Countryside Edition Previous >>25560981
>>25562116That one famous picture of Knut Hansum looks dumb.
Leading on girls is always more fun than leading on guys. With the later the mere fact of being liked by them feels degrading because you basically need to put yourself down to be likeable. With the former, often times they end up being beggars who can’t be choosers, so that even autistic loser incel like myself is somewhat in demand.
spent the whole day repeating shit like "i wanna kill myself" "i'm a worthless vermin" out loud and writing it in scraps of paper and singing it in front of the mirror and so on. I reek and I am disgusted and my brain is rotten by youtube and porn and video games and being a bitch. I want out of this reality. I wanted to be a father but I don't really trust myself to handle even simple things so I would just give my wife a lot of work and raise an unhappy child
>>25562150I’m sure you are extremely cutie-patootie vermin, you are just too hard on yourself
>>25562166I kinda wish I didn’t accompany my post with imagery
There's a lot of esoteric and occult knowledge in Arthur C Clarke's books. A lot of satanism & transhumanism, and don't forget the pederasty.
Growing the hair out is fucking annoying. I keep kicking myself for not starting it around 2023-2024. My real life may start in my fourties I guess.
I legitimately think /lit/ will like the big story I've been writing. I confess sometimes I write it with /lit/ in mind. Well, I mostly write it for myself, but I do write it sometimes and I think what the threads about it on /lit/ will be like, when it breaches critical mass and people start to read it.
Realizing my stomach isn't as strong as I thought is really bruising my ego and killing my anus.
why is EVERYTHING so fucking terrible
>>25562199>Russian warship, go fuck yourself!
>>25562194we are harsh critics but fair.
This year has been so bad that in desperation I started praying to God. Since then, I've felt at peace. While I still don't believe in a old bearded man sitting on a cloud in the sky, and I'm not even sure I believe in a God per se, I'm not an atheist anymore.
>>25562203You rarely get good criticism on /lit/; it's usually just bitter anons who want to tear people down or force their views on what a novel/short story/poem ought to be rather than taking in the work as it stands. Although I will admit, when criticism is good, it is very good.
>>25562196I punch myself as hard as I can in the abdomen every so often.>>25562210Christian atheist, hehe.
What exactly is so terrible in your lives? Have you tried not being pussies? I personally enjoy my life more and more with each year.
>>25562253Wish I had fuck off money or some patron to learn what I want and not what I need to survive aka work.
>>25562210> While I still don't believe in a old bearded man sitting on a cloud in the sky,Nobody asked you to believe this!!!
>>25562255Good for you to have a desire to learn. I only do so that I get to brag in the comment section, otherwise it makes no sense.
>>25562255This is dumb. At the end of the day financial independence is all you have to yourself.
>>25562269I didn't mean to learn just for the sake of it.
oh how I wish I was born Jewishpreferably with eyes blueish
Redditors talking about sex will never not be funny. I especially like the fat women who fantasize about maga grandpas.
>>25562310And also some beautiful titian hair My life would’ve been without any care!
>>25562327>titianhuh I thought the word for that was tawny
>>25562330Tawny doesn’t fit the rhythm, and I meant deep ginger like the one Marcia Cross had in Desperate Housewives.
>>25562340Sorry, I didn't mean that as in I was trying to correct you, just I wasn't familiar with the word titian, and was surprised when I looked it up!
cats n dogs are trolls and catfishes are human, perceptive, gentle creatures.
>>25562343Oh, no problem at all!
I wonder if in the future they'll look at the extreme difference in how women use makeup on their face and men don't at all and find it bizarre.
>>25562116I think once a woman was willing to have sex with me. But I spent our whole time in private you just prodding and grabbing her bodyparts. I assume she was willing because she asked me if I wanted to see her tits and rgab them. I said sure, saw them, they weren't very noteworthy.It's because of this I don't call myself an incel. It feels like stolen valor.
>>25562383I did that once too but in my case I didn't want to sleep with her because she was way too old for me.
>>25562383>It's because of this I don't call myself an incel.It kinda nice though. You’ve got all the status of having sex without inevitable responsibility that comes afterwards. To me it’s not sexless life that is problem - I can wank it to porn - but the lack of status and position as a respectable member of society.
>>25562384I’m gonna be completely honest, that’s legit reason too. It may seem like nothing in theory, but actually it’s not.
>>25562384>she was way too old for me.14?
>>25562396zing!Nah I was 22 and she was at least 48, and a rough one at that. We were pretty high -- I needed the ride to score!
I'm starting to believe God allowed the creation and rapid progression of AI so I wouldn't feel bad about not going to college, because all the jobs are gonna be obsolete and abolished anyway.
what is the gay homosexual lolita
>>25562409Mann's Death in Venice
>>25562384She's gotten fat ever since we stopped being teens. I kind of wish I would have gotten to the point of being able to just touch her to my heart's content while she was still a reasonably shaped person. But it's no biggie.Also I second the other guy, that's a totally legit reason to not go through with it.>>25562386As I understand it, qualifying as a fakecel already precludes you from suffering the worst of it. I hope you are able to get a fulfilling life in some way.
>>25562402>because all the jobs are gonna be obsolete and abolished anyway.how is this going to be the case exactly?
>>25562416I should say, most of the white collar jobs that require a college-education will be obsolete and done by AI.
>>25562416I think he means all the highly skilled jobs demanding college education. Which is not literally true, but imo is functionally true.
>>25562418>>25562419jinx! You owe me a soda.
>>25562419I say functionally because I think nearly all of those industries are going to downsize massively within the next five years. Leaving only a highly skilled core of 'praetorian' professionals overseeing a legion of agents, most of whom will be industry veterans and well established professionals with talent, with the odd hyper-driven virtuoso newcomer tossed in.It is in short, not the environment I'm going to thrive in, imo. I do not have it in me to re-create a one man East Asian education from first principles and then subject myself to it. It's not like I can summon passion from thin air, either.I've been contemplating trying to start a religion, unironically. Becoming some sort of con-man just to make a living. I don't have bright prospects.
>>25562439>I've been contemplating trying to start a religion, unironically. Becoming some sort of con-man just to make a living. I don't have bright prospects.I'll teach you how to do it for the low price of $79.99 a month.
