And Shining Armor emerges from it. He tells you that you are actually none other than Princess Cadance, transformed by Sombra into a pathetic human incel, stripped of your memories, and banished to this dull dimension. Your entire life here is a fake and a simulacrum. He begs you to return to Equestria with him. Your original memories can no longer be recovered, but at least your original appearance will return. Your soul is still the soul of Cadance, and perhaps Shining's love will help you quickly adapt and embrace your true life.Will you?
>>43422660TF trannies are getting quite uppity.
>>43422660Why do you want to be candyass so bad, Anon?
>>43422666Damn I didn't have "agreeing with Satan" on my bingo list but here I am.
>>43422666>>43422672Yeah HiEtrannies are dilating at anons posting ponies and not >nohooves
>>43422679Eww I stepped in it's crotch-rot puddle...
>>43422660>rape
>>43422660why there are threads of me becoming cadance no fuck you I don't wanna become cadance stop this weird ass fetish
>>43422679>HIE CHADS>I like my body and what nature made me, and I wish to stay like this>TF TROONS>What if I was a mare all along and got fucked by stallions! Better create 8 threads for my fetish!Only one of them is troonesque, and it's the second one.
>>43422697But I don't wanna be a mare!
I'll take the bullet and be the rare non-TFfag to engage with the premise.If I really am Cadance then their world needs me, there's nothing I can do about that. Out of a sense of obligation I'd cross over and I'd do my best to play my role as princess, but I'd have to be very upfront with Shining Armor that I'm never going to see him the way he sees me and that he'll need to treat me like a new pony. I'm sure that would be crushing for him, I'd imagine he'd be holding out hope that things would somehow return to normal, but I don't have it in me to fake that. I like being myself and knowing my memories are false wouldn't change that, I don't think, so I doubt I'd ever truly embrace the fact that I'm Cadance. My life over there would probably not be a particularly joyous one but I love Equestria too much to ignore the call and continue with my current life.
>>43422679>Can't argue the original point and reveals himself as a Shartyfag or a Sharty imitatorI accept your concession.
>>43422737Yeah we know you're shartyfag seething when ponies get posted.
>>43422660Instead of my miserable wizard life:>like in a fucking Equestria>as a literal royalty >one of the most beautiful and sexiest mares>with a handsome loving husband>who breeds you violently every day>give birth to multiple adorable foals loke Flurry and Skyla>live a happy lifeI'm all yours, Shining. Take me. Now...
>>43422660I don't want to be Candyass, I want be my own mare ponysona!
>>43422764No, Cadance. You can't be anyone but yourself.
You guys ever notice that the two "groups" engaging in the totally genuine tf vs aie turf war always seem to find each other within minutes? Isn't that strange?
>>43422812Isn't that just because we are using the same board?
>>43422660Fine, but Equestria's getting the HI ANON Cadance.
>>43422812How do you know these are two grouos?It could be a single anon arguing with himself. Would not be the first time.
>>43422915I put quotes around groups for a reason.
>>43422660Troon, you already have an identical thread here >>43369615Cadance is a slut, by the way.
>>43422660>Your original memories can no longer be recovered, but at least your original appearance will return.Pointless. Ego death is basically the same as death. Sorry Shiny, guess your wife is officially gone.
>>43423012>Ego death is basically the same as death.Embarrassing post.
>>43423017I'm sure a tranny wouldn't agree, but I'm actually sane unlike you lot.
>>43423012Yeah, that part seems like it would just make everyone involved miserable. Even if you're someone who has Shining Armor as your husbando you're going to be vaguely imitating Cadance and he's going to know it, the relationship's going to fall apart at some point because you aren't Cadance in any of the ways that matter.
>>43422660>*place my hand on shining armor*>You got to forgive yourself... The accident wasn't your fault.
>>43423029kek
>>43422660Obviously. Why'd anyone want to be a disgusting human in a miserable, rotting world, when they could be a beautiful mare in a paradise?While I'd prefer to be my actual mareself I'd still settle for Cadance if that was the best I could get.
>>43422660I rape him before he even spoke a word.
>>43422660If I accept, can I dump Shining Armor and go off on my own?
>>4342266041% already tranny, you will never be a female
>>43422660I tell Shining if he wants me to go back, he has to prove he can still love me. We will need to spend a romantic evening together getting to know each other again while doing lovey-dovey things like a candlelit dinner, cuddling on the couch, holding hands/hooves. Afterward, he will need to have sex with me. Nothing kinky, just pure, passionate love making. If after all that, he can still look me in my human male eyes and say "I love you" and mean it from the bottom of his heart, I'll go back with him.
>>43422660I guess bro...
>>43422719Only good response to this thread, i would honestly do the same (plus searching for a way to turn myself into a stallion while retaining the powers necessary to protect the crystal i dont think i could really enjoy equestria as much as i wanted to while stuck in a mare's body.)
