>>43438682
>Could you be platonic friends with a mare?
Of course!
However, the question should rather be: Could the average mare be platonic friends with a male?
I think the answer would be different.

>>43438682
Any updates to the Long and Short of It and the Sunburst green?

>>43438682
>>43438693
Wasn't the ending of last thread about how Derpy is such a good mare, that 2 stallions wanted to be more than platonic friends?

>>43438714
Derpy isn't your average mare.

>>43438682
>G%
>that artstyle
Shit bake.

>>43438842
Seethe on.

>>43438852
Seethe off.

>>43438879
Thanks, I feel better now.

>>43438714
>>43438724
Derpy putting the mareosphere on suicide watch simply by proving that a good personality pulls more stallions than big tufts ever could.

>Be anon
>Twilight just "accidentally" sent you into the future where every pony race hate each other.
>Turn out Twilight seals all pony magic into three gems to teach everyone a valuable lesson about friendship.
>To bad it back fire and the three race went to live away from each other.
>It took ten years for a group of five ponies to put the gems together and brought back magic.
>Sadly you're also stuck here due to none of them know how to send you back.
>You now working with Sunny at the smoothy shop with her awkwardly flirting with you.
>At least it not a alternate universe where everyone is human.
>Something Something RGRE

>>43439229
There are worse fates.

>"Anon, I still don't understand why you can't join us"
>be Anonymous
>be worried
>since p0nies are behind human "progress" for about 150 years
>it's about time for them to toy with the idea of weaker sex having representation in the government
>there are two problems
>"Shouldn't *you* be the type interested in freedom?"
>№1
>Sex roles are flipped
>And being an alien from the world where males do have rights
>Makes you a rather popular figure in these stallionist spheres
>the cunts (dicks?) try to drag you into their shenanigans
>"...is it because of our alcohol proposals?"
>Problem №2
>Suffragists' greatest dream is a world without booze
>What the fuck should you do?

>>43439488
I think alcohol should be banned, but I am also aware that doing so will do squat dick and I would tell them this

They should aim for equal rights first and then just try to impose a high sin tax to discourage drinking (and other drug use) without it going full shadow economy.

Also, besides Rainbow Dash and Berry Punch (and maybe Pinkie in Yakety-Sax) do we know of ponies with an unhealthy drinking habit?

I would actually let myself get sucked into the discourse, simply to temper some of the more bullshit ideas the suffragists may get.

>>43439749
Man sin taxes have not improved a damn thing in my country

>>43439488
Given what gender equality did to the west. Any Anon who finds himself in RGRE should be the biggest campaigner against it.

>>43440016
>Be Anonymous
>get an idea
>write down everything you remember from /pol/, /r9k/ and RapeApe's Twitter
>swap sexes and change some terminology from hands to hoofs
>leave out the polygamy rants because you don't know how to adapt them to Equestria
>publish this junk under a pseudonym
>"Green Hornet" or whatever
>Should stay anonymous even when there's no board to be anonymous on
>Now it's time to wait for reviews in the journals
>what could possibly go wrong?

>>43439488
>Suffragists' greatest dream is a world without booze
Stallions belong in the field and the bedroom, not the town hall. They can not be trusted with any sort of authority.

>>43440069
>open the door the next morning
>Trixie is on top of her cart with a Hitler 'stache and is ranting
>vid related, except it's cute ponies yelling "Sieg Heil!" in their squeaky voices
https://youtu.be/4wAckcLnySc?t=85

>>43440343
>Stallions belong in the field
are you one of those guys who prefers "rgre still has stronger males" gimmick?

>>43440750
Well, yeah, who wants small, scrawny stallions?

In any case, the joke is that stallions are only good for plowing.

>>43440759
>Well, yeah, who wants small, scrawny stallions?
those who love janefillies?
>In any case, the joke is that stallions are only good for plowing.
oh lol

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>>43440750
Dude, they're still larger than mares in the show. Notable exception are the kirin.

Assertive mares... COUGH... a dying breed...

>>43441140
>spoiler
Man, Equestrian mares would LOVE a male kirin.

>Be anon
>Working at the smoothy shop
>man the place while Sunny is out doing delivery
>As you handed the smoothy to the costumer you notice the next pony in line
>"Well isn't the money from the past."
>It maretime bay resident resist; Posey
"What can I get you?"
>"I don't want your monkey paw touching my drink."
"Well Sunny is not going be back for thirty minute."
>Posey groun before responding
>"Get me my blueberry surprise."
>You just go to work fixing up her drink and hand it to her.
>She snatch it and take a sip.
>"Not bad, for a monkey."
>She then drop money on the counter before leaving
>You swear you see her swaying her hips before you deal with the next costumer.
>You will not be surprised if she has a change of heart and ask you out for a date.
>like that ever going to happen

>Be Posey
>One day that monkey is going to put his banana in you.
>You just have get him before Sunny do.
>And fuck having a herd, those tends to fall apart like those in the past.

>>43440069
>weeks pass
>stallionists still bother you
>but now they ask you to refute Green Hornet with your maresculine personality
>If only they knew how bad things really are...
>At least they stopped campaigning for prohibition
>*knock knock*
>"Hi Anon!"
>"I've got mail for you!"
>You've also started to receive "fan" letters
>about 3/5 of them are from stallions calling you a "lonely loser"
>"You've been busy with making new penpals, huh?"
>should you introduce ponies to the concept of "incel"?
>probably not
>Thankfully you've yet to get any "gifts" in style of Ted Ka-
>"I was just wondering if everything is...Okay with you"
>What
>"I've heard from the boys that some mares are now calling for removal of all rights from stallions"
>"As if they-I mean you guys had any!"
>"Just make sure no nasty mare harasses you with that, aright?"
>...
>"Oh and thank you and goodbye!"
>...
>Is Derpy a fucking stallionist ally?
>inb4 she's doing it for the bit just to find a step-dad for her daughter
>You should probably ask her directly later
>She's too good for something as pathetic as this
>Alright, let's see what we have today...
>"-You are a disgrace to all of Equestria-"
>"-What's your opinion on stallions that choose monogamy?-"
>"-Do you have a herd? Because I feel like somepony like-"
>One letter you've got has a sealing wax?
>Why would anyone bother with-
>You notice a crescent on the seal
>...
>fuck

>>43441698
I appreciate your contributions ESL anon, sincerely. I'm going to show you what this would look like written in something approaching proper English:

>Be anon
>Working at the smoothy shop
>man the place while Sunny is out doing deliveries
>As you hand a smoothy to your current costumer you notice the next pony in line
>"Well if it isn't the monkey from the past."
>It's maretime bay's resident racist; Posey
"What can I get you?"
>"I don't want your monkey paws touching my drink."
"Well Sunny is not going to be back for thirty minutes."
>Posey (growls? grins?) before responding
>"Get me my blueberry surprise."
>You just go to work fixing up her drink and hand it to her.
>She snatches it and takes a sip.
>"Not bad, for a monkey."
>She then drops money on the counter before leaving
>You swear you see her swaying her hips before you deal with the next customer.
>You will not be surprised if she has a change of heart and asks you out for a date.
>like that's ever going to happen

>Be Posey
>One day that monkey is going to put his banana in you.
>You just have get him before Sunny does.
>And fuck having a herd, those tend to fall apart like the ones in the past.

Stick that in a text differ and contemplate why these changes may have been made. I want you to know I do this entirely out of love and a kind of patronizing but affectionate racism.

>leading glorious stallionist rebellion at long last
>be the pride and secret hope of stallions across Equestria, fighting for equal rights against the evil monarchy
>the time to act is now, your forces will surge into the royal city and capture the princesses
>get absolutely crushed at the gate, countless last minute betrayals from mares you'd thought were allies
>captured and drugged, what mares remained loyal are induced into delirious heat and mindlessly gang rape you in the public square
>the propaganda ruins the moral of the remaining cells, the revolution collapses overnight
>given to the youngest princess sister as a toy, barely a filly
>marched around on a leash for the rest of your days
Such is life. They ran a train on you, but at least the trains run on time.

>>43441791
>(growls? grins?)
I think he meant groans.

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>>43442241
Colts, not even once.

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>Oh, you don't talk?
>..Shame, darling, it's not as though cracking a smile would ruin those good looks.
>I-Is that- Are you blushing, dear?

>>43441698
Is she just in denial or is Posey so ultra gay, that she plays hard to get as the dominant sex?

>>43439229
Somehow the kirin and changelings were massacred when the pony race wars began.

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>>43438682
What are the chances of me seeing Preunification Anon being finished in my lifetime?

>>43441739
Should have never given a mail address. Now he’s in trouble.

>>43441739
>>You notice a crescent on the seal
and that´s how anon got to meet his biggest fanmare and snatched a honorary seat in the night court

>>43442516
>What are the chances of me seeing Preunification Anon being finished in my lifetime?
I don't even understand this sentence, how long have I been away from this thread?

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soon
https://ponepaste.org/10443

>>43443668
>shape shifting life draining monster
closest thing to actual female tendencies in rgre?

