Your Mums Diary Desu

>>25493118
Madame Bovary and Anna Karenina.

>>25493118
>>25493131
Yeah those two.

>>25493118
The End of the Affair.

The Good Soldier

>>25493118
Rabbit Angstrom series

>>25493118
The Awakening by Kate Chopin

>>25494705
This.

>>25493118
Why would you want to read about that?

>>25493118
I am still in awe at how IESUA BAR IUSUF effortlessly Holymogged those seething righteouslet stonecels. Spiked their cortisol so high with just his passive ChiRho Aura that they just ran away tails-between-their-legs. Pharisissies and Saducissies could never

>>25493118
This is something like 25% of all books. Drama = conflict, and adultry is one of the basic sources of conflict.


A dozen obvious candidates (not all novels, but novels are not the be-all and end-all of literature):

Flaubert, ‘Madame Bovary’
Tolstoy, ‘Anna Karenina’
Shakespeare, ‘Othello’ [suspected]
Hawthorne, ‘The Scarlet Letter’
Lawrence, ‘Lady Chatterley’s Lover’
Pasternak, ‘Dr. Zhivago’
Ford, ‘The Good Soldier’
Durrell, ‘The Alexandria Quartet’
Malory, ‘Morte D’Arthur’
Roth, ‘Deception’
Marquez, ‘100 Years of Solitude’
Pinter, ‘Betrayal’


Plenty of writers talk about it a lot:

Iris Murdoch [80% of her stuff is about adultery]
Alice Munro [70%, maybe]
John Updike
Evelyn Waugh
Graham Greene


It’s an important theme in hundreds of other works, great and small, e.g.

Proust, ‘Remembrance Of Things Past’
Fitzgerald, ‘Tender Is The Night’
Joyce, ‘Ulysses’
Carver, several stories, e.g. ‘Gazebo’
Ondaatje, ‘The English Patient’
Dick, ‘Confessions of a Crap Artist’


Sometimes it’s "refusal to commit adultery” which drives the plot, e.g. Charlotte Bronte, ‘Jane Eyre’


Feminist books (Kate Chopin, etc) tend to be pro-adultery (“You go girl!”), particularly when it’s a married woman committing it. Richard Yates has the same ‘marriage is so stifling I just had to have an affair’ vibe.

Elizabeth Smart, ‘By Grand Central Station I Sat Down And Wept’ is the other way round (he was married, she wasn’t). Definitely worth a read as the ur-example of ‘nothing, literally nothing in the world, matters compared with my orgasms’. Anais Nin [I forget which letter has the dots over it], ‘Henry And June’ is from the same school.

You legally can't use a fish hook on a cheater's genitals and we call ourselves le heckin' western civilization.

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>>25493118
Couldn't resist! Just the comedian in me heh

>>25493118
>>25493131
Anna Karenina, Swann’s way, Decameron, C Tales

Way too many actually.

>>25493118

I submit for your consideration the novella The Hellbound Heart, later adapted by its author as the horror film Hellraiser. The franchise (and original book/film) are notorious for blood and guts, but the real message and fairy-tale moral of the original story is that adultery, ESPECIALLY female adultery, is destructive of the family.

-woman gets bad boy alpha criminal dick, never forgets it, wants it so bad again
-marries his beta dweeb brother
-alpha bad boy comes back from hell, hey help me out bitch
-Yes I Will Daddy *kills a bunch of guys for him*

The beta is killed, alpha skin-walks in his skin, and alpha and the adulterous woman are dragged to hell, their families (details depending on which text) and lives ruined forever. All because one woman lusted outside her marriage. The End.

>>25493118
Lady Chatterley's Lover

>>25493118
Have you been cheated OP?

>>25493118
Red and The Black Stendhal

>>25493118
This is an Anonymous place, so it doesn't matter, but I'm married for six years and one year out of it, I am stuck in an affair with a women I met randomly.

My wife fulfills the desires of my heart (she is benevolent, supportive, hard working), while the affair I got into fulfills the desires of my mind.
My wife is all forgiving, is very innocent (I am her first partner). She on the other hand is not much interested in books, or complex topics besides her (prestigious and complex work) which we sometimes discuss, but we are from very different academic backgrounds.

