Gordon heard it was good for the(continued from >>25551797)
The novella will end at bump limit, so stick the landing anons. I look forward to seeing all plot threads come together and resolve.Here is Lucky Seven sans ending (other title suggestions welcome): https://litter.catbox.moe/8xv7q8.pdf
>>25555243denizens of the auspices of sweet abandon
that now lay siege to his hardened
>>25555243wtf are these threads? faggots will literally do anything except read or work
>>25555293makin art
>>25555262race of cannibals and gamblers, among which
>>25555308None had won and lost more than
>>25555321The Marvels did at the box office.
Dear reader, we shall now list all
major characters in this story in order
the times we have gotten laid... Next,
>>25555332of penis size. First is obviously the
dragon dick of Dumbledore swallowed by Cerberus.
These seven words serve no actual purpose.
>>25555304no. you are "makin" an ass of yourselves. This shit ain't art. Its engagement farming
>>25555348I too hate fun
>>25555248I like "Cocksucking: A User's Manual"
Next, probably Mongo. Thirdly, Sir Meemaw. After
Mads Mikkelsen was RAPED by gorilla niggers
Fourth is a great revelation: Pooja actually
was Ciacco, reciting that unfinished beach poem
in a virgin attitude. The fifth is
Grug Thick Club, rolling retrograde against Plutus.
>>25555352A root canal is more fun than this shit
— shouted 'Why keepest thou?' at screaming hoarders,
>>25555348u r gey
>>25555408addressing a multitude with a singular form,
and almost vomiting in the process! Damn!
His tummee hurtee and he no likee
Worf bellowed "Why squanderest thou?" in Klingon.
Byron bought a train ticket to Paradiso.
>>25555243this is an AI scraping thread
Scuddles watched Byron's train leave Styx.
>>25555449Everything written down gets scraped by ai you big gay nobhead
This is, of course, an euphemism for
the departure after a night of rough
missing the boat, so to speak. Prolapse
>>25555449>Gemini starts inserting stinky Ranjeet into every storybased if true
>>25555467How does it feel to die? Prolapse.
Does the jester's son ever laugh? Prolapse.
What does Harry gurgle in Styx? Prolapse.
Was there ever nothing before something? Prolapse.
Are sleep and wakefulness the same? Prolapse.
What did Potter create from nothing? Prolapse.
If future's past, what of present? Prolapse.
What is shitting yourself outta yourself? Prolapse.
Specter, how he laughs! And how? Prolapse.
I was blind, but now I see
that everything in life is but Prolapse.
He who solves the riddle o'the prolapse
FREAKING THE FUCK OUT RIGHT FUCKING NOW!!!!!!!
— screamed blind Byron, swallowing the Marmite beans
. He did not register the dawn sun
that hung so low in the sky
, for his eyes were like prolapsed anuses
. Would the eternal dawn ever depart? He
the sun glinted like a prolapsed anus
. He, the sun, was like a constant.
He, the sun, pervaded every moment of
the day. He, the sun, had nowhere
but my loving arms to retreat into.
He, the sun, forgetful of his mission.
And yet, he would not do so,
He, the sun, when day was done,
having bespermed the world with his cumlight
Rose in the night. What a sight.
astrology and occultism were rework'd from scratch
when Bombadil struck an infernal Minecraft match.
What a sight. Abode in the night.
Jacked Mandela saw Dis gleaming so bright,
Fuck the shut up! You wanna fight?
He, destroyed his cageYesYESThe
creature within it was indeed no Knight,
The solar anus farted a human life.
>>25555598Anus... black, round, filthy, as a latrine...
What a sight, sun, what a sight.
Homer's delighted Byrons anus is pleasantly tight
Surrounded by anuses and suns, I sighed,
>>25555598That life? Crowley's Moonchild; president of NWO
Prolaps'd once more, all right, all right.
Sol excretes whom Luna births. Wat mean???
or is this yet another Jewish gaslight
; "Ego sum lux et veritas!", Judaeus ait,
while Farinata leaked the Pentagon Papers tonight.
*a small circle growns on smaller circles*
Jews can actually be pretty fun lads.
