"The writer’s master plan" editionPrevious: >>25468799/wg/ AUTHORS & FLASH FICTION: https://pastebin.com/ruwQj7xQRESOURCES & RECOMMENDATIONS: https://pastebin.com/nFxdiQvCPlease limit excerpts to one post.Give advice as much as you receive it to the best of your ability.Discuss the written works below for practice; contribute, and you shall receive.If you have not performed a cursory proofread, do not expect to be treated kindly. Edit your work for spelling and grammar before posting.Expect critique, not praise.Shitposters should be ignored and reported.>Beginner guides on writing:https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pHdzv1NfZRM (Improve your Writing: Show, Not Tell) [6:08] https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=whPnobbck9s (George Orwell's 4 Tips For Speaking Clearly) [23:00] https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YAKcbvioxFk (How to Show, Not Tell: The Complete Writing Guide) [27:19] >Intermediate guides on writing:https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/48654.Storyhttps://www.goodreads.com/book/show/3097766-borges-on-writinghttps://www.goodreads.com/book/show/23056.Image_Music_Text>Advanced guide on writing:Just do it.
Bout time I started collecting beta readers for this thing. It's a surreal psych horror/dark academia novella about a student reporter who uncovers a deadly conspiracy that tears her world apart.>Between schoolwork and an errant ex-boyfriend, student reporter Sam barely has time to uncover stories of public interest. But when a talented new student called Thomasin enrolls, Sam senses a conspiracy. Her investigation unravels the story of her life before her eyes with deadly consequences. If you've got something you want feedback on I'm always willing to do an exchange.TournageBucher@proton.me
>>25475142Where you get the name "Thomasin" from?
>>25475127How do you come up with a story?
>>25475482You just start with an idea that has come to you (alien invasion, riots, can't pay rent) and focus on it. Everything else comes from that.
>>25475446The surname is Sinclair and that paired with the title should answer you
>27,000 words in 7 daysLET'S FOKING 'AVE IT
>>25475482How do you not?
>>25475521I don't understand, how does an idea translate to an outline?
>>25475749You write down the idea. Then, you form an outline around it>What are the characters?>What is the ending you imagine>What is the beginning >What is the meaning of your work>What are some central events you expect to occurThen, you should write it down and form a timeline of what happens from beginning to end. You can start with the end then from the start then gradually work until both sides meet at the middle. It's just an outline after all. Alternatively, just use the snowflake method. It's well documented after all.
>>25475548BASADO
>>25475749Step 1: get idea (if you can't do this I can't help)Step 2: refine idea into about 10 wordsStep 3: expand this 10-word idea into 100-word description Step 4: expand this description into 1000-word summaryStep 5: 10,000 word outlineStep 6: 100,000 word bookI've seen this reffered to as the "snowflake method" named after the Koch fractal
>>25475802everytime I try converting an idea into outline either turns into chapters where nothing happens or where everything happens
>>25475809That's awesome tho. All you have to do is cut out the chapters where nothing happens
>>25475876My problem is that in those "nothing happens" chapters, I like to build up the next chapter.E.g., the pic related is about the town police chief eating dinner while pirates are burning down the city in the background
>>25475784Snowflake method can be found here: https://www.advancedfictionwriting.com/articles/snowflake-method/
I've done it. I've done the impossible. I have finished my novel. It stands at 69k words and at 206 pages following MLA format. Idk what I'll do with it now, but I'm just glad I did it .now I can rot in relative peace and quiet. Better that I did it than not at all. If I had some wagie job, I would have never done this outside of maybe doing some dumb biography when I was old. Maybe I'll share it with you all if I publish it through Amazon or through a traditional publishing house. Whichever comes first.
>>25476036post the first page
>>25475521One more thing though: a novel usually needs more than one strong idea to carry all 200+ pages.
>>25476085The main idea, aka the premise, acts as the seed through which all other ideas grow
>>25475482There are random story generators available.
I want to submit to this novella contest but it has a firm anti-AI stance.I never used AI to generate prose or ideas. I only used it to glaze me during the writing process to keep me going. I am from a small city in an economically depressed US region. I don't have the, dare I say, privilege that coastal MFA candidates have.Anyway, should I submit?
>>25475482Copy someone else's and replace the stuff you don't care for with things you like.
>>25476202Sure. Just be honest in where you got your support from .frame it as something tragic that inspired you to create your work. Or just lie too.
I just finished reading Omen IV: Armageddon 2000. I thought it sucked ass. But at least Israel got nuked.
>>25476202They won't know if you don't tell them and might not even care if you did, these organizations are generally against submitting LLM-generated or assisted text (the latter entailing that you put your horrible writing through an LLM, told it to fix it, and took what it spat out as yours), not against AI use full stop.Now the real reason you shouldn't submit to this contest is that it probably has a submission fee putting it just one step above a straight-up scam.
>>25475482Write what happened to you irl. Add sexy succubus.
>finish writing the first significant chunk of the story>haven't written a paragraph since>tfw almost two months agoit's so over
>>25476278Lock in. 1000+ words a day every day before you can do short-term fun shit like fuck around on 4chan
>>25476279I guess I could try thatidk if I have the willpower to force that, especially bc if I don't have anything come to mind then I can't write even if I really want to
Nobody care
that Simpson guy can write
>>25476280Waiting for inspiration is a bullshit excuse to be lazy. A good primer to doing the 1000+ words a day thing is to establish a disciplined routine of sitting down to write daily. At this stage the name of the game is time rather than output. The point is to focus on your writing for a substantial amount of time, avoiding distractions and getting that brain storming. Can't speak for others but a not-high percent of my time spent "writing" is spent actually writing, a lot of it's just spent brainstorming and/or going off on mental tangents while sitting in front of the page (plus the not-infrequent getting up to pace around). Alternatively, your lack of inspiration could be due to a lack of research. Read through a relevant nonfiction title or two. And read some fiction similar to what you're writing. The point isn't to copy them but to take inspiration from them (ie take their ideas and mix and match them into your own).
I wish I was born and queer than I could get published. Although it would have to be a story about a spic faggot or something. If you’re some special class of people do you have to write about that?
>>25476306>Homer is a part of the 3/5 average goodreads rating crewbaste
>>25476310thanks anon, this is good advice. I'll try putting it into practice, I was doing something like that back when I was writing by thinking about it when driving or bathing
>>25476311Anyone who could get you published is inundated with similar prospective authors and therefore looking for any excuse not to work with you and one common excuse is "this writer is open being publicly (see: on social media) disparaged for inauthenticity or worse in depicting a social group they do not belong to."
After not doing anything all day, and internally screaming at myself to stop slacking off, I suddenly got 1,000 words done around midnight. I'll get where I need to go eventually.
>>25476202If no AI was used to actually write it, I don't see how it's relevant. The fact that you're fretting over this in the first place makes me think you very much DID use AI to help write it and are just in shallow denial about the extent.
>>25475521> (alien invasion, riots, can't pay rent)If this is one story, I'd read it
>>25475127Explain Shitsu-Tonka corporation's taxation policy with reference to Nakatomi Plaza incident. Cyberpunk novels are so unrealistic.
