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Yeeeah, work that grill baby.

>>43356660
This is some inception nonsense Moondancer is falling into.

>>43359705
Glad to see a bunch of people came back to visit for a bit.

I don’t think the thread was expected to come back so soon

>>43360395
I saw Flutterrapist at a grocery store in Las Pegasus yesterday.

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>"Rara's latest album to come out, Mr. Hard to Get has been on the number one spot for 3 weeks now. You can't go an hour on the radio without hearing at least on of her songs."
>"Rumor has it that she wrote it about the lead singer of Shitposting Anonymously, Anon."

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>>43360828
>stamps your dick
"Hoofsies!"

>>43359683
Mounting Fluttershy's juicy yellow ass and seeding her toght warm horsepussy

>>43361171
>toght
You can't even type correctly with those hooves, Yellowbutt

>rgre died overnight again
dammit..my home is circling the drain again

>>43361796
why the fuck would RGRE die? they used to be the most popular shit since shit became cool.

>>43361855
Because the average user left here is too jaded for the easy pickings of rgre

>>43361855
The discord circlejerk took over and the thread withered.

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>>43361862
what. sorry, i'm inebriated, and I don't fucking understand

on an unrelated note, some guy was writing an applerape story in RGRE (it was mainly a bat pony romance, but I liked the Applejack stuff best) I wish he'd finish it
https://desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/43177822/#43246928
>>43361869
I remember hearing about the jerk way back in 2017-2018. I wonder if it's still active.

>>43361869
>The discord circlejerk
tell me more

>>43361883
>on an unrelated note, some guy was writing an applerape story in RGRE
>Trying to gang up on him and pull him down caused them to be... pissed on! Poor Fritter developed a nasty pinkeye and had to leave.
Anon's fucking brutal, god damn

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>>43361886
NTA but just imagine the old FR Skype chat but on discord and with RGRE namefags instead (Ephemeral, Frosty, BNW)

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>her ass vibrates at you

>>43361869
Unfortunate

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>green mare laments

>>43361905
>That image
Wow. That takes me back. I'm sure I drew the display picture the FR chat used, but can't find it in my old thread pictures folder to prove it. Tried to log into Skype just now to see if the old chatrooms were still active, but the program doesn't work anymore. Discontinued in 2025, looks like. Everything redirects to Teams. Shame. I used to hop on every now and then to see if the old AiE crew were still knocking around. Bolding et al were still alive last time I checked in. Hope they're still doing okay.
Hard to believe the FR chat had 97 people in it at one point, but I do recall things started deteriorating rapidly when outsiders started getting invited. To be completely honest, it wasn't exactly harmonious in there to begin with, but at least we could all laugh at MLP memes.

>>43361954
>The map calls all of them, to vibrate their butts on you. You call bullshit, but you can't disprove them.

>>43363539
It’s not unlikely

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>>43359705
No. It's something undeserved.

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Keeping up with what I was doing last thread, I'll post some stuff I was working on before I... Left.
Holy shit, I am so old now- and what I wrote before feels like a fucking lifetime ago.

Here goes Cadenza Grave.

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>>43363955
Cadenza Grave [Chapter I]

>"Do you often feel alone, Anon?"
"I guess."
>"Do you often feel like you're an outsider?"
"I dunno."
>"What about in a group? Do you feel isolated in a group?"
"I don't know. Sure."
>Ms. Cheerilee sighs.
>"Anon, I don't feel like you're giving this a chance. It's alright to just say how you really feel."
>You stand and zip up your jacket.
"Kay. I feel like going home."
>Cheerilee shuffles sideways, "W-Wait! Can we just talk for a bit longer? I'd like to help you! You've been going through changes, like all teenagers do!"
>You give her a deadpan look.
>This talk again?
>"I've noticed it especially in you because-"
"Because WHAT? Because I'm not a pony?"
>She holds her breath.
"Yeah. I get it. I'm not a pony. Listen, Ms. Cheerilee- I know that I'm the odd man out here in pony world. You don't have to treat me like a special case. You don't have to apply special circumstances to me. Because honestly? I don't want it."
>You sling your backpack over your shoulder.
"Just treat me like a regular student."
>With that, you leave the classroom.
>Ms. Cheerilee is still a young teacher.
>It's understandable that she's itching to prove her worth.
"But holy shit am I tired of her getting in my business."
>"Talking to yourself AGAIN?"
>You notice Shining Armor is shaking his head at you.
>"Humans, I'll never understand."
>You walk over next to him and push him aside, getting into your locker.
"What's the deal with Cheerilee, man?"
>He leans up next to you, checking out Lyra as she walks by with Bon Bon.
>You give him your best Costanza face.
"Dude, really? They're like three years too young for you."
>He coughs and focuses back on you, "What? What's up with Cheerilee?"
>You shut your locker.
"Nothing, man. Let's go to my place."

>>43363956
>Shining Armor lives all the way in Canterlot.
>So usually the two of you hang out at your place after school.
>It's nice that you live alone too.
>Your friend's little sister Twilight can be pretty nosey.
>There is one problem with your place, however.
>You notice it standing on your porch as you and Shining Armor approach.
>Your friend chuckles, "Ah, your mare is waiting loyally for you."
>Fluttershy shifts from lanky leg to lanky leg, sniffing around your door eagerly.
>She is your closest neighbor.
>How a filly lives on her own, you don't really care.
>But she's annoying.
>You kick open your gate and yell.
"WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!"
>Fluttershy's gangly legs lock up and she falls on her side.
>You laugh and step over her, opening your door.
>Fluttershy recovers and is instantly up your ass.
>Well, not literally.
>"H-Hey Anon, you um, got me heh heh..."
>She tries to flick her mane swoosh thing to try to seem cool, "So, are we hanging out here today?"
>You flick her nose, making her face scrunch.
"Go home Flutterbooboo. You're a little young to be hanging out with teenagers."
>She puffs up her scrawny chest, "I'm c-cool! I already went through my first e-estrus last summer!"
>Gross.
>Shining Armor sputters and shuffles into the kitchen.
>You promptly turn Fluttershy around and nudge her outside.
"Run along, Fluttershy. Go play on a highway or something."
>She turns around, "What is a highw-"
>You close the door and head for the kitchen.
>When you enter, you see that Shining Armor is eating the rest of your chips. Again.
"You fucking dumbass jock!"
>A wrestling match starts and ends with a destroyed kitchen.

>>43363955
I really enjoyed your Moondancer thing

>>43363958
>The next day, you stand half asleep in front of your locker.
>It's much too early for any shit.
>So of course-
>Shit finds you.
>Shining Armor comes running up.
>"Dude! Anon! Bro!"
>You turn slowly and pull your toboggan hat a little lower over your eyes, showing your disinterest.
>Not surprisingly, Shining doesn't take the hint and keeps blabbering.
>"So last night after I left your house, I got home and found out Twilight got a new foalsitter!"
"Good for her."
>You yawn and exhale morning breath at him.
>"No, good for me! She's a total babe! Like, a ten!"
>He's pretty annoying in the morning.
"So she's out of your league, eh?"
>This wouldn't be the first time that Shining Armor tried to pull a mare either too hot for him to handle, or just a little too young to be acceptable.
"Is she like a ten, or is she ACTUALLY ten this time?"
>Your friend flushes and looks agitated, "That was a mistake and she was almost a freshman okay? She looked older!"
>He gives you a serious look.
>"Come on man, you have to see this mare- she actually lives next door! I don't know why I never saw her. Just come to my place after school."
>You give him the patented deadpan look.
>He rolls his eyes, "Don't worry, I'll pay for your train ticket and Twily is busy today."
>With a smirk, you adjust your bag over your shoulder.
"And I want pizza for dinner."
>Shining Armor nods, "Yeah, okay. Just meet me out by the front gate after Cheerilee's class."
>He runs away down the hall.
>That guy isn't the brightest crayon in the box.
>But he is a pretty solid friend.
>Cheerilee's class...
>You have her for the last two periods.
"Great."

>>43363959
Thank you, Anon. Means a lot. I really fucking like that one.

>>43363962
>"You're friends with Shining Armor right?"
>That slightly annoying voice.
>That poking of a quill in your back.
>Flitter.
>You turn in your seat and gaze at her.
>Her friends sit around her, staring at you.
"How did you know?"
>Not catching on to your sarcasm, she blows a bubble with her gum and lets it pop.
>Annoying.
>"Can you like, tell him he's invited to my party Saturday night at my house? There'll be like, a LOT of ponies there."
>She flicks her mane a little and smacks her gum at you.
>Irritating.
>You pull down on your toboggan hat.
"Gee, I dunno if we'll be busy that night. I mean, he did just meet this REALLY hot mare from Canterlot..."
>Now she's catching on to your disdain.
>"You can come too, if you want. There will be more than enough to drink."
>It's always a pain dealing with Shining Armor's annoying little fangirls.
>Though-
>Not always without its benefits...
>You lean forward and whisper.
"Tell you what, you rub my back and I'll rub yours. Make it worth my time and I'll bring you Shining Hunk AND real booze. Not your dainty cider shit."
>Flitter isn't a student gunning for valedictorian-
>But she is hip to suggestions of a certain nature.
>She smiles knowingly and blows another bubble.
"After this class. End of the hall."

>>43363964
>You walk out of the bathroom stall and zip up your pants.
>Flitter is pretty good with her mouth.
>Everyone knows that.
>She walks past you and out of the bathroom, wiping her lips.
>"You better follow through, Anon."
>Or what, she'd tell everyone that she gulped another load in the bathroom?
>You wash your hands and turn to leave.
>Only to come stomach-to-face with Ms. Cheerilee.
"Hey Cheerilee, fancy meeting you in the little colts room."
>She doesn't look to be in the mood for your humor just right now.
>"Come with me, Anonymous."

>>43363968
>Cheerilee brings you to her class.
>It's still the transition period before classes, so the room is empty.
>She closes the door behind you.
>"Have a seat."
>Yeah, she mad.
>You swagger over to a chair and plop down.
"Am I in trouble? We do corporal punishment here, right? So you want me sitting, or bent over?"
>Cheerilee glares.
>"Can you be serious for one minute? I'm doing you a favor right now, Anonymous!"
"Why tho?"
>"Because I care about you!"
>You raise an eyebrow.
"Doing me a favor? I like to think I'm as kinky as the next guy- but spankings don't seem like much of a favor."
>She's getting pissed.
>"I'm doing you a favor by not getting you expelled for sexual relations with another student on school property!"
>You smile.
"So you saw, teach? Did you watch the whole thing, or just the grand finale?"
>Cheerilee huffs.
>"This is a warning, Anon! Don't ever do anything like that again, or I won't help you out next time! Now leave my class!"
>She's worked herself up proper.
>Her face is bright red and her mane is even a little frazzled.
>You raise your hands beside you,
"But Ms. Cheerilee, if I leave… I'll be tardy."
>On cue, the bell rings.
>The door opens and students begin filing in to take their seats.
>You give Cheerilee a shit-eating grin.
"And I'm NEVER tardy."
>There's almost steam coming from her ears.
>She turns away from you, stomping up to her desk.
>It's just too easy with her.