Dear reader, I'm still haunted by 9/11
>>25555246
and Dis collapsed exactly like Tower Seven
through that Minecraft detonation zone to heaven
, Sigma Heaven, where Roe Jogan died a
violent death on derailed carriage seven
rape testimonies run cover for alien abductions
aboard the doorless train of cold seductions
that houses the philosophers of painful deductions.
Sugma nuts bitch lol. Nah but seriously
folks you gotta try these cashews. HEYO!
Zeus repopulated the earth via rape. Huh...
Weird... I thought the only true god
= Whom nothing greater therethan can be thought
of, was baby tuckoo. The moocow came
and was worshiped and fucked by Indians
Yes, you heard me, Indians, those funny
people that you mustn't mention lest anon
's sissy clitty start leaking; speaking of clits,
u saying wat u son of bich
you crash the bloody site benchod basturd
story so bad the website stops working
Suddenly, a voice whispered from somewhere unknown:
Where are we? In Miami still or?
And who is alive still? Byron? Anyone?
Umm, we're dead. Do you know Hades?
Oh, right. How should this fiasco end?
Hey deez nuts are in your mouth
Woah, is that Diomedes? The real Diomedes?
Appropriate that this should end in hell
I can't believe that's Diomedes, is it?
No, it mustn't, it cannot be, it's
Dayumn, eat deez nuts bitch lmaooooo bitch
The Indians summoned Vishnu, their most precious
plastic tat, dumped it in the Styx
>>25555944, passed it to Thibodeaux... for the touchdown!
The Hades Ballhandlers win the playoff and
leave fat, sticky loads inside jewish hebes
Jacked Mandela slammed the Sixth Circle gates.
"Yea we're still in underworld" uttered Gordon
He passed the joint again to Grug
"and Byron found happiness sucking Homer's cock"
"I'd leave him there. He seemed happy."
Scuddles sprinted past burning Substack culture warriors
to meet the grizzly rizzlers from Tuscon
bench pressing iron sepulchres for vascular gains
. He was craving to homosexually bottom them
before the boiling blood stench choked Scuddles
but he slipped out the choke hold
tumbling down rockslides where scalding gore rolled.
"Ain'tcha jes' sum' lil' faggit", said the
office centaur, hauling Scuddles past King Maggot.
Meanwhile Ranjeet, Pooja and Anne Frank were
burning in the quasi-Zoroastrian flames of hell.
Scuddles reached bleeding thickets where suicides dwell
and asked himself "what am I doing?"
"Fai niente", said Dante with a spell,
"what?" asked Scuddles, he didn't understand Spanish
"I say you're not doing very well
"." Thanks for your brilliant observation Mr. Holmes".
A prego purgatorio, drawn in Beardsley lines
"Fuck sakes, is this fucking Maccaroni hell?"
- "'Tis indeed. I'm for whom the bells
Then Hades, Lord of the Underworld spoke.
toll, forecasting unlimited obliteration across Circle Seven!"
Hades was always finishing other people's sentences
"Bed wet, first warm, then cold" spake
Grug. He felt awful unappreciated and underutilized.
the suicidal weatherman, dripping hot McChicken grease.
Scuddles. Hades took them to Samefag Hell, where
this plot was becoming a Gordian knot
they died, never to resurface again. Now,
since we're in underworld, it doesn't matter
if she's underage, technically she's dead since
. Homer peered down from Elysium and urinated
(You), dear reader, will be here too,
into a chalice of wisdom from which
on Dante for writing the most boring
I stared bepuzzled at that jumble of lines,
rhymes that even Eminem could write himself
masterpiece, that isn't boring at all if
one could get the coauthors to synchronize
and the crew powered on until 300
They make you read Dante in hell
It's called iambic pentameter, you ignorant pseud
Down low niggas from Atlanta assamblaged gayly
and Scuddles plunged into the eighth latrine.
The eight hell circle, commonly called "Atlanta"
Where Dante inhumed boiling shit and piss
"Dante; the shittest 'epic' poet," said Byron
low down in a greasy basement bath
, and eated the mess "Zo zo yummee!"