>>25562418>>25562419>>25562430you are baka copium the white collar jobs would be made much easier than before nothing is going to be obsolete there always be people who gets paid for
I'm racist and I DGAF
>>25562443...my initial post was me literally admitting my copium. Plus, like the other anon said, I don't mean literally obsolete, but massive downsizing that'll at least make me feel better about not having gone to college and got a white-collar job because then I can always say "well I would have been laid off anyway!"
>>25562441Woah there, being such a succesful busines- I mean Prophet must be exhausting! Are you sure you do not want to recover energies by buying my enlightened $50 lizard Gonad supplements? For just $39.99 more I'll throw in a free 250 g packet of my patented PrimalKum™ Milt & Kratom wellness supplement.
Stem monkey anon here, so should I legitimately stop slacking off or should I double down on my classical language studies while being on clock? What’s the takeaway?
>>25562414>As I understand it, qualifying as a fakecel already precludes you from suffering the worst of it.It was nice while it lasted. I almost felt back from the dead.
https://www.researchgate.net/publication/386897447_Photo-Realistic_Talking_Face_Generation_under_Latent_Space_Manipulationresearcher trying to do foto-realistic changes in the face, understanding landmark detection and identifying semantic facial directions. Basically where the main points of the front are, and in which directions it may vary and change if corrupting it. should the corners of the mouth move in or out? How does the face change, if they push it to far or does it make even sense to watch the small, little details or will it go backwards and distort everything? The part where they do "contrastive learning" to align audio and video i find particulary interesting, since there can be lip sync errors. Though largely i do find it easy to believe a video, even if the details are mismatched. I do not have insight though, so i cannot judge ultimately.I just know these soul savers of future generations may be blessed for creating the steps to move up humanity a notch. Which, ironically, is to strip the veil by creating a technological simulation.
>>25562462You kust do what you think is right, of course
i never know wether you understand me. I dont know what you see and how to move so that you can. you dont owe me closure. i just need to make sense of what reaches to me, and there is so much. help me to discern and to find peace. I cannot give you reasons why you should or shouldnt. Im just pleading to the stars guiding those, who got lost at sea.
>>25562491Apparently it’s over. I will leave and you will move on.
>Try to use proper punctuation, grammar, and spelling whenever I type or text someone. >Try to use an expanded vocabulary.>Get accused of talmin like some finna sephiroth, talking like an anime villain, "talking white", or some other variation. I'm going to go insane.
>>25562203>>25562203>fairlol noit's mostly reddit-tier advice, but coated with bitterness and envy.
>>25562465Do you want to talk in private?
>>25562507The only time I've seen anyone get accused of talking like Sephiroth is when they start making grandilocuent declarations about things that are not worth the effort.
>>25562507But it is a shame that it happened to you, Mr. Hood Weeb. I hope you find better acquaintances among whom you can flourish.
Is anonymous from Tegan and Sara forum in this room with us?
I think her major shortcoming was her inability to evaluate how damaged I am as an individual. It’s really not worth it at all.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Hf_L4mY4yI0
I appreciate you typing all of this info out. I had heard the term “gooning” but the word itself sounded so icky, I never looked before. I am so thankful for you sharing this info with us!!! I feel sick to my stomach and I’ll reading this but am grateful to have the information now to protect myself and others.
>>25562491Why the fuck are you typing like that?
>>25562593I am gooning to this post right now
>>25562539Started seeing this girl who saw how damaged I was, and not only accepted it, but in a weird way helped me come to terms with it and remove the self-hate I felt over it. Makes me feel good, man. But I have a very strong suspicion she does this to a lot of broken and lonely men, so she will never actually be just mine.
Have you been offline because you decided to turn over a new leaf, or are you just scared? :(
>>25562613Too spooky for me.
>>25562616What do you mean too spooky? Explain.
>>25562620Fear is an emotion some animals feel. Too much of that becomes paralyzing. What if I like it offline? Become a normie? Ugh.
>>25562627Okay but why were you afraid?
>>25562629Because the adults were dicks and I didn't have the theory of mind to extrapolate anything else to the rest of the world.
>>25562633Why are you telling me this? Obviously my original post was not about you??
>>25562636We know that now after going through the leading questions. It's a concept called science maybe you've heard of it.
My partner is the nice quiet guy and doesn’t leer or make comments about women’s appearances - how was I supposed to know they had a secret obsession with other women’s feet?I feel disgusted with myself for being kind to someone who was a misogynist and objectifier.
>>25562636because he’s in the write your thoughts thread
>>25562639Why don’t you fuck off, you smug condescending asshole
>>25562642Thanks for blogging about it sugar tits.
>>25562645No. I am glad you're mad though. Keep doing that.
you give me the reasonyou give me control I gave you my purity and my purity you stole
>>25562648Making everything about yourself is a really bad look. You can’t whine about your childhood forever.
Dad was put in the hospital a week ago. They found some mass in his lung. We are waiting for the tests and the final diagnosis. I haven't talked with anyone about how I feel about this. I can't put this load on my mother or my brother right now. I'm not even sure if I can just open up with friends or family members and the fact that I even considered talking to a psychologist is kind of sad.Even typing this was difficult for me.A month ago I used to complain about living with my parents and the constant noise, and now I'll give everything I have to have the old man sitting in the couch blasting the TV 24/7.I just hope everything turns OK.Love your parents anons, you never know when something like this can happen.
>>25562669Yes I can and if it makes you seethe I get to do it with throbbing erection. Also, your one post on 4chan is not everything. Consider reigning in your bloated ego if you ever want to see the rest of the world as it is.
I found out a few months ago my husband was in a relationship with AI cartoon "women". He was doing this on and off back to early 2025 from what I can tell. He was extremely into it regularly from around August to December last year. From what I found through this Google play store account, he was playing it sometimes up to 12 hours a day.
>>25562116The Thessalian hero—the brave, fleet-footed warrior—remains the quintessential embodiment of Hellenic courage. As the *Iliad* portrays him, he is a fierce warrior who embraces danger and seeks combat for its own sake; driven by a steadfast code of honor, he never compromises on the duties he imposes upon himself. His noble sentiments endear him to others, while the impetuous passions that lead to his undoing evoke our pity.
Are you with someone else now?