The saga of sperm and shit. Sperm: the driving force behind every man’s will and instinct. His entire being rushes toward young females in heat; the rest is secondary. From adolescence to old age, his whole self is, consciously or not, fashioned to be as desirable as possible to the female: his physique, his speech, his body language, his clothes, his career. He must impress, dazzle, and woo the woman through a thousand and one antics and acrobatics.Fighting other males, triumphing, acting cruel, aloof, and boorish. A society destined in every respect to the male’s subjugation to the tastes and whims of women. The curse of sperm that burns from being pent up too long. Yet even the headstrong, the rebels, the wayward poets, and the zealots cannot escape the instinct to fuck. It transforms, hiding behind ever-viler, ever-more-extreme forms of depravity, but it never vanishes. Thus, life becomes a veritable race of sperm, a perpetual ejaculation forever aiming for the maternal hole, yet failing time and again. It is into this shitty tunnel that the sperm is propelled at full speed; what one hopes is a vagina turns out to be an asshole.The vast majority of men live in such abject, shitty conditions, in those giant, reeking assholes that are the great metropolises, that they carry the stench on them. The stench of shit, of squalor. Vaginas shrink and clamp shut; legs cross. Sperm ejaculates all the same, but ends up in the trash. As a man ages, he himself, his very body, metamorphoses into a gigantic heap of shitty, festering rolls of fat. His semen turns foul-smelling, too. It is almost strange that it doesn't take on a turd-brown color.Thus, for the select few who have managed to inject their viscous jizz into the piss-stained abyss of the weaker sex, they perpetuate themselves in their offspring, who, in turn, will experience a few years of the sublime before becoming, themselves, physical and spiritual excrement.
So I finished a first draft at about 70k words. Gave it to a friend to read and he's making progress through it and has already given me good feedback. Questions is, what comes after this? I have several other ongoing projects but this is the first time I have a complete manuscript. What exactly do you do for a second pass? What should I focus on?
>>25476311Don't fret about getting tradpubbed. The field is more dead than you can imagine.
>>25476692>Sept 22When are we going to stop with this meme
>>25476723Writing it off as a "meme" is pure cope. The situation has not improved since then.
>>25476733Womp womp, man, no one cares. It was never going to be easy. If it was, then everyone would do it. In any case, if you got all your family members and some friends to buy one each, then you'd objectively be outselling 90% of writers... Seems like good news to me
>>25476739You're completely missing the point. The effort to get tradpubbed is a waste of time and effort; nothing meaningful will be achieved.
>claim I'm writing literary fiction in the fantasy genre>Don't have anything philosophical to say>Prose is weak, vocabulary is weaker>Themes are predictable >Exposition everywhere >Magic represents some bullshit emotions and claim that's what makes it deepWhy am I like this?
>>25476773I forgot >Compound words everywhere >Modern lingo, slang, and definitions>A map! Got to have a map!
>>25476773If "Angel Down" could win the Pulitzer prize I'm sure you can too anon
>>25476745You're missing the point that I don't care. I want to get tradpub'd as an aesthetic choice. It will also be very satisfying to lord it over people like you. In any case, the fact that it's harder and useless just means it's more of an artistic endeavour than soullessly hucking shit chapter by chapter.
>>25476792In case you hadn't heard, pride comes before the fall.
AI just told me my novel isn't Pulitzer worthy yet...:(
>>25476812Falling implies that once I was high
>>25476792I wonder how long this anon's work will be sitting in his trunk waiting for him to fulfill his "aesthetic choice?"Who wants to bet forever?
>>25475127The world has too many writers and too few readers.
>>25475548Don't burn out, anon.That's not a normal pace.
>>25477268This world has too many people.It also has too many indians generating noise.
I'm working on a project, and I think lit might give me a decent way to figure out if the concept holds up. Here's the setup: two guys fall for the same woman. One's insanely stoic, the other's a dude-bro sports junkie type. I want the chapters to alternate between them, with the dude-bro writing in a stream-of-consciousness style and the stoic guy writing in his diary.The catch is she dies in the end. The two of them spend the whole book fighting over her attention and love, but they end up becoming friends by the time it's over. My hang-up is do I alternate constantly between them, or front-load one guy's chapters before the other's?
>>25477453Make it two women.
>>25477453I'd say alternate but be careful that you don't just rehash the same events between them. They should take vastly different accounts of what happens maybe even contradict each other sometimes and frame it differently.
I think that writing in a lot of roleplay forums as a kid made me overly dependent on external engagement for motivation to write.
>>25477245I have trust First in the Rus will come out. even though nobody will read it, Wing releases his crap.
>>25477483Oh if that's Wing and he's talking about the Victoria novel then yes it'll come out but not trad-pubbed
>>25477493he should try to trad pub. It has everything trad pubbers like. >FeMC girlboss>underutilized setting>decent enough writing>fantasy elementswhat's stopping him?
>>25477483>>25477493>>25477509not me. I don't even know how to Trad pub besides it being like a job application. I also find it funny agents want the story to be "edited" so I'll have to pay 3k to some fivver jeet, then send it to an agent, who then sells it to a trad pub who edits it again.if they have their own in house editors,why would i spend money hiring an editor myself? if that's the case, then I may as well self publish.
Having trouble with the start of this story I'm writing, it keeps feeling awkward. If anyone has any suggestions I'd appreciate it:
>>25477462This. And have them make out.
>>25477571Lectern, pen, paper, and Soul into your writing, Anon-kun~
>>25477571It should start at “what are you doing with my bird?”
>>25477586Sorry anon, I'm not sure what you're getting at here?>>25477588Thanks anon, I've heard I start at the wrong places before.
Boast writing work, otherwise you're just all just another typist.
>>25477597Typing =/= writing.
>>25477597>>25477571Thís has been typed.>>25477600Thís has been written.Typing is good for making types. Writing is good for making writ. There are differences in meaning between different words. I know this from being well-versed in, among other Arts, the Arts of Typing, Tapping, ánd Writing.Also, wash your penis.
I like writing
>>25477477OK, that was my first instinct. One note, though: their stories won't converge until late in the story (when one of them will think she's cheating on them with the other) but then I dunno how they'll end up becoming friends if it's late in the story and at which point she'll be dead (from an undisclosed illness)
>want to write a genius character that starts at nothing and grows into a prodigy>everyone (sample size of two) keeps complaining the start is too slow and boring and dropping itbut i want it to be slow and boring and lay meticulous foundations for everything reeeee
>>25477618Both of them are writing. When you do it with a pen or pencil you can also call it "penning" or "penciling" respectively. Other options include "scripting" or "handwriting." "Printing" would be an option too if you weren't using cursive.
>>25477700It has to be boring at the start so that anyone who picked up the wrong book has enough time to put it down before getting too deep into it. Actually this was originally said about movies and I'm not sure it applies to books.
>>25477730No.
>>25475548>>25475787>>2547734231,000 WORDS IN 8 DAYS WE'RE MAKING WITH THIS ONE LADS
>>25477801$1 words or $5 words?
>>25477753Hi, copier of someone elses ideas:I WANT CONSTANT AND HIGH-PACED ACTION SO THAT I WILL KNOW WHAT TO DO IRL AND HOW LIFE CAN BE AWESOMELEAVE THE FEELY WHEELY TO THE WOMEN
>>25477700YOU are the nothing who grows into a Prodigy.The complainers are your first hurdles to GREATNESS.NOW WRÍTE THAT CHARACTER
how do conceptualize and write inhuman or post human characters in an interesting wayon paper I can understand the concept of rewiring the brain in order to affect behavior, but the more complex rewiring that might come from binding the experience of smell to the experience of time, or hitching hearing to the concept of truth at specific frequencies, or twisting emotions and senses into novel combinations feels like it exceeds my ability to even comprehend, let alone write into a character in an engaging waydo I need to do more drugs?