It's not even that much about sex itself, not in the affair, nor in my marriage, but I feel like only with her (affair) I can speak what actually occupies my mind. Many of us end up here, because we have the feeling there is no one out there to share the books which we have read. With her it is different, she has interesting views, reads a lot and we share similar values, as we have the same academic background. On the other hand, she lacks the heart of my wife, the innocence. With her I have to be much more "the leader", while with my wife I can also lay back sometimes and she cooks something for us for example.

The aspect of sin is what actually crumbles my soul. It tears the light in my eyes, the humanity away from my being. It feels like being eaten alive. If you are everywhere, you are nowhere. You always occupy two spots at the same time, both claiming to love you, while you are unable to love neither of them fully. Whenever you try to decide for one thing, the other takes the Lasso and pulls you back. "Don't leave me". "I can't live without you", while you, yourself can't live with the burden of adultery. You can't live in the limbo you have out yourself in. Every decision you take is right and wrong at the same time.

An affair does not happen out of boredom, I was unhappy in my marriage in some aspects before that, mostly because of constant fights, shallowness and the feeling of communicating things, but my significant other not being able to understand, or wanting to understand them.


Anyway: Funnily enough I have not read any books on it and should do it, I can only tell you about the depixtions in the divine comedy, the bible or the Qur'an. Doing it + reading about it and what happened to "these sinners"

>>25499565
>Every decision you take is right and wrong at the same time.
No. You are making the unambiguously wrong decision every time you commit adultery. There's no duality to it. It's just evil. Of course, if you spend enough time wanting to, you can rationalize anything; find reasons to think that the bad thing you're doing is actually good. It's actually good for her that you're cheating on her, because it makes you happier, and that improves her life. Et cetera. One of the things highly intelligent people are very good at is making themselves believe the things they want to believe. Nobody is so likely to label any intrinsically immoral act (incest, child abuse, adultery) as acceptable, after thinking about it, as an academic is. Not to mention all the other evil things academics will unhesitatingly support. I don't think there exists an evil in this world which academics *wouldn't* be capable of erecting whole fields of study in defence of. But I digress.
Of course, you acknowledge that it's evil, but then you twist this realization into something positive for yourself as well, almost martyring yourself on the altar of your own sin and reveling in your guilt. This part of the post I find especially disgusting.

Personally, I think your wife has the right to kill you if she should so desire. Because betrayal is the greatest of all sins. Although I realize I'm on the extreme end of this.

>>25499565
I’m a bisexual (but like men a lot) man married to a woman and we make it work without adultery. I’m not religous so won’t comment on sin. No doubt marriage is very very difficult but imo it’s your expectations that are messed up.

Some of the fulfillment of the mind does not have to be supplied by your wife. Friends, colleagues, Internet forums are supposed to help with that. Your mistake is believing in wholeness from one person and now you’ve found two people each of whom supply part of the whole you desire.

You don’t need a book. Break up with your girlfriend. Forgive yourself and ask for forgiveness from your wife. One of the beautiful things about literature is to live life vicariously and to explore the endless possibilities you won’t experience. Your partner and probably no other partner can give you that 100 percent fulfillment. Put those things to bed and love your wife for simply who she is.

>>25499716
You are right about the aspect of it being fully evil, otherwise I wouldn't highlight it as a cardinal sin and I would advise every other Anon against it, as it is crumbling for ones own soul. Of course my intention is also not to portray me as the one suffering, but highlighting it by making the feeling of it more relateable to other people. Even a murderer suffers from his act, as we have seen with Raskolnykov for example. You are also right about the fact that biting the hand that feeds you, is a great sin and is rightfully put in the depths of Dantes Hell. You turn away from Virtue, and even high education (which I unfortunately possess), won't hider you from it.

I wouldn't say academia, or education itself is the cause of Humans doing gruesome things. We have seen it in the third Reich that from the very educated, to you worker next door, everyone was a part of the chain of structural monstrocities. Globally even... Designing the bomb, building it, testing it, flying it. Or on the Japanese side, raping entire villages and testing weapons on living persons.

