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yeeeah, work that grill baby.

>>43275128
what does rape smell like

>>43275155
Sweat and shame.

Thanks for the new thread!
So I had an idea meant to inspire greens.
No idea if it will work, but are we worse off if it doesn't?
Write a green that includes the phrase
"She's right behind me isn't she?"
That's it.
That's the whole idea.
Maybe I've had better ideas.
And I've certainly had worse.

A snippet from How to be Dense where I was just trying to do Looney Tunes type comedy.
https://ponepaste.org/11423

>In PE, all we were doing was running laps around the track.
>Rainbow was in charge here and was intent on keeping me moving.
>Rainbow urged "C'mon Anon! Cardio is just as important as strength training! You need to build your endurance up!"
>That got some giggles from both Fluttershy and senpai.
>Rainbow whipped her head around to them and asked "What are you two laughing at? You both could benefit from more cardio too! He's already lapped BOTH of you."
>Then Rainbow got a wicked gleam in her eye and said "Oh I know how to motivate all THREE of you on this!"
"Uh-oh" I managed to get out.
>Then Rainbow loudly declared "Anonymous, if Twilight or Fluttershy can catch you, they get to pants you and keep your shorts!"
"You can't be serious." I said and then looked at senpai and Fluttershy. They BOTH had predatory smiles and a wicked gleam in their eyes as they wordlessly lunged forward towards me.
>Rainbow herself had a wicked smile as she told me "Better run dude. I'm going on ahead and if you have any questions you can ask when I lap you."
>And with that Rainbow was off at her own pace
>I was left with no choice but to RUN like a Doctor Who companion.
"Hey!"
"That's cheating!"
"You guys have to stay on the track! Not cut across!"
"Rainbow!"
"RAINBOWWWW!!"

>>43275217
Writing in classic toon style is always fun.
Check out this ancient example, if you dare:
>https://poneb.in/RqfUpmZG

>>43275223
Angrywino had some solid stuff, wish he wasn’t always so down on himself when he was posting.

>>43275155
quite nice, I like taking strolls through the rape fields in summer.

>>43275295
one day he will become Serenesober
>>43275311
they already have an official pony thread

>>43275295
Yeah, he always made me laugh, but he did strike me as broken.

>>43275536
>makes you laugh
>is secretly dying inside
Just like Pinkie

>>43275217
I bet Rainbow is wearing those tiny booty shorts.

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>Fluttershy is actually a black belt and a master of all martial arts
>experts theorize that she could be the greatest warrior in the world if she wanted to
>but she just does her training for fun
>she could never bring herself to actually hurt any pony
>she's just happy to know that she could if she wanted to
>and she looks at (You)
>"You're lucky I'm so nice, Anon. Otherwise, if I really wanted to, I could easily break you."

>>43275598
"Fluttershy. I have a gun. It doesn't care if you kick good."
>"O-oh. You wouldn't shoot me right?"

>Day 34 on Earth.
>The morning sun shines through the window, prodding you awake.
>You blink a few times to adjust.
>The world is bland. Normal. Colorless.
>It's been like this for a bit now.
>Sometimes you still feel like you might open your eyes to that pastel world.
>That you'd go back to life as it was.
>But it seems like the real world is where you'll stay after all.
>"Good morning, Anon~"
>You stare at the ceiling.
>...Well, time to get the day started.
>You head to the bathroom.
>Shit, Shower, Shave.
>Brush your teeth, get dressed for work.
>You enter the kitchen for your morning coffee.
>Your eyes snap to the dining table.
>There, sitting on the table, on one of your plates, is a freshly made serving of omurice.
>A heart of ketchup adorns it.
>"For you, Anon~"
>...
"Man,"
>You think aloud.
"Must have left this out last night. Silly me. Can't be any good anymore, though. Shame."
>You pick up the plate and slide the still-warm omurice into the trash.
>You grab your bag quickly and stride to your car.