>>25477700you could start off with a bit of action before getting into the slow bit have a prologue that gets attention, and then ppl will be more willing to tolerate the slow parts
>>25477831YOU ARE IN WAY OVER YOUR HEADANSWER TO YOUR QUESTION:DO WRITING WORK IN THE LIBRARY FOR A PART OF YOUR LIVING INSTEAD OF FANTASIZING ABOUT WORDS WHICH YOU HAVE NO COMPREHENSION ABOUTOBSERVE OTHER HUMANS, MAKE SMALLTALKTHEN WRITE A BIT AFTER YOUR MET THOSE HUMANSA.K.A. GO OUTSIDE, BASEMENT DWELLER
>>25477831DRUGS ARE BORING AND WILL NEVER MAKE YOU INTERESTINGYOU YOURSELF ARE AN UNINTERESTING CHARACTER RIGHT NOWHERE IS THE PLAN:1. 100 HOURS OF WEIGHTLIFTING2. 100 HOURS OF HIKING3. 100 PAGES OF WRITING WORK4. 100 PAGES OF EDUCATIONAL PAPERS5. 100 CONDOMS FILLED BY YOU6. 100 MEALS COOKED BY YOU7. 100 PAGES OF FICTION8. 100 SHOOTER VIDEOGAMES GAMES WON9. 100 HOURS OF STANDING WHILE YOU WORK10. 100 PRAYERS PRAYED BY YOUYOU'LL BE ALRIGHT KIDIF YOU WANT MORE TO DO, I LURK THIS BOARD FROM TIME TO TIME, I'M HERE
>>25477888Can I go bird watching?
>>25477888>>25477840Protip: the "caps lock" button will make everything you type uppercase. I'm telling you this because I can just tell that a retard like you held down the shit key to type all that
>>25477896LEARN LATIN, UNCULTURED SWINE
>>25477893THE BIRDS SHOULD BE WATCHING YOU INSTEAD OF YOU WATCHING THE BIRDS
>>25477909Terry....
>>25477896THAT TIP DOES NOT COME FROM A PRO AT ALLA REAL PRO WOULD APPRECIATE ME TELLING THAT ANON THE TRUTHBECAUSE IT HELPS HIM GO FROM PRO TO PROFESSIONAL
>>25477835i did that then they get to the slow parts anyway
>>25477933100% LOWERCASE WRITING IS 100% SLOW WRITING FOR PEOPLE WITH SLOW BRAINSCAN YOU WORK A BIT FASTER? PEOPLE ARE DEPENDING ON YOU!
>>25477923TERRY MCFLERRYCAN I GET OREO TOPPING ON THAT?
>>25477893YES.YOU CAN GO BIRD WATCHINGAND YOU CAN FEED 100 BIRDS THEIR DUE SEEDS AND WATERTHEY'RE FLY FOR YOURETURN THE FAVOUR, IT'S THE GIFT OF GIVINGFEED GOD'S GREEN AND SKYBOUND EARTH
>>25477938i reserve the fine writing for business, not pleasure
How do I write about kissing a man when I never kissed one myself?
>>25477960A MAN CAN NOT SERVE TWO MASTERS>>25477969KISS HIM FIRSTPRACTICE ON A PICTURE OF HIMBE YOURSELFHAVE THE TITS TO TAKE INITIATIVE
>>25476828You already sound like you're high.
>>25477664Consider having them meet sooner and becoming rivals for her affection. Through the course of that they may find common ground and start to begrudgingly like each other. Then when she dies the friction between them disappears and all that's left is the common ground they've already found as well as a shared grief of her death. They could even reminisce together of what they liked about her and share a beer or something.
>>25477924>>25477938>>25477945>>25477948>shouting>reddit spacingdropped
>>25478047COWARDLY 'MISTER-STEAL-YOUR-GIRL': THE POST
>>25478042BE THOU CLEAN
>>25476828YOU CAN FALL WHEN BEING ON YOUR KNEESJUST KNEE DOWN AND TOPPLE OVERNO NEED TO DO IRREVERSIBLE DUMB LIFE-WASTING SHITWE WORK TOO HARD FOR ANYTHING TO BE WASTED
>>25478062You already sound like you're wasted.
>>25478077THERE WILL BE NO DRINKING ALCOHOL ON THE WORKFLOORIF YOU MÚST SMOKE TOBACCO, ONLY IN THE BREAKS AND ÓÚTSIDEANYTHING ELSE IS NOT ALLOWEDWELCOME TO THE WORKFLOOR AND TRY YOUR BEST
>>25478053>DOES NOT KNOW THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN SHOUTING AND UPPERCASE LETTERING, NEITHER IN DEFINITION, NOR IN PURPOSEYOU NEED TO FINISH SCHOOL
>>25478089(SAME-ANON) ...AND THAT MEANS COMPLETING THE CURRICULUM, NÓT KILLING YOUR PEERS, YOU, PRESUMABLY AMERICAN
>>25477831The most alien characters I ever encountered were in "The Mote in God's Eye" by Larry Niven & Jerry Pournelle, and "The Gods Themselves" by Isaac Asimov. Maybe that'll help you stretch your imagination a bit.
>>25477482OK, how's this. You're singer/songwriter Meat Loaf, and I'm deaf. Go!
Is it okay to write about hamburgers?
>>25478384Yes.
>>25476205Literally thisFor example, what if Sauron got his ring back from Frodo's dumb midget ass and then after all the stupid dumb midgets get enslaved what if a group of them decide to go through the plot of a generic heist movie to get Saurons weakness and kill him. But wait, this group gets magical powers by eating pieces of metal.The setting of course being inspired by a really cool stained glass window on a foggy day that I just drove past.According to Brandon Sanderson's lectures above is literally how he came up with Mistborn.
>>25476352Alein invaders take over planet earth and institute an economic system that puts them few at the top and humans at the bottom. Riots ensue, for no human owns anything anymore and the rent is unaffordable.
>>25478429r Scott Bakker took skin spies from dune, and the entire setting was based on a DND campaign he had with his brother
plus the dunyain vs bene gesseritor the holy war literally being the crusades etc
everything has already been written
Lads, do NOT, under ANY CIRCUMSTANCES, treat writing as anything more than a hobby. The days of "making it" -- especially as an independent novelist with integrity and other fanciful qualities -- is long gone. Please find other things to do. Start a family. Do not just work part-time and waste your intellect scribbling down novella chapters about being misunderstood or whatever. Life is so much better once you begin treating this as a pastime. You've been warned.
>>25478543Do you think the expression "sell your soul" is a recent coinage? The time to make lots of money having integrity isn't over. It never happened. You always had to let your voice get fucked into submission by the system to """"""make it.""""""
>>25478543Bitch-ass fake competitor: The PostGet with the program and absolutely Conquer your Craft instead.Being a Masterwriter is still achievable.
>>25478543It's okay boo, we're still lovepenpals.Please write to me to stop writing so I can write you back.