Continuation of https://ponepaste.org/10819

>The inside of the castle is just as massive as the outside
>Maybe a little more
>The highest vaulted cielings you've ever seen, stained glass windows the size of boats, and tapestries the likes of which you'd only ever heard of
>Everything's got a real heart motif going on
>As the two of you trek down lengthy halls, you pass several other horses that share brief pleasantries with Sunburst and shoot curious glances at you
>Eventually, you reach the largest entryway yet, second only to the main entry to the entire castle
>Sunburst stops short of entering, turning to you and putting a hoof on your shoulder
>"Anonymous, I-Oh, right, sorry." He rears his hoof back when you instinctually stare at where he was touching you
>He clears his throat and gives you a solemn look
>"Anonymous, the ponies you're about to meet are very important. They're very powerful. And," He smiles, "they're very friendly."
>"But, if you want to leave at any point, or you feel uncomfortable or scared, just tug on my cape."
>Sunburst holds out a corner of the starry fabric
>You snag it in the crook of your hoof and tug it twice, earning a wider smile from Sunburst
>"Just like that."
>Sunburst stands fully again
>"Ready?"
>You shrug
>Sunburst chuckles and the two of you resume onwards
>If the rest of the castle were well-lit, this chamber was positively glowing
>The stained-glass masterpieces of before are now transparent, allowing the crystal construction to bend the sunlight to and fro and illuminating each and every angle of everything
>Glancing around, you realize you can't see a speck of shadow beneath any of the guards or around either throne
>And those thrones were a sight unto themselves
>Sitting back and center of the room sat a magnificient throne of crystal that appeared to be a single piece with the rest of the room, and every curve and angle looked as naturally formed as any wild mineral, rather than carved by hand
>Or hoof, or horn, or whatever
>Beside it was a more obviously added, but no less grandiose, throne crafted of oak and gold
>"Sunny!"
>You'd been ogling the goods so thoroughly that you hadn't even noticed the bright white unicorn in uniform sitting on top of it
>"Shiny!" Sunburst called out in kind as the unicorn trotted down the steps
>The two embraced eachother with a hoof and nuzzled into one another's shoulders
>Gay
>Sunburst and the white unicorn separated, and the stranger's attention turned to you
>He perked up like a grabby toddler spotting the cat's tail
>"Well, hi there, little guy!"
>Despite being in an expensive looking royal uniform, the white unicorn flops down onto his belly right in front of you, getting his head down to your eye level
>"My name's Shining Armor."
>You glance at Sunburst from the corner of your eye
>He's just smiling at the scene
>Sunburst looks a little expectant, but you're not really sure what he wants from you
>You look back at Shining Armor
"I have cancer."

Sorry for the wait

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>>43443668
"UGH, this is pointless!" You groan as your helmet clanks against the rusted metal of the old filing cabinet
>You are Iron Shield and this is probably the best and worst day of your, admittedly short, career
>As a private, you expected nothing but standard guard duty until you got promoted
>Of course, excitement quickly found the capital with the Changeling invas- delegates
>It was just a day before the Queen and Prince practically turned the castle upside down
>If that other freak Discord weren't still in stone, he'd probably be proud
>Now here you are
>Trapped in "The Deep Archives" of Canterlot General
>The sleep deprived Head Doctor locked you and your commanding officer in with the prince you were supposed to be protecting
>You're so gonna get your hide tanned for this
>If not by Celestia, then by your commanding officer's commanding officer
>And that's if you were lucky
>The princess seems to be willing to take extra steps for this peace
>What if she lets Chrysalis look over your punishment?
>You don't even like the way these bugs look at you
>Let alone the thought of what sort of punishment they might dole out
>You'd heard the stories of The Heartless Queen
>And she seemed to fawn over and adore her son
>Or "son" you should say
>The alien
>You sneak a glance up at him
>He has a determined focus you don't see in many stallions
>You're not sure how long you've been stuck down here, but it hasn't mattered to him
>When he said he was uninterested in leaving and only wanted answers, he meant it
>He practically ripped apart the old filing cabinets until he found the first document he could on Foal's Breath
>An ugly little disease
>Your niece caught it once, a while back
>You still sometimes have nightmares of when it was your turn to take night watch and hold her hoof
>Some part of you hates the idea of some bug coming up with a way to stop it
>Another just wants any help that can come so others don't have to feel that same sting
>You steal another glance at the prince
>His eyes flick with the fluidity of a dance and the intensity of a blade over the pages
>He barely moves from his seat once he has the documents he needs
>And all he's ordered from the two of you were to find more documents while he read to lighten the workload
>It's... weird
>Any other noble colt in his position would have endless demands
>Rub his aching hooves
>Try and find something to eat in this barren archive
>Fan him in the insufferable heat
>Speaking of, the little tease of a prince hasn't done anything that can actually stoke any fantasies that could while away the time
>You've just had to make stuff up in your head
>He started the day in that dark suit of his, and he hasn't so much as shrugged off the jacket
>You and Silver Crest, meanwhile have stripped the majority of your armors to relax out of the weight and humidity of the room
>It almost feels emaresculating to not be able to handle what he can

>>43444302
>"I'd like to thank you again for forgiving the impropriety of our request to doff our armaments, Prince Anonymous." Your Sergeant says
>No acknowledgement from him
>Not a wave, not a grunt, nothing
"You know, sir, you don't have to worry about us, you can shrug off some of your own garments if the heat's weighing on you." You offer half heartedly
>You get whacked in the shoulder by Silver Crest for that
>But you get nothing from the prince
>He didn't even react to your earlier outburst
>Very much not like a stallion
>Yet, as you sit here, sweaty, tired and bothered, you can't help but think of the ways he is
>Hairless for the most part, sure, but that just means more skin to touch in your mind
>Not to mention he was far more lithe than what you typically looked for in a stallion
>Then there was the softness in his face
>Yet, despite that there was an edge to him
>One you imagine would splinter and dull if he met the right mare
>Your books tell you that this situation is the time he finds "the right mare"
>The foreign prince
>Escorted by two well-trained, hardened, and available guardsmares
>Then he suddenly finds himself imperiled, trapped and helpless
>Something usually sets them off
>Unexplainable noises in the dark, explainable noises in the dark, an infestation of undesirables
>But he didn't care for any of it
>Any time a sound came from the darkness, he didn't even flinch
>Even when there was one loud enough to set you two on your guard, he simply continued to rifle through the parchments
>The one thing that gave him pause was a groaning howl that grew louder
>But where usually, in the books, the stallion prince clings to his protector, his gaze merely sharpened, rose from the page, and flickered to the shadow
>As if challenging whatever was making the racket to come out into your dim light and let him see its face so he could spit in it
>Like he didn't have anything to worry about
>He might not have the powers of a changeling
>But you were starting to wonder what power his species did have
>He certainly had some bug in him at least, that much was obvious
>As was made apparent when a spider the size of your hoof descended from the rafters to his shoulder
>You had informed him not to move so you could remove it
>Instead, he turned and met the spider's gaze, held out his weird appendage, a hand, you think, and let it crawl on
>Then, he simply repositioned it and continued his work
>He occasionally even spoke to it in hushed whispers
>Was it one of his changeling guards, assessing the situation, learning your names, all to take back to their dread queen and incur her wrath on you all?
>That seems possible, yet unlikely
>You've seen how his guards care about him
>It's almost enough to make you retch, but it might not be unreasonable to see it as comparable to what you guards feel for the princesses
>Plus if it really was one of them, they would have left to get help and get him out of here pronto

>>43444306
>All that to say, none of this is going the way it's supposed to
>The foreign prince in the books always takes comfort in his short-time companions in this situation
>Then he takes... comfort in them
>This one's only known the cold, hard, and probably disgustingly sticky touch of those bugly changelings, with their insect carapace and secretions
>If he had a roll in the hay with a soft, firm mare you bet that stone-cold gaze would break
>He'd probably even want to visit the guard barracks in the middle of the night like the naughty colt he is for another taste
>And maybe you'd share him with the other guards
>Send him back to his mother permeated with the smell of mares on him
>You can't stop your smile at the thought of it
>"Private, wipe that look off your face." Silver Crest says
>It's not an order, though technically every word out of her mouth is
>It's a "I know what you're thinking, stop it" wrapped in a different package
"Sorry, ma'am." You groan with a roll of your eyes. "Just wish there was something to do beyond look at yellow, stained parchment"
<>
>"Quit your whinging, Private." Silver Crest chastises her subordinate
>"I'm not whinging-"
>"Your muzzle's flapping, and you're complaining, that's whinging." Her sergeant says, silencing her. "I still don't know how you passed basic training with that attitude." She laments
>"With a little grit and a lot of physical excellence?" The private offers in a smaller voice
>"Just-" The sergeant huffs
>You can see the strain on her
>These ponies don't just wear their emotions on their sleeves
>They wear it on their skin, on their very bones
>They're slaves to them
>Veins bulge gently in her neck as she chokes down the words that all her years of discipline command her to swallow
>You're more surprised she hasn't hit her private
>Thorax held you to a level that was expected, and even then you often found Pharynx needed to reprimand him so you didn't sully your own hands
>How these ponies kept rank without physical admonishment is beyond you
>Perhaps they would call it archaic
>You would call their lack of it spineless
>You are Anonymous
>And you rancor against yourself
>Some Prince you are
>You held the answer to dominating these ponies in your hands for a moment
>Foal's Breath
>Your drones could filter through their transmogrifications until they shifted their physiology to one that produced a cure
>The lives of who knows how many ponies at the beck and call of your mother's whim and ennui
>Instead, here you were, chasing the lead these ponies didn't have the eyes to see
>You still can't recall who that was in the throne room
>The thing wearing your skin that readily offered his service to Princess Celestia
>You are a Prince
>Her equal in all but your ranks within your respective Kingdoms
>She should have been on her knees before you considered it
>But you can rectify this
>You made it clear that you weren't certain that you could give her what she wanted