>>43363970
>Colgate is a great pony.
>She's always full of bright energy that doesn't come off as annoying.
>She has a sense of humor about her and sports a stunning smile.
>One thing she's not too great at however, is accepting the fact that you're not interested in a relationship with her.
>Ponies are still a no-go for you.
>Getting head from Flitter was one thing.
>Going steady with Colgate was another.
>There's also the fact that she is your closest friend, aside from Shining Armor.
>Yet every day she flirts with you.
>She wants it bad.
>Maybe even more than Fluttershy.
>The way her eyes dilate when talking to you, the way her tail swishes-
>It's all pretty obvious that she wants something more than goofing off in the back of Ms. Cheerilee's class.
>But Colgate has tact.
>She has never brought up dating after the initial rejection.
>Her blue hoof slides over to your desk to deposit a note.
>You open it and read.
>'You got in trouble :p'
>This girl is classy.
>Crumpling up the note, you toss it over Big Mac's head and into the trash.
>Colgate makes another note, asking what happened.
>You shrug.
>She wouldn't like the answer.
>Her smile doesn't go away.
>A way of implying that the conversation isn't over.
>With a sigh, you scribble on her note and pass it back.
>"May I ask what is so important it can't wait until after class?"
>Cheerilee glares at Colgate from the front of the room.
>Clogate never gets in trouble, so her face turns bright red.
>"Please, share with the class."
>Colgate coughs and stands up, levitating the note in front of her with magic and reading loudly to the now silent classroom.
>"W-What happened. Um, nothing much, I p-pissed off Cheerilee and she spa.... Spanked me. She... Likes good grief."
>The class erupts in laughter and you put your hands behind your head with a smirk.
>Ms. Cheerilee's jaw drops.
>"Sit down! No notes in class! Anon, see me after the bell!"
>She turns back to the board and you grin at Colgate, pantomiming spanking.

>>43363971
>"Your behavior is telling me that you need attention."
"Hmm."
>"Now, I know you don't really like talking about your emotions but-"
"HMM."
>"BUT- I would like to know, what will it take to get you to have a reasonable conversation with me, Anonymous?"
>Cheerilee looks into your eyes earnestly.
>It's kind of uncomfortable.
>She actually cares.
"Can you just suspend me for a few days or something?"
>Her gaze hardens.
>"You wouldn't learn anything."
>Fucking over-zealous new teachers.
"So what do you want me to say? That I'm lonely? That I'm in need of someone to talk to? Well I'm not and I don't. I'm just bored. That's it."
>She leans forward and grabs your hand with her hooves.
>The soft fur slides over your skin and she looks up into your eyes harder.
>"I don't think you really mean that."
>You lean back.
"What? I do!"
>She doesn't let go of you.
>Her perfume is now tickling at your nares.
>"I don't believe that at all. Because I know. I know that you came here from another world. A place where ponies don't talk. A place- where there's no such thing as magic."
"Yeah, that's what I told you."
>She scoots forward more.
>"Yes! So, how is it that you could find yourself 'bored' in a world full of magic and exotic creatures? How could you be 'bored' when you're the only kind of your species in this world? How? I don't believe you even know the answer yourself, Anonymous."
>You pull your hand from her warm grip and stand up, looking away from her prying eyes.
"You're my teacher. You're a horse. Why do you care so much? Why don't you help someone else?"
>Cheerilee stands as well, "Because I want to help YOU. You're free to go home now, but please think about this conversation, Anon."
>She walks past you, leaving you standing in the classroom alone.
>Her voice rings out in the hall.
>"Come see me during lunch tomorrow, please."
>The door latches closed.
>Behind you, an apple rolls from the fruit basket on Cheerilee's desk and falls to the floor.
>You pick it up and wipe it off.
"A stupid horse."
>You take a bite of the apple and place it back on the desk.

>>43363974
>The train enters a tunnel, making the world dark for a moment before the lanterns come on.
>"Why do you have to get busted so much, man?"
>You give Shining Armor a poker face.
"Are you being serious right now? You are? Oh. You are. You're seriously nagging me? Is this our first argument as a couple? Should we- should we have makeup sex?"
>He rolls his eyes.
>"I'm just saying, Cheerilee isn't gonna put up with your bull forever."
>You rest your chin on your hand.
"If she wasn't so pushy, maybe I wouldn't razz her so much."
>Your friend sighs, "And what's this I hear about you getting topped off by Octavia in the bathroom?"
"Jesus Christ."
>Nothing goes low at that school.
"I'd be lucky to even get a rub-and-tug from Tavi. Nah, it was actually Flitter. Is she running around telling everyone?"
>He smiles, "Nah, I just overheard a private conversation. Was she good?"
>You shrug.
>"Any teeth?"
"You sound a little too interested in her mouth work. You do know she wants you inside of her, right?"
>He flinches and forces a gag.
>"No way! That's all you."
>The train pulls up to Canterlot station and you exit.
>Shining Armor takes off at a brisk pace and you struggle to keep up.
"You're like a damn kid on Christmas morning!"
>"I don't know what that means, but I'm excited! This foalsitter is super hot, bro!"
>You frown and follow your rustled friend to his home.

>>43363977
>Twilight Sparkle is pretty cute.
>For a pony.
>An annoying egg-head pony.
>She's probably the same age as Fluttershy.
>That weird age where she's not quite a filly and not quite a mare.
>Luckily for her, she's not as gangly as Flutterbutt.
>You walk into the quaint home with Shining Armor just as Twilight comes out from her room.
>She eyes you suspiciously.
>"Are you two planning something stupid?"
>Shining Armor looks nervous.
>"No!"
>Twilight sits on her haunches and does that smug face thing you secretly think is cuter than puppies wrestling kittens.
>"Because I'll tell mom and dad. Just because they're not home doesn't mean you can throw a party. And if you try to drink again, I'll tell mom about the stuff you have hidden in your room. And about what Anon was smoking last time you guys-"
>You glare at her.
"I'm just here to hang out, you little snitch. Chill."
>Fuck.
>All cuteness that Twismug ever displays is inevitably overshadowed by her big fucking mouth that she never stops preaching with.
>Your friend chuckles and rubs his head, "It's okay, Twily. We're just gonna do some homework and maybe toss the ball around out back."
>You follow him into the kitchen, giving Twilight the finger behind her brother's back.

>>43363979
"Dude, why do you act like a little bitch around her?"
>Shining Armor stares out of the glass door to the fence out back.
>"I can't make her mad because she'll tell mom and dad about stuff! She's just grumpy because she's studying for a big test."
>This guy has no balls.
"You have no balls."
>He glares at you, "You know it's all you, right? Twily and I get along great when it's just us. She only acts like that whenever you're around because you're a jerk to her."
>His words are tuned out suddenly by your mind as adrenaline shoots through your body.
>It's her…
>With wide eyes and a body as still as a cadaver, you watch through the glass window behind your friend as a pink and purple alicorn emerges from the house behind Shining Armor's.
>Cadence…
>Memories of a couple of weeks ago come to mind.
>A day where you had been hanging out in Canterlot without Shining Armor by chance.
>And by chance-
>The demon introducing itself as Cadenza slithered into your life.
>You point behind Shining and stammer.
"Hey, w-what the fuck is SHE doing here?"
>He follows your finger and looks outside as Cadence prances over her back lawn with her mane tied back in a ponytail.
>She unties her locks, letting them flow out, then spreads her wings in the sun.
>Shining Armor's jaw drops as the alicorn jumps gracefully into a large pool.
>"That's Cadence… My next door neighbor."
>You close your eyes and sigh.
>Of course-
>It just had to be her that Shining Armor chose to become sprung over...

>>43363981
>You decide to remain 'clueless'.
"Well, introduce me."
>Your friend keeps his gaze locked on the alicorn next door.
>He's gone.
>Practically drooling.
>You push past him and open the door to the back yard.
"Fine, I guess I have to do all the work for you."
>Turning your head back, you smirk at him.
"Still think I'm a jerk?"
>Now he's literally drooling.
>The only movement from him is his eyes, following Cadence as she swims around her pool.
>With a shake of your head, you turn and walk to the fence.
>She swims around in a lazy circle.
>Her wings stretch out-
>Slap the water-
>Then push her forward.
>Suppressing the voice in your head telling you to walk back inside and never go near this pony again-
>You lean over the top of the fence and speak.
"How's it going?"
>The pony stops and looks over at you.
>Her eyes widen.
>They scan over your face and you can already see her moving to do that annoying cheer she does whenever she meets you in town.
>Before she can even speak, you hold a finger to your lips and jab a thumb back in the direction of Shining Armor while shaking your head.
>She's smart.
>Quickly catching your drift, she speaks loudly.
>"Hello, my name is Cadence. What's yours?"
>You grab the fence with one hand.
"I'm Anon. A Human. I live in Ponyville. I'm just hanging out with my friend, Shining Armor."
>You turn and look back at your friend, who is still frozen in a stupid stare.
>Cadence giggles.
>"Is he okay?"
>A smile comes to your face.
>For some reason, you think your eyes glint.
"Why don't you come over and ask him? I'm sure he wants to say something."

>>43363982
>While Cadence dries off, you walk back to Shining Armor.
>He grabs you roughly by the shoulders and looks panicked into your eyes.
>"What did you say to her?!"
>You remove his hooves from your shirt.
"Chill. She's coming over to hang out. You're welcome."
>He begins pacing.
>"This is bad, Anon! Really bad!"
"Whoa whoa, wait. Why is this bad? Don't you want to hang out with her? Are you gonna be a beta bitchboi with this?"
>He rubs his head, "Anon, I haven't even talked to her yet! She's had dinner at our house and I couldn't even make eye contact."
>You sit on a chair at the kitchen table.
"Well get ready for contact, asshat- here she comes."
>Cadence walks up to the open door and smiles, "Knock knock, heh heh."
>Being the dumbass he is, Shining Armor just stands there gawking.
"Come on in. You thirsty?"
>You'll probably have to do all the work here.
>Cadence steps in and stands uncomfortably in the center of the room.
>Seems like she's good at playing shy when others are around...
>"I'm fine, thank you."
>You glare at Shining Armor and he finally speaks.
>"YoU FOAl siT m-mY SeesteRrrr."
>Jesus Christ.
>You give him a little slap and guide him to the table, sitting him down.
>Pulling out a chair, you offer Cadence a seat.
"I'll be right back, gotta go take the browns to the super bowl."
>Shining Armor stares at you in fear.

>>43363984
>You leave the kitchen and watch the two.
>He just needs to break the ice and he'll be set.
>It could go Titanic though.
>"What are you doing?"
>You turn and glare down at Twilight Sparkle.
"Shhhh! Go away! Don't ruin this for-"
>"CADENCE!"
>Twilight squeals and runs into the kitchen.
"Fuck me..."
>You walk back in and see the little cock-block run over to hug Cadence.
>"Are you staying tonight? I didn't think you were coming over!"
>Cadence squeezes her and sets Twilight down with a smile.
>"Oh, I was just coming over to hang out. I was finally meeting your brother."
>Twilight looks up at Shining Armor.
>He gulps.
>A smile slowly spreads across her face.
"Fuck..."
>You think you see an unspoken understanding pass between the two siblings.
>"Yeah, my brother is really cool and nice."
>You sigh.
>"Thanks Twi, I'm not that cool though."
>Shining Armor rests is muzzle on his hoof.
>His leg slides off the table and he almost smashes his face before catching himself.
>With a chuckle, he looks up and gives Cadence a goofy grin.
>Her face turns a little red and she giggles.
>That was a pretty pro move.
>If he just keeps working the 'adorably quirky hunk' angle, he'll be in the money.
>"So how long are you staying, Cadence?" Twilight asks.
>Cadence shrugs, "I don't know. Maybe a couple hour-"
>"Let's have a slumber party!"
>Twilight is officially working on your side.