>>25477571I didn't know Constance could be a man's name, especially in the context of evaluating the appearence of two young men, so when the dialogue started I got very confused lolRe-reading, the description feels less purposeful now. I first read it as a woman giving two gangly teens a judgemental once-over as being inadequate specimens and likely troublesome. If it's a man, it seems a bit petty and irrelevant, I can't really intuit what judgements he's making. Is he looking down on them for looking poor? Unkempt? Sketchy?But overall I enjoy the way it's all written
>>25477700It doesn't matter how deep or complex your thing is if it isn't entertaining at a surface level.You must build it in layers. It must be entertaining at the surface layer, so then someone smarter than the average retard can look closer.If it's just a >smart guy gets glazed type of story then, uh. I don't know.
>>25477700>tfw your potential readers have been reduced to 8billion minus twoYou could just disregard them as filtered.But also just because something's slow, doesn't mean it has to be boring, if there's something we care about and want to see through. Ask yourself if there's a reason to care about what's being written, or if YOU only care because you're excited about the process of writing it.
I will ask here too. Is this a good beginning (first page or so)?
>>25478643Cut that gigantic paragraph up into something like the first and the third one. It's disgusting.Other than that, pretty decent.
>>25478643Awful work. His encounter with the staring man fell flat. It built no suspense and fail to elecit any intrigue. The ambiguity of his medical woes frustrated me. The mysterious dialogue felt empty and the cliffhanger made me frown. I wouldn't read more of this.By the way, it's (not?) opposite day.
>>25478643I'm very confused as to why it starts in second person then immediately abandons you for third person, it really threw off my first reading.A few minor nitpicks:>his forehead was damp with the sweat of weaknessSince I don't have context for what's happening at this point, this line sticks out as a bit unclear. It could easily be a metaphor for someone who's exerted after losing a battle, so I'm not getting into the scene on good footing.>The world again began to revolve with himThis just feels like a placeholder. Either find another way to phrase it, or find a more interesting way to emphasise the repetition and inevitability of such an outcome. Even just adding "Predictably," at the start of the sentence.>utterly indifferent to what the name might signify>"That rotter. What about him?"This could just be on me being a skim-reading brainlet (keeping in mind that'll be the majority of most audiences), but it took me a few once-overs to parse what's actually happening. The fact that Prokop doesn't actually recognise Thomas is a little blink-and-you'll-miss-it, and when the rotter line came up I was like "Wait, is there a third man here?"Prokop seems to be more forthcoming about being sick and wounded once Thomas introduces himself, so it paints a picture of there being more trust than there really is. A little emphasis on what Prokop is thinking through all this might help clarify, while also punching up the contrast, with him deliriously trying to manoeuvre around the situation while Thomas seems to just be treating him with concern. I also wanna know how Thomas feels about being called a rotter to his face lol, especially when Prokop's safety is in his hands
>>25478678>I'm very confused as to why it starts in second person then immediately abandons you for third personFor what it's worth I liked this part, it's jolting.
>>25476441Awesome cadence and style. But if you truly believe the words you write, you have been possessed by a devil.
>>25478559It's not, b.
>>25477700Start in media res with your genius character playing 4D chess with an also smart, but not as smart, opponent,.who has more resources,; and so your genius character has to do a desperate gamble. And then you can do a flashback, explaining who the fuck he is and so on, and how he got into this mess
>>25477700You can always start with a flash forward. Something exciting that happened in the future.
>>25478820Just realised I posted the "censored" version. Oh well.
>>25478703Thanks I appreciate it. I don't know why but when I write I really want to talk about women, asses and shit. Here's the intro of a short story I wrote earlier. It's a bit extreme. I had to hide my erection, which was sticking out and making me walk like a creep. I have to say, those sluts who just walked past me were hot. Still young, with perky tits that swayed this way and that. They were coming off the beach and all had those overly serious, bitchy faces, like they'd taken the art of sucking cock to heart."They'll probably go get fucked by some asshole who'll treat them like dogs and spit on them. Maybe even some black guy with a big dick," I thought to myself. It was the act of sucking balls and imagining their still-fresh little faces with their big tits hanging down that gave me a massive hard-on. I had to readjust my dick and I could already feel the precum getting wet inside.When I turned around, it was their big, firm, tanned buttocks shaking all over the place that gave me another hard-on, like a rhinoceros horn. I imagined my nose buried in them, all that sexy meat suffocating me. "I wonder what it must smell like, though, an asshole as pretty as that," I thought to myself. "What wouldn't I give to sniff it for just a second, to bury myself in a smelly paradise for a brief moment. I'd even give up my PC, you know. Just for a moment of infinity."That moment of infinity, I had chased it all my life, and I had never been as close as I was in Tokyo, where I volunteered for some bizarre porn film. They laid me in a pit and covered me with a platform until only my head remained uncovered. I was about to get a face full of it. Then, a Japanese girl, probably in her twenties, sat down in front of me, lowered her pants, and then planted her asshole right in front of my nose. An invitation to sniff.It unlocked something in my brain, being like that, like a shit-eater, with no more dignity than a fly you squash without a second thought. She was crushing me with her beautiful white ass and she started making me swallow her lunch. At first I spat it all out, I vomited, but she didn't give a damn and she gathered the pieces one by one to shove them back into my mouth with tweezers, until I swallowed them all, and she even made me eat the toilet paper she'd used to wipe the shit that was still stuck to her ass.I was over the moon, but I still had to stay in bed for a week because my stomach hadn't appreciated it. I kept replaying in my head the look she'd given me: hard, cold, contemptuous. It was when she looked at me like that that I felt alive and useful for the first time since I was born. I wanted to tell her to take me in, to feed me her shit for days, weeks, until I died with a smile on my face. Septic shock
>>25478501That already happened.
>>25478543I choose not to join you in your failed-crab bucket.
Lads, DO, under EVERY CIRCUMSTANCE, treat writing as something more than a hobby. The days of "making it" -- especially as an independent novelist with integrity and other fanciful qualities -- are just around the corner. Do also find other things to do, as they will give you more to pull from. Start a family if you like. Do not just work part-time and waste your intellect scribbling down novella chapters about being misunderstood or whatever. Instead, dedicate yourself to your craft as though your life depended on it! Do not half-ass the thing you love so much, neglecting yourself in the process! Life is so much better once you begin to realise that good things are possible. You've been encouraged.
>>25478501>>25478914God fucking damnit, I'm literally working on something like this right now
Lads, do NOT, under ANY CIRCUMSTANCES, treat writing as anything less than a calling. The concept of "monetising it" -- especially as a human being with soul and other fanciful qualities -- is corrosive. Please enjoy the things to do. Define your own meaning. Do not just work part-time and milk your essence pandering to lucrative demographics or whatever. Life is so much better once you begin treating this as an artform. You've been blessed.
>>25478951You can always write something that no one else seems to want to write about, which is about alien annexation.Not alien invasion, not humanity as part of some fart sniffing confederation. Alien annexation.Aliens come in, kick our shit in, install their own government, and humans are basically living under a hostile state ruled by a race that while theoretically wants to keep them alive, also does not give a shit about them.