>>43422660I would simply shoot myself in front of him
I'd be a horrible wife
>>43423972I think you'd be a great wife, you probably also like corn dogs.
and get cucked by twilight every day? no thanks
>>43422660/ptfg/ is down the hall and to the left
>>43422719>>43423012>>43423256>>43423622Um... Considering that you have: Cadance's soul, Cadance's cutie mark, and Cadance's physiology - I'm afraid it'll be inevitable for you to realize at some point that you like stallions (perhaps, with your very first estrus), and Shining Armor is the cutest, most charming, and most reliable option possible.At least, that's exactly what happened in that fanfic about Royal Duties. And there, despite all initial resistance, the protagonist ended up becoming an even more lustful and loving little wifey than the original Cadance.
>>43424242>>43424191
>>43424452
>>43424452UNF
Would also become besties with Fleur, so that she could teach and train me how to be a proper mare, occasionally engaging in scissors and swing parties with her.
>>43424637Give a kiss to Fleur, haha.
>>43424242>Cadance's soulNo reason to think that affects your behavior given I'm very un-Cadance-like in this simulacrum.>Cadance's cutie markI've only watched through the end of season 5 but I don't think it's ever implied that personalities are affected by cutie marks, if anything MMC shows that having a cutie mark that doesn't fit your personality is disastrous.>Cadance's physiologyThis will have an effect, of course, but given I strongly identify as a human male those physiological reactions will probably make me feel like shit more than anything. That kind of disconnect between your body and mind is really bad for a person.>that's exactly what happened in that fanfic about Royal Duties. And there, despite all initial resistance, the protagonist ended up becoming an even more lustful and loving little wifey than the original Cadance.It's worth keeping in mind that a fanfic written by someone who wanted to fantasize about this very scenario probably isn't going to accurately describe what would happen in reality. That's not to say it's impossible but it'd probably take a very specific kind of person to get that particular result.
>>43424452GIWTWM
>>43424452No thsnk you.
I'm a Twifag and more importantly the least Cadance-like individual in existence. I would press a button to annihilate all sex and love if it were infront of me. Though then again if I was in the universe where Shining Armour rips out of a portal and tells me such a retarded thing I'd have to accept that I live in the Fetish Multiverse at that point and if I resist the integration things are gonna get way worse for me. So, hm.
>>43425518>>43425720It's from here: https://www.fimfiction.net/story/109700/royal-duties
>>43425780Become Cadance for the power level and destroy Fetishquestria.
>>43426063thanks
>>43422660It could be salvation. That intrinsic hatred you held for normies your entire life. Its because you're not really human. And all your weird autistic traits are just normal pony traits. You step into Equestria and find its truly is paradise, all thing things about life that drive you to rage are not present.But anyway, we are definitely keeping this portal open. And coming back later to fix this place. I have some strong opinions, and they will implemented by force using magic.
>>43424242> like stallionsThis would not even be a problem. stallions are not human so the ingrained revulsion that you have for human males would not apply.
>>43422660I'd run away to somewhere with a lot of people are so i would be safe
>>43422660I turn him down without a moment's hesitation, then laugh at his pain and despair with an honest-to-God song in my heart.
>>43427527But he has magic, Anon. He'll stop you in your path.
>>43426706>That intrinsic hatred you held for normies your entire life. Its because you're not really human.Ah but you see, I love people of all sorts so I must not be a pony. Thank you for reassuring me.
>>43422660I'd ask if somehow I have two souls, one mine and one somehow cadence's.
>>43424637Making out with Fleur while being bred by Shining and she been bred by Fancy Pants. The boys could even discuss some important things in the process while using us as their little slut-wifes.
>>43428558You are Princess Cadance it should be you discussing important things! What you think just because you're a pink pony princess now you don't have any responsibilities?!
>>43422666based Satan decapitating this shit in the first post
>>43428572Sorry, pal. Too busy making foals with Shiny.
>>43422660prove it, let's have sex right now and frot our cocks together.
>>43428686>all these fags want Cadance's body and her husband but don't want to do her jobLazy ass. You're all basically Chrysalis, and even Chrysalis at least knows how to govern her hive.
>>43428686Unff
>>43428686Pretty hot.
>>43428714>people with a fetish only care about the fetishistic partWho could've seen that coming?
>>43422660Sex.
>>43422660how can he make a portal to our world I thought we didn't have magic here
>>43422660>be alone in this shity place, awaiting the technocratic dystopia, fapping when horny, but have penis>go to equestria, be beautiful royalty, doted on by staff in lavish castle, be able to fly and do magic, be surrounded by color and happiness, have horse vagina, get laid by big stallion ppThis isn't even a choice and I'm not even a tffag.
>>43423497Shining isn't gay you megafaggot
>>43423972Plot twist. It's his fetish.
>>43425307>n't think it's ever implied that personalities are affected by cutie marks,Devil's advocate. The evil of this world has tainted your personality and when you get to a better place like equestria your true self well eventually shine through.
>>43431303The evils of this world only made me retreat from society and realize the far majority of humans deserve nothing but infinite pain, but that would completely disappear in Equestria because ponies are ALL intrinsically good compared to the majority of humans that are intrinsically bad. I have no reason to hate in Equestria because the source of my hatred would be gone.
>>43431160Ponies generate magic for their own yse in such situations.