>>43363986
>"Where are you going with this?"
>Twilight Sparkle sits beside you on the couch.
>The two of you can see Shining Armor and Cadence in the kitchen, chatting over some iced tea.
"I'm trying to help out your dopey big brother. You see Twilight, when two young teens are interested in each other, they-"
>Twilight holds up a hoof and rolls her eyes, "I know about that stuff. I mean- are you going to watch them until they decide to kiss?"
>You give her a raised eyebrow.
"Hey kid, you're sitting here watching too. And I'm not creepin', your brother needs as much help as he can get with this one. She's way out of his league."
>Twilight smiles and looks back to the kitchen.
>"Cadence is really nice."
>You look in the same direction and watch as Shining speaks and Cadence listens with her hooves under her chin.
>She notices you looking, smiles, then looks back to your friend.
>"Thanks, Anon."
"Huh?"
>Did Twilight just thank you?
>"My brother is very important to me. He deserves a good mare to make him happy. And to take care of him. I like Cadence. A lot."
>Twilight feels an obligation most siblings feel at least some time in their life-
>Their sibling's happiness.
>The word obligation is similar to what you feel as you watch your friend try to impress Cadence.
"I'm not selfish..."

>>43363987
>Twilight gets up, "No, you're just a jerk sometimes."
>She heads for the stairs, "I have to study."
>Before she ascends, the young pony stops, as though hit with a sudden realization and looks back at you with a confused stare, "Anon... Do you... Do you already know Cadence?"
>Staring at the pink alicorn, you wave your hand dismissively at the purple filly.
"No. Go do nerd shit and leave me be."
>Twilight nods and goes about her business, "Please don't wreck our house again."
>You snort and listen to the conversation taking place in the kitchen.
>"So why do you go to school in Ponyville when you live in Canterlot?" Cadence asks.
>Shining Armor chuckles, "Actually, I'll only be there for a few more months. I used to have a marefriend that went there so I- uh… Kinda begged my parents to transfer there."
>You can hear him fidgeting with his glass.
>"But she... Well she dumped me. Heh..."
>Cadence gives an apologetic smile, "So now you'll be going to school here at Canterlot High?"
>"Yep. My mom never really liked my ex anyway. She wants me to go to school here and focus on studying."
>"Are you going to miss Ponyville?"
>There's a bit of silence.
>"I'm going to miss my best friend... He's hysterical. Really good guy."
>Cadence looks over to you, scanning your face.
>You pull down on your hat and stand up.
>In the kitchen, Shining Armor yells out to you, "Hey Anon! Can you tell Cadence about that time you got Cheerilee to laugh so hard she- wait, he tells it better- Anon?!"
>You make your way to the front door.
>"Anon! Ya still awake?"
>Before Shining can peek around the corner, you're out of the house.
>On your way to the train station.

>>43363988
>It's been about two hours since you left.
>Mentally slapping yourself for not thinking about the train schedule before you walked out- you sit on a station bench, waiting.
>It's dark now and you're the only one waiting for the next train bound for Ponyville.
>You sigh and lean your head back on the wooden bench.
>"You left without even saying goodbye."
>The feminine voice scares the shit out of you, almost causing you to fall off your seat.
>Cadence is sitting right next to you.
"Holy shit, don't do that!"
>The mare cocks her head and smiles coyly, "Do what?"
>You scoot away from her a bit.
>She scoots closer.
"Why the hell are you here? Weren't you staying the night at Twilight and Shining Armor's?"
>Cadence rubs a hoof on the bench and shakes her head, "I already tucked Twilight in. And Shining Armor fell asleep on the couch. I was worried about you. Like I said- you left without even saying goodbye..."
>You stand up and stuff your hands into your pockets, walking away.
"Kay. Goodbye, Cadenza."
>She gets up and walks at your side.
>"Someone is gruuuuumpy~."
>You grind your teeth a little and stop, looking down at her.
"How long have you known me?"
>She puts a hoof to her chin and smiles, "Hmm, two weeks and three days!"
"Okay, that's plenty of time to take a hint."
>Cadence softly hoofs your leg, "The hint that you might actually be falling for me~?"
"No. The hint that I'm not interested in you. Not one bit."

>>43363991
>You turn and walk down the platform again.
>The annoying mare follows.
>"I don't believe you. Maybe you don't LIKE like me yet, but-"
>Spinning around, you cut her off and get eye level.
"Listen. To. Me. I don't like any pony that way. I'm a Human, the fuck are you even interested in me anyways? Every time I come to Canterlot, you follow me around, bugging the shit out of me!"
>What bothers you is that this is all just pouring from your mouth like a drain you cannot plug.
>And Cadenza is just sitting there with a smile.
"Is this all a joke to you?! Am I some joke?!"
>Silence fills the air.
>Cadence sighs, still smiling.
>"All done? I think it's good for you to get this all out."
>You let out a frustrated roar and turn again.
>Pink hooves slide over your shoulders and you feel Cadence's body press against your back.
>Her breath brushes against your ear and she giggles softly.
>"I'm not toying with you, Nonny. And I try to see you whenever you're in town because I really do like you."
>She rubs your shoulders.
>"Even if you don't like me~."
>In the distance, a loud whistle signals the train's approach.
>You step forward and Cadence slides off of your back.
>With your head down, you dig your nails into your palms.
"Please."
>The train glides into the station and stops, a door opening right next to you.
"Don't touch me."
>You board your ride back home.

>>43363992
>The train is empty, save for you and the porter-
>And the alicorn staring at you.
"Why are you here? This train is going to Ponyville."
>Cadence takes a seat across from you and sighs, "Guess I'm going to Ponyville."
"You aren't staying at my place tonight."
>"You'd let a young mare stay out in the streets at night? How awful~!"
>She gives you a doe-eyed look and bats her lashes.
>You grind your teeth again and look out of the window.
>"It's a beautiful night," Cadence mumbles, looking out at the stars.
>The armrest creaks in your death-grip.
"You're crazy, you know that? Absolutely batshit insane."
>Cadence giggles, "I'm a little... Odd, but not crazy."
"You're following some guy you barely know away from your home, hoping he'll let you stay at his place. Do you even plan anything, or is it you just do whatever you want?"
>She rests her head on the back of her seat, "I know you well enough, Anonymous. I know you won't leave me on the streets on a cold night. And I planned to be away from home tonight. Didn't specify where though. Anything else?"
>With a shrug, you go back to looking out of the window.
>"Okay, my turn for a question."
"No."
>"Do you want me to start dating Shining Armor?"

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>>43363993
>You slowly turn to look at her.
>Gone is the flirty smile.
>She stares back with a dead-set gaze.
"Do I want you to date Shining Armor?"
>"Do you want me to date Shining Armor?"
>Uncomfortably, you shift weight.
"You're really doing this?"
>She leans forward, "It started making sense when I heard he'd be leaving your school soon. You want to set him up with me so he'll be happy. Because you'll miss him, when he's gone. So I wonder, is he your closest friend-
>"Or your only friend?"
>That hit a bit of a nerve.
"He's NOT my only friend."
>Cadence gives her sweetest smile, "Then how far are you willing to go for your closest friend~?"
>Exactly what you thought she was doing.
"What the fuck do you want from me?"
>The answer should be obvious.
>Cadence giggles excitedly.
>"I will be Shining Armor's marefriend. "
"Aaaaand?"
>She floats over and snuggles up next to you.
>"You'll owe me a few favors~!"
>Shining Armor better be happy he has a friend like you.
>As long as Cadence doesn't keep stalking you and Shining Armor is happy, you'll do what needs to be done.
"No sex and you better make him a Prince some day, or something."
>Cadence laughs and wraps her hooves around your arm.
>"This is the start of an exciting relationship~!"
>You look out of the window miserably.
>Cheerilee's words come to mind as a light rain begins to pelt the train.

>"Do you often feel alone, Anon?"

[END OF CHAPTER 1]

https://youtu.be/OLAl2Fhk9dg

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>>43363994
Cadenza Grave [Chapter II]

>It's the sun that wakes you up twenty minutes before your alarm goes off.
>You open your eyes and stare at the ceiling.
>It's still odd to you that in Ponyville, school starts in the Spring and goes until Winter.
>The birds make a racket outside your window under the late spring sunrise.
>Suddenly, you sit upright in your bed.
>Cadence is in your house.
>You jump out of bed and exit your room, walking briskly out to the living room.
>Cadence had agreed to sleep on the couch last night.
>You enter your living room and find it empty.
>The blanket you let her sleep with is folded neatly atop a pillow on the couch.
"Cadence?"
>Her voice calls out to you from the kitchen.
>"In here!"
>You stomp to the kitchen to find her staring into your open fridge.
>"I was hoping you'd have something good to eat, but..."
>You cross your arms and lean on the door frame.
"Sorry, I don't have the full Canterlot five-course breakfast."
>Cadence rolls her eyes and pulls a banana from the top of the fridge then peels it.
>"I was thinking more along the lines of buttered toast or something, but you don't have butter. Just a lot of frozen-"
>She looks away from the fridge and to you, stopping her sentence short.
>Her eyes scan you up and down while she chews.
>"Pizza..."
>You look down and realize you're still not dressed, only wearing a pair of shorts.
>With a sigh, you turn and head back to your bedroom.
"Eat whatever you want. I'm going to school soon."
>Once in your bedroom, you simply put on a shirt that smells normal and some socks.
>That's the limit of your care for fashion.
>Well- of course you put on your toboggan hat.
>You turn and freeze.
>Now Cadence is leaning up against your bedroom door frame.
>She watches with a bored expression, still chewing her banana.

>>43364017
"Hey, yeah- it's okay if you watch me get dressed. That's totally cool."
>"You wear your pajamas to school?"
>You grab your backpack from in front of your closet.
"And you wear nothing. I think the latter is a bit more bizarre, but that's just like, uh... My opinion, man."
>You push past Cadence and walk toward the living room again.
"Well. I'm going to school. Time for you to go back to the mall, or whatever it is you do."
>You open the front door.
>"Yo!"
>Shining Armor is standing on your front porch.
>You slam the door closed as fast as you can.
>Shining's voice comes through muffled, "Hey! Anon, what the hay?!"
>You lean your back against the door and raise a finger to your mouth just as Cadence walks into the living room with her banana floating beside her.
>She simply smiles at your panicked look, but doesn't speak.
"Hang on bro! I have to take a shit!"
>You lock the door and rush to Cadence, pushing her back toward the hall.
>"Well can't you let me like, wait in the living room or something?" Shining Armor tries to open the door.
"I'll be done in a minute!"
>You lead Cadence to the bathroom and push her inside.
>"Anon, I'd rather not watch you do this."
>You lean down and hiss at her stupid face.
"Stay in here and don't make a sound. We'll leave soon, then you'll give it five minutes and go home."
>Before she can reply, you close the door and go back to the living room.
>You open the front door and find your friend sitting on the porch.
>"That was quick. Everything good?"
>Stepping outside, you close the door behind you.
"Yeah man. Must have eaten something bad. Ready?"
>Shining gives you a confused look, "To go? We've got like a half hour before we have to leave. I wanted to come in and get a drink."