>You clack away at your keyboard, organizing the spreadsheet as efficiently as you can.
>It's been a long, long time since you did this, but even out of practice, it only took you a week or so to get back into the swing of it.
>Your job has a nice repetitiveness to it.
>You sit in your cubicle, you get the work done, you take lunch, you pretend to work till you leave, then you do.
>It's been nice slipping back into the routine.
>If only...
>"You look so cute over your computer, Anon~"
>Your eyes laser focus onto the screen.
>Laser focus.
>This spreadsheet's done. On to the next one.
>You do this unblinkingly for hours.
>Your boss swings by.
>"Hey Anon," she greets, knocking on your cubicle.
>She has a coffee in her hand and a smile on her face.
>Sympathetic.
>You tear your eyes away from the screen, leaning back in your chair and running your hands through your hair.
"Hey Lisa."
>"How's everything going?" she asks.
"Good! Good. I'm fine. Very productive today."
>"Yeah?"
"Yeah."
>She stands there for a moment.
>"Okay, well if you ever need anything, please let me know."
"Of course."
>She smiles, then turns around to walk away.
>You immediately snap your eyes back to your computer.
>"...Are you sure you're okay?"
>You nod.
"I'm fine Lisa, I promise."
>The woman stops herself and turns back around.
>"...I'm sorry?"

>>43275654

>...Your blood freezes.
>"Sorry, did you say something Anon?"
>"Yeah Anon~, did you say something?~"
>You can feel a hoof on your shoulder.
"No! No. Sorry, nothing!"
>Lisa stares at you for a second, then steps back over.
>"You know Anon, it's barely been a month since you woke back up. Are you *sure* you're okay being back here?"
>You let out a breathy laugh, trying your best to force the anxiety back down.
"...I promise. I'm just a little tired."
>You smile at her, as genuine as you can.
>She looks back at you, smiles in return, "...Okay." Then continues walking.
>You watch her leave, heart racing.
>You exhale sharply, then redirect your attention back to your work.
>Spreadsheet, email, spreadsheet, email.
>New email.
>You click it quickly.
>It's from an address you've never seen, outside your work organization.
>[no subject]
>"Are spreadsheets your fetish, Anon~?" it says.
>You stare at the email for a half second too long.
>"Well?~"
>You force a laugh.
"Damn spam messages,"
>You say, just loud enough.
>Into the trash it goes.

>"How have things been since last week?" Dr. Sanders asks.
>You sit on the comfy chair across from him, trying your best to relax.
"You know, same old same old. I think I'm finally settled back into my routines."
>"That's impressive," the therapist praises. "Most people in your situation would be out for months."
>He scribbles something down.
>"How has the anxiety been?"
>You twiddle your thumbs.
"Pretty much gone!"
>...The doctor looks at you.
>"That so?"
"Yes sir."
>He pauses for a couple of moments.
>"It's not good to lie, Anon~"
>You keep your eyes locked to the ground.
>You focus on your breathing.
>You flick your eyes to the side for a split second.
>Juuust a split second.
>Long enough to catch the yellow and pink floating dangerously close to you.
>"You know," Dr. Sanders starts, "I keep noticing you glancing to the side during our sessions. Like you're looking at something."
>You stare at him, unmoving, then shrug.
"I mean... I mean, I dunno. Am I?"
>"You are." He taps his pencil on his notepad, then leans forward. "Anon, I can't help you if you don't help me help you. You need to tell me everything that's been happening since you woke up."
>He looks you over.
>"It's impressive to reintegrate so fast after a coma, but if your mind is lagging behind your body, it's a recipe for disaster. You need to be honest with me..."
>He pauses one more time.
>"Is everything okay?"

>>43275662

>You hear the wingbeats in your ears, just feet away from you.
>You can smell her clean fur.
>Her teal eyes drift past you.
>You rub your hands together, then, with a smile, you shrug, hands up in the air.
"Nothing's wrong, Doc. Couldn't be better."

