Previous thread:>>43084229Welcome to the Thread! Kinderquestria/Anon in pone prison focuses on the world and adventures of naive child like ponies and the misadventures and shenanigans of Anon that results in him going to prison! To get a good handle on how things are done around here I implore you to check out our new and improved one stop shop of kinder greens and prompts here >> https://ponepaste.org/7630
Apple Bloom a cute, post some Apple Bloom please!
>>43187199I agree
>>43187199
>>43187424what a cute bloom
>>43187209>>43187232>>43187424Absolute treasure, 10q
>>43187679pet-able fillers
>>43187679I can already hear Belle's voice crack when she realises her Mumbo magic turned them into a washing machine.
>>43187708>Girls, Gruntirek kidnapped Rainbow Dash to steal her speed!>Gruntirek kidnapped Rarity to steal her beauty!>And he took Applejack t'steal her... uh....>>"I'LL STEAL HER HAT, HOW 'BOUT THAT?"
>>43188046she awaits upsies
>>43188643a true anon who won't be denied his rightful beer
>>43188473she hungers for burgies
>>43188643Are americans really not allowed to drink in public places?
>>43188970yeah basically its bullshit land of the free my fucking ass
>>43189218She both delivers love, and loves making deliveries. Devilishly delightful poetry, Anon.
>>43188473burg
>>43189519
>>43189749canonical flutter butter
>>43190178Tune in to that episode and it's just 22 minutes of Flattershy sitting on the table
>>43188473She is eating the table.Perspective is fun.
>A mysterious, hairless and green appendage with 5 smaller digits flips through an assortment of pages in a book>By the sounds of it, you must be Anon>And you're currently trying to wrap your head around something very important>very very important"How the hell does this place not have pizza?!">You took food very seriously back on Earth and that hasn't gone away upon your arrival in Equestria>To your horror, there wasn't a single reference to pizza or even pizza-like foods, instead there were recipes such as "le daisies pain" which was Prench for "daisy bread">its just a daisy between bread slices>When you arrived in Equestria, you realized the pones' view of time was much more drastic than yours>A 1 month sentence to prison here was seen as the equivalent to 10 years back on Earth>Which means that nopony had created cheeses like cheddar, swiss, provolone, or blue cheese since they all had to be aged for months to years>yfw this means you can become the cheese prince and "create" new never seen before foods
>>43190361based cheese maker anon
>>43190361>Get drunk on 80 proof light beer (herbivore diet)>Tell ponies about the cheese caves and the government conspiracy that keeps them stocked>Ponies now think humans are magical cheese spirits with a cosmic role like breezies or that dog that guards Tartarus>Ponies start calling us cheesies
>>43190317I had a vague dream like this once.I don't think it was AJ or quite as intimate as that image but I distinctly remember the feeling of their weight on my lap and running their silky mane through my fingers.
>>43190879>>43190970>Ponies also think that changelings are cheese guardians created by humans because of their leg holes>Anon becomes an ambassador for the changeling race by proxy, somehow outranking Chrysalis too>Relations between changelings and ponies are healed by Anon gracing Celestia with the existence of cheesecake
>>43191275kek nice prompt
>>43192115PHAT
>>43190581devious little shit
>>43191454thanks, it's my first time ever writing a green
>>43192382Levelling up Frolicking to 100
>>43192465>Levelling up Frolicking to 100>Made an offhanded comment you thought no one heard when picking up a package at the post office"Derps should level up agility, lul">A couple of days pass>While walking to Sweet Apple Acres to get those sweet sweet appuls, you see Derpy running around a small pasture>She has a bunch of cardboard muffins lined up in a obstacle course of some kind, her snout is all scrunched up, eyebrows furrowed in focus>Her focus is broken when she spots you>"Oh! Hai Anon!""Hey Derpy, what're you up to?">"I took your advice! You said I needed to 'level-up' agi- agil- ag-""Agility.">"Yeah, that! So I took a bunch of my most scary items that could cause boo-boos, and I'm trying to fly without hitting any!~">You take a look at the fake muffins and see small thumbtacks with the sharp ends rounded off>Derpy runs up to you, almost tripping but managing to stay up>"Anon! What level am I?!">She looks up at you with expectation>You really don't know what to say, so you just make up something"You gained about... I'd say 5 levels. You're doing a good job, Derps.">Her eyes widen alongside the biggest grin you've seen on the mailmare>"YAAAAY!!">Derpy flies in circles while giggling and snorting>hhhnnnnnnnnnnnnnnggggggggg>At this rate you'll probably pass out from derpabetes>Good thing she's leveling agility, maybe she can carry you to the hospital