>>43364018
>You look at your watch and sigh.
>If you let him in and he finds out Cadence is in your house...
>Confident that Cadence won't do anything stupid, you relent.
"Sure. Come on."
>You open the door and let him trot past you.
"Just don't go anywhere near that bathroom. Serious biohazard, man."
>He chuckles and throws his saddlebag onto the couch, "Will do. You got any more of that bomb tea you had last time?"
>You cast a nervous glance toward the hall.
"I think so. Uh, top shelf."
>Following Shining into the kitchen, you watch him pull down some tea bags and your kettle.
"Why'd you come to my place this morning? Did you get on the train too early or something?"
>You sit at the kitchen table.
>He starts the oven and seems to gain a sudden energy.
>"Nah, so get this! I heard that Flitter is having some crazy party at her house this weekend!"
>You sigh.
"Oh yeah. I forgot to tell you that she wanted you to come, or something."
>Shining taps his hooves together, looking confident.
>"Yeah! Everypony is gonna be there, bro! Like, EVERYPONY. So I was thinking about inviting Cadence to go with me..."
>The last part seems to be where he deflates.
"And?"
>Now he looks nervous.
>"Aaaaand... Well, I'm super nervous about asking her!"
>With another sigh, you place your chin in your palm with your arm resting on the table and gaze out of the window.
"Why the hell are you nervous? Pretty much any mare at school would say yes to you. Maybe even some of the teachers..."
>Shining Armor takes the whistling kettle from the stove and begins to pour the steaming water into a cup.
>"This is different, bro. Cadence is like... A ten!"
>You smirk.
>"You didn't seem to be nervous when you asked that ten-year-old filly to give you a sexual favor. Hey, hey Shining- remember that time you asked a ten-year-old filly to suc-"
>"GAAAH, I KNEW I SHOULDN'T HAVE SAID THAT! WOULD YOU STOP BRINGING THAT UP?! I didn't know, Anon!"

>>43364019
>There's a sudden sound of something crashing in your bathroom.
>Both of you freeze.
>"What was that?"
>You stand up and hold an arm out to calm Shining Armor.
"Ah, it's just the pipes under my bathroom sink. I'll go shut 'em up. You stay here."
>He shrugs and sits at the table, taking a sip of tea.
>"This is some bomb tea though, for real..."
>You leave the kitchen and rush to the bathroom.
>Quickly, you slip inside and slam the door behind you.
>Cadence is sitting on the toilet.
>The candle you had on the counter lays on the floor, the glass container shattered.
"What are you doing?!"
>You hiss in a whisper.
>Thankfully, she's not actually using the toilet and is sitting on the closed lid.
>"Sorry!" She whispers back, "I accidentally hit it with my wing."
>You rub your head in frustration.
"Just be quiet! We'll be leaving soon."
>"Anon, wait!"
>Before you can leave, Cadence grabs your hand.
"What?"
>She has a sly smile on her face.
>"You can tell Shining Armor that I'll go to that party with him."
>You give her a confused look.
>"Just suggest that you'll ask me for him, since he's so nervous."
"Okay... And what do you want in return?"
>The pink mare shakes her head, "Nothing. Not right now. I just want to go to the party with you guys."
>You narrow your eyes at her.
"Sure..."
>"Actually, now that I think about it... I wouldn't mind a kiss from you-"
>You slam the bathroom door in her face.

>>43364020
>During your walk to school with Shining Armor, you suggest that you will ask Cadence to the party for him.
>Being the goober that your friend is, he immediately breaks out into songs of your praise.
>Not literally.
>But while he babbles on about how stoked he is and how you should properly ask Cadence, you tune him out and wonder if the harlot pink mare actually left your house.
>Or if she'll still be there waiting after school.
>Didn't she have a school to go to?
>You're broken out of your bitter thoughts by Flitter appearing in front of you like some sort of slutty phantom.
>"Heeeeey Shining Armor!~"
>Your friend stops speaking and gives Flitter a wide-eyed look.
>"Oh- uh, hi."
>Completely ignoring your glare, Flitter tosses her mane and flicks her tail with a sultry look at Shining hunk.
>What a whore.
>"So like, I heard you're bringing a mare to my party?"
>Shining Armor looks lost and fumbles over his words.
>"Aheeeuh…. A m-mare…"
>Flitter bites her lip and bats her eyes, "Yeah… To my party? I'm having a party tomorrow night."
>You roll your eyes and pull a cigarette out of your pocket.
>The two ponies give you a shocked look, but don't dare say anything as you light up.
>You almost hope Cheerilee comes out to see you burning one in front of the school.
>Shining Armor's brain seems to catch up with his mouth, "Oh, y-yuh… Well, I haven't asked her yet. But uh, yeah. Yeah."
>What a goober.

>>43364022
>Flitter flicks her mane again and leans closer to your friend, "So like… Is she like, your marefriend or something?"
>Shining Armor blushes and looks down at the ground.
>"No! I mean, we're not going out. But we live next to each other."
>Flitter grins, "Oh! So like, you're still on the market?"
>You want to be anywhere but here at this moment.
>Shining Armor tilts his head, genuinely confused.
>"Go to the market? Like shopping?"
>With your eyes closed, you let out a low hiss of embarrassment and smoke.
>Flitter lets out a fucking awful forced laugh and bucks Shining lightly with her hoof, "No, silly! Like, you're still single, riiiight?"
>Shining Armor chuckles that chuckle you know very well.
>Time seems to slow down.
>Okay-
>This chuckle that Shining Armor does- it's sort of like a poker tell.
>A sign of what's lurking behind those dopey eyes.
>And what always comes after that dumbass jocky guffaw is ALWAYS something absolutely fucking retarded.
>Before you can stop him, Shining let's his dumbass mouth run.
>"Well, I'm not getting sucked off by anypony in the bathroom- so I'd say I'm still single! Haha! Got heem! Right, Anon?"
>Shining Armor holds up a hoof for you to pound.
>Flitter stands there with her mouth hanging open like the sluttiest fish in the ocean.
>You don't even make eye contact with your friend and leave his hoof hanging, un-pounded.
"Alright then."
>You snuff your cigarette out in the dirt with your foot and walk away from the scene of Shining Armor's latest accident.

>>43364024
"So then, she tells me that she wants to see me at lunch today."
>You caught up with Colgate after first period.
>The two of you stand alone behind the gym while you smoke and tell her about your interaction with Cheerilee yesterday.
>Colgate snaps her gum like a pro and shakes her head with a smirk, "Aw, she cares about you, Anon!"
"She cares TOO much to be normal."
>You take a drag and offer your cigarette to Colgate.
>She shakes her head.
>These cigarettes are extremely hard for you to get and you never share them with anyone.
>But it always brought you some amusement to offer your friend with perfect teeth a drag, even though she always refused.
>"She's like your mom… Oh! You should call her mommy!"
>You almost choke and give her an incredulous look.
"The fuck?"
>Colgate giggles and paws at the ground with a hoof.
>You've known her long enough to be able to sense the subtle change in her demeanor, despite that million-bit smile still planted on her face.
>She swallows her gum.
>"Hey… Speaking of mommy…"
>You raise an eyebrow and watch in silence as she scans the area, like she's looking for spies.
>Reaching back with a hoof, Colgate unbuckles her saddlebags and lets them slide down her side to crash against the grass below.
>Your eyes focus on her back and smoke streams out from your nostrils.
>Colgate stands in front of you with bright red cheeks and a scrunched muzzle.
>On her back is a black lace saddle.

>>43364025
>It looks extremely delicate and feminine, like it was hand-sewn.
>Hoof-sewn.
"Uh, wha-"
>Colgate flicks her tail and looks up at you with doe eyes.
>"Whaddya think? B-Bet you didn't know that I was so… Kinky."
>In the awkward silence, the two of you gaze into each other's eyes for what seems like an eternity.
>Finally, you break the tension and raise your face to the sky, letting out a laugh from deep within your belly.
>Colgate scrambles to pick up her saddlebags and cover herself while looking around in a panic, "Anon! Shhh shhh, shut up! What if somepony sees?!"
>You clamp a hand over your mouth and apologize.
"Sorry! Haha, s-sorry!"
>Colgate looks humiliated and gazes miserably at the ground as she holds her saddlebag over her lingerie.
>"I'm sorry I'm such a… Joke to you."
>You contain yourself, now feeling like shit.
"Wait, Minuette- I'm sorry!"
>She whips her face up to you and seethes, "Don't call me that! Call me Colgate!"
>You hold up your hands to calm her.
"Sorry! Okay, Colgate- let me see it again."
>She huffs and turns away to glare at the ground with her muzzle scrunched again.
>"No! Just forget you saw it, jerk!"
>With a grin and an eye roll, you stoop down and grab her muzzle to turn her head toward you.
>There are faint tears welling up in her eyes and her cheeks turn deep crimson.
>"L-Leave me alone…"
>You stare into her eyes with all the austerity you can muster.
"Col. I want to see it again. You just caught me off guard."
>She tries to pull away from you, but can only avert her eyes.
>"No! You'll just laugh again! You're such a… A b-big… BIG IDIOT!"

>>43364028
>Now a tear slides down her cheek as she squeezes her eyes shut and shouts at you.
>With a sigh, you flick out your cigarette.
>There's only one way to appease a pouting Colgate.
>As quick as Joe Biden at Chucky Cheese, you snatch Colgate in your hands, flip her around and press her flat against the back wall of the gym.
>She tenses up in panic from being manhandled and can only let out a frightened yip as you press her belly and face against the wood.
>"ANON! WHA-"
>Holding the back of her neck with one hand (not too tightly), you use your other hand to snatch the saddlebags off her back and toss them to the grass.
>Leaning down, you whisper into her ear, making it spaz out against your lips.
>"Shhh… Someone will hear you…"
>Colgate weakly scrambles against the wall with her front hooves and gulps, groaning meekly.
>"Anon… This is…"
>You run a hand across the silk saddle on her back, making her arch and stomp the ground violently with a back hoof.
"You thought you were a bad mare, wearing this under your bags at school, huh?"
>Colgate lets out a labored breath and squeezes her eyes shut tight, her cheek sliding slightly down the wall.
>"Mmmm- I… I thought you'd l-like it."
>This whole time, her tail has been lifted and tossed to the side.
>It's fun to tease Colgate.
>And honestly- sort of cathartic.
>You breathe out through your nose directly into her ear, making it bat against your face again.
"You wanna know what I think?"

>>43364029
>Colgate's stomach caves in to your breath in her ear and you can feel her tail lashing against your thigh desperately.
>"Oh, Celestia- Anon, I think I'm gonna-"
>You press against her a bit harder and use your free hand to grab her meaty flank, squeezing her cutie mark and making her squeal.
"I think…"
>Moving your mouth from her ear, you lean down toward her muzzle.
"I think you're pretty cute."
>With that, you give her a small peck on the tip of her snout.
>letting her go, you back up and adjust your backpack with a smirk.
"For a pony."
>Colgate stands awkwardly against the wall with her eyes open wide.
>She turns her head back to you and her tail drops down, hiding her sensitive parts from you all too late.
>"Anon… I think I…"
>You give her an 'OK' gesture with your hand and a wink.
"Love me? I already know that."
>She drops back down to four hooves and swipes her saddlebag from the ground.
>"I was going to say 'hate you', but you already know THAT. Idiot."
>She sounds mad, but you can see the faint smile on her face and the excitement behind her eyes.
"Yeah, well that was exciting, huh?"
>She shakes her head and walks past you.
>"You better go to class."
>You turn and watch her walk in the opposite direction of her next class.
"Yo, Col, where you goin'?"
>She doesn't turn back, but flicks her tail at you and lets you get another quick peek at your handy work.
>"To the bathroom, if you must know- JERK!"
>You watch her leave, a bit of an extra sway in her flanks.
"Ah."
>That was fun.
"But probably a mistake."