>>43431303It's possible that Equestria does have one's personality written into their soul, but that's not my understanding of how personalities work here on Earth so I'm gonna assume that my personality wouldn't completely shift to something different.>>43431426Humans are good actually.
>>43431788But jews aren't good so that's a bit contradicting.
>>43422660>Damn that sucksThen I'd crack a couple cold ones with him, then I'd try to get him into my favourite animes to corrupt him into a weeb.
>>43432032jews are griffons
>>43432611Obviously.
>>43422660I'm quite confused, so are we actually cadence or?
>>43431160The portal is open from their side. Probably pretty expensive to keep open though, since its open to what is essentially a magical vacuum.
>>43422660I’d think it’d be weird for a straight male to be crushing on another straight male.
>>43433644well yeah
>>43433166Yes.
>>43422660I'd sleep with Shiny, seems comfy to give him a hug.
>>43434904same
>>43422660He must let me fuck him as a man to prove his love is real, no chickening out, he MUST bottom and endure it all while I'll call him a gay homosexual, faggy fag.
>>43422660Can I rush past him to the portal or does it affect me in any way?
>>43436010I'm pretty sure the implication is that the moment you enter Equestria you'll be Cadance.
>>43422660I don't understand what's wrong with the fandom anymore. Why do so many anons dream of becoming mares? Is something wrong with me? Maybe I should want this too?And yes, to answer the OP's degenerate question - yes, I would agree, you'd have to be out of your mind to turn something like that down. But I can't imagine what could possibly make me mate with a stallion. I would divorce Shining immediately.
>>43436187>Why do so many anons dream of becoming mares?They're faggots.>Is something wrong with me? Maybe I should want this too?Only if you're a faggot. Which, given the fact that you're actually questioning this, yes you may in fact be.
>>43436190>wahhhhh I'm not comfortable in my sexuality to explore beyond the boundaries of Christian moralism
>>43436738What?
>>43437019Don't mind him.
>>43437810ok
>>43422660>simulacrumI dunno, this place seems real to me.
>>43438888checked
>>43439684Shining rapes you, nonny.
>>43440117Shining Armor wouldn't rape his wife. Character assassination is not okay.
>>43440126It is though
>>43440126>Character assassination is not okay.Wrong.
>>43441260but its just not right
>>43442289Cute.
>>43422660close my eyes and then wake up to see him gone... hopefully.
CADENCE!
>>43444648Shining got into the fentynalagain
>>43444667Shiny's always on the cocaine.
>>43444667>fentynalagainWut
>>43445926literally me
>>43446467Whoms't?
>>43447080shiny
>>43447814Family.
>>43448977Giwtwm
>>43422660I summon a magick cock and rape Shining Armor into 100% submissive bottom bitch househusband slaveThen I will RAPE or some shit I dunno
>>43450759you can't rape the willing
>>43422660Kiss the pone
>>43453001
>>43453099lol
>>43454757love em both.
>>43422660>go to Equestria>figure out a spell to become a dude again>Prince of Love>divorce Shining immediately>let him do whatever>rule the Crystal Empire>enjoy Equestriaseems like a good deal
>>43428572I hope Cadance-PTF troons get their wish and then wake up in RGRE
>>43455929unf
Read cult classic again. I absolutely adore the prose and pipeline transformation from fragile humie male to cum-drinking mareslut. It always makes me dream about becoming loving mare wife for my stallion husband
>>43458470I envy you.
>>43458470I kissed you.
>>43458470I can be your stallion husband.
>>43461001>>43460774I am genuinely flattered
>>43461021Now gag on my 30 inch horse cock.
>>43461129*smooch*
>>43461129UNFF
>>43422660I'll agree to get a quick divorce from him.I'm a fucking princess of love!Getting married is like putting yourself on a chain. To fuck with only one person and be limited by some obligations. Heck no! Definitely not my choice. And not as the choice of somepony who spreads love throughout Equestria.I'm also not gay.I'm sorry, Shiny...Even though I don't have a dick anymore, I can teach the mares something new and bring a different kind of love into this world.Lesbians are good too, after all.Celestia might not like it, but I don't care.I will tell... Or maybe I'll even show her why it might be cool.
>>43462156
>>43462952i can't believe they petrified cadence :(
>>43464665one happy family of ponies.
>>43466236funny faces
>>43462952I guess she fucked to close to sun.
When is this gay thread going to die? This is a terrible Cadance thread.
>>43466754it was the best cadence thread silly
>>43466945Maybe if you're a faggot.
>>43466945best cadence thread of all time.
>>43469153unf
>>43469925Is the Crystal Palace really that bad?
>>43470577yes
>>43422660Ok, but I'm dressing solely in goth fashion and he will be pegged.
>>43472765cute
>>43422660That's certainly something so why not.
>>43476826me on the right
>>43478377Chicken
>>43477573me on the left
>>43479964me as the baby
>>43484985giwtwm
>>43487543long necc
>>43422660R63 equestria only.
>>43491694AMERICAAA
>>43422660beat up shining armor
I would go because I love stallions in a gay way, but would Shining Armor even still want me being so different from the mare he married.....