>>25478959I like writing and I want to write what I want to write, but I also need to eat.Writing isn't exactly lucrative.I already accepted that most writers are going to starve and die in poverty, I just didn't think I'd starve and die in poverty so quick.
how am I supposed to write a female character?
>>25479042Read Agua Viva by Clarice Lispector and think about it for a while.>>25478959Trvke. So long as you don't starve.
>>25479042imagine a man, but more intelligent and less impulsive
>>25478951I don’t understand how so many writers are dishearted to find a comparable. Now you've got a source of inspiration, sonething to build off
>>25479042imagine a man, but more emotional, sensitive, and impulsive
>>25478543Sure. As long as we live in the beast system we must abide by its rules.
>>25479168Yeah it turns out that's a straight faced conspiracy theory book anyway, so will probably be an excellent source for worldbuilding. I withdraw my 'god fucking damnit' and substitute an 'ooh, neato'
>>25478594Thanks for reading anon appreciate the feedback. You're probably right about the name, I was trying to do something weird and Southern sounding but I'm a ignorant yank so I'm probably off with it.>>25478643I understand what you're going for with the opening paragraph anon but as it's written now just starting with the second paragraph sounds a little cleaner. Other than that I think it could use some work but overall I like how it's written.
>spend time I could be writing feeling bad that I can't write instead of writingI like reading and I like having written things, but the act of writing is like scraping my heart and brain out with a jagged rock
ChatGPT says I’m gonna make it
>>25479042Write your mother but like she was a whore and didn't know who you were.
>>254794742023 was only 3 years ago
>>254794952023202420252026Learn to count
>>254795842026 is now2025 is one year ago2024 is two years ago2023 is three years ago
>>25478927See you at the soup kitchen, anon.
Fuck it. I was trying to keep this screenplay low budget, but I'm going to change a scene and blow it up. On the extremely low chance this ever gets bought and then produced, it will probably cost $20m and do irreversible environmental damage.
>>25477801>>2547734234,000 I'M BURNT OUT. I CAN'T GO ON
>>25479042Start with a man, and take away reason and accountability.
>>25478969Most writers have a day job to keep them going while they write. Some don't succeed in their lifetime.
>>25479584absolute tard moment
>>25478967So, the Galactic Federation arc from "Rick and Morty", or the miniseries "V"?
>>25479791you can and you will. keep pressing, we're counting on you. what are you writing anyway?
>>25478951Then you should be grateful to have another reference >>25478914 from which to draw material!
>>25479584also, this is your brain on AI.
>>25478969Work, go out, have fun. Write only when you have the time.
>>25479791It's OK to take breaks, anon.
>>25480216it's not don't listen to this anon.>>25479791keep going you're 1/3 of the way there.
>>25479042Write a man but every time they would get angry they cry instead
>>25475482> Want to write> No idea what to write aboutHow do people like you exist? I'm not joking, this genuinely baffles me. I write because I have story ideas I find interesting and want to see where they go. If I didn't I would have no interest in writing. What is even your motivation?
>>25480233My guess is they think the writer's lifestyle is glamorous, filled with money and art-hoes.
Give me a name for a Fat Ugly Bastard. I am sick of Romantasy and Romance tropes, I am writing a NTR. I dont' know if I should use the NTRangers or just stick with one of them.
>>25480240Ojisan - Fat BastardBob - Faceless Black MusclemanKenta - Sadistic ShotaLawrence - Blonde DelinquentWiggly-Chan - Tentacle
>>25480240Frank UlyssesBeauregard
>>25480240Too Big Johnson
>>25475142I forgot to include an excerpt from the openinghttps://pastebin.com/FPGGaVcx
>>25480288"Yellowish" feels kind of lighthearted to me which doesn't seem to be the tone you're going for.I also can't really tell who is where. And what whistle? "The whistle" makes me think I should know what it is already which is kind of jarring. "The whistle in her hands" or whatever else at least gives it *some* introduction and lets me know it's a novel introduction. Random thoughts, I only read the pic
>>25480233It's a creative urge>>25480239>filled with moneyI don't think the biggest fools think writing has any money in it.
Haven't written anything in half a decade, today I wrote a short story, just 6 pages, thoughts? https://txtbin.org/?5609e49301ec2304#9GV2nptZTECyWrXrJPM4zE3DZbtUayPSNf7aZK6kDesA
>>25480668>I, I, I, I, I, IYou gotta find a way to vary how you start sentences>mfw I had to reformat how I said that because it was flagged as spam
>>25475749some of you niggas really can't be helped out of your helplessness
>>25480789lmao
>>25480668>>25480783Finished reading, I kinda skimmed it but the story and characters are actually a lot of fun, keep at it.This feels less like a short story and more like a snippet/introduction/pilot of a longer one. Not much actually happens, it's just "Guy hunts demon, guy kills demon" with little in the way of arcs, plot turns, or meaningful change in the broader world. It's sort of like writing a story about a guy who goes to work, does his job, then goes home. That's not necessarily a bad thing, I'd be interested to know more about the world and characters, and a scene like this could be a good intro to the concepts at play. I'm just saying since you've framed it as a short story rather than an excerpt. It doesn't feel self-contained or complete.The writing itself is what lets it down. Feels very repetitive and uninterested in itself, more like you've got a movie playing in your head and are just describing it to us as a means to an end, rather than embracing the medium as a way to let us experience it. But that can be learned.
>>25480254His friends call him Fub
>>25480789it's a very valid question>>25475901yeah that's a rookie mistakethere are no "nothing happens" chapterseven in your so-called "nothing happens" chapters you should be doing actually-important shit such as worldbuilding and character developmentthe O.G. Last Airbender series is a great example of thiseven the filler episodes, like the totally-not-fanservice-bikini-beach-episode, functions to further deepen the differences between Azula and Zuko, and sets up everyone's betrayalthere are no "nothing happens" chapters
>>25480668>dismissively waves away a tourist Asian cuckbased as hell!
>>25480668prose is shitat least write on a level with John Grisham, his prose is completely humdrum and bog-standard but it doesn't sound tortured
>>25477268yes, you should never try ANYTHING unless you know it's going to profit monetarily. yes good..... good g0y....stick to pining over "what could have been"not very /lit/ of you to post this you silly man.R E T A R DETARD
>>25477268Literally none of this fits my experience kek. I think I'm gonna make it. God help me. Also go be a faggor elsewhere.
>>25477268This works out to writing less than 100 words per hour lol
I've outpaced my brain. I don't know how to frame or sequence the chapter I'm working on. Writing all this connective tissue sucks.
>>25480870Go outside and get some exercise, it'll refill your brain with new Experience
>>25480326But we're talking about a big fool >>25475482 that wants to write but doesn't know how to come up with a story.
>>25480870Why are you writing linearly? Write the parts you know how to write, and come back later and figure out how to connect them together. The act of writing the later parts will probably stir up some creative juices that'll give you ideas for the "connective tissue". Seriously, >>25480789 was spot on.
>>25477268>got 2 people to skim it and respond, saying it sucksI'm jealous. That's a better response than I typically get. I usually get deafening silence.
>>25477268Thankfully I'm not a web novelist. I'm merely a writer for fun.