>>43192674kek cute nice work anon
not gonna be able to keep the thread as booped as normal my new job has dogshit cell service
>>43192674>Ponies start rescuing homework from dogs to level Restoration>Rainbow Dash figures out how to farm speech XP by doing nothing but phonics flashcards>Derpy already has 100 destruction from destroying town hall with her butt
I love the Crusaders
>>43194200Giraffey Mark Crusaders
>>43194200they be cute
A Swibble to complete the trio
>>43194876I could hear it and now so can youhttps://youtube.com/watch?v=2Fn_lkY57YQ
>>43194904Bless you and your autism, it fits way too well
>>43194266she vibin
>>43195879octopus mare a cute!
>>43196610kinderquestria has no child labor laws
>>43196926If it did, nothing would ever get done
>>43197260good lord she nommin
>>43193929>find a weird scroll painted in gold somewhere deep in the royal library>read it, get flashbanged>see a vision of a white furred, red maned mare with a ceramic pot on her head and a quill cutiemark>"I had been waiting for you nerevar">it quickly fits into place that this mare is the true dreamer, CHIM itself>your mind breaks, but you quickload to when it wasn't broken>"Good, you're already mastering your powers, Z'wah. Show me your infinte might">spend a week grinding a fortify intelligence spell>make ritual that's divinely powerful but only lasts a second>cast it, quickly mix a bunch of herbs and make a maxcap potion of fortify intelligence>chug it>the entirety of reality is revealed true forever>sneak derpy a very diluted potion of fortify intelligence (duration: 800 years) and nominate her as your pick for this year's spelling bee, betting all your bits on her>everypony laughs and tells you you're wasting your bits, and bet against you>???>twiggles loses her shit failing the bee to the town retard>collect your winnings>the dreamare manifests in front of you, laughing hysterically>hands you a bottle (with her left hand), tells you to chug it>hand? she only has hooves>chug it>it was piss>spit it out>it never was piss, it was a potion of fortify endurance>you find yourself in an endurance competition against rainbow dash???Scrolls, man. Not even once.
>>43197585>Z'wah
>>43116114c-come on Bloomie, it's time to get in...>"but ah don't wawna take a bayuth!"look, it's... you've gotta...>you look to AJ for some assistance or at least solidarity, but she just looks back at you with a look of utter bemusement as you deal with what she's long grown accustomed tolook, don't you want to get clean?>"NO! please don't make me go in there mister Anawn! it's awl cowld and weyt, and it takes so lawng until mah coat gets drah, ah cain't stayund it! puh-lease, tell Appuljayck not to make me go in thayre!" and she gives you those big, beady, misty eyes>any other time it might have given you pause, but now it only deepens your exasperation as you accidentally sigh more audibly than you would have liked>AJ bites down hard on the brush not to laugh out loud, you try to avoid making eye contact with herdon't you want to get all that gunk off of you? don't--don't you want to play with your bath toys? you have your little ducky there and->"NOOOO! NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO N-">you finally start seeing white and lose your patienceAPPLE BLOOM!!>she goes quiet and her defiant scowl turns back into the look of terror, this time directed at you rather than her watery grave>worried that you might have gone a little far, you take a deep breath with your eyes closed, and look straight at herif you're dirty, you know I'm not going to want to pet you, right?>"wh-...whaht?"that's right, I, uh, I'm not going to want to stroke a coat like this, it's not smooth or soft at all...I certainly wouldn't want to run my hands through a mane like this either, I'd get my hands all dirty...>"d-duh ya really mean thayut?">you nod sternly>AJ also nods, impressedand if you think I'd want to put my lips anywhere near all that muck, you'd better think again, so don't count on any forehead kisses until you're all washed up.>Bloom casts her eyes down in resignation>"ohkay...ah'll go in...">"pleayse just put me in slowly, ah always just freeze mah flank off when AJ dunks me awl at wonce..."alright...easy does it...there.>before long, she's comfortable in the water and blissfully playing with her bath toys while you and her big sister scrub her coat and wring out her mane>"thank yuh there, sugarcube. if yuh can buhlieve it, it's even harder most naights. ah'll have to getcha to come heylp out every bathtime," AJ whispers to you with a wink>you chuckle uneasily, hoping she was just joking
>>43197585holy fuck an elder scrolls green, In my kinder!? this is some good shit anon >>43197923kek cute and sovl pilled nice work anon
>>43197585>z'wahWould dunmer ponies reserve this insult for khajiit or redguards? Who even are the zebras of TES?