>You brush your teeth.
>It's a worknight, after all.
>Gotta be well-rested for those spreadsheets.
>You rinse your mouth and spit out the water.
>You walk past and ignore the yellow p0ny sitting on your toilet, wiping your face with your bath towel.
>You make the rounds around your apartment, locking your door and turning off all the lights.
>You settle into bed, staring at the ceiling for a few moments, then close your eyes.
>It's quiet.
>All you can hear is the soft sound of cars down on the street.
>All you can smell is your clean sheets.
>A weight presses into your bed.
>"Goodnight, Anon~. See you tomorrow~."
>You say nothing.
>You ignore the shuffling of the sheets next to you.
>Everything's fine.
>Everything's normal.
>If you want life to return to how it once was...
>...You can never acknowledge
>Fucking Fluttershy

pastebin.com/u/th3seus

>>43275666
Good shit anon

>>43275666
wow a comeback from a old author
>pastebin.com
they now purge greens they don't like, please use ponepaste.org instead
>666
checked Satan

>>43275666
Devious story Satan. If only Anon finds peace.

>>43275666
The way they talk to him, makes me think other Anons have similar experiences.

>>43275666
Hey, that was pretty good. I liked--
>the3seus
no fucking way. No fucking way. No!

I literally stood up in my chair. What the fuck. Excellent to see you again, Satan. I'm amazed you still remember your password.

>>43275855
>>43275906
>>43275983
>>43276263
>>43276410

Ayy, appreciate it guys. Just an idea I randomly had and thought I'd hop back in for a sec and see if I could realize it. Glad you all liked it!

>please use ponepaste.org

I forgot that that was the new standard desu, but I don't really plan on regularly writing more or anything so I'll probably just leave it up on my old decrepit pastebin.

>I'm amazed you still remember your password

It took a couple tries ngl lol. I think I remember my trip too but I don't think I really wanna bust it out.

>>43276462
Not that anon but the ponepaste bit was mostly for safety reasons since Pastebin started deleting a bunch of stuff awhile ago

>>43276462
Glad to see you visit at least

>>43275666
kek, anon should talk to his therapist, maybe he has pills that can banish the yellowquiets

Great story, and it's neat to see a new one from an author whose stuff I've only ever read years after it was posted

>>43276462
>I'll probably just leave it up on my old decrepit pastebin.
As the other anon said, there's a non-zero chance it will get deleted at some point. A big swath of greens were wiped out seemingly picked out at random overnight when they suddenly decided they don't host lewd stuff or fan fiction.
Almost everything that was lost has archived at poneb.in, but things still vanish from time to time, whenever their algorithm decides to up and delete shit

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>>43275155
>"Does this candle smell like chloroform to you?"

>>43276462
>I think I remember my trip too but I don't think I really wanna bust it out.
if it were secure you wouldn't able to use it anymore lol
after Chicken Jockey Incident salt for secure trips was changed

>>43277020
Almost as strong as the stuff I practice on.

>>43276462
While you're here, Theseus, I'd love to know how you came up with the idea for Then and Now

>>43277751
I wish I could remember specifically, it was close to half my lifetime ago. I think I had just been reading a lot of FR stories and had the idea of p0nies seeing two versions of Anon and how they'd react and I kind of built it from there. It's really cool that people are still reading it. It feels so long ago and like it'd be such a small blip on the kind of insane lifetime this thread and board have had, lol

>>43276793
Damn, I remember reading about this years ago when I posted that 2020 story but didn't realize it was that bad. I guess I just kinda figure my stories are pretty tame all things considered so they weren't really at risk. Is patebin completely obsolete for green now?

>>43277122
This sounds completely ridiculous lol, but mine was secure, yeah. Guess my old pastebin is the only thing linking me to back then now.

>>43277879
>Is patebin completely obsolete for green now?
For us? Yes
ponyfags just use ponepaste while anons of other boards go for rentry or pray to God for stable pastebin experience
>>43277879
>This sounds completely ridiculous lol
The Chicken Jockey Incident or salt getting changed?

>>43277913
I've been more or less off 4chan for a decade or so, so to read "the great Chicken Jockey Incident has ruined all secure tripcodes" with no real context is just funny lol

