and again she was standing there.Awkward phrasing.>For there was light in the darkness.>The light gave warmth. It was a fire.Awkward/pretentious phrasing.>He was there too, of course he was.Awkward plus a comma splice.>His feet stuck out from those scraps, he was barefoot.Comma splice.This is why the /wg/ OP says>Expect critique, not praise.If you want praise, ask AI—it's programmed to be sycophantic, in order to suck you in.And before start whining about my responses, keep in mind that only one other anon responded >>25470934 and sounds like he's mocking you.
>>25471662Love how indepth criticism for you equals calling random sentences awkward without explanation. Btw do you expect a novel to introduce new character flaws on the last page? Name a book that does that.
>>25471711Unless you're ESL, I shouldn't have to explain why they sound awkward. And I didn't just pick random sentences... I actually read through your sample and thought about it. No appreciation at all for the work I went through for some insufferable smug anon with a superiority complex.