>>43198470Argonians. Black Marsh is still a swamp but it's a Louisiana bayou type thing.
>>43198507kek
>>43199462Dash you have wings that double as hands, why are you doing this
>>43199775she's a silly filly
>>43200865There is literally no cuter filly than filly Twiggie
>>43200989agreed
anon is mean!!!
>>43201407This is because ponies are smart so they store their thoughts all over themselves, not just in their heads
>>43201407bratty anon needs correction ToT
Slice of life best episode
>>43202038Lice of Life itchiest episode
>When the vegetables touch the mashed potatoes
>>43202588Why are pones so funny when grossed out kek
>>43203318they make funny expressions
drunk boop
>>43203607Too much salt, little pony?
>>43203893angle butter
>>43204202The opposite of an angle grinder
>>43204678cute
>>43204678Very sus that she has the patience for stop motion
>>43204847Hyperfixation is also a symptom of ADHD, which I wish someone had told me about when I was younger.
snoofa
>>43208173buuter
>>43187182Back in my day, Trixie at pinecones.
Back in my day, Pixie at acorns
Back in my day, Twilight ate hayburgers.... and she still does!
>>43208954shit cute
>>43202909my favorite image of her. i can look at this all day
>>43210131Derpelhaube
>>43210285Flattershy
https://www.youtube.com/shorts/EIXJbh2-yDM
>>43212004seems about right for ponk
>>43211694>Narrator: but she didn't know
>>43212694would
>>43213069Comb her fur, right anon? That's what you mean, right? Right?
>>43213074yes
>Date XX/XX>This species and its culture is endlessly fascinating to me. Yet in my pursuit of knowledge and discovery, I've found that the greatest revelations come outside of my attempts at finding them.>Just the other day, I had been enjoying some time off from my studies, simply enjoying the company of an inhabitant of the town in which I've come to reside. We had each been joking and the atmosphere felt relaxed enough that I felt comfortable in making a physical gesture. >To put it in blunt and honest terms, I poked her on the tip of her snout and vocalized an onomatopoeic "boop" sound.>This seemed to produce a euphoric and dissociative effect, as the individual momentarily seemed to phase out of lucidity while experiencing a moment of extreme physical bliss. Apparently it was considered altpgether pleasant, as she enthusiastically requested another administration immediately thereafter. >This attracted the attention of a passerby, who, intrigued, requested the same, to the same effect.>The two dubbed the procedure by the same onomatopoeia that I had haphazardly used earlier. Seeing no better term, I adopted it as well.>Date XX/XX+14>I first conducted experiments in "booping" on a volunteer basis, then simply began asking friends and acquaintances if they would consent to experiencing the phenomenon, then complete strangers, and have recently tested waters in admonistering to passersby unprompted. The reception has been much the same; in contrast to "uppies" which would occasionally yield chagrin after the act even if universally well-received during, I have not yet encountered any objection. At worst, a pony might be mildly bothered by losing his or her train of thought if administered in the middle of speech. >My working hypothesis is that there is some sort of pressure point at the tip of the snout, which might have gone hereto unnoticed as the wider extremities on their equivalents to our arms might stimulate too many nerves at once, ultimately resulting in no physical sensation. (Despite the equivalent practice a few ponies have taken a liking to employing on myself, I'm afraid it seems to produce no similar effect) Other species in this realm with phalanges more like ours tend to have them too sharp and pointed to have ever come across the phenonenon of booping (I can't believe I'm going to have to continue using this term in my journal and formal speech).>The rulers of this realm have expressly forbidden the practice of dissection and I intend to honor their stipulations, so I'm afraid this shot in the dark will have to remain a hypothesis.