>>43444309
>All you needed to do now was come up with a theory that held similarities, but was different from your true one
>Then it was the simple matter of finding evidence to plausibly disprove your theory
>After that, you would simply need to take up the mantle of a disparaged character, relay the tragic news to Celestia that you couldn't help, and you'd be scot free
>Then you could take the real cure to your mother, and all of Equestria could fall into her hooves
>You just needed to stop following the thread of this lead that keeps unravelling before your eyes with each record you find
>It was like a spider's web, each silken strand threatening to break under the gentlest force
>Yet, undisturbed as it was, each ivory strand held strong and pure, and at its heart sat the beautiful danger
>You're glad for the company of the spider that found you down here in the dank, dark and forgotten
>An insect it may be, but an insect you remain
>And it was far better company than that private who was unabashedly fucking you with her eyes and the sergeant who was only trying to be subtle about it
>Your mind turns from them though
>For now
>You can have them punished later
>Instead, your eyes drift back over the pile that's slowly grown beside you
>First you found records dating back two centuries
>Foal's Breath records were on a sheer decline and almost entirely eliminated
>Then you went further, from two centuries, to five
>Before Equestria was even well known to the various Hives
>Foal's Breath still held strong in its ability to infect the young of these ponies, but they had a way to treat it
>Then from five centuries to nine
>You've been down here for hours
>You're not sure if that Head Doctor simply hasn't informed Celestia, or has passed out
>It's clear to you that your mother isn't aware of your absence yet at least
>If she were, she would have already pried this hospital off of its foundations
>Perhaps Celestia has kept her under the impression that Day Court is still going?
>Surprisingly shrewd of her, if true
>You could almost respect it
>"Hey, Anonymous-"
>Iron Shield grunts as Silver Crest jabs her in the gap of her armor
>Not that there was much left
>Both mares had almost stripped bare from the heat of your lanterns and no air ventilation in these decrepit vaults of medical history
>"We still call him Prince, or your Highness, private."
>"But it's been soooo long and I'm bored, besides, I doubt he cares."
>The diatribe of their argument falls to the wayside of your attention as your eyes scan over the frail parchment in your hand
>You'd handled grubs more durable than these old records
>But your fingers allow for the softest of touches, and you use it to its full advantage here as you peer across the pages
>Old Ponish wasn't your expertise, but Mother had insisted on you being taught in case of encountering an old magical artifact of your sworn enemies
>As the two half naked mares argued, you still sat in your suit, hardly a wrinkle in it

>>43444313
>This heat might be oppressive to them, but it was familiar to you
>Briefly you allow your mind to wander back to home and let the thin threads of worry tie around your heart
>You'd done everything you could to secure your home, but without being there, you could never know for sure
>The monsters had been driven from your borders, true, but would the absence of your mother and you embolden them again?
>The reserves of Love had not only been filled to capacity, but expanded and filled again, yes, but what if some drones got greedy?
>No, no, you were family
>They would not get greedy
>Not until the supply started to run low
>And you were a far cry from such an occurrence
>As long as none of them were stupid about it, or knocked over one of the containers and spilled it all
>Again
>Yet another document pulls your interest
>[Year 113 of the Monomark and the Foal's Breath Plague. This foul compunction freezes yet compels me. I see this disease rolling across the land, and from its namesake I dare not guess whether it be the kingdom's second wind, or its dying gasp. The one sweet surcease these foals find succor in, is that they are yet able to be held by their parents through these troubles.]"
>But why is it affecting the adults now?
>You need more
"Have you two found anything?" You don't raise your eyes from the page to acknowledge them
>The shuffling of parchment is your only answer for a time
>Then a sheaf is pushed towards you
>You're not sure which mare it is that passed it to you, you only see her coat colour as you do not pull your head up, and you haven't bothered to remember their features yet
>Without a word you strip the sheaf of parchment page by page, your eyes dancing over the words, drinking in what you need
>There's a scoff as hooves click against the stone
>"You're welcome-" is spat back at you under hushed tones
>You dismiss the tone that would normally have been met with your ire
>Never once have you overestimated yourself
>Alone, a changeling is weak, vulnerable
>It is why the Hive is sacred
>But you never show a flicker of that weakness, certainly not here, now
>Two undisciplined, aggrieved mares, and you
>Locked in a room who knows how far below the ground
>It doesn't take a fool to understand the worst case scenario here
>The parchments were the other half of what you needed
>Visits to the hospital made by other species, dragons, griffons, minotaurs and more
>No matter what time they visited, there was always some outbreak of Foal's Breath nearby
>Yet not a single record showed these species picking up the symptoms
>You just needed to satisfy the last dangling thread, to quieten the niggling that sat at the back of your mind
>With the grace expected of Royalty that you kept even in these... bucolic environs, you rose from your seat
>Lantern in hand, you swept across the room to the deepest section
>Some of the drawers were rusted shut, and you struggled to have them yield to you

>>43444315
>You hear a huff of laughter, "Colts." One of the two said before a magic gleam encompassed the drawer and it was wrenched open with a shriek of metal
>"You're welcome for that too." The other chides
>You only shoot a steely glance over your shoulder at them, less than a glare
>The light is low, but even still, your shadow grows large across the walls
>Neither of them make it obvious who said what, but they avoid your gaze all the same
>Was it fear of the alien?
>Shame at so easily breaking their etiquette as guardmares?
>Were they laughing at you into their hooves and hiding it?
>Or was it something as banal as inexperience with males that had them averting their gazes like schoolfillies?
>None mattered, all possibilities were irrelevant to your work
>You scanned through the old documents
>Year 87, Year 72, Year 52, Year 26
>Year by year you flipped through the parchment, pulling free anything that mentioned Foal's Breath as you scoured the information
>The mares at least had the dignity to keep their silence while you worked
>At the very least they had been taught to not interfere in work that ought to be left to their betters
>Year 9, 7, 12- for some reason, 3
"Where is it- where is it!?" You curse under your breath as you slam through drawer after drawer
>There couldn't just be Equestrian records of Canterlot, there had to be more
>You reach the final drawer and pry your limb into the back and unfurl the scroll
>"[A new Age begins. Herein; know that today marks but one day of the Empty Year. The diarchy is sundered, the usurper banished, and a new city 'pon Canterlot Mountain shall be hewn, as has been declared by her Eminence, Celestia, the Monarch. Today is the day wherein the doors of our great facility open themselves to the weak and weary; hear ye, this record doth declare the officiation of this institute under the Sole Crown. Let all be welcome. Let all be healed.]"
>History in your hands, and you yearn to set it aflame with your glare
>Empty words from a pony your mother had beaten to consecrate a stone building that could easily be turned to so much rubble
>Worthless
>You have only so much to go on
>Enough to give Celestia the new lead she's desperate for, or to give your mother the key to this land
>But it isn't perfect
>Your mother might allow it for the benefit it grants you and your drones
>But you can not, will not, do not allow it in yourself
>You are a prince
>You are better than this
>But anger at parchment is beneath you
>With the care these ponies would insist it deserves, you ensconce the parchment back where you found it
>You rise and move to the wall just beside the cabinet
>What little isolation you can find here will be a boon to you and your thoughts
>A disease that has existed since before the Unification
>It has endured through the thousand years of Celestia's singular rule
>For the longest time it had only affected foals and not their parents
>It never affected non-ponies, even today

>>43444320
>Recently it had seemingly been cured
>Now it has grown erratic, and the symptoms now appear in the adults
>There was no singular location that its activity saturated
>No obvious cause
>What had stayed consistent through the years that the ponies hadn't considered?
>What had you seen that they hadn't?
>That they were dependant on each other
>Not in the same way you and your drones were
>But it never once occurred to them to isolate their foals from their parents, once proven that it couldn't infect the adults
>The adults were strong enough to not be subjected to the symptoms of the disease
>But they could be carriers
>Long-term carriers, breathing in the disease and simply feeding it back into the foal
>If they could bring themselves to detach from their children, the recovery process would be expedited
>Still, this made things on your end much easier
>It was simply a means of producing the regularly occurring proteins of a pony en masse
>An amount that would strengthen their foals enough to survive the ordeal while it passed through their systems
>An amount the ponies would never be able to replicate on their own, even if every pony in the land donated themselves to the cause
>But what was the connector that brought it to the adults?
>You still weren't sure
>There was only a theory in your head, one you'd hoped to prove by coming down here
>But the records didn't go back far enough
>As you lament your situation, the spider from before scurries down your body, its spindly limbs barely a sensation upon you
>Curiously, you follow its route with your gaze and watch it jump to the wall and down it
>Then, it squeezes into a gap among the brick and mortar that the dark could not reveal to you
>You grab your lantern and crouch down to where the arachnid disappeared, and there you see it
>Worn and weathered, but as you run your thumb across it, dust and debris falls away to reveal a sigil of the sun
>Shrewd indeed
>Of course she wouldn't allow such records to be left behind
>Perhaps even she had forgotten about it in time and in her worry
>It is stuck in the wall, such that only magic could pull it free
>But your digits find a hold
>It juts out from your tug and your lantern is knocked to tilt
>You quickly stop yourself, steady it, then place it atop the filing cabinets, far from where the brick is being pulled from
>The guards cast a curious glance at what you're doing, and you see a magical gleam catch the brick
>Even with their added help, the age of the brick, compounded by the weight of a building atop where it was first settled leaves it firmly in place
>A second glow encompasses the brick and you hear a grunt from behind you as the three of you attempt to wrench it free
>Finally it begins to slip from its sleeve in the wall, and then you feel one of them make a mistake
>They let their magic seep in behind the brick to pull it from the back as well, and the magic bleeds into the wall

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>>43444324
>Before you can tell them to stop, the brick flies out at speeds, flattening you on your back as it sails out of your hands and over you
>At the same time, a groan rings through the wall as more of the wall suddenly shifts inward
>Though the movement is small, it is enough to crash into the filing cabinet
>Everything happens in slow motion
>Your lantern shatters as it sails across the room
>All the while, the filing cabinet lets out a thunderous crash as it hits the floor, and the rust on its back caves in
>The exposed parchment is hit by a single spark of flame and immediately catches
>A fire roars to life, illuminating the room in its entirety
>Without thinking, your hand darts in and grabs a parchment and wrenches it out before the fire can spread to it
>You rapidly gather what parchment you can while the two guardmares try to extinguish the flame
>But they do not see the second fire that spreads until it is too late
>The rest of the broken lantern rolls to a closed filing cabinet
>Almost closed
>A single rusted hole lets the dying flame slip in and find new life to burn in the parchment within
>The fire spreads until it billows out of the top and the other lanterns, and their remaining fuel explode across the wall
>"That's it! We! Are! Leaving!" Silver Crest bellows as she charges towards you
>Your pendant slips from her hooves as she goes to offer it
>"Ma'am! His pen-" Iron Shield says as she dives to save your pendant from the blaze
>Only for her hoof to make contact with the enchantment circle and activate it
>A silence more deafening than the thundering metal, or roaring flame rings out as she disappears
>With two amulets
>Both only having had one charge left
>She could return with the one she had
>But then that would only leave Silver Crest's pendant
>To send one of you back
>You see this calculation being made on her face as she looks at the empty space her mare-in-arms once was, the blazing inferno, and you
>"....Oh...." is all she can stomach to say

https://ponepaste.org/10443#1950
sup

>>43444329
ah, shit

This bake might have G5hit in OP, but I'm still saving it.