>>43364030
>It's lunch.
>There was a moment where you considered skipping out on Cheerilee and going to find Colgate.
>It would be pretty choice to tease her again.
>But instead, you eat a sandwich while you make your way to Cheerilee's classroom.
>When you walk through the open doorway, Cheerilee glances up at you from her desk in mild shock.
>"Anon… I'm surprised, to say the least."
"Yeah, and I'm blue ballin' a bit, so seems we're both a bit uncomfortable."
>You flop down at your usual desk near the back of the room and toss your backpack onto the desk next to you.
>It slides off the other side and crashes to the ground.
>Your pack of cigarettes and a notebook come sliding out across the floor.
>Shit.
>You glance up at Cheerilee as she stares like a hawk at the tobacco.
"Holdin' 'em for a friend."
>Cheerilee gets up from her chair and goes over to close the door.
>Without a word, she glides over and picks up your smokes in her mouth.
>On guard, you sit tense as she walks over to your desk.
>She leans down and drops the cigarettes near your hand.
>"Disgusting habit."
>That's all she says, then takes a seat at the desk in front of you after turning it around.
>You clench your jaw.
"That's it?"
>Cheerilee raises an eyebrow at you, a slight smirk playing about her face.
>"What do you mean?"
>For some reason, you're really getting more pissed every second you stare at her serene face.
>She has a way of getting under your skin.
"You don't care that I smoke?"
>Cheerilee sighs and shrugs, "I care. I worry about your health. But it's your body and your choice."
>You scoff and cross your arms.
"Oh, you care about my health?"
>Cheerilee nods, "Yes."
>You glare at her.
>She blinks and gazes back at you, calm as can be.
>Silence.
"What is it you want?"

>>43364032
>She smiles softly and leans her muzzle on her hoof, "I'd like to hear what's going on in your head."
>You click your tongue and look out of the window.
"You're a teacher, not my shrink."
>"I'm more than that, Anon."
>You turn back to her and sneer.
"What makes you think you're anything more than an annoyance to me?"
>Unphased, she taps her desk lightly with a hoof.
>"I'm somepony that will listen to you. Actually listen."
>You regard her with a frown and let out a deep breath.
"Honestly? This wannabe therapist bullshit- I commend you for trying. But I'm sure you don't get paid enough for it."
>Cheerilee chuckles, "Anon, I commend you for your skill in disguising your vulnerability with flippant behavior, but I'm telling you earnestly- I really do want to hear what you have to say."
>What a pushy cunt.
>She probably thinks she's so clever.
>"I know you're more than just another foul-mouthed ruffian."
"Ruffian?"
>"Anon, I can honestly say that you're one of the most intelligent teens I've ever met."
>You snort and roll your eyes.
"Oh, teach… Flattery will get you everywhere."
>At this point, you're not entirely sure she understands sarcasm.
>"And while I can see that intelligence lurking below your… Defensive facade-"
"No."
>You hold up a finger and shake your head.
"There's no facade here."
>"I also see a boy that is hurting."
>There it is.
>This bitch is insane.
>"You're so full of rage and sadness, Anonymous. Bitterness and pain. It's so obvious that you hide all of this agony inside and bury it with reflexive sarcasm and destructive antagonistic behavior."
>Oh, she does get sarcasm.

>>43364034
>Cheerilee finally shuts up and stares at you in silence.
>She looks legitimately compassionate.
>It's like a zoo keeper looking with pity upon a sick animal.
>That's…
>That is something you have never seen before- a look of pure pity zeroed in on you.
>The only thing you can do is look down at your arms.
>Anything but look at those eyes.
>Something is resonating deep within you.
>But not from any of Cheerilee's stupid words.
>That look is like a boiler plate set under your guts.
>Pity.
>Pity and compassion.
>Hate.
>That's all you feel.
>Instead of weakness or vulnerability, a great sense of hate is welling up within you.
>There is now an urge to lash out.
>You want to tear this fucking classroom apart.
>To grab Cheerilee by her mane and rip those fucking eyes out of her head.
>To crush them in your bare hand and scream into her skull through the holes.
>It's…
>Frightening.

>>43364039
>You control your breathing and squeeze your nails into your palms.
>"Anon? You're turning quite red…"
>With a deep breath, you relax your body and stand up.
"Cheerilee."
>Without looking at her still, you go over and collect your backpack, returning your smokes and notebook to it.
"I-I need to go. I'm not sure it's a good idea to stay here. I don't think it's safe for you to be around me right now…"
>Though you can't see her, you know that behind you Cheerilee is still casting that stupid fucking look of pity on the back of your head.
>"Okay, Anonymous. Here, take this."
>You glance back and see her scribbling on a slip of paper.
>She holds it out toward you with a gentle smile.
>"A hall pass. Take it."
>Your eyes finally scan her face.
>She looks tired.
>Older than you remember her ever looking.
>So tired.
>You take the pass and examine it.
>"Take a break before going to your next class."
>You look back to her in confusion.
>Really?
>She laughs softly, "Go have a cigarette and calm your nerves."
>Why is she doing this?
>There's nothing about her that you can understand.
>If anyone had mastered the art of the facade, it was Cheerilee.
>"I'll see you during fifth period, okay?"
>Pocketing the hall pass, you simply nod and walk away, out of her classroom.
>What a bitch.
>She ruined your whole day…
>And the worst part is-
>The smell of her perfume sticks in your nostrils like a saccharine miasma long after you leave her.

>>43364041
>Fuck Cheerilee.
>And fuck this stupid school.
>You decide to skip.
>Walking away from campus, you light up your third cigarette in a row and sigh.
>She really got you worked up.
>The memory of that rage is still strong in your mind.
>Never before had you felt such pure animalistic hatred.
>You weren't joking about it being unsafe to stay around Cheerilee.
>In your whole life, you had never hurt anyone.
>But that…
>A feeling you never wanted to experience again.
>The impending loss of control was terrifying.
>What kind of damage could you do to a pony?
>"Skipping class? You delinquent~!"
>Flinching, you stop walking and come out of your brooding to find the worst possible pony standing in front of you.
>Cadence waves a hoof at you and grins.
>"I got bored of waiting for you to come home. I was gonna come to your school and pretend I was a transfer student! Haha!"
>You can't do this now.
>Without a word, you turn around and walk back the way you came.
>"Anon, where are you going?"
>Ignoring Cadence, you pick up the pace.
>Cadence teleports in front of you, stopping you dead in your tracks.
>Her big eyes visually molest you.
"Cadence. Get the fuck out of my way. Now."
>You're displaying tremendous amounts of patience with her.
>Her smile turns into a frown as she leans closer to you.
>Inhaling the rest of your cigarette, you blow the smoke directly into her face.
>To your surprise, she takes all of the smoke in through her nostrils.
>With a slight glow around her horn, she blows the smoke back out of her mouth toward you.
>It magically turns into the shape of a heart.

>>43364042
>Strangely, instead of being annoyed, a sense of relief washes over you when the smoke touches your skin.
>Like a head rush.
>Or a warm liquid pouring down your spine and out to your limbs.
>"Anon, you were really worked up! Do you feel any better now?"
>Your shoulders slump and you sigh.
"I… Yeah, actually. What was that?"
>Cadence rocks back and forth and grins, "Secret family technique. Though-"
>She stops smiling and eyes your chest in concentration.
>"Seems like there's still quite a bit of scary stuff in there."
>You grumble and pull your hat down on your head.
"Don't you start with any fucking therapist shit too, I swear to God."
>Cadence shakes her head and furrows her brow.
>"No, I'm serious. Super serious. Anon, I could help get rid of that for you."
>This is not what you needed at all.
>Why couldn't ponies just leave you alone?
"Cadence, I don't need help. I'm just gonna go back to school."
>Probably the best place to get away from her.
>It's not like you had to actually go to class.
>"I don't think that's a good idea, Anon."
>You stop and growl in frustration.
"What? Why? WHY the FUCK can't you just leave me alone?! Take a hint!"
>Cadence ignores the tension as usual and trots over to you.
>"Anon, I'm being serious. Super serious. I can sense the anger inside of you. If you go back to school right now, it's going to end up bad for you- and probably some poor pony as well."

>>43363955
>Holy shit, I am so old now
If it makes you feel better, I'm so old I watched Rescue at Midnight Castle with my sister, on its first run in '84.

>>43364044
>You clench your fists and stare at her like she's nothing more than an annoying dog.
>No matter how much you want to deny it, she's right.
>Despite how annoying Cheerilee is, you didn't really want to go postal on her.
>Or on any pony for that matter.
>Giving in, you rub your temples in exhaustion.
"Okay. Fuck it. Fine. What are you gonna do? Some spell?"
>Cadence spreads her wings in excitement and does a cheer.
>Immediately regretting this.
>"Okay, okay! It's a bit of magic and a bit of… Something else~."
"Something else. Right."
>She starts looking around.
>"We'll need somewhere private though."
>You reach out and snap your fingers in front of her face, making her flinch.
"Cadence, I swear- if you try any shit, I might not be able to hold back."
>She waves a hoof nonchalantly, "I know. No tricks. And the idea is for you to not hold back."
>Ominous.
"What the hell are you talking about?"
>Cadence snatches your hand in her hoof and starts flying in the direction of the local smoothie shop.
>"Just come on!"
>You let her guide you along, her fruity-smelling tail slapping you in the face.
"So 'somewhere private' is the smoothie shop?"
>"Yeah. Behind it."
>She leads you around the side of the building and to a back alley.
>It's actually very secluded- filled with stacks of boxes and a large dumpster, giving lots of options for hiding away from prying eyes.
"Uh, you come back here often?"

>>43364045
Damn, son. I was born in 91. Where does the time go? To hell. It goes to fucking hell. (I think I want to die)

>>43364046
>Cadence ignores your quip and pulls you over to the side of the dumpster.
>"Okay, just sit down with your back against the wall."
>You stand still and frown at her.
"This is how a lot of my favorite snuff films start."
>Cadence gives you a confused look.
>"Snuff? Is that pornography?"
>You laugh at her.
"Ha! Who taught you that word?"
>She gives you a serious look.
>"Anon, please. Just humor me."
>You narrow your eyes at her.
"Why? Why are you doing this for me?"
>Cadence sighs and speaks rapidly, "Because I'm compelled to- It's a cutie mark thing, you wouldn't understand."
>Seems legit.
"Okay, so you do this for me and then I owe you a favor, right?"
>Cadence shakes her head.
>"If you just let me do this spell, I'll go home and leave you alone for the rest of the day."
"Rest of the week?"
>Cadence does a fake pout.
>"You're so mean to me, Anon."
>With only a bit of nervous suspicion, you take a seat on the cement and lean back against the wall of the smoothie shop.
"Aight, what now?"
>Cadence begins to charge her horn.
>"Just try to relax. Think of everything that's been recently making you upset."
>Relax?
>Sure.
>Sitting on the ground in a dirty alley while an alicorn charges her lasers in front of you is totally relaxing.

>>43364047
>It's quite easy to bring to mind just what's upsetting you.
>An image of Cheerilee pops into your head.
>She's staring at you with that look.
>Pity.
>It instantly makes your stomach sink.
"Cadence, I-"
>"Shhhh… Just close your eyes and concentrate, Anon."
>You close your eyes and enter a world of nothing but you and Cheerilee's stupid face.
"If I start turning red, just back off."
>"Shhhh…"
>There's a sudden pressure on your lap and your eyes shoot open.
>Cadence is sitting on your crotch, belly to belly.
>She places her hooves on your shoulders and brings her glowing horn close to your forehead.
"Cadence, what the fu-"
>"SHHHHH!"
>She places a hoof to your lips with her eyes closed.
>"Anon," she speaks gently, "please. For this to work, I'm going to need silence for a bit. It's a spell that relies on pure concentration."
>You swallow and relax back against the wall.
"Sorry…"
>It's not comfortable at all having Cadence straddle you, but at least she smells nice, you'll give her that.
>"Just close your eyes. Concentrate. And wait for my signal."
>Signal?
>You close your eyes and focus again.
>Cadence lightly presses down on your shoulders and you can feel a slight warmth on your head emanating from her horn.
>Now that you're quiet, you notice that Cadence is making a humming noise that seems to be coming from deep within her body.