The Divine Comedy is not even funny
…" — Scuddles climbed stone bridges toward burning popes
"nigga press the Update button before posting"
and the Ethnic-Pit, where all ethnics resided
"These seven words serve no actual purpose!"
and christlikely redeemed them through Joganian Scientology,
Dante believed Indians could go to heaven
"AAAAAAAAAAaa AaaAAAAAAA!!!! AAAuaAAAeA!!! AAAAaaAaaaa aauauae aaaa aaaAAAaaAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!"
me fingee hurtee and me no likee,
Grug, clearly stoned, now impressed by literature
watched Diddler chanting Latin with burning feet.
Little Red imps with pitchforks flying around
The Ethnic-Pit really smelled, really really badly
Grug decided to start with the Greeks
"Asmodeus! Come to us! Luscious lusty lord!"
bellowed imps, chasing Scuddles over boiling pitch.
Having served their purpose, the seven words
But he came not, instead he ejaculated,
"Abandon all hope, ye who enter here."
the gang couldn't find Hitler here anywhere!
Oh shit, Dalai Lama? Buddha? Whatcha doing
"we got sent here because we uncircumcised"
And now that only 700 words remain,
Who won the Atlanta international farting competition?
Joey from Friends won the farting competition
Dante laught at th'mention of farts.
It was the best of times, it
was the peak of the plot, before
What will you guys do after this?
im so tired of this bullshit
Scuddles entered the 9th circle of hell —
The nightmare is nearly over, anon. Believe.
Scuddles suddenly felt an eerie sense of
Disregard that, I suck dicks every day.
"Don't doubt yourself." Gordon reminded the group
cum on his face, hot sulphurous cum
MESSI MESSI MESSI ENCARA MESSI ENCARA MESSI
Disregard this whole story, evreewun is gay
Scuddles crossed ice into frozen Moscow, where
Do you remember the time, when we
listend homosexually to nirvana and smashin punkins
Scuddles' real name was actually Andrea Diprè.
What else could Scuddles be? All apologies.
the previously unnoticed mysterious figure facing Voronov.
The gang was picked apart by drones
and their anus probed by infernal aliens
Hereafter they'd all go on a vacation
Drones with cones in their bones, to
after furthering NATO geopolitical agenda. Slava Ukraini!
They would find the most sublime thong rind,
The gang (masked, vaccinated, and socially distanced)
donned the Azov thong with black-sun runes
skibidi toilet on god fr no cap
*BUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUURRRRRRRPP*Sorry, heavy breakfast. You were saying?
in the manuscript Voronov showed to Scuddles
- said the mayor of tel aviv, goyimly,
there was this one Manhattan leather club
where they stacked all the goyim foreskin
and where every leather boy's a prince!
There was even a band called Fåreskin
"What messy vomit of words", Scuddles gasped
weeeeeeeeeeeeeeEEEEEEEEE-BOOOM! Scuddles just got unceremoniously droned!
. Would any semblance of a narrative thread
Shall we besperm the world this time
please stand up, please stand up (up)?
Do I dare to eat a peach?
get picked up before the end of
I'm only posting to disrupt rhyming fag
said the even bigger fag, quite faggily
"THE END IS NEAR, REPENT, BROTHERS, REPENT."
the rhymingfag cried and farted and suicided
May U live 2 see the dawn.
"MOSSA SE VOGLIO, BAFFO SE VOGLIO" he
"never shalt thou samefag rhyme again, gaylord"
SHUT THE FUCK UP THISSES FOR FRANKIE
"Scuddles, march the faggots to their execution."
"I just downvoted you, for your information."
"Then I shall have lotsa gay seggs!"
"U wot M8? Swear on me nan"
"I swear I love the LORD überalles"
The credits music began to play, it
Look at my finger. Look at it.
was Voronov, who marched the weeping faggots
Endless night closed in on the dawn
Forward, towards a brighter future and the
"KILL ME ALLREADY IM IN CONSTANT PAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN"
BLAST First (from politeness) ENGLAND. CURSE ITS
Fire consumed the sky. Oceans boiled. Scuddles
"hehe so I herd u liek mudkipz"
Wutang clan aint nuttin ta fuck wit
"lets all have gay sex til rapture!" said
o my back my back my BACH!
