It's been a year since it ended, it was a fun ride...
>>43459140Do we have any stats for /pa/'s overall length? Would be funny if it's shorter than some popular fics kek
>>43459161Well, it has 383 threads and the grand majority got to 500 replies, and the text length could vary from short interactions to walls of text, only way to know for sure would be to manually count it
>>43459161>>43459185shit could be in the 5 words million range easy
My country princess
>>43459140What was this?
>>43459140It's been a year since I noted the Latin was wrong and it should be "Celestiam"...
>>43459140PA was such a great project that I think it deserves to have it's own archive so future generations can easily read the best damn story this board has ever created
>>43461030A site where you could easily navigate the stories/threads in order would be great.
>>43461030>>43461060Did /pa/ ever had a panel in a con? I feel that would be a good way to celebrate a project like this and have fun while showing others what the thread created.
>>43460939Probably the longest CYOA from the board
>>43459140Admirable for the sheer tenacity at the very least. I also miss the Normal Norman threads. Those also developed their entire own ecosystem based on a single show meme.
>>43461764What was Normal Norman about?I have a vague memory if it
>>43460946I'll fix it, give me 5 min
>>434624582 hours and 19 minutes ago
>>43460946>>43462714Sorry lads, almost died on my way from work but here's an edit
>>43462996Update the wiki
>>43461030>was such a great projectNo.>think it deserves to have it's own archivelol lmao>future generations can easily read the best damn story this board has ever createdUh huh, you and 2-3 random other anons roleplaying in a thread is the “best story the board has ever made”.CYOA’s are shit, they only entertain the users that participate in them, not the rest of the board. I’m not reading what you and your ERP buddies got up to.>>43461741Good riddance, CYOA faggots are almost as bad as new greenfags, they clog and pollute the board with shit nobody is going to spend hours reading. A green has to be 2 posts maximum or it’s not a green. CYOA threads should be banned for being off topic roleplay though.
>>43463087Haters will seethe, but this post is right on the money Concerning CYOAs...
>>43463089>SPOILERSince they basically created their own character and told a story with it fits the mould of what every CYOA on this board is/has been.
>>43463093>Since they basically created their own character and told a story with it fits the mould of what every CYOA on this board is/has been.But, we had multiple writers, more than four.
>Strawberry fag hating another thing he had nothing to do with.
>>43463097It was fun so therefore he hates it.
>>43459140It feels like you're making fun of Applejack. (That's just how it came across to me.
>>43463108Go hump a tiger.
>>43463108that's because you're new and ugly and your dick points to the right
>>43463115>>43463116Maybe... I just feel like...
>>43463087>strawberryfag is seething at CYOAs nowlmao this dude is a riot
>>43463108What makes you thinkl that Anon? We fucking love AJ
>>43461741>>43463093It's not quite a CYOA because it was a free for all to write whatever you liked with the concept and if anons liked then it was made canon, until it was so extense that it requiered more coordination from the thread, it was its own style.>>43463096Yeah, I think the best comparison could be how Marvel and DC have their own universes with multiple writers and interconnected contiounty
>>43463097>>43463136>Strawberry fagPay no mind
>>43463595So everyone is an alicorn?
>>434654514/6 more like
>>43463117Feel like what?
>>43461210Anyone down to spread the gospel at mare fair?
>>43461908Bros jacking each other off but no homo or anything hahaha
>>43467013Sounds straight and real
>>43467003not in the con, sorry
>>43459185Taking into account the amount of threads and posts, it would be approximately 190,000 posts in total. If we lowball story posts to be around 15 words on average, it would be roughly in the range of 3 million words. If we go for a middle estimate of like 30 words on average, it could fall in the range of nearly 6 million words. And if we highball the whole thing thanks to the large story posts, it could fall in the whopping 14 million words range.
>>43468433damn
>>43468965fuck off useless niggerbumper
>>43468433>it could fall in the whopping 14 million words range.For the record the longest piece of literature in English, a Loud House fanfic, is around 34mil words we need proper stats to see how autistic /pa/ used to be
>>43469017Wasn't that Loud House fanfic also technically cheating because the author would copy paste whole wikipedia articles in the middle of a chapter just because?
>>43469061yepapparently he also copypasted entire chapters as "flashbacks"
>>43469063>Have fuck all to write today but still need that word count up>I know>Copy paste early chapters, maybe add a few reactions from the POV of our current characters and call it flashbacksLiterary genius, that shit sounds like how some shows want to save budget and just make clip shows from past eps and have the actors react to them in-character lmao
>>43463096>But, we had multiple writers, more than four.There were, at peak, MINUMUM 15 different writers across the years. Each one had a distinct style and favorite characters they used and occasionally got into arguments(But never actually fought because PA was chill like that) concerning story directions. Sometimes they got rendered non-canon because they realized they fucked up, the one I remembered most vividly was during the virtual dungeons and dragons arc where someone essentially ended the arc to make Spike look cool and they didn't even realize. Other writers I swear only existed because they didn't want characters like Zecora and Trixie to get forgotten.
>>43465451Applejack was made an alicorn at the start of the series, Rarity was made an alicorn by an annoyed Celestia who was trying to fuck with AJ during thread 1-2's utter insanity, there was never a plan there they just threw everything they had at the wall and saw what stuck, leading to her gaining the title "Princess of Spite". Fluttershy was an alicorn but wasn't, what happened was she was feeling left behind and useless so Discord turned her into one to make her feel useful, but it completely fucked up and backfired and turned her into essentially a Chaos Sponge who soaked up all of his magic when she was around him too much and frequently caused her to spill Chaos out in the early threads and did things like cause her to form clones of herself by accident who would go and do random shit for one shot comedy, usually ending with their demise. This actually came to a head in one of the early arcs.Twilight was just an alicorn I dunno where they got that shit, didn't even explain it the lazy bastards. 0/10 fic.>>43463087I did not realize this guy was still here. Complained for a decade and still lost when they concluded the story.
I've been catching up from the start, been having fun and I really like it, finished the Robot Invasion arc, it was pretty cool how there were multiple POV from the many side characters dealing with the robots with their own gags. It was essentially like a comic book event from Marvel and DC, only that it was fun and not infuriating like those greedy and cheap bastards.Low-key AJ should have been the one to personally deal with Blueblood, at least get one big earful from her.>>43470789It really is similar to how superhero comics work, only that it's written by people for the love of the game, rather than greedy and exploitative companies.
>>43470857>Low-key AJ should have been the one to personally deal with Blueblood, at least get one big earful from her.I think even /pa/ as a whole agreed they should've had AJ be more involved in the first 2 fight arcs, but they were trying really hard to actually make her do PRINCESS stuff and be more like Celestia, so her commanding her forces from Canterlot while her friends were out in the field made more sense from a story perspective.That said to this day I find it deeply, DEEPLY funny that she does not fight Chitania until the end of the series. Chitania gets out and goes on a rampage and THREE HUNDRED AND SIXTY THREADS LATER they hash it out.
>>43461741It wasn't a CYOA. It was just a fanfic that used Applejack as a Princess for a springboard and let others contribute. It was technically a "Collaborative fiction". One universe multiple writers, and it was pretty damn special in that regard. It feels wild they actually manged not just to end it, but end it, give one last ride, give an epilogue and then come back and give more afterwards. After 12 years you'd figure the well would be dry, but people still had a story to tell. It was the longest fic on the board no question, nothing else comes close, and without question the longest that had an actual ending and didn't end up on the pile of corpse threads. Atta girl, Applejack.
>>43470881It makes sense to not immediately turn AJ into a beat cop at the first chance to stay true to what Celestia said, so that's good but I do feel there could have been a lot of meat with AJ/Blueblood, they are basically perfect foils in this case, the humble and practical earth pony that ascended through merit that tries to resolve the problems that piled up in Equestria vs the prissy and whiny unicorn that's been abusing his legitimate status of royalty to have a lavish life, it's perfect! Applejack is this new alicorn making changes and progress while Blueblood is the personification of the old ways and its incompetence.Like, the first appearance of the Apple Family Tradition was AJ ranting to Celestia about Blueblood's stipend, and in return Blueblood tried to assassinate her but ends up hurting those around her. I'm less talking about AJ fighting because well, even without being an alicorn she could fold someone like Blueblood but more about her interacting with his opposite would have been great, even just from a comedic standpoint, I think they would be hilarious.
>>43471052I completely agree, and I do think early /pa/ suffered from that in regards to serious stuff. Don't get me wrong, early threads are still some of the best for comedy, thread 1 and 2 still make me laugh my ass off, but when it came to meaty character stuff it just wasn't there yet.I feel like if Apple-Crazy's author had been around then, since he only started writing for that thread way later, he could've had something like the Applejack/Chrysalis scene and it would've been tops. But that's just how it was, they didn't know what they were doing or why they were doing it, the writers were green and making really dumb mistakes like forgetting where 42 was, and they wanted to try something new with AJ but didn't quite know how it would pan out. When they finally got there it felt triumphant and big and special, but until that day came, they were just learning a little more each thread.Tree took some time to start producing that good fruit, you know? Had to get bigger, taller, get more sunshine and a little new nutrients. But it came, and it tasted special.
>>43471071Sad that it was a missed opportunity but I'm glad those kind of things could be used as lessons for what came next, can't really blame anyone, everyone was just winging it and having fun, every new post was a new possibility so it's easy to lose track of things and not see certain things that might make for some more good stuff. It just stings a little because now that I'm older and reading again, I feel that maybe I could have pointed that out back then, but I was such newfag back then, just as green as everybody else and only lurked, I can't recall where I left and wasn't as half as smart as I am now, so yeah who knows.
>>43471139Always something, right? I'm just really really glad we gave Luna her legendary run before the end, I think I never would've stopped regretting if she'd ended it like she was before the alt-timeline and she just completely stole the show for a bit. Early threads had a lot of missed chances, but in the end it was just one of like 8 people who tried their best and we were happy they went at all.
>>43471147Yeah, it's good to be glad that things even happened the way they did, better to celebrate that than having regret. Still a long way to go for me to catch up
>>43470804>here was never a plan there they just threw everything they had at the wall and saw what stuck, I still thank god /pa/ just kind of shuffled past Anon in that era. It was suffocating trying to find a green on this site that didn't involve Anon doing this or Anon fucking that, so when they decided just to stick to ponies it was the best shit ever. Shit, it was pretty much the only long running fic on this site that didn't involve him, wasn't it?Kinda said something you had to come to /pa/ if you just wanted to read ponies ON MLP
>>43471021so it was like /mlp/'s own au before it was popular to make a billion aus of everything
>>43471994Yes exactly. The premise is they split the timeline after Rainbow Falls in season 4 and essentially said "What if Applejack got turned into an alicorn right then?" And... well, honestly? It's a lot like the show where different writers wrote different "Episodes", with the vast majority being what amounts to what is now one shot comedy youtube shorts. Imagine if anyone could poke their head in the door to the writers room, come in and make a short about Celestia messing up Applejack's bathroom, and then peace out forever. And it happened a lot.
>>43472090And imagine if a writer could start a big huge massive worldbuilding or important arc and leave, like the rest of MLP, but it like... kept going. Or got rendered entirely non canon and they just moved on like it wasn't a thing. Both of those happened.We seriously had a big lore thing with the Griffons regarding a Kingsmoot that the author just up and abandoned, so someone tied it into an evil capitalism pony, and a fight with a chunk of GOD the author just peaced out on halfway so their resident lumberjack had to finish. It was a wild thread.
>>43472090>that amounts to what is now one shot comedy youtube shortsI've been thinking how PA would kill it with this format, yt and tiktok shorts that are so popular nowadays would be perfect for the style
>>43472177The Gotta Question segments kinda seem tailor made for it, yeah.
>>43471976I remember how someone wrote a green with anon in the first thread and it never went anywhere kek. He probably was thrown to the dungeon down in Canterlot lol
>>43459140I don't think I ever really got Princess Applejack, I thought initially it was a bunch of short stories off an idea of Applejack being a princess. I always thought the "gem" that it quoted in every thread was silly and a little out of character, but good enough for a bunch of episodic stories. But it got so expansive, a bunch of arcs, references within it's own story, etc. That I never really stuck with itI fell off of catching up and maybe it's, ( and for lack of a better term) "Continuity Lock-Out" that got me to stand clear of it. But I'm glad that some people found something to cling to i guess...
>>43473166>always thought the "gem" that it quoted in every thread was silly and a little out of character,Oh it was completely out of character for Celestia to rant like that, the thread even explained her doing that didn't even have the "Rant" be canon I don't think since it never gets referenced in canon, when they say "Gem" they mean the thing so funny people joined in to grow what should've been a shitpost.> But it got so expansive, a bunch of arcs, references within it's own story, etc. That I never really stuck with itCompletely understandable, I mean could you imagine someone trying to jump on One Piece right now? So many stories and characters and one shots on covers that tell stories of all things it would be a gargantuan task, and really that's not for everyone. But hey, that was the whole selling point for the people reading it. In a sea of anon doing one shot stories of fucking ponies or interacting with ponies and then being abandoned there was this one thread with characters that grew and changed over time. They learned lessons and figured it out just as the authors themselves started figuring things out together. For a lot of writers I guess it was nice to know your little side story was part of a bigger world, or your big expansive tale was going to keep growing beyond just that story you made. It was like planting another seed in an orchard, never knowing what would grow from it. And all at the center was a character a lot felt got shafted or forgotten, but in this tale she got to make fuckups that stuck, she had to learn to be a better leader, she had to learn from her mistakes and didn't get an undo button when she fell short. The writers had to figure out what the edge of "Honesty" and "Family" was, and go beyond it, and I think they succeeded.Maybe you'll feel different now that you know it has an end, and a satisfying one at that, but if not hey, hope you had fun with what you had.
>>43463136>>43463097What? I love greens go fuck yourself. Never really paid much attention to cyoas though. You fucking retards seriously think I'm everyone that makes you mad.
>>43473376Do you have a favorite green, Strawb?
>>43473379Yes I do.
>>43473381Will you share it, Strawb?
>>43473392No.
>>43473198The thing about One Piece is that not only is it really long, but it's still on going. I haven't seen much of One Piece, but even if I started watching One Piece 10-15 years ago, I could have still fallen off of it, and have a back log again of episodes to go back to without an end in sight.This might not be a good comparison, but I've seen 400-500 episodes of Pokemon, and it's easier to get back on it whenever I want because despite it's continuity, I know the episodes will mostly likely be self contained. But if it was something like say, Adventure Time, where at the start, things are random, but toward the end, it's really complicated without context. That's when I ask myself, "Is the premise of Adventure Time good enough to make me want to start over?"With 4chan, the nature of the website kind of warrants one offs. It's not written in a traditional sense. The dialogue exchanges are a bit weird, and if you miss anything, someone else has put together relevant posts...so I ask myself the same question. "Is this Princess Applejack story really all that?"
Okay but what if...
>>43473395Why not, Strawb?
>>43473198>>43473404Also to add on to this, and again, it may not be a good comparison...I have seen several hundred episodes of Detective Conan, and it started off pretty story driven, but after some seasons it was only really a "Murder Mystery of the Week" kind of show. But every now and then, they sprinkle some continuity here and there. That stuff adds up over the course of 20 years, so if Detective Conan would have ended right now in some sort of movie, finally resolving everything together with fans all glazing it for weeks and weeks, talking about the characters, the writers, the references, the emotions etc.In my limited experience, I'll be like "Really? CSI, The anime had that much of an impact for people? Is it really that good?"
>>43473404>The thing about One Piece is that not only is it really long, but it's still on going.It was just the first example I thought of regarding "Long as fuck manga", but you did get my drift so it's not a problem.> I could have still fallen off of it, and have a back log again of episodes to go back to without an end in sight.And it would come down to you asking "Do I want to hop back into it now that Oda says they're in the final stretch", and ultimately that's too personal to really speak about. Some people might see Vegapunk and Imu and decide it isn't worth the effort, some might decide to do it just to see where all the myriad of characters ended up. It is what it is.>and it's easier to get back on it whenever I want because despite it's continuity, I know the episodes will mostly likely be self contained.I suppose /pa/ is a lot like that for quite a lot of it's stories, isn't it? Even someone jumping onto Pokemon's individual episodes would probably at least need to know the basics of the characters, if you jumped into Johto and didn't know who May was or how Pokemon worked in general you'd be lost, wouldn't you? Maybe that's why so much of /pa/ was just one off silly moments, anons would just jump in write a silly story with the established characters and bow out for these very reasons. >With 4chan, the nature of the website kind of warrants one offsTrue but as obviously shown by a 12 year run with over a dozen writers and a dozen artists providing art and the like, clearly it also works well as a collaborative medium where writers could jump in and deliver a slice of the world and either be accepted or if it's not up to snuff be corrected and improve on it, being allowed to try again and again as much as they'd like. 4chan was unique in this way because the writers didn't have nametags, so the only real way to spot who was who was characters, writing styles and occasionally if they responded to feedback that way. The anonymity was freeing, and that's pretty much only possible here.>"Is this Princess Applejack story really all that?"That's the ultimate question isn't it? Do you want to spend so much time seeing what amounts to youtube shorts that occasionally break into big serious action or comedy packed arcs, just to see Applejack grow as a Princess, Celestia reignite her spark that had grown dull, Shining Armor to come into his own as the only mortal ruler and Chrysalis to fuck up again and again because she couldn't get over her nature? Or do you just want to see the beginning where it was chaotic, there were no rules, there were no set characters, and everything went at the wall before you dropped it off?Regardless of whichever choice you end up, hopefully it was fun.
>>43473437>In my limited experience, I'll be like "Really? CSI, The anime had that much of an impact for people? Is it really that good?"Well that's up to the individual, isn't it? Bleach is apparently lighting up social media here recently with people hailing it for having it's best episode ever and being an amazing emotional roller coaster, but I didn't really like it back in the day. But even so, me not liking it doesn't change why it was special for people and why whatever happened in that episode was so important, bleach went on for a decade and ended 10 years ago, it was special for them for whatever reason they made it. Maybe they wrote Grimmjow fanfiction, maybe Ichigo was their husbando or they jacked it to Orihime's giant tits. Don't ask "Was it that special"? Because you'll never know what life they lived to make it special.
>>43473430Fuck you that's why
>>43473427That would be magical.
>>43473427Don’t tempt me with a good time
>>43473376Uh oh furfag melty
>>43473376The only thing you love is the sound of your own voice.
>>43473404>"Is this Princess Applejack story really all that?"Depends in what you are looking for, I've been catching up and it's really funny in the first threads so far. But the moment when you read a funny post from one anon and then later another anon writes a funny follow up that expands on the previous joke and so on with other writers, and realize the entire status quo you've been used to from a few threads back is completely different to the current one and you didn't feel the change, it was when it clicked, at least for me.
>>43473427>The reason she doesn't show up in G6 is because gave Applejack her own showIf only
>>43473459When and where, Strawb?
>>43473427>Fans are so pissed off of her exclusion they make their own show about her Dew it
>>43474590We should announce it in one of the cons, riff a little bit that G6 announcement panel from the comic con
>>43473444>Shining Armor to come into his own as the only mortal ruler Kind of underselling him there, he had a hell of a love subplot
>>43475458Now that it's over, it is kind of funny we can step back and actually take stock of who the protagonists of the series actually were.>ApplejackShe's the inciting incident for EVERYTHING, the plot does not kick off without her actions good or ill. If she succeeds or if she fucks up somewhere she causes everything in series to happen.>ChrysalisThe Changeling plot is pretty much the single thread plot from start to end.>CelestiaStepping back you kind of realize how much of the plot was just, her. Just what she did made X or Y happen and more importantly she had to be included in every big event as a focal point. She wasn't just a mentor, she was a third of this series.>Shining/CadenceThey're pretty much the protagonists of their own story that happens to run side by side with the series. Shining especially is like, the second main character for the first half of the series eclipsing even Celestia and Chrysalis for a bit. He gets benched HARD in the end but for a hell of a run there it was the AJ and Shining Show.
>>43475458He beat Spike at the harem game
>>43475857In fairness, he's a MARRIED STALLION who got laid like twice in 360 threads.Honestly if you described it to anyone else you would swear it was an NTR setup instead of a weirdly wholesome relationship where one member just doesn't have much of a sex drive period.
>>43475857I wonder if they did it all over again, they'd give Spike a better romance.
>>43475498I can't stress enough how amazing Applejack and Celestia worked as a comedy duo that kickstarted the whole thing, it's something that definitely clicked immediately. AJ is just great as the no nonsens straight mare with a temper and Celestia acting as this tired, lazy and silly mentor figure that would rather eat cake over anything else was perfect, they made for perfect contrast, their banter and antics were so fun to read, they both annoyed each other but also became friends, it's so fun that I sometimes forget that is completely made up and not from the show.
>>43474857Now that the whole thing is over, making a celebration panel in a con sounds like a fun time
>>43476153Maybe
>>43476545Looking back on the show it's kind of sad there never really was a character rapport with Celestia and any of the other Main Six besides Twilight. Like you said, sometimes it's hard to remember this characterization of them being friends just... doesn't exist in the show. There's no back and forth, there's no little humor in the straight mare and Celestia getting to show her funnier side. We know from the show she used to be into pranks and she likes doing silly things sometimes, but how does she act with Dash, Rarity, or Fluttershy? Pretty much the same. The threads didn't just work, they were perfect in this higher figure who made very human flaws not out of malice but because 1000 years is a LONG time.
>>43477280It took way too long to do more with Celly on the show, is mostly with Twilight and it's a bit one-sided or well, that Twi usually overthinks and gets nervious. There was a lot of potential for more.
>>43477541>The first just Celestia and Luna episode was in THE FINAL FUCKING SEASONAbsolutely atrocious. /pa/ at least sent them to fat camp and had them make friends.
>>43478064The show writers wasted her
This was almost canon
>>43470804>I did not realize this guy was still here. Complained for a decade and still lost when they concluded the story.That's Strawberryfag.
>>43479231That's right Anon. I'm everyone that makes you upset online.
>>43479211I find it deeply hilarious that even the in-universe paparazzi would care more about her than Twilight. >>43478064I say with complete and utter sincerity that the Celestia/Luna Fat Camp suplot would have been one of the best episodes of the entire show, especially if they kept the ending where someone goes all "Take over the world" only to have Celestia talk her out of it by agreeing to advertise the fat camp, complete with birth certificate
>>43475498I once had a dream, it was like I was watching a scene from the actual show but it was influenced by the thread. It had AJ and Shining interacting in a funny way because of something that I can't quite remember, I think they were discussing tips about hardware to fix a kitchen or something but because it was show quality in my dream, when I woke up I swore it was a real memory from the show and tried to search for it but then realized that no, AJ and Shining never really talked in the show like that, it was /pa/ giving me a false memory.
Reading the first threads realizing that those are a decade old hits me like a truck, with some things being references to things that were new at the time. The Robot Invasion has a lot of Bioshock: Infinite (I honestly love that, I think the aesthetics fit pretty well), one anon name dropped the Guardians of the Galaxy trailer as inspiration and that just made me feel fucking old kek. And when discussion Cordyceps one anon goes, "Look up something called The Last of Us" and like man, where does time go...
>>43479211I think M.A. Larson was the one that came up with that episode, he always seemed fond of AJ. Probably gave up when he found out /pa/ was a thing and and all the best jokes have already been taken.>>43479387When the thread hit gold, it was good, really good.
>>43479646It is funny seeing all the references to “Titan” power now considering the term for Kaiju wasn’t really used when Chitania first came out.
>>43479646It really was a time capsule of it's era, in a lot of ways. A lot of references not just to the shows coming out then, but also to /mlp/ as a whole. Watching the perception of the IDW comics shift in real time is crazy, even if I actually think they were way nicer about it than /mlp/ on the whole was.It was a time when everything went off the wall and one off jokes we'll never see used again were commonplace, when hope for the next season of the show actually provided hype and you got to see reactions to the various plot point in the thread. You can almost chart release dates based off jokes in the threads. Where does the time go, indeed.