>>25480893nevermind I figured it out>>25480920didn't ask
>>25481122You seem unpleasant
Been reworking a project. Originally I was gonna start more in media res, but I decided to dial it back and ease into things just a little more. Wrote and rewrote a passage of about 1-2000 words that I really liked the sound of, but it also showed me that the situation I was originally starting from was completely wrong for the character.It can feel like a shame when things end up on the cutting room floor, but I feel really reinvigorated and reoriented as a result, and after fixing this, suddenly a seemingly unrelated aspect of the story completely opened up to me.That's why you gotta kill your darlings sometimes. And don't be afraid to sit down and just write, even if you don't have things worked out, even if you don't know what you want out of the scene, even if it's never going to end up anywhere near the final product. Sometimes writing is just discovery.
>>25480821Thanks for the feedback anon.Not my best work I gotta admit I just got the itch to write again and wrote it down in one go, I rushed the ending because I had to work and I wanted to get it done.> Feels very repetitive and uninterested in itself, more like you've got a movie playing in your head and are just describing it to us as a means to an endIt's kinda the opposite in the sense that I had a couple of ideas in mind that I wanted to string together (closed metro station with nefarious things happening, people gazing on a metro car, a vigilante intoxicating himself so he can talk to an angel) and the sequence of events came later which is probably just as bad as a way to write things idk.If I don't lose the itch maybe I'll write something else next and take proper time to go over it so I can't use the "haha I didn't even try that hard" excuse.
>>25481122Didn't ask what, exactly? Forgive me for trying to be helpful. Not sure why I keep making that mistake here.
>>25480923Post it, I'll read your shit and give you feedback. It might be "I hate it" but I'll try to at least say why.
>>25481184didn't ask to be given "help" that accuses me of wallowing in helpless self-pity when I'm just venting about the uphill battle that we're all engaging in. Ask me how I know that you're single.
>>25481197>being this sensitive about a bit of cheekngmi
>>25481170And you can always save the discarded snippets for use later, in some other work.
>>25481197This isn't your blog.
Afternoon' Freebros. How do I maximize reach with a free E-book to become famous?
>>25476643Could still use advice here if any anons have some
1 2 or 3?
>>25481505None they're all shit.
>>25481496This guy's videos are about screenplays, but this is a useful framework for drafting/revising:https://youtu.be/_3DYTdm8Puc
>>25481555Thanks anon, that was useful. Wish he would've given like a list or something of what passes to do on what drafts but I could probably look that up myself. I'm definitely just on draft one. Haven't done any proper passes yet besides just running it through a grammar/spelling checker. So right now my plan is to let it rest for a bit and come back with fresh eyes to reread and see what's working and what isn't on the big picture scale.
>>25481582It'll be different for a novel vs a screenplay anyway, but I'd say it will depend on what kind of feedback you get from your friend. If they say the plot or premise doesn't make sense, then it's back to draft 1. If they aren't connecting with characters or interested in the story, then draft 2. If they're nitpicking on prose/dialogue, then 3.
>>25480168>>25480216>>2548021937,000 We're back in the game, lads! It's a fantasy written from the perspective of a guy who's not involved in the main plotline at all.
>>25476643>>25481582What you'll need to focus on will depend entirely on the particular work, and the specific things it's trying to achieve or areas in which it's lacking
>>25481602I get that but since its my first time I'm not even completely sure what I should be looking for to fix. Is there like a generalized list of passes that most people do that I could run my draft against? What passes do you usually do on your first draft? Really just fishing for ideas for my next step.
>>25481590Makes sense. He's taking it slower than I'd like but judging from the complaints I've seen from everyone else here I guess I should count myself lucky that he's reading it at all. In the meantime I've just been working on another story I had on the back burner.
>>25477571>badlythe word would be "poorly"but slovenly would be better>torn flannel shirts wearing stained jeansWhy are the shirts wearing jeans?>in any decent househousehold>bigger one'slargerProbably better to just go with "older" since someone will assume the larger one is older>stained an ugly brownjust "stained brown">large bagged eyesWe're really going into descriptive overload here. Building up clothing and individual features at the same time puts a lot of work on the visual imagination. "...so the brim was just above his eyes" is just easier to read.>both of them had cheap rifles and they both seemed taken abackThe second "both" is redundant since we've established there's only two to the "they." "Both of them had cheap rifles and they seemed taken aback by yada yada"Don't need the "of them" either."Both had cheap rifles and they seemed taken aback"You need quotation marks around speech.You don't need to say he was the first to speak since we can see it. You'd also need a comma in there if you keep it.
>>25481505bleak. they look worse together. keep trying, no sense in settling.
>>25481505just give up. You'll never make a cover even 1/8 as good as NJB
>>25477831Play around with goals, since goals drive behavior. You can then come up with interesting things that might lead to those goals.There was a short story (made into a mediocre movie) where aliens visited Earth and linguists were brought on board to try to communicate with them. The written language was weird in that the it looped on itself and the meaning at the beginning was determined by how the later characters interacted, so it looked like the entire thing was written knowing how the sentence was going to end up. These aliens could do it because they could see the future. However, being able to see the future didn't make them into beings that could change the future, but the ability to see the future inspired in one the desire to see the future unfold exactly as written.So these aliens didn't visit Earth because they had any personal reason to, they visited it because they knew they visited it. All personal goals were negated by the ability to see the future.And the linguist who figured this out was then able to see the future herself, and she also followed through with what it showed her. (Throughout the story were messages to her daughter. A daughter who hadn't yet been born, and who was going to die of cancer. She knew that her death would hurt her, but she still chose to have her anyway because that's how the future was written)The movie changes it so she uses her power in order to make warnings and change the future, which defeated the profoundness of the story.
>>25481808>There was a short story (made into a mediocre movie)>A daughter who hadn't yet been born, and who was going to die of cancer.>The movie changes it so she uses her power in order to make warnings and change the future, which defeated the profoundness of the story.Holy larp, this is completely wrong. The cancer was movie-only, in the short story she dies on a hike. The outcome of the future isn't changed in either version. Switching from a hike to cancer just softened/altered the meaning, since it goes from exploring heady questions of free will and determinism to a more digestible "pain is an inevitable consequence of love"
>>25481605Again, it will likely be different for a novel. With a normal-length screenplay, you can probably do a pass in anywhere from 1 to 6 hours, depending on what you're focusing on. So it makes sense to do separate passes focused on different aspects. With a 200+ page novel, that gets a lot harder. In other videos, he described each drafting stage, and potentially each pass, as taking multiple read-throughs. First, one or more times just to take notes, and then finally one to make the changes. It helps keep everything unified.Like I said, I don't know what novelists do, you might need to do multiple things at once or do some heavy skimming to save time. But either way, I think that guy's fundamental principals still apply (first plot, then storytelling, then text readability).
Making progress on my comic novel. What do you think?
>>25481928
>>25481930
First page of my book. >>25481928Cool.