>>43214753>Date XX/XX+19>I have received a summons from the twin monarchs, presumably relating to this most recent discovery and my practices. I only hope that our rapport has not been strained; I admit that perhaps I have overstepped ethical boundaries by involving technically non-consenting parties in my research, even if it was an ostensible conclusion deriving from unanimous enthusiastic compliance in formal and informal trials.>I am prepared to defend myself as necessary in the royal court, but also to face the Equestrian justice system with dignity, respect, and honor. If this is to be my final entry, I only hope a successor can learn from my errors and continue this practice in my stead.>Date XX/XX+21>I suppose it bears acknowledging as a discovery that the urge to wince and to cackle might entirely cancel one another out, as I had fortunately observed while trying to retain my composure as the princesses looked down upon me from their thrones while their orator made their declaration regarding "ceremonial booping.">Evidently, the decreed new practice involves administering a boop (perhaps one day I will become accustomed to writing that without quotation marks) as a formal gesture during audience with the royal sisters, akin to the curtsying or genuflection required by some monarchs throughout our own history.>At any rate, my practices are to continue, now with an increased grant from the Canterlot Arts & Sciences Foundation.
>>43214764
>>43214854Oh no, I've seen how this episode plays out
>>43214753>>43214764kek this is some good shit anon glad to see more of it
>>43190361>Poniods finally getting cheezepilled.It's an interesting premise though. I wonder what other food might be missing in /kinder/questria because of this. Maybe that's why the kinder ponies never discovered wine. I would imagine that bread and other baked goods are probably viewed the same way cheese is on Earth considering they could take a entire day to prepare.
You could probably try making some old timey alcohol by fermenting fruit but I don't know if it's the best idea to do so.There's are a fair few accounts of trying this in our world only for local wildlife to get into it and getting zooted out of their gourd.
>>43216159you could but its gonna be fairly weak less than like 5%
>>43214753>Public boop trialsthe diarchy has gone completely degenerate
>Neen
>>43218459smoochable donchaknow
>>43218476I want to teach her the art of cheddar
pweb
>>43218806if anything she'd probably teach you a thing or two about cheese considering she's midwestern and possibly a Wisconsinite
>>43219715I want to call this filly a nerd and boop her nose even if it means a 40 minutes jail sentence
>>43219762
>>43219762evil
>>43220663>>43221143>>43221399NOI DETECTED
>>43221516horse
>>43221478#1 OG noigga in tha 'ville
>>43222112the best at it
>>43223485Cadence no
>>43222415Cyoot sick mare and mare caretaker
>>43223756she snoozing
>>43223777Trips confirm maretaker
>You've always been the maretaker, Mr. Anonymous..
>>43225238how dastardly they are getting more creative
pre bed
golly
>>43226099That golly's not jolly
>>43226894shady
>>43222112>>43222577>Trixie wants to show you a new trick she came up with.>She tells you she can make you disappear.>She just puts her hooves over her eyes
>>43227268>Derpy does it>Suddenly you're floating on the moon>When you're back on Earth, her eyes are uncovered again
>>43227268kek
>>43228062twiggy is so neurotic
>>43229394damn it twiggles don't make me have to put the cone collar on you again
>>43230090Who's the artist? I need moar
preeb
>>43230131Might be one of Glacierclear's.