"I'M ABOUT TO COME, AAAAH I'M BUSSIN"
Jörmungandr wrapped the earth in his scales
It was then, the Passion of Matthew
, said the weeping novelist, before Voronov fired
But what was Matthew really passionate about?
The moon fell down to the earth
(Corydon, trans. Dorothy Bussy, Cassel 1967)
jesus and mohammad sucked each other off
and abraham and buddha joind them LOL!
GREATINGS FROM ROURKELA I AM BIG FAN
OF GAY SEX!"Six seven and nine
"What was all of this noise?" Scuddles
Greetings from Remulak I mean erm France
but really Lindsay Clancy did nothing wrong
AND I CAN COOL YOU ON HOT
The planet opened up, disassembled itself, inverted
…These and other apocrypha the Talmudists debated
came the beast from the apocalypse, cryptically
This is how a story dies, with
And they lived happily ever after, until
Who would be number 300? What honour
a corpse twitching in its death throes
THE HONOR IS MINE YOU FUCKIN FAGTWATS
"SHOIGU! GERASIMOV!", cried Voronov, "WHERE'S THE AMMO?"
Story became too mainstream for its own
And they all lived happily ever after
Not with a bang — with a whimper.
Then they all prolapsed and it ended.
N I G G E R NIGGGGGGERRRRRR
All the Ukrainians were killed. That's sad!
Remember: the poo is not solid pee.
Poo farts piss mcshits arse cunt nips
Probably both — with bang and a whimper
>>25556688i... think this was the end.
finally its fucking over and i can do something with my life insted uv whatever ddis is is
No reward for whomst've read this dreck
What a tense finale. The pathos was incredible
It started off pretty well, actually. When did everything start to go wrong?
That was unironically a peak ending
>>25556697Pretty sure it all goes to crap from here onwards>>25556562
I am so happy it's over. I had dreams related to this thread. I am finally free. It wasn't good ever since Pooja's fartletics competition ended. It felt like nothing sticked anymore. The ending was much worse than it needed to be because of pathetic faggots inserting random crap. If you have nothing to contribute, fucking don't say anything. Was still fun.
we gon get de pdf or whut?
>>25556701Dobby's arc was kino thoughbeit
>>25556705what about a Lulu paperback?
What are the most iconic seven words of this thing?
>>25556724What exactly was his arc? I tuned out after he was raped in the wreckage
>>25556728Not seven, but this is my fave sentence:>Bones broken, raped, humiliated, euphoric, in this moment, I am European.
Farting competition was kino, before everybody wanted to branch off new plot, and most were just going with the flow
post de pdf alreddy gawddarnet
seriously op, i know you're american and that its sunday, but surely this was enough time to get up and have your first big mac and three coca-colas by nowgetting worried we need to bump it or janny will trash it before you upload the pdf
OP hereIll upload the pdf once the editor takes a lookYes thats right ive submitted it to a publisher. They called it a thrilling work of post-Biden neo-post-modernism. Your hard work has gotten me a huge book deal. Its gonna be big. Huge. Im gonna be rich now. You thought you were just shitposting, but actually you were paying for my three month holiday around the azures. Im gonna be famous and fuck loads of women because you spammed all this stupid shit haha. I exploited your work for my gain, just because i could. Maybe your honour, sense of good will or laziness stopped you cashing in. But not me. Good luck with your own work, lads, you fucking plebs, the bad guy won. I won. I piss on you all
>>25557020Well, as long as it’s out there touching hearts and minds
I'm up, I'm up, will get it together in the next few hours
>>25555626
>>25557166
>>25557195
>>25557211Please enjoy /lit/'s longest masturpiece yet, Cocksucking: A User's Manualhttps://files.catbox.moe/lnngrl.pdf
>>25556701Yeah i start to get 4chan dreams after a while too. Fartletics competition was peak for sure, people more or less in sync, but there were good moments afterwords. This is still my favorite paragraph.>>25557020I definitely want to compile a short story collection of these after a while, not to publish but just to have as a document.