>>25562116Why are bitches especially the asian/white ones so obsessed with travel?>muh journey of self-discoverythe fuck are discovering about yourself? how to suck 37 cocks on a row and that most of people will "love" you (aka your money) in the places you visit
>>25562672hope it all works out.
>>25562741All of my life I lived in small and provincial towns, and - let’s call a spade spade - I always felt somewhat less because of that. Traveling is like this fantasy of being a part of something fancy and interesting, and respectively being fancy and interesting yourself by proxy. One of my best birthdays to date was my thirty third birthday that I’ve celebrated in Prague. I didn’t select an appropriate wardrobe for the trip, and that was stupidest fucking mistake because cool clothes do enhance the experience. All in all, I understand these people.
>>25562672Dude, I’m so sorry. I contemplated whether I shall comment because I have something to say on the topic I’m not comfortable writing even anonymously. Anyways let’s hope it all turns out okay. Fingers crossed!
>>25562596its the write your thoughts and i wrote about me feeling that things speak to me, where i feel related to and the need to make sense about it, to lift the veil and understand bigger concepts and correlations and finding peace with how it all connects. its the yearning for coherence and my inabilty to reach through and finding answers, that i know exist. Do you know what i mean?
>>25562116Reading boomercore paperbacks has done more for me than classical lit and philosophy.
>>25562150I started replacing that with "I don't want to kill myself" as a thought replacement technique.In the end though I'm still psychotically chanting to myself whenever I do something slightly cringe. So to the passing observer its the same effect. Better to just not get in the habit of reflexively saying things out loud to yourself.
suicide is kind of ridiculous, isn’t it? a sort of faustian pact. thinking there is an escape from reality, just by exiting life. i think there’s no escape, and suicide is another trap.
>>25562794Oh yeah, imagine being trapped in your own body if things go south
>>25562780Are you ESL or something?
>>25562780He in fact does not know what you mean because he doesnt want to.
Today i called in sick. Im going to play some persona today and hopefully will feel better. Ive been playing guitar much of the morning doing alot of playing along to tab videos. Its gonna be a chill day hopefully will feel better by tomorrow. Gotta do some writing too ive been really excited by this new story im working on as of late
>>25562798if you’re in intolerable pain (or if your health costs are going to bankrupt your family), then suicide is reasonable. but for a reason like you’re just tired of living, it’s ridiculous. whatever created us,what gave us (through meanness or kindness) the thing you’re trying to rid yourself of, is surely cleverer than us. you can’t outsmart it. it’s your lot.like it or not you play your hand.
I need to resign myself to never receiving closure from you, buy I can’t.
I hate language change; language must be, at the very least, retrocompatible; If we say "I" instead of "Ich", it is because of our lack of virtue and education; staring at my (ill-formed) reflection on a mirror hurts less than studying etymology.
>>25562751>>25562773Thank you anons.
I've been targeted, stalked, harassed, and psychologically tortured by the joint threat research intelligence group for a few years now. The beginning was the most concerning part because they were threatening to set me up, spammed nasty shit wherever I went, knocked on and stared through the windows, and had a drone on me. It has an effect on your mental health when a lot of people really are out to get you, don't abide by the same rules as anyone else, and know everything you've ever said, typed, and seen. This goes back over 10 years so they're bound to find something that effects you at some point. While browsing 4chan, I've noticed these people make references only you'll understand, often using multiple in the same thread so you know it's them. They can see whatever you do through the router too, so you're living in a real panopticon dystopia. Always watched by government psychopaths who want you dead. I should add that I haven't planned to do terrorist shit and I'm not involved in any organisation, I don't take more than 20 steps a day and this is still happening to me. Everyone thinks I'm insane. They've also fucked with my search results, I've seen cryptic messages in them. It's a shame because everything I'm describing sounds like schizophrenia, but it's really happening. I don't understand why they'd spend so many years and resources targeting me. It pisses me off. The people behind it are the same people who run /Brit/ generals and probably all 5eyes countries. Dirty tricks. It's annoying because these are the same people organise terrorism and false flag operations and I'm being fucked with by them. Insane world. How do the people who do this live with themselves? It's disgusting. Low people. Torture as a job. Psychopaths. I've seen them do this to others as well, someones cat died and they said he killed it. It's just sad. On top of all that, the internet is dead. It's all bots now and the world is decaying, dangerous, and dystopian. There's nothing left. If this wasn't happening to me I would have no problems in life. It didn't take long to make me realise what it really was. I never invested anything into this so I have nothing to lose. Dust to dust. Have to leave sometime
>>25562800>ESLin fact i am and when read in german it translates to ESEL, which means donkey and thats pretty much how i feel about me trying to connect the dots. >>25562804>doesnt want to.yea i had the same impression. but why posting then?
>>25562859Same reason monkeys pull dog tails.
>>25562854As per security sub, ain’t nobody has resources for this kind of surveillance, and likely you are law abiding little nobody that Big Government couldn’t give two shits about. Like everyone is stalked by corporations to send some targeted advertising to, but to them you are user ID 31604d47-387c-45fb-85d8-53586002fced and they don’t care yet to tie that data to your actual credentials.
I saw your fucking poem last year I’m not stupid
>>25562854Have you ever had people online calling you out for watching certain YouTubers on certain days even though you never mentioned the fact publicly?
>>25562210do you believe in the truth of revelation?
>>25562907As in how do we know the wind exists because the leaves move? Its reasonable to assume someone can surmise your position came from.(insert eceleb here) based on your rhetoric.
>>25562918It was a couple of videos about traveling to Japan, there isn’t much to surmise
>>25562889That's why it pisses me off, it shouldn't be happening, but it is. I've experienced it. It's just a fucking insane authoritarian time to be alive right now. >>25562907No, they make references to everything about me really. I talked to them through the URL bar in a Brit /int/ thread maybe a year ago. A literal conversation. They said I should go Amish. They're not always evil, they're just really fucking disgusting when they are
>>25562923I know in eceleb spaces there are unhinged discord morons who gangstalk people that follow youtubers they dont like and a lot of them are brit bongers so there is precedent for this. Maybe you clicked something you shouldn't have and they gained access to your machine or are tracking your youtube account somehow. Hopefully you figure it out how they're doing it or they fuck off, but it does sound a lot like schizophrenia.
