Post the worst/unintentionally funniest excerpts you've ever seen.
why is it centred?
>>25475019You hate this because you are unloved. Goofy moments like this happen all the time in normal relationships and happy people find them endearing.
>>25475019
>>25475029In the context of the book itself this conversation happens in a flashback right before a fucking car crash that then kills that son.
>>25475029>unironically defending booktok garbage
>>25475022For some reason every flashback/memory segment in the book is centered as like a stylistic choice.
From the same author:
>>25475058Bro forgot about India
>>25475040That's… very bad
>>25475039What have you written that’s sold more copies than the book you posted?The whore that wrote this has more balls than you for putting her work out there and getting other people to buy it.
>>25475029>>25475091Sorry someone criticized your book, ma'am
>>25475091>What have you written that’s sold more copiesWhat the fuck is this weird glaze? I’m not an author. I have a job. Are non-authors not allowed to have opinions on written works? Are you retarded? And what does book sales have to do with whether the book is good or shit?
>>25475099You’ve never produced any written work that another person would willingly read. You brag about being a neo-prole wageslave. Please produce more opinions on topics you know nothing about, so I can mock you.
>>25475115Let’s see your latest written work with proof of authorship. Of course I’m going to insist that it be something that’s sold at least as many copies as the slop you’re simping for.
>>25475115>merely stating the fact of one’s employment is “bragging”Get a load of this fucking bum
>>25475037genuinely the funniest shit I've seen tonight. thanks and cheers
>>25475126Crickets. How odd!
>>25475126>>25475133Pitiable helots. Your slave stench hits my nose through the screen. Try creating something and you may become more tolerable in the process.
>>25475152Yep, that’s what I thought. You’ve never produced any written work that another person would willingly read. You brag about being an unemployed leech. Please produce more opinions on topics you know nothing about, so I can mock you.Jk you’re not even worth the effort it’d take to mock you kek
>>25475019>>25475058These are genuinely fucking funny
>>25475390god this brings back memoriesanyone ever find out what the ben franklin thing was about?
>>25475390Nothing wrong with this. Has a woman ever told you she loves you before sucking your cock? I bet not.
>>25475284You made me read them with this post. And I disagree. I rate them both 1/10 on the funny factor.
>>25475394I mean I would just assume he's talking about 100 dollar bills.
>>25475394Benjamin Franklin is on the U.S. 100 dollar bill. A hip-hop song called "It's All About The Benjamins" by Puff Daddy featuring The Notorious B.I.G., Lil' Kim, and The Lox has been around since 1997. How can you not know this and call yourself literate?Pic related: Me when bitches don't know 'bout what Benjamin Franklin symbolizes
>>25475284Funny, yes. Genuinely, no.
>>25475438>>25475425>>25475394No, no, no, he was clearly having a sexual fantasy about Ben Franklin
>>25475036Yes the irony is heavy-handed, but the technique of joking around being cut off by something horrible is one of Shakespeare's favorite moves. So she has at least read and internalized some Shakespeare
Today I read this excerpt of the latest "Gen-Z" novel. I think it's supposed to be unironic?
>>25475523Thanks I hate it
>>25475456yeah but>haha, look at our son's big balls- OH NO THE TRAGIC CAR CRASHis objectively funny and it clearly isn't supposed to be.But it's even worse because this was an event like the 2/3rds of the book beforehand was foreshadowing and building up to as the moment his life fell apart to be how he was at the start of the book. And this isn't a very comedic book either. It's like if the Dark Knight flashed back to Bruce Wayne's parents dying except right before Joe Chill shows up Bruce is like "wow dad, you could see Zorro had a big boner in some parts of that movie!" and they all laughed right before they got shot.
>>25475523>Brown female author>Writes exclusively about how brown and female she isEvery time.
>>25475523>lol antidepressants!>lol women were never happy before social media!>lol I get to PERFORMATIVELY TALK ABOUT KISSING GIRLS (I’m a 100% heterosexual woman)Really breaking new ground
>>25475523Even as stream of conscious slop this is awful. Unless the intent was to make the reader feel confined and suicidal in a small room with a drugged up, self centered, empowered teenage girl. In which case, bang up job.
>>25475626>Why is the author describing themselves in their author introduction
>>25475019Holy shit lol
>>25475032Mohammed really was an anti-zoro psyop
>>25475390
>>25475867Doesn't make the content any less egregious.
>>25475911>>25475390Is this the female counterpart to Quan Millz?