>>43480694>You can track real world events and a decade of MLP history with /pa/Insane
>>43480694>They never changed the changelingsMade the right choice honestly
>>43481552We love our bugs
>>43481552>>43481602Nobody wanted to be the one to imply they needed to change Two’s design. They had perfection
>>43481261I did not realize how fucking long they kept up that = mark for name fields. I remember it being like, a day, but no that shit went on for a while.
>>43481797All the reactions to Star Wars are...Well
>>43481675I can't wrap my head around something so cute and perfect as Two not being canon, she's just so real to me.
>>43482560If only they knew about well, many things
>>43482602The thread's daughter
>>43482986Good news! They found out… and we got to see them react in real time.The last Jedi reactions were something
>>43482602Reading thread 1-2 knowing what Two becomes is fucking wild
>>43484235One never knows what to expect from /pa/
>>43483171>The cute adorable little daughtru of the thread>Who also turns into a tank
>>43481261Not gonna lie, so many references being a decade old make me feel ancient.
>>43473427No, really what if
>>43476545>I can't stress enough how amazing Applejack and Celestia worked as a comedy duo that kickstarted the whole thing, it's something that definitely clicked immediately.>AJ is just great as the no nonsens straight mare with a temper and Celestia acting as this tired, lazy and silly mentor figure that would rather eat cake over anything else was perfect, they made for perfect contrast, their banter and antics were so fun to read, they both annoyed each other but also became friends, it's so fun that I sometimes forget that is completely made up and not from the show.Yes! This is the thing that was so important/feels the best to me, is that it was so close to the original "energy" of the show. Really in the spirit of it, as opposed to most other things that fail to emulate characters (personalities) or just don't portray the world as well, Princess Applejack held a miraculous level of cohesion and it was very enjoyable as a stand alone thing but that still felt unique (much like the show itself!)Very cool and I don't think we'll be able to capture something quite like that ever again, it was like lightning-in-a-bottle.
>>43485680I wish
>>43485680Then I’d watch it. >>43485887Sadly yeah, the world just isn’t the same as it was when /pa/ started. /mlp/ isn’t the same. /pa/ started in the middle of season 4, when memories of what the show was like spirit wise we’re still fresh and seen recently by the people hopping on. When traffic was high and people were more willing to poke their heads into what looked like a shitpost for a laugh, and when it hadn’t become the same exact stock phrases everywhere./pa/ came at a time when we didn’t know much about the world of the show, and it was all much more consistent. When the IDW comics hadn’t made it to Reflections yet, and people were still treating them as if they could be part of the show. It was a time when people had a spark for what could be enough to jump into a thread just to write a funny story and someone liked it enough they could add to it. When the board was fast so there were enough posters to give that minimum couple stories every single day. Stories every day in this world? Madness. But /pa/ found those writers and they all came together. The world where someone saw Applejack getting neglected and said they were going to give her cool stuff to do and cool abilities because season 4 of the show dropped the ball was a different world than now, where barely anyone has hope for her if she even shows up in the new series period. A world where making the country mare smart and capable wasn’t some political statement, and the writers hadn’t yet decided they hated the archetype. Where nothing was known about the changelings, and infinite possibilities awaited. That world is gone, and it was gone long before the thread ended. /pa/ was born in the luckiest time.
>>43486279Think about it. /pa/ had to come>Early seasons so it still has people exited for how good it is>After season 3’s finale so they could do the “random princess” meme>Before season 5’s Glimmer spam>Before the giant battle of season 4 so it still starts off comedy >After the season 4 opener when there was still heavy traffic due to people tuning in each week and it wasn’t in a hiatus slowdownIt literally, not figuratively, came at some point in a 3 month timespan when it could be created. Couldn’t replicate that shit with a Time Machine
I really wonder what Lauren Faust would think of our collective insanity
>>43486500>Well at least they remember she can FARM
>>43486320>It literally, not figuratively, came at some point in a 3 month timespan when it could be createdLightning in a bottle for sure.
>>43481552>>43481602Damn right>>43481675I would have murdered someone
>>43487273As well you should've, we have design perfection.
>>43487273Wait, this is new... JOE!?
>>43487273I will never, not for as long as I remember what the fuck that was even about before Alzheimers or Dementia take me, not find it funny that /pa/ spent YEARS hammering home>Yes they look scary and a lot of them look similar, and it makes perfect sense for folks to distrust them, but ultimately it comes down to what they do as individuals that make them what they are and they can be less scary even while looking just the same.Then the actual show comes along and>We can't have the GOOD GUYS being black fanged bug creatures, make them pony colors!Talk about a kick to the balls.>>43487275...wait is that actually new?
>>43487273>>43487275Huh, does indeed seem to be new! https://princess-aj.fandom.com/wiki/Applejack_2...is Into the Wiki guy still alive? Probably not, right?
>>43487278I just checked the wiki, this is indeed a fresh Two!
>>43487273>>43487290Well I'll be damned, happy End Anniversary indeed.
>>43487273Neat.>>43487287>...is Into the Wiki guy still alive? Probably not, right?Sadly I doubt most of the writers or even lurkers are still around, it's been a solid 8 months without anything related to /pa/, so if you came here to see where it was going or to pop in for that fast as fuck final anniversary there's really no reason to keep coming back.Do any other threads really have any ongoing non-anon stories? Seriously asking.
>>43487273I dunno if joe but MORE TWO! Never will you leave my heart! Somewhere out there, she is being the best princess and best sister.
>>43487273>Never made a sequel for the series called Princess Applejack 2 with her as the star and AJ in the Celestia roleMissed opportunity
>>43487471"Hey AJ, I gotta question for ya!">Oh Sunbutt help me..."You know that fence ya made?">...It's mah turn now."How far did ya make the fence?">Ah beg your pardon sugarbee?"How big didja make it?">..."Like, did you make it around the WHOLE forest like a big ol' comfy winter coat?">... Uh...""... You only built it around Ponyville didn'tcha?">In mah defense, them monsters don't bother no one else."Cause there wasn't a fence before...">... Yep."And there's a fence now...">... Yep."So where do they go after?">..."You don't know, do ya?>..."That's okay! I don't know everything either! But Aunty Twilight's giving me lessons, maybe she can help you too!">*POP*"Oh wow, your eye's leaking something awful, I'mma go getcha a bandaid!'... and it's only gonna go down hill from here~!'>Ah can still slash your cake fund!'FIEND!'
>>43487576We'd have to tie it into G5 like>Aj Prime? Ah' gots a question."Can Ah' pull rank here and stop it before it gets too bad?">Sure can! But then the problem would just be there."Dang it.">Anyway, Ah' was jus' wonderin' iffin' we're gonna do anythin' bout that weird lady goin' around tryin' to start fights with the three races."That who!? That what!? Huh!?">Ah' mean it ain't like nobody noticed her, she's in a cloak. Ya'll saw Zecora comin' and hid, it's not like it makes ya' invisible."Who told you about that!?">So, like, we gonna get her, or?"Now we can't be lockin' up folks for mean words, even if they are inflammatory regarding other races. We need ta' beat her in the hearts and minds, not in a jail cell or court room. Iffin' she hurts someone, that there is one thing, but we ain't in a world where someone spoutin' the superiority of one race or another is reason enough to rob them of their freedom.">Ohhhh, makes sense."Ah' know it's hard, sugar cube, and it'll take a long time, but we'll eventually-">Is dark magic illegal?"Ah' beg yer' finest pardon?">Dark magic, that'un illegal? Cause she uses that."Well, now we got somethin', because as it turns out! Uh. Wait. Wait, hold up, is there a, wait.">Didn't make Dark Magic usage illegal?"Ah' didn't think Ah' had to! Dang it, this is all Celestia's fault!">But yer' the one who fought dark magic, didn'tcha?"Well, sure, the one time, but Ah', uh.">Sooo, don'tcha mean it's all your-"GADDANG IT!">Ah' like our talks.
>>43487576>>43487615I missed it so.
>>43487615"Don't worry, sugar cube! We got this! We're just gonna go down there and use our skills in debatin' in order to convince them not to be jerks!">YAY!"Yessir, Ah've got the best debate skills on the planet, Ah'll have ya' know! Ah' talked a chunk of the almighty outta killing us all, and she didn't understand a word Ah' was saying! That seriously happened. Ah'm not joking. Ah did a debate with a chunk of the thing that made our reality.">Neato!"So convincing everyone should be just as easy as buckin' a tree! What's she got that we ain't?">Well, she is starting a musical number."All is lost."
>>43487615Did we seriously never make the joke about dark magic being illegal?How is there still more!?
>>43487576>>43487615>>43487675It's like they never left...
>>43487691>Ah' feel like there was somethin' else ya' forgot to make illegal too."That there's silly, what else am Ah' possibly missing here?"*RUMBLE*"Dang it, that friggen Metal Hoosey Whatever keeps flyin' too dang close when it lands!">..."What?">What're the odds they still ain't illegal wayyyy in the future and someone smashes somethin' with it...
>>43487691That's the thing... There was ALWAYS more! We HONESTLY could of kept it up, we could of kept going, it never HAD to stop. We just wanted to end on a strong note instead of fading away and dying off like other threads/Generals.
>>43487712Which was honestly the right call with how the board as a whole has been since it's departure. /pa/ went out a note of either "We fixed it!" or the Gen 5 special depending on how you look at it. As much as I wish it could start back up again and go on to more adventures, I know it wouldn't last. /mlp/ just isn't much of what it used to be.
>>43487712Imagine if we didnt' "retire" and had been around for the announcement that AJ and Rarara were NOT gonna be in the main cast. It would of been sheer chaos and fun.
>>43487727Your right, still though, I refuse to actually let go.
>>43487728Jesus I just wanna imagine the thread of just melting down and stories making fun of it.The fact it's the two Alicorn'd ones from /pa/ just feel especially funny.
>>43487278>The show with a huge chunk of liberal and progressive writers was more racist than the fanfiction made by 4chan autists
>>43487728>No "Live AJ 2 Reaction"COULDA BEEN
>>43487731Just because like 20 percent of the jokes were about racism and racism being justified doesn’t mean we’re actually racists, some of our favorite characters are black!The real funny one is we were somehow less racist to griffons, which… goddamn
>>43487730>And here I thought *I* was the Princess of Spite!"Takin' out the rich white pony and country pony? REAL SUBTLE!"
>>43487712>instead of fading away and dying off like other threads/Generals.Or worse, not dying but persisting as those things that haunt the catalog like ghosts of a forgotten era. When >>43487335 asked I looked around for a bit in the catalog to see if I could find any with an ongoing story, and all I saw out of 10 threads were pictures and one note replies. We truly went out on a high note in comparison, a legend that will never be surpassed.
>>43487615>Ya' think they're ever gonna figure out that it's just three villages bein' jerks and we're all perfectly fine over here?""NAHHHHH'
>>43487788>s. We truly went out on a high note in comparison, a legend that will never be surpassed.That's the best part, it's like breaking an academy record for a game that's being discontinued.Go on, try and match 12 years of Princess Applejack. Try.
>>43487273Well I will be. I'll never get tired of seeing that face.
>>43487273All my mallys, just take them
>>43487728G6 might give more material to riff>>43487730Hasbro did out of spite towards us, I know they lurk!
>>43487707They totally stole Pennydrop there
>>43488931We did a lot of things first and we did it better
>>43487615>AJ 2"Applejack"~~~~~>Heya, Applejack? Gota question here."Why am Ah' down here? It's still mah' dang show!">Eh?"Sorry, Two, was wonderin' why Ah' got put at the bottom of the choir for the next Hearth Warming play, ya' needed something?">Yepper Ah' did, and Ah' just really wanted to know, uh... are the dragons gonna get better, or?"We're workin' on it.">Cause they're in caves."We're workin' on it.">Ah' also looked way into the future and they don't gots even the most basic of infrastrubles... infrastackers... buildin' places."That ain't true, they got a maze of death.">...Uh-"We're workin' on it, Ah' said!">Okay, cool... why're there so little of them left?"That there would be one way we're workin' on it.."
>>43489113You're really selling this, I feel compelled to buy, my "take my money" hand is acting up.
>>43489113>AJ 2"AJ"~~~~~>Applejack? Gots another question."Kinda figured you'd run out of those.">Ya'd figure! Ya'd figure. So uh... since Uncle Spike becomes the Dragon lord-"That there might not happen, it was just me walkin' through a portal and goin' to a possible future.">Right but iffin it does... where's the BS?"Beggin' yer' pardon, partner?">The bs! Where's the BS!?"Can ya'... clarify?">Well, Spike needs the BS, don't he? How's he gonna deal with the dragons without some BS!?"There is a lot of that in this world...">No there ain't, there's just the one!"...OHHHHHH! Oh, the Bloodstone Scepter!">That's two many words!"But it's just-oh. Ah' getcha. Anyway, what'cha mean?">Well, he didn't have it, did he?"...HUH. Ya' know, yer' right! Maybe he hid it?">But that's dangerous!"Well, ain't a big deal, ain't like anyone can just take it.">...yes they can."Eh?">Yes they can. They can just pick it up and take it and it's theirs then. Remember the story? The one story we gots about the BS and dragons? All she did was grab it from the guy and she was dragon lord."Riiiiight, right right right... Huh!">So?"Maybe it broke?">So he ain't dragon lord then?"Bah, that's just a title. And it ain't like it's all that important iffin' he's rulin' like a good fella! All we know about it is it controls dragons after a little fire magic thing goes into yer' eyes and-ohhhhh no.">Oh no?"TWILIGHT! TWILIIIIIGHT! GET EMBER ON THE LINE PLEASE!">Ah' dunno what yer' worried about, we ain't got nobody who can use dragonfire magic-wait a minute."TWILIIIIIIIIGHT!">Is... is this yer' fault?"NOT IF AH'M FAST ENOUGH!
>>43489468>The reason Opaline is so obsessed with Dragonfire is because she absorbed the magic of the Scepter for a time and mind controlled the other dragons into attacking Equestria.>As powerful as they were, the adults were strong enough and numerous enough that even multiple Alicorns couldn't stand up for very long, even if in the end they managed to pull off a win probably with Discord or the Elements of Harmony.>This is the catalyst for the creatures either leaving Equestria because a pony caused it, were wiped out in the attack, or were distrusted after they refused to help.>The reason there's so few dragons left is the cost of fighting back.>The reason there's only 3 pony villages is just the remains of whoever was left.>The reason Twilight locked away all magic and Spike sealed off the dragons was to keep it from happening again.This actually makes a lot of sense and explains Spike's "Opaline had to use dark magic" line, she had to use dark magic to corrupt the magic of the Bloodstone Scepter and send the one race in Equestria that can go toe to toe with alicorns on a campaign of destruction that would lead any race bitter and afraid of other races.
>>43489468>>43489604Jesus that's a dark idea.
>>43489468>>43489604>>43490270>>43487691 Once again, there was ALWAYS more.
>>43489604>Opaline probably killed Ember to get the staff, draining her dry like she tried to do to Sparky.>The only ones who remained were the dragons who had begun relationships with ponies, explaining why all the G5 dragons had manes
>>43489468>AJ 2"AJ"~~~~~>Hey'a Applejack? Gots another question for ya'."Ah'm not even gonna complain, ya' might've saved me a big ol' headache with that last one.">And it's connected ta' that'un! Continuity!"We do like that round these parts.">Ah' was just wonderin' iffin' dragons and ponies can make babies together."Sugar cube Ah' was like ninety nine percent sure no, but apparently Ah' was wrong about that'un!">...what."Cause MAGIC IS BULLPLOP!">Oh. So can they?"Ain't illegal even if those manes are a crime against nature.">Ohhhh..."Cept for yer' dad.">Eh? Why him?"Cause that thing could probably end the world.">...whaassat?"Don't worry about it.">So, wait, who's fault is this?"Marketing, probably.">HEY! Callin' them soulless is mean! Call'em "Special" like everyone else!"...knew Ah' liked you."
>>43490679>"Cept for yer' dad.""That's another thing Ah' might need to take care of, Ah'm sure I left them garden sheers somewhere... Maybe Ah' can ask Rarity for a couple dozen hair ties or a REALLY mean scrunchie."
>>43490759>Why? What'cha gonna do with those?"...Ah'mma do his hair.">YAY! Can Ah' help!?"S-sureeee... procedure can wait till after yer' clear.">Whassat?"NOTHIN'!
>>43490679>AJ 2"Applejack"~~>Hey, Applejack? One more question."Ah' doubt that. Ah' really truly do.">Never know! We might all a'splode tomorrow!"Point. What'cher question?">Nothin' crazy, Ah'm just wonderin' how big yer' orchard is."Eh?">Like, what's the size. How many footsies. Tape measure and all! Cause like, we keep seein' it, and sometimes it's pretty normal and sometimes it looks bigger than Everfree. Ya' gots a whole other orchard out there ya' don't even use that ya' have to travel to, by cart! Is this like, a hectacre? Bigger?"DANG IT! All that money Ah' gave Pinkie, wasted!">Eh?"Now it's gonna snap back to bein' reasonable and defined instead of as big as Ah' need it to be when Ah' needs it! So many years of it just conveniently being just large enough fer' whatever it was Ah' was doin' at the time, gone!">Oh. So ya' messed with time and space for apples?"YES!">So all the weird thingamathings in this here land ownership deed that's makin' Auntie Twi do loopdaloops is all yer' fault-"NOOOOOOHOHOOOOO!"
>>43491076>Abusing Ponk Magic For Mo' ApplesHAH
Do you see this!?>>43487273>>43487576>>43487615>>43487675>>43487707>>etc.ARISE! Return to life! I command you damn it! COME BACK!!! I mean look at how much life is STILL in these bones!
>>43491076At least she did it for the love of apples, others would have bend time and space for much worse things, like tax evasion
>>43491380No one is ever truly gone
>>43491084So that’s where Pinkie got the money…
>AJ 2*"AJ"~~~~~>Heya, Applejack, got a question for you."...somethin's off here.">What do you mean?"Anyone else see that? The little... thing up there?">Up where?"Wayyyy up there at the top, ya' see it?">I don't see what you're talking about."Iffin' ya' look real closely right there next to the big second one, you'll see it.">See what!?"Someone dumb enough ta' get fooled, Chrysalis.">...HAH!FWOOSH!"Ya' didn't even try for the accent.">Well I wanted to see if you improved from my Cadence days."When ya' pretended to be someone Ah' didn't even meet before then?">Excuses excuses, but I really did have a question about that place you hopped to."Yes, yer' a statue or dead in that world. Either or.">Alt-mes just can't compare, HAH! But seriously about the changelings."They turn into crazy colors and don't feed off love no more, they're just bugs.">So they lose out on the superpowers?"Genuinely don't know, they only fought one thing and it wasn't very impressive.">Lame! They are lame and not sexy! But I'm proud of alt-me for choosing death instead of rainbow colors."She lost control of her hive.">Well other mes can't all be me."So is that it? Ya' just came down here ta' pretend to be Two and ask about the other changelings?">Pretty much, I needed to kill like, thirty minutes and hey, hanging out with you is something I haven't done in forever."Has been a weirdly long time...">And no hammers to the face this time!"Well, ya' ain't left yet.">Meh, gimme another couple of seconds and Shiny will be out of the meeting."Ah. Ah' see, then what'cha planning to do?">...Really? Gonna be blunt here, rut him."Ah.">Bang him. Screw him. Toss him ta' the ground and have mah' way with him."Ah' get it.">Tell him ta' lean back and give him a spit shine. Give him a cloud walker spell and make it rain. Tell him I've stocked up on lozenges and let him take it from there."Ah' get it!">Take him inta the bath and make some bubbles. Stop him while he's walkin' around and tell him that's not the only hallway he could be inside. Tell him Ah' want ta' know what it would be like if AH' had the white coat."AH' GET IT!">Tell him Ah' wanted ta finally tell 29 what his size was, and Ah' don't have a ruler. Put on a maid outfit and make it dirty. Take a deep breath and tell him ta' pretend it's his birthday."AH' GETTT ITTTTTT!"~Chrysalis? You ready to go?~>Coming, Shiny!... Hey, Applejack."What.">That was all yer' fault."GAHHHHH!">WE WILL BE IN OUR BUNK, NO CALLS!"...so she can get the accent right..."
>>43490759>>43490836She must do it, that thing counts as a bioweapon
>>43492669>A joke TWELVE YEARS in the making
>>43492669>FINAL>VENGEANCE
>>43492689>AJ"SA"~~~~>We really should get'cha snipped..."Applejack, I'm ashamed of you!">...figured ya' would run off in terror, so now Ah'm curious."I appreciate that, but that ship sailed I think.">Do explain."Look, my whole thing is obviously being loyal in love no matter what, right?">Right."So if you want me to not make a mega dragon, just don't let me have whacky romcom antics with her, and if I do break up with Cadence-NOOOOOO!... Sorry, if I do that thing, do whacky romcom things to get us back together!">Are ya' seriously saying Ah' need to devote an entire chunk of my life to a sitcom episode getting you and an estranged spouse back together?"Yep!">...snips are faster."But cost so much more!">What? No they don't, they're cheap."I meant the hospital bills.">We got free healthcare."I know.">..."...">Good day sir."And a good one to you!"
>AJ 2"AJ"~???~~~~~~>S'cuse me, Applejack? Ah' gots another question."Yer' actually you this time, right?">Ah'm not old enough ta' get philomosofical witch'a. Pretty sure Ah' won't be old enough when Ah'm two hundred instead of just Two."Phew.">Anyway, can Ah' ask mah' question? Ah' don't wanna bug ya'. Heh. Bug."Pretty sure Celestia would've given every bit in the treasury to hear those words...">...bug?"No, Ah'... what's your question?">Oh! Right! How's the sun go up and down?"...Two-">Ah' meant in the not-future where there weren't no magic. Ah' just wanna be prepared iffin' ya'll get portalfwooshed again."Oh... can't.">Gaspeth! Ya' forgot ta' ask!? It's all yer-"Ah' asked, they just don't know why the sun keeps goin' up. Iffin' Ah' knew, Ah'd probably do somethin' similar here, that thing is heavy.">Ohhhhh... well, did'ja ask Mommylestia if there's a possible way?"Surely she would've just told us and saved us the trouble, wouldn't she?">..."...Gaddang it. Stand back."She does so, and a symbol appears between the two."Through space and stars Ah' bring the fold, reaching across vastness untold. Ah' conjure mah' power and the wings of the heavens may flut, now GET YER' FLANKS OVER HERE SUNBUTT-"~Were you trying to summon me via time and space!?~Celestia steps onto the balcony.~What in mother's name, Applejack!? Do not conjure me from time and space like that! I could be in the shower!~"...friggen wanted to show how good Ah' got as magic gaddang show stealer had ta' already be over here rassafrassa."~What is the problem?!~>Applejack Prime just wanted ta' know how'sabout we make the sun go up without one of us casting the spell.~You can't do that! You obviously can't do that! Hundreds of unicorns lost their magic forever trying to do that. If there was a way to do that, I would do that! There is no known way for anyone besides us to ever do that kind of spell!~"Huh. How'd they do it, then?"~No doubt it came at a terrible cost, likely the life of someone to cast a spell... for all of time. Perhaps that was what became of myself and my sister in that world, or perhaps that was where Twilight finally ended her rule. So many ways it could have ended... so many regrets...~>Shucks, Ah' thought they just used yer' watch.~...~"Yer' what now."~Er, I don't know what she's talking about.~>Ya' know, yer' watch that'cha put yer' power and Auntie Luna's power into! The one that made it so anyone can raise and lower the sun and moon, and ya' don't even gotta lose yer' own magic forever? Magic watch, ya' know!~...soooo-~"YA' HAD THAT THIS WHOLE TIME!?"~I mean... whole time is subjective-~"Ya'll got captured once a week for a stretch there and we would've been left in darkness forever, when the whole problem could be solved with a dang magic watch and it would've been ALL YER' FAULT!"~...for old times sake?~"Go ahead."BACKFLIPSPLASH"ALL YER' FAULT!">Ah' knew we missed one...
