Imminent Daterape EditionPrevious Edition: >>43177822Fauster's Story Archive: https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1XiJRe1NWl_kIoWsHssZ27BMV7bZAe1jgX59-dWggYkA/Uh-hmmm's Prompt Archives:https://ponepaste.org/1046Have a broken Pastebin link? Replace pastebin.com with poneb.inRemember:not to save anything of value on Pastebinignore all attempts at early new threadsThread question: What gives (you) the ick?
>>43262273I'm sure Twilight wouldn't mind a colt calling her adorable
>>43262273Any updates on the Sunburst green and The Long and Short of it?
>>43262277She would turn into an awkward mess.
>>43262280It'll be out when it's out!
>>43262400GET HER THE HELL OUT OF HERE! THROW HER OUT IN THE COLD, DON'T GIVE HER HER JACKET!
>>43261546I want to pamper an olympian level mare wife.
>Be Anon>Leaving Ponyville's arcade>Had fun playing Equestria's version of Joust>Kinda showed off to the mares who think colts can't play games>Notice that one blue showpony you've seen on posters is just outside as you leave>"Uhm, excuse me">You turn to see the wizard mare. Her voice cracked cutely as she was speaking>"Trixie is enamored with you, human">She’s attractive, but what does she mean by enamoured? Just Interested that you’re human? or does she mean romantically? Anyway, why does she talk like that? Must be one hell of an ego"Are… you speaking in 3rd person?">Doesn’t matter…, just listen to me”"I'm listening">"Trixie would like to pay you for something""I'm employed already">"No, Anon, it's not a job. Trixie wants to purchase something from you">You shift in bewilderment as Trixie closes in the gap between you>"I'll pay you 20 bits, Anon""For what?">"Please don't tell anypony, Anon, but I need...">Trixie rubs her forehoof in discomfort>"A service, and maybe a few more bits for something else too, and if you don’t mind, this conversation never happened"">Trixie hastily gets out her vague request, and it leaves you puzzled>What's this all about?“Service for what? I’m not fixing your wagon just because i have hands”>"No, that’s not it Anon”>Trixie finally musters up the courage, “Trixie wants to sniff you">Just about every faculty of your brain stops its usual function"WHAT?!">"Please! Be quiet before somepony hears. I just need to-to... smell you, and then-""Oh you’re one of those types who gets off on the smell of stallions?… and i guess you have a human fetish too, huh?">Trixie's face is bright red as you mercilessly call her out bluntly in surprise. Funny enough, you did run out of bits for the Pony Defender arcade machine>You remember how stallions are the ones who’d most likely whore themselves out in Equestria’s reversed roles, and it makes you chuckle internally>Maybe there’s money to be made?"What's the other thing that you wanted to pay me extra for?">Trixie is shamefully looking back at you, blushing, yet seemingly into the thrill of asking you for such naughty things>"Trixie will require... your underwear">You chuckle just a bit and Tsk Tsk her>Trixie seems like she's about to run away before you report her to the royal guard for being a sexual deviant"You know what?" Trixie raises her eyelids to intake what you'll say, "throw in an extra 10 bits for the underwear, and you got a deal>”Really?! Oh please let me smell them!”>You hold up your hands as she’s about to latch onto you“Shouldn’t we, like, go into the alley if we’re going to do this?”>”Right, Lead the way, my fair human”
Hello everyone I literally never come in these threads cuz y'all are weird. However I do share the exact same brain illness as you. I practically never envision the dudes being in charge anymore when I'm glorkin' it. Especially when I'm thinking about Ponies. I have long ago just accepted the headcanon that in Pony world it's the mares who are expected to pursue and to dominate, while the males are supposed to sit and look pretty and do whatever the mares want them to. It's a girls' empowerment franchise after all.However I acknowledge this is unrealistic, and knowing that does kinda spoil the fantasy desu. My question is thus: Which MLP race is the most likely, and most plausible, to REALISTICALLY be female-dominant?We have what.....2 dozen sapient races in this show? And most of them are biologically VERY different from each other. I think just by sheer odds, a couple of the races actually WOULD have reverse gender roles.....The question is which ones? Here's some of my thoughts.>changelingsPractically confirmed. I know we have King Thorax but that feels like an anomaly due to his specific rise to power. Also Thorax's hive no longer has a queen. I'm sure if a new one were born, the typical expectation for Changelings would be that queens are supposed to be in charge. If not politically, then certainly sexually. There's no way a literal queen insect isn't the most sexually dominant one in the hive. She runs the show, that's the whole point of hive insects.