I am drifting away from the topic. My intention was to support your chain of thoughts almost fully, as yes my wife has all the right to hate, scold, scream at me. I don't think killing, honor killing if you may call it, would be the extreme to answer another extreme.

Is in your opinion every sinner doomed to death by another mans hand? Shall I also perish from this soil, due to my commited sins? Are you willing to stain your hands with blood, shall her innocent hands do it then? What is your solution to murderers? Locking them away for all their lives? Killing them? Rehabilitating them? You turn yourself into a mere savage, while simultaneously turning away from God. One of the greatest arguments against death is in fact that the only entity to decide for ones death is the primum mobile, the first mover, outside of time and space, not you, nor an juristical body.

Adultery is wrong and the sheer instance of it splits your soul. I can only tell you from a personal perspective how it boils, rips your flesh, stabs your heart with a knife and twists it. How your lungs fill with the intensity of fire and painted in the Scharlach hemoglobin tone. How even the individual that commits it suffers. The questions ask about the salvation of the act. The reasons for the act. I even ask myself what do to against it, as now, after Raskolynkov split the skull with his axe, there is no turning back.

You wish for the truth to come out. I was on my knees praying for god to show my wife the truth and he did. She cried and stormed, rightfully but said "it's only one hair of your eyebrow, why should I not love you in the face of our creator? Who am I to judge your acts? Who says the coming 40 years are not going to be better?".

She is an innocent angel, that (on the defensive note also has some deep boiling issues besides that). And I wish most of all for her to be happy

>>25493118
my diary desu, unironically


T___T

>>25500010
You are of course also right about it. I cannot shake the feeling of love for that girl off and I am married by now for quite some time. Maybe it's illusion, but it always felt like she kindled something in me that my wife never could. Again it's not about the sexual aspects of it.

The reason why I allowed such a person to come into my life first of all, was that the marriage we had was fundamentally sick in some ways. We both wished for a divorce for different reasons and the fights we shared were intensely damaging our hearts. Imagine going to a room to calm down a bit, as the things your wife says against you are very hurtful and instead of calm, she bombards the door, knocking on it, forcing you to open up. You feel powerless in such moments, as the angel you imagined her to be, is now so furious (long before the affair) for relatively banal / minor things (on an objective scale, stuff like not washing dishes properly or whatnot) You can call someone dumb for that, but the intensity became unbearable at some point.

apparently also for others, looking at the statistics of how many people commit adultery in their life, every fourth to every fifrh Anon in here will do it or has done it in their life. At the same time, marriages break, I wished for mine to break. I married very young and think differently now and so on. Details can shift the story. I wished to express the suffering of commiting it

>>25500029
tell that bitch to work on her trauma. her angry outbursts are worse than uncool, they're just her literally acting out her childhood pain with you. next time she does it call the police and have her arrested for domestic violence. maybe she can learn to control herself after she becomes a felon.

>>25500034
Did the therapy thingy you mentioned, she said sure, never did it. What now? I wouldn't say adultery is the solution, I can only tell you experiencing this a couple of times makes you numb. As a man there is not much to do. Even calling the police... Would you do it? You married for love and then you see her as your enemy? She is in an important position (me too unfortunately), so word of such things would damage her reputation. I don't want that.

Its not the only thing. She, as good she is to other people, is destructive to her own. She doesn't care about herself, only helps others, or even me. That's why she will never touch a therapy chair and I know that.

What are the options? Divorcing? I mentioned it a hundred times, whenever I even try to leave for a day, she will stand infront of my car.

Breaking up with the girl that came into my life? Tried that she gets really really sad and I feel bed. Call me people pleaser or a bitch, maybe thats true, but at the same time I care for these people a lot and as I can't be with them I also can't be without them, therefore the limbo situation I described.

Easiest would be, clean cut the affair out of my life (tried that) and focus on my marriage, accepting never the satisfaction I have with the affair, but having a good family on paper (death of Ivan Illych). Structurally safe. Other would be to divorce and live the Lolita life of obssessive love, structurally dangerous, but exciting.

Also don't tell me that, but after the entire story I believe I am the one in need of therapy, or honor suicide like the Anon mentioned

>>25500029
So do you think cheating was a form of getting back at her? And now you’ve fallen in love?