>>43493502>>Gaspeth! Ya' forgot ta' ask!? It's all yer-I love her even mooooooore for that one>~...for old times sake?~>"Go ahead.">BACKFLIP>SPLASHAnd for a moment all was right with the world
>AJ2"Applejack"~??~~~~~>Ah'm back, and we gots a question!"Now, when ya' say we.">Hold up.She backs up, clears her throat, and gestures off to the side.>Presentin' her royal upness, the Firstborn sissy, Flurry Heart!Immediately she began playing on a trumpet that had not been there before, heralding forth the grumpy faced alicorn.~I told you, it's her Royal HIGHNESS! Firstborn ALICORN!~>PWPPP-that's what Ah' said!~And that intro was terrible!~>Auntie Pinkie ain't made it ta' trumpets yet, ya' should'a had me play the accordion. Ah' can do that!~That would sound awful as a royal presentation!~>Ah' also gots the bagpipes mastered!~THAT WOULD BE WORSE!~"Ahem."~WHAT!?~"Ya'll had a question?"~...Ahem. Princess Applejack, I would like to royally request information on your end regarding the legality of mind control spells.~"Oh no ya' don't."~I'm not saying I'm using them, I want to know if they're legal!~"No, they ain't."~You're sure.~"Yep."~Law in the books and everything?~"...yep."~You hesitated there.~"Ah' mean, surely, for all the flak Ah' gave her, surely ya' don't think Celestia-"~Wouldn't want to lock her up niece and student?~"...Who told ya' about that."~Smartypants con and a married couple mom 'helped', respectively.~"Ah' see. Ah' see."~...sooo?~"Ah' put it in the books when Buggo got here for what Ah'm hopin' are obvious reasons."~CURSES! I was born too late!~"Pretty much yeah, ya' missed out on so much of the good times."~Very well! With this, I shall depart oh Princess Applejack, thank you for being a gracious host of this meeting of the nations. Good day!~"..."~I need her to... you know, to do the thing to send me off.~>Ah' lost the little mouth piece for the trumpet. Ah' dunno where it went, just dropped and it's gone. Help.~UGGHGHGH!~In a huff, she stomps off."...ain't ya' gonna follow her?">Actually, uh, mah' question was more... ya' know how yer' sister used ta' do really dumb stuff and get on yer' nerves? How'd ya' keep her from blowin' herself up... or boppin' her...".......maybe ask someone else this one."
>>43493924>>Ah' lost the little mouth piece for the trumpet. Ah' dunno where it went, just dropped and it's gone. Help.I imagine its in one of her hoof holes, you know the ones not filled with secret mallys.
>>43493953We both know she just chucked the thing so she didn't have to keep playing for Flurry.Two is best sister but she has her limits.
>>43493924Put her in a mech-Wait shit no!
>>43493502Just like it ever was...AJ just wanted to flex and here Celly ruins her evening further. love how we can always have a funny scenario using things that were introduced later in the show but in-universe always existed, Celestia not telling anyone is always funny.
>>43494472Proud of her for using magic.
>>43463117mate go and feel your dick
>>43491076Next she’s going to ask who exactly is actually in her family since the members change every episode
>>43495457“Nah that’un does change for uh… different reasons…”>…“Ya ever hear bout divorce?”
>>43496025>AJ2 "AJ"~~~>Heya, Applejack? Quick question for ya'."Ya'll can ask slow ones too, Ah'm not picky.">Ha ha! Ah' likeya'! Ah'mma try not ta' make it hurty for that'un!"Knew Ah' liked ya'.">Just wonderin' how Equestria deals with divorce."Shouldn't ya' ask yer' ma bout that one?">Ah' did and she said not bein' able ta' use big ol hearts ta' fix it is foody doody!"...need ta' have a conversation with her...">But she also said ta' ask you cause ya' did all the paperwork and iffin' ya' changed anythin' Ah' gots to know."Secret agents even now, eh?">Ah'm not secret bout anything!"Nevermind. Well Ah'll have you know it's a standard affair pretty much, ya' file some paperwork, we split up the assets, decide who gets how much custody on which days and off they go, there ain't nothin' major about it. Pretty borin', honestly.">Ohhhh, neat!... So ya' ain't gotta move to another city like the Hippogriffs and sea ponies?"Ah' wouldn't know, we don't rule them.">Ohhh, cool... so wait, why did-"Because we beat the Storm King and went down there ta' talk and she was two seconds from becomin' friggin crabs at the bottom of the dang deepest ocean like a GADDANG IDIOT.">..."YA'LL HAVE A FRIGGEN SUPERWEAPON TURN INTA' DRAGONS OR SOMETHIN'!">Can they or is it just seaponies and back to normal? Has she ever done anything besides sea ponies or normal?"...Spike turned inta' a blowfish, Ah' guess?">Why does the universe keep doin' that to him?"Ah' do not know.">Huh. Soooo, who's fault is it?"The divorce? Officially not the kids, but we know... we know.">...ya' okay?"Family reunions shouldn't involve friggen FLOWCHARTS, AUNTIE.">Yer' good, Ah'll report back ta' mommy..."STICK WITH ONE!"
>>43496349>AJ 2"AJ"~~~~~>Hey, since we're talkin' bout them and all-"Ah' do not remember agreeing ta' that.">Where are all the catamafolk anyway? Like, which direction?"...that there's actually a good question, ain't it? Storm King's kingdom is to the southwestern of Equestria, while the Hippgriff city was ta' the southeast. But they said Abyssia fell before the Hippogriffs, which ya'll would thing would mean they're somewhere in the middle, right? But that's where the Armaspi are-">The who?"Folks who stole the Griffonstone Griffon King's thingamawhatsit, Ah' wasn't there for that.">Right."But they clearly didn't get attacked or the Storm King would've mentioned it, right?">Ya' would figure!"So...huh...">OH OH OH! Maybe he went westamoreish? Like, that'a way. Alllll the way around and hit the Hippogriffs!"So, cross the whole world, hit the Hippogriffs, futzed for a bit then went north ta' us?">Maybe!"...Don't seem right.">Fine, let's just go ask him! Ya' captured him, remember? We gots him locked up!"Well... yes and no...">Whassat?"Yeaahhhhh maybe us talkin' to him ain't the best idea right now, he's askin' for... release...">...Applejack-"Ah' know, AH' KNOW! But unfortunately Luna skewed the whole dang thing regarding taking over kingdoms! And Discord made it even worse messin' with the whole wide world!">And Changeamathings attacked Canterlot."That too! So eventually he was like "Can Ah' say sorry and work towards release" and threatened to sue iffin' we didn't.">Oh... so-"So it ain't technically mah' fault but ya' know what? Ah' feel responsible.">...the Hippogriffs are gonna-"AH' KNOW! Mah' poor diplomacy workload... should'a let Dash finish him off...">What?"Nothin', nothin'. nothin' at all...">Ya' know ya' can't avoid him forever, and when ya' do let him out..."....All mah faullllttt..."
>>43496751Offing or stoning your enemies sure is less trouble
>>43496349>"Family reunions shouldn't involve friggen FLOWCHARTS, AUNTIE."Lmao, who knows how many other fruits married into the apple family because of this
>>43493924Born too late to conquer the worldBorn too early to conquer the cosmosBorn just in time to have the best sissy
>>43497904>Flurry"Applejack"~~>Princess Applejack, I fear that my capabilities will go to waste now that I, the Firstborn Alicorn, have grown to a world without the highs of old!"Well, not fer' nothin' but Celestia did enjoy almost a thousand years of... relative peace followin' Nightmare Moon's banishment. Sure, there were threats, but it's hard to take a Bugbear that someone like Agent Sweetie Drops was able to take down seriously when ya' just shot a giant city eating evil unicorn.">So what you're saying is..."Enjoy the peace? Work on yer' political game? Go to a soup kitchen and feed the hungry?">I should face the horrors of this world with my vast power so future generations do not have to fear them!"If by horrors ya' mean "bad land management", then sure, go ahead and-">AHA! I shall traverse to the edge of the world, and find my foes of Darkness and bring them to light with my shine of the Firstborn Alicorn!"Two? Gedder."Out from a potted plant burst Applejack Two, who quickly snatched the alicorn just before she managed to take off into the sky and fly away.>BUT I CAN SAVE THE WORLD!~Applejack? Ah' gots a question.~"Figured ya' would get that one in."~Just wanna know, how uh... how long ya' think this is gonna last?~"...Ah'm so sorry...">MY VICTORY AWAITS!
>>43497957>Applejack"Shining Armor"~~~"Hey, Applejack? I have a question.">Yes, Ah'm above you. Yes, it's different. No, Ah'm not changin', this here's mah' castle."I take it you're not feeling charitable.">And Ah' take it ya'll are here for yer' kid?"Which one?">Ah' hate that ya'll can ask that."Because you're used to just the one?">Because it means there's more questions comin'!"Ehhhh... maybe not. Look, all I really want to know is whether it was your uncle or your aunt that, I dunno, became an orange? You have an uncle and aunt orange, so was he your dads brother? Was she his sister?">What makes ya' think they weren't from mah' mom's side? Mom's family went ta' Vanhoover, it would make sense if one split off to make their fortune in Manehatten and likewise got disowned by a jerk."Is... is that what happened?">Possible."Is that not what happened?">Possible."Are they actually related to you or do they just show up at family reunions?">Possible."...did you never ask?">...possible."Really?">Ah' didn't know mah' mom wasn't originally named Buttercup mah' whole dang life, do ya' really take me for the type ta' ask too many questions?"...">Don'tcha friggen say it."I don't need to, you can hear her too, right?">We both know we can hear the bitter, angry laughs..."Soooo-">So yer' kid is hiding behind the curtain and waiting for her royal entrance."OH! Flurry! You meant Flurry before, okay.">..."By chance have you also seen the other alicorn-">Ah' will have you snipped."They... they're already here-">RETROACTIVELY.
>>43498186>>RETROACTIVELY.We call that a coat hanger and a murder charge.
I always avoided these threads back in the day because screw generals, but this is pretty fun. Was it always like this? I might hit up desuarchive and look at how this went back in the day. No idea who AJ2 is, but she seems fun
>Was it always like this?Depends on what you mean. Mostly full of one shot sillies about what's wrong with Equestria? Very much so. ONLY that? Not at all, it actually built off into a contained story with multiple writers adding onto it over the years. >I might hit up desuarchive and look at how this went back in the day.This is where the story starts. Lots of stuff that gets thrown at the wall here doesn't stick, but if you decide to check it out you'll see the story start to build. No anon in the actual story if you're curious. desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/15714689/>No idea who AJ2 is, but she seems funShe's a hell of a story in an of herself. >>43487273 is one of her many pics if you're curious.
>>43498888Whoops, meant to quote >>43498876, but I did get quads...
>>43498186>Applejack"Flurry Heart"~~~"Princess Applejack! I return with another-HEY! Don't put me down here! I am the Firstborn Alicorn!">And Ah'm pretty sure Ah' retired at some point. "HRMPH! Well, I shall overlook this slight for this one occasion, as I must know the truth of my ultimate fate as foreseen in your trip to the future!">Or other dimension, it was screwy."What became of me?">...dunno."Dunno!?">Ya'll didn't get mentioned, like, once. Not one time. Which is pretty dang weird cause yer' dad got a photo and yer' mom and dad together got a picture in a magic room. How did the photo survive? No idea. What was the magic room all about? Can't tell ya', it cut off before Ah' found out anything about it. There is a northern batch of shimmering ponies who are all unicorns, but they were ruled by an evil cat thing that showed up recently, no mention of an alicorn and Ah'm pretty sure if there was, ya'll could just... shoot the cat thing. It was not an impressive cat thing."So... am I... dead in that timeline?!">Possible, or maybe ya' never got born or were born but for some cosmic reason nobody is allowed to talk about it. You know, one of those things you can only mention on the HUB before turning to Discovery."The what!?">The Hub? Ya' know, the center where all that activity happens. It's a dang definition, which you'd known if you turned to Discovery like Ah' told you!"That school name caused my aunt to twitch.">Only cause it's so smart!"So... I'll never know what became of me?">That, sugar cube, is a story you'll find... yer'self."Huh...">...there's a not zero chance ya' went evil or died by dragons."What?">Ah' said absolutely nothin' and if ya' heard mumblin' ya' heard wrong."...right.">Sooooo, feel better?"No!">That's alright, Ah' never felt better after mah' questions got answered neither."What is wrong with this world!?">Less of it than used ta' be, little girl, less of it than used to be...
>>43498888>>43498891Thanks, man. I'll check it out.
>>43499040Sweet, enjoy the ride
>Applejack"Discord"~~~~~Snap!"Well hello, Applejack! How nice to see you, and answering questions again I hear! I thought you gave that one a rest?">Eh, it'll pass."Oh ho! So doom and gloom, and probably correct. And-wait did you get over me!? How!? I can literally bend reality! I should be up there!">Leftover power."Drat and double drat, curse you finale! Well then! I shall merely ask my question and be on my way!">Don'tcha know everything anyway?"Clearly not, I don't even know how I work half the time when the show calls for it.">Kinda lazy."Chaos! The ultimate get out of explaining card! Here you go!"He gives her a card made of apples.>Haw."Anyway, I was just wondering what the immigration paperwork for my reality looks like?">Head on down the hall to the left, sixth building on the right, second window, say ya' want Immigration Form C dash oh oh three, then for the subsection tell them if ya' wanna import someone from there to Equestria, export to their realm, or if this is concerning goods and or services, they got different paperwork for each of those. Then you'll have to send it up to be reviewed, Ah'll make a priority of it iffin' ya' want, should be able to stamp it out approved or denied and send it yer' way in no time at all. Iffin' ya' got a specific question the folks at the counter are the best way to answer since they'll supply the needed form for what'cha got, but iffin' ya' wanna know certain things Ah' spose Ah' can just help ya' out a bit."...Y.. you really finished an entire legal framework for my chaos dimension?">Yep."Complete with import and export restrictions.">Listed and finalized."Do I have to pay taxes?">Not Equestrian soil."Aha! So I have to pay to travel!">We don't charge entry fees for the country, otherwise the dragons would revolt during the migration. It's easier just to charge you taxes on the goods, services and housing used here in the actual country than worry about trying to keep everyone out when several dozen other species can fly or, in yer' case, teleport."Oh... uh...">Got anymore questions?"More... terrified that this legality has completely destroyed my home dimension with order.">Pity, now who will Ah' call to not save the day and instead lecture me about not relying on your power?"...in fairness that was a whole other universe.">Don't rightly know what'cha mean, Ah' was just speakin' in them thar generalizations us country folk like ta' indulge due to our simple, not cosmically powered minds."...it's alright, I'm not showing up in that show either probably."SNAP>...worth it.
>>43490759>>43490836>>43493159This just cracks me up
>>43499124Bad Shiny Bad ShinyWhat'cha gonna do when she snips at you
>>43499124SHINY RUN
>>43499124Wait a goddamn minute, did she MAKE them serrated!? Did she chip that shit herself? Hedge sheers are not serrated! And even if they were, they'd be uniform serrated! The fuck did she snip before this, razor wire?Applehorse might've been a little upset following the Salt revelation.
>>43499124>>43499149I'm more confused on why she's trying for the snips now. Ship has sailed, girl!
>>43499149This is Endgame Shiny. Clearly >>43499124 is the result of her trying and failing to cut his BALLS OF STEEL
>>43499124>Applejack"Shining"~~~~"Hey, Applejack? I gotta question.">Feel free ta' ask away, Shining! Ah'm just gonna keep snipping this iffin' ya' don't mind.Snip snip."...are those shears serrated?">Nah, don't be silly! These here are just mah' trusty shears, ya' know Ah' don't like throwing anything out. Seen their fair share of branches, Ah' reckon! Brought down many a growth that got just a little outta control, ya' know? Sometimes somethin's just pokin' out just a bit too far, and droppin' fruit where it shouldn't be droppin'. So ya' just need ta' take that wily thing and give it a nice, quick... snip."That makes sense.">Just orchard care, ya' understand, gotta control where the seeds are goin'."Yeah, you would, wouldn't you? Good gardening tips!">...occasionally Ah' gotta get a root and cut it too, ya' know. More dangerous, but if ya' wanna prevent that earth from breaking and someone getting hurt, has to be done."Wow, I am learning a lot about farm care. Thanks, Applejack!">...snip snip"Hee hee, it makes a little tinky noise when the teeth hit.">...Gonna demonstrate real quick.Her horn glows, and wheels in a plant from inside the room. One with a very odd shape. Very long, and slender, with two round bushes at the end.>See this?One snip and the bushes drop to the ground.>That's what Ah' meant."Did you have to cut your plant for the demonstration? Can't just just make that grow with your magic?">Keep talkin' blasphemy and Ah'm gonna stop hesitating."I just didn't want you cutting your plant, it looked cool!... weirdly familiar too, where have I seen it...">...screw it, Ah'm just gonna-There is a flash of colors, and Applejack screams as she's tackled through the floor by a multitude of forms who would rather she not."APPLEJACK!... Corndogs! That was it! It looked like a corndog! Oh wow that was a throwback, when's the last time I even-"Boom down below."OH SHOOT!... this might be my fault."
>>43499124>>43499256>...TWILIGHT!?~If we're gonna do throwback jokes let's just fucking go for it, right?~
>>43499120The Princess of Chaotic Order
>>43499256>>43499351Kek, good one
>>43499256>>43499351SMACK"OW!... LUNA!? What was that for!?"(We have been informed of throwback jokes, and we took our opportunity to remind thee we did not much care for thee!)"...ow."
>>43500263>Cadence"Applejack"~~~>Jokes on you, I still almost never have sex with anyone! HA! In your FACE, running joke! I never lost pace!"...seriously?'>Just be happy I'm not one of those crappy versions that cheat on him."Ya' know what? Fair enough."
>>43500587>Chrysalis"Applejack"~~~~>Applejack! I have found my old dictionary, and I have a question!"Gaddang it!">And that question is... do you accept sorry cakes?"...what.">Yeah, when you called me a Cockalorum I peed in your morning drink for like, a week."WHAT!?">But turns out that actually does represent me pretty well, HAH!"Chrysalis!">Hey! I have advanced as a character, okay? I fully accept I am, indeed, "a boastful and self-important person; a strutting little fellow", as it is so described. I want praise here, I accepted I'm a little boastful sometimes, and I do strut! I'm big enough to admit that."Ah' drank that, Chrysalis! Ah' friggen drank that!">Listen, you're being a bit of a...flip fiip>Smellfungus. Big Smellfungus energy from you is what I'm saying. I'm no...flipflipflipflip>... Mumpsimus! I am not one of those, anymore! And you shouldn't be one either!"AH'MMA BREAK YER' COCCYX!">Stop making up words!... Flipfiip>No wait nevermind I was wrong-OH NOCRACK>SHINY HELP
>>43500794This literally could be a thread 2 repost and I would not be able to tellNailed it
>>43500587For being a comedic take on the show, PA is strangely wholesome
>>43501133Depressing as it is to think about, but I feel like a lot of that was just the writers and readers and lurkers just wanting something new and different, and a story where Applejack had common sense and used it, Celestia made regular mistakes and wasn't a tyrant, Cadence wasn't sex crazed and Shining wasn't a wimpy cuck was wildly different than the rest of the board.We stumbled onto the folks who LIKED the show and who poked fun at it just to setup a joke and then fix it. They liked that there was a married couple who were super into each other romantically but wanted to make fun of "Kids show so obviously nobody has sex". They liked that Celestia was well meaning but hey, 1000 years is 1000 years, shit happens. And most importantly, they liked that the Mane Six were very best friends. It was different, and that was enough.
>>43501180You can tell a lot of early /pa/ was just "Not what the rest of /mlp/ was doing".Anon everywhere else? Well we're only gonna use ponies! Luna is a gamer? Well we're gonna have her not even play games besides Mahjong! Molestia, Tyrantlestia and Mommylestia on the front page? Well she's a well meaning permavirgin due to comedy here! Applejack only cares about Apples? Well this here Applejack is more caring about delivering some good old common sense thank you! Cadence is Princess of Sex who cheats on Shining? Well this is the Princess of LOVE who never has sex with anyone and loves Shining! Shining is obsessed with Corndogs and getting cucked? Well this Shining is more obsessed with making the CE great again and not getting cucked! Changeling OC's all have bug part related names? Well ours are numbers! Just numbers!... you get the idea.
>>43501230Heh, Luna as a Gamer, remember that? She was friends with Derpy too. It was only a couple years ago-ohdeargod
>>43501258I followed the desu link to the original thread, saw it was January 2014, and instantly crumbled into dust.
>>43501273If Two was 6 in the original thread and we followed real-time she would be STARTING COLLEGE right now.ItHurts.
>Applejack"Starswirld the Bearded"~~~"Ahem, Princess Applejack? I have an inquiry for you.">...keep forgettin' yer' just walkin' around now, pony of legend just comes and goes."Is it the lack of beard? I don't know why I have a short beard. Every single depiction I have before this has a huge beard, I'm literally named "The bearded", but it's just a short thing?">Lazy is what it is."But that's irrelevant, I really just wished to know due to the recent ascensions-">Ah' absolutely would if Ah' could. That ya' aren't is a really weird oversight."I thank you, but apparently that isn't necessary, I'll do it myself if you'll assist me.">Beggin' yer' pardon? How do you plan ta' do that?"Why, the same way your friend did, of course. Apparently Princess Twilight ascended merely from completing one of my spells.">...A...ah... right..."Very odd, isn't it? I completed dozens if not hundreds of spells myself! Including my spell to send one back in time, and I even solved the paradox conundrum by creating a stable time loop with the spell! But apparently that one just wasn't as impressive as it seemed. Oh, the irony of apparently being sucked into Limbo just before I could complete the one spell that would make me an alicorn. Fate is quite cruel sometimes.">Right, but uh... Twilight already completed it."Exactly! So I just need to see her notes real quick, finish the spell myself, and away I shall go! Or fly, rather. Eh?">Ah' mean Ah' think that was just who completed it first."...Applejack, that is ridiculous, are you implying the completion merely unlocked some sort of reward that only works once?">Kinda seems that way."But, I completed dozens! Dozens! And I never received such a reward!">Guess it was just the one?"...you're fooling with me, aren't you?">Ah' wish Ah' was this is a very uncomfortable conversation."You're telling me, that Twilight, FINISHING my spell that I almost entirely made, is more deserving of ascension than my near completion of it and finishing dozen other spells!?">...Ah' guess?"...">Sorry."...This is for not lifting that spell that would let you finally mate, wasn't it, Celestia?"~I CAN NEITHER CONFIRM NOR DENY!~>Ah' knew it would be all her fault somehow!
>>43501334>SA"Celestia"~~~~~>Shouldn't you rectify that now that your "Problem" is solved via godshifting shenanigans and lawful marriage?"Yeahhhh, soooo, when I fixed myself and the whole universe following the dustup, I um... maybe forgot to fix my whole "Sing in white room" power. It's still broken. I still can't make ponies alicorns after my... regrettable choice of white unicorn ascension.">Ah."...I know what you're going to say.">I'm not-"And I would like to bribe you not to say it. If you do not let that out of your mouth, I will let something in mine.">...Hmmhmm."Good choice.">...mmmmyeahhh-Click~Oh, hey Shiny, ya' usin' mah' bathroom again? Ah' thought ya'll cut that out after...~>...~Is that a flowing mane in yer' lap?~>..."Nuh?"~...well at least ya' ain't on her back this time...~>I'm sorry.~No yer' BUCKIN' NOT!~"Showwy."~ITS ALL YER" FAULT!~
>>43499256>>43499351>>43500587>>43500794>>43501334>>43501612All we need is a Charity gag and we've got ourselves a proper hit job.
