It was the best of times, it
was a dark and stormy night too.
It was the day of rainy menstruation.
"CLANG!" God dropped the boiling water on
NIGGERS TOUNGUE MY RUSTY CRUSTY ANUS AHHHH
Need to start immediately banning these threads
before disgusting, wretched, smelly, foul, crepuscular Indians
The faggot thought to himself very loudly.
"BUT /LIT/ IS FOR DISCUSSING BOOKKS NOT
for every thread contribution, 1,000 Indians die
happily, in old age, of natural causes
like smellulitis or poomonia. So think twice
after being castrated and imprisoned whole lives
The main character, Scuddles, discussed literature.
indians! i can't stop thinking about indians
"Are the Indians in the room with
tapeworms hanging out their butt holes like
party poppers over a cold wedding turnstile
?""Yes.""Well what are you going to
do now that you have me naked?"
Scuddles had never seen a naked body
the eviscerated jiggaboo ooked its last ook
Strangely, not even his own, you see,
yet the smell was distinctly soggy Cheetos
"It ain't easy being this cheesy" - Chester
Scuddles poured more milk over his Cheetos
"Yummy fucking 'tos mate, proper Brexit food"
"You say 'tos? That's bloody nasty, innit?"
"Bruv, frankly, this life isn't worth living."
Scuddles pondered the weight of this existence.
"Oi mate, let's watch some fuckin' football"
>broadcaster"Team Hitler meets Team Stalin first time..
Let us go then, you and I
"Ja," Hitler said. "Vait, vho eez zat?!"
asked Stalin."Ich bin Hitler" replied Hitler.
Da, ya znayoo. Stalin zdyes,said Stalin
Their cocks stiffened. Neither of them moved.
Of course, cocks do not have feet.
Hitler checked the newspaper headlines: "India Obliterated"
The janny recoiled in horror "NO, NOOOOOOO"
Chekists dragged the janny away. "The protocol
>>25533513Imagine getting paid in hot pockets. CRINGE
Canada rejoiced in the good news Trump's
Stalin whipped out both of his penises
, sending out a powerful shockwave which obliterated
Scuddles' tight little arsehole. He smiled, because
he remembered India had also been obliterated.
Might the two obliterations be related? Mayhaps
it's not worth living after all. Sad!
>>25534560but the best things in life are
living somewhere without a bunch of smelly
kind friends who care about your wellbeing
and never question your gender fluidity, because
correct horse battery staple kids next door
without ever returning Hitler's favourite walkman and
really, when you think about it, you'll
never be happy. You'll never be happy.
You should've done it years ago, coward.
You're nothing. You'll never be anything. You
don't have friends. They just tolerate you.
Except Hitler, you think. That guy rules.
But you're wrong. He hates you too.
No, no god damnit! Hitler loves you!
Wait.. Who said that? Am I hallucinating?
his legs became wobbly, then he suddenly
realized that the joke was on him.
"HOW CAN THIS BE" he said aloud
But nobody listened, alone in the void
where he lived, he knew he'd never
face to face with the most horrifying
inquisitor." Voronov lowered the manuscript. "What does
it mean to be a fish, in
the frozen Moskva?" Voronov closed the dossier.
Dostoyevski, Tolstoy and Pushkin stood in front
of the black prison van in snow.
"That'll teach you to love Mother Russia"
Voronov shoved the weeping novelist inside, laughing
then took their fountain-pens and broke them
across his knee. Ink bled onto snow.
He shook his head. "That was gay."
The engine roared into the morning gray.
but that is the problem with niggers
" — Voronov underlined each word in red pencil.
Said Dostoyevski, startling his companions in anguish
, that "Everything is permitted." The van approached
with ghastly rigmaroles and pre-Freudian complexes galore.
Gates shut. NKVD guards dragged him below.
His nipples sensitive to the Siberian winds,
made the soldiers a bit zesty and
wild. Before the Troika, his trial begins
for having sex with a noble prostitute
in novel that the STATE will prosecute
whilst also destroying many billions of smelly
>>25533513You are slowly incrementing the world count to see at which point something mildly coherent emerges, aren't you?
pages. "Explain this gibberish!" the Troika demanded.
and dirty piss stained footwrap. He said
"you are found guilty of morning glory"
Tolstoy farted loudly, Pushkin cried warmheartedly, suddenly
silenced. Voronov read: "Team Hitler meets Stalin!"
"love prevails against the cold" he said
His eyes, colder than a witch tits,
narrowed. Voronov demanded: "Who is this Scuddles?"