>dragonsWhile I don't think this is likely based on the aggressive teenage dudebro shtick the dragons in MLP have, it's worth mentioning. Mammals are nearly all male-dominant, but this biological trend is often broken in non-mammals. In many lizard & reptile species, the females are the larger and more aggressive ones. I enjoy the idea that this would apply to Dragons even tho obviously show evidence doesn't support it (Outside of Ember being a badass mf).>lamiaThey're not actually real so I can say they're female-dominant and you're not allowed to tell me I'm wrong. Seriously tho, in 2/3rds of all snake species the female is larger, often significantly so. And in most snakes the males literally can't impregnate the females by force cuz she's able to divert unwanted sperm into a false vaginal duct. And in most snakes it's the females who initiate sex. So Lamia are def a reverse gender roles race.1/2
>>43262658>You make your way out of sight of possible onlookers in the shaded alley>Trixie approaches you, almost vibrating in her feral lust>Her snout gets closer to your junk>Trixie’s eyes blink up at you then back to your clothed crotch>Closes her eyes and presses her muzzle gently into your frank and beans*Sniff* *SNIIIIIIIIIF*>the sniffs are followed by horsey snorts and it seems that there’s small tremors her body experiences>She loves it>Trixie smells you and reaches and hoof backward to touch herself as she murmurs bizarre Trixie-things>”Oh, Trixie, you’re going to get yourself in trouble sniffing these colts, humfff… You smell so good Anon,” she mouths to herself on autopilot>There’s a couple of shlicks as she hoofs herself>”Yesssss… Trixie loves it”>this goes on for a few minutes>Get hard and she nuzzles your boner>You decide these deeds, which are inching towards full on maregasm, are above the 20 bit paygrade“Alright, that’s enough. You’re entering into the 50 bit territory”>”OH, PLEASE, I’m getting close!”“Nope”>You pull her away from your crotch, and begin to take off your pants>”Hmmph! Trixie was enjoying herself, monkey”>She quickly loses her smart attitude as you begin to undress>Trixie is biting her lip in excitement as you take off your underwear>”Nice cock, anon. Gosh, I wish I could make you my house husband.”>You hand her the underwear and roll your eyes“Maybe you should’ve just asked me to be your tradcolt husband instead of just trying to whore me out for my monkey stink”>”Dang it! Trixie never thought of that! Stallions are so picky, and it’s hard to ask them out,” Trixie admits with puppy dog eyes and stomps her hoof>You pat her shoulder in half sympathy“Yeah, well, anyway, I need that payment”>”Fine, here’s your bits: 20 for the smells and 10 for the undies”>Noice>Now you can break the arcade records for sure with this shit>Trixie wastes no time and deeply inhales the area of your underwear that held your balls>Hoofs herself>”OH YESSSSS”>”Anon, can I suck you off for a few bits more?”“How many more bits do yah got?”>"Trixie has 20 more"Hey, twenty bits is twenty bits
>>43262664>y'allGo back
>>43262664>Which MLP race is the most likely, and most plausible, to REALISTICALLY be female-dominant?Every single one. They're not actually real so I can say they're female-dominant and you're not allowed to tell me I'm wrong.
2/2>unicornsI don't think they're fem-dominant but I see the potential. Telekinesis makes a person's physical strength essentially irrelevant in a fight, so male and female Unicorns are on even terms in regards to their power level and who is capable of overpowering whom. Since their mares can very easily fight back, I think Unicorns would be egalitarian, but the fact Unicorns are strongly associated with femininity makes we wonder if Unicorn mares have a bit of an edge over the stallions.>kirinOh yeah they're absolutely female-dominant, no question. Thier telekinesis at LEAST makes the 2 sexes equal, but it's really the face design that tells you Kirin males are the beta ones.It's clear just from how they look that Kirins are an offshoot cousin of Unicorns, they're just way too visually similar to Ponies to not be biologically related, distantly. There could be a few ways that happened, but the POINT is that at some point after they branched off from Ponies, Kirins must have once had males with boxier square faces like literally every other Pony type. But as they evolved they lost this trait, and I assert this is certainly via sexual selection. The only fucking way Kirin males would EVER evolve to be less macho-looking is if, over many generations, Kirin females intentionally selected cuter-looking males because that's what they find attractive. The macho Kirin genes died out because they they were less sexually popular, and female Kirins seek soft-featured males with submissive traits. Therefore I ASSERT that Kirin are among the most likely races to have reverse gender roles where the males are expected to look cute, do what they are told and do theecooking and cleaning for their fiery Kirin wife who takes charge and actually runs shit. Also a Kirin in heat is probably.....unruly.Okay autism done.