>>43501279Holy shit, it's really been that long
>>43501847>Spike"AJ"~Others~~~~~~Bzzt bzzzt.... bzztt.CLICK>Yellow, you've reached Spike the Dragon.~WHAT THE FUCK!?~~GAHHHH!~"Howdy, Spike. How's the diplomacy goin' with the Diamond Dogs?">Went perfect, I found the group Pennydrop had been selling weapons to and figured we could use the betrayal for an in, they seemed to think I was representing the dragonlands at first. You know how it is."Hope ya' corrected them.">Of course.~OH FUCK OH FUCK!~~NOT THIS WAY!~>On the way to the main station now, I had to take a bus."A what?">It's like a train car, but they're only pulling the one down some line in the city streets."Ohhh, like the Manehatten tram.">I don't know what that is. I didn't get invited."Riiiight... whelp, keep me updated.">Paperwork shall be filed oh paperwork Princess."Haw! Never change, Spike, never change.">Too late for that one... too late.Click.~SWEET BITCHES, MOVE!~>Will you guys calm down? It's long range communication! I know this must seem weird to you guys out here but I have a way to contact others miles away.~THEN WHY DON'T YOU USE THAT INSTEAD OF THE LOADED GUN!?~>Th... oh.He look down at Charity, and noticed the hammer was still cocked back.>...I'm not changing it, it's cool.~DON'T POINT IT MY WAY!~>Don't tell me how to live.
>>43501279>Two~~~~This summer.>Well everybody, time fer' mah' next adventure...The next step in education, begins.>AT EMPIRE UNIVERSITY! And it's as much an Empire as the rest'a the place!Applejack Two will make discoveries that will shake her world.>Wait, the mitochondria is the powerhouse of tha' cell!?... Ah' knew that! Forty Two knows all bout powerhouses!She'll make relationships that will test her resolve.>Hi there! That's a nice shirt ya' got, but ya' should know Ah' know a Queen who did a revolution too and she informed me why the concept is a bad idea.She will be pushed to her absolute limit, both physically...>WHEEEE!... what? Ah' live with an airforce captain, Ah'm in great shape. WHEEEEEE!And mentally.>Zzzz... zzz... hm? Oh, ya' think Ah' was studyin'? Nah' Eighteen taught me time management!.... zzzz...And she will discover heartbreak.>WHAT'CHA MEAN MAH' GOLDFISH DIED!?... Get the camera out mah' face, Ah'm sad! It was plastic how did it die!? MOMMY AH' NEED CUDDLES!And she will discover what it means... to grow up.>Mister cameramare? Might wanna move, Shiny's uh... havin' a cry.THIS SUMMER!>School starts after that.TWO GOES TO COLLEGE!>...this here's been pretty normal-GREAT BUGGIN GRAVY THAT GUYS NAKED!Rated R!
>>43501279Heartwarmingly depressing... That being said, what would Two Study in collage?
>>43502689Oh shit, the autoupdate failed me.>Ah'm sad! It was plastic how did it die!?Hah!
>>43502808Friendship studies obviously. Majoring in love and Princess studies
>>43502808Actual agriculture, science, engineering, and medical practice because she’s got some critical thought you know. She’s an Applejack!
You fools have obviously forgotten the most importantest of things for her to learn... The Culinary Arts... then using the power of love and TWIENCE she will make... The PERFECT MALLY>OH BUGGIN BRITCHES WHERE DID IT ALL GO WRONG!?!?!?"Of course, its was always going to be YOU who I must defeat for the good of the Realm, Sister!">Now is NOT the time! Grab ah mop or something! "Fiend! You will not trick me into- Oh, wow it's getting REALLY big... Did it just EAT the desk!?">Ah should of known I took after Caddy in the kitchen! IT'S ALL MAH FAULT!
>>43502942Perfection
>>43502942>Ah’ knew this was gonna happen. Ah’ also went through a valley girl phase just like Mommy and Auntie Twi. It’s just genetics ya’ know!Flurry just stares
>>43503187Shining watching in mounting horror as his sweet and innocent Two unironically joins in on a Scary Movie-esque "Maaaaaaaaaaaaaaarefriend!" Chrysalis joins in just for fun and Celly's mouth is beginning to twitch in a very non sexy mouth way.
>>43503223But his nails are going to look FABULOUS
>>43502942>>43503187I bet she does have their genetics by this point, and I mean that literally. Because changeling
>>43503223>Two"Twi"'Cadence'~Chrysalis~(SA){???}~~~~>MAREFRIEEENNNNDDDD"MAREFRIEEENNNNNDD!"'GURRRLLLLL!'~GURRRRLLLLL!~>NAHHHHHH!"YAHHHHHHH!"'NOWAAYYYYYY'~WAIIIIIIII!~(Mother of Faust... it's... it's...){Marefriennnndd!}(OH DEAR BUGCAKES IT'S SPREADING!)CRASH!{Shiny, Ah' was kiddin'! Dang it Ah' was kiddin'!...}>OH GUURRLLLL YA' WANNA PAINT THAM NAILLLLS!?{...Ah' do.}>"'~MAREFRIEENNNNNDDDD!~'"
>>43503463>Flurry"Two"~>HRPMH! How demeaning, how unbefitting a royal! As if I would ever wear such gaudy decorum! BEHOLD! I have adorned the Royal Headdress of the Crystal Empire royal line!"...didja do it yer'self?">I don't see why that's relevant. "...Wanne ta' do yer' hair?">No."...">...Maybe."...">...finefrassa-"MAREFRIENNNDDDDDDD!">ABSOLUTELY NOT!
>>43502460I will always remember the Rarity Altverse mini where she pulls out her gun to talk to “Charity” and almost shoots AltShyPeak comedy
>>43503446>Because changelingI miss that running gag.
>>43503959I miss a lot. I really and truly do. /pa/ ruined me on a lot of things. I can't read Cadance and Shining anymore without being let down that they're not Caddy and Shiny... Celly too.Chrysalis hits every so often but mostly misses.I don't know how to proceed sometimes, but I do anyway. I wonder if this is what being "alpha widowed" feels like, if it is, it sucks.
>>43504020Nothing hits the same...
>>43504020It was special
>>43504797I regret we only had one scene of her on the farm
>>43502875Friendship studies? This some kind of school of friendship?
Is it back?
>>43505309It could honestly come back, but it wouldn't be entirely the same. Some people have probably fucked off by now forever. Sad. And it doesn't even need to be a dedicated writer or anything. Random voices of reason, spring boarders, people who've shifted things with a stray comment. Not everyone is here anymore and while we probably could chug along, there might be to many gone for it to work long run. Short burst like this though, definitely.Honestly I think we should do anniversary threads like this. One for the day it was born and one for the day that it... retired.Plus when the new show starts, we'll have content to work with.
>>43505070Indeed! Headed by a unicorn foe of Twilights who once almost destroyed the world trying to remake it in her own image. You know, Sunset
>>43505327I really like the idea of having two anniversaries threads a year, it would be perfect, helps how they would be months apart from each other.Hey, is anyone interested in something like a site archive for /pa/? Something similar to what one kind Anon over at /aj/ made for the thread. Maybe like another way to have the threads archived? What you guys think?https://mlpapplejack.neocities.org/
>>43505327Ah just one thread? Alright.
>>43505331You made me go back and read that story for a smile. I then continued on to the last thread, just to see it. I came across a story, and now I have to apologize for this next post.>>43505557Looks interesting though I don't know how this works?
>>43505596>Applejack"Shining Armor"'???'~???~~~~~~It was quite a sight, for the many onlookers, rubberneckers and brazen paparazzi. Shining Armor, Prince of the Empire, standing at the entrance to the illustrious Crystal Castle, holding one of the monstrous gates as if he were just an average neighbor answering the door. Opposite of him was the common sight and much beloved Princess of Equestria, Applejack. Those two things would be odd enough, both the sight of Royalty answering their own door as if to greet a salesmare and the Princess of an entire nation standing there with all the energy of someone who must inform the homehowner they had run over the family cat.>Ah'm sorry.What really broke the onlookers of all shapes and sizes was those standing between the two. One of the pair was a lavender unicorn with a striped mane and a wide grin. Much more attention grabbing was the white Alicorn baby she was holding up in front of the Prince like a prize won at a carnival."...so that's why my Guards said "Nope, we quit, answer your own door" and leapt out the window. I genuinely thought it was the Mormoons again.">Ah'm sorry."Mind explaining?">So... ya' know Starlight Glimmer, Ah'm sure.Said unicorn grinned wide as her name was spoken."We're acquainted.">What'cha probably didn't know, cause on account of all of us keeping it a secret for obvious reasons, was-'I DEMAND CHILD SUPPORT!'There were gasps, there were cries, and there was more than a few cries of betrayal that they had not been allowed into the polygon as they'd taken to calling it. The pain of being skipped would linger for many of them, for all of time."I beg your finest juiciest pardon?">Yeah, so, she figured out-'To a paternity test! You'll come back the father, go on, do it! We both know you're genetically the dad! HA! I found a loophole!'>Loophole, me not even imaginin' Ah' would have to write laws around interdimensional couplings producing children, one or the other. In all honesty Ah' should've probably had it in the books after Ah' found out that fella was doodlin' like he was a failing art student, but Ah' was mighty occupied. And since the stuff we have on the books only mentions genetic matching and legal name for proving parentage to make them eligible for child support, uh... it's lookin' like...Shining Armor did not move. He did not even blink. He did nothing at all but stare at the baby in front of him who was currently trying to lick it's chin. This went on far longer than most were comfortable with, and thus the bathroom situation clearly spiraled out of control.'So, seeing as it's based off net worth, will you be making out the money in checks or in giant rolling piles of treasure? I'm flexible. As is my bank account, it can expand quite far as you'll soon find out.'"...M'kay."It was the calmest madness any had ever seen."Honey! We're adopting another one!"'Wait what.'1/2
>>43505600~What's that, Shiny?~"Another kid! We're getting another kid!"'What?!'~Another one!? Shiny, we already have plenty of them! Finish what you have on your plate before you get another one, mister!~"Sorry my honeybloosom, my alternate universe self sired a child in this universe and I must take responsibility for his failings universe wise."~BASTARD!~"She knows who he was, love-bomber."~I meant her! That purple jerk got pregnant!? How did it survive the frankly abusive level of assault Sunwife did?~"Alicorn, honeybunches!"~You know that should've been obvious now that I think about it, sugarshiny.~"I wasn't descriptive enough, love of my life, I'm sorry."~Well alright, I suppose we can use the unused room we were saving for Chrysalis's hypothetical kid.~"This does feel earlier than that point in the timeline, yeah."~Oh oh oh! Can I name this one Cadence Two?~"I think this one came with a name."~Is it a less cool name?~"She hasn't mentioned it yet."~...We're keeping Cadence Two on the table.~"Anything for you, my darling... ahem. Applejack? How soon can we begin full custody litigation?"Applejack stared. Starlight gaped. The baby giggled.'WHAT!? WHAT WHAT WHAT!?'>...This here ain't how Ah' thought it was gonna go either.'WHAAAAAAAAANEXT TIME, ONEQUESTRIA CUSTODY COURT
>>43505600>Salt SpawnApplejack might really need to start peeking into adjacent universes... Who knows how many pools he's been dipping his non-sexy hooves into... There are at least TWO EQG-Universes that need checking... just in case.
>>43505603They have fought in all sorts of battles, but can they win the toughest legal battle of all?
>>43505557Huh, so like the wiki but different? Seems interesting
>>43505327>Some people have probably fucked off by now forever.That one whiny guy from the Anniversary did complain /pa/ "Didn't even engage with the rest of the board!" or whatever.>>43505557>Cleaner Wiki with more flairI can dig it.
>>43505603peak
>>43505765>That one whiny guy from the Anniversary did complain /pa/ "Didn't even engage with the rest of the board!" or whatever.We were self contained, not isolationist, we just stayed in our lane... and cruised.
>>43505603>Applejack"Glimmer"(Shining){Celestia}~Judge~~~~~~"This wasn't how it was supposed to happen!"That summed up the last decade of her life quite nicely, Princess Applejack felt.>Really.That it also applied to her now, sitting on one of the two tables at the front of the courtroom, her two white longtime friends on one side and an alicorn infant in the middle, was hardly surprising. If anything she was more surprised both Shining Armor and Celestia herself hadn't ended up on that side of a litigation table against her before this. That the tall white alicorn lasted this long without applying for a restraining order was proof that somewhere within her was the patience to the point she could well have reached nirvana.>Ya' can't have thought they were just gonna give ya' one half of his entire royal paycheck, half of the subsidies from his many book deals and two movie deals, and a portion of his entire bank account just cause ya' asked, did ya'?"No! I thought he'd try to deny it and I would be able to pull victory from behind by citing the fact that Equestrian law doesn't discriminate against different forms of the same ponies across universes in regards to parental responsibility! I had a dramatic moment all set and ready to go! I didn't expect he'd want the kid!">...Ya'll lived through multiple lifetimes with the guy and ya' still said that?"I saw him be really, really bitter about stuff like that, yeah! So did you! You saw how he got when someone wrecked his nice homelife with a new addition, or hid stuff from him! Why would this one be any different?She didn't say anything in response, not verbally. Applejack just needed to look over her shoulder into the gallery of the courtroom, where among a large number of lawfully wedded mares lied a certain changeling with a familiar yellow mane adorned with a clown hairpin sat. She was holding many balloons in one hole ridden hoof swung out to the side, many of them proclaiming "HAPPY TO SEE YOU" and "CAN'T WAIT TO HUG YOU!", while the other hoof was stretched out wide in preparation of said hugging when it would commence. She did not make a sound, she did not make a move, for she was a good girl. But everyone knew, just from looking at her. The instant she got the chance, she was gonna hug that baby."I admittedly might've forgotten almost every detail of the Shining of this world due to constant time traversal that meant the last time I was even in this world was actual literal centuries ago.">Ah'm deeply offended ya'll could forget Two after any sort of time. Mah' ghost is gonna know what a Malley is.=ALL RISE!=The three alicorns and one unicorn did as instructed, along with the packed gallery, as a wizened old unicorn briskly walked in before taking his seat. After he was settled came a reprieve.~You may be seated.~1/3
>>43506089With the four settled in, the judge adjusted his glasses so he may look over the papers in front of himself better.~I must say I'm rather shocked this is our first meeting, Princess Applejack.~>Yeah, well, we didn't really get into the whole litigation thing outside of Chitania, and those were all settled with backroom deals cause we just love our drama round here. Ya' know? We probably should'a done one of these at some point, Rarity if nothin' else probably should'a gotten sued like, three times.In the back came a "HEY!" that was swiftly ignored.~Regardless, I must again point out the conflict of interest with you representing miss Starlight Glimmer, seeing as you are close friends with the other side and she did try to kill you.~>Well yer' honor, as Ah' mentioned during the filing of this case, we have run into an unfortunate issue wherein there doesn't actually exist someone she didn't try ta' kill and someone who ain't at least a little appreciative of Shining Armor, we're down ta' trying to find lawyers who hate themselves and hate reality and wish she'd just destroyed it all.~That's not a narrow list.~>Who also are public defenders and not ridiculously wealthy.~...very well.~>Ah'll do mah' best here, Ah' can at least be honest about that. Ah've got the proper license ta' practice and passed the bar exam.(WHEN!?)>Some of us ain't gotta look after a bunch of kids and can have hobbies, Shining!... also Ah've already lived through six different ponies becoming lawyers in someones brain. True story."I did that.">She did that.{Wish I could've done that. I had to do it the hard way four times because the whole foundation of our legal system kept changing!}>Iffin' it's changing, ya' signed off it it, so don't that mean it's all yer' fault?{Judge I would like to pass a motion saying she's not allowed to say that phrase anymore.}~Denied.~{... friggen saved the world no respect...}>Back to the matter of mah' representation, friad Ah'm the best yer' gonna get, but iffin' you can find a replacement I will step down. Sorry, Shining.(I won't hold it against you, good on you for seeing to the unrepresented!)>This is gonna be a hard win.~Hm... very well. In that case, you may proceed with your opening statement.~>Ah' thank ya'. Ahem, yer' honor, we're goin' to prove that Starlight Glimmer here is in fact the child's mother, and has been caring for it while incarcerated this entire time and has never once shown any inclination to cause it harm, and as a result it would be cruel and unusual to separate them.The court waited for more. It never came.>Yep...She sat back down."Really.">What did Ah' miss, oh fountain of knowledge?"Bring up how powerful I am! How gifted I am! How strong I am! What I was able to do!">As yer' lawyer Ah'm gonna advise you stop bringing up aspects that will remind the judge that you almost destroyed the world."...just the once!"2/3
>>43506095~Very well. Celestia, your opening statement?~{Gladly, your honor! Ahem. Judge, today I will demonstrate that the pony who tried to destroy our world, tried to kill her own representative, tried to turn me into a statue for all of time, mocked us to our faces as reality unfolded, and is currently incarcerated due to the fact she birthed a dark god that broke into heaven itself in between her numerous crimes against time and space, makes her unfit to raise this child who is in an of itself a potential weapon of mass destruction being an alicorn birthed from said dark gods own seed. Instead full custodial rights should belong to the Stallion who saved, in no particular order, Canterlot, The Crystal Empire, Equestria, The World, and Reality itself.}She took her seat, and the courtroom went silent."So, uh... how do you think my chances look? The system favors mares in this, right?"All save the thump of a hat ridden head hitting her table."I like our chances."
>>43506089>>43506095>>43506098Ooooooh, that's the stuff.
>>43506098Yeah man, I think they should just let Two hug her new sibling already lmao
>>43506199No no, its like Murry or Jerry, shes in the back already holding her while all this goes down. And now Flurry gets to be on the receiving end of baby alicorn induced problems!
>>43506230>Shining… You ARE the father!“… do you know what a custody battle is?”
>>43506230>And now Flurry gets to be on the receiving end of baby alicorn induced problems!>Flurry"???"~~~~~>Never forget, others! I am the one! True! FIRSTBORN ALICORN-ZAP>OW!"Bweeeheheeee!">Ow! That hurt! That really hurt! And you're laughing, that just made me feel worse because it seemed like you were enjoying it! That doesn't make me feel good, that makes me feel sad that you wanted to hurt me and it felt good! You shouldn't do that! It's not funny! It's... Oh dear Faust I get it...
>>43506098>Applejack"Glimmer"~~~The term Hail Mary had not yet entered into the wider Equestrian Lexicon yet, in spite of the effort of Sunset Shimmer so anyone else would get her jokes, but it was without question living and thriving in spirit in this moment. >So... ya' got anything for me here? As nutty as it is, Ah' actually am trying.It was really the only way to embody that sense of dread when her "Client" stared at her during a quick recess called after one of the ponies in the gallery had laughed so hard they needed medical attention. She hadn't asked for it, she hadn't caused it to happen, but by the fetlocks of Faust, Applejack was going to use every second of it."Okay, so... there might be some overlap, there might not, but I do know many, many, many illegal things he did! So if we leverage what he told me of events that happened before the wedding, we should find just enough actual crimes to get him put into doubt! Which one should we start with? Serious or embarrassing?"The orange hoof came to a stop on her face, and it did nothing for the ringing in her head."Shameful stuff it is! I have three occasions he peed in the water fountain-">Glimmer?"Which ones? I can narrow them down-">Ya'll got any proof of these crimes, sides hearsay?""Well... I mean, not the ones here. Oh oh! You think we should show the warcrimes from that universe? That'll really put them in doubt! One glimpse of him dusting that cat guy and boom!">...couple things."Can we shave that down? We're running out of time.">First off, iffin' ya' can't point to a crime he's convicted of, they can't use it against him."...not even the time he farted on an old lady who died?">Was the flatulence the reason?"Not officially, buuuut...">Then no, we can't. We can only use stuff that's on the record, because everything else is an investigation we would have to launch and, until proven guilty, he's entirely innocent of."...even the dusting? Wow, you guys have weird laws-">Wrong. Universe. GLIMMER."I thought we established that didn't matter.">In Paternity suits! Not in war crimes! And that's because of a dang oversight!"Ah. I see. So, only stuff he's done wrong and on the books?">Still no."Why not!? We need to show he's unfit?">How's about this, Ah'll set a scale and iffin' ya' can tip it, we'll go with yer' plan."Deal!">Alright, here's a side of the scale that says "Convicted of almost killing the entire gaddang universe", now you put what'cha think he's done that's gonna even that out."...it was just the once!"1/2
>>43506700>Glimmer please. Ah'm trying to help you here. Ah'm legally required to try to help you here, but ya' put yer'self in a bad spot."Well, you should've warned me! I thought worse case scenario is I get less money, not less kid! Where were you, then!?">Behind you! Going "Glimmer this is a bad idea. Glimmer this isn't gonna work. Glimmer he's gonna turn it back on you. Glimmer he's smarter than that. Glimmer he don't even know the kid exist. GLIMMER STOP IT'S STUPID. GLIMMER NO. BAD STARLIGHT GLIMMER.""You know, some of that does sound familiar.">And Ah' kept saying "Legally Ah' can't stop ya', legally Ah' have ta' take ya', legally yer' allowed to go that way and talk to him, legally Ah'm not allowed to stand in the way but Ah'm still making every turn and detour ta' give ya' more time to think about it!" And what did ya' do!?"Counted hypothetical money.">Ya' counted! Hypothetical! Money!"...it was a lot of money, though."Her hat would hold her screams. She could never let them out, lest they consume the world."Okay, fine! I have exactly one idea left that might get me out of this! Applejack... we need a paternity test.">...what."Well, the one who knocked me up was an alicorn, right? Genetically that has to be different! If we prove he's not biologically the same, the whole law is null on the matter! YES! This is it! This can work and-why are you looking at me like I was holding the baby and a shakeweight at the same time.">...Did'ja not look at his back?"He's wearing a costume, so what?">Glimmer."...WHEN THE FUCK DID THAT HAPPEN!?">Starlight. Glimmer."SON OF A BITCH!... Did you do that?">...Starlight."Helping the opposition! Mistrial! That means this whole thing is fubar and we just all go home, right?"In her mind, the shakeweight and horrifying image with it were gone. All that remained was a purple neck going up, and down, up, and down, and it's owner moving no more."...WAIT!">Too late."No! I have an idea! This can work!">Please no, let's just take the loss, say yer' sorry, say ya' wanna stay in the kids life and maybe we'll get every other weekend-Too late, the unicorn had leapt to her hooves."Your honor! Shining Armor is NOT THE FATHER! It was actually... HIS BIOLOGICAL TWIN!"The courtroom, many of whom had already been gathering their things for what they expected to be a short and entertainingly brutal session, were stricken silent.>...huh...Somewhere, a yellow unicorn pumped her hoof in pride and let out a "YEAHHHH" through clenched teeth, knowing that the spirit of the hail mary truly did live on.~SHHHH!~She also should know better than to make a sound in a courtroom.>Ah've heard dumber ideas.And, just as she had before, she was going to have to go along with them.
>>43506702You just know Chrysalis is going wild seeing a real life romance movie drama play out
>>43506996I can only imagine flying popcorn and giddy tap dancing. Also if the Doll doesn't make an appearance I'm gonna flip.
>>43506700>>43506702This is gold anon, my fucking sides
>>43505765>>43505941I had the idea that maybe we could get a panel going in one of the online cons from /mlp/ as a way to celebrate and show other anons how crazy fun the threads were
>>43506700This should somehow end with an Oprah style "And you get a bebe! And you get a bebe!" before AJ puts her hoof down.
>>43507627Goddess of fertility?
