How do you actually write sex scenes in a way that don't end up being just funny?
Don’t know I don’t know I am a very worthless virgin who turned 28 years old today
What's so funny about STIFF BONERS?
just write around it. Write about something else and make it clear that you're writing about sex.
>>25622712Get a hooker
>>25622712Happy Birthday Anon!
>>25622738Forgot to remove name
>>25622712Happy birthday!
>>25622708If you are trying to represent what's good about being drunk to someone who isn't drunk they can usually only recognize it, notb actually feel it, as they are not drunk. The meaningful parts of sexual experiences also occur in an altered state of mind, and it will be difficult to have good sex descriptions in literature because reading literature is not a horny mind activity.In my mind For Whom The Bell Tolls deals with sex in a literary frame as well as any book has. Go read that.
>>25622731>the dresser, dimly lit, flickers in light cast by a candle.>its form is obscured by a profile shadow of voluptuous titties bouncing up and down
In the German version of The Physician there is a sex scene where the boy's dick is described with the same word as "water tap" or "spigot" in German. I'm kind of ashamed I fapped to it, because I didn't have a smartphone or other ways to get erotica, but in hindsight it's kind of a funny way of saying dick.
>>25623221In Louie CK's novel the main character is a mentally slow boy who grew up neglected in a small town in Texas. His family (as well as him, of course) use "spigot" to refer to his dick. Of course many parts of America (including that area in Texas) are overwhelmingly of German heritage, so this might not just be coincidence. I used to have to say Inch liebe dich to Grandma before hanging up the phone, I have the German Bible great grandma brought with her on the boat, we ate a few distinctly German dishes around holidays growing up, etc.
>>25622708You don't need a sex scene unless it's going that way in mind and it was pre-planned. Otherwise you'll tune out readers just like that
>>25622708Try to write it funny, and it inevitably won't be.
wet ass pussy
>>25622743>>25622738It’s late now but thank you, have a bump
Bump
>>25622708go on literotica or mc-stories and follow your dick
>>25622708I gave one hundred examples herehttps://archived.moe/lit/thread/21063784of people writing about sex in more or less creative ways. Some are funny but not all.
>>25622712Happy Birthday Anon. Just get on Tinder and disappoint the first slut that'll have you, that's what I did. Lasted a solid month and a half before she had enough.
>>25626541>Lasted a solid month and a halfwell damn that's a world record
just don't try to be creative with it
>>25622708Why would you want this? The sex scene in my novel is very funny and I love it.
Sex is funny though. It's sometimes awkward, doesn't always work great. People say goofy things and make each other laugh. Or you notice the cat's watching. It's not like porn.
>>25622708Practice. Write up your own sexual encounters in a journal. Everyone should keep a sex diary.
Use ANSI art.
>>25627248>Write up your own sexual encounters in a journal.>your own sexual encounters
>>25622708You don't describe the physical act, you describe the emotions.
>>25628465>He stirred his happiness into her like there was a boner in her guts.
>>25622708Abduct daughter in law. Go on scenic car ride through motel America.
Make them horribly disgusting
>>25622708Make sure it doesn't involve scat or futanari, for starters.
>>25628469Lmao! I was in purgatory, but now I’m in hell. Thank you anon for saving my soul hahahahahahaha
>>25622708Like this:>Emiko walked down the street liberated with exhilaration pulsing through her chest. Her friend had suggested she try walking around without any underwear and today she decided today was the day. It was so invigorating wlakiin her miniskirt and no panties on as the cool cool breeze whifted through her legs.>However, in all the excitement she was not fully paying attention to her surrounding and was unaware that a slovenly litterbug patron of the street fruit vendor had eaten a banana and rudely tossed the banana peel on the sidewalk after finishing before lying down for some shut eye as his newly accustomed homeless lifestyle had put him in the habit of.>As the hobo napped, Emiko walked by carefree. Too carefree. As she slipped on the banana peel and flew legs up into the sky. Her sudden yelp as she tripped awoke hobo joe just in time to see a pair of legs and in between falling right to his face. He tried to yell out in surprise but too soon found he couldn't speak as his mouth become muffled in between Emiko's legs.
>>25622708sex should be a little funny
>>25628465What if there aren't any?