>>43444290
lmao, good to see you again

>>43444329
A tense battle will now emerge to decide who gets to be the hero! I hope it's the mare.

>>43444329
RIP spider.
>>43444290
Anon is a little shit.

>>43442516
I don't remember this story, got a green?

>both greens at once
surely this was coordinated and a conspiracy

>>43445951
>The writenigger cabal strikes again

>>43443294
Like 3 years. It was *this* close to finishing. And I think it ended on a cliffhanger, too.
>>43445669
https://ponepaste.org/5508

>>43444290
>"I have cancer."
Say what?

Anon, we need to work on your social skills.

>>43445951
Someone check if AladdinAnon posted.

>>43446246
>linkrel
>158k words
I will be back in a fortnight's time, anons!

Imagine you travel to Neighreece with your herd and your little filly daughter.
You get to your restaurant reservation and at the door a group of stallions just walk up to you and scoop up your daughter so "you can enjoy your meal" and walk into a backroom with her.
Do you trust the stallions?

>>43446875
>Do you trust the stallions?
I do, but I sure don't trust my daughter.

>>43446885
She's a filly and being watched over by the local patriarchs. The fuck she gonna do?

>>43444329
just read through from the start. Great shit and really enjoying the story thus far

>>43446875
no. who the fuck would?

>>43442516
>>43446246
Considering the fimfiction page got nuked i doubt its gonna be finished. From what i remember from their blogs they were trying to rewrite it. Sad to see it missing on fimfiction cause thats how i first read it, and it was relatively popular so it had a lot of comments.

>>43447336
Wait why was it removed from fimfiction

>>43442361
>Dominant Posey
Unf

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>>43447336
>Considering the fimfiction page got nuked
Nigger, WHAT. Guess it's actually over, sad.

>>43447336
Propeller is all consuming.

>>43446875
Trying to think of if I'd let this fly with a little boy and a gaggle of broads and no, I don't believe so. That little filly's gonna get taught the gay or have her watch stolen by gypsies or something.

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>>43447946

>BE BEE
>BUZZ BUZZ BUZZ
>BUZZ BUZZ BUZZ
>BUZZ

>Be Pony.
>Those darn bees stung you again.
>You just wanted some honey for your stallion tea to surprise him with breakfast in bed.
>Like your mom always say 'a happy stallion is a happy home,' or something like that.
>You really need to get another mare into your relationship.

I just notice today that all human description make them as tall as an alicorn.
Why not make them smaller so they are at booping range for us mares when we need to stop their whimsy.

>>43449033
>sharing a head height with mares
FUND IT

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>>43449033
Skill issue.

>>43449033
Mare are for booping.

>>43449033
Have we ever have a hobbit-Anon?

>>43447450
>>43447709
Just checked the author (spooples) cause i forgot to last time, everything is gone. All their stories and blogs are removed but the account isn't striked out. So they removed it all themselves. They were online last friday tho. The other big one they did was "Rockets and Friendship" though that was prettty niche.

>>43448404
poor APA

>>43449745
Looks like the archive sites still have it.
https://foalfetch.net/story/499685

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>>43449745
>They were online last friday tho
Time to fire up the alt and poke the bear

>>43450326
>the alt
Use your main, coward

>>43449033
Because they're *little* ponies. Even a bigger little pony is still little.

>>43449084
Pegasi master race.

>>43446885
>>43447287
>>43448151
>>43446875
Would you join the patriarch cycle and look over couples children so the herds can have a nice dinner?

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>>43449745
I think they just deleted their account. And privated the paste. At least there are archives.

Hi Spooples! I know you're here! Why do you hate ponies so?

>>43451050
Oh, by the way, don't be afraid of responding. It's an anonymous forum (wow!) with literally no connection back to you since you are removing yourself from the internets.

>foid babymurder fetish hit the news cycle again
stallions would never

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>>43451050
Rip, sad to see them go. If you're here spooples we all really enjoyed your stories! Best of luck with your other writing ventures or whatever you do now

>>43451572
Having children really needs to be a point of pride again.
Although I do wonder if having help with the household is more normalized in RGRE, since herds would accrue more children more quickly with several females.
Also mares probably take more of a role in raising the children, due to the herd-mentality.

>>43452009
I suspect you'd get a bit more of a swap thing going on, since shortly after birth the foals are still nursing at the teat, so that's still maternal time with the other mares kind of covering for her absence from labor. After weaning it's off to dad for young foalhood raising, but that also means he's taking them at a slightly less demanding time. As they start to become more independent, it kind of depends on the specific society but I'd imagine the fillies would spend more mentorship time with their dams, perhaps learning the family business, while the colts will hang around the home with dad and help out.

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>>43451050
>>43451581
I'm getting flashbacks to NOF leaving us...
>>43446246
Why the fuck does Ponepaste even have a private paste option if they don't allow deleting pastes?
At least Ponebin archived everything on Ponepaste literally a week ago.
https://poneb.in/5508

>>43452061
>Why the fuck does Ponepaste even have a private paste option
I don't want you guys finding my new greens before they're ready.

Damn, all my stories got nuked. Oh well it's been 6 or 8 years.

I think an RGRE I would write would be pretty simple. The basis would be a simple but concrete reason why stallions are more valued. Perhaps an infection killed 99% of stallions, perhaps 99% of stallions died in a war, or, perhaps, there is just a slight biological difference where the femininity of ponies resulted in there being less and less stallions over time, and this didn't cause problems because 1 stallion could impregnate a herd of mares anyway. For my own tastes putting too much thought or effort into the basis of RGRE is missing the forest for the trees.

Subsequently, I notice a lot of critique of RGRE that goes along the lines that it consists of shallow social commentary. I think that is plausible if one is interested in applying value judgments to the RGRE situation, like seriously tackling whether a RGRE society is it better now that the roles are reversed, or any sort of hypocrisy which may be present, or stuff like that. After some consideration I would not have much of an interest in that myself. I would be focused purely on the plot level. It's likely I would less be imagining an alternate society with truly different values, and more the canon Equestria kind of coping with the situation. Rather than, say, and Applejack very concerned with mares being the one to pay for dinner or some such, it would just be Applejack doing Applejack things except also she has never met a stallion before in her life, or has so little experience she is more anxious and desperate around one.

I think I'm inclined towards HiE as well. Frankly, I have just never been able to get into any fimfic with a pony protagonist. It feels like a lot of immediately fun stuff in HiE (ponies reacting to humans, the culture clash, the isekai-esque specialness) is absent and it's replaced with like mundane descriptions of how weird it is to have hooves. I'm willing to have my mind changed if I ever come across a particularly good one. But regardless, my RGRE would likely be a HiE work for the double whammy of the female cast being romantically aggressive and just the stuff I like about a human protagonist being in Equestria.

This concludes my ted talk.

>>43452607
Why write a story when you can just talk about a story you could write?

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>>43452607
>Applejack has never met a stallion before
DYEWTS?

>>43452619
It only took a few minutes compared to months or years, after all.
>>43452628
I thought it would be obvious that in this scenario Big Mac would not exist. RGRE somewhat demands most male family members vanish.

>>43452631
Nah, it just means they have more female family members.

>>43452631
>Low time preference
NGMI

>>43452637
Yeah I spoke too soon. That's another possible interpretation. In my own conception of RGR stuff usually I imagine it comes from most men being gone, or having never been born. A heroine having spent most of her life around a male family member in a RGRE setting is less interesting to me. Then again it could be fun for Applejack to act like a wizened expert of stallions due to Big Mac but then actually end up being one of the least competent.

>>43452631
I've never read a single RGRE fic or greentext that outright removes Big Mac. I remember one that made a passing comment about Big Mac being female but that's about it. Besides, Applejack actually having a brother in an RGRE setting does allow for some interesting and/or fun scenarios. As a side note I would marry genderbent Big Mac in a heartbeat.

>>43452647
Fair enough. I only started reading these threads recently, so I don't know all of the customs like that.

Speaking of which, I read Preunification Anon right now and it was pretty impressive. The writing felt professional-level.

>>43452638
>>Low time preference
>NGMI
low time preference is the one that "work now, enjoy later" mentality
what's going on here is HIGH tome preference, i.e. complete disregard for long-term planning

>>43452684
>tome preference
I got a high tome preference, fuck scrolls, all my homies hate scrolls

>>43452684
I'm not sure an idle post made for fun is a complete disregard for long-term planning. Not like anyone here is maximally low time preference never doing anything with immediate gratification after all.

>>43452645
>Then again it could be fun for Applejack to act like a wizened expert of stallions due to Big Mac but then actually end up being one of the least competent.
Now you're thinking!

>>43452690
I was trying to explain the definition of time preferences to Anon, extrapolation was just used as an example
and yeah "low time preference" doesn't mean that it's 0

>Spooples
who? i've literally never heard of this guy before today
spoonfed me now
>>43452483
they did?

does anyone know any good RGREQG greens? Ever since i read dance on the mats i've been obsessed with it.

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>>43453148
I got you homie, I have a few good ones.
> https://pastebin.com/dDERNqJA
Giant Anon goes to the EQG after a bit of awfull time in pony world. More chapters in profile.
>https://poneb.in/mCkHFg26
Midnight survives the rainbow beam and gets stuck in Sci Twilight body. Peak honestly.
>https://poneb.in/J2n36ZFb
Sirens green, no Sunset
>https://pastebin.com/qM3C61jh
Sunset takes care of a sick Anon
>https://poneb.in/Tj5GVEYQ
More sirens green
>https://poneb.in/kB5j6gDq
Sirens Pack, like 15 chapters, just check the profile
>https://ponepaste.org/5681
The classic Sunset x Sirens Herd
>https://ponepaste.org/1067
A favorite, Ponk gf with Anon and cuddles

>>43453222
omg i left for awhile and just came back tysm.