>>43506702>Applejack"Glimmer"(Shining){Celestia}~Judge~~~~>So, Ah' guess we're doing this now.They could see the gray hairs being born in real time, and they did not mean the ones on his already silver mane."That's right, your honor! He's not the father, it was his twin brother!"The prouder she sounded, the older he felt, and the more the courtroom began to twitch as if they're about to start cheering like a studio audience.(I'm sorry, what?){She does know she specifically went to you, right?}They were fortunate the judge had finished swallowing whatever unprofessional and very loud outburst he had been about to let loose, and they could only find a hint of it underneath the seemingly calm words that followed.~Miss Starlight Glimmer, do you really expect me to believe it has just struck you, this second, that the pony you marched all the way across the country for, who you then tried to gain monetary value out of, and who has had time to set up an entire custodial litigation, might be the wrong pony?~"No, your honor... I confirmed it! And I can prove it!"The sharp inhalation through his nostrils did not bring him the sudden brain overflow of oxygen he hoped, and he remained conscious for more of whatever had become of his day.~Proceed.~"Well, your honor, there is a camera next to me!"~It is not listening to your conversation, that would be a breach of confidentiality.~"Ahhh, but unless that camera has a very special magic indeed, it could not miss my sudden outburst of crying WHEN THE FUCK DID THAT HAPPEN!?"It was amazing, really. Both how loud she had gotten, and the sheer speed of two different sets of hooves and one set of magic covering precious ears who should not be subjected to such foul language. Unfortunately, Chrysalis remembered too late her species notable physical traits, and only hoped the words slipping in the holes in her hooves did not seep into Flurry's brain too deeply.~Your point, so loudly proclaimed, Miss Starlight Glimmer?~"My point your honor, is when did he get wings!?"The stallion in question subconsciously flapped his new appendages, giving out a little "Hee" with it like the dork he was."I'll have you know the Shining Armor that impregnated me was, in fact, one with a set of wings, which this one did not have at the time of my incarceration! Meaning it is totally feasible I would confuse a Shining Armor with wings with a completely different Shining Armor with wings when all previous Shining Armor's remained wingless! It just makes sense!"She looked so proud of herself, which would be odd if she truly had been confused. But the judge was, to his horror, following that logic down it's terrible path.~And no one informed you of his recent new acquisition?~"I like to think any actor would struggle with that profanity based outburst in the middle of a courtroom while their infant child is right next to them. Speaking of, you don't think they like... remember, do you?"1/7
>>43508147All the courtroom waited for a comedic outburst, only to find the babies sense of timing was apparently lacking. Only some were disappointed.=FUCK.=Flurry was forced to pick up the slack.(I should be mad, but honestly... it was a matter of time...)There was little hope they would prevent the coming terror of Flurry's Reign.>That was rather genuine, yer' honor.~And you expect me to believe that was her discovering this Shining Armor was, in fact, not the one she thought of previously, and the much more reasonable response that she just had somehow never noticed he had ascended?~"...T-that's more reasonable?"It hurt for more reasons than any would ever know.~Perhaps not to any I will tell this tale to, but to me, sadly.~"Well, you know, I am really sorry for this mixup which has clearly taken up a lot of time, and I am sorry to mister Shining Armor for implying he would cheat on his wife just because he happens to share his face with his twin."~Just to clarify, you're not confused if he actually has a twin brother, right? He does not, to clarify.~"Judge, if you have a better legal term for a pony who shares his exact genetics, looks, and genetic parents who was born on the exact same date, I would love to hear it. Because as far as I know the legal system doesn't recognize the distinction of familiarity across universes."The most brutal lessons were those taught while learning things in this world were just a bit stranger and just a bit dumber than expected.>She has a point, callin' him "His twin" is technically correct on a cosmic scale. Brother might be stretchin' it, though."Oh, he stretched it, and I can confirm he would be a brother."Everyone chose to ignore that.>Regardless, she's right, ain't the first time a twin has pretended to be their siblings and tried to shunt off responsibility to their kin.The legal headache was going to last until his eventual demise, the judge could just feel it.~You realize I'm going to be setting precedent with this, right?~>Ah'll get ta' work on untangling this when Ah' get back to mah' office, but seein' as we don't grandfather in crimes...~Really. Other universes, same ponies, how am I supposed to judge this? Prince Shining Armor has made his intentions for custody very clear, we have entered into evidence their statements, and now I have to consider this other fellow a completely different pony even though the legal system said I had to consider them the same at the start of all this? This is what you're asking of me.~>Well, it is the one most likely ta' win, and Ah' am legally required to give it mah' all.Finally, at long last, the judge turned to the pair of white royals on the other side.~Do you have anything to say about all this?~2/?
>>43508151They shared a look, those two. They'd been so quiet this whole time, so silent, that he hadn't even noticed they'd been tapping one another in such a way that could only be some form of communication. It was only when they reacted to being called and snapped back into place that he realized they had not been as idle as thought, and rather speaking so closely and so intimately they understood one another without another word. Internally, the judge reminded himself to pick up the box of chocolates with the little bit of wine in them on the way home, his wife loved those.{We do, your honor, and that is that... Starlight Glimmer is wrong.}"AHA! That could only be true if you slept with me->SHHH!"And we both know you're not-"(I did.)The court went dead silent in an instant, from the preening purple pony to the shushing country gal, all of them went as silent as the bottom of the sea."...what.">Now ya' done did it...Starlight listened as Applejack groaned, the look on her face making it clear she had been hoping not to push this particular button. At first she was ready to cry betrayal, mistrial, whatever it took to get her another go of it when she was so clearly failing. But it was the almost apologetic look that stilled her tongue and made her realize, yet again, she had deeply messed up.~Could you... clarify for your client, Celestia?~{Certainly, your honor! Well, first and foremost, we do need to establish this is quite the strange event, shouldn't we? It is, shall we saw, a fringe case on the edge of the legal system.}The deadpanned look told her no, she did not need to remind him. He knew. He would know when he had nightmares of this evening for years to come.{With that in mind, as we entered into evidence at the start of all of this, Shining Armor was key to saving the universe. Alongside myself and Applejack, of course.}"Irrelevant!">Shush already, yer' makin' it worse!{And since we brought that in and confirmed it as fact for the purposes of the court, then we also must accept the circumstances in which it occurred. Specifically the circumstances that allowed him to take the power used to save the world.}~And your point is?~{My point is, your honor, that at the time of the act that lead to the creation of this cutiewootiebigoltootie, Shining Armor was, in fact, spiritually and magically combined with Shining Armor.}Once again, the court went silent.~Are you... are you telling me...~(Your honor, I saw it all, I was part of it all, regardless of how much or little I wanted to be a part of it.)"HE DIDN'T SEAL YOU OFF DURING SEXYTIME!?"The sheer speed of closing ears was majestic to hold.+Dang it! Someone give me some corks or something!+Chrysalis forgetting her biology, less so."I call baloney! There is no way my Shining Armor would ever-"This time, Shining Armor took matters into his own magic himself, and sealed off little ears.3/?
>>43508153(Hoofrub on her shoulders, oral, reciprocal, sixty nine, sideways, cowmare, reverse, jerkplow, flip, full Nelson turned into ponystyle halfway, twist, finally her back to the floor in a full on mating press. Pretty sure that was the one that did it, but I can keep going the rest of the night if you need.)There was silence, cold silence, for a while, until BLAM>TARNATION YA' KILLED TWILIGHT!(...whoops, missed one.){Ahem, I feel that will be proof enough. As you can see your honor, at the time of conception he was at the moment combined into one singular being. And since genetically they are now the same...}The judge tried, he really tried, and for the most part he was successful. But it was the little failure, the slight squeak of pain when he tried to wrap his head around it all, that shook the court.~So, now I am to consider otherworldly beings that have merged into a singular being in matters of paternity.~{It appears so.}"Oh! But wait! Then we can get him on warcrimes!">Glimmer Ah'm gonna need you to start vetting things with me before ya' talk, cause otherwise-{The warcrimes in question were before the merger as can be easily and quickly proven, his only crime was being along for the ride during the assault on our world, and seeing as he personally put a stop to that? It would be very hard to imply he wanted any of it to happen.}>That. That might happen. Now ya' look worse, so please don't-"AHA! But then he didn't want the babymaking to happen either.">...So that's why Ah' never did these weird legal subplots...(Correct, I didn't.)"AHA! So-"{But you did know he was in there, right? You personally made it happen?}"...Applejack-">Ya'll ready entered yer' statement into evidence, ya' can't take it back now."Ah. I see,">Now ya' friggen ask me."...I do not recall?"(Well, I do, vividly. You put me in there and made me a part of it. So...)"...Applejack, is-">Tryin' to destroy the world is still worse, Glimmer."Just the once!"(I would like to state for the record it was not just the once for the thing I very much did not want to be a part of.)In the back, a certain Changeling Queen shuffled uncomfortably and everyone pretended not to notice.~And despite that, you still wish to gain full custody of the infant? Knowing the circumstances?~He made a show of pretending to think about it, coached by Celestia herself no doubt as much for the crowd as it was for the judge, before snapping back with a smile.(You know, your honor, I hope I can be trusted when I say I won't hold it against them. I do have a bit of history on the matter.)They laughed, just as the pair had hoped, and Glimmer began to sink."Oh no."It was hitting her."Ohhhh no."Things were going badly.4/7
>>43508156~...Very well. Well, since paternity can be confirmed in the... oddest of ways, I suppose it would be unfair if I didn't at least give you both a chance to speak of what you can bring to the table, and allow negatives on either side to be pointed out. Keep it civil, if you would, I've heard enough shouting matches for a lifetime.~{Thank you, your honor. Well! If you don't mind, we'll forgo any negative aspects of the mother, as we feel those have been established enough, and instead point out that as a wealthy individual with political pull, if this infant were to be brought into our custody, we would be able to provide first class housing, a loving family, and access to the finest education on the planet. Moreover, we are uniquely trained in rearing alicorns, you can say! Right down to changing their legendary diapers!}The crowd laughed, as she hoped.{With all that in mind, full custody for my client is the only correct choice, we feel. Thank you.}With that, she sat back down.~Very well. And Miss Starlight Glimmer?~Applejack gave an almost apologetic look as she stood up.>Yer' honor, while mah' client isn't as wealthy as Shining Armor, we feel we have provided enough evidence she is driven and she has excellent abilities as far as managing ludicrous amounts of power. She herself was an Alicorn for a brief time, and she has already changed plenty of diapers Ah' assure you.She didn't get the laughs she hoped for there.>Now, housing is a concern, we accept that, as she is currently living in a secure facility and if she is released she will be in provided housing due to lack of immediate job availability, but education is always gonna be provided to the best of Equestria's abilities.~Through public works, I assume?~>The best dang public works in the whole world, Ah' can attest.That at least got some chuckles, and for a brief moment her heart fluttered.>But more important, she brings a motherly care that comes with being the one that brought them into this world. For all her faults, the court cannot deny the importance of a mother being allowed to raise her child as best she can, and taking that away from her due to a lower wealth or social status sends a terrible message. We feel a mother, being one of a kind, can't be replaced, even if you can add another one somewhere along the way. We're asking for at least partial custody here, at the very minimum, though full custody as she has had up to this point is preferred. In exchange we're willing to waive the child support if that'll help keep her in the infant's life. Thank you.With that, she sat back down."Wow... you really did try."She sounded rather sad about the whole affair, almost shocked as she was bitter.>Told ya'. Gonna give it mah' all.For all she wanted to join her client in slumping, Applejack kept her back straight. Couldn't look sad in front of the judge, after all, what kind of lawyer would.5/7
>>43508157"Didn't ask me about waiving the child support though.">Hope Ah' didn't have ta'."No, I guess not. Thanks for at least trying to give me more time with them.">Least Ah' could do."...I really do love them, you know? They're going to be something.. special.">...Ah' know.~Well, I think I’ve heard enough, and am ready to render my verdict. In the matter of guardianship and custodial rights of the Infant in question, I find-~Right on cue, the doors to the courtroom slammed open.‘STOP!’Came the cry with the clattering of the guards who fell to the floor, failing in their duty to keep the doors sealed. The gallery watched in awe and in horror as none other than a dirty and torn stuffed doll in the likeness of Shining Armor flopped down the isle, rolling and tumbling over itself while leaving terrible streaks of mud and dirt in its path, before coming to a sudden and jarring stop directly next to the baby at the center of it all. The white alicorn, in turn, cooed with a feverish delight and grabbed hold of it, hugging it like a child would their father.(Oh my dear sweet holy Faust… it… it was alive. It was alive this whole time!?)“What the fu-”‘AHEM!’Few in number, but loud in gasp, were able to tear away from the sight of the seemingly living doll and upwards to the double doors that had just flung open. Their cries of disbelief broke the spell over them long enough join their gaze and find there waiting none other than the last pony any expected to see.{Shining Armor? Um… you’re here.}Shining Altmor.“HONEY!”She tried to leave her seat, only to be snatched back a mere instant before she would’ve been shocked by the bailiff. They do not play around with jumping ponies in this courtroom, too many hornstabs.‘That’s right, it’s me! And that… is my baby!’The crowd gasped, mostly. One certain changeling queen was having the time of her life.>….wait, where did the doll come from, then?‘Also me! I thought you all were in the Crystal Empire, for what I thought were obvious reasons!’>Glimmer’s an Equestrian Citizen and the baby was born here.‘Fair enough! But while running around there trying to find the right courthouse, I trip over that leg sticking out of the ground! At first I thought you buried Other-Me! But come to find out, it’s a doll like me that has a… you know! What’s up with that!? No, seriously, what was up with that? Was that me!? Like, me me, not him me? If it’s me me I’m in a lot of trouble here and need to know!’>Ah. Well, ya’ll should know-*WHICH ONE DO I SHOOT!?*The courtroom went into a frenzy as Cadence shot to her hooves and pulled out a gun from somewhere, already aiming at every Shining Armor, real or plush, in the room.‘EXCUSE ME WHAT!?’(OH NO! NOT AGAIN!)‘AGAIN!? THE LOVE YOU MEAN, AGAIN!?’5/7
>>43508160After pausing only to bubble every child in the room and his various spouses sans original, the Shining Armor of this world threw all pretenses to the wind and ducked behind the most bullet resistant anything he could find, which happened to be the table. It somehow did not prevent the pink pony from locking onto him briefly as she swung between the three white furry stallion bodies in the room.‘...B… but it has red hair-’BLAM went the gun, and the whole world stopped.*...YES! Two for two, baby! I knew I’d pick the right one! Love will always show me the way!*She was very proud of herself when the doll slumped over, smoke rising from the new bullet hole directly beside the original. The bubbled baby holding it, shockingly, did not seem to care and continued to cuddle it as if nothing happened.“...so, can we use that? I feel like my chances of getting my baby just went up.”{As if! You didn’t even defend your infant! We shall be taking custody to ensure it’s safety as we have shown!}>Anyone gonna, like, arrest her? Make her leave? She pulled a gun in a courtroom.“Yes I did! You just can’t see it because his shield is bigger!”{A likely story! But we-}‘Neither of you are getting the baby! I’ve come to this world for one reason! I’m taking MY baby home with me!’The courtroom gasped, and somewhere in all of that was a thunk of a head hitting wood.>...Judge, ya’ okay?He was not, and professionalism had finally reached its limits.>If it makes ya’ feel better, Glimmer…Into the podium, he screamed.>Yer chances did go up?
>>43508163Well, >>43507015 won’t flip, but I’m gonna fall over lagging every time I think of it now.>*WHICH ONE DO I SHOOT!?*Perfecto
>>43508163JERRY JERRY
>>43508163>Went from dialogue comedy to weirdly serious and understated to fucking insane out there comedyThat's /pa/.
>>43508163>Salt returnsHey neat>The Doll returnsFUCK YEAH>WHICH ONE DO I SHOOTLETS FUCKING GOOOOO
>>43508163>Applejack~~~~>Seriously dun dun dun and all that noise but she's gotta dang gun. Did she always have that? Who gave it to her? Why did it get let in? This is a courtroom... wait, do we got laws on guns in courtrooms?... Dang it we probably don't.
>>43508163It's nothing and everything I wanted all at once and you must take my money, just ALL MY MONEY!>>43508235I just came back from a 10 hour outing, my expectations were blown to smithereens I'm not even mad the oprah thing didn't happen. ALL MY FUCKING MONEY!!!!
>Applejack"Glimmer"'Salt'(Shining){Celestia}~Judge~*Cadence*~*PUT ME DOWN!*It wasn't the most surprising thing that happened today, and that truly spoke volumes of the poor mental state of this entire courtroom. They could only look on, gobsmacked, as Princess Rarity, surnamed Princess of Spite, dragged the Princess of the Love herself out of the court kicking and screaming in hoofcuffs.*It was the right thing to do! You don't know how deceptive that doll is!*Rarity, in turn, prepared to tell her to "Tell it to the judge", only to be reminded by the thunk of a head on a podium that, indeed, the judge had been told. Likely a different one would hear it again, admittedly, she knew how court cases worked like every middle class white pony with free time.*IT WAS WORTH III-*The door was shut, and there was silence.>...huh."Is Rarity, like a cop or something? Did I miss that?">She became essentially a Princess who polices the wealthy, yeah. Guess that counts for royalty?"...and she hasn't arrested all of you yet?">Guess she's figurin' "Starting from now, darling."."You are weirdly good at that.'AHEM.'Their attention finally taken back to the stallion marching down the isle, they could only stare as he went right up to the gate. Then stopped completely, in observation of courtroom etiquette regarding entering the well. Less to do with the idea that the bailiff seemed as though he could take on an alicorn solider, and more to do with someone having put the baby's high chair right in the front of the door.'First off? Poor placement, that's what that is right there, big negative mark on an otherwise pretty good universe.'(Oh yeah, it does look nice, doesn't it?){Very unconsumed by the forces of darkness.}'AHEM! I would like my baby back, please!'The judge just stared. Openly, brazenly, stared. And not because he was checking the stallion out, he had gotten that out of his system with the nicer version years ago.~So, let me get this straight. In addition to considering the argument of the biological mother who was the sole custodian a mere day ago, a father who is only a father due to cosmically melding with their alternate universe self against his will, I must now take consideration of the biological in control father who does not even live on this plane of reality? Am I getting that right.~As one, all five ponies shrugged. The baby was content just to keep hugging the dirty doll with a bullet hole in their head, as babies so often did.~Mister Shining Armor the second-~'Wait, why am I the second?'~I will dub you Shining the third if you interrupt me in my courtroom again.~He did not, for he wasn't that dumb despite contrary evidence.~As I was saying, mister Shining Armor, the second, am I to take it you now believe you deserve full custody of the child?~'Yes.'He could feel the headache begin to burn, and knew it would never end.1/3
>>43509313'In matters of the state regarding paternity the default is always to lie with the biological parents. So, as I am biological parent, I'll just be taking my child and going home-'"Wait, what!? Your home is in a whole other dimension! How am I supposed to visit them at all!?"'Same way I got here? It's not complicated.'"But that requires so much power and planning regarding paradox!"'Starlight, we have a kid, the whole paradox thing is already a huge issue no matter which end he lands on. This universe had a winged Starlight but no winged Shining at time of conception, my universe had a winged Shining but Glimmer was not winged, no matter which way you look at it there's some risk to me visiting or you visiting.'"You could just stay gone, that fixes it!"'Well by that logic, if I bring them to my world and you stay gone that fixes it.'"I'm their mother!"'And I'm their father.'(Ahem, are you forgetting someone?)'...No? You were just in my head, it's not like you... you know, wanted this.'(Oh wow forcing someone into such a situation without their consent, do we have a word for this, my lawyer?){We do, my client!}'...wait, she's representing you? Isn't that a conflict of interest?'{It's a civil case, not criminal. Ergo I'm allowed to sleep with my client and it's legal.}'Huh. Well, anyway, I'm sure you have your own biological children to worry about-'(I do! And this is one of them, being biologically mine.)'Oh come off it, that's not the same!'"Don't skip over me!"'Oh, I'm sorry, do you feel betrayed now that someone is trying to move on when it didn't work out so well with them?'"...ONE TIME!">Judge, Ah' do have ta' come to the side of mah' client on this matter and point out this would prevent her from having any sort of relationship with the child at all, seein' as she's incarcerated and isn't allowed to leave the universe under heavy penalty."See!? The whole hopping universe thing would get me locked up for life!... Actually, hold up, shouldn't you guys be locking him up, too? He like, actually tried to destroy the universe."~...can we lock up someone from another universe? Is that legal?~>No, it ain't, the most we can do is shove him back to his universe and have them deal with him... which we did. They decide the punishment for him."OH THAT IS BULLS-"'Not in front of the baby!'{Oh, he does have some Shining Armor in him, neat.}'Hey!'"What kind of logic is that!?">Him being locked up in our universe might destabilize it in paradox, Glimmer. Do ya' remember that. Do ya' remember why ya' turned Celestia inta' a rock? Do ya' remember why that fella got told off?"...SHOOT."{I wasn't going to say it, but since she brought it up-}>It's in evidence already quit reiterating for brownie points.2/3
>>43509318'Won't help anyway, I'm not a prisoner in my world, so it's down to biological mother who's incarcerated, probably forever-'"HEY!"'Or me, who's not that and is the babydaddy who actually wanted to make a baby.'(He just is not clicking why that's a problem, is he?)>So uh... how do we proceed?The judge, having listened to it all, looked ready to snap."...Clone spell? I know that one. You get a baby! You get a baby! Everyone gets a baby ya-"She was not silenced with violence, as that would be unbecoming in a courtroom. Glimmer was, however, reminded of why this was stupid by a mere look from Applejack that explained in detail why she was forever lacking in mental fortitude, and would never be truly loved by an intellectual."It was just a thought."~...due to the unusual nature of the circumstance, I am considering allowing you to submit your own appeal, Shining Armor the second, however as you are on probation you will need to find legal representation here, in this world, that you nearly destroyed.~'H... how did you know I was on probation?'~Oh, you know...~The doors slammed open again, and the poor guards went flying again. If they weren't Pegasi, they probably would've been more bothered by it.~Legal intuition.~+THERE YA' ARE, YA' GADDANG VARMIT! AH' TOLD YOU NOT TA' JUMP ANY GADDANG UNIVERSES WITHOUT ME STAMPIN' OFF ON IT AND AH'M ABOUT TA' TAN YER' GADDANG... oh hey, cute kid.+There were two Shining Armors, looking to that baby. And now, there were also two of Princess Applejack, looking on at the cooing face.+...Ya' made another one, don't you.+'...Technically it was before your declaration-'+AH' WILL HAVE. YOU. SNIPPED.+(Oh, hey, she says that too!)+So, what did you do this time?+'Uh... are you licensed to practice law, by any chance?'+Obviously, why?... oh.+The judge looked to Applejack, the first. He looked to Shining Armor, the first. Then, simply, he sighed.~Bring in another table...~At some point he was going to burn it all to the ground.
>>43509321I like the judge starting off stoic and professional and holding on for as long as he can, and little by little he’s broken down to silly pony levels
>>43509321And theres the Oprah joke! Excited for the rest!>>43509463This poor guy.
>>43509321Aj Vs Aj Vs Shining Vs Shining Vs GlimmerThis went a lot further than what I expected, I thought it would be a one off gag
>>43509321Hell yeah, a legal battle royale!
Bjump
>>43509321>AH' WILL HAVE. YOU. SNIPPED.+>Auj walking into the courtroom like >>43499124
>Dash"Pinkie"~~~>So is anyone gonna help Twilight? We skipped right over that, she did the headblam thing and fell over."Dashie its just comedic overreaction, she'll be fiiiiiine.">She's not moving."Fiiiiiiine.">...is she breathing?"FIIIIINNNNNNEEEE
>>43510531She's gonna see double when she wakes up!
>>43510681Oh my god she WAS asleep for all that! That's hilarious!