>>43364048
>The sound seems to resonate around the alley, growing in volume.
>Again you can feel that sensation of warm liquid pouring down your spine.
>It feels amazing.
>Along with the humming coming from her and the warmth from her horn, it feels like your body is starting to vibrate along with Cadence's.
>"Okay, Anon…"
>A numbing sensation shoots into your stomach from where her belly is pressed against yours.
>Your breath catches in your throat and you almost let out a moan of pleasure.
>Thank fuck you keep your mouth clamped shut.
>"On the count of three, I want you to open your eyes."
"Ah, o-oooookay!"
>Fucking shit, your voice comes out raspy and high-pitched.
>This feels better than…
>Well, getting head from Flitter, that's for sure.
>"When you open your eyes, I want you to bite down on my neck."

>>43364050
>Is this bitch serious?
>Cadence tilts her muzzle up and exposes her soft pink throat to you.
>"Anon, you NEED to do this, or else I'm going to be hit with a feedback loop of really potent energy!"
>Shit.
>Fuck.
>Piss.
>With a roar, you lean forward and clamp your teeth down on the side of her neck.
>Her hooves squeeze tighter around your own neck and she hisses through her teeth.
>"Harder, Anon…"
>You're not biting very hard at all, as you don't want to do damage.
>"It's okay. Bite harder!"
>With a grunt, you clamp down and feel your teeth make significant impressions into her flesh.
>Cadence groans like a banshee and her hoof slides over the back of your head, knocking your hat off.
>"Harder! Let out all of your frustration, Anon!"
>As strange as this is, you feel compelled to do as she says.
>You really bite down.
>The taste of blood strikes your tongue and Cadence starts braying against you.
>Animalistic rage-
>Pure testosterone driven energy floods through your whole body and you grab a handful of Cadence's mane, pulling her head to the side and growling like some hungry beast against her bleeding neck.
>It's not much blood and not a very significant puncture wound, but something about the slight taste is driving you insane.
>You may kill her at this rate…

>>43364051
>All of your rage is pouring out of you.
>Your frustration seems to be literally seeping through every tooth- clawing into Cadence's neck like angry daggers of spite.
>Cadence's hot breath tickles your ear as she pants against you, huffing out the same words over and over.
>"Bite me, bite down… Bite me- bite down…"
>Her hoof tugs the hair on the back of your head.
>You can no longer taste any blood and it feels like your jaw is naturally relaxing from its intense hold on her jugular.
>Suddenly, there's no more rage left within you.
>It's like hypnosis wearing off.
>Your eyes crack open and you notice that all of the bizarre stars have vanished and you're back in the dirty alley.
>Cadence is still wrapped around you like a skanky blanket.
>You can feel her gyrating her flanks slightly, rubbing herself on your lap and panting like a bitch in heat against your ear.
>You take your mouth away from her neck.
>She gasps and exhales all the air from her lungs.
>With a grunt, you pluck her from your body and push her hard.
>She goes rolling across the alley in a flurry of feathers and hair.
"What the FUCK was that?!"
>You stand up and wipe your mouth with the back of your hand.
>There's a streak of blood on your skin.
>Cadence collects herself and wipes some drool off of her own mouth.
>She smiles at you bashfully, her wings erect and practically throbbing.
>"Wow. That was… Intense."

>>43364053
>'Intense' didn't do whatever the hell that was justice.
>Though in the heat of the moment, you seemed to transcend physical existence in a state of pure bliss-
>You never, ever want to do that again.
"I don't even know what… Did we- did we just soul bond or some shit?"
>Cadence tilts her head, "Soul bond? I don't know what that is."
>You look back down at your hand.
>Cadence's blood has dried on your skin.
"Please tell me you don't have horse AIDS or something. Should I get tested?"
>She still looks confused.
>"Anon, it's okay. That was a spell meant to draw out all the negative energy inside of you."
>You gaze at her and take mental stock of your body.
>Now that you focus, she seems to be telling the truth.
>There's not an ounce of any negative feeling left.
>You feel oddly relaxed and… Full?
"So, you like- milked me or something?"
>Cadence gives you a sultry look, "Not quite, but that can be arranged."
>You flip her off, the gesture lost on her.
"Calm down. What- why the fuck did I have to bite you though?"
>Cadence giggles and tries to retract her wings.
>"That was actually more for me, to be honest."
>You advance on her menacingly.
"Cadence, I told you-"
>She holds up her hooves defensively, "Either way- I needed a way for you to physically express your frustration!"
>You relax and sigh, lighting a cigarette.
"So your bright idea was to have me drink your blood?"
>She brushes her neck with a hoof, "Well, it was either that, or having you choke me or something- and I'm saving that for marriage…"

>>43364055
>This pony should be thrown in a prison on some isolated island.
"You're kind of fucked in the head, you know that?"
>Cadence's eyes flash as though you just gave her a compliment.
>"So… Was it as good for you as it was for me~?"
>You turn and start walking out of the alley.
"Well, that's that. So long, psycho mare. I guess I'll see you tomorrow."
>Cadence teleports in front of you again.
>That's starting to piss you off.
>"Wait, Anon."
>There's no will left in you to even muster the energy to glare at her anymore.
>You're feeling too mellowed out.
"Didn't we agree that you would leave me alone for the rest of the day?"
>Cadence floats in the air and clops her hooves together, "Actually, I changed my mind."
>Now you glare.
"Too bad."
>"Just one small little favor, pleeeease~?"
>Jesus Christ, you really fucked up her neck.
"You should really get that cleaned up."
>She brushes a hoof over the wound, "I'll heal it up, after my small favor?"
>You sigh.
"And that is?"
>Cadence points to her throat.
>"Before you go, will you choke me a little bit~?"

>>43364058
"..."
>How could you possibly go through with hooking your best friend up with this demon?
>She bursts out laughing and lands back on her hooves.
>"I'm just KIDDING, Anon! Hahaha, you should see your face!"
"Ha… So funny."
>Cadence collects herself and wipes her eye.
>"No, for realsies- I do have a favor."
"Spit it out. I should get back to class now that I've calmed down."
>She twirls a bit of her mane with a hoof.
>"Can you just ask Shining Armor to come over to my place after school today?"
>That makes you tense up.
"What, are you gonna make him suck your blood too?"
>A look you can only describe as pure sexual obsession overtakes her face.
>"Of course not- that's our special thing, Anon~."
>You force a shiver.
"Something's not right with you."
>Her tail flicks, "I'll be gentle with him. For now. Why do you want to know, are you jealous?"
"Pff. Don't flatter yourself. But yeah, whatever. I'll let him know."
>Cadence does her stupid cheer thing again.
"But remember: he's my best friend. If you hurt him, you'll have to answer to me."
>Her hooves go to her throat and she pretends to choke herself, her tongue flopping out and eyes bulging.
>She lets go of her neck and the normal innocent smile returns to her face.
"Looking forward to it~!"
"You're sort of disgusting to me."
>She does a pose and winks at you, "As long as you think of me. Bye, Anon~."
>With that, she teleports away, leaving you standing alone on the road.

>>43364059
>As you walk back to school, you come across an unexpected sight.
>Fluttershy's small ass.
>Up ahead, you see her tiny yellow butt sticking out of a bush on the side of the road.
>The gangly tween-mare legs and pink tail can only belong to Fluttershy.
>You walk over, debating whether to give her wiggling flank a slap, or das boot.
>When you get closer, you can hear her talking as she wiggles around in the shrub.
>"Oh, please… Please just come out, p-please?"
>After a deep breath, you shout as loud as you can.
"FIRE! RUN! THERE'S A FIRE!"
>Fluttershy's lanky legs lock up and she falls out of the bush onto her side like a fainting goat, a look of sheer terror frozen on her face.
>You double over in laughter.
>Fluttershy snaps out of it and curls up into a ball on the ground, tears in her eyes.
>Well shit…
>It's not often you feel bad for Fluttershy.
>You stop laughing and offer her a hand.
"I'm sorry, Flutterbooboo. I had to."
>She tentatively reaches up and takes your hand.
>You pull her up and she stands on wobbling legs before you.
>After you let go of her hoof, she immediately brings it to her nose and inhales deeply.
>It's like you're a magnet for broken ponies.
>"Um, h-hi, Anon. What um, what are you doing here?"
>You cock an eyebrow at her.
"I was just doing a soul bond in an alley, you know- the usual. But what are YOU doing here, banana hush? Shouldn't you be in school?"

>>43364061
>Fluttershy looks back toward the bush she was just molesting.
>"My school is closed for t-teacher planning today…"
>Teacher planning?
>Lazy assholes.
>"Anon, have you seen a turtle anywhere?"
>You shake your head.
"Sorry, nah."
>Fluttershy looks disheartened and her mane falls over her eyes.
>"Oh… Thanks anyway."
"Was it your kissing buddy or something?"
>Fluttershy blushes, "N-No! I don't do that anymore!"
>She cringes at her own words.
>"I just wanted to um, have a l-look at his foot. He injured it last week and I wanted to… Make sure he was fine."
>Despite being such a little weirdo, Fluttershy could be pretty cute.
"Ah. Sorry. I'll keep an eye out and let you know if I see anything."
>Fluttershy smiles meekly up at you, "Oh thank you, Anon."
>You smirk at her.
"By the way, you ever try turtle soup?"
>The color leaves her face and she whimpers.
"I'm just fucking with you, Shy."
>She flips her mane out of the way, "I kn-knew that! Heh heh…"
"Well, anyway- I should get going back to school."
>Fluttershy perks up and her tail twitches.
>"Ah~ Could I walk with y-you, Anon? If that's okay with you?"
>You think about it.
>After ditching all of that anger, a walk in the spring sun with Fluttershy doesn't seem that bad.
"Sure. Why not. Let's roll."

>>43364063
>During your walk with Fluttershy, you actually listen to what she has to say for once.
>She really knows her shit when it comes to animals.
>That's pretty much all she talks about.
>Being stuck around hormone charged teens so often, it's nice to have an innocent conversation for once.
>And Fluttershy doesn't even try to sniff or touch you the whole walk to school.
>"Oh, Anon!" Fluttershy blurts suddenly.
>A rainbow colored pony goes shooting through the air overhead, making Fluttershy flinch.
>You flip the rainbow cunt off.
"What's up?"
>Fluttershy looks like she's about to burst.
>"This morning, I saw a mare in your house while you were gone!"
>Fucking Cadence.
"Oh yeah? What was she doing?"
>Fluttershy puffs out her cheeks in anger.
>"She was rolling around on your bed and s-sniffing your clothes!"
>You stop walking.
"How do you know what she was doing in my bedroom?"
>"Um, I can fly?"
"Flutters, that doesn't make sense."
>She flies into the air and pantomimes peering through your window.
>"When I came to uh, do my morning ch-checks, I saw her doing those… Lewd things."

>>43364066
>With a sigh, you pat Fluttershy's head.
>She tries to nuzzle into it and you pull away.
"Thanks, Flutterbooboo. But do me a favor?"
>Her eyes grow wide and sparkle at you.
>"Anything."
"Quit creeping around my house."
>She deflates and lands back on the ground.
>"Oh… Okay."
>Again, you feel sort of sorry for her.
>Must be because of that weird voodoo Cadenza did on you.
>You stoop down to her level.
"Hey, tell you what though."
>She looks back up at you with a frown.
"I guess I can let you come over tonight to play some Yahtzee again."
>Fluttershy's wings shoot out and her face cracks into a gigantic grin.
>"R-Really?!"
>You stand up and nod.
"Sure. Just come over after six. Not before, okay? After six. And bring me snacks."
>Fluttershy nods fervently and starts flying away.
>"Okay, Anon! I'll go get ready now! B-Bye!"
>It's only 1…
>You shake your head as Fluttershy manages to somehow 'trip' as she flies.
>Maybe it was all the sexual shit you did today, but for some reason seeing that innocent little filly so excited makes you feel sort of dirty.
>Like something tainted in the presence of a pure angel.
"Fluttershy!"
>You call out and she stops flying to look back at you.
>You cup your hands around your mouth and shout to her.
"Don't ever lose your innocence, okay?"
>Fluttershy dawns a determined look and waves back at you.
>"Okay!"
>What a spaz.
>You walk back onto campus with a grin, feeling like a new man.