>>43453222
Nice.

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>your mare has unhealthy eating habits
Wat du?

>>43454252
Make our lawn to resistible to pass up.

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>>43454252
I see no issue with this.

>>43454462
>Architecht Anon gets saddled with Anorexia Amre

>>43454292
I don't think a lawn can sustain a mare

But homemade food is the right answer.

>>43454507
>I don't think a lawn can sustain a mare
That's what I keep saying, but my mare insists that it'll work.

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>>43454467
>shes a little skinny
>and by a little skinny you mean her ribs are visible
>but she always wore a hoodie to hide it
>she is the life of the party though
>thats also where anon met her
>they hit it off
>start going out
>she barely eats at the restaurants
>anon realizes her face is sunken
>eventually sees her ribs one day
>invites her to his house
>begins to cook a lot of different things for her
>every time he makes something she can eat she can't eat it the next day
>anon works through hundreds of recipes and ingredients
>anon gets mad skillz at cooking trying to feed her
>he needs dem love handles
>eventually lands upon some recipes that she can tolerate
>then she starts to adore them
>starts to increase portion size by adding an extra bit of hay here and there
>other ponies comment on her appearance
>they say she looks happier and fuller
>anon meanwhile appreciates her noticeable curves
>one day the mare notices her hoodie is a bit too small
>he slowly reintroduces the "intolerable" ingredients
>she can eat those just fine
>anon keeps going
>mare starts to have prominent curves
>she doesnt wear her hoodie anymore
>anon appreciates it even more
>the big test is going out to a restaurant
>they both go and sit
>after some flirting the food is delivered
>anon watches in suspense
>she can eat it
>that night anon enjoys his work
>big love handles and blazing warmth on a winter night
>she's the perfect size

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>>43454628
>anon's mare starts to notice her size in comparison to other mares in the town
>anon also notices her noticing
>he can see the seeds of self consciousness being planted in her head
>anon rushes to open a restaurant
>puts all his mad cooking skillz to the test
>restaurant becomes popular
>good prices, great food
>anon introduces a two for one deal
>double the food for everypony if you bring two others
>ponies start to flock into his restaurant
>they dont mind eating more than they do because the food is so good
>some of the menu is replaced with fried food
>one day anon's mare leaves some food on the plate
>anon uses the funds from the restaurant to launch a deliver to your door food service
>quadruples his cooking staff
>buys out every local farmers' stock
>imported food and market prices skyrocket
>every pony in the town starts to buy anon's service
>anon personally makes the mayor food so he can keep his monopoly
>ponies in anon's town start to get a little bigger
>his mare is still leaving food on the plate
>more so, this time
>anon locates and buys out an entire corn farm
>hires some chemists to process it into a syrup
>soda is now introduced into equestria
>each meal comes with a complimentary 16 oz cup of soda
>cherry flavored
>by now most of the menu consists of hayburgers, fried oats, hayfries, soda, pies, and cakes
>anon starts to package most of the foods into shelf stable units
>has to triple the size of his restaurant and double his staff to produce the units
>buys the ex-market and ex-grocery buildings
>they stock only anon's food
>a week passes
>the ponies in anon's towns are now nice and plump
>anon's mare eats her normal portions that he makes for her
>she's the perfect size

>>43454628
>>43454700
Ah yes, the nuclear option

>>43454700
How plump is too plump for a man?

here's some autistic thoughts I've been having about RGRE:
Would it make more sense to date a less desirable mare?
>be male
>from a world where males are usually the "persuer"s in relationships
>be single
>this means that you're effectively an failure in reproduction lottery
>suddenly get transported into a world where pursuers are female
>...that also have failures
>that you can easily help by engaging with
is dating a marecel the least selfish option one could make?

>>43455516
"Sense" of that nature will be discarded the second an extremely hot high-class mare asks for your dick

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>>43454700
>an outside regular sized visitor shatters the illusion
>the town stallions realize they are not the petite form they were before
>they are suddenly disgusted by their mares and anon's food
>the mares dont really care about being fat
>still the stallions begin to conspire together to lose weight
>and to eventually get their mares in proper fit and finish
>but stallions first
>after five days of bickering and harumphing the stallions split into two camps to resolve their problem
>the starvation camp and the somehowsneakcheapbuthealthyfoodintotown camp
>the starvation camp went off without a hitch
>they simply stopped eating and waited for their body to consume the fat
>issue was the smell of anon's crispy food in the air
>some of them resort to eating a little bit of anon's food to sate their hunger
>a few caved in and went back to chowing down on the food
>the remainder were very very hungry
>the imnottypingthatagain camp went off with a hitch
>they have no idea how to smuggle in food
>so the best course of action was to obviously enter the scary forest to scavenge for food
>less than five minutes elapsed before they discarded the plan
>both camps became one again and entered another phase of whinnying
>after another week or two of gaining weight the stallions finally figured a solution
>the gym
>the plan was simple: eat not as much food and do infinite cardio
>easier said than done
>week one was a lot of complaining and whining
>week two was the same thing, except a lot more of it
>week three had a tiny bit less
>week four another skinny visitor arrived
>the mere sight of the well toned stallion with a digusted look on his face was enough
>week five there was no more complaining
>every stallion was doing the cardio
>anon gets a whiff of this
>puts them off because theyre stallions
>week eight the stallions have actually lost significant weight
>stallions initiate plan talk to mares to make them lose tons of weight
>the sight of some mares doing runs and the general increase of activity at the gym alarms anon

>>43455519
>he doesn't find all mares hot
>he cares about his mare's social status
ngmi

>>43455525
>anon's mare begins to nootice the gym
>anon sends his Anon's Scrumptilicious Food!™ death squads after the stallions
>all the squads fail to capture any of the stallions because of their weight
>they change to static targets
>the death squads take down the gym and replace it with another happiness fulfilment center
>the weightlosseteers begin to build underground gyms to continue their holy workout ritual
>many are discovered as the they have no idea to build stuff
>and their mares arent in the right shape to help either
>those discovered are sent to The Table
>piles and piles of food are served to them
>they have to eat all the fries
>some attempt to escape the town
>no passenger trains are available because all the traffic is taken by freight ingredient deliveries
>so they have to move on foot
>not an issue for the cardio focused weightlosseteers
>these stallions choose to leave their fat mares behind in search of lighter fields
>the closest town is about 50 miles away
>the only food they have are the shelf stable food units
>in accordance to their commandment they only take a small amount so they can lose weight on the way there
>they only make it 15 miles before they run out of food
>turns out trotting on perfectly paved roads burns less energy than navigating the wilderness
>forced to turn back they are caught by the death squads
>anon constructs massive walls around the town
>the mayor is in a constant state of food coma to do anything
>eventually all the weightlosseteers are fed
>she's the perfect size

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>>43455516
Autistic Anon x Meek Mare is OTP.

>I'm going to subject a harem of women to a humiliating change I fetishize!
>then kill all the men to keep all the women to myself!!
This really is the dumping ground for every nigga's unrelated fetish

>>43455995
You mean the feeder? I was trying to just ignore him.

>>43456031
Yeah fair point, lost my composure there

>>43456064
Nah, it's cool. That guy is messed up.

>You are beautiful. You would be even more beautiful if you eat these 10,000 pies.
>Your joints ache. You are out of breath just existing. You can not wipe. You are perfect.

Yeah, I don't see the appeal of his fetish, either.

>>43456069
I mean he can go ahead and have the fetish all he wants, but like..where's the RGRE?

>>43455730
minmaxing autism in one's children might actually be illegal in a world where autism is magic

>>43456132
What an autistic earth pony will do? Conquer the world with veggies and flowers?

>>43456139
Anon, do you know what Pinkie Pie is?

>>43455516
>>43455519
You date marecels because you're insecure and want to hold all the power in the relationship.
I date marecels because hnnnng stinky unwashed nerd pussy.
We are not the same.

>>43456158
No. Do you?

>>43456578
>You date marecels because you're insecure and want to hold all the power in the relationship.
you make a rather bold presumption about my wife choices

>>43456597
me neither
and that's the problem

if just a small drop of ADHD is able to bend reality who knows what minmaxed autism might do
>insert "FloorB is a cosmic horror" green yes, it's a real thign

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>>43455995
>>43456069
Don't try to understand.

>>43456578
What if I want to date a marecel to show her that she's loved and can be better than herself?

>>43456578
What if I want to date a marecel because I hope she's secretly the most misandrist pony in Equestria and that's my fetish?

>>43456578
I like to imagine that there is, buried deep, the remnant of a fantasy of actually being a highly desirable prize presenting yourself to someone whose league you're out of with all sincerity and confidence in submission to bask in the glow of their wonder - to be a ten and melt some solid-3's fucking neurons by making them win the lottery, however unsustainable that fantasy would be irl.
But you can tell that's not really the fantasy here when you read how most anons write it. Knowingly or not, they simply recreate traditional gender roles through it. Male confidence is never written as an invitation to claim, always an act of claiming. Like watching a beaver in captivity put sticks in your bathtub, we regress to familiarity.

>>43456631
I do understand, that's why I so repulsed.

>>43457139
>however unsustainable that fantasy would be irl.
It's actually the other way around apparently, relationships between people with a gap in attractiveness are apparently a lot more stable. Although that's probably largely due to survivorship bias.

>>43457139
>they simply recreate traditional gender roles through it. Male confidence is never written as an invitation to claim, always an act of claiming.
The thing is Anon is from a world of traditional gender roles. It's natural for him to try to claim a female. Most Anons here wouldn't write or read a story where the mc is a sub unless you're into that.

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>writing a book in Equestria
>genuinely just throw every idea you have at the plotline
>barely cohesive shitstorm of barely disguised fetish writing
>book doesnt sell all that well, and you can't tell if it's because you wrote about Filly Island or Luna executing griffons with her fat ass

>>43457407
>Luna
>her fat ass
Pick one

>>43457293
It is kind of odd how there really aren't any stories with an Anon that really embraces the reversed norms and goes full tradcolt. Plenty of examples where Anon plays that role in order to use sexism to his advantage, but I can't really think of any where he decides "yeah fuck it I'll sit here, look pretty, and let myself be wooed for a change".