>>43494164He'd probably be more upset about you sleeping with every stallion in the kingdom
>>43494821Big Mac is sexy and I don't remember marrying anypony
>>43495195Sugar Belle?
>>43496140i dont remember seeing her in season 1 or 2
>>43497206She's a later season mare.
>>43496140I still can't believe they made the scene with Marble seeing Mac with Sugar Belle. What was the show writers even thinking?!
>>43498883nothing
>>43498883They're leftoids, so most likely they have cuckoldry as a fetish.
>>43498883It's for when Sugar Belle hears a noise in the bedroom and see Marble with Mac.
>>43500650hot
>>43501504Cursed
>>43502596giwtwm
>>43503252Me hugging my wife.
>>43504677cute.
>>43504421Baby foals
>>43506213Actually they're just chibi.
>>43506429same thing
>>43507721me smooching on the right
>>43509004Anime faces lul.
>>43507307cute
>>43422660Get me into Equestria asap!!!
>>43511352*kiss*
>>43510452Cute art style.
>>43422660yes.
>>43513838nice
>>43510939Great ponies, love em' both.
>>43515752moments after foal making sex.
>>43422660What an twist!
>>43515415giwtwm...
>>43456328>still a marek
>>43517711mmm toast
>>43518628PIZZAAHHH
>>43518628>>43518894You guys are both going to jail for a very long time.
>>43518898mama mia pizza isn't illegal
>>43519290It is in Equestria.
>>43519606Have a Peetzer.
>>43520071pepperoni is too generic
>>43520071i could go for a pizza right now
>>43422660'Aight, not the ideal entry ticket to Equestria but becoming an immortal alicorn princess is a good consolation prize. Flurry is already born so any duty there is already checked off, not to mention the risk of birthing extra alicorn is best avoided. Alicorn magic should be sufficient for gender swapping spells, or at least giving me a magic dick, so married life with Shining can be made amenable. Even if he isn't flexible on monogamy, I know that blue maned bitch is flexible on taking it up the back end. That still leaves an eternity and an empire to play with, while its status as defacto puppet state of equestria makes the administration simple enough.Too many slack jawed faggots in this thread too squicked out my op's obvious fetish to make the best of a solid deal.
>>43522378>blue maned bitchLuna?
>>43523273unf
>>43523273Cadence wouldn't do this to colt Shining Armor.
>>43422660>You aren't Cadence >You aren't going to be transformed into a pony>Shiney just has the hots for green ape men and this is his pickup line
>>43523273Cadence absolutely would do this and far more to colt Shining Armor.
>>43523273Cadence may or may not do sexual activies with colt shining armor.
>>43523273giwtwm
>>43520728who is that filly
>>43462156> I'm also not gay.Only human male + human male is gay.human male + stallion is not gay.And its doubly no gay in this scenario are you were never really a male in the first place.
What a terrible Cadance thread. I'm so tired of fags and trannies...
>>43525876would
>>43525764That's all the fandom is nowadays sadly
>>43525754Anything involving human males is gay because you the reader are gay
>>43466236Heh.
>>43527624Love is in the air haha
>>43528333 (checked)>love is in my hairShining I told you to cum inside
>>43528337>Shining I told you to cum insideWRONG HOLE, SHINY!
>>43529491UNFFFF
>>43529491kek at chrssy in the chair
>>43529491A force from above healing my foal
>>43529491Lol.
>>43527624cute
>>43532002Creepy Cadence.
>>43532002she is watching shiny 24/7
>>43531749yep
>>43529491Given that Chrysalis gets energy from love, she's getting more out of this than an actual irl cuck does.
>>43529491i thought chrysalis was getting a vagina boner here
>>43535766>vagina bonerA what now?
>>43536195have you never seen a horse pussy erection before?
>>43536568no
>>43537298For shame nonny, we are a horsefucker board!
>>43536769happy family
>>43539154pizza with no cheese
>>43539154Based Twilight!
>>43539154SHE IS NOT EATING PEETZER RIGHT. PINEAPPLE FOR TWI.
>>43540786oh god anything but pineapple pizza, only changelings do that
>>43422660>Will you?Become effectively immortal, get magic powers, and get a bunch of dumbfuck sparkly horses to order around?Yes, no hesitation.Take care of the condor fetus?Sure, but she better be ready for a wet nurse.Fuck Shining?Yeah no. He is getting bro-zoned unless I can turn him into Gleaming Shield.
>>43422812It's weird. As if there was some thing that allowed anyone to very rapidly know about new threads and what they are about.Some sort of ... catalog thing.
>>43541315Usecase for catalog thing?
>>43541200
>>43542565NOOOOOO
>>43542565yummers
>>43542565Pineapple on Pizza is actually good, guys.
>>43544338>t. Queen Chrysalis
>>43545669LONG NECC
>>43545669Giraffe Cadence
>>43547598cute
>>43549739celestia is behind 0_0
>>43550185Ready to rape.
>>43551248Horn touching...
>>43551248i want to touch a mare's horn with my horn
>>43553015unf
>shining mounts you in public to power the love-based defense spellsunf
>>43553514H-hot...