>Applejack"Glimmer"'Salt'*Alterjack*(Shining){Celestia}~Judge~~The gallery were pretty sure being there was a poor idea, as at any moment someone in this courtroom was going to snap and open fire and there was a greater than zero chance it would be the tripowered demigods of magic. Even so, many chose that ever so brief chance of death if it meant getting to witness more of the unmitigated trainwreck this simple custody battle had become. Somewhere around the time they literally dragged in a half ping pong table, the only thing they had available that would fit the space remaining, and the two beings from a whole other universe were forced to cram closely together in an overcrowded well of the courtroom, they knew it had reached the point of no return.>Please stop shovin' me."I don't want to get too close to him, then we'll look buddy buddy and he'll come off better!">And you would too?"...why do I hurt myself."'Sorry, Applejack, I'm trying not to shove against your hip too much.'*Nothing you haven't touched before, Ah' guess.*(You want to sit in my lap?){Do I!? Yes but it would look unprofessional.}(Aw.)*Your honor, can Ah' just reiterate for the court that we have had very little time to gather the evidence needed to make a case regarding his place of residence, current financials and getting letters of recommendations? The precedent here says we should at least have a few weeks to gather everything together.*~My apologies to the representative from another universe if this seems unprecedented. You are free to leave and begin a new appeal following whatever judgement I make regarding the custody of the child, I shall only warn you ahead of time that if custody is granted to either of them then your chances of extraditing the child legally to another universe becomes rather slim.~*...fair enough.*>Pretty sure he just wants to get this over with."This has gone on weirdly longer than I thought it would."They did not need to wonder about that, the twitch of his eye said it all.*Well, with that in mind, can Ah' at least initiate the Perjury Clause? This universe has one, Ah' should know, I made sure it was in there.*"The what now?">Perjury Clause is essentially sayin' iffin' she makes a false statement in her testimonies they can render the verdict null as if it were sworn in on the stand.(That sounds... really bad for her? She could make an honest mistake and ruin her whole case.){The flipside is of course that any statement she makes is treated with as much gravity as something entered into evidence, and that also means if she enters in something false in evidence she risks being completely disbarred and banned from practicing law. It's a very high risk, but...}>Lets her bring in evidence in a time sensitive manner. For instance... everything regarding him as a parent."Wow, convenient for her!"1/4
>>43510823~And for continuing this whole mess along a bit faster, as such, I shall allow it. Do be precise with anything brought up, being it location of financials, I am not in a forgiving mood to write off a few bits one way or another.~*Ah' shall keep that in mind, your honor.*"You know, I never noticed, her accent is way lighter than yours.">Just be happy gal's got an accent at all, she pretty much didn't when she got here.~I suppose as you missed the beginning, it would be unjust not to allow you an opening statement, even though we have already done our closing statements~{Right, about that your honor, are we just... resetting back to the middle? This is very unorthodox. Wouldn't it be simpler to continue on from the closing statements?}~Yes, we are, because otherwise I would just claim a mistrial as new and bold evidence has entered into the case in the middle of trial, and we start all of this from the beginning, likely with someone who has not grown several years older in the interim. Is that what you want? I never gave a verdict. We can call a mistrial and start all over if it pleases you, Celestia.~{...Proceed.}~Any arguments against this, be spoken now. This court case is going to be looked upon and laughed upon for its incompetency and insanity for years to come, do tell if you believe I'm being unfair.~>Er... nah, we're good."Wait, shouldn't we?"She was not rough, intentionally, but when shoving her client into a huddle close enough not to be heard when one could reach out and flick their opponents, some slight brain rattling was bound to happen.>Listen, ya' done locked us in when ya' pulled that friggen... whatever ya' call it-Pointedly, the entire court ignored the shout of "HAIL MARY!" from the back, shouted without her possibly having been able to hear that.>-when ya' clarified it wasn't this Shining ya' thought was the dad. He may have squirreled a way to claim at least partial responsibility and personal moral responsibility out of it thanks to the circumstances, but all that mess both ways goes out the window iffin' that Shining fills out a single gaddang form as the legal biological father. Ya'll claimed he was, in a courtroom, under oath, meaning if ya' try and swing back now yer' getting hit with perjury and also losin' the court case. The only gaddang reason we're not out of luck is he decided to actually join in instead of pushing for a whole dang reset, and Celestia knows it too. That's why she backed off. If he fills out a form and takes the kid, we're fighting ta' extradite the kid, and Ah' ain't gotta tell you how much harder that is."...so, wait, why even do it at all?">Mah' guess?She peered over the purple face, to an orange one. Her face. Her very annoyed face that kept glancing to her client.>Same reason he knows about this in the first place..."...hey, yeah!"The huddle was broken when the purple mare shot to her hooves.2/4
>>43510826"How do you know about any of this anyway!? You shouldn't know about our kid! Your world was sealed off forever!"(Actually he came through not that long ago, we had a fun meeting.)"Oh... well I didn't know that!... Wait, but you still couldn't have told him about it, you didn't know about boogiewoogie either until I went to you!">Ah' would just like to repeat for the record that, as per her statement, she believed she had found a winged Shining Armor and was not aware of our Shining Armor becoming of the winged variety, thus going to what she thought was the biological partner.The judge just stared, as if honestly asking with his gaze alone if he was meant to swallow that like a pill that had been dropped in the trash.>This court cannot prove she was withholding information from this universe's Shining, who as she loudly shouted out she did not believe to be the father, and as she has just reiterated, she was not informed of his visit either.{...I hate that we all know it's horseplop, but can't prove it.}Her sentiment was echoed throughout the court."And you still haven't answered how you got the information to be at this court date at all!"'What do you mean? It was in the Hive Gazette.'Glimmer paused with her hoof hanging limply in the air. For once, she was not the only one.>Y... ya' get the Hive Gazette?'Doesn't everyone?'Nobody could bring a response to that.*Ah' don't know where it comes from either, but Ah' get charged every month for mah' subscription.*>And ya' don't... cancel?*Why would Ah? It's a good paper... Ah' like the funnies.*'That dog is very big.'*Hee... and by the way, me? Ya' really should'a mentioned she had a kid.*>She said not ta' and legally Ah' was required not to divulge personal information without a formal request for it, and since nobody knew about it to ask..."I told her not to divulge that because I knew someone was going to try to take my baby! I just thought it would be, like, scientists or something who wanted to study an Alicorn! Not every white stallion I ever slept with!">...were there more than two?"There were a lot more than two."{That's on the record, by the way.}"OH COME ON!">Would'a saved a lot of trouble if he had...~Ahem! To clarify! Are there objections to continuing the case on from the stated timeline? Any at all?~>No, yer' honor.{...no, your honor.}~Very good, then! Princess Applejack, the second, your opening statement please!~3/4
>>43510830*Apologies. Ahem... Your honor, with todays case Ah' hope to prove to the court, beyond all reasonable doubt, that the best thing for the child's mental and physical and social well being is with the biological father. Ah' will not deny that the father has previously committed crimes of a certain nature, Ah' will not shy away from the fact that many in this world quite rightfully have negative feelings towards him on that matter. What Ah' will say is that he has thus far proven reformed in his release, has an absolutely perfect record on his probationary requirements, and has been a present and attentive father to his other children he has been raising this whole time. While Ah' have nothing but respect for the stallion who tried to step up and be a father despite the unfortunate circumstances, Ah' must reiterate that regardless of status in magical fusion, he is not the father. He did not wish to participate in the creation, unlike my client, and he was not biologically present even if he was physically. As he is the biological parent, and has no reason to be denied parentage, it would be cruel and unusual to separate him from his kin in favor of a criminal who very well may never see release due to her many crimes, outnumbering his own in nature by several orders of magnitude. Ah' hope with this evidence, you will see fit to grant him custody, as all others would be afforded. Thank you.*With that, she took her seat.~...I'm sorry, Children, Princess Applejack, the second?~*Yes, yer' honor?*~He has children.~She inhaled sharply through her nose, and let it all out her mouth nice and slow.*He does... he does...*~From a single mother?~*... No, yer' honor, there is more than one.*"Can we use that? He-whoop. Hold on."This time, she was the one who covered the baby's ears."There we go. Yeah, he impregnated a lot of mares back when I was there."^Oh... my... head... what happened?... am I crazy or is that two Shining-^"Just a fucking machine, that Shining, knocking up mares left and right! And dragons! Can we put that on record? That has to count against his capabilities, he fucked a dragon, bent her over and poured his-"BLAM>TARNATION! TWI! NOT AGAIN!"-up in there. Can we put that on record?"The courtroom went quite, save for a soft gurgling in among the pews.*Shining? Bad news, iffin' ya' didn't want to seem like a bad guy in the papers...*They all heard the furious scribbling, and knew tomorrows paper across worlds would spill it all.*Went about as well as every other plan.*>MEDIC!For the briefest of moments, the judge strained, hoping against hope he too could blow something in his brain.~...very well...~Alas.~Proceed and lets end this already.~
>>43510830>{...I hate that we all know it's horseplop, but can't prove it.}Yeah Glimmer has been somehow stumbling into saying the exact right stuff for utter bullshit.Also I'm just gonna say it, it's weirdly wholesome how hard AJ is trying here for someone who quite literally blasted off most of her skin.
>>43510834They won’t stop breaking her
>>43510823>They did not need to wonder about that, the twitch of his eye said it all.How distantly related is he to the apple family, I'm just waiting.
>>43510948>Also I'm just gonna say it, it's weirdly wholesome how hard AJ is trying here for someone who quite literally blasted off most of her skin.These stories have got to be like muscle memory for those writers because it floors me how consistent they still are with what was before. Like the Chrysalis Dictionary story just feels like early Chrysalis and the Two tangent nailed her personality, and now this weird ass storyline somehow has perfectly remembered how quick witted and brutally but caringly honest Applejack is, and even AUJ's weird quirks like her accent slipping in when she gets emotional and SA/Celly continuing to be BEST PAIR.It feels like seeing a lost episode somewhere from an early season of a show that went on for years, and going "Oh yeah... I remember that."
>>43511245That dictionary bit honestly killed me, I haven't had to hold in a laugh that hard in forever.>BEST PAIR.YES
>>43511245>It feels like seeing a lost episode somewhere from an early season of a show that went on for years, and going "Oh yeah... I remember that."This does feel like the lost "Legal arc" we never did for whatever reason.
>>43511076If he pops an eye we know his name is Court Pendu Plat
>>43511767Oh that's clever... honestly, how long did it take you to find that or has that been a nugget you've been holding on too for /pa/ or applejack reasons?
>>43459140>2 actually autistic anons roleplaying: the general is backwhy don't you faggots just make a dicksword and fuck off to there instead of bringing up this dead trash every month? It's over.
>>43512101Thought your rectum would’ve healed after 8 months from when you got blown out, left that big of a scar eh?Don’t worry, whiny guy, it’ll go away again at the end of the thread, just like it did in January, and you can go back to hoping one of your threads get any traction without the competition of “some random thread with stories” and telling everyone a 12 year thread with a dozen verified artists and daily stories was just two guys, otherwise you might have to wonder why they don’t seem to come your way very often. Maybe you’ll win “saddest to see go” this year, let’s hope someone will miss you.
>>43512101There's plenty of us here lurking, why don't you join the fun anon?
>>43512101Remember when you could see the IP Counter? Waaaaay back when you could spot samefagging as quick as looking down? No? I bet ya don't... But I do... I member, we member.
this thread makes me nostalgic for something I wasn't here for, I mean, I remember the last PA threads, I just never interacted past maybe taking a glance at the concept and gigglingI just didn't know it was such a big thinghope one day I can make a memory, or experience how you have, nonnies, bless you
>>43512136Thanks for the kind words anon. It's never too late to take a trip down memory lane and check the humble beginnings
>>43510834They later gonna start a legal procedure to get both Shinnys snipped lmao
>>43512407It’s the only way to be sure
>>43512407I mean with the judges reaction to Salt being a dad that may well be on the table.
>>43512044I’m not ashamed to admit I had to look it up, Google listed all the different Apple varieties and I just Ctrl F’d for keywords like “judge” “law” “legal” and court finally hit some names so I picked the one that sounded the most silly. Felt like the good old days of Changeling Superpowers
>>43512135>That one anniversary where we went over 150Good times, gooood times…
>Applejack"Glimmer"'Salt'*Alterjack*(Shining){Celestia}~Judge~~If Applejack could have just one wish in this moment, she truly did not know what would come from her mouth first. Whether it would be to make everyone accept her words as if she wielded the Harmony Apple once more, if it were to make three children so this entire matter could be resolved in an instance, or if she would just wish for a giant cage that stole all magic and tell all present to battle it out with good old fashioned slugging one anther, all of them seemed just as likely in her mind. It struck her then that she wouldn't just wish for the situation to be resolved.>Iffin' ya' could please stop bringing up the sex, Ah' would very much appreciate it.She doubted there was that much magic in all the world to make that wish come true."But it's the best way to get the court on my side! Everyone's grossed out hearing about someone sleeping around, and he did that! So lets bring it up, you know!">Glimmer, he can then point out how many ponies ya'll slept with."..he can't prove it, though.">Ya' bragged about it to their faces!"Shoot. I did do that."'Also if we could not demonize the tender act of lovemaking I would very much appreciate it.'*Can you all please not talk too much about this next to Twi? Ah' don't even know if she's alright, that was a bad pop. The court don't need ta' know if he's good at sex.*"How would you know!?"*Eh, if we have time when this is over Ah' might answer.*(I agree with both Shining Armor the second and Applejack the Second regarding talking about that! See, compromise and finding common ground, we can make this work.){For instance, my client is clearly the best choice. We can all agree on that.}"As if!"*Are ya'll implying you are even in the running?*"HEY!">She is not implying, she is stating that as the biological mother who has been taking care of this child this while time by herself, she should be the first choice when talking about custody.*First choice should go to the biological parent, Ah' agree, but it clearly should go to the one who's not currently incarcerated and would be under constant supervision. What kind of home life can you really give a child?*{My client is a prince who lives in a castle with servants and several loving, cute and beautiful spouses with which to give the child a social edge as they grow that is, plainly, unmatched. If he was a regular stallion living in a Canterlot abode, he'd give the uncontested best homelife, and instead he's offering a castle. How can you hope to match that?}*Ah' will have you know Mah' client also has many partners with which to help rear a child and excellent housing himself.*>Married partners?*Splitting hairs, obviously. He is in a relationship with them.*1/
>>43513957{Well, my client is actually lawfully wed to them, ensuring they have a legal as well as moral obligation to assist in taking care of the child. Not that he needs biological or legal reasoning, as he has so thoroughly proven with his adoptive daughter.}*Mah' client is also taking care of that exact same changeling, give or take a universe, and despite her far worse mental situation he is overseeing her therapy and healing.*{Sounds like a chaotic homelife.}*Do ya' really want to pull a chaotic homelife into the argument, Celestia? Cause as far as Mah' universe is concerned, there weren't any mass monster events stomping through his current residence.*{I do so hate universal resets in relation to law.}>Throws a bit of wrench in there, don't it? But regardless, you're asking too much, me.*Ah' figure full custody of his own child is bare minimum, if nothing else.*>Yer' asking ta' cut off the child from their mother entirely! Glimmer will be prosecuted heavily if she so much as breathes near a portal, let alone tries to go in one. She can't go ta' your side and visit!*Is that really the worst thing, considering her history?*>Ya' want to talk about history, in this universe?*Maybe Ah' do, seein' as mah' client wouldn't even have been in this universe without the machinations of that mare in question. Ya'll can see why he would have particular reservations about leaving an Alicorn that can be molded and formed in formative years in her care.*{All the more reason to leave them in the care of one who has shown quite the ability in raising alicorns, I should say? And didn't try to destroy the universe.}*Now, for yer' information, Shining is a great father to his alicorn children, and he was a great father even when he was a unicorn and less equipped to handle it.*{Oh, where have I heard that one before? I wonder if we should ask Flurry.}>Ya' can't treat kids as interchangeable like that, its frankly irresponsible. Unlike you two, mah' client actually has raised the child in question, and it looks to me like she's done a fine job of it.*For now! But that child is going to grow up, and we've all seen firsthoof how she uses those with alicorn powers.*{As have we seen how your client uses theirs, haven't we? And how mine uses his, of course, it seems the answer is clear if we're speaking purely from the standpoint of most potential for positive rearing of the child.}*Ya'll entering into this via technicality of time space doesn't put ya' on the same level as mah' client as far as actual relations, he's still offered the first choice of if he even wants someone like yer' client to adopt them and he very much does not.*{Custody, dear Applejack the Second, of a child who shares his biology. Not adoption, he is familiar with that process.}>Which is why ya'll should know that leaving things as is should be the best course. She had custody before this, she should have it afterwards, ya'll can work out if ya' visit.2
>>43513959*Only because ya'll withheld rightful knowledge from mah' client.*{Your client was in another universe and out of reach, the only one really harmed by this is my client who never got the chance to spend so much time with their biological child they will never get back, and clearly that is a sign that she might withhold it if she gets majority custody.}>As she has repeatedly reiterated, she does not view your client as the actual father.{Biology disagrees.}>As someone who lives with a mare who can literally change her DNA, ya'll should know the law has closer precedent on that.*Which is why mah' client should be the only one who's even in the running on this matter. She named him, denied that yer' client was the father and this whole mess is all born of a misunderstanding regarding wings.*{We both know that isn't what actually happened.}*Fraid from a legal perspective, it is. She has made her statements very well known.*>Mah' client would likely side with one who lives in this universe, ya' know.*Well then she shouldn't have put those statements on the record just because mah' client hadn't shown up yet, shouldn't she? Worked in the moment, but now...*>She still gets a say in it.{Should she? She is, as repeatedly said, incarcerated.}>It's on the record, Celestia.*And Ah' say... anything you three wanna say to each other before we get out of hoof?*The three ponies looked to each other, snapping out of the rapt haze they'd been stuck in this whole time."Ahem... quit trying to take mah' baby! It's my baby!"'Ahem, quit trying to keep me from taking my baby! It's my baby!'(Ahem, quit trying to keep my baby locked up, it's my baby!)'I'm not locked up.'(You really should be.)"HA!"(You are actually locked up.)"I was on your side there, come on."'Already jumped to a new one to raise up for your bidding, eh?'"ONE! TIME!"(You're not exactly showing you have the best behavior on this one.)'Well I'm sorry if I come off a little desperate trying to keep my baby from being groomed to, I dunno, be the next super god of death.'"That was you! You were super god of death! You were the one doing death super god style!"'No I wasn't, I didn't kill anyone. I almost broke the world not killing someone. I made everyone happy! I made Applejack happy, even!'(You put me in your brain.)'I needed to know where your universe was, sue me.'(You were going to keep me there.)'Well, Celestia got out and I needed to stabilize a paradox.'"Aha! So you admit to kidnapping."'You were the paradox, and Celestia got out because of you!'"AHA-oh, right."(See? I'm clearly the best choice. By far.)'I'm the best choice because I learned from my mistakes.'"I'm the best choice we're talking mistakes and learning, I've gotten you beat by centuries! I lived lives with ponies one year at a time where I saw all those mistakes!"3/
>>43513961(I'm the best choice because I learned from your mistakes but didn't actually do any of them.)"...Shoot! Well, you still should all fuck off because that's my baby and if I didn't think he was back-"'Nobody is buying that.'"-I never would've told any of you!"(Not better.)"You are coming off real bitter."(Wait, me, the guy who's life you tried to turn into a glorified anchor so you could mess up another universe, or him, the guy who's life you did mess up, repeatedly, so you could rule said universe?)"Oh, I just used you to rule the universe, eh?"'W-well... no, I chose that fate. I wanted to fix what I thought was a destroyed world, and I... didn't accept it never had to be destroyed in the first place, because I wanted to do it my way. I thought I could be the shield of my world... and I failed.'"...Don't have a character moment like that!"(Yeah, I'm feeling a little worse now.)'As well you should! Could you imagine if you found out Chrysalis had a kid with you that she hid away and now was fighting with your twin brother she mindzotzed into having the same memory to take them from you? You would feel awful!'(...Huh. Well, mostly I'm just concerned about your homelife.)'Oh, here we go. Just because I picked different mares and something besides mares!'(I mean, no wedding? None?)'Wait, is that why you're upset? I have trauma around it thanks to Cadence, okay!? You don't know, you still have Cadence!'(Damn right I do.)The court watched as he kissed his hoof, and seemingly flung something they could not see off into the distance. Seconds later, a floating little magical kiss came back and landed on his cheek.'Wow... soul crushing.'"...why do I find that weirdly hot?"'Listen, the only reason I'm not just bombing this entire courtroom-'"AHA! Threat of attack! He's threatening to attack, remove him!"'-into a mistrial-'"Shoot! You all weren't fast enough. Now it makes me look crazy."'-Is because I do not want the news to see me stealing a kid from you, the better version of me.'(Oddly big of you to admit.)'But if being hated in my world more and hated slightly more in this world-'"I mean statistically yeah, little change."'Is enough to keep them in my life, I will, because there's no way I'll ever stop fighting for my child now that I know they exist, Glimmer!'"Sealed off, forever!"'And that includes-'*Wait, can't we just share custody, then?*'She just said why we can't, she's not allowed near a portal!'*No, not her...*Celestia's ears perked up in that adorable way that sent Shining's heart aflutter, and he had to restrain himself from doing a cheesy and unsexy thing. He was a love horse, you see, not lusthorse.{Wait... do you mean?}4/5
>>43513967*Yeah... Ah' mean, iffin' yer' Shining really does see them as kin due to the whole brain thing, well... ain't like he can't go to the crystal castle, right? It's how Ah' got back to our world in the first place, that portal. Do we really gotta fight over which one gets full custody? Both our clients have other children and would probably like help with raising this one, after all. They got help, but is one more that bad?*{...Huh.}>Oh no.Applejack had tried very, very hard to avoid this fate, subtly pushing them to clash with each other the whole time. Always careful not to imply it and always careful to frame the matter as Glimmer versus one or the other. But as she saw their faces light up, it hit her.*...Ah' mean, ain't the first kid with two daddies, right?*{Indeed...}Her case was now in trouble.>...Ah' miss the questions.~I miss my bloody SANITY.~And the judge was at his limit.
>>43513970That judge just watched it allSUFFERING
>>43513970>Shining Daddy and also Shining DaddyKids gonna have a complex.
>>43513970This got serious for a second, so I’m going to guess next part goes right off the rails
>>43513967Oh one hand... Shiny and Caddy>The court watched as he kissed his hoof, and seemingly flung something they could not see off into the distance. Seconds later, a floating little magical kiss came back and landed on his cheek.Daaaaww... Squee, even.And on the other hand... BEST PAIR>Celestia's ears perked up in that adorable way that sent Shining's heart aflutterIt made me giddy... Giddy up, even.Its so DAMN hard picking which one I love more... help
>>43514109He is a romantic little horse, he is.
>>43513970Reminder that this whole time, we have had absolutely no indication Two has moved, at all. She is still just sitting there, forelegs wide, ready to hug the love outta that baby.
>>43514176>... If not sibling... why sibling shaped?"...Bah?">...Hnngh... Oh wow! Is this what ah've been doing to everyone this whole time!?
>>43514176>Chrysalis"Spitfire"~~~~>What are the odds she takes off my legs snapping over there when she gets the goahead?"High.">Ah."You shouldn't have blown it with Flurry and you could have kept holding her.">The holes... they make life hard sometimes."If it'll make you feel better, I promise to feed you soup from now on if you lose your forelegs.">You know? Weirdly? I really do like that..."...assuming you don't bleed out.">WORTH IT
Wasn't expecting a thread to be here, great to see my old /pa/ls again, I can't wait to catch up on the thread and eagerly lurk!
>>43514558Good to have you with us anon, have fun!,
>>43513970Welp, seems like is not a free for all anymore
>>43514992Getting double teamed again?Just another day for Starlight!
>>43512164Good times
>>43514558We’re apparently back just to give Two gotta questions and the lost legal storyline As we damn well should!