>>43457779
I want to write one where Anon goes full RGRE, but I don't think I can do it without introducing my crossdressing fetish.

>>43457801
Do it anyway, what's the worst that'll happen? It's not like this general can get more gay.

I want to get claimed by a mare wearing a short skirt.

>>43457928
It’s called a kilt, a traditional outfit from my homeland.
>”Whatever you say cutie. Unf!”

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>tfw you hear a sexist """joke"""

>>43458647
Autumn is a misandrist.

>>43458798
Please, nonny, Autumn by herself already gets me so erect

>>43458798
She respects stallions so much it wraps back around to being sexist.

>>43458821
Isn't that just simping?

>>43458981
no it's different
it's the genuine belief that stallions are equal if not better to mares
and all stallions fail this standard
so she hates all stallions for not living up to her ideal
it's a purer and more personal form of sexism than the normal sexist mare kind

>>43458647
4'6" stallionist, btw

>>43459092
Is that at the withers?
And that should be 13.2 HH

>>43459044
Sounds like she just hates kirin males since they all look like mares and do the same shit in the same village. She'd get wet for an Equestrian stallion on the spot.

I want a green of colts being grossed by filly playing in the mud or catching frogs.

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>>43459551
grrrr FINE. I'll add ANOTHER green to the list!

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>>43459551
Fillies showing off the coolest sticks they found (and fought each other with).
Remembering a simpler time.

>>43442516
>>43447336
just read through it and DAMN its good.

thanks for mentioning it, anon. reading it was a joy.

im a bit suprised a cursory search revealed no fanart or anything... i expected at least a depiction of lucky favor SOMEWHERE. i'm half tempted to search through the archives, but i'm new to the board and have no idea if /mlp/ is archived anywhere. is there an archive? i dont think preunification is linked in the OP, where would other similar fics be linked?

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>>43459700
>reading it was a joy
And now you will know the joy of it not being finished and being disowned by its creator
>is there an archive?
Of course not! Why would someone archive a shithole like this EVER? Only a madman would do such a terrible thing
>i dont think preunification is linked in the OP
You should read the OP again (hint: it's there)

>>43459989
yeah, i've been taking the time to look through stuff like the archives (which i somehow miraculously managed to miss across half of the OPs on the board) more in depth. sucks that preunification anon seems to have been scrubbed. 150k+ words of interesting setup and development... probably because i'm used to elsewhere, but i'd expect there to be a drawing of lucky favor SOMEWHERE for something of such quality and length. nada and nil ive been able to find across the whole internet. :(

good thing i don't have anything important to do, ill be living a very happy life if i can find fics like these that are actually complete. much to see in the OP... i do kind of get the impression from the mlp fics ive read that preunification anon is unusually high quality, but i'm not sure if that matches up to reality or not.

i'd still rather it exist in this state than never have been at all, but it still sucks that it's probably never getting finished.

The archives for the fimfic version of Preunification Anon are fucked.

>>43460079
Seems fine on fimfetch, though i heard the ponepaste got privated if your meaning that.
>>43460014
Yeah preunification anon was generally higher tier than most. Another fic im sad is in hiatus hell is Changing Views with a human as changeling and getting help from daring do. Not rgre but gave me a similar feeling when i realized it probably wont update again.

The big 2 rgre stories, "The Long and Short of it" and "Everyday Life with Royal Guardsmares", are pretty good if you're looking for long reads. The first has been a little slow on updates recently, while the second is on hiatus (i forgot if something happened to their pc or not). Both are under bobbles in fimfiction, where he does the translation into prose. Haven't read "A Little Spark" in a bit but i remember it being a decent long read.

Was searching ponepaste and found this neat little one shot. Uses post it notes to tell its story, which is neat but a little confusing at first when your learning the names.
https://ponepaste.org/4612

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>>43455528
>anon's mare wants to visit canterlot
>anon knows the underweight stallions there are the prissy kind
>mares included
>grabs his marketer and a bunch of the town's stallions
>slips a bunch of bits under the desk to prominent canterlot tabloids
>sends them a giant photo album of his town's stallions to work with
>while the tabloids are working on their new editions anon starts to buy large warehouses and buildings in canterlot
>shelf stable food units start being stockpiled at these locations
>these units are catered towards the canterlot diet
>canterlot is way bigger than anon's town however
>he goes to Anon's Scrumptilicious Food!™ Relish & Dills Center
>the heaviest unicorns work there
>so heavy that they can't walk anymore
>they are the bleeding edge of golemancy
>each household essentially has a golem whose only purpose is to deliver shelf stable food units
>pentuples his workforce with golems
>all the land within a 20 mile radius of the town is converted to farmland
>an entire river was also rerouted for water
>golems work the fields 24/7
>ingredient output is decupled
>stops freight imports
>begins freight exports
>bombards the farms who he once ordered from with six times their volume
>including non local farms
>collapses the price for ingredients
>buys out the farms
>replaces the entire workforce with golems
>deliveries to canterlot are slowly marked up
>restaurants have to do more with lower quality ingredients
>stores start to increase prices
>a week of stockpiling and propaganda later the happiness fulfilment centers are active
>the food is good
>delivery is fast
>anon pays some influencer stallions to write reviews of his product
>all of them are beamingly positive
>the tabloids release their first wave of magazines

>>43460127
>they froth at the mouth about how the maretriarchy is the reason for stallions being so slimmed down
>it writes that stallions are forced to exercise every day (fact checked: true)
>they have to go on strict diets to maintain their form (fact checked: true)
>those who fall out of line are publicly shamed (fact checked: true)
>mares have less expectations than stallions (fact checked: true)
>famous stallions have to go through almost torturous daily regimes to maintain their form just to be a piece of eye candy for mares (fact checked: true)
>why do other stallions have to look up to these stallions who have mare managers? (fact checked: true)
>stallion beauty standards have been controlled by mares for too long (fact checked: true)
>stallions should be free (fact checked: true)
>thicker stallions come out of the woodwork
>they start berating normal sized stallions for talking down
>domino affect
>more and more stallions begin to loosen their belts and let their manes go free
>canterlot's restaurants and grocers start to feel an even bigger squeeze as import prices keep climbing
>Anon's Scrumptilicious Food!™ becomes well established and known as a good alternative to eating out
>especially at the current food prices
>weight positive magazines finally being distribution
>"You're not fat, you're big boned!"
>"You are beautiful."
>"Size doesn't matter."
>its the talk of the city
>mares rise up to their stallions losing their prim
>celestia is obviously interested in the new fad
>and the sudden appearance of Anon's Scrumptilicious Food!™ happiness fulfilment centers
>anon sends her a few cakes to try
>she loves them
>addicted even
>luna on the other hoof is combative
>she joins the mares in hating how the stallions are getting thicker
>demands reformation and a ban for Anon's Scrumptilicious Food!™
>sends out teams of bat pony investigators
>anon has operation bananas go active
>extra cake deliveries personally made by anon are sent to celestia
>stallions are encouraged to write to celestia how luna is discriminatory
>just like how she hated how the ponies slept during the night
>this time its hating on the stallion race as a whole
>she's a danger to society
>celestia in a cake induced state sends worst princess to the moon
>investigators are caught by Anon's Scrumptilicious Food!™ Joy Teams and sent to The Table
>whoa nelly is set at center stage to be the epitome of mareliness
>pushed forward by tabloids and lobbied nobility
>she shows other mares that stallions cant one up them on chubbiness
>mares start to eat more
>restaurants and grocery stores are completely squeezed out by anon
>the only food available is his
>a week later anon and his mare visit
>it goes perfectly well
>she's happy to see all the sights and culture of canterlot
>she's still the perfect size

>>43460125
Did you try reading past the first chapter? The epub and txt are fucked, too. Foalfetch seems to have everything, but the consolidated txt and epubs skip the first chapter.

>>43460125
I remember reading that as it was first being posted. Man. I miss Enganon....

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>>43444329
"And you're sure that thing found something in this?" You ask
>"Twilight!?" Celestia says your name with shocked surprise and disapproval
>You bite your lip at her admonishment
"Sorry, Princess." You hurriedly add. "I just meant- I'm sorry- so, Prince Anonymous, said he found something?"
>You are Twilight Sparkle
>And this is all very exciting, worrying, and confusing
>Medical science and magic aren't quite your area of expertise, but you've always been interested
>Like everypony, you're also quite familiar with Foal's Breath
>Your family was lucky to not suffer from it, but you've heard of cases, and seen some too
>So you were ecstatic when Princess Celestia came to you, asking for any insight you might be able to glean from what Pale Pulse brought with her
>You were thankful for the distraction from the small Changeling invasion going on
>Of course, you'd never call it that in front of her
>But you could think it
>Then to top off this whole thing, you'd been told that, before his departure, Prince Anonymous had looked over the research himself
>And apparently found something
>You're not entirely sure what to make of the Prince
>You don't trust him, that much is for certain
>And thankfully, this time, all your friends are behind you
>Though Rarity was, as she admitted, slightly charmed by him during the dinner
>Meanwhile Fluttershy was, unsurprisingly, more willing to give him a chance and the benefit of the doubt than the rest of you
>Yet despite this, both mares swore to follow your lead, acknowledging that a Changeling couldn't be trusted
>But that was what caused your brain to spark up in interest
>He wasn't a Changeling
>Something called a Human instead
>A bonafide alien
>While Rainbow Dash had gotten slightly excited at the prospect, she was also slightly drunk at the dinner
>Slightly, being an understatement
>She's still hiding in her room after implying that Fluttershy and Rarity should bed him
>It hadn't taken long for you all to hear the threat Chrysalis had openly made about if another mare said anything similar
>At least she had the decency to be embarrassed
>Hopefully you could also convince her to apologize
>She didn't even have to mean it
>This whole thing just needed to be smoothed over while peace talks continued
>You know Chrysalis is planning something
>But it'd go easier if she were stuck in Canterlot so you could figure her out and stop her here, while she's isolated
>Even that thought gave you worry
>She only has four changeling drones as backup and her magicless, alien "son"
>But still she walks the Castle as if she's already won
>It was infuriating
>Of course, her infinite love source in her son was a major source of these concerns
>You just needed to figure him out too
>Why did he see her as a mother?
>He seemed almost... scholarly to you when you spoke, for as brief as it was
>It was almost a shame he was stuck under Chrysalis' hoof