>>43554428LONG MARE MANE!!!
>>43555021me on the left
>>43554428cuuuute
>>43556644Sex?!
>>43559188Smug ass pones.
>>43422737The sharty hasn't been relevant for years
>>43560723smoochy smoochers
>>43422757This, but also orgies with the crystal guards.
>>43561911me n the wife.
>>43563344grump pones
>>43563344Mad at me lol.
>>43565150Wife big
>>43565150>>43566651idgi this meme
>>43567548One of them is a pretty pink pony princess and so gets a lot of relatively fancy toysThe other is not
so why do you keep talking to yourself for months? kek
>>43567569ah thanks anon now I know
>>43566651One small pony...
>>43569242tiny ass cadence
>>43570259CRAZY ALICORN FILLY!!!
>>43575780https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QdNJIO6wmLwthe baby
>>43578600>Metroid Other MAnything, ANYTHING but that game...
>>43579945da foal
>>43584370always keeping shiny under her control i see
>>43588553Front facing is always so cursed
>>43588553So smug.
>>43595588must feel great touching horns.
>>43599316GIWTWM
>>43599316Sex 24/7? Unf...
>>43599316hot
>>43422660>He begs you to return to Equestria with him. Your original memories can no longer be recovered, but at least your original appearance will return. Your soul is still the soul of Cadance, and perhaps Shining's love will help you quickly adapt and embrace your true life.Fine, my human life sucked anyway. But there will be no embracing of any kind, or little Flurry is going to grow up without a father. I want a divorce, by the way, and put out a royal summon for hot young lesbian mares.
>>43609040Family.
>>43422660k whatevz
>>43613887giwtwm
>>43534354cute pony family
>>43620237Aww :)
>>43422660Well I guess I'll accept my new life.
>>43424452UNFFFFFF
>>43422660might as well wipe my mind fully clear like how those glowies do it.
>>43630465lovely
>>43630465Me 'n the wife.
>>43636162cute!!!
>>43636162aww :D
>>43639992UNF
>>43639992Comfy.
>>43645278Having some italian "food" with the waifu
>>43646901Sex!
>>43646901giwtwm
>>43645278Yummers.
start up a family with shining armor
>>43651298Cute!
>>43570259You think Shining has ever noticed his wife and sister have very similar eyes?
>>43652901Perhaps.
>>43652901are they related like incest
>>43422660In time I would inform everypony that in my banishment I encountered a greater threat than Sombra and Equestria needs to be the 110th country before it is too late.
>>4365497180% of the maternal ancestors in their family line are Princess Celestia
>>43422660>He tells you that you are actually none other than Princess Cadance, transformed by Sombra into a pathetic human incelI hit him with both barrels before he can finish the 'gaslighting' part of his weird fetish RP and go back to bed.I ain't falling for this shit again Shiny.
>>43656943>80% of the maternal ancestors in their family line are Princess CelestiaHot.
>>43656956>NOW SHINING, THE PORTAL'S OPEN, GO TO HER BEFORE IT CLOSES!>...>You have to come back with me my love, we'll get this all sorted ou->*BANG*>Spike close the portal.>But isn't Shining still i->SPIKE CLOSE THE FUCKING PORTAL!
>>43656943>80% of the maternal ancestors in their family line are Princess CelestiaUnf...
>>43656956>*grabs you with his unicorn magic and throws away the double barrel*wtf impossible hax plz nerf nao
>>43658346>anon couldn't possible have more than one shotgunFOOL
>>43658386I mean it'd would be in your gun cabinet, no? By the time you'd shuffle your way to it he'd be grabbing you with his magic taking you through the portal.
>>43659037See Anon, your equation is sound but fails to factor in one thing.I am both over 30 and have never had sex, which has unlocked untold magical powers via my ascent into wizardhood.The per meter saturation of shotguns in my home can at any moment be high enough to generate a pump operated singularity.
>>43659051So you can make a gun out of nowhere anytime? Cool.
>>43659691i need that magic power asap... for a friend of course haha
>>43422660Can I tell Shining Armor to leave me alone so I can furiously masturbate in my masturbation corner?
>>43661740Yes, but he wants to watch.
>>43661771S-sure...
>>43661771Is he curious to see how anon cranks his hog?
>>43663477yes
>>43664036That's gay.
>>43663477Hog???
>>43666049yes anon has a nice hog he feeds daily in his farm
>>43667248How wholesome.
>>43667248You can't feed your cock...