>>43364068
>You make it back just in time for your last two classes with Ms. Cheerilee.
>When you enter the room, Cheerilee gives you her normal polite smile.
>You simply nod at her and take your seat.
>As usual, Colgate shows up and sits by you with her trademark giant grin.
>There's a little more pep in her step now however.
>You notice she takes off her saddlebags and there's nothing underneath.
>Must have decided to take off the sexy saddle after the morning excitement.
>Thankfully, the two of you talk about normal stuff instead of going through the phases of newly charged sexual tension.
>Of course, you don't bother bringing up anything about Cadenza.
>Or that you even skipped classes.
>It's funny-
>Until this morning, you never thought about having a relationship with a pony.
>But if there was one pony you could be with, it was Colgate.
>This must be what they mean by 'finding your other half'…
>As Cheerilee starts talking about some gay ass math nerd shit, you lean over and whisper to Colgate.
"Hey, Col- we should totally fuck some time."

>>43364070
>She tenses up in her seat and pushes your head away from her.
>"Shut up! You're gonna get me in trouble again, idiot."
>She totally thinks you're joking.
>Well, you're only half joking.
"Want to come over to my place tonight?"
>Colgate turns away from Cheerilee and raises an eyebrow at you.
>"Serious?"
>This whole time, the stallion in front of you named Golden Geld or some dumb shit has been eavesdropping on your conversation.
"Hey, cuck. Fuck off."
>He avoids eye contact with you and doesn't say anything.
>You turn back to Colgate and smile.
"Yeah. Super serious. I'm having my neighbor Fluttershy over for board games, remember her? But I'll kick her out whenever she gets annoying."
>Colgate nods with a grin, "Sounds good. But please be nice to that sweet filly. I'll just have to tell my dad."
>You lean closer to whisper next to her ear.
"Let him know his little filly is going to come home a mare."
>You blow into her ear, making it spasm.
>Colgate pushes you away again and turns red.
>She hisses back at you, "I can't tell anymore when you're serious and when you're joking…"
>You shrug.
"Same here."

>>43364072
>After the last two classes, you tell Colgate to come over to your place whenever she feels like it.
>You stay back as all the ponies leave quickly, excited for the weekend.
>Cheerilee pretends to be doing busywork at her desk as the classroom clears out, but you know she can tell that you're staring.
>After the last student leaves, you get up from your desk and walk to the front.
>Cheerilee finally looks up at you and smiles.
>She doesn't look as tired anymore, like she freshened up after lunch.
>"How was-"
>She stops mid-sentence and squints at your face.
>"Anon, is that- are you bleeding?
>You touch your jaw where she's looking and feel some encrusted blood near your lips.
>What the hell?
>Fucking Cadence.
>Why didn't any other pony tell you?
>Licking a finger, you wipe it away.
"Don't worry, it's not mine."
>By now, Cheerilee is used to your bullshit enough to not take your bait.
>A shame, really.
>You had a good menstrual joke to follow up with.
>Wait-
>Do these talking ponies even menstruate?

>>43364075
>"How was your break? Seems like you've calmed down a lot."
>You nod and help yourself to one of the apples from the fruit basket on her desk.
"Yeah. I went out and-"
>You take a large bite out of the apple, then speak with your mouth full.
"Had a bite."
>Heh.
>Oh wait, that shit with Cadence actually sucked.
>Cheerilee ignores your apple theft and starts flipping through one of her notebooks.
>"I'm glad. Whatever you did seems to have worked. Now…"
>Finding what she was looking for, she removes a sticky note from her notebook.
>"Please, take this."
>She gives you the yellow paper and you examine it while still noisily eating the apple.
>You don't even really like apples.
>But fuck it was fun messing with Cheerilee.
>Could you imagine being an apple farmer though?
>Gay.
"Wha' dis?"
>It looks like an address is written on the paper.
>Cheerilee closes her notes and folds her front legs on her desk, looking at you very seriously.
>"My home address."

>>43364077
>You stop chewing and meet her eyes.
"Foweel?"
>Cheerilee nods, still looking super serious.
>"For real. I want you to come over this Sunday at 11 AM."
>You gulp down some apple and chuckle.
"A little early for a booty call. I'll have to charge extra."
>Cheerilee remains silent and stares at you.
>With a sigh, you set the half-eaten apple back in the basket on her desk with the other fruits.
"Okay, seriously. Why?"
>Cheerilee purses her lips.
>"Anon, unfortunately the principal found out about your little… Incident with Flitter in the bathroom yesterday."
>It's like your heart skips three beats.
>Sure, it was all in good fun fucking with Cheerilee- but you knew she could take it.
>The principle was a hardass that would actually expel you.
>You glare at Cheerilee.
"Bullshit he 'found out'. You reported me!"
>Cheerilee sighs and shakes her head, "Anon, I promise I didn't report you."
>You turn around and kick one of the desks, sending it flying back into the next one.
>Cheerilee clearly flinches in her seat behind you.
>So much for all of your negative feelings being gone.
>You turn and shout at the teacher pony.
"That's BULLSHIT! You're the only one who knew! You're the only one that could snitch!"
>Cheerilee takes your shouting like a champ and remains calm in her tone.
>"Anon, if you'll sit down, I'll tell you which pony told the principal."
>You take a moment to calm down a bit, then have a seat.
"Isn't that against the rules?"
>Cheerilee scoffs and gives you a dry look, "You and I both know you don't give a buck about rules, Anon."

>>43364079
>You blink.
"Well alright. Where's this Cheerilee been for the last year and a half?"
>She rolls her eyes.
>"Anon, maybe if you didn't automatically assume the worst of me, we wouldn't be here in the first place."
"Oh no, I never assume. Because assuming makes an ass out of u and me."
>Cheerilee is utterly unimpressed by your shit-talking.
"Sorry… I'm just uh, actually nervous. Am I going to be expelled?"
>Cheerilee sighs and leans forward.
>"No. And in case you wanted to know, it was your friend Shining Armor talking about you and Flitter that eventually made its way to the principal."
>What THE fuck?
"He's dead. Fucking dead."
>This wasn't the first time that idiot fucked you over.
>"I'm only telling you this so you can talk to him and get him to control his mouth, before this becomes even worse."
>You rub your temples and groan.
"Yeah… I'll talk to him alright."
>Looking back at Cheerilee, you struggle to voice your next words.
"I… Thanks, Cheerilee. I really appreciate it."
>Her face softens and she gives you a happy smile.
>It's a smile that seems like it belongs in an elementary classroom instead of a highschool.
>"Of course. I told you I care, Anon. I meant it."

>>43364081
>Before she goes all therapist again, you continue on.
"So, the principal found out and I'm not expelled?"
>"Correct," Cheerilee motions toward the paper with her address on it, "thus- my house on Sunday."
>Still not getting it, you decide to forego the usual flippant quip and stare back at Cheerilee.
>A coy grin spreads across her face.
>"I'm impressed. That must have been hard for you to hold back."
"Not as hard as- shit. Sorry... So I'm coming over Sunday, and?"
>Cheerilee clears her throat and mumbles into her hoof.
"What was that? It sounded like you said-"
>"I said it's going to be-"
"Every-"
>"Every-"
"Sunday…"
>"Sunday…"
>Silence fills the classroom.
>Every Sunday?
>"Anon, please understand- this was the only option. Aside from expulsion."
>The expulsion was sounding not too bad now.
>"I made a deal with the principal that instead of kicking you out, I would have you over every Sunday and we would work through your issues."
"Fuck principal Mogul, I don't have any fucking issues."
>Cheerilee shrugs, "A rock and a hard place, Anon. It's only until summer break."

>>43364083
>You lean forward and grab a pear from the fruit basket on her desk, taking a bite and spilling juice all over the floor.
"Wait, so you're fine with giving up part of your weekends because of me?"
>She smiles gently and is dangerously close to giving you that pity look.
>"If it means ensuring you don't get kicked out of school, I feel like it's my responsibility."
>Ugh.
>Sometimes her decency made you want to barf.
>She probably got some sexual thrill from people walking all over her…
"Okay, so I come over when again? And for how long? And what do we do?"
>"Come over at 11 AM. We'll have lunch and talk for an hour or two, depending on how long it takes me to make you turn red again."
>Your eyes snap to Cheerilee.
>A smirk slowly spreads across her face.

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>>43364084
"Cheerilee… Was that a joke?"
>She shrugs, still smirking.
>With a slap to your knee, you laugh and spit some pear across the room.
"Looks like it's my turn to be impressed. Anyway, all I have to do is show up and you'll feed me and lecture me some more?"
>Cheerilee nods, "You'll show up at 11 and we'll have a back and forth conversation over lunch."
>Glancing at your watch, you stand up and shoulder your backpack.
"Well, if that's it- I've got to go play Yahtzee with Colgate and fuck a filly."
>Cheerilee gives you a flat look.
"Sorry, I got that backwards."
>Before you can leave, Cheerilee calls out to you.
>"Oh, Anon? Do you have any suggestions for our lunch?"
>You look down at the pear in your hand.
>With about three bites taken out of it, you toss it back into Cheerilee's fruit basket.
"Anything but fruit. I hate fruit."
>Cheerilee sighs, "Me too. Well, I'll see you on Sunday.

[END OF CHAPTER 2]

https://youtu.be/t4gfkf_0cPA

>>43364086
I’m liking this quite a bit

>>43364019
>You got any more of that bomb tea you had last time?"
kek

>>43364086
Here is what I have of part 3 so far:

Cadenza Grave [Chapter III]

"Every Sunday until summer break, I'll have to go to her house and listen to her preach to me about feelings and shit."
>Shining Armor stops walking beside you and groans.
>"Sunday? That's the day we always go throw apples at that farm!"
>You stop walking and give him a curious look.
>He really liked fucking around at Big Mac's that much?
>Always thought he was just humoring your need to destroy stuff.
"Uh, I guess we could just move that to Fridays? Wanna go now?"
>Shining shrugs, "I guess… Don't blame me if I'm not that into it though."
>The two of you change direction from walking toward the train station and head to Sweet Apple Acres.
"Nah, I'm sure that little sister of Mac's will come out to yell at us again, then you'll get a stiffy and be charged up again in no time."
>Shining Armor fakes like he's going to kick you, "Buck you, Anon! Quit making filly jokes, it's not cool!"
>You hold up your hands and chuckle.
"Alright, alright. Don't get your panties in a bunch."
>He starts walking again and lets out a very horse-like lip-slapping sigh.
>"I told you that Cheerilee was gonna buck you over if you kept messing with her, bro."
>You almost snap your neck to turn and glare at him.
"This is YOUR fucking fault, BRO!"
>"Wha-? I didn't do anything!"
"Cheerilee said the principal found out because you were running your stupid mouth, as usual!"
>Shining Armor looks down in thought and his ears droop.
>"Crap… It was… It was a good story though! It was like… Super tight, bro."