>>43460393
>Some smaller part of you speaks up that it's a shame that he's only interested in nobility during his visit
>You shake that thought from your mind and bury your nose back in the book Pale Pulse had given
>Everything seems to be in order
>Foal's Breath progressing as it normally does, accounting for the anomalous mutation that recently developed where it's begun infecting grown ponies
>Symptom maturation
>Linear propagation curves
>Allowance of closeness between families
>The natural flow of magic from biological sources helped keep a ponies innate magic strong to fight the disease
>What could he have possibly seen that you're not?
>Clearly he misconstrued something
>Or you did, a tiny voice in the back of your head says
>You groan and scrunch your muzzle
"You said he went to Canterlot General?" You ask, and Celestia turns from her conversation with the nurse
>Both nod
>"I sent him with Sergeant Silver Crest and Private Iron Shield. He said he needed more information to confirm his theory."
"You mean he's visiting the archives down there?" Your brows furrow in a mix of surprise and disbelief
>If they were anything like the Ponyville General archives they'd be expansive
>Moreso, due to the difference in the discrepancy between Ponyville's century of existence compared to Canterlot's millenia
>Again, the Princess nods
>"I have begun to worry though." Celestia admits. "He's been gone for hours."
"Are the archives small?" You ask, confused
>"Oh, no." Celestia shakes her head. "The entirety of the original building was repurposed to house all the records, it would certainly take time to go through it all, I just..."
"Wasn't expecting that kind of diligence from a Changeling?" You ask
>"Twilight." Celestia gives you another disapproving look
>You partially shrink under the look, but you can't hold it back anymore
"Princess, I'm sorry, but this is Chrysalis. CHRYSALIS!" You exclaim. "You can't trust her, let alone her son, certainly not with information on Foal's Breath!"
>"Twilight, for this peace to work-"
"This peace is never going to work because Chrysalis doesn't want it to!" You try to argue.
>"Twilight Sparkle!" A glare flashes on her face, but only for a minute, before it falls to a motherly grimace as she kneels down to you and cups your cheek
>You had flinched from the look
>It had been a long, long time since she'd looked at you like that
>But you still press into her touch
>"Twilight, I know this is difficult for you..." Celestia says. "For you and Cadance both, I'm not blind to that."
"I would never say-"
>She tuts you lightly to silence you as she continues
>"Chrysalis has done us great harm, I know. But Luna did the same during her time as Nightmare Moon. I can't lay claim to the idea of believing in friendship if I'm not willing to give it a chance with anypony..." She says sadly
"Even if that pony is Chrysalis?" You ask, worried that you already know the answer

>>43460394
>She nods "Even if that pony is Chrysalis." She then stands back to her full height. "Now, have you found anything?"
You let out a long, drawn out noise, "Uuuuum- maybe?" You give a telling smile
>Celestia sighs and nods
>"Still, I should send a detachment of guards to Canterlot General to check on the status of the Prince. It's a miracle I've been able to keep his absence from the Castle from Chrysalis for this long."
"Wait, she doesn't know-?" You ask before voices make your ears twitch towards the door
>"Chrysalis! I need you to return to your room"
<>
>"Queen Chrysalis, please, Day Court has yet to adjourn." A guards mare says
>With a flick of your horn you lift her off her hooves and flick her to the side
>No injuries
>No slamming her into the wall
>For as much as your blood boils and your chitin itches to
>You simply moved her as to not break your stride
>There was no point in even acknowledging her words
>It had been hours
>Long enough that surely they would have broken away for food
>Your son was diligent, brilliant and a quick study
>But you doubt he would have Celestia's ear wrapped around his fingers so easily and so soon
>Had you decided to have him pursue her you imagine it would take a full year before he would begin to make cracks in her composure
>No
>Something's wrong
>And you will know what
>Carapace and Gossamer buzzed above you, deterring any pegasi guards from attempting to pin you in
>Meanwhile your own personal guards in Beetle and Exo flank you
>Each of Anonymous' siblings let out regular hisses
>They feel what you feel
>There's a tension in the air
>Not just from your presence in the halls
>It runs deeper than that
>Since your meeting with Cadance things in the castle have shifted
>A lesser creature might not have been able to tell
>But you could taste it
>Every time a maid came to "check" on your entourage
>Personal messengers from Celestia bringing you "updates" from how Court was progressing
>You could almost lunge and eat the lie out from their chest that they hid behind their omissions
>Now you are done waiting for the truth
>Like tearing a rotted root out from soil you will expose whatever Celestia is hiding from you
>"Chrysalis!" A voice of an old familiar flame greets you as you reach where you'd left the Court. "I need you to return to your room"
You let out a coo. "Awww, will you be escorting be back, Shiny~" You mock out his pet name Cadance uses
>"Chrysalis!" Speaking of the pink-coated brat, she's beside her husband. "You had an agreement with Celestia."
"My son should have departed from your Court for food some time ago." You argue
>Shining Armor speaks up next. "The two had something small in the throne room. Today's been more hectic than usual and Celestia wanted to address as many ponies as possible."
"And you would have me believe my son cares so much about how a pony's flowers got trampled? Or whatever sordid affairs you bring before her?" You question with a glare

>>43460396
>"I'll ignore that, for the sake of this peace." Shining says, as if reminding you of your reason here. "As for your son, as Captain of the guard, it's not my place to question Royalty."
"Oh, really?" You ask in a sickly sweet tone. "And, as a Prince, what DO you question, Shining Armor?" Your eyes almost glow with the vitriol you feel
>"Whether he cares at all." He snips back, unflinching in the face of you or your drones. "I'd also imagine he's just learning as much as he can to bring back to you."
>Cadance doesn't say anything, but at Shining's words, she stands a little straighter, and smirks a little wider at you
>The worst part of this
>Of all of it
>Is that you can't hear the lie in his words
>As far as he's concerned, everything out of his mouth is true
>When you know it's not
>It's infuriating
>You lean forward again, almost muzzle to muzzle with the stallion you're intimately familiar with and your eyes search his
"You would make a good changeling." You say in a low hiss through a smirk that coil curdle milk
>He balks at your words, worry and horror flash across his face while Cadance is furious
>You use that lapse to flare your horn to life, in a pulse of your beautifully putrid magic you warp through the Castle and end up on the other side of the door
>With a whip around of your head, you identify everypony in the room
>Princess Celestia and Twilight Sparkle most notably of all
>Half a dozen guards, and some unimportant, gaunt, pale mare cowering at the mere sight of you
>But there's no sign of your son
>You round on Celestia, eye level with her and growl
"Where?"
>One word
>That’s all you need
>At least your enemy has the decency to not act stupid
>She sighs, clearly ready to lay everything out
>"Chrysalis!" Sadly her student does not share her wisdom. "You can't just barge in here withou-!"
"YOU WILL BE SILENT!" You roar at the small unicorn
>Her horn immediately lights up, the guards draw their weapon, and Shining and Cadance finally burst into the room
>Your drones are quick to follow and swarm around you defensively
>The only mare in this room who is undeterred by the breaking of your composure is Celestia
>She really is your only equal in this entire fetid country
>You turn your back on the purple unicorn, happy to offend her with your disinterest and lack of concern at the idea of her attacking you
>In the midst of this maelstrom of magic and tension drawn taut, you and Celestia stand alone
>Her smouldering glare burns like fire, while yours bubbles, caustic and raw
>With just a raise of her hoof, her ponies relax one by one
>Shining is the first, dutiful to the end, he obeys immediately, and the guards follow their Captain's example
>He really is not unlike a drone
>Cadance relaxes last, or, rather, second to last
>Twilight still has a spell trained on you
>It doesn't take much
>You filter your ambient magic through the air around her horn and can already identify what the spell entails

>>43460399
>And you already have a counter spell brewing at the base of your horn before it even glows
>Of course, Celestia doesn't allow any harm to befall her student
>She only briefly breaks her eye contact with you to shoot a glance at Twilight
>That is finally enough to make the mare relax and quiet her magic
>Celestia returns her gaze to you, and the air almost immediately turns electric
>You've always thought it to be a shame that your species can only feed on love
>The emotions sparking through the air are like an enticing spice
>You say nothing, but the narrowing of your eyes finally has Celestia sigh
>"He's not here." She admits
"Swine!" You hiss and your changelings rear into the air glaring at the ponies surrounding. "You did not think to tell me that he had left!?"
>"It was an emergency, and he offered his services-" Celestia tries to explain
"Lies!" Your hoof comes down hard on the marble floor, enough to crack it. "My son would never offer his services to you so freely."
>"Are we not pursuing peace?" Celestia says, trying to flip the questioning on you
"Do not think me some addlepated fool, Celestia!" You growl as you prowl the room. "I allow you the privilege of my son's unattended presence, and hours later I find you have hid him from me!? And you only inform me because I hunt you for the information as your lickspittles dare deceive me!"
>You turn your ire briefly to Shining Armor who shuffles only briefly on his hooves before reaffirming his stance
>With a buzz of your wings you hover above Celestia and press a hard hoof to her peytral
"I will have my answer, Celestia! Do not think I will not tear your Canterlot apart to find him."
>"That's a threat-" Shining begins.
"HE! IS! MINE!" You roar at the stallion. "I will not let this insult stand!"
>"Canterlot General." Celestia's voice cuts through the tension finally, and your head snaps around to look at her
>You allow the first full breath to fill your lungs and your building anger to simmer
"Explain." You press the situation
>You know the where
>But you will know the why before this is over
>"We..." She stops, as if hesitant to continue. "Are currently dealing with an epidemic. One we'd hoped we'd left behind. Your son, upon reading some of the data collected from it, believed he saw a pattern emerge."
"But any solution to an epidemic of the scale you're referring would not be verifiable through one data source." You continue, already finding your son's train of thought
>It was as if it were your own
>Celestia only nods. "It was a rash, hasty decision, I admit."
>She lets her head bow, from the neck, no lower, and you hear it draw a gasp from Twilight and Cadance, and you smirk as you feel the glares of her guards and Twilight
>Though it is disappointing, she lowers only enough to be apologetic, instead of submissive
>How you long to see that day in particular
>But you refocus on the matter of your son