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>>43277938
oh fuck gotta spoonfeed a grandpa here
>2015
>moot leaves 4chan
>does Q&A stream
>makes /qa/ board
>leaves 5ever
>yet board is not deleted
>mods & users decide to make it de-facto 4chan's metaboard
>just forget about defunct /q/, okay?
>it mostly fails and derails into shitposting
>basically SFW /b/
>by 2020-ish it's soijak spam
>by 2021 mods just shut it all down when one of their intra-4chan raids wipes /lgbt/ catalog
>soijak spammers move to their own altchan and continue their cancer there
>April First of 2025
>joke is about 4chan shutting down because of DOGE cuts
>/mlp/ is released from containment, but that's a story for another time
>"haha, imagine 4chan disappearing, right?"
>April 14th/15th fuck timezones
>/QA/ FUCKING WON as global announcement
>which is reopened
>dancing Miku gif as embed
>Night of Nights playing on all boards
>pic rel on /v/ posted from ## Admin account
>source code gets leaked
>it's revealed that neither the servers nor their software has been updated since the moot left
>PDF files were not sanitized before generating thumbnails
>everything is fucked beyond repair
>site shuts down for unknown period of time 10 days
>last post on /qa/ is
>CHICKEN JOCKEY

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>>43277938
>>43277957

>>43277965
I find it extra-funny that the first anniversary of this "event" had 4chan experiencing weird bugs and glitches for three days straight
truly a wonderful development in imageboard culture

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>>43277968
They were probably scared of a repeat performance and started tinkering with shit behind the scenes.
I'm honestly surprised it hasn't happened again yet

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>>43277977
>I'm honestly surprised it hasn't happened again yet
I'm pretty sure they now properly use containers for every-fucking-thing

>>43277957
Thanks for the spoonful, sonny. As ridiculous as it sounded, lol

Well I don't wanna /soc/ too hard and interrupt the usual board routine, thanks for indulging in my nostalgia. Glad you guys are still going strong. Here's to 14 more years.

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>>43278066
>14 more years
I've a sneaking suspicion this ride never ends.

>>43277879
>I guess I just kinda figure my stories are pretty tame all things considered so they weren't really at risk.
To this date nobody can figure out why the greens that were deleted got deleted. Some were very lewd, some were not, it was like they had an algorithm that involved rolling some dice, or spraying buckshot in the vague, general direction of whatever their robot thought was bad.

>>43278066
You aren’t interrupting anything, we’re pretty slow normally

>>43278409
Like, you can compare a user's pastebin.com/u/username link with the same link written as poneb.in/u/username to get the archived version and see what's missing, but while some deletions kinda make sense, some are just baffling.

I can only guess that there's some kind of dumb shit involved like removing pastes that have the word "harassment" because it contains "ass" in there, or something generally stupid like that.

Off 9

>>43277981
Never say never

Hello everyone! It's Tuesday and How to be Dense has updated!
(How to be Dense is an EQG harem comedy)
https://ponepaste.org/11423
This time is the first part of Pinkie's day with Anonymous.
But Pinkie declares she is Anon's FREAKY girlfriend!
I feel this installment is particularly Flutterrape-friendly one.
Allow me to show you a snippet and see if you agree.

>Pinkie then informed Fluttershy "Okay everyone has marked him. Time to let him go test the gloryholes." And Fluttershy released me and handed the leash back to Pinkie who rushed me into my stall and demanded "Pants down."
As I complied I realized I had to get ahead of this saying "Shouldn't we test these things before we stick any anatomy through them? We can't replace my cock after all."
>Pinkie considered and stated "I suppose that's true. What kind of test did you have in mind?"
"These tesseracted gloryholes should work both ways. Just have the girls push a note through without sticking their fingers in to test. If the notes come out readable they should be okay."
>Pinkie smiled and said "That sounds great Nonny! Okay girls, you heard him. Write him a gloryhole note to encourage him to stick it in and he'll read them out loud."
>I breathed a sigh of relief as she rushed to her own stall. Soon the notes started coming and I read them aloud as instructed.
"I'm going to ride you hard and put you away wet. If that's okay?"
"Oh no! A huge wyrm has appeared and now I must smother it with my maiden's mouth!"
"I want to fondle your apples! (Balls)"
"Stick it in! I'll do crutches again!!!"
"I'll decide what hole to use once you stick it in darling."
"Time's wasting! Let's go go go!"
"All of the above!"

Next week is the other part of Pinkie's day and the end of Act 2!

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>fluttershy is banging on your door when this happens
>(see pic)
>fluttershy goes home defeated

>>43279116
How rude!

>>43279007
So who were to correct choices during Pinkie’s game?