>>43364161
>Adjusting your backpack, you take out a cigarette and light it.
"Whatever. It's done. Just don't tell anyone else, or I might get expelled. And then I'll have to beat the shit out of you."
>For a few minutes the two of you walk in silence.
>Thoughts of your stressful day run through your head.
>The crazy morning with Colgate.
>The oddly comfortable walk with Fluttershy.
>Almost smashing in Cheerilee's face in her classroom…
>Cadence-
"Hey, dude- I forgot to tell you that Cadence wants you to go over to her place when you get home."
>Shining stops in his tracks and his jaw drops.
>"Wh-What? She does? Why?"
"I dunno. Probably wants to do some weird perverted psycho bitch shit with you."
>Your friend's eyes almost pop out of his head.
>"You think so?"
>Rolling your eyes, you shrug and try to ignore the pity you feel when you look at his innocent face.
>He has no idea how shady that pink alicorn is.
"Nah, she probably just wants to get a bit closer before you two go to the party tomorrow."
>He looks down at the ground, gears clanking around in his head.
>"You think she'll like, kiss me an' stuff?"
>It slipped your mind that this goofy chad stallion is still a virgin.
"She'll probably do more than that…"
>Shining Armor grins at the ground.
>"Tight… So tight…"
"Come on, lover boy- we better go get this apple chuckin' in so you can go bust that premature nut."

>>43364165
>"So if you get one out before-"
>Shining pauses his speech to throw an apple as hard as he can with a deep grunt.
>The fruit streaks toward a tree and explodes in a cloud of red and white.
"Nice one."
>Shining smirks and flicks his tail, "Thanks. So- you get out a nut and then the next one takes longer?"
>You scan the grass around you in search of the best apple to chuck.
>Can't be too fresh, nor too rotten.
"Yeah man. Like I said, never go out with one in the chamber. Your shit is gonna be too sensitive and when you bust after one thrust-"
>There it is.
>You pick up your apple of choice and inspect it.
"Cadence is gonna think you're a one pump chump."
>Closing one eye, you take aim at a distant tree and bring your arm holding the apple back.
>"Bro, I dunno… Going fast seems pretty nice. I mean, my head always feels more clear after a… A nut."
>You sling the apple as hard as you can and watch it explode against your target.
>With a smirk you look down at your friend.
"What, you in a rush to get to the cuddling or something? You some kinda fag, boy?"
>Shining Armor's face flushes and he looks down at the ground.
>"N-NO! It's just… Well, I've never been with a mare and I don't wanna, you know- do something stupid?"
>Jesus Christ.

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>>43364169
"Jesus Christ, Shining…"
>His face turns even more red and he starts rooting around in the grass for another apple.
>"Anon! You know what I mean! I'm not… Not cool and level headed like you."
>You put your hands on your hips and flare your nostrils.
"Thass right."
>Shining picks up an apple and eyes it.
>"I just don't want to mess this up. I want it to be perfect."
>Your eyes scan your friend as he frowns at the fruit in his hoof.
>Sometimes his innocence pisses you off.
>This fucking jock blessed with looks and physical ability-
>And he absolutely sucks at using it to his advantage.
>You sigh and place a hand on your friend's whither.
"Listen, man."
>He looks up at you, his dopey eyes filled with stupid naivety.
"You'll be just fine. Trust me. Just believe in the magic of friendship, or whatever the hell you ponies always say."
>He grins and nods at you.
>"Ha! Thanks, Anon. At least I can always count on your dry humor when I'm down."
>You chuckle and push him back.
"Shut up, fag. Throw a damn apple."
>A high-pitched voice calls out from the bushes to your right.
>"KISS 'IM!"

>>43364173
>Looking over, you see an orange pony peering at you with her body mostly concealed in a bush.
>Big Mac's sister.
>She's named after a breakfast cereal or something.
>Shining Armor drops his apple and curses, "Buck- Anon, let's go!"
>You raise your chin and glare at the little hick filly.
"You got somethin' to say?"
>Funny, this little redneck usually scrambles out to screech about you destroying her precious appuls.
>But now she seems more interested in just watching like a creep from the bushes.
>"Ya'll boys gonna kiss, or wat?"
>She seems a bit too excited about the thought.
>You turn around and drop your pants, exposing your ass to her.
"I got something you can kiss right here, apple horse."
>Shining Armor groans beside you and you can see Applesmack's eyes practically pop out of her head.

---

That's all I have right now. Sorry.

>>43364174
>Ya'll boys gonna kiss, or wat?
lol, that's pretty funny

>>43363962 (not gonna scroll to your last posts before I finish reading lol)
FYI /mlp/ now has extended charlimit for posts (3000 symbols)

>>43364173
Big green dump. Bumping cause I want to read it.

>>43364174
Good stuff, it’s been great to have you visit.

>>43364174
Hey Slasher, it's Raritan. Good to see you back buddy. Keep up the good work.

No trips because I forgot mine but who the hell would want to impersonate me.

>>43364174
Cadance is into some really freaky shit.

>>43365440
I feel like that comes with the territory

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>>43360828
>"Guess I'll be the bad guy, so get mad at me"
>"I'm only sayin' what everypony thinks..."
>"You ain't no Maredonna, no, you ain't no pop queen"
>"You're just a pre-Madonna suckin' off the paparazzi"
>"Gotta shake that flank 'cause we know you can't sing."
>"You think that you're the real deal, you're nothin' but a striptease."
>"I can only listen to you in a magazine
You're the reason there ain't music on PTV"
>"Got a stack of ones, but it ain't for your CD"
>"I'm only sayin' what everypony thinks."
>"You ain't no Maredonna, no, you ain't no pop queen"
>"You're just a pre-Madonna suckin' off the paparazzi:
Gotta shake that flank 'cause we know you can't sing."
>"You think that you're the real deal, you're nothin' but a striptease"
>"So take it off nice and slow"
>"Or take it off my radio"

>>43365849
i'd let metalhead Twilight do anything she wants to me

>>43365849
Singing burns and roasts to all potential mares.

>>43365849
Good stuff anon

>>43361029
She'll go for the balls next.

desu archive is being scraped by bots to train AI.

Hello everyone! It's Tuesday and time for another update of How to be Dense!
(How to be Dense is an EQG harem comedy.)
Been having a little fun with Anonymous unable to understand he's popular now.
He's glad folks seem to like him of course.
But in his mind, he's just doing the job that fate requires of him.
Because the teleporter is coming for him at some point whether he's ready or not!
This time the teleporter is finally dealt with!
And we find out which school backed them!
Our crusading cheerleaders get their own song!
AND their own fight scene!
(Mostly)
And we see part of Anon's answer for how to deal with a school that's been powering up ALL of their girls for years.

NEXT WEEK!
Shopping!(?!)
Next week's entry will also finish the main story.
So if you want or need to catch up try
https://ponepaste.org/11423
I also have one epilogue coming.

>>43366813
Some brutal deaths. Like dang man.

>>43367257
>TroonTheBat

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>"Fun fact: I actually prefer gentle, consensual sex."
>"But... since you refuse to consent..."

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reposting a one shit I wrote in a prompt thread

>>43354098
>"No."
What do you mean No?
>"I mean that's not enough. You've got me---Rainbow 'Danger' Dash---ready to do anything you say, no questions asked, and you want to just let me off that easy?"
>You think about this.
Well, I figured I'd make you get me the big milkshake. You know, the one Pinkie stuffs entire slices of cake into before serving.
>"That's so lame!"
Whatever. You're acting like I'm the one that lost.
>"Look, let's tell the truth here, okay? You got lucky."
You didn't score a single point.
>"Yeah, yeah, you got really lucky. Don't rub it in."
>You hear her grumble under her breath "And it wouldn't have happened again anyway!"
>She snorts and whips her tail after saying this.
I can choose whatever prize I want.
>"And I'm just saying that you should make me do something extreme, something that you wouldn't ask any pony that's not as awesome as me to do."
Like what?
>"Like..." Dash weighs her words carefully before speaking again: a rare sight.
>She can't even look you in the eye when she says:
>"Like, maybe you could make me..."
>She pauses, then suddenly mumble-blurts out the rest:
>"w.ar a d.es."
What?
>"Make me wear a dress?"
>When she chances a look at you again, she groans, seeing the smirk on your face.
>"Or, you know, just something that's embarrassing like that."
Dash, wearing a dress isn't exactly considered extreme.
>"It is for me!" She's blushing now, dipping her head down to try and hide it.
How about you just buy me two milkshakes at Sugarcube Corner?
>"What's with you? I already told you that’s lame. I don't want to buy you any bucking milkshake! Okay?!"
But the other one could be for you. I mean, if you feel like joining me, that is...
>You shoot your shot, hoping to turn this dare into a date.
>She's growling though.
>"Anon, would you stop talking about bucking milkshakes?"
>It might take her a moment before she gets the hint.
>"Why would I want to buy you and me..."
>She blinks, pauses. Upon realization, her ears fold back against her scalp.
>"Milkshakes?"
>Pinkie Pie suddenly leaps out from behind a random arcade cabinet that’s nearby, startling you both.
>"Rainbow Dash, did you just lose at Pong?"
>Ahh!... Pinkie Pie! Don’t sneak up on me like that!”
>”I didn’t mean to. I was just trying to get a bit that I dropped behind Bubble Bobble.”
>Backing up her story of crawling around on the arcade floor is Pinkie’s messy mane, which is full of wrinkled candy wrappers and dust bunnies.
>”So, what, you’re, like, crawling around behind all the games?” Dash says.
>”Yeah, but it’s hard to move back there. I keep getting tangled up in all the cords.”
>She takes a step towards you both, halts, kicks off a black cord that’s still wrapped around one of her back hooves like a vine.
>Her jostling unplugs Dig Dug during a crucial part of the game. Button Mash cries in agony nearby.

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>>43367961
>”So, Rainbow Dash,” Pinkie says, oblivious to any suffering she might’ve just caused, “did you really lose at Pong?”
>”Uh, yeah…”
>Dash forces herself to cough before turning her red cheeks to meet Pinkie.
>"Turns out Anon here is, like, super good at it."
>You shrug.
Not really.
>"Yes, really," she insists through grit teeth. “Besides, it was a close game anyway."
>Pinkie looks past her and sees the game over screen behind you. Dash didn't even score a single point.
>"But you can't lose. You're, like, the best ever at Pong!" Pinkie says. "You've always had the high score."
>Also on the screen behind you, at the top of the high score list, are the initials RDD.
>"I guess Anon is just better," she says, grumbling a bit. "It's an egghead game anyway."
>"Wow!" Pinkie looks at you. "Wanna play a game with me, Nonny?"
Sure.
>"Actually, Anon and I were just going to get milkshakes," Rainbow says.
Yeah, yeah. You go ahead and order for us, Dash. I'll meet you there in a jiffy.
>"But, Anon, I..."
And wear something nice for the occasion. Maybe a dress.
>Pinkie starts giggling. "Dashie doesn't wear dresses, Nonny."
You'd be surprised. She lost a bet.
>"What?! You mean she lost at two things?!"
Yeah. Both on the same day too.
>"That's not like her!"
>As you both square up to the game cabinet, Pinkie whirls around behind her to inspect Rainbow.
>She presses the back of her hoof against Dash's sweaty forehead.
>"Are you sure you're feeling like yourself? You're making my hoof all clammy."
>"Ugh!" Dash bats her arm away. "Look, you two can play one quick game, okay? But you better not leave me hanging, Anon."
>After assuring her that you’ll give her what she wants later, Dash leaves you and Pinkie alone.
>Pinkie turns to you moments before the game starts and begins raising her eyebrows suggestively.
>"And just to make it interesting: winner rapes the loser?"
Nah, I'm not in the mood.
>"Aww!” She’s pouting as she turns back towards the screen. “Okay…"
>She still plays like Rainbow Dash anyway, not scoring a single point.