>>43460401
>"It was a decision made with the worry of the health of my subjects in my heart. I hope you can understand, Chrysalis." Celesita offers pitifully
>You scoff at her words and walk a few paces to collect your thoughts
>Doubtless your son is researching this disease as thoroughly as possible
>With the information in hoof, you could synthesize a transformation specifically for producing a cure
>Something to hold over their heads during your negotiations
>You let the barest flicker of a smirk pulls at the corner of your lips
>He really has grown to be brilliantly duplicitous
>Now he need only deliver a falsehood to Celestia and the truth to you
>Still, his departure without your leave irritates you
>He always does this
>Gets so close to being the perfect Prince you've moulded him to be
>Then he slips up on small matters such as this
>You really do hate how he forces you to discipline him so
>With the room having been left in a suitable stew of tension from your silence, you turn to Celestia again
"Why was I not informed of his traversal from the Castle grounds?" You ask with a small glare
>"I wished for him to depart as soon as possible," Celestia explains, "to ensure he had the most amount of time possible to consult the records."
"It is insulting that he left with your guards and not his own!" You snap at her
>"Yeah!" Gossamer says above you
>With a growl, your magic enshrouds her, pins her wings and pulls her down to eye level with your glare
>She immediately snaps her mandibles shut and shrinks
>In silence, she hovers back up as you release her
>The ponies do not think to dare question how you handle your own subjects
>Not verbally anyway, but you see it in their eyes
>The disgust
>Good
>Let them hate you
>"Things are already tense enough as it is with your presence, Chrysalis." Celestia reminds. "I wanted to avoid an incident by sending your changeling guards with him to the hospital. My own guards will keep him safe and return him soon." Her voice softens to one meant to reassure you. "I imagine he is merely lost in his diligence with this task."
>You scoff at her tone and only just stop yourself from spitting out the disgust that builds in your craw from her words
"I," you state firmly, "will pull him from his work, myself. Clearly you can not be trusted with him behind my back."
>You choose your words carefully
>All the care for your son
>But making it clear to Celestia that, in this game of chess she thinks she's hiding from you in her play, she has erred
>In a sudden burst of magic, a guardsmare, gray coat and typical armor appears in the room, panting heavily
>"Ah, see." Celestia says, as if presenting the mare. "Nothing to fret over, this is Private Iron Shield, one of the guards I sent with your son. No doubt she has returned with-"
>"P- Princess!" The mare sputters out through breath
>Your nose twitches and flinches back from that smell
>Bitter in your nostrils
>Was that... smoke?

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>>43460404
>Your eyes widen in tension as you glare down at the mare
>"Hurry! Quick!" She says through panting breaths. "It's the-" She freezes in place as she sees you
>True, raw fear paralyzes her
>"Iron Shield!" Celestia hurries to the guard mare's side. "What happened!? What's wrong?"
>"The..." She stutters out. "The hospital's on fire..."
>"Where is Anonymous?" Celestia asks the words that choke the air from your throat. "Where is the prince?"
>"Silv- Silver Crest was-"
>Another flash and burst of magic brings another mare to the room
>She has a haunted, far off stare
>For a moment, she turns to Celestia, then to you, then the pendant in her hoof
>"I... I had to teleport here from the exodus room, Princess." Her words are mechanical, scripted
>A soldier in shock
>She looks to you, and you almost sneer at her pitiful tears
>"The prince-" She chokes out through sobs. "The prince... he's still..."
>Not pitiful
>Pitying
>Pitying you
>For what?
>"I tried to..." She gasps, then clutches a pendant to her chest. "But he- he-" She breaks into sobs and eeks out. "He's still trapped there..."
>Pitying you
>For your loss
>Your blood curdles in your veins
>A breathless gasp leaves you as a hiss at a pitch they can't hear builds in your throat
>Celestia is trying to calm you
>Cadance is shrinking away from you
>With a breath you let out a shriek that pins every ear to the heads of every pony
>The glass of the opulent throne room crack and shatter as you race through the air
>Your changelings fade into the distance, even as they surely all but break their wings in an attempt to keep up with you
>With a buzz you'd not had in them for years, your wings fly you across the city, and your magic pulses around you
>You fly through the city like a bile green comet
>Amplifying your speed with all your might
>Fuelled by the countless times you'd fed on your son's love
>A reserve you refuse to lose
>Not him
>Not your son

https://ponepaste.org/10443#2258

>>43460408
At least he doesn’t have to go far to be checked into the hospital.

>>43460408
welcome back, sunn

>>43460125
>The big 2 rgre stories
>"Everyday Life with Royal Guardsmares"
Wat. It's not RGRE. It's still a good read though.
>while the second is on hiatus (i forgot if something happened to their pc or not)
TMFAT is busy with life shit. You can check his Fimfic blog.

>>43460885
>It's not RGRE.
It is, it's just the "RGRE?" type of RGRE

>>43460909
No, it's not even close. The main characters are just guardsmares because of le plot. There's only just a bit more mares in the military than usual. That's it.

>>43460980
>Writefags don't know what RGRE really is example #19835672453
I really don't get how it's so hard. There was a chance for the mares to say some sexist shit about the stallion that challenges Anon and they didn't even do that.

>>43460987
TMFAT isn't even writing RGRE it's just one Anon who thinks RGRE = harem.

>>43460998
>it's just one Anon
Anon, I...

I want a mare to teach me self defence, not going easy on me, getting me fit and having cuddles after bandaging all our bruises.

Woops thought ELwRG was rgre, maybe i conflated it with "long and short of it" cause it was under bobbles. Could have sworn there was moments where anons position as royal engineer was doubted or questioned cause he was a guy, and didnt the thestrals have a culture thing with stallions? I probably just overlapped "Follows a Little Spark" engineer anon like a dumbass tho.

This is what happens when you recommend fics you havent read in awhile lol.

>>43461524
How to get a social worker called on you 101

>>43460998
>>43461183
Are there greens where Anon has to struggle with his herd/partner making (stupid) decisions over his head?

>>43462472
Not really, he's taller then almost every mare.

>>43462472
yes

>>43462074
Great, we can practice on them.

>>43463090
Everybody is kungfu fighting!

School crushes must be extra complicated in RGRE. Every colt would have several admirers causing the fillies to try and one up eachother. Mixing this with the extreme stupidity of puberty and the kids also trying to figure out herding for the first time, hoers-highschool muss be absolute chaos.

>>43463647
-AND IF YOU SEE STACY BUCKBALL HERO IN THE HALL TELL HER GREAT GAME TELL HER YOU LIKED HER ARTICLE IN THE SCHOOL PAPER!

>>43463647
>Not trying to fuck the teacher
ngmi

In real life, men aren't really supposed to show emotions other than anger. Does this hold true for mares in RGRE, or does the touchy feely nature of ponies prevent that?

>>43463858
You're supposed to hide the nasty emotions and show the nice emotions you have (or pretend to have). This bottling of emotions is why so many mares turn into evil demons.

>>43463858
>or does the touchy feely nature of ponies prevent that?
They constantly cry in the show. Go figure.

>>43464005
FiM is considered woke in Equestria

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>>43464011
It did get woke in S8. :^)
At least we got kirins and cute BG mares out of it...

>>43464038
>At least we got creatures

>>43464041
Fuck you 鬼婆 I'll rape your husband

>>43463647
>tfw a filly for every period
lord take me

>>43464046
Good work 同志! +200 social credit points were added to your credit score!

>>43460408
>Make your emergency love ration be your adopted heir because you're too much of a small-teated boomer to pass on the torch to a younger mare
>Take him to the enemy capital and literally tell everypony who'd listen that this freaky monkey stallion is the lifeline of your hive, and it'd be an existential crisis if anything happened to him
Chrysalis would have no one to blame but herself if the ponies took Anon hostage. Shame Celestia is too nice.

>>43464680
Chrysalis never was very smart.

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Playing Kenshi has taught me that the Holy Nation is right about stallions. They need to be locked up and used as breeders more than anything else!

>>43462074
I actually knew a chick who was really into fencing, went to the ER for something with her bf, and they got detained for ages because she had so many cuts and bruises they were all convinced he was abusing her and weren't convinced by "I just swordfight a lot" as an excuse.

>>43464891
>Anon gets drunk in Horse Bad Teeth
>Goes up to the palace to give the local bigwigs a piece of his mind cause this place sucks and the mares dressed up in orange prison uniforms won't stop harassing him about this bullshit prayer day
>Holy Lady Phoenix realizes that the weird monkey talking to her is male and has an (entirely canon) crying hysterical fit that one of Narkomare Moon's floozies is talking to her (AIEEEEEE PALADINS SAVE ME)
>Anon fights his way out with the hysterical leader of the bucketheads tucked under his arm like a football and occasionally taking advantage of her 85 toughness and masterwork armor to swing her around to bat away the High Paladins trying to tackle him

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>>43464680
we love our dumb bug mom

mare?

Be honest, do you really handle your own life better than a mare would?

>>43466640
No.

>>43466640
Fuck no

>>43466640
A little bit, maybe. I'm built for being a doting househusband to a herd, I'm trying my best :(

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I'm surprised by the number of RGRE content about Coco
is it because her shy personality RGREs into a betamare?

>>43467192
I like a mare who can make the pants I wear in the family.

>>43467788
>posting this
>in rgre
she's gonna make you qear your clothing

>>43466678
With all the belly rubs I'll be giving that's an affirmative on doting.