>>43422660fuck it, thread's less than a hundred from limit, may as well throw something together>This must be a dream, right?>Or some hallucination?>The heat coming off the portal feels weird enough>Touching it actually causes a small arc of something like electricity to hiss at you"Fuck-!" You curse out, shaking the hand>"Are you alright?" The pony asks, reaching towards youYou smack the hoof away in disgust "Ugh- don't touch me">He looks like you just stabbed him instead of pushing his hoof away as you shoot a glare at him>Seriously, you don't know what kind of prank this is, but you're already over it>If ignoring it hasn't worked, maybe booze will help>Without another word to the alien, unicorn, thing you go over to the fridge>Within waits an ice cold bottle of cider>You could go over to the drawer to get the bottle opener>But why bother when you have a counter top>Slotting the edge of the lid down, you slam a hand down and the metal cracks off with ease>Some call it the poor man's bottle opener>You call it convenience>The sharp crack of meal made the pony flinch back as he watches you simply chug the alcohol>He's not even getting fuzzy>But at least he's starting to look uncertain>Good, maybe he'll leave you alone>Again, he takes steps towards you, stopping as you shuffle away>"Cadance... please...""For fuck's sake, dude, how many times do I have to tell you? My name's certainly not Cadance, and I’m certainly not your wife.">He winces again>His eyes flick back and forth>Good, he’s finally figuring out that you're not buying this schtick>"Let me prove it to you." He says firmlyYou mull over his words through another mouthful of alcohol. "Prove it, how?" You ask>"Come back through the portal." He gestures to the spinning vortex in space-time that opened in your living room. "It WILL give you back your original body""But not "my" memories, right?" You recall that convenient little tidbit>He sags, head drooping>"N- no..." He admits. "Sombra's specialty was dark magic that corrupted the mind. Him wiping your memories were a "magnum opus" you could call it""So how does that prove anything? For all I know, this is just a portal that'd turn any human into your Cadance." You point out>"If it doesn't work-" He hastily tries to argue. "And you're... not Cadance, then you can come straight back, and I- we, will leave you alone.">You ponder his words for a moment>This whole thing was making your head ache, but there was potential>After a pregnant pause, you lean in, getting nearer to the stallion for the first time since he arrived"Counter offer..." You begin, making his ears twitch up. "If I go through this magic portal, and I'm not who you're looking for," you mime towards the hole and yourself as you speak before turning towards him, "then you set me up for life on this alien planet of yours."
>>43669669>He blinks several times in quick succession, head tilting back and forth, as if trying to process if he heard you right>"What?" He finally asks, confused"You heard me." You confirm. "Cause, honestly? You're right. It sucks here, but an alien planet sounds like a fun adventure. If I go through that portal, and I'm still me, then you use your royal connections to hook me up. A big house, clothes- you'll need a good tailor for an alien," you saunter around the room as his jaw lowers more and more as you list off your demands, "money from the Crown, for life, and no taxes, also for life. I want to be able to kick back, relax, and do whatever I want.">He's almost trembling on his hooves as he looks at you>"Cady..." He murmurs. "What did he do to you...?">You just roll your eyes at him, then snap a finger in front of his face to get his attention"Wake up there Prince Charming I need an answer.">He stumbles back, back hoof half slipping into the portal before readjusting himself>His eyes look to you, disappointment, despair, and what you could swear is something like fear in them, before flickering around the room in thought>"Okay..." He begins. "Okay, BUT-" He raises a hoof to you. "If you ARE Cadance, which you are." He reasserts confidently. "You HAVE to commit fully to your duties and ruling our Kingdom like you used to.">You consider his offer>It should be easy enough to take>Especially considering that you're not a bubblegum flavoured variety of magic horse>But this could all be a trick by them>Better make this as good on you as possible"I won't commit to ruling it how I used to, cause I'm not-" How do you even phrase this? "I'm not that from what it was like before." He nods, following your logic. "Buuuuut, I will agree to trying to rule MY kingdom as best as I can as I am now.">"...your kingdom?" He asks, nervously shuffling on his hooves"Yeah, cause- hate to break it to you, but, this?" You use your hands to gesture between yourself and him. "Pony or no pony, this ain't happening.">"Bu-">Oh, WOW, you can actually see his heart crack in his eyes.>"But Cadance... I love you-""I don't care." You half chuckle with a shake of your head. "I'm not a fag, I don't date dudes.">You finish off your cider and three-point shot it across the room into the bin where it shatters securely with the trash>Best case scenario, you'll never have to deal with this place again>Worst case scenario, you're having a schizophrenic episode so broken glass is the least of your problems"Let's just get this over with." You grumble>No time like the present>No point packing>You step up to the portal>The unicorn, Shining, looks at you, hopeful, expectant, now with the shadow of uncertainty hanging over his eyes>You roll yours and duck down to meet the height requirement of the portal>It feels like falling from a great height, while being submerged deep underwater, and being sucked through a hole two sizes too small at the same time