Have you discussed some type of open marriage?

>>25493118
Othello
>inb4 not a novel

>>25500064
I don't believe that humans are evil in the sense of what we subjectively call evil. If someone steals for example, he will come with the excuse of being hungry, or maybe it's thrilling, maybe just dumb, but seldom out of pure hatred in their heart.

For me, no I didn't intend to "get back". In fact I was seeking to free myself in the form of being away for some time and never inteded to hurt her in the first place. Got a very good offer in a very prestigious company... and went away for 5 months. During this time I met this girl. My intention was to have the space I was never granted in my own four walls. I didn't expect to find someone I would just deeply fall in love with. I didn't expect her to deeply fall in love with me. Especially building a romantic canon around it with stories from Tristan and Isolde and other literature couples didn't make it easier on my mind.

In short, no I didn't intend to cheat as a matter of "revenge". I needed space, then found love. I am still struggeling to know for myself if I want to continue the objective checkbox life, or follow the strong obssessive love I have for this girl.

My wife seeks children now for example. Leaving her would also be problematic on that regard, I also contemplated just staying for the sake of her fulfilling her dream of a family (and being a virtuous man! Also loving her, just not obsessivly loving her). I am torn, as "turning to virtue and being a good husband" seems just as correct as "leaving the one you damaged so badly, give her the chance to find a proper man and go wo
ith the girl that claims to love you so deeply".

And honestly my affair partner still has the demonic feel to it (as it is forbidden), while my wife seems angelic, even after all the things she did.

>>25493118
The best part about this fable is Jesus' point that every single human being, on and of this earth, is a filthy little sinner. Not "capital punishment is le bad!"

>>25500090
>I don't believe that humans are evil in the sense of what we subjectively call evil.
Yeah.
Obviously you don't.
That's called a self- serving rationalization you dumb faggot.

>>25500090
You should tell your wife that you cheated on her behind her back and that her idea of her life is a lie largely sustained by your dishonesty. Or, don't you want to do that? Do you think lying is permissable to maintain a happy delusion?

>>25500090
“ My wife seeks children now for example. Leaving her would also be problematic on that regard”

Anon - I guarantee you I like men more than any poster in this thread. I feel for you I really do and to some extent I understand what you’re going through.

However you’ve got to grow up. If you leave your wife you may be committing her to not having children. That’s cruel.

Moreover I can tell you as a dad at least for me being a parent is truly one of the greatest joys. Grow up and start giving to the world - stop worrying about your needs and be a provider. You’ll look back and find your life enriched 10 fold.

>>25500097
You seem to be ruled by hatred, which is also a cardinal sin, just as lust. I am also not christian btw, but the concept of sin existed long before christianity. Mesopotamia and egypt had it as the disturbance of cosmic order divine decree. Therefore your advice serves no purpose, we are talking sinner to sinner.

>>25500099
Of course I should. I also did to some degree, she knows how it started, that I became intimate with her. She openly knows that I am a cheater. I am happy she knows. I really don't wish to quote Dosto in that context, but it is the same thing as Raskolnykov trying to bring out the truth indirectly, while being too scared to say it directly.

The only problem is to see the light in your wifes eyes fade the more you open up. It's deliberately pushing a knife into someone you love. I love my wife don't get me wrong. I also love my affair. Same as you love your father and your brother, your friends.. Love is the very essence of being and you can have different degrees of love for different people e.g Plato.

>>25500152
You're truly good in your heart anon and I see it. You are correct. I can garuantee you I tried my best. I told her multiple times "I cannot talk to you anymore. It's over". She even told me "Never contact me again" but it becomes unbearable. I have never experienced this type of fever of missing someone so dearly. I thought I would be too old for such childish feelings. Having her in my life is eating me alive, not having her is eating me alive. Call me dumb thats what I truly am, but the chaos inside of my brain is real..I didn't talk to her for 2 months, removed everything there was and she appears in my dreams, when I take a walk. I see her in so many places and can't explain why. I am married, why do I feel such strong sense of a heartbreak? The worst is, she too! She tells me of the most obssessive things one could even do in a heartbreak situation, that she misses me. It's truly toxic and addicting. I wished she would just remove me, I told her so. I wished she would leave me and find someone and force my suffering, but she won't. It must be the same urge a person who smokes has, when being away from his cigarette from too long. I had relatiobships before my marriage (>1-2 years) and I didn't feel these feelings so strong.