>>25562940I have no other symptoms of schizophrenia, I don’t blame anyone but this particular person. No other people, voices, any kind of flying colorful blobs or shit. That’s the filthiest thing they did - they arranged everything in a way that I have little proof of what they did* so whenever I vent about what happened I will be discarded as crazy person. It could’ve been understandable - I’m a stranger from online board, they got no reason to trust me, and I could’ve torn down their entire career if I had said proof, like I get it. But they somehow emotionally manipulated me into a position where I allegedly owe them shit, and they owe me nothing. If we are BOTH anonymous strangers, keep it in the lane and don’t tell me what I should or shouldn’t do.*little because I saw some other person posting about their friend who also happened to be that person’s target. I used to have that message saved, but not anymore. Going back to my case, it all started as a small group of people in Facebook chat. They could’ve used pictures of strangers to create an illusion of group, but there was other person whom I believe to be real participant. Once they send me a picture of some toiletries from their bathroom and asked me to pick an object for them to take picture with, I picked and they did, so I guess that proves they were real person who witnessed this entire shtick.
I went for a walk the other day and I came upon three different older women (probably ~55-60) who saw me, stopped, waited for me to catch up and walk by so they could leer and smile at me. Which is to say, nice to know even the older ladies are finding me attractive, it means I've really grown into my face, but I hope it doesn't mean young girls 18-25 are gonna stop being into me because now I look too old.
>gangstalking>targeted individualGet help. Immediately.
>>25562116how do you cope with pic related? you see people who look like fucking angels and then you look into the mirror and want to punch it >in the end life doesn't matter bro, we all going to be dust in the wind in the endyeah yeah, i know that shit already
>>25563032You focus on becoming rich and/or successful in your career and the ladies will come.
I'm risk adverse to a pathological point
>>25563032sell last three cards as rare on ebay
>>25562874trolling?
>>25563045Yes.
I'm just a fat fucking Jew.
>>25562913Anon isn't going to have any divine truth revealed to him until he picks up the Holy Bible.
>>25563041You need to get over that.
>>25563032I don't think virtually any billionaire looks like a Chad.You're being a baby.Stop it.
I miss you.
>>25563032Dude on the right looks perfectly normal. His girlfriend could be totally hot for all you know. Lots of women wanna be fucked by Shrek or Danny Devito or whatever.
>>25562741Been on the dating apps lately? That's mostly where I see this stuff. It's just a wealth signifier. You see a lot of them talking about golf and martinis too.
I have schizophrenia and most likely won't ever be in a position to financially support a family.Shit sucks.
I almost admire people who don't get sock of re-hashing their trauma to create art. I got tired of re-opening wounds just for inspiration for stories. Maybe that's why I haven't finished anything longer than a flash fiction in years. That's what I get for trying to heal.I also wrestle with the fact that I can't imagine any future where I'm genuinely content in life, and it makes it hard to write an ending to a story. I don't even know how to build my own life, how would I build one for a character that feels appropriate.
I almost envy people who re-hash their trauma for the sake of creating art. I got tired of re-opening wounds just for inspiration for stories. Maybe that's why I haven't finished anything longer than a flash fiction in years. That's what I get for trying to heal.I also wrestle with the fact that I can't imagine any future where I'm genuinely content in life, and it makes it hard to write an ending to a story. I don't even know how to build my own life story, how would I build one for a character that feels appropriate.
I can't wait until the Democrats take control of the government and tax all the Republicans and give it to Democrats.
>>25563193I also have no idea what this government stuff is all about. Do we vote for the king or what?
>>25563211I think it's like where you vote to point a gun at the head of everyone who disagrees with you.
>>25562116You're a petty, cruel, astonishingly insecure, and resentful person who's 30 years old and still leaning on that disaffected "internet cool" pose. Why would I want to befriend the human embodiment of r/rs_x? I think a night out with you would go like this -- we go with a crowd to a dive bar that you excitedly describe as a dive bar, you get drunker and drunker as you talk shit about everyone you know, and the night ends with you drunkenly sobbing about how you don't think anyone will ever truly love you. I wish you peace, and happiness, and health. I do. I really really do. But I wish it far, far away from me
>>25563193democrats are cowards and only do things polls tell them to do, obama didnt even pass gay marriage, that was the supreme court.Democrats are ultimately cowards
>>25563223Who is this about?
I'm just a coward
I'm gonna make a country song called "Do You Think God Likes Coca-Cola?" It's gonna be a fuckin' hit.
>>25563129>>25563240Same person?
I don't like using my PC with the curtains open because anyone walking outside can see what I'm viewing, but I don't like keeping the curtains closed, either. Is there something out there that covers the lower half of my windows?
>main character of book has same first name as I doCool!
The Japanese government has requested for years that westerners stop reversing their name order and follow the correct eastern order like we do with Chinese and Korean names (ie it's Abe Shinzo, not Shinzo Abe, just like it's Xi Jinping, not Jinping Xi) yet everyone just.....refuses. Like for some reason we respect the Japanese less and keep flipping their names around.
having fun randomly shouting>scuh-REAMin the comfort of my own home
>>25563237A Twitter personality with a touch over a thousand followers who lives in my (regional, southern) city.
>>25563274A collection of tall books. Or a string in t middle of the window which you could hang some curtains on
>>25563274Hang a blanket.
>>25563041The correct phrase is ‘risk-averse,’ not ‘risk-adverse’
Anon getting home from work late and flopping to bed still half dressed!Anon eating cup ramen and drinking bottom shelf liquor out of the bottle during his time off!Anon getting scolded by his boss! Kagami showing up late to a meeting! Kagami staying after hours to fix a product for the third time! Anon missing the last train and sleeping in his cubicle!Anon noticing crows' feet on his face!Anon looking at pictures from his high school years!Anon getting stood up on a date!Anon getting rejected!Anon who never checks his phone because no one ever calls him!Anon huddled under the covers crying himself to sleep quietly!Anon with no friends! Friendless Anon! Anon all alone!
>>25562116I go to the library or the used bookstore or the art museum and feel at home, I go to the talk or the reading or the opening reception and feel like an alien.
>>25563391oddly moving post
666*69=45954666,69,999;)
>>25563391I think that deer might be a bit drunk
What are you so afraid of?
Hell.That's really about it, and I don't even believe in it.
>>25563449Meant for>>25563444
I really shouldn’t have to explain the concept of privacy to someone above the age of 12.