>>25475867Hope she sees this, bro
>>25475523Very generic, to be honest. I'd expect to see this in a creative writing class. It reaches out too far with the belly metaphor only to coil back and talk about fertility right after and so on. A vague nod to the permanent stench of critical colonial theory, but not enough to actually reflect on it and what it means beyond just serving as a nod and testament to her Browninity
>>25475115t. butthurt fanfic slopper from AO3
>>25475152
>>25475523>self-absorbed brown mid-wit mildly gender-fluid female from a middle class liberal background writes about herself and her problems which aren't really problemsThe BA in Creative Writing and its consequences have been a disaster for the human race
>hey what should we call the orcs' capital?>eh just call it the orc city>and what should we call the war against the orcs>oh the orc wars>and the elvish king>eh does he really need a specific name?I still remember this got posted in response to the author giving Hideo Kojima shit for having a mad bomber character in a thick bomb disposal suit be named Fatman.
>>25475058
>>25475390Hahahahaha.>>25475911>it's realWait wtf
>>25475523>Malavika Kannan (b. 2001) is a Tamil American writer whose work appears in The Nation, The Washington Post, New York, Teen Vogue, and elsewhere. Her villain origin story is that, as a teenager in Florida, she organized for generational movements such as March for Our Lives and the Women’s March. Her YA novel All the Yellow Suns was published in 2023. She graduated from Stanford University and now moonlights as a gay socialite in Brooklyn, where she co-hosts the popular mutual aid supper club Girls Eat Girls. You can follow her on Instagram @malavika.kannan and on TikTok @literarymal.
>>25476992I wish I could make a career out of being an illiterate slut
>>25477000It takes hard work. After all, your mom is an illiterate slut but she's not a published author
>>25475022Because it's ballsy.
>>25477014The funny thing is, not only is my mother actually incredibly well-read and modestly published, but she despises men and queers in equal measure which I have to imagine really hampers her slut potential
>>25476992>her villain origin story teeheeI thoroughly detest this woman and I don’t even know her
>Thread supposed to be about bad book excerpts>It's literally just people dunking on a slightly cringey author forewardsigh
>forewardSAAR
>>25475091Who gives a fuck? It sucks.
>>25475126why the fuck are you here?
>>25477226Then provide something worse. Shouldn't be that hard.
>>25476992She radiates smugness with the force of a thousand suns.
>>25477517>My people have been cursed for 500 years to kill anyone they love and only be able to eat human hearts!>How the fuck does a population still exist when they have to eat specifically human hearts every day and nothing elseAs far as I know the closest thing to an explanation this series gives is "they get them from criminals", which literally only makes it even more nonsensical because where the fuck are you getting enough criminals to feed an entire population?
>>25475019"Back seat" written as one word is the thing that bothers me most here.
>>25477599It also annoys me alot
>>25477574It sounds like the author wanted men to be 2nd class citizens here but the setting demands each man gets it's own harem to produce enough cattle babies to feed the population
>>25477898What's weird is the whole "society of warrior women" thing literally never comes up again. Like there aren't any male wildling characters in the story but that's mostly because there's only like 6 named characters from that faction, one of them is the main character, one of them is her mom, two of them are her weird evil adoptive parents/teachers who surprisingly I don't think are ever even implied to be a gay couple, and one of them is her ancestor. Also even in that scenario that doesn't work. Imagine if your only form of viable food had a 9 month preparation process.
>>25477574Knock off amazonians with extra steps. A YA standard.
I wanna post that whole fuckass exposition dump from Age of Scorpius that was trying to be one of those stylized movie flashbacks but was done purely through text and wound up being borderline incomprehensible but I can't be fucked to find a screenshot of it.
>>25477574Is there any reason for why nightshade doesn't follow the same naming convention as the rest]?
>>25478071They're like the dark shadow evil but not really faction I guess?If that uniformity exception pisses you off you're gonna love the other curses btw:>Wildling: Kill who you love and you have to eat hearts>Sunling: Dies to sunlight>Moonling: Dies if out at sea during a full moon>Starling: Can't live past 25>Nightshade: Dies if they go outside at night>Skyling: Can't fly (they used to be able to fly)One of these fuckers got off a lot easier than the others and no, there isn't a good plot reason for it either.
>Dragons would do anything for money, even crime.
>>25478116
>>25478109>Moonling: Dies if out at sea during a full moon>Skyling: Can't fly (they used to be able to fly)Author was really running out of ideas here
>>25478134I'll give them the slightest bit of credit that at least the had the explanation of "oh yeah they got cursed in the middle of the day so like thousands of people used to flying all the time fell and died and their floating buildings had people either trapped on them or trapped outside of them" to make the Skylings one seem a little bit worse, but holy shit they couldn't have thought of anything better than "well they used to be able to fly but they can't anymore".I also have no fucking clue why the Moonling one has the full moon restriction other than to go with the moon name because if you looked at the other four you'd think it would just be "dies on contact with the ocean like One Piece characters with devil fruits" but no. Full moon only. The other 30 days of the month you're fucking fine.
>>25478171>beautiful. fucking. asshole.
>>25478171Wait can you pull up that one fucking scene where she defeats the guy by hitting him with fucking orange extract and is like "heh, I knew he was allergic to oranges because he never ordered oranges with his food!"