>Applejack"Glimmer"'Salt'*Alterjack*(Shining){Celestia}~Judge~~>We might be in a bit of trouble now.That, to put it bluntly, was an understatement so soft it made her own cosmic punch feel like a whisper."You think!?"She didn't blame her for the outburst, not if she were truly honest with herself. If Applejack herself had been staring down the double barrel of a loaded argument ready to blow her entire plan apart, she felt she likely too would panic just a little bit.*So, what're we talkin', half the week each and alternating weekends?*'Or just alternate the whole weeks, less time spent hopping universes.'(Can we get a calendar of events at the start of the year? They're gonna have school events, don't want to have him in the wrong universe.){Right, school, that is a concern.}*For sure, we want them to stay in one school all year round if we can, they're gonna make friends after all. Just have whoever is watchin' that week pick them up and drop them off.*(Do you guys have the infrastructure for alicorn children in yet?)*Not yet, but they will be by the time they hit school. Got kin who're the same age, after all. Give or take some months.*{Well, since they are still quite in the infant stage, we can write up an agreement to have both schools assessed the year before they would start actual schooling and go from there.}'I'm fine with that, even if it's potentially not in my universe, I'd like them to get the best possible education.'(Agreed! Your Applejack has done a much more hooves on job getting them up to speed, and if we find it paid off by their time to start their education I'd obviously prefer the stronger of the two.)*Ah' thank ya' kindly, and same to you regarding the Empire being brought up to speed.*{Why, thank you!}"Applejack, help! They're being buddy buddy!"Her worst case scenario had come to pass. It was hard enough arguing her case when there was one biological parent in a better place financially, socially and in accommodations, both of them together felt as if the chasm had gone from a difficult jump to a whole world away. That they had moved so easily to working with one another as well only placed a wall atop that chasm she did not know they might climb, and every word another brick to make it that much harder.>Alright, we need ta' think of something here..."Oh oh oh! Why don't we do one of those classic "Let the baby" decide moments! Yeah! They don't even know those two, and I'm their mother, why would they choose them? We can just have the court leave it up to the baby!">Cause then they might pick the one that looks like their new doll."...there is no way my luck is that bad to have them hug a doll that looks like their father literally minutes before I could use my plan.">Glimmer..."How is my luck this bad!?">....do ya' want the reason cosmically, karmically, or just in general?1/4
>>43515876"Um... oh! What if we say there's a paradox problem? There might be! Then they absolutely have to pick either one or the other of those two!">And if that Shining wins, you will never get to see them again, period. And considering our Shining might actually help him out if ya' try to lock him out of it..."Well, not our...">Glimmer!"Okay! Fine! I'll... cite medical reasons! It's an alicorn and I've been looking after them, medically I have to be able to show more experience than either of them!">Flurry."Cosmic dimension reasons?">Is there anythin' ya' know that Celestia don't know after bein' a rock and getting those powers?"...well-">No, there ain't, and Shining knows whichever ones she don't because of yer' timehoppin'."Shoot! Uh... uhhh... Battle Royale? Winner takes all?">They will absolutely doubleteam you."...U-uhhh..."She was trying, she really and truly was trying, and that's what made it hurt all the worse."...Offer to make another one for each of them? One of them takes me in the backroom, makes their own kid, rinse and repeat in a few months? I keep this one and they get the next two?"Applejack didn't look at her with anger, she didn't look at her with annoyance, she didn't even look at her with weariness, and somehow it hurt more than if she'd just dragged her into the hallway and beaten the stupid out of her."I mean he's into that whole thing...">Glimmer."Well, I'm trying, okay!? I can't lose my baby! I was never supposed to lose my baby! The only reason I'm here is because I wanted to give more stuff to baby! I wanted a good education for baby and a nice house and nice things for them so maybe they didn't feel like their locked up loony mom was a loser! They could be so many things, Applejack..."Gently, an orange hoof laid on her shoulders.>Glimmer..."...you really are trying, aren't you?"Maybe it was the sharp inhale or maybe the slow, pained breath in response, but Glimmer finally lost that last bit of doubt in her head.>Yeah, reckon Ah' am."...why?">Ain't it obvious?"No, obviously not. I tried to blast you, I tried to lock you up in purgatory, I tried to rewrite this whole world away from you, why would you ever actually put in the effort to help me?">Cause the law says ya' deserve honest representation, and Ah'm as honest as they get.She scoffed, unable to look into those green eyes that stared down on her."Don't give me that, you still could've given the bare minimum. You could've just said honestly the best thing for the baby was just to leave me behind, you have more than enough evidence to prove it. A real lawyer would've just been blunt and said "You live in incarcerated housing and that's royalty, just be happy they might've considered giving you some visitations before the second, other royal came in." I know I screwed over both of them, I'm not stupid."2/4
>>43515879Her eyes snapped over to one of the two white stallions, the more familiar of the two to her."That Shining can even stand to be in the room with me after I manufactured that whole war is insane, if anything that should be proof he shouldn't be the sole guardian! What guardian would allow someone willing to do all of that near their kid... that's what a real lawyer would've said, and taken the money instead of dragging out this slow reminder that I blew it all being stupid. So... why? Why not just... call it quits, let them win?"Glimmer's gaze drifted down to the table, and she didn't see a single inch of the hardwood finish. She didn't see anything except the memories in her own mind of a smiling, cherub like face and the few days she had felt just a bit of happiness within it. She didn't see anything, except what she was losing."I wish... I wish..."Her horn would have sparked, if not for the magical restraint on it, and both of them knew it.>...Ahem. Representative Celestia? Representative Applejack, the Second? Ah' have a quick question for you iffin' ya' don't mind.The two looked up from their work, no doubt finalizing their last agreements as to who got the child on what days, already assured in how final it would need be.*What's that, me?*{Yes, we're almost done, so please don't slow roll this further.}~Please.~They felt that one from the bench, in their very souls.>Mah' question is... either of you going to bring a witness to the stand, for character purposes?The two shared a brief, confused look, each one raising and eyebrow in that subtle way that said without words that they wondered if she'd lost her mind.*Ah'... reckon we don't need to, no. We have no plans to bring a character witness to the stand, Shining does not need any further character witness to speak of his abilities as a father.*{Likewise my client is quite famous, it would be pointless to try and sell him further as a capable father and provider.}*Celestia...*{Sorry, sorry, still trying to upsell. No, we have no plans to bring any character witnesses.}>Do ya'll have any objection if Ah' do?*...for... Glimmer?*Now they truly did wonder if Applejack, the first, had snapped and they needed to fear if she would just kill them all.>Indeed.3/4
>>43515881Though they thought and though they thinked and though they thunked, between all four opponents in this legal fight there was not a single one of them that could name any being on either world that would attest on behalf of the mare sitting there, dumbfounded. She was well and truly alone in this world, and imagining anyone would stand for her at all, let alone with such sway as to harm their case, was ludicrous. So, with subtle movement back in case this was the last moments of sanity in a mind that had simply taken too much, they gave their own verdict.{No, we have no objections to you bringing in a character witness.}*Likewise, just so long as it doesn't take more than an hour to bring them here.*They felt truly worried when Applejack smiled.>Well, yer' in luck. Yer' honor? Ah' have gotten permission from their representatives, and Ah' would like... Starlight Glimmer ta' stake the stand.Celestia stared. Applejack, the second stared, Shining stared, Shining, the second stared, the courtroom stared, and finally the judge himself stared.~...Princess Applejack, this has gone on a long, long time, much longer than it should have. Please tell me you're wrapping this up.~Princess Applejack, in turn, smiled.>Yer' honor... one way or another, it's about ta' end.One last Hail Mary, before the timer ran out.>Glimmer? Take the stand.
>>43515883>Offering to make another oneYou fool! Salt totally would’ve gone for that! Shining wouldn’t because he is a good boy and he is precious but Salts a manho
>>43515876>*So, what're we talkin', half the week each and alternating weekends?*>'Or just alternate the whole weeks, less time spent hopping universes.'>(Can we get a calendar of events at the start of the year? They're gonna have school events, don't want to have him in the wrong universe.)>{Right, school, that is a concern.}>*For sure, we want them to stay in one school all year round if we can, they're gonna make friends after all. Just have whoever is watchin' that week pick them up and drop them off.*>(Do you guys have the infrastructure for alicorn children in yet?)>*Not yet, but they will be by the time they hit school. Got kin who're the same age, after all. Give or take some months.*>{Well, since they are still quite in the infant stage, we can write up an agreement to have both schools assessed the year before they would start actual schooling and go from there.}>'I'm fine with that, even if it's potentially not in my universe, I'd like them to get the best possible education.'I kinda want a little bit more of this back and forth before we finish up... like-'We're gonna have to coordinate on Dad jokes.'(Oh, obviously, do you think we should split tossing and catching? One skill from each Dad?)'Splitting lessons...Interesting. I can teach them all about their great and terrible power and you-'(Can teach them about how to use it responsibly for the good of everyone!')*Ah think you should BOTH be doing that, that's not a good look no matter how you slice it.*'(Sorry.)'{Oh wait, I just thought of something. How is disciplining going to work?}*Whatcha mean?*{This might end up in a Good Cop/Bad Cop situation... but with Dads.}(...)'...Oh'*Don't worry, we're just gonna have to set up a frame wo-*(Dibs on good dad!)'Dibs on- FUCK!'(GASP! Not in front of the baby!){...Bad. Bad Dad.}*Dang it.*'Heeeey... I'm getting better-' A smug smile spreads across his face... '...I swear!'Thunk*{Noooooo...}*(Nice! High hoof!)/)(\(... now, about O&O-)
>>43515938Fucking perfect yes.
>>43515938"'Salt'*Alterjack*(Shining){Celestia}~~~~'Oh, by the way, did you want to give them "The talk" when they're old enough? I don't want to step on your hooves.'(No no, not at all! I wouldn't want to rob you of this part in their life.)'I thank you and you are so kind to take me into consideration before telling me how much you want to do it, my feelings remain spared.'(Aww, that's sweet, consideration of others feelings is an important part of the talk after all, maybe you want to start it and go from there?)'Maybe, maybe...'(Indeed.)'...well, if I do, maybe I can bring in my views on marriage.'(Of course, of course, unless you worry that'll send the wrong message, in which case I can totally handle it.)'Well it was your idea to have me start it, I can slip it in there?'(Sure! Oh and of course I need to be there, can't leave them hanging between universes! You just finish up and we'll continue off on another foundation from there.)'What a wonderful idea!'*And which one of ya'll two fellas is gonna explain protection?*(...)Shining looks to the gallery, where he sees many children.'...'Shining, the second, glances down to his wallet, filled with pictures of many children.(...Bring in a third party?)'I was just thinking that, you're smart, me is smart.'{Ironic, considering the shield, isn't it?}*Well there are stars in there...*'So uh... wanna split birthday gifts?'*You know my treasury secretary has been threatening to jump...*
>>43515938> (... now, about O&O-)You just know this kids going to get heavily into something like death metal instead
>>43515965'Salt'*Alterjack*(Shining){Celestia}~~~~'You know, I just realized!'(Yes, that shield does make your butt look big.)'I know, it's great, isn't it?'(Darn right.)'But what I meant is, are we going to skew their relationship perceptions?'(...)*...huh.*{Oh, no...}
>>43515936>Salt"AUJ"~~~~>Wait did she just offer to MAKE another kid?"Ya'll weren't supposed to hear that.">..."Please don't tell me yer'-">But... we would just get custody of that one too, as well, also, it doesn't... WHAT!?"Oh, thought ya'll were considering it there. Yeah that was dumb.">...seriously?"We all know what yer' about."
>AJ"Twilight"--->Hey Twi... Twilight? You alive?"...">Well, at least yer breathing."...">Hmmm... "...">There's a sale going on, five for the price of one on hay burgers!"...">Celestia's picking a new student, said you've fallen behind on all your... list making... stuff."...">...Shining's got cancer again and you need to punch it out!*Snrk* >Dang, I thought that woulda woken it up for sure.'Hey, this seems like a conflict of interest! You're blatantly canoodling with the family of the other party!'>Glimmer, the only blatant "canoodling" that's happened was with her brother and- "-...le..gedly..."'...Umm.'>... We're just gonna... pack that away. Probably in the same dark corner with all the regrets ah've got in the back of mah mind.'Oh... Hey wait, can't we use that as-'>SO. MANY. REGRETS.
>>43516530I love that both her and AUJ are the only ones actually concerned if she's okay. Rest of the court treats her like she's just a random mare and they're the only ones acting like she's having a stroke.
>>43516530Do not try to tip the goddamn scales, Glimmer!You can’t tip the goddamn scales!
>>43516386He would'a gone for it if Applejack said she'd handle one of them.
>>43515883AJ that crazy mare, what is she thinking
>>43517120She did indeed… twi probably didn’t think she meant like, the country though
>>43516212'Salt'*Alterjack*(Shining){Celestia}~~~~'So, uh... how do we handle the dad situation?'(Well, if you're offering to be the mom...)'I mean which one of us gets the dad moniker?'(...ohhhh.)*Mah' client actually made the child in question.*{To be fair, my client is the one who stepped up when it looked like you weren't coming. And what's more heartwarming than being called dad in that situation?}*Bein' called Shiny?*{You monster! You beast! You cruel thing! How dare you use her power against me!}*Her power is so vast any would be a fool not to respect it... Celestiaaaaa. Join me, and together we shall listen to her cry out in joy as someone understands why... she calls him Shiny.*{She's.... too... strong! Nooooo!}'...So yeah I'm just thinking whoever the kid calls Dada first gets to be dada, other one can be dad.'(That works for me.)*Spoilsport.*'Where did you even get a cowl?'*Ah' always carry one around just in case Ah' need to tempt someone to the darkside.*(...Celly-){I'm ordering the cowl already.}(She's smart, she's a smart sunwife.)
>>43517542Don't forget the cookies Celly!
>>43517542'Salt'*Alterjack*(Shining){Celestia}~~~~'I just realize, we're not going to give the kid a complex, right? What with two wildly successful parents?'(Just to clarify, the 'kid' in question is one of less than a dozen of a superpowered species.)'...Ah.'*Don'tcha worry, Ah'll tamper those big heads down real fast. Ah' came from earth beginnings and Ah' will put them there if they act up.*{Sounds like you should be the parent, instead.}*Meh, Ah'm waitin' till Equestria is fixed before considering it.*(...so, never?)*So shaddup is what so is.*
>>43517803>Our AJ is closer to being a mother than her counterpartYay~
>>43517798She’s a mom now she always has those
>>43518135Where are the other kids on that note?
>>43518371The boring answer is they’re watching. The funny answer is>Shining“Velvet”~~~>Thanks for agreeing to watch the kids, mom!“Anything for granbehbeh!”>Shouldn't be too long. Bye kids! Be good!As soon as the door shut, they all started to fly. All of them.“… I see.”She turned her head, cracking her neck, and narrowed her eyes.“Honey? Get ready.”~To help with the kids?~“That too.”~… popped your neck wrong again because we’re old?~“I’m still young faustdamn it!”
>>43518465>As soon as the door shut, they all started to fly. All of them....fucking pigeons!
>>43518629HEYThere are bugpigeons in there too!
>Applejack"Glimmer"'Salt'*Alterjack*(Shining){Celestia}~Judge~~The gallery watched, rapt, as the uncertain and unsure mare moved towards the witness stand, every step seeming as if she were marching towards the guillotine itself. It didn't help that as she approached, the Bailiff tensed as if he were a headsmare about to swing. Everyone in the courtroom knew of her shocking level of magic, even before becoming an alicorn in the war of reality. They didn't say it, but everyone around was fairly certain chances were high she would snap if provoked with defeat on the line. If they would be ready for it was another matter.>State yer' name for the record.It was always stupid, and it was always pointless, but Glimmer knew as well as anyone that it was needed for legalities sake as far as diction went."Starlight Glimmer."It didn't make it any easier to hide the croak in her voice.>Thank ya'. Well, you two have the floor, mah' questioning will be last on the list to allow any cross examinations afterwards if they're not to your liking, and mah' own once you've finished.The four remaining shared looks with each other, some saying far more than others with mere narrowing of eyes or tightening of lips, some still saying more than anyone expected with a single tilt of the head. While one pair no doubt was having an entire plan mapped out with subtle glances alone, the other pair was able to at least say all that need be said. *Very well. Ah'll start, if there are no objections.*'I concur.'(...Celly.){As you wish. You may begin.}*Ah' thank you. Ahem, miss Starlight Glimmer, for the record, were you the mastermind behind the extradimensional chaos in mah' world?*Right for the throat, as everyone expected."...Yes."*And is it true you manufactured an entire war in mah' world, several times over, before tampering with the timestream.*"Y...yes."*And is it true in this time slipping, your primary motive and operation was to find an individual, grant them power, and then use them at your attempt at finding even more power in turn?*"I-I..."*Yes or no will do, Glimmer.*"...yes..."*Then does it not stand to reason-*~Miss Applejack, the second, no leading questions.~She caught herself beautifully, showing no hint of losing her stride even after her question had been derailed.*Could you state, in your own reasons, why mah' client would give you a chance to raise another one of similar power?*~Miss Applejack.~*It's her own opinion, judge, and we will treat it as such. Consider it personal testimony on her half.*~...Continue.~If only she could, but Glimmer had found her mouth had gone dry with those judging eyes staring at her, boring into her, questioning her every twitch and move.as if they were waiting for the jack in the box to spring. Louder and louder, until they all flinched with one letter."I..."They had finally calmed back down when she spoke again.1/?
>>43518992"I'm being monitored, I will be for... ever. I'm not that strong anymore, I can't manipulate time anymore, and I wouldn't anyway! I know what it does to the timestream now, I witnessed it. I saw firsthoof the tangles that happen, so many that mean at the end the only way to fix it is to... undo it all. I'm not a threat, to anyone."*And, in your opinion, is that reason enough why my client should be trusting of you with his child?*"... I don't know?"*Well, if you don't know, why should he?*When she didn't respond, the orange head nodded, seemingly content.*Miss Glimmer, Ah' can't cite anything legal you did to my world, because as you so perfectly described the only way to fix the Gordian knot of mah' reality was to clip off every branch. Aside from a select few in mah' world, no one even knows all you have done.*~Are you going somewhere with this, Miss Applejack, The Second?~*Ah' am establishing a legal framework for consideration your honor, including making it clear that her actions in mah' world cannot legally be used in this matter, even if Ah' mah'self remember such. The body still breathes, Ah' believe is the saying, so there is no murder. What Ah' am instead asking you, Miss Glimmer, is if you feel responsible for those actions.*"...yes."The court gasped in shock, muttering just low enough as to not be chided by the judge.*Then Ah' shall ask for the record, do you feel you still deserve custody of the child?*Her brief silence said much."I... it's still my baby..."Her words, even more.*No further questions your honor.*She took her seat amidst the chatter and the hard look from the judge, and Celestia rose.{Well! She certainly didn't leave much for me to ask, did she? After all, you never tried to control my dear Shining with time travel as you did his dopple, did you?}"I... I still needed him to..."{What is that? Do speak up, dear, I still have some ringing in my ear. Side effect of some blasts going off near it, you see.}The chuckle that went through the courtroom brought a sense of foreboding in the mare in the stand, that same tenseness one feels on the stage of a magician about to make them a fool for entertainment."I still needed him to be there, otherwise my plan wouldn't have worked."{I see. And would this plan involve imprisonment?}"...N-not for him, not at first, at first it was..."Everyone knew what went unsaid.{At first it was who, dear?}But it needed to be recorded."...at first it was you, who would hold back the paradox."The gallery didn't cry out, they all knew it before this had even begun. But many still judged her, even now.{And now you seek to do it to this poor little thing?}"No! NO! I don't... I don't want to imprison them! I don't want to hurt them, I-"{But you said it yourself, did you not? You're going to be monitored forever. There's a possibility you'll never be let out, isn't there?}2/?
>>43518994Her heart sank looking into Celestia's eyes, knowing she had already seen every path she could take, at the end of the line."...I-it's possible..."They all lead off the cliff.{So this poor thing will grow up in a cage, magical and vast though it may be, if it were to stay in your care?}Glimmer broke the gaze first, her eyes pointed straight down to the hardwood at it hit her."N-no they... they can leave... they don't have to-"{Miss Glimmer, I wish clarification, if this whole event hadn't played out, how would they have left? Who would you have sent them to? As you have reminded the court many times now, you were under the impression Shining Armor, the Second, was sealed off forever, and the first... was not the father.}She tensed, and it didn't make the blow soften any less."...M-my dad might've..."{Glimmer... tell me truthfully, do you really feel that you're the best thing for this child?}She didn't say a word. Not for a far longer time than any could bare.~Answer the question, Miss Glimmer.~Not until the matter was forced, and she could barely see the wood beneath her."...I don't know..."What should have been a moment of victory and proof was left feeling strange as Celestia only frowned. Her gaze was thoughtful and her mouth was closed, and everyone felt as if the hoof of an angry parent that had been raised finally came down and left them untouched.{Miss Glimmer...}For a moment, many of those in the courtroom felt a wash of nostalgia. Seeing her there, standing in that way, they were so often reminded of the times when their once Prime Matriarch had been there for them as well. When she had tested them in their own ways, hoping and helping them reach a goal she believed they could find. But, the next part never came. The next test, the next step in her journey was left unsaid when she turned her gaze to the side and looked right at her opponent. Applejack, in turn, never blinked, never moved, never looked away from Glimmer's downturned face.{...No further questions.}The court was left stunned into silence as she took her seat, and left the next test in Applejack's hooves.>Whelp, reckon that just leaves me for the matter. Don't worry too much, it won't take long for this one.It didn't inspire much confidence in her 'client' when she rose.>Starlight Glimmer... Ah' gotta question.Only at that, did she finally raise her head.>Before ya' took the stand, ya' whispered something to me, and Ah'd like ta' share it. Would you be opposed to that?Slowly and stiffly, she shook her head.>Ah' thank ya'. Mah' question is, ya'll whispered ta' me "Ah' wish, Ah' wish", but ya' never said what that was exactly... would ya' mind sharing that wish with the courtroom?3/?
>>43518995It was a little unorthodox, and could be considered leading, but the judge found himself as rapt as everyone else when Glimmer stared blankly at the other mare, her mind frying trying to comprehend a simple command as if she were a worm told to pull off a backflip. She didn't even know where to start or what that meant."I... I wish..."The words came out, bitter."I wish I had my time travel powers."The court tensed, as if expecting that to be the start of a villain rising from the darkness and beginning a battle that would shake the ages. It was only a little disappointing that the only part that followed was her slumping down even further in defeat."I wish I had my powers back so I could just undo this whole stupid mess. I'm so used to making a minor mistake and just, resetting, undoing, starting over and over again until I get it right. Every time someone said the wrong thing and I have to nudge them, every time a plan went wrong and I had to correct it days before it happened, every time something big, something small. I could just fix it..."She stared out at the crowd and their judging eyes, their angry and judging eyes telling her all they thought of what she had done."I wish, I wish... I could just... take it all back."Her horn, if it could, would have sparked.>Glimmer... if Ah' pop off that ring on yer' horn right now, how far back would ya' go?The court, and likely far beyond, went silent. It stayed that way, until a shaking voice broke it."W-what?'>Was Ah' not clear? If Ah', right now, took off that inhibitor on yer' horn and gave ya' a big ol' Alicorn charge, how far back would ya' reset?"I... I...">Would ya' go back to when ya' got caught and make a run for it? Would ya' go back ta' when ya' said something wrong to Shining, and hope he took ya' back?"I don't... I..."Her eyes darted left and right like a frightened rabbit, seeing teeth in every shadow around her.>Or would ya' go back to before ya' even went in the portal, and never gone to that world at all?Seeing bright spots there too, when she felt a strange tug on her horn. She couldn't see it, the whole courtroom couldn't see it underneath that Stetson hat, but she felt it. The tempting magic tugging at the edge of the ring, making promises unsaid, offering a way out of it all. Every flaw, every bad choice, every single mistake, undone. All of it, undone forever and her freedom there, for all of time. That temptation to make things right, one last time.>Would ya' go there, knowing yer' kid was gone?Her heart was frozen, and no spell needed to be cast to pull it off. In all the temptation, in all the wondering and questioning, she truly had gotten lost in the fever of it all and forgotten everything between then and now. Maybe it was the fact she was cornered, maybe it was the heaviness of her heart knowing they would leave soon regardless, but she had questioned it without even knowing. Wondered it, even if she hadn't said it.4/?