>>43230131i have no fucking idea what so ever I save most of my shit off 4chan
>>43230559Alright I'll just look that up and woah that's a lotta porn
>>43231182no thoughts only grass
>>43231559She's made for feed, not speed
>>43232446I'd do the same thing
>>43232714That's a highly pettable Rarity.
>>43232763agreed
>>43197923adorable Bloomie green
>>43214764>gets a grant for boopingHe's becoming too powerful!
You think ponies have these things on their playgrounds.https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UMPuGgORFCA&lc=
>>43235664little shit
>>43235265Nah they have animatronic humans giving uppies
>>43214854>"But I do! I wouldn't carry just anypony on my head like like I do you."
>>43236770>Applejack finds you later>Gives you a box full of paperclips, apple seeds and one (1) frog>It's Apple Bloom's dowry
Preb
>>43237219>braid the paper clips into a ring>this shows I am practical with a delicate touch>invest in the farm and land and plant the seeds>this shows commitment to the future and willingness to join the family trade>teach the frog to eat bits and sing songs after eating bits>this would just be funny to me but maybe it'd get some extra cashflowBy gosh I'm gonna make this "become an Apple" brouhaha work, I tell you hwat
>>43237594>Teach the frog to eat bitsGross, no shopkeep wants those now
>>43238148since she's stuck she won't be able to stop me petting her
holding my horses
>>43239017>Beerland>Anon started his own kingdom so he doesn't have to pay Celestia's taxes>Celestia is too nice to send the guards to kick his flagpole over
>>43239301kek very fitting of kinder celestia
>>43239948Who dat
>>43240256Mr. Everret true he a protagonist or an early to mid 20th century comic of the same name and he's absolutely turbo based.
>>43221516twimac is still the best twilight ship that isn't gay the best twilight ship is still twunaimagine the shenanigan potential of two alicorns and a monkey all conspiring to fluster a little purple nerd and a big blue recluse
>>43240467Devious
What did (you) say to her?
>>43241187"i don't really care about socks"
>>43241250How can you not? You humans need them a lot more than we do!
>>43241981a cute chryssi
>>43242355I wish all mares a very happy rest of their lives
>>43242375snuggle the flutter
>>43243255We needed more hat twilight in the show
>>43237264you fucking idiot, get down from there! you're gonna hurt yourself. are you trying to hurt yourself?you stupid fuck!
>>43243400No more horses walking on the rail!
>>43244219uncle chai kino
>>43244738she's very close she should back up a little
>>43245035What if she backed up in a circle and got even closer?
>>43237264 she is so fucking cute holy shit this almost became a cute-aggression post>>43243400>You're the T to the W-I>Which means you're Twilight Sparkle.>It was warm, calm days in Ponyville like today you enjoyed the most.>Saying hi to your friends to and from wherever you had to go.>No Equestria-Dooming evil, no beyond-pony-comprehension Pinkie shenanagains.>Just a nice, quiet->"FUCKING JUMP!">recordscratch.gramophone>Even if you weren't the one doing it somepony commiting a crime in broad daylight stressed you out.>Even if it WASN'T a crime to swear it'd stress you out!>It'd stress out any reasonable pony!>"DO IT YOU BITCH!">Despite your eagerness to simply leave you had to see what was going on.>Maybe a pony just didn't know better and after a nice, civil->"DO IT YOU FUCKING PUSSY!">Conversation and they'd never do it again!>Finally turning a corner you see Anonymous (which dashed your hopes of a reasonable, polite conversation).>"GET. THE. FUCK DOWN FROM THERE!">And Rainbow!>Who he was swearing at!>But she didn't seem phased at all!>This was the same mare who once CRASHED out of the sky because she zoomed past somepony who swore because she was going so fast.>Now?>"WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU LOOKING AT?! I'LL END YOU!">She looks... Happy?>Like there isn't an insane hyuman yelling at her.>"YOU FUCKING PIECE OF SHI-""ANON!">Both of them turn immediately.>"Oh hi Twi!">"Hey Twilight." He promptly turned back to Dash and calmly continued, "Fuck you, you stupid fuck. You fucking brainless tardegrade," while clenching his fists.>Dash hopped, barely a jump, down from the stone and approached you.>"What's up?">You can't help but cringe because you can still hear Anon whispering things behind Dash."What is going on? Why is Anon swearing at you? Why do you not CARE?">"Huh?">Suddenly her care-free smile grows and her eyes widden in... joy?>"ANON!" She turns back to him.>"It worked! The training worked!">She zooms forward, capturing him in a hug, and flying off cheering.>He falls to his knees and forward again, slamming a fist into the dirt with a devestated "NO!">"Why, you stupid fucking shitter...">You can hardly stomach it but you approach the clearly upset hyuman."Mind explaining what's going on?">He looks up with tears in his eyes and confesses,>"That was the only entertainment I've had in months. She'd walk up the ramp, I'd swear, and she'd fuckin' TUMBLE.">He looks at you with sad, hopeless eyes.>"And I told her if we kept at it she'd get desensitized and she couldn't be startled again. It was so fucking funny, Twi.">He sniffled before finishing, "Until it actually worked.">Yeah, you're going to get the guards.>And consider utilizing "desensitization" to everypony that has to live near Anon.