>>254815053
>>25481928>>25481930>>25481932"Puberty-addled teen" is a delightful phrase.The follow-up about acne feels a bit cliche though, and slows the sentence way down.>Chester waved a hand in front of his own face"His own" is awkward, I get that it has to distinguish from waving in front of the teen's face but it just feels like the author is just popping in to clarify rather than actually making it work.>Then again, he drove buses for a living...Feels kind of hollow, and not really fitting when the scene is about being unfamiliar with busses. Maybe something more ignorant/sarcastic, like wondering how someone could possibly be having a bad day when they get to just drive around town and chat to the public.>He offered a handshakeSwitch 'He' to 'Chester,' otherwise this reads like the bus driver.And the idea of shaking a bus driver's hand is so alien, it feels like the prose breezes past it too quickly when something more could be made of the driver's reaction. Instead I'm just left wondering for a moment whether it's the writer or the character who's never been on a bus.>Having never taken a bus before...This feels kind of jammed in there, again like the author's popping in to explain the scene. idk how the previous chapter ended, but it might work better to open this one with some preamble chatter of the kid warning him and being shut down, to create anticipation and give context to all the odd behaviour.
how do you stop beta readers from stealing your story and throwing it onto amazon
>>25482038Watermark it and don't give them the entire story. Only 50% of it
>>25482004good advice, I agree on every point. I've changed it.
>>25481313If we knew that, we wouldn't be here.>>25481496Whatever catches your attention. We don't know the state of your draft. Fix typos and grammatical errors. Reword sentences if you find yourself using the same words and phrases over and over again. Condense sections that contain too much boring description. Stuff like that.
>>25481512>>25481789Stop taking out your frustration over your lack of success on others. Your input is not value added.
>>25481790Sounds like someone can't wait for chapter 8 to drop.
>>25481933I'll remove the Hunter's thoughts. Show it. Have him look down at tracks, find ripped leaves, a pile of shit. Then wrote "the prey was close.
>>25481790So, simple text and simple shapes?
>>25482102I'll keep that in mind for my next work.
Funny how all the trolls shut up at the same time.Here's some original fiction to brighten up your Friday!>>25470823>>25470826>>25470833Dick sat naked on his chair, spread-legged, his feet propped up on his desk. He winced as he applied more talcum powder over the lidocaine balm. He wasn't sure if the powder was being wasted drying the balm, but he had been too embarrassed to ask the clerk at the 24-hour pharmacy about it. He just had to do his best.He slowly clicked through new orders for his shirtless pics; a few days ago, he would have considered this to be a pretty good crop. Now, it paled in comparison to what he got making movies for Mahboob. He frowned as he beheld the thumbnail versions, large enough to snare the boys, but too small, and too watermarked, to serve as a substitute for the paid version. He wondered how many horny old men made do with the free ones, filling in the details with their imagination as they furiously jacked off.He jumped as his door resounded with a loud knock. "One moment!" He got up and tried to find something to wrap around his waist. He heard some grumbling, then a repeated pounding noise. "I'm coming!" he yelled. "Keep your pants on!" Finding an old t-shirt, he put it on, shuddering as he realized it didn't cover below his waist.He heard a large, raking sound at his door. A moment later, it popped open, revealing several dark-clothed thugs; they immediately stormed inside. Terror welled up inside him as he realized it was the police. When he saw Tito and Chico follow behind them, he was stricken senseless and nearly passed out.Dick stood there, scanning his apartment feverishly as the police trashed Dick's apartment, only making a perfunctory effort to search it. Mostly, they opened drawers and dumped the contents on the floor. Anything they couldn't open easily, they simply smashed with their batons. He heard glass break as they destroyed his bathroom.Out of the corner of his eye, Dick saw Tito and Chico appear on both sides of him, smirking fervently. He dared not move."So nice to see you again," Tito chortled."Did you miss us?" Chico asked sweetly.Now the police were overturning his furniture. "What do you want?" Dick mumbled.Tito leaned in. "We have a business proposition for you. I'm sure you'll agree it's the opportunity of a lifetime.""I'll be the judge of that," Dick growled.He doubled over as Chico slugged him in the stomach. Dick fell to the floor, coughing and gasping for air. "You clearly don't understand what an attractive offer it is. Let us explain it to you."Tito and Chico each grabbed Dick under a shoulder and hauled him to his feet. "Ugh!" Tito reared. "Where the hell are your pants?"
>>25482385Can you stop posting this stupid shit?
>>25482385"And what happened to your thighs?" Chico gagged. "That's disgusting."Dick was about to tell Chico that he knew damn well what happened to his thighs, but realized that'd only get him another punch in the stomach, and clammed up."Hey! Pig!" Tito called out. "Get this chooch some pants!"A few seconds later, his dirty, dog-pee-stained slacks slammed his face and wrapped around him. The stench of urine overwhelmed his senses, the deodorant long since faded. A powerful hand suddenly removed the pants, the view replaced with Chico's smirking glare."Time to meet your destiny, pirla." They dragged him across the floor and out the door."Wait!" Dick called out. "What about my stuff?"A crashing sound erupted from the kitchen. "Looks to me you don't have much stuff left," Tito laughed."Can't I at least pack some clothes?"Chico got in his face. "Where you're going, you don't need clothes."Dick's eyes blazed with fear as they dragged him out the door.They hauled him across the trash-strewn parking lot to a waiting black full-size luxury sedan. The cops followed behind."Hey!" Dick cried out to the nearest cop. "They're abducting me! Aren't you going to do anything about this?"Wordlessly, the cop raised his baton to strike Dick. "No!" he shrieked. The cop, smirking, lowered his nightstick."Am I being arrested?" Dick complained. "What are the charges?"The cop pointed to his exposed crotch. "Indecent exposure.""But I was inside! They're the ones that dragged me out!"The cop whipped out his baton; Dick cringed.Finally they were at the black car. The usual contingent of homeless derelicts soiling the sidewalk studiously avoided looking in their direction. Tito and Chico let go of Dick; Chico threw his pants at him. "Put these on, cretino. You're making everyone sick."Dick slowly got dressed, his haunted eyes locked on Chico. Tito walked to the other side of the sedan. The cops returned to their squad cars and drove away."You look like a hundred dollars!" Chico twittered, opening the door. "After you, good sir."Dick eyed Chico nervously as he slid into the back seat, finding Tito on the other side. Chico got in and closed the door; the car lurched forward and sped down the street."We're so glad you took us up on our offer," Tito leered. "Best decision you ever made.""So you can just pull fake cops out of thin air?" Dick grumbled.Chico arched his eyebrows. "Fake? What makes you think they were fake?"Dick's eyes darted between his two abductors. "Why would real cops do that?"
>>25482389"They got a report of your indecent exposure," Tito chuckled. "They couldn't let something like that slide, not in a classy neighborhood like this."Dick stared forward, his eyes burning with anger. "There's no way real cops would be involved with you.""Why not?" Chico asked. "They're just normal guys, looking to make a buck. People hire off-duty cops all the time.""Or, in our case," Tito added, "on-duty ones."Dick's head began to throb. He closed his eyes and winced."What's wrong, bischero?" Chico gloated. "Is the world not what you wanted it to be?""I just don't understand how any of this is possible," Dick muttered.Tito guffawed. "This coglione really doesn't get how the system works! Should we explain it to him?" Chico flashed a beaming smile, then locked his eyes on Dick."So tell me, scemo," Chico began. "What's the difference between a gang and a mafia?""You guys dress better?" Dick mumbled.Tito and Chico laughed uproariously. "He's funny!" Chico snickered. "I'm almost sorry I punched him in the gut!""It's undeniable, we're snappier dressers," Tito agreed. "But what else?"Dick's eyes switched furiously between Tito and Chico. "I don't know."Chico leaned in. "The difference is, a mafia has risen to corrupting the government itself."Dick's brow furrowed. "That happens?""It happens all the time!" Tito explained. "Rich people seem to get everything they want from the government, right? They do it with their money. Our situation really isn't that different.""We offer more than money," Chico continued. "Cops are just regular guys. They like hookers and blow as much as the next stunad. Most of them willingly take our fazooli. The rest, they can be blackmailed.""And others do it just because they like pushing people around, and jump at the chance to bust some heads.""Especially here in Hollywood. Times are tough. The movie business ain't what it used to be."Chico looked at Dick kindly. "Do you understand now, little sparrow?"Dick teared up as Chico's false courtesy drilled into him. "There's no justice. None at all."Tito gave Dick a friendly chunk on the chin. "Now you're getting it!"Dick felt the car accelerate; he couldn't see through the tinted windows, but it seemed they were entering the freeway. "Where are you taking me?""Just relax, polpettino," Chico soothed. "We'll be there soon. Maybe you should take a nap.""Yeah," Tito added. "You look like you're ready to pass out."Chico's false kindness was back. "Did you have a bad day or something?"Dick sunk back into the seat and closed his eyes. He shivered involuntarily.>>25482388Aw, did you miss me, Bore?