>>43262672Unicorns aren't a different species from ponies, retard.
>>43262664Ummmm mares are most likely to be dominant. all the other stuff you listed is wack
>>43262673your reading comprehension is zero
>>43262664>y'allNo, just no.
>>43262677Your not-being-a-blithering-retard comprehension is zero.
>>43262665Anon what have you done? You've whored yourself out! Now no mare will take you.
>>43262665>Hey, twenty bits is twenty bitsDo monkeysluts really?
>>43262744Mares could huff and puff me for free.
I got in trouble today with the stal palsI really like this one mare I met at Ponemart at 3AM while I was filming some video and generally making life difficult for minimum wage employees. The problem is the guys don't like her because she has buck-teeth and a lisp and only ever talks about giant monster movies but I really like her.Should I orchestrate my own death and then run away with her to the Fillypines?
>>43262752>Be Spike>You and Twilight are at Sweet Apple Acres helping Applejack get apples>What a twist, am I right?>Apple is saying something or other about who the fuck cares when Big Mac walks by>Twilight lets out a goonish groan>"I hate to see him go, but I love to watch him leave.">You wish you didn't have earholes
>>43262761Only a c*lt would be stupid enough to care what another c*lt thinks
>>43262774Have sex, marecel
>>43262672Every species in MLP is matriarchal. If you wander into a back alley in spring you're as likely as not to find a bunch of rowdy queens taking turns shredding themselves on the same tom.
>>43262777Simp, or seething coltoid? Call it.
>>43262777She can’t. All the moon dust have irradiated her reproductive organs.
>>43262845The moon dust crusted her pussy shutYou need a hammer and chisel to get through it
>>43262854>"Didst thouOWOWOW! OW! Didst THOUST get throughst yetst?!""I'm workin' on it! I'm workin' on it!!">clink clink clink clink>"OW! FUCKST!">She kicks Anon in the both his nipples>"Just fuckesth my mouthst insteadest, knave!"
>>43262854>>43262950Anon are you really dumb enough to try a hammer and chisel?
>>43262958Alright, well, while you two are busy tickling the moon dust, I'll be getting my dick guillotined by lunar marecel cunt
>>43262762Tamers slop?Tamers peak.
>>43262958>am I dumb enoughDid you even have to ask? Now who's the dumb one, dummy?>>43262964See, this guy knows what he's doing. EXCEPT THERES NO ELECTRICITY IN SPACE, STUPID! Chiselchads can't stop winning, bit by bit im gonna see those bits first while you guys dork around with your "technology" and "intelligence"
>>43262973>EXCEPT THERES NO ELECTRICITY IN SPACE, STUPID!Good thing I brought my own.
>>43262976...can I borrow your drill? I need it for something
>>43262845>>43262854>>43262958>>43262964I'm on to you anon
>>43262976>Using EverStart Value instead of EverStart Maxx
>>43262995bro murdered the thread
>>43262964Is that thing built to cut through hard stuff while leaving soft tissues undamaged?
>>43262995A brickhouse.
>>43262273>Twilight was willing to go great lengths to obtain a mythical human husbando for herself.>Love potion? Want-it-need-it spell? Copying Cadance's love spell?>She was willing to do all that and bear the punishment the alicorn of Love with a capital L would inevitably wreak upon her, as long as the feeling of crippling loneliness would go away. If only she could find the one...>Tartarus, even a diet wouldn't be off the table if it came to that.>However Fate would seem to have other plans that particular Tuesday at the Grand Canterlot Library.>One second she was gawking at a long-legged, sharply-dressed, sock-wearing specimen of Anon Sapiens, and the next second she was on her back, having her belly rubbed like a little filly, while being called prettiest mare said human has ever seen.>She could swear she saw hearts in his eyes, despite him not having any.>A couple of seconds later she was unceremoniously carried out of the building with all her books, leaving the librarian in a state of abject envy.>Twilight would be embarrassed by being marehandled but, first, she was held gentler than a newborn colt, and second, getting kissed on her snoot derailed that specific train of thought repeatedly.>In no time at all, she was at her home, reading the same book she was at the library, but sitting in the lap of her human, who has enveloped her in his warm embrace.>He promised to cook for her once they were done with this chapter.>Wait.>Stallion? Being into reading?>Being an even faster reader than she was?!>Drawing parallels to his alien literature and willing to discuss it?!?>Twilight was about to pinch herself, but stopped. If this was a dream, she didn't want it to end.>Somewhere far away, a certain pink alicorn was looking at a crystal ball and giggling.