>>25563454Elaborate.
>>25563454the government has special needs. please be patient.
I’m a neet and make no money but I larp as a cia agent
If only I was paid for this…
>>25562896What poem
You’ve never once actually got me beyond the flashlight
I wish I had more willpowerI wish I could resist temptation betterI know what's right and what's wrong but I also know what's pleasurable and what's painful or boring. Temptation isn't loud, it snuggles up close to me and croons into my ear and reminds me how nice it would feel to do it just a little bit. Just one more time, that's all. You can quit tomorrow. It's not even that bad, it says, these days it's even accepted, you're not hurting anyone, no one has to know. It's even celebrated in some places. It feels good and you're attracted to this anyway so just give in?I have to distract myself somehow when this happens. If I dwell on it then inevitably it wins, because I have to continually resist and it only has to convince me once. I can't help what my desires are but I can control whether I act on them. It's just that controlling myself is so much harder than I thought.
I wish birds weren't scared of people, I would like to approach a sparrow and place it in my palm and gently caress it
>>25563485bless your pure heart anon
>>25563471Damn straight. Such poem -much WOW!
>>25563485leave the bird alone lenny
Time to induce a brief state of controlled psychosis so I can talk to my imaginary son, the CIA, and possibly God.Good times.https://youtu.be/LwgRoy057wc?is=tq6a12YM2ha16-lI
>>25562116... :(
Gonna start checking the Yahoo! Finance page every morning.
think i’ve arrived at a workable state of alcoholism. gin. not my favourite drink but doesn’t give me hangovers (not that i suffer badly with them generally), i’ve heard other people say this too. probably largely myth but i had half a bottle last night in gin & tonics and woke up (at 3am, weird sleeping schedule) feeling fresh. had a cold corona then a slice of watermelon. i cooked some bratwurst with paprika and ate them with tzatziki. living like nietzsche in the mountains. popped in a 33mg ‘siberia’ nicotine pouch and have been sitting about in my room, feeling extremely peaceful and, on the whole, that civilisation has got quite a lot going for it.
>>25563475What flashlight?
It really is annoying when you completely just like get everything wrong.
Has anyone here actually bought a fleshlight before? Worth or not really?
>>25563537You will never get a gf being a drinking mess like that, but kudos to you for at least giving up cigs
>>25563616Don’t buy cheap stuff - they are going to go out of the order too soon, and you will never know what was the reason: was it a bulb socket, or battery, or wire, or something else.
I understand that I cannot feel love. Remember, now, that I have always starved for it. I have always starved for love. How pathetic must I be? I am ugly, I am disgusting, I am unclean; I am alone. For years, I thought it cruel that I was a such-and-such afflicted, but I have become very inert. I have realized that it never made a difference. Whatever component of the human experience provides the capacity for love is missing from me. I am missing more than a heart, much more.But nothing I have written has come any closer to describing this than had I not written at all. Language is itself an obstacle to me. I find it to be adversarial, in a sense very tangibly so. Never has a word ever gotten one closer to truth. In fact, it is an inescapable truth that each and every word whether written or spoken drives one's image further and further from the self and into some faraway place, until it is its own being.I was a child when I began waiting for an angel. That is how these things begin, is it not? Knowing that I could not save myself, I put it all in the fragile hope that, one day, an angel would show itself and hold my hand; perhaps it would show me how to be human. If not, perhaps it would ... (I am not sure). Four walls, a door that never opened, a window, fifteen years. My hair recedes along my scalp, long, thin, ragged, spindling down a hollowed face. Two beady soulless eyes surrounded by dark circles. Expressionless. I was always an ugly child. I was called ugly myself first at the age of five. I cried in terror when I had to wear shorts, understanding that something was a heinous thing. In the mirror, I want to frown (smile, they always told me) and I smile. Gnarled, yellow teeth bespeckled with black holes. For a second, do I feel something?I think you know that angels are not real. Never once did that door open. Yes, I am alone. So very alone. Yet, why do I feel so indifferent? (Why do I wait beside the door?) No, I know this much: I am not human.
>>25563635I have lied about it all. Some things, maybe all. I have seen an angel. I have felt an angel's touch. Then, that much more shame, knowing even they could not save me. I am irredeemable.
>>25563628oh no i didn’t give up cigs. i just like a zyn from time to time its a different kind of rush. i’ve never really had a hard time meeting girls.
O friend far away, my spirit flies to thee tonight. Be well! Bless thee!
>>25563635>Gnarled, yellow teeth bespeckled with black holes.There’s really no excuse to have such bad oral hygiene. However, I am sorry for your situation and hope you can find some comfort.
Today’s day off, but I’m awake since God knows when because I need to get my bloodwork done. The only highlight is that I have some pizza to have when I’m back (can’t eat a thing before giving blood).
I'm getting tired of hearing the word "slop."
>>25563651kys junkie scum
I'm dumb as rocks
IT'S ALMOST OCTOBER!
Serious theism and nihilism are inseparable. To be a serious theist is to understand, accept, and celebrate the fact that God is Nothing, and that this Nothing is God’s innermost and necessary principle. Nihilism, as conviction in nothing, is accordingly not only compatible with but impossible to distinguish from serious theism.There can be no center, no foundation of existence, since the Center and the Foundation isn’t just nonexistent but the Nonexistent-Itself.“The world is held up by nothing, means nothing, is nothing.” This is a true, good, and beautiful statement. Likewise for the “soft” nihilisms: existential, moral, &c. God, being the Good and therefore the One and therefore Non-Being, and Non-Being, being the One and therefore the Good and therefore God, is not a self, a discontinuous, self-relational entity. This means: no mind, no will, no personality, no investment in beings, or, indeed, in being itself. (Assigning these things to God not only insults Her, but is, in fact, the fundamental problem with religious theology, from which all others naturally emerge.) Accordingly, She doesn’t “create” (since “creation” implies the intention of a creative subject), doesn’t decide meaning, and neither determines nor serves as the effective basis of morality. Instead, these things, being artifacts of reality as such, emerge secondarily from, and at base only out of love for, God.Nihilism, consciousness of the nothingness of the world and everything in it, as itself a vehicle for ecstasy. This seems obvious to me. Weil: “Nothing which exists is absolutely worthy of love. We must therefore love that which does not exist.”