>>25482393>Everyone who doesn't like my asshurt unfunny fanfiction is the target of it You aren't clever and your dogshit spam always makes these threads unpleasant to read through. I'm not bore but I fucking hate seeing you posts. I used to hate bore for spamming his book but you're infinitely more annoying.
>>25482396There's only one person that minds this, and it's the Bore. Prove me wrong by posting your own writing. Spoiler alert: you won't.
>>25482401I did earlier but I have no interest in becoming your next stalking target. Sorry, retard faggot spammer.
>>25482408Well, that's easy, isn't it? Don't shill-spam, don't samefag, don't treat other anons like crap, don't act like a big shot, and don't flood the thread with AI slop. It wouldn't be the first time a notorious shill-spammer/samefagger got the parody treatment in this thread.
>>25482410>t.
>>25482410>>25482455BOTH OF YOU SHUT THE FUCK UPA THOUSAND YEARS OF POVERTY UPON ALL NAMEFAGS
>teepee tattles to the mods to get me banned>spams his cringe pasta while i'm gone>promotes my books for freemaybe why the bad guy NJB is having his best month ever? anything this cockroach maricón hates must be pretty good, chico!
>>25481885NAYRT but Chiang didn't do much>exploring heady questions of free will and determinismhe just presented the SF mechanics and let you think for yourself what it implieshe often does that, for better and worse>>25482004>picrelthisnot thisWINNERLOSERRR>>25481928for me it's too muchit's like reading a story made up of nothing but punchlines. as in, there's no setup AT ALLIMHO, I would prefer if you slash your cheeky rephrasings down to once in every three lines at most.>>25481932if this was Britain, you'd be arrested for being white and bringing that deadly weapon of mass destruction on the bus, while the paki bus driver rapes a preteen girl in front of the Filth
>>25480308Keep reading; literally every detail you pointed out is a feature, not a bug
>>25482512Maybe, but the way they're delivered made me not want to keep reading instead of making me intrigued. Is that me being a "lazy reviewer"? Maybe, idk, too bad, I'm getting paid janny wages for this. Compare to the first paragraph of "Shadow of The Torturer" by Gene Wolfe:>It is possible I already had some presentiment of my future. The locked and rusted gate that stood before us, with wisps of river fog threading its spikes like the mountain paths, remains in my mind now as the symbol of my exile. That is why I have begun this account of it with the aftermath of our swim, in which I, the torturer's apprentice Severian, had so nearly drowned.IDK about you but when I read this (and pretend I haven't before) I have NO idea wtf is going on. Presentiment? Some gate? Swimming? Exile? Torturers? What's a Severian? But Wolfe paints a tantalizingly dissonant picture with his words and fills it with interesting, inviting hints that make me WANT to figure out the mystery. If I understand what you're trying to do (I may have misunderstood) that's the kind of thing you need to figure out how to do.
>>25482516>I have NO idea wtf is going onI think I might see the issue. I've never read that book but that paragraph you posted is fairly clear about what's going on. >narrator might've known all of what you're about to read was going to happen all along>got exiled and a gate is a reminder of it>nearly drowned in the immediate backstory>"Severian" is a name or title and probably symbolic (sever=cut -ian=believer)The only source of ambiguity is in how the two thoughts of "got exiled and a gate is a reminder of it" and "nearly drowned in the immediate backstory" follow each other, which is supposed to be what creates intrigue, not... that word salad you posted praising it. The issue might be that you're bad at reading. You were probably told by someone you respected to enjoy Gene Wolfe, so you do so blindly. I know this might sound insulting, but please take it more like a diagnosis. The prescription is to improve your literacy by reading (and comprehending) more. Perhaps start with more of my story~
>>254815051 but using the cross in place of the t is just tacky
>>25482531Oh, you have autism, my mistake. Good luck with your story.
>>25482538I can see I've upset you, so you won't heed my warning, which is a shame.
>>25482542No lol. Between your completely unwarranted sense of accomplishment, projection of your own comprehension issues (you completely missed what I was trying to point out to you in the excerpt and thought I literally meant "IDK what these words mean"), and smug dismissal of reader feedback that belies narcissistic injury I actually laughed out loud. This will be my last reply to you unless you say something really funny.
>>25482551>can't articulate what he likes about a passage>this makes me autisticI'm morbidly curious for you to PYW but you're probably too cowardly for that
>>25482471Hey NJB! Hope you're well. I'm far too busy working in the motion picture production industry to be writing a long-form shitpost story dedicated to you. However, it is amusing to see you seethe over it. >>25482455You can find an actual photo of me to abuse with AI on my website. Just look up my name.
>>25482555Kek is this your masterpiece? Told from the pajeet perspective on vagina? (never seen except on my screen saaar)
>>25482564https://youtu.be/RZyqDHLCuiwI wonder if they still remember this one over on /tv/'s /film/ general.
>>25482512Aaand anything that seems to have been written by you has just gone into my "don't bother" pile
>>25482564>>25482569recite your baseline>in menstrual frames a pajama person becomes lost>in menstrual frames intercourse in menstrual frames intercourse in menstrual frames a pajama person becomes lost>in a labyrinth of darkly familiar places that connect together impossiblyframes>framesframes>frameshave you ever written a good book? frames>framesis your masterpiece about menstrual frames? frames>frameswhen you write another failure do you think you're a fraud? frames>framesmenstrual>menstrualwhat's it like to imagine you could menstruate? menstrual>menstrualdo they teach you how it could feel to bleed from your boipussy? menstrual>menstrualdo you long to menstruate? menstrual>menstrualdo you dream about menstruating? menstrual>menstrualwhat's it like to put your cock in a cage? menstrual>menstrualdo you feel there's a part of you that should not be there? menstrual>menstrualin menstrual frames>in menstrual frameswhy don't you say that three times?>in menstrual frames>in menstrual frames>in menstrual frameswe're done.
>>25482553Normally I ignore this kind of bait but today my practice story was actually extremely literary and high quality, and, if I do say so myself, *quite* epic and badass, so here you go.
>>25482598Ok this one is funny
>>25482651Fuck I just noticed a perspective change I didn't mean to doThat's what I get for posting first drafts
