I'd never let a woman fuck me.

Nobody tell OP about sounding

>>25549789
What book?

Crazy that women have basically a mini-penis. It's like all of Humanity is gay.

>>25550000
What a fucking W A S T E

>>25549789
I've had to get a catheter before and I can tell you emphatically that no, it does not feel good. It fucking stings and feels bad.

>>25549789
I bet that would hurt really nicely. Fuck.

>>25549789
if it's anything like the time my ex stuck her finger up my urethra, no, it feels horrible

>>25549985
Miss Smilla's Feeling for Snow

>>25550048
Why did you allow this to happen?

>>25549789
Well, it's poorly written, reflecting a lack of experience as well as of, by consequence, imagination.
The urethra does not and cannot be "opened", in the sense that it is always open. What this author meant is that the opening of the urethra is spread wider, not that this would be necessary for a clitoris to fit inside, but the image of spreading it wider enriches the scene.

>>25549789
>clitoris
no such thing
I hate fiction

>>25549789
Sounds terrible. Like when you get checked for VD and they shove that Q-tip up your dong and swirl it around. Macabre.

>>25550101
it's professionally published

>>25550171
And yet my reading of the description is logically infallible. It's poorly written.

>>25549789
Clits are very tiny that it would be impossible to get them inside the holes of anybody, because they're so goddamn tiny and surrounded by labia. So she must be one of those freaks who take certain medications to enlarge their clits into "clitdicks" to be able to put it inside the guy's dick hole

>>25549980
i caught my roommate doing this with very long glass rods, and he jerked (heh) up so suddenly that he actually broke the rod in half while it was still inside. it sounded exactly as you'd think, a little *tink* like breaking an icicle

thankfully it didn't shatter INSIDE his urethra, but what a rush we all felt that day

>>25550208
Heh

>>25549881
fpbp
/thread

>>25549881
DANGEROUSLY based

>>25549980
I've visited a domina once and while blindfolded and chained to the wall she did that and it was such a great experience. Because I couldn't see anything and never experienced it before, I had no idea what was going on which made it just more exciting. Money well spent.

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>>25550029
same.
I was born with my urethra "offset", wich would make my adult life complicated because I would not be able to pee standing without turning it into a wetland.
Had to use a catheter after the surgery, and boy, it was not fun. One time I got it stuck and managed to pull it off. People can't understand what having a catheter pulled out of their dicks feels like.
Apparently I had it easy, I meet a guy who did the same thing when he was older, and every time he had a fisiological erection he waked up in extreme pain.

>>25550192
Even then, clitdicks aren't solid enough for penetration, it'd be like trying to fuck someone with a floppy earlobe

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>>25550965
>picrel
also both >>25550029 of you need to learn about sounding so you can heal your relationship with urethral penetration

>>25551051
>prayed about 9/11
He willed 9/11 into being?

>>25551045
>clitdicks aren't solid enough for penetration
I've seen some webms that prove otherwise. Some /gif/ deviants would be willing to share if you ask nicely.

>>25549789
Once in secondary school the first half of the PE lesson was manhunt and I went and hid in a bush. Eventually the teacher thought everybody had been found and had the rest of the boys play football, while I was still stuck in a bush. I decided I had nothing better to do than rub one out and, while I was at it, I found a small twig and stuck it into my urethra. It felt really good, but I never tried anything like that again.

>>25551833
>It felt really good
Bullshit.

>>25549789
This is a logistical nightmare, even if you do enjoy stuff going down your hole. Only a woman with a vulgar and limited imagination could write this.

>>25550105
Based.
>>25550208
How the fuck did he get it out, did you have to jerk it out of him?
t. aspiring sounder

>>25549789
an awkward, futile attempt at a woman trying to dominate a man. despite her psychological delusions of being in power sexually (and generally), and her re-appropriating inversion of the normal roles of the genitalia to satisfy this (by turning the assertive penis into a passive vagina, and in turn her pathetic clitoris into an assertive penis), the actual difference in their genitalia unsympathetically says all that needs to be said.

this almost feels like permitting a child win at a game out of pity, but the child gains a sense of superiority by seriously believing he won by his own ability.

>>25551841
The pressure on the intruding object as you squeeze your dick is what feels good, not having something up there in and of itself.

>>25550101
what? i had no difficulty in understanding the excerpt. your criticism of it makes me honestly think YWNBAM. do you have a penis? ofc you would need to open the thing a little to fit a clitoris inside.

>>25550000
Checked and laughed

>>25549789
It's interesting how women view the penis as dominance, and wish to emulate it. In a way it's true: when I'm being dominated (properly dommed, not just some flavour of the week goth girl who makes you call her mommy) I cannot get hard, despite being intensely aroused. But when I'm in the dominant role, I'm hard as anything, even if I'm not that aroused.
Sex is weird and most women don't understand what it takes to be dominant so imagine silly and impractical stuff such as this, but they are still instinctivly aware of Nature's truths.

>>25551879
The rod was very long, probably 18in I'd say. It broke in two big pieces and a bunch of tiny ones, but the break point was at least an inch from the tip of his average-ish dick

so he just stared at us, stared at it, then pinched the jagged edge and slooshed it out

idk seemed fine but we didn't talk about it, just one of those "ah whoops, dang, ok, see you later!!" type of things

I can not be said to be dominant when I am dependent on her submission. I can pull her hair, thwack her rump, and do all manner of things that engorge my penis with blood, but I'll feel the security of being a lock, merely the precision of being a key.

>>25549789
FYI just touching that is painful for most men.

>>25552243
>The rod was very long, probably 18in I'd say.
Long enough for you to dock in on the other end without making it gay

>>25552339
No it's not, you just have gonorrhea

Why the fuck are leftists sending sex maniacs into schools to tell kids that all this stuff is normal and healthy?