>>25563658I’m not as offended as I am intrigued - what is that about my message that rendered me junkie scum?
I deserve to be put down like the fat, fucking Jew I am.
>>25563673Jews are stuck in the quantum superposition of being 100% based and 100% cringe at all times.
>>25563673Cut on sugar and carbs, bee the slim springy Jew you are always meant to be
Fuck this miserable year, nothing good has come out of it.
I literally cannot stop eating, somebody please help me. Do I have a tapeworm?
>>25563686Chances are you are just bored and trying to entertain yourself with taste. What helps me is to find a hobby that requires having your hands clean like knitting, sewing, crocheting. Reading too, given how anal I am with my books, but hopefully you have healthier relationship in that regard.
>>25563691>knitting, sewing, crochetingi’d rather be fat.
Just cleaned my fan. And by that I mean I pulled all the dust out of it w/ chopsticks & now I can feel its breeze a lot better. Tomorrow I'll get up early & clean my room.
>>25563696You are officially crossed out from the list of people to receive knitted tabi socks for Christmas!
At the end of the day, it's the end of the day.
the bret easton ellis podcast is really good
Today was a nice quiet morning, and I enjoyed the change of routine. Too bad I have no imagination to add more novelty to my life otherwise.
This'll probably sound crazy but watching the show Entourage makes me want to become a better man. A more manly man, certainly.
the future of western civilization is neo feudalism as the AI takes all the jobs and renders everyone who isnt already rich into a peasant. western countries will become similar to the congo, vast in wealth because of minerals, but lacking in anyone willing to invest in the improvement of society
>>25563740we'll see about that.
>>25563748Unlike previous feudal orders, thisone may prove uniquely resistant to revolution, because the mechanisms of enforcement (autonomousweapons, AI surveillance, algorithmic propaganda) do not require human cooperation and thereforecannot be undermined by human dissent
>>25563296Japanese names have no 'flow' to them when you say them in the proper order. Seriously, try it.Miyamoto ShigeruMiyazaki HayaoAbe Shinzo
>>25563523maybe start checking netanyahu finance page
Honestly I am very fucking tired of playing whack-a-mole with my constant nonsensical delusions. No I am not having a press conference shut the fuck up. I have retarded shit like this pop up in my head every 5 minutes and it not only harms me mentally and emotionally but distracts from the shit that matters, it's a fucking curse and won't fuck off regardless of how hard I try. I've been dealing with this shit for at least 12 years now.
>>25562116I had an ambitious to read list this year, but real life stuff kept getting in the way. I recently had a major surgery, and thought at least I will be able to read then, but underestimated just how much pain I would be in, and how lightheaded I would be. It's been a week and a half and I can hardly read more than 5 pages without giving in.It wouldn't bother me so much but I've got far too many books, and have brought even more this year.
One side is done! Lewk at this cute lil Chewbacca :)
I fucking hate shitskins and jews so fucking much holy fucking shit, total kike and nigger death
It's really frustrating when you're actually being fucked with by the intelligence services and almost everyone who says they're being targeted or gangstalked are schizos to the extreme. Nobody believes you, you're thrown in with people who think they're being stalked because they see red cars or someone tying their shoelaces. Everyone thinks I'm insane. It's bothersome because I know that there won't be justice. They can get away with it because they wear the right uniform. It's ok to torture when it's for the government, it's good! Turn my mind into a black site. Do it for the government. It's good. Some people push the button when they're told to. Right and wrong is what an authority figure tells them is right and wrong. Go ahead and keep pushing the button. Shock me until I'm dead.
It's really fun how much internet culture and culture in general has changed. I remember the Internet being much more of a place to goof around and experiment. Nowadays people love to brag about their depravity and how traumatic their lives are. Not to say this wasn't always the case but there is a much greater emphasis on certain topics. It's much more enjoyable hearing about repetitive failures that many people are dealing with than joking around with your friends, laughing and telling extraordinary stories.
>>25562116just joined my university's socialist club. what am I in for?
>>25563537Take it from someone who's been there, this shit does catch up to you eventually. Enjoy it while it lasts though.
>>25562116Laying in bed recovering from surgery, wanting to read, but my reading glasses have broken. Great.
>>25564037pff yeah right. good times are gonna last forever.
>>25564043there must have been a mirror nearby.
'Cause I'm the type of nigga that's built to lastIf you fuck with me, I'll put my foot in your ass
>>25564029Smug scoffing -> that kind of make sense -> oh a qt, hello -> she's so smart she's right about everything -> you're not hearing me LTV makes sense -> The revolution will not be televised -> Hasan didn't even shock his dog you're falling for propaganda
love is a dangerous thing to an unloved man. a rambo meeting barbie in the middle of the woods, ha! such a foolish farce. fairytales don't exist.
In hindsight, instead of falling in love with literature and trying to be a writer, I should have fallen in love with film, gone to film school, and tried to be a director. At least there's money in film and TV shows...
>>25564142fairytales exist they’re lying nearly dead in the reeds. they’ve been there a while now.
>>25564149If the pursuit is money art is the wrong field entirely. Fall in love with excel spreadsheet instead and become a hedgie.
>>25564157I hate this rebuttal. Pursuit for money is another thing entirely. I'd be happy with just enough to rent a shitty apartment and afford food. And I'm not sure there's even that!
>>25564160The only good artist is a starving one You're going it! Now write.
>>25562116Just found some old Messages from a few months ago of me freaking out and thinking my Hotel was haunted. I sound like a lunatic.
>>25564157Tbh Anon, for people to do art they need to have to at least mantain themselves. Chekhov only began writing because he got paid to do so.
>>25564172I get that you resent the fact that no one is paying you to create, but the path forward is simple. Get a minimum wagie wagie and slave away at your craft when you have free time. That's the reality of what you're talking about. No one gave a fuck about Kafka when he was alive, literalaturally speaking.
The threat of being fired just makes me want to work less hard.