>>43245499KEK this is some good shit anon
10
>>43246309Very clean and very cute floot.
>>43248769ponk is definitely the snuggliest looking of the mane six
>>43248953She really is.
Silly hoers
>>43251943hand feeding ponk would be fun for sure
>>43253631OAT TAKERMARE WITHOUT HONOR
uppies
>>43253643THE QUARRELSOME QUAKER-OAT QUAFFER
fall calls
>>43255056id do the same
https://derpicdn.net/img/view/2026/5/21/3822890.webm
>>43255999cute
Pre bed
>>43214537She is so cute I just want to give her raspberries.That should make ponies less scared of her
>>43256803what a way to challenge her authoritah
>>43254435THE SICKLY CEREAL SNACKERTHE GRAONWORTHY GRAIN GRABBERTHE MEDDLESOME 'MEAL MUNCHER>>43255999Mouseu creates yet another criterion collectoon classic
>neen
>>43254435>>43253643>>43257552THE PISSANT PORRIDGE PURLOINER
>>43224738absolute qt
>>43258555checked digits would do the same
>>43258869Stronger men have tried and tipped over
>>43259352Not me.
>>43259742Appyl and scooter
>>43260394I can smell and hear this image
>nein
>>43261862Tasty appool
>>43262268Precarious petting
>>43262530>you just know
>>43262530>>43262572https://derpicdn.net/img/view/2014/5/15/627086.png
>>43262579I FUCKING KNEW IT
>>43262588Never bet against esoteric cartoon horse porn
>>43262780I don't particularly like cinnamon rolls in the first place (I am a wanted man in all of kinderquestria)
Pwebbity
>>43263129I will brush the dorp
>>43263129I remember spending almost a fucking hour brushing one side of a horse with that exact brush because he was so filthy.
>>43264087Spine cracking
>>43258385N O I
>>43263078That's okay, I'll have yours
>>43265199I don't have any
>>43266215Oh my god he's literally travelling in style
>>43266486for sure
>>43266215is that the famed 'strayan Celestia?
>>43268168Tactical miscalculation
>>43268581total mare defeat
>>43268990
>>43269496
>>43270281Great mustache Twilight!
>>43271424Oh fuck, you just know
>>43271960What did she do?
>>43272163 preening
>>43271671Not this time, it's just Big Mac getting brushed. There are no alts.
Pre bed bed pone
>>43272163Nothing at all
>>43273233there is no poni in this image
>>43273304Filly is not an xbox controller
>>43271340Would
>>43250089NOOOOOOOOO Why!? Why does bon must be gone??>>43250520Oblivious creature
>>43274678Plot twist: Rarity isn't horrified at the snail, she's barely resisting the urge to eat Prench cuisine
>>43275255The sugar lump bump!
>>43274975is Fluttershy's ass Prench cuisine?
>>43275568No, but the snail could be
>>43276583I will give her 12 muffins
>>43276252>poxyboxy
>>43276577