Scuddles, the long forgotten protagonist, plotted forward
>>25535021"i will rape scuddles" exclaimed the judge
Dura lex, sed lex. Judge and Scuddles
The jury was billions of utterly smelly
"I WILL F U C K I N G R A P E S C U D D L E S"SAID Pete
And it was that moment the raping
only really began in this story. Long
ago, Ace Ventura: Pet Detective was released
in the the wilds of Southern Provence
where humorous humongous fungus grew beautifully
" — Voronov transcribed this decadent nonsense most dutifully
And in this fungus lived a smurf
" said the vagrant, while repeatedly stabbing Voronov
and his nose was big and hooked
"So… he was Jewish", Voronov replied. "You
spin my head round round, you say?"
"No!" Yelled previously unnoticed mysterious looking figure
"Was ist Das?!" said visibly rattled Hitler
Nikolai Yezhov, finger tightening on the trigger
>>25535136The hats Had had had had had...
"Hahaha!" laughed the Rabbi Schlomo, perfect chutzpah!
A bullet cracked. Cold silence filled the
strip club. Scuddles threw down another $1000
"Shake thaaaaat assess bitch" lofty song resound
Squarepusher - "Hard Normal Daddy" 1997, Warp Records
But personally, Autechre has always been my favorite
all glitch music is for depressed trannies
What do happy trannies listen to, then?
The sounds of Jewish marijuana rap music.
redundancy doesn't mean I'm wrong, kill yourself
Scuddles coughed. Wind tore through shattered cubicles.
Above, the chickens clucked impatiently. Feeding time
neared. Scuddles discovered the clandestine corporate coops.
seeding time. Formerly, fucking time, sucking time.
Through feathers, pale Peter climbed, almost sublime
Peter then walked and thought about things
like female lips, and dying completely untouched,
Peter ordered a coffee at the cafe
No you niggers that's not how it goes! You're supposed to post a sneedjak!
>>25535298“I’ll take it black, like my men”
she joked, ninety floors above Lower Manhattan
Peter swept his room. It calmed him.
Then the narrator destroyed all Peter posters
"Wait, why are you tearing my posters off
?" "Because the Peter Poster is fucking boring."
"Not boring! Asuka shines in crimson plugsuit!"
"Colourless green ideas sleep furiously", repeated Chompskytron.
Well, at least it's not Chomskytroon — I
think I should become a cattle rearer
"HOW YOU WHAT YOU FUCKING FUCK THE
BLOODY BASTARD BENCHOD YOU!" He seethed copingly.
The interlocutor quivered, then bobbled. "NO, YOU
. Meanwhile, Janny received his pay slip. Overwhelmingly shocked
. We return to the dialogue: "BLOODY BASTARD
BHENCHOD BLOODY FUCK YOU BASTARD". But she
slapped. How could she? Let's ask Janny.
Janny, is she okay? Will you tell
Chomskytron that your salary remains absolute zero?"
"Hey Lois," said Peter, "this janny does
real sloppy rim jobs for twenty bucks"
Chomskytron deducted the twenty dollars as rent.
Brian! Stopped fucking Mr. Hitlers leg please
"I deconstruct fascism", Brian panted between thrusts.
"BAZINGA!!!" Yelled Sheldon braking through the wall
into empty sky, plummeting ninety floors down.
Bazinga… it reminded Peter of the holodomor
Sheldon bowed down and WORSHIPPED Hitler! Bazinga!
The Jews scattered through nearby tunnel systems
The incessant Hitler worship triggered Peter’s judeopsychosis
"A wizard is never late" proclaimed Gandalf
And Gandalf bespermed the whole entire gathering
Scuddles wasn't greatly offended by that fact
but what he WAS offended by, was
grace, peace, forgiveness, tolerance, understanding, love, and
Peter banning wizards while his office burned
outbreaks of avian flu killing sea lions
depressed the clerk condemned to burn alive.
Harrowing bedbugs invaded terrestrial sacrilege of being
Peter, lonely virgin burning in the tower
Gandalf bespermed both towers at once, then
blamed the structural failure on jet fuel.
To be frank, it wasn't THAT hot.
But the smell of hot wizard sperm
melted the steel beams in Tower Seven.
Oh no... Sheldon's inside tower 7! Bazinga!
Peter checked burning cubicles for cute girls.
Indians were not found in the cubicles
They left with every woman hours ago.
but the particles of their articles were
concealing one skinny girl beneath a table
(she was fat, it was a cruiseship)
He kicked her flabby body in disgust.