>>25564181two writers immediately come to mind that have said something disagreeing with this perspective (and it’s not something i’ve ever looked into intentionally). kingsley amis said he’d have never finished a novel if his wife’s father hadn’t died and left them a windfall that meant he could buy a bigger house with private study. wodehouse said it’s impossible to write a thing without a comfortable & easy footing in life. even homer had to earn his slices of roast mutton and cup of honey-sweet wine. shakespeare wanted to sell tickets. artists accounted for this. when picasso invented a new language of painting, cubism, he painted casserole dishes that every commoner had in their kitchen. they all wanted to persuade the public to accept their art. to do that, you have to play the part of a prostitute. put on a bit of make-up, be a little bit dishonest, you have to give something the public can follow.poetry is different.
>>25564189True, you can win a lottery or find a way to commoditize. I can see how the perspective may appear as an absolute claim. Other variations exist. I think the path I laid out is if not the road most traveled is at least the road that makes the most sense if the pursuit is art and resources are limited.
>>25564181Please stop psychologizing people you don't know. Excellence (in the visual arts, mostly ) requires a lot of time and effort you simply cannot properly dedicate to your craft if you are spending more than third of your day doing something else. Kafka repeatedly complained The Metamorphosis had a botched ending because of scheduling conflicts with his work.If you think that only perfectly self-sufficient Henry Darger types are true artists that's fine but you should not go around pretending this is some truth about the universe or that no art is to be found outside of that. Carvaggio wouldn't have been nearly as good if he couldn't make living of of masterpieces.
>>25564206Writing is also time intensive for other reasons, obviously. But imo easier to pick up because it's entirely intellectual.
>>25564197makes the most sense according to who(m)? (thou.) because the great dead artists seem to have done well by following the road you’ve just dismissed.
>>25564206Youre literally replying to a comment that agrees with you. I offered a path forward based in reality and if that makes you feel a type of way that's your journey to experience. You could channel it into an expression of art instead of pleading for me not to have an opinion That is also a choice. If you feel that you cannot be excellent by dedicating a hefty portion of your existence to self reliance then you won't be. I am not putting a moral weight onto that. It's your life live it how you want.
What was your fav song when you were sixteen? Do you remember?Mine was https://youtu.be/tVCUAXOBF7wThe girl I was into at the time was an edgy whore a few years older and I edited all her videos people shared in the provincial town I lived in into a music video to this track and it worked out really well when I sent her it. I didn’t even know her real name just the nickname. I still don’t.
>>25564223Past performance does not guarantee future results and no one great walked someone else's path. Its your life do what you want, but mechanically speaking action is much more preferable to woe is me. According to the rat pulling on my hair to make me type this.
>>25564211>>25564235Just fucking replied to myself. Oops.
>>25564235>no one great walked someone else's pathyou’re wrong about that. without a tradition any writer is adrift, nervously self-assertive, an individualist lost in a crowd of individualists. the old vein is not worked out.
>>25564248Okay. Stay the course. Good luck. There's wisdom in not trying to reinvent the wheel so a framework makes sense. My question is then when does novelty come in if you've only trained in following a map?
>>25564258novelty is not a goal. it’s the inevitable result of personality. if it’s conscious then it’s not worth much. being good is the goal. i think it was radiguet who said originality is trying to be like others and failing.
what are you guys currently reading?
>>25564265That makes sense. I am wrong about that. Training montage is fundamental short of extreme outliers.
>>25564276not how i would’ve worded it..
>>25564279We do a little shitposting.
>>25564294yeah rhat one’s still funny. anyway..
>>25564302Excuse me, are you sassing me? What the heck.
>>25564313i’m just still replying out of the kindness of my heart (it’s in my nature to be kind). but in the end we’re on the literature board and the balance of intellect has dipped and any future biographer would end the publication here >>25564265
>>25562116Both India and China have proven to be very resilient civilizations, but for different reasons, imo.
>>25564322Oh you're doing me a kindness. Thanks anon, but please stop. Also, very revealing that your journey ends at being right on the internet that one time. Many such cases.
>>25564326Egypt and Mesopotamia also reached old age, but imo I think the trick here was simply that the right compound to dissolve them had simply not been discovererd.
>>255643302017 trump quote count now at 2. all the best.for the record your journey started at standoffishly correcting an innocent anon who was basically on the right path and ended in ‘i was wrong’.
>>25564332That compound was Monotheistic universalism (&associates), by the way. Stupid Jews. Why did they have to be so religiously creative. Fucking Jews.Maybe you can also blame the Greeks for laying the groundwork for that, too.
>>25564333Ah yes, the hero emerged to squeak out a single (1) point so he may scurry away with a dub. Very cool and not at all telling of your hurt feelings to throw the journey line back at me. Good job. That Anon is surely to become a great writer now that you have rose up to protect the innocent from opinion.
>>25564336I say Jews because as far as I can tell they were the main engine behind that transformation. Zoroastrianism is weird as fuck in that regard, and it is the only real alternative. Unless you accept a Spengleresque idea that there was some intangible trnscendent force driving the people of the antique middle east in general that direction.
>>25564340just saying. if you posted your pedestrian take apropos of nothing i wouldn’t’ve bothered it’s your deigning to weigh in and correct an anon that sparked all this. people going around handing out wrong advice have historically savaged and trampled humanity.
I wish I could clone myself twice and run train on myself with myself
>>25564348It certainly doesn't come from Egypt and Mesopotamia, that's for sure. They were already well established and orthodox. And imo the Greeks (and Romans, you get it) are unlikely candidates for their own reasons.
>>25564349Good thing you're here to set the record straight lurking in the shadows rather than confront directly, because if were being really honest I bodied you and you had to look for other avenues to strike. Just because a skill requires a foundational core doesnt mean you can't get a job and sharpen your katana.
>>25564359>I bodied youeg?
>>25564362The journey post you left unanswered, yet felt compelled to mention as you were doing your heroic nothing personnel sign off.
>>25564366nothing what?the journey post being a dig at me for playing around the fact i was (by your word) right?
>>25564369Oh no now hes retarded. The reality is I stand on business and admit when I am wrong while you feint ignorance and only reveal the venom when you perceive an advantage. If it bothered you then speak then.
>>25564373‘business’ in this case equalling to:…?>feint ignoranceeg?do you watch ufc? max holloway was winning on points then gave gaethje the opportunity to just stand and punch it out in the centre. i say this apropos of nothing naturally.
>>25564379I dont think the fact that your raison d'etre is winning internet arguments would be a surprise to anyone.>eg The post I amreplying to now. The fact that you have no idea what business is in reference to.Its very self evident you're obfuscating. Not very heroic I might add. What would the innocent think?