>>43669672>Then you emerge and you breathe>Coughing and sputtering and- why the fuck can't you stand?>You stumble on your hands and feet, trying to right yourself>Your weight and balance is all over the place>You look down and scream>Pink>Why are you pink!?>You do a once over>Candy coloured mane, wings, a horn!?>Oh fuck, he was right!>"Cadance!" A chorus of voices shout in elation at the sight of you>You're sort of hoping that this is just the schizophrenic episode getting worse>Three other ponies, one purple, one dark blue, and one white, all sporting wings and horns like you approach>Their horns were alight with a glow that connects to the portal behind you>As they close in, so too, do five others>Two with wings, one blue and rainbow coloured, one yellow and pink>One with just a horn, pure white with a purple mane>Was she the sister of that guy?>And then two with none of the extra features, poor fuckers>You crouch back as they get closer, surprising them"Oh fuck there are more of you!?" You shout?>Who shouted that"What-" You say again, that's not your voice. "WHAT!?" You yell again. "Is that my voice-? Is that MY voice!?">There's no mirrors in here>Your body's still weird>But not in the way you'd expect>You're not stumbling as much as you thought you would>Everything's on auto-pilot and working correctly>Like how you can just do shit immediately after waking up without thinking at all>Your wings flare in alarm>Your tail thrashes back and forth in distress>And you distinctly feel something from your tail going back and forth>Or specifically, a lack of something>It is at that moment that the portal crackles again, and Shining steps through it beside you, and the other three like you turn off their horns making it close as they hunch over, exhausted"Where's my dick!?" You yell>"Sister, what's happening?" The blue one, taller than you, you note, asks>"I'm... not sure, Luna." The tallest, whitest one responds, eyeing you cautiously>"She was..." Shining steps forward to explain. "Worse than we imagined." He looks back at you mournfully, you just look at him like the faggot he's acting like. "She was in some sort of... bipedal alien body... a male one.""Human." You correct. "Not alien." You jab a hoof at the gathered ponies that are looking at you strangely. "You're the aliens.">Luna looks between you for a moment, then to the purple, shorter one. "And she was convinced that that's what she had always been?">"That's what Sombra's spell was intended to do." She cautiously magics a book trapped in a magic bubble over to her, black smoke billowing out of it"Man, this Sombra guy knew his stuff. This. Is. Weird." You say, trotting forward>Again, you're not put off by how you can't operate this body>But how you can>It's as easy as walking like a human- which you are, but the motions are all different
>>43669674>You dare to wrack your brain, admittedly worried that you'll be hit with the raging hormones of the mare they claim you to be, or worse, her memories overwriting yours>Luckily, all your memories from earth and humanity are still there"Looks like he did the trick too." You whistle, knocking on your head. "Not a single memory of any of you!">They look put off by your chipper tone>"Cadance..." The tallest one approaches you, her eyes nearly watering. "You... you really don't remember me?""Should I?" You ask without missing a beat>She winces, stepping back as her lower lip quivers. "No, I-" Her voice cracks. "No... I suppose you shouldn't. I suppose Sombra got his revenge from beyond the grave... in the end.">Wow, they really cared about this Cadance>Are you gonna have to take up that name now?>There has to be a way you can change it up to not sound so gay>"I know something she could never forget!" The purple one states confidently as she strides up to you>Then she starts prancing in place>"Sunshine! Sunshine!" She crouches down, putting her hooves over her eyes before removing them. "Ladybugs awake-" She tapers off as you stare at her before sitting and pushing her hooves forward. "Clap your hooves...?" She then really confuses you as she pushes her ass in front of your face. "And do... a little.... shake...?">You can't stifle the laughter that rocks out of you at the sight>She looks downtrodden, but you can't stop laughing>That was the funniest shit you've ever seen>Was that supposed to mean something>Now she looks close to tears, and that almost makes it funnier>"Hey! You may have lost your memories but you don't have to be such a jerk!" The rainbow one admonishes you>You try to make the movement of using your hand to push her face out of yours>Woah-! That feels weird>Your horn lights up and the same glow appears on her face and pushes her away>You look up and click your tongue with a small smirk"Magic... huh...">Cool>"Twilight, what do we do?" The yellow and pink one asks, shrinking slightly under your gaze as her voice snapped you out of your realization of magic being something you have now>"She's almost acting the same way Chrysalis did before." The other white unicorn states"Who?" You ask, scrunching your muzzle at them>"A small probe to her mind would reveal all." The blue one states in a grim tone you don't appreciate you as she eyes you suspiciously, looking between the other mares you've left softly cryingYou roll your eyes. "Quit being dramatic, you must have known what you were getting into when you started this." God, it is never gonna not be weird hearing that high-pitch say your words. "Any checking can be done later. I want to take these babies out for a test drive.">You feel magic flare up your horn and wings flap behind you>Seriously, it should not be so easy to do this, but you're not complaining>"No." She states. "Not until we can be certain."