The "right" thing is to man up, give her 3 healthy boys or girls, forget about my sinful past, be the best husband from her I could, work on the existing issues and try to have a formidable life.

I just wonder about that obssessive itch. The affair represents everything I never managed to have. I grew up very poor and became very succesful through hard work. She seems luring, exotic, intoxicating, exciting, intelligent and broad. Even if it brings me ruin. It might.

She seems understanding and patient (she even waits for a year for me already). Something my wife never showed me. She seems like the person I always wished to have in my life, even if it's just an illusion

>>25500229
Is it love when you lie to someone? If so, then perhaps love isn't really all it's cracked up to be. Maybe it's just a wicked form of delusion.

>>25500152
>I guarantee you I like men more than any poster in this thread
I don't doubt that cause your posts are gay af

>>25500258
Yea what do you think about this fact:

I never liked PIV that much. The only time I would say it was easy to finish was when she was trying to get pregnant. She wanted me so bad it put me in a weird mental state. My brain just isn’t wired like straight males. BUT no matter what at least I’ll never be an incel.

I do feel for OP though - hes like a super Chad with 2 girls on him.

>>25493118
The unbearable lightness of being

>>25500229
Even Cormac McCarthy had these problems. A lot of men just have a super chad quality to them that attracts women and they have to navigate multiple relationships. Just be generous and a good person and look into your heart to find a way to navigate.

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>>25493118
>What are great novels around the theme of adultery?

This is why I reverted to Islam unironically the thought that if your wife cheats you cannot kill her or put her to death through Shari'a is insane, no man of actual honour would let his cheating wife get away with something like this

>Verily Allah sent Muhammad (ﷺ) with truth and He sent down the Book upon him, and the verse of stoning was included in what was sent down to him. We recited it, retained it in our memory and understood it. Allah's Messenger (ﷺ) awarded the punishment of stoning to death (to the married adulterer and adulteress) and, after him, we also awarded the punishment of stoning, I am afraid that with the lapse of time, the people (may forget it) and may say: We do not find the punishment of stoning in the Book of Allah, and thus go astray by abandoning this duty prescribed by Allah. Stoning is a duty laid down in Allah's Book for married men and women who commit adultery when proof is established, or it there is pregnancy, or a confession.

Sahih Muslim 1691a

No offence to my Christian friends, who I still talk to IRL and have read great encyclicals, and books by saints both Catholic and Oriental orthodox, but seriously how can one actually wrap their head around forgiving their wife who cheated on this?

>>25500323
>my Christian friends, who I still talk to IRL
you're not supposed to be doing that btw

>>25500335
as long as they don't cause Fitna and make me compromise my Islamic values, then its fine

look Abu Talib was a respected leader of the Banu Hashim clan and played a crucial role in protecting the Prophet, especially during the early years of his mission., he passed away in a state of disbelief. His death, along with that of Khadijah (RA), in the same year deeply saddened the Prophet(SAW). I am Salafi and even my Sheiks said its fine granted they have good moral character and don't compromise your values and considering I live in a 95% White town away from most Muslims it makes sense. Allah(SWT) knows best

>>25500323
Christians have (really ought to have since few of us actually read the Bible) stricter standards for adultery per Jesus/Isa

>“You have heard that it was said, 'You shall not commit adultery.’ But I say to you that everyone who looks at a woman with lustful intent has already committed adultery with her in his heart. If your right eye causes you to sin, tear it out and throw it away. For it is better that you lose one of your members than that your whole body be thrown into hell. And if your right hand causes you to sin, cut it off and throw it away. For it is better that you lose one of your members than that your whole body go into hell.

>It was also said, 'Whoever divorces his wife, let him give her a certificate of divorce.’ But I say to you that everyone who divorces his wife, except on the ground of sexual immorality, makes her commit adultery, and whoever marries a divorced woman commits adultery.