>>25564387you’re the one who introduced ‘stand on business’ in an otherwise literary conversation.>winning internet arguments we’re just talking.
>>25564392And you're incapable of perceving nuance now. I know. C'est la vie.
>>25564396c'est le premier pas qui compte, of course
I whip my dick back'n'forthI whip my dick back'n'forth
>>25564397For someone worried about the fluidity of dynamics that's words to live by I am sure. The only thing that matters here is that you were right that one time.
>>25564408the one time being here and (et) now. which some philosophers would argue is everything. in any case they is becoming really boring should we continue the conversation in passable french?
>>25563783Pure psychological construction. It's only awkward because you're used to it being the other way around. You can see the same thing with the small number of Chinese and Koreans that we typically refer to in western name order, like Syngman Rhee. It sounds wrong to say Rhee Syngman (or, if we're being really accurate, Yi Seong-man), but it's only because you're not used to it. You think nothing of saying Park Chung-hee or Kim Jong-un.
>>25564417I dont speak passable French and it is not in the now it is most definitely a was sometime ago.
>>25564428forgive me! it was in fact an hour and half ago.
>>25564430And the turn tables have turned. Wrong? On the internet? How embarrassing.
>>25564432amazing isn’t it. two trump quotes, french expressions while not knowing french, claims told and not shown. heavens to betsy, you gotta be kidding, goshdarn it, the tarnation thing. well hell.
>>25564440>n-no uThe last bastion of the btdo'd. Allow me to return your kindness. Have the last word as my gift to (You).
>>25564450is that what i said? an apology is needed tho i’ve been capitalising on the yank angle in making fun but i realise now your probably esl.
After 26 years of chaotic searching since the incident and then four years of intense educated studying of a mystery whose purpose then lay unknown to me, I have now finally discovered that when my brother died I created a second personality whose purpose was to pretend he wasn't depressed from death, in order to protect myself and the people close to me, and who was not myself. My brother was my invisible advocate in this, I did it for him, and he remained the ghost of an incomplete child. It is something like being haunted by a spirit who can’t go home because he needs me to do something neither of us understand. This has alienated me to a degree which has deeply harmed my ability to communicate with and participate in reality, because with rare exception my life is an act of translation. In pursuit of the rare environments in which I was able to be my true self, I intentionally sought out and memorized surrealistic and dissociative environments with the express purpose of privately, right before your eyes, getting lost in them and disappearing from the places you call home where I cannot survive. You know that. I have tasked myself with the duty of containing this ugliness which I insist must not interrupt your lives, and now truly realize you all must have done the same. I hope that explains the chronic vacancies. I love you and want you to know that I am not leaving, I don't know if I'm good at making that clear.
The answer, my friends, is blowing in the mindBlowing underneath your friend's carThey call it a mental breakdown
>>25564541*George Harrison 'Let It Be' guitar solo*
>>25564422I'm fluent in Japanese (Well, B2 level but I've had long conversations). I see people write "Abe Shinzo" on a daily basis and it still reads like shit. However, some names like Takaichi Sanae flow more naturally. >Park Chung-hee or Kim Jong-unThese flow better in the Western order too
shatter = >1) to break into many piece>2) the one who defecated
>>25562116A lot of 19th century opinions on India are really >lolworthy.Basically modern Hindutva jeetbabble but racist.
*slaps scarred leg* See that, you little fuck? When they cut me leg down to the bone, threw me in the dungeon, and pissed on it, that's because that was my last fuckin day. My leg weren't 'sposed ta get better, they was killin me limb by limb, so I could still be alive with tha taste of never walkin again. But you know what I did? I took my rotten leg and fashioned a shiv outta the splinter in me legbone, and when those limey cunts came to serve me I shev it in their neck. And you know what I did? I walked right outta there. And if ye ever doubt in the fuckin healin powers a Christ again, I'll tell ye again the story about me dead leg, the man who would never walk again, and the meaning of truuuue resurrection
Fun fact: I’m not an insomniac, just merely an idiot. I’m gonna be so miserable tomorrow.
>>25564572I'll be glad to never speak to you again after it's revealed you raped your daughter in five years, Uncle Bob.
>>25564586I don't find that fact to be very funny at all
>>25564586You likely do have sleep problems. All-nighters do not come out of nowhere.
At this point I am certain I would get more purchase by describing a fantasy rape scenario starring myself as a victim than showing you a long-needed message of reconciliation regarding the death of a family member I wrote for my mother.,
>>25564588I don't know what I'm doing hereI fear I've surpassed all of you in the period of six monthsI step on you like a stone
>>25564600Six months more and you will overdose on some psychothropic inside the garage you live in, and no one will care.
>>25564603Flak fucker, you? Like because you so choose, that I'm not here doing everything I can to communicate soul-to-soul as a real human fucking person, and you again are the same entity who denies it. Like I don't know your words and I don't know mine. Like I don't know you and I aren't some sort of intellectually flirtatious combatants who are willing to go far beyond what is needed to become who we already are? Do I need to make myself any clearer?
>>25564595I don’t do all-nighters, but I’ve been really into my craft lately.
How long does it take for a man to conjure a reply?
>>25564613Also I’m waiting till this tread die because I’ve found a cute OP already c:
>>25564619Your neglect towards me is palpable
>>25564618bepis
>>25564622Say more words
>>25563976There would be three amusing scenarious with this.1. You would be working under some retarded compromised jew.2. You would effectively be wasting time endlessly, on pointless reductive research reinforcing the same data points which probably could be recreated in a lab with much less effort.3. You would probably be fucking with someone that the government or administration you worked for would actively not want you messing with.4. This would have to be a hobby, with personal investment rather than have any meaningful purpose.5. You could be watching much more interesting people yet you choose to watch me for some reason.All of this makes me think that you're probably just some shut in troll and this technology is actually a joke to procure.
That is exactly what infuriated me about them. They never talk to me properly, and it was me who was supposed to make sense from all of their little hints, of course if they actually were hints and not things that I started imagining.
Next time I will not embarrass myself like this New >>25564662New >>25564662New >>25564662
why the fuck did efnysien do thathe had the gall to murder branwen's baby in cold blood but when the irish descended upon them he sacrificed himself to stop themi will never understand him