>>43669675>You chuckle, and hate that you sound like a woman while doing it"And what? You're gonna stop me?" You ask with a smirk>"If. We. Must." She says>The two of you stand across from each other, eyes narrowing>Though they're automatic to control, the specifics still aren't there, so while your wings takeoff, they do not take off quickly>You're wrapped up in a deep blue glow and lifted off the ground>This is an unfortunate turn of events>You stretch out your wings, legs and try to thrash against the hold as much as you can>But it's not like fighting muscle against muscle, it's like trying to snap out of elastic and rubber, it just reverts to a natural form if you don't break it>"This will be easier if thou doth comply, dear niece""You know, nobody talks like that anymore, right?" You half-deride with a smirk>She just snorts at you>Wait, if you can't fight magic with muscles>Then you should fight it with magic>Your horn flares and... something responds>It hits the magic holding you, but it's not enough to break you out of the hold>"Even before Sombra's decimation of thy mind, you were never a match for us, Cadance. Cease this needless struggle, we do not wish to harm you.">You promptly ignore her>There has to be something you can magic up to get out of this>But it all comes out as the same limp burst of baby blue sparks>With a growl, you push more will into your horn, just wanting out of this"Stupid magic-!" You cry out as your horn seems to glow brighter. "Get me the hell out of here!">A sudden feeling of weightlessness takes you as you're suspended in nothing, then reality rushes back to you with a sudden pop>Fuck it's cold>You look around, you're outside"WOOHOO!" Without even thinking about it, your wings help you backflip in the air as you cheer. "Suck it, blue one whose name I forgot!" You point at the castle and pump a hoof>Time to do what you wanted and give this new you a test drive>Magic>Flying>You might have lost your hands and dick, but this is a net neutral at best>And if you get good with magic, you might be able to get the second one back any way>There's a pulse of something pleasantly warm nearby>An almost familiar sensation>You turn around to see a heart shaped crystal thrumming nearby>Certainly looks pretty>Being near it floods you with a few feelings, calm- serenity even, a touch of happiness, and...>Power>You feel REALLY powerful being near it>It sends a small shiver up your neck that you shake off with a sigh>Your wings flap as you get ready to take off>If the best way to learn how to swim is to jump in the deep end, then the best way to learn- or realearn? how to fly is to take off>"Look! It's the princess! She's been returned to us!" A voice calls>A pony comes running over to you, then a few more do, then dozens do>All their voices clamouring and cheering for you>You yelp in surprise as they lift you up and begin tossing you up and down as they cheer your? name over and over
>>43669678>"Oh, Sombra's spell must have been a harrowing experience, your majesty." One of them says>Why do they look weird?>The other ponies looked like, well, ponies, despite the weird colours and extra accessories, fur, hide, all that>These ones look like they're almost blocky>Weird, questions for later though>"Is there anything we can do to make this day easier on you, your highness?" Another asks>You initially just want them to put you down so you can go flying>But that portal DID ruin the small buzz you had going from your cider>You point a hoof up and try to sound as regal as possible"Your princess needs a drink! Take me to your liquor!">The ponies seem a bit confused by your request, but a mutual ripple of shrugs goes through them before they cheer and begin chanting for booze as they carry you off down a street>The royal coffers can handle you having a night or two on the town, right?and that's about all I'm willing to do for this borderline tranny prompt, thought it was something to send this thread off with since its endured for so long, someone else can pick it up if they want to, probably ptfg, they love to troon out there
>>43669681Pretty good green, nice work writefag.
>>43669681i cummed to this
>>43669681Wwll I can say I enjoyed this green like a secret taboo of mine.
>>43669681kino
>>43669681Now I'm invested, someone gotta continue this.
>>43422660Terrifying that my life is just a illusion.
>>43675059Ponies do unironically have to deal with that kind of shit with Discord and the like
>>43675066true, now that makes me think. Is screwball a illusion caused by Discord? If that mare could think she'd be terrified that she'd stop existing when all the chaos he's causing is contained.
>>43675710>Is screwball a illusion caused by Discord?Very possible>If that mare could think she'd be terrified that she'd stop existing when all the chaos he's causing is contained.While that is the kind of bullshit Dicord would pull, and I could even imagine him using it as an excuse e.g. when Twilight was threatening him in one way or another ("if you punish me you'll be punishing innocent( victim)s"), it's also very likely that she doesn't think in a way where that would be harmful any more than any of his other illusions.I also don't think ponies give a shit about the lives of magical illusions anyway. They seem to have a pretty strong distinction between that sort of thing and don't hesitate too much to blast magical creatures in ways which often feel pretty permanent. That also probably cuts the other way; ponies have pretty strong attachments to universally enforced destinies and stuff, so if they found out they were the illusion I kind of think they'd be cool with it. The more educated ones like Twilight and Pinkie at least, AJ or Dash might freak out.My headcanon for Screwball personally is more just that she's a pony that lives full time in Discord's chaos dimension and if you un-discorded her she'd just go back to being an ordinary mare.
>>43675728>My headcanon for Screwball personally is more just that she's a pony that lives full time in Discord's chaos dimension and if you un-discorded her she'd just go back to being an ordinary mare.Well that's a relief for her, at least she gets to live for another day in your headcanon.
>>43675059it is what it is
>>43651298Twilight Sparkle looks funny as a foal.
>>43678930well yeah?
>>43422660woow what am i supposed to dooooo
>>43681456Go with Shining Armor. ez.
>>43682119he scares me
>>43669681>and that's about all I'm willing to do for this borderline tranny prompt, thought it was something to send this thread off with since its endured for so long, someone else can pick it up if they want to, probably ptfg, they love to troon out thereanon this thread exists *for* the prompt, not for contentcunt just keeps it up to "troll" the board with a page of shitty threads no one actually uses post your green in /green/ for people to actually see it
>>43682847>post your green in /green/ for people to actually see it>post it in a dead general that has more bumps then anything worthwhilewoooooow
>>43422660I'M CALLING THE POLICE
>>43683778>Shining pulls you in with magicNot enough time.
>>43684360then im yoloing out of my house asap