"PUSSYCLOT" he shouted angrily, stuck in her fat
cunt unapologetically, and painstakingly it was rather
acute. Then pain awoke her: "aaah fuck"
She remembered her time in Vegas when
a different guy got stuck inside her
although that might have been in LA
Her West Coast days tended to blend
like cheap liquor and meth, but anyways
she joined a tinsel town death cult
that offered lead roles to surviving members
not expecting to be working pensioner cruiseships
She starred in a number of direct-to-video
and had brief spell with vaudeville group
, he cramped his words out of fear
he noticed she's missing most of teeth
and it was her vaginal yeast infection
that seal deal, creepy lady very gross
"You know Brian this reminds me of
despair." He strapped her to a chair
The tilted floor rolled her airborne: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAaaAaaAAaaAAaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!!!
aaaAAaah, -aaAaAaAhhh, aaahhHH; this wasn't so bad
Suddenly, there was an acrid stench of turmeric
or was it her vaginal yeast infection
Our team conducted a study to determine
why her vaginal yeast smelled like ginger
The reason will shock you! Click here
By clicking the link, you have consented
to death. Peter raided the breakroom fridge.
"Awww yeah, Jello Jigglers! Freakin' sweet!" Pontificating
on gelatin, Peter chewed his final meal.
After this, he would never chew again...
Especially in Singapore, chewing gum is illegal
while chewing cum, though technically legal, is
In those days pedophile vampires controlled the world
Suddenly, a turmeric-like odour filled the room
*gay accent* cause liiiiiiiike... yeah so likeeeee...?
the Slovenian valley girl wondered boobily.
>>25535160
>>25536187
Somewhere in the French countryside Varg Vikernes
had another kid, but this time with
Yasmin, a blue eyed Turkish Muslim woman.
She had a big fat ass and
boobs the size of summer watermelons. Her
love for Varg was haram. But wallahi,
whatever that means. Varg was blind now
but only blind to eye charts. Inconvenient!
Miku showed me her big, bouncy titties.
Scuddles beamed, glad to be away from
By Allah’s mercy the two had twins
(I'll say it. I don't like Nabokov.)
Their cursed offspring, mutated by unchristian music,
began to slowly, but inexorably, transform into
a copy of Pale Fire by Nabokov.
"Butterflies aren't even that pretty," he thought.
The novel was scuffed, the cover creased,
but its contents were still legible. Still,
he had his other child, Stoner, the
small little German boy, a faggot.
Yup, it was pretty hilarious. But Varg
>>25536189
>>25536606And then they lived happily ever after.
>>25536678And fucked themselves. And sucked themselves. Yay!
The German boy was called Peter Thiel
btw, and the skinny fat girl was
still suffering from gross vaginal yeast infections
her name was Adele, she could sing
from her punani to spread the smell
and play a round of splinter cell
and Allah gave everything to Varg indeed
and but so it came to pass
the third era of humanity, it's time
for Ranjeet to die. Hit by a
He tucked his hand under her armpit for comfort. She nodded, thankfully.
falling woman strapped to an office chair.
Then Dostoyevsky, Voronov and Scuddles commited suicide
Then Tanner, Peter, Sheldon, Hank, Walter died
Everybody is now dead. Even narrator. Ack!
Luckily death is a continuation of life.
Varg and his Muslim offspring, untouched by
misfortune and death (meta metamorphoses aside), though
held a funeral for all the dead
>>25536948Made me jej
and baked their ashes into pagan bread
much to Yasmin's dissatisfaction to such haram
The daughter's vaginal yeast contributed into bread
dough, since nobody died while facing Mecca.
You are lower than a nigger's foot.
sang the round loaf, rolling through France
until it crashed into India, destroying everything
except one call center offering tech support………
which exploded. All Indians were gone forever.
leaving two billion callers on permanent hold
and unable to redeem their gift cards
while the singing loaf rolled into China.
Suddenly, Yui Hirasawa entered the room with
a butter knife to end its life
"I can't believe it's not buttered!" He
had sixty seconds before it hit China
to launch interceptor missiles at the loaf.
But thankfully Gandalf intercontinentally bespermed the loaf.
hitting it would mean spreading vaginal yeast
all over Yunnan province. By besperming it
he forced Beijing to issue formal thanks
Varg and his Chinese wife also thanked
Gandalf for defending their traditional family values
gnometheless they received a full on besperming
But that was but a memory now.
From underneath the surface of the world
she emerged, still strapped to her chair
"Stuhl", as they say in german. But the
but otherwise transformed into a hulking demonic
centaur, hunting Peter for a second date.
"Aw crap!" said Peter. "This reminds me
when I forgot how to stop farting."
Cut to Peter at a funeral farting
directly into Gandalf's anus, ass to ass
"Excuse me sir, could you please stop
farting?" Her casters spun backward to September.
In Peter's culture farting was a compliment
Her chair flew backward through reassembling glass.
that is, for the sake of clarity,
in the direction of the back of
Peter, slamming him into the open fridge.
The fridge door shut, trapping Peter inside
before atomic fire vaporized the office centaur.
And there was much rejoicement. The end
of Peter would surely be permanent this
time if only he hadn't found another
way to turn back time. Quickly, he
knew in every timeline Indians were destroyed
NEW THREAD >>25537449
I like seven words