Good morning I hate stallions
>>43264210>t. Luna
>>43263674Candy stepping in before Twilight made a mistake.
>>43264210They don't care and will never look your way.
>>43264210Kazakhstan what're you doing in Equestria
>>43264832I read this in BlazeTheMovieFan's voice
Do you think Flutters is so shy because she has to live with the knowledge that her brother is an absolute fucking whore?
>>43264915>Constantly scared of meeting new ponies because she's paranoid about them somehow linking her to the most popular OnlyFeathers model on the PonyNet
>>43264923Since when is Fluttershy on OnlyFeathers? Link?
>>43265011>Link?
>>43265034It appears you have played me for a fool... well done. Time to clop for 7 hours and cry into my stallion body pillow again
>>43264923Such is the butter social cycle>I see somepony>I'm very pleased to make their acquaintance>They tell me "Oh, you like pets? My friends and I made your brother drink our squirt out of a dog bowl once.">I run home crying
>>43258902>Sure thing, you have better things to do than to hang out in some damp dark cave.>Like getting smooched by your marefriend.>A low, guttural groan reverberates through the cave, raising the hair on the back of your neck.>Waxy looks at you, disquieted, while you scan the dark for the possible source, fruitlessly.>The odd mare continues in a perfect monotone,>"Excuse me, I skipped the lunch today">She looks at the ceiling as if she's telling the time using the sun.>Except instead of sun there's rocks and crystals.>"It's about time I resupply, so I'm going to follow you up">Indeed she pulls out a big-ass ladder from... somewhere, and places it with habitual ease."Thanks">Deciding not to spend the rest of the day here, let alone getting on the oddly emotionally-stunted mare's nerves, you climb up.>Waxy's eyes flashing with the reflected light betray her checking you out, seemingly mildly impressed with the ease you climb up.>You pause for a bit and waggle your eyebrows at her,"Opposable thumbs, just you wait, I'll show you what they can do later this evening">She bites her lip.>Hook, line and sinker, she'll never see those ear-rubs coming!>Not wishing to test the patience of the mare who was considerate enough to hold still the ladder you cling to, you resume the ascent.>Ahh, fresh air.>As soon as you pull your sorry ass out of the hole, Crescent flies straight out like a bat out of hell, doing a somersault and landing, chest tuft puffed out proudly on display."Nice!">The mare in a mining helmet and a smock climbs right after her, pulling the ladder with her and stowing it... somewhere...>You try not to dwell too much on it.>What you dwell on is the continuous rumble rapidly growing in volume.>With a practiced motion you pick both mares up and take a WIIIIDE step back, putting them on the ground.>The fight cloud rolls by, filled with flashes of hooves, wings, horns and fangs.>Losing some speed and making a loop like a miniature tornado, it begins to slowly circle around the warning signs near the hole.>At least it's a small-ish fight cloud, were it a bit bigger, it'd have good odds of growing into a straight up fog of war.>Waxy shakes her head and looks at you in disbelief,>"Does this happen often around these parts?""You have no idea">Wait, are those changelings? Is it Tuesday already? >"OOF!">A familiar orange mare gets launched out of the cloud, skidding to a stop beside you.>Once she sees you, she springs up with a nasty smile. Her untimely advances get interrupted, though,>"Applejack, stop flirting with the stallion, we need your help here!">AJ groans in displeasure,>"Alright, Ah'm coming!">She gives you what she must imagine to be a sultry look, and in the interest of of public entertainment you decide not to address that particular misconception,>"Ah'll be seein' you, pardner">The odd mare keeps talking at the cloud in her monotone,"Pinkie- Pinkie, the ground is unstable, you need to move"
>write the most Chuck Tingle cumbrained brapfics imaginable about Princess Celestia going to Griffonstone and gassing them all into submission>#14 on the year's bestseller, readers thought it was deep political insight on the state of relations with Griffonstone>Write a few more>Celestia is pissed you wrote three novels about her farting on creatures, Luna wonders why she isn't in the books>Narrowly avoid prison, have to flee to Griffonstone accidentally into the arms of your weirdly loving fanbase
>>43265744>>Narrowly avoid prison, have to flee to Griffonstone accidentally into the arms of your weirdly loving fanbaseif griffins like you does that mean they only charge you half the usual usurious interest rates?
>>43265754Depends, some griffons make you pay in other ways... if you're a stallion, at least.