Any suggestions for future iterations?
>>25557249There have already been a few attempts here to parody Ulysses and Divine Comedy (not very successful ones, though) - maybe we could try following something one thread per section, or I don't know.
OP please post the whole thing in images in a new thread if you can
>>25557317Nah I'm on vacation now, also I suspect that thread will test janny patience more than these. But you're welcome to do it yourself, here's a ZIPhttps://files.catbox.moe/837vqu.zipAlso here's the .ODT in case anybody feels like fixing any typos or generally cleaning uphttps://files.catbox.moe/1co82u.odt
>>25557236i'm very pleased with this, good story.
>>25557357story?
>>25557236ggs OP>>25557249/lit/ rewrites [some novella or story] one paragraph at a time.
>>25557249One complete sentence at a time
>>25557360yes I learned a valuable moral lesson.
One prolapse at a time
>>25557368i'd love to know what that lesson was
>>25557244Btw i think half of the main paragraph from your quote is some faggot samefagging. He was caught doing it elsewhere, and its the same style. Takes the shine off a lot of the work unfortunately
>>25557392Maybe but it works there, the idea of somebody melancholically eating corn on the cob really tickles me. I know the paragraph you're talking about, agreed it doesn't work as well there
>>25557392>>25557407Yeah, I don't get the fun in that, or how somebody could take themselves seriously enough to even bother doing it outside of straight up trolling. Nothing to do about it though, and I don't think it ruins the doc, it's just weird and lame.
>>25557413Honestly I kinda like the idea of a little oasis of real prose in the desert of shitposts. The most obnoxious thing about that paragraph is when samefag kept steamrolling, e.g.>She looked at Byron, tossing himself [Nimrod had twelve minutes until his pension] against the waves. Suddenly her stomach droppedinstead of going with the flow and telling us more about Nimrod's pension
Announcing the end in advance turned out to be a dismal failure, but maybe it's because the wheels had already fallen off by that point. Will try that same tactic again in a future thread with a shorter story.
>>25557417>I kinda like the idea of a little oasis of real prose in the desert of shitpostsagree
>>25557361>/lit/ rewrites [some novella or story] one paragraph at a time.Intruiging. What stories are well-known enough to do this? My first thought is The Lottery
>>25557425The hungry caterpillar
>>25557425I've been thinking of the Metamorphosis done that way, especially since it's already got an absurd premise to work with. But that's on the long side. I've imagined it being done like the old paint-by-numbers you'd see on /v/ in the past, where something like boxart is broken into a grid. Could do that in stages, to help with cohesion, but an image is way more forgiving than a story, and I have a hard time figuring what the right way to do it would be; it feels like it'd need a lot of guardrails, which would kill the fun (or demand a lot of editing, which would also kill the fun), and breaking it into paragraphs would make it pretty easy to grief or to take over for a single poster. Revise a paragraph until OP gives it the green light ("needs X Y Z then we're good")? Write a bunch then another stage of re-writes to connect them before moving on in the story?
>>25557419I liked it, you get a feeling of urgency on that last page, like reality is being unbound from all these perspectives, and I tried to make it feel suitably apocalyptic
>>25557558Oooooh I really like the idea of doing The Metamorphosis, or at least titling the threads "/lit/ remakes The Metamorphosis" and seeing what happens. I fully expect it to devolve into nonsense, but that's why I love it>>25557573Not wrong.
>>25557558In my opinion, the only option is to split the text into (thematic?) pieces for each thread and have a group of people who can at least try to keep the narrative within some sort of structure. And that’s the whole point of the game, to make sure it doesn’t just turn into ordinary shitposting.
>>25557558This is a great idea. Now I have to read it finally.
>>25557691ngl I (OP here) am way too lazy to do these logistics, but (as always) I encourage other anons to make these threads! They generate something golden every time.I'll probably make my next move later this week once October rolls around, unless there's a project under way already.
cya boys, thanks for a fun 12 days. Stay tuned.
cya