>>43518996>Would ya' give them up for freedom, once and for all? We can't arrest ya' for stuff that didn't happen, after all... when are ya' going back to, Sunset?"...I wish... I wish..."She almost felt the magic in her horn."I wish I could go back to that morning, and instead of saying that stupid, stupid thing, just said... "Hey, I know you're not really the father, I know you didn't want them, but... I..."Her throat closed up, and no matter how much she wished she could continue, and how much she needed to, she couldn't. Not until the anger in her voice broke it first."I'm such an idiot."Not until she got mad, and it was stronger than any tears."I'm an idiot who got herself locked up for life, and I don't know what to do. They're going to be an alicorn, they're already going to be treated different, and once those kids find out their mom is locked up forever, they're going to leave. They're all going to leave them all alone, no friends but the suckups who want their power, no one to rely on when they need it except those who want to tap into what they can do and be, and eventually even they're going to want to leave me when it hits them how much of a loser I am! Who would want to live in a pretty cage all their life!? We can't have sleepovers, or parties! T-they wouldn't get to be a kid with someone like... me."It burned, until the candle reached its end, and she felt cold."That's all I was thinking about that morning. I woke up and saw their sleeping face, and when I thought about getting them a new toy for the crib it just... hit me. It hit me that I was looking around a room, a nice one, but I couldn't give them anything more. I couldn't buy a nice toy, I couldn't buy a nice crib, I couldn't get a tutor to help with their magic or wings, I couldn't do anything, and I never will? Who would hire me? How could I even get to work if they did? All I saw was a way, any way, for me to give them the life... they deserved."She put her face in her hooves, and cried. She cried as long as they let her, as long as it took. She cried, until someone finally spoke again.>Why not further back, then?Glimmer lifted her gaze, and still she cried."Because the one thing I wouldn't change... is my baby."Because she had reached the end.>Glimmer... what have you learned?It was a hard question, a brutal one really as much as it was degrading to be spoken of like a child."...It's different now."But one that finally made her look up again."I was so... so scared, of being abandoned. I was so angry at being left behind, I never understood why. I felt like destiny itself wouldn't let me keep what was mine, and I went further and further until I hurt ponies. I manipulated them, controlled them, lied to them to make them do what I wanted and I turned them into what I thought they should be."She winced at the memories, but could not stop them.5/?
>>43519002"I did all that, and for a brief moment it looked like I could just... undo it. Reset. Start over by taking away the thing that had caused it all, and putting something better in its place. Instead there was just war, and strife, and conquest and failure, and here I am now. I wish I could just... be forgiven. Say, "I'm sorry for causing wars like that!" and everyone just skips with me into a flower field!"How unlikely that would be."But... I can't.">There's always something ya' wish you could do different, isn't there? And for a time, ya' could. Just reset the whole thing, fudged it up, learned from it and did it better for a better tomorrow, eh? Wasn't that bad, Ah' reckon. Lot to learn from those mistakes, lot to find out before ya' make a better one.For a moment, they shared a smile."Yeah... but it's too late now."A sad one, but a smile all the same."It's too late to redo what could've been as something better, every mistake and mess up is there forever.">Yep."But..."Finally, she smiled, genuinely."But the good that came out of it, they're here too, aren't they? Every broken road lead somewhere.">That, they did."So... no, I can't change what went wrong, or where it went wrong, all I have, is...">What comes next. There's a whole world of possibility there, now. There's so many different paths to take. A different story that ain't gotta be weighed down by mistakes, but..."From what was learned along the way."She sat up a little straighter, her horn reaching a little taller."...I'm not the best thing for my child."The court reeled in shock, stunned by the declaration and bravado behind it."But... I love them. Truly, I do love them, and I want to see what comes next. I want to tell them all the mistakes I made, so they can learn from them. I want to show them all the good I've found, that's there too. I want to be there for them, and make something... better. New, not held down by what I was and what I've done. I made mistakes, I hurt ponies who... who I really shouldn't have."Her eyes cut over for just a second, just long enough for another to grow stiff as his heart beat a bit faster."Ones who... I really, truly, did love, and wish I'd appreciated more back when I had the chance. Maybe they're gone forever now, they probably are, but at least know if I could do it over again... I'd appreciate what they meant to all of this. So I hope that they can be raised better because they really truly do deserve the world... but I hope, I really do, that I can be there too. Maybe I don't deserve it, maybe I didn't earn it. But..."She went quiet, for too long.>Glimmer... what did ya' learn?She needed that last push."Dear Princess Applejack... I learned that sometimes, it's okay to accept when a mistake happens and you can't undo it. Sometimes, what you have to do instead... is do your best to fix it, and learn from it."That last, final piece, before it all came to a close.>...that's all.6/
>>43519007She took her seat, and the whole world waited.~Have you any other questions?~Finally, the pair of Celestia and Applejack shook their head.~Then... I-~'Wait!'He stood up, just before the gavel came down.'Judge, I know this is asking a lot, I know this is already at your limit, but... can we talk, for a moment? Us, and... them.'The others stared at him, stricken by his declaration.(I would like to speak as well, your honor? If you don’t mind, that is.)He just knew from the way the white alicorns faces lit up, and the wry orange face among them shrugged, there was only one answer to be made.~....Alright, but if this goes on more than a few minutes I'm calling it quits and having you jailed for disrupting my courtoom.~Shining, the second, smiled.'I will only take a second.As did Shining the First, Applejack, the Second, and Celestia, the one and only. They all huddled together, speaking quickly and with hushed tones, and never once did the smile on the Prime Applejack's face waver. When they broke at last, they lit up the room.(Judge... we know you would like to pass your verdict, but we have suggestions on how the ruling should go.)~Most do in these cases, Prince Shining Armor, is there any reason I should listen to these guidelines?~'Oh, we think... you'll find them acceptable.'For the very first time in this court, both sides shared the grip as they handed over a sheet of folded paper. A quick snatching of it, and a quick read later, and the judge rolled his eyes.~And how will you get around the... problem?~'It's only illegal near it, couple steps should be fine.'His poor old heart was going to give out any moment.~Could have saved so much time.~He sighed, but only because in his heart of hearts he knew that wasn't true. They had to do all of this, like the silly ponies they were.~Very well. In the matter of custody of the child of Starlight Glimmer and Shining Armor... and Shining Armor, this court has declared that, per their request, custody will be… shared.~He turned his world weary eye to the gaping mare still sitting in the stand.~That includes you, Miss Glimmer.~She didn’t know what to say, sitting there with lips flapping like a beached fish as she was, lost and adrift without any thoughts in her mind full of static and short circuits.“B-b-but I… but… but I…”‘Yeah, you did. And I think I'm going to be angry about it from now until the end of time. I doubt... no, I know, for a fact, we can't have back what we lost. That part is gone, forever.’She snapped over to him, looking to the stallion she had manipulated, used, and sought to abandon.‘But…’The same one who smiled, when he nudged a certain Princess Applejack, the second, at his side.7/9
>>43519011‘… I also know to listen to someone knows better than me on at least giving a second chance, almost destroying the world or no. Maybe you don't deserve everything for what you did... but you deserve something to work towards.’The mare didn’t say anything, just laid an orange hoof on his white one and held it steady, as any strong tree would the fruit it bore. It was such a powerful sight that Glimmer had to turn her shaking gaze to the other two white alicorns, just to be sure this was not some cruel trick she would deservedly be given. Their smile put her at ease, but somehow broke her at the same moment.{Oh, don't give him that look. Frankly, my dear, my poor Shining Armor has an absolutely terrible habit about forgiving mares who mess with his life. Honestly, it’s a terrible habit, what am I to do with him?}Every word was spoken with love as she intertwined her wing with his, locking them together like fingers holding tight.(We’re not saying to let you out or anything, but... the portal can be outside of reach, can't it? No reason you have to go into it, and besides…)‘Maybe it’s better, if they see the best of both worlds?’She didn’t know what to say, she couldn’t even begin to say them if she did. She was sitting there, broken in all the best ways, and locked into place as her ‘lawyer’ finally walked around and put her hoof on her shoulder.>Ya’ ain’t gonna get ‘em all the time like you had, there’s gonna be days… yer’ gonna miss them. They’re gonna leave ya’ for a bit. Ya’ okay with that?She finally looked up with a tear streaked smile.“…I’ll make some new friends before they get back, and… I hope they make some they can tell me all about.”Glimmer couldn’t control herself, and she hugged that pony with all her might.“Thank you, Princess Applejack, for being there for me.”>...Never could fix everythin’, could Ah’?The hug came, right back.>Always something…A Princess’s work was never done.>Ah’ was gonna miss.But for now, at least, something was.~...Wait a minute, how long as that baby been gone from that high chair!?~8/9
>>43519014Everyone’s head snapped around, only now realizing that in all the previous points of the case beginning from the table being brought in, they hadn’t looked back to the baby behind them, they hadn’t seen them at all, they didn’t even know if it had moved. The poor judge slamming his head into the stand and glaring at all present had left him completely blind to the baby’s disappearance.~Oh no, now we’re going to have to chase the thing all through the halls, being zapped all the way! Who knows what twists and turns will be found, who will run into who, and who will-~>Yer’ honor? They’re just in the smaller seat, couldn’t hold the dang plushie that high off the ground.He raised ever so slightly, and there the baby was, still hugging the doll with a gunshot hole in its head.~Oh.~>What, did ya’ think we forgot about them? Come on… Ah’ just used some common sense!The whole courtroom laughed, and the gavel came down.~Case adjourned! And now… you may hug the baby.~There was a sound like a gunshot, yet a puft of a pillow as a black blur shot from one end of the room to the other.^Welcome ta’ the family, little fella! Ah’m yer’ big sissy, and Ah’m gonna be the best dang big sissy ta’ you in the whole wide world!^With the baby giggling in glee, everything finally felt right at last.>Whelp… guess Ah’ should go back ta’ work. Ya’ll can handle the particulars, can’t ya’? Equestria’s waiting...One last case, had finally been fixed, and a new world awaited.Would it be better, would it be worse, would it be magical or mundane, chaotic or peaceful, strange or familiar? There were infinite possibilities waiting ahead.>See ya’ in the next one… partner.They would be found another day.^Yepper! Ah’m gonna love ya’ bunches, little… HEY! Ya’ll never said what the babies name was!^On the next story waiting to be told.
>>43519015Perfection.>Friendship>Applejack coming into her own as a teacher like Celestia>Reminding that in the end, it’s all about fixing things I’m not ashamed to admit I got a little misty eyed thinking about all we could’ve done better, might’ve done different, wishing to tell it all again but right, but knowing this story is as it was because so many writers stumbled and failed but kept going so they could make a better world. And now, all we have is what comes next and what we learned along the way.Hug that sibling Two, you deserve this better world we built.
>>43519015HUG DAT BABY
>>43519015BRAVO! Only a few stumbles along the way, but damn if that wasn't top shelf /pa/
>>43519015Wow, last step for AJ to Be Celestia. She gets the friendship reports now.
>>43519015I love this so much
>>43519015They shouldn’t have hit as hard as it did
>>43519015It feels like it needed to end with ~Don’t you know you’re all my very best friends~
>>43519015I appreciate the fakeout calling back to us using the chase thing way too much.That said, Princess Applejack always did know what it meant to be a Princess.
>>43519015>Yes we’re fixing everyone >EVERYONE>No we don’t care the series is over!
>>43519322I loved the subtle moment of everyone expecting Celly to give one of her classic tests, only for her to step aside and let AJ finally get a chance to prove to the world she deserves it after retiring
>>43519015>Two"Applejack"~~~~>Hey'a, Applejack? Ah' gots a question now that the whole thingamathing is over."Ah'm proud of ya' for the restraint.">Well Ah' did consider zotzin' mah'self... but anyway! Ah' was wonderin', do we have jury trials, or is it just whoever is in charge makes choices?"...Ah. Right. That there is a good question, and yer' a good girl for askin'!">Thank ya'!"And Ah' can see why ya'll have been confused, what with it never once being shown onscreen, and many times Celestia just lets off crimes onscreen with no actual deliberation. We don't even see judges, do we!">Noper!"And obviously Ah' would know iffin' we have juries because Ah' do paperwork all the time and surely, surely, at some point Ah', not Celestia, would'a checked and seen if this legal thing was happenin'.">That there's just obvious!"And ta' that Ah' say...">..."...dang it.">Didn't check?"Ah' didn't check, all the legal crap we did was just me makin' a princess choice.">That ain't a good governanancin'."No, it ain't, because obviously we only see the high profile stuff.">Well yeah, cause that's where the story went!"So Ah' probably neglected just... all the petty crime Ah' ain't got time for.">Maybe!"...ya'll can say it.">Nahhh yer' in a good mood cause ya' did good, Ah'mma let'cha off with this one. Everybody makes mistakes!"...w-why didn't Ah' adopt you...">Malley to feel better?"Can't hurt..."
>>43519015Wonder if we should’ve saved this for the end…
>>43520133She was too much of a young lady to adopt at that point!
>>43519015>AJ"Pinkie"~~~~>...So is Twilight alright?"She applauded you if it makes you feel better, hooves just shot up and tapped and then back she went.">Ah. She's fine, then. She'll be more fine when she realizes she's an aunt to yet another kid-~NOT AGAIIIIINNNNNNNNN!~>..."...I think she-">Might need a break, yeah.
>>43520463Poor girl
>>43520348Naaaaah, this "lost" chapter is closed, but the story never really ends... NOT AS LONG AS WE KEEP IT GOING! Twice a year! Anniversary threads! Apple and Jack a hundred years!We can keep going, we can keep it up! We can go /pa/st the end... "Beyond Journey's End", even! :D :D :D
>>43519322>Dear Princess Applejack, I didn't learn anything, I was right all along.
>>43520829>Applejack"Celestia"~~~~>Stop sendin' me the same dang letter every week! It's gettin' old!"Stop opening them!">Ya'll put different names on them! Ah' think they're important!"Oh look at that, someone felt like they were going to read a fun letter about something only to hear "Ah' didn't learn anything!", imagine that.">One time! ONE GADDANG TIME YA' FRIGGEN GIANT PAIN!"Admit I was right about everything!'
>>43521005Ahh... I'm gonna miss this, gonna have to wait till next year for another hit of the goodstuff.
>>43521005>SHININ' GET YER' WIFE!~Chrysalis, no!~(Hey!)~Sorry, force of habit.~
You know I just wanted to read the Desu archive to see an old story, and how fortunate I was someone put Princess Applejack in the header, since I don’t really come to /mlp/ anymore. And on that note, my apologies for the delay. And without further adieu.>>43487273>>43499124INTOTHE WIKITHEY GO/PA/Ls FOR LYFE
>>43521079Oh holy shit into the wiki guy is alive.Happy to see ya' back.
>>43521079WIKI GUY LIIIVES
>>43521079Righteous.>AJ"Salt"~Various~~>Ah' just realized! Ah' gotta question, Shining Armor the second!"You do not have to keep doing that.">What're yer' unmarried livin' in sin harem gonna do when ya' bring a kid home!?"Do you have to put it like that?">Ah' mean yer' already livin' against the wishes of Faust-personal friend o' mine by the by- due to not tyin' the knot as any good noble soul should and instead livin' as if ya' were no different than a dog out in the wild, but now yer' bringin' them home new ones!"...I take it you have opinions on the whole "I didn't get married" thing.">NAHHHHH. Can't wait to see those mares whip ya' for this."Well, for your information... actually it's easier just to show you. Come on."PORTAL LATER"Hey, girls? I have news! The little ones have a new sibliiiing!"~Good heavens, he hath absconded away and bedded some random mare, tis truly what we believe!~~My darling, cheating on us with out lust in his heart, how could he? Oh woe, oh dear!~~I should probably fly over there and punch him really hard or something, because that's what romantic partners do! We hit others who do something shocking without giving them time to explain! Because gosh darn it it's just so comical to see him go "Whaaaa!" while trying to give us context!~~...What is WRONG with all of you!?~~Um, Ember doesn't get the sarcasm, everyone.~~We are trying, darling, she's... rough around the edges. What is this about a sibling to my little pride and joy, Shining?~"Turns out Glimmer was-"~Say no more, I should've known. Ugh, with her crawling all over you as she was, bragging about how much you liked her more! Well! I certainly hope you took full custody.~"Shared with her and with other me, actually, it was a whole event. I'll tell you all about it at dinner, you girls deserve a Shiny cooking treat."~How lovely! The hotpots, please!~~Oh, yes!~~He better-~"I'll make the side vitabites for you, Dash."~See this? This is why you didn't get punched in the face.~>..."Shocked?">Y...yeah? Why are they all acting-PORTAL NOISES!(Did any of ya'll act like a dang fool instead of usin' common sense!?)~No, Applejack.~(Good... good. Was worried Ah'd have ta' get mah' stare on.)>Ahhhhh... oh."It's all yer' fault.">Shaddup.~Make food, stallion!~WHACHA!>.."I'm a little whipped."
>>43521079>Fate and nostalgia brought you back just in time>Immediately got back to workFUCK YES! THE PACT IS SEALED! LETS GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO->That feel when the band's almost back together-OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!
>>43521038>Applejack"Chrysalis"~~~"Hey, Appleass! Gotta question.">Is it why yer' beneath me? Because that'll never change."You're lucky I like being beneath someone else more that I won't challenge that.">He got'cha on that short a leash?"Only if I ask nicely.">Ah' wanna complain but ya'll have been like this for almost as long as Ah've known you, really iffin' Ah'm gonna point it out ya'll can just bring up anyone with half a mind would just walk away."Or fly! Have you forgotten your wings yet again?">Howdy, Pot, what a nice color on yer' ass."Aha... they only did that sometimes.">Uh huh."What was I doing... OH! OH OH OH! Right! Question!">And here Ah' was hopin' Ah' done threw ya' off the trail."No, it's a good thing, really!">Ya' know what? Yer' giving me hope. Maybe ya' done changed in all this time, maybe ya' done finally got around to bein' a gal who will bring me smiles, maybe, just maybe, things can change like a changeling. Tell me, gal, what is yer' good news question? Somethin' like "Do Ah' like apples" or somethin' and ya' hoof me one?"No! I just wondered if you had any issue with me naming at least one of them Applejack 3, it's vacant now. Changed his name back to Pharynx if you can believe it.">Ah'... reckon Ah' don't? Didn't before Ah' guess, but three? And which one wants the name?"In order, Two is taken and hopefully the one I give the name to.">Give it?"Well yeah, that is how this works. I just wanted to ask because I'm having trouble making enough and figured one of them would look country.">Makin' enough... what..."...">No."...">N-nooooooooo...."I strangled him for it, if it makes you feel better.">NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO-"What's your opinion on babysitting like fifty of them?"
>>43521457Arana's got like, a million baby booties to knit.
>>43521555Better doublecheck for the bombs
>>43521800No no no, itty bitty tiny micro explosions, like pop rocks on their little feetzies! Imagine the giggles!
>>43521079So happy to have my art in the wiki for the first time!
>>43522032Welcome to the halls of champions /pa/l
>>43522032That’s the barn where we keep the fancy pictures, we like those folks
>>43520748Two Anniversary threads a year sounds like the best idea
>>43521915Goddamn adorable.>>43522032Enjoy being one of the proud, the art /pa/ls
>>43521915PIPIPIPIPOPOPOPOPOPOPOPOPOP>Forgot my special power was foreleg tapdancing, didn't you?"You know that doesn't come up very often."
>>43523142I know that there's no in-pa-canon reason to assume they gain anything from the dad, but I kind of want the batch to come out weirdly well shielded.
>>43523324Oh my god, they bubble themselves and just roll around like an army of hamsterballs! Making little put-put sounds as their booties explode, giggling all the way!
>>43523353>Applejack"Chrysalis"~~~>Chrysalis? Ah' gotta question."I thought this was us asking that of you? Flip that around?">Tia asked a couple, Ah' deserve at least one."Fiiiine, what can I help you with oh Princess Applejack.">It's about the new kids."...be more specific.">Your kids."Be wayyyyy more specific.">The new Hive."Ohhhhh... I'm not answering medical questions-">Ya'll didn't say they could friggen get magic powers from their parents!"They can't!... I think!... you know actually now that I think about it, we explored Changeling Queens had unique to their hive powers but seldom did we explore the idea they might've had a genetic mutation due to who they had their children with. This... went really unexplored.">Can't imagine why!"Is it because-">It's cause ya'll were afraid of that friggen heart thing."Right, and then Two discovered we didn't have to do that. HAH! Showed you, reality! Now I can have kids and not die horribly!">Ya'll always could've done that."Not their fault the Best Queen in the Universe hadn't been born yet, oh what a pity and a shame.">Truly the dang world wept. Can we get back on track?"We can but you know me, I'll probably veer off again. I think I have a problem.">...did ya'll get into the coffee again?"Wouldn't matter if I did. Motherhood is sobering.">...weirdly deep."That's what he said, HAH!">Ah' just... ugh, just explain to me how this happened?"Well when a stallion loves a big, black booty, he-">AH' MEANT THAT!She looks down just in time to see a baby changeling roll by in a green bubble shield."Oh...">..."When a stallion who's very good at shields loves a big, black booty and-">CHRYSALIS!"Whaaaaat? They take after their father, boo hoo.">They BOUNCE!"So?"CRASH"...you can't prove-"CRASHCRASHBOOMBAMCRUSHBANG"Huh... someone should probably do something about that.">CHRYSALIS!"I'm going! I'm going!... you know if you hadn't let me leave the ballroom-">CHRYSALISSSS!"Just saying it's all yer'-">AH' KNOWWWWWWWCRASH"Applejack Three, no! Mommy likes that statue!">...Ah' knowwww..."
>>43523393Oh my god, did we kill Velvet? 50-ish granbebehs, it must be too much!
>>43523511Nah, I bet she's chillin... like you have to... when you're completely covered in bees. Granbe-bees
>>43523511>Twilight Velvet"Applejack"~~~>TWO! HUNDRED!"...Ah' feel like Ah'm supposed to be up there-"BOP"Thank ya' kindly for hittin' mah' face and not mah' hat. Also, ow.">You did not tell me they could make TWO HUNDRED!"Ain't like it was exactly two hundred.">..."Not better?">I was going banananut crazy just with the EIGHT that we had before!"That math ain't right.">And now we have TWO! HUNDRED! PLUS!"...Reckon so?">Well Princess Applejack, I just have one question!"Ah' didn't do it! Why're ya' mad at me!? Ah' wanted him snipped!">WHOA WHAT?!"...What?">What did you say!?"...Ah' feel like Ah' done walked into the barn when the Ram found a ewe.">Don't be racist!"...Ah' keep forgettin' they talked that one time..."BOPOW!>My! Question!"Fine, fine! What is yer' gaddang question!?">Did you know this could happen!?"...well he ain't snipped, so-"BOP"Ah'm sorry fer' talkin' yer' son's balls.">You should be! Because I'm furious!"That yer' gonna be completely overwhelmed and it's a gaddang army and what the heck are we supposed to-">That I didn't have time to make enough ornaments before Hearths Warming! It's only a few months away! I barely am going to have time to knit costumes!"...what.">Why didn't you warn me, Applejack!? Why!?"...Ah'm sorry?">Good!She pulls out a long, long list, and crosses off a name.>Lets see here... oh! I need to go yell at Pinkie Pie next, do you have any idea where she is?"... are ya'll just yellin' at everyone mildly connected to it?">Yah huh."This ain't because Ah' caused it in some way?">Well it is, but priorities."This ain't all mah' fault?">Not unless you interrupted them!"...Ah' dunno how to feel about this.">I'm an annoyed citizen who got angry at a government official for something they're only somewhat connected to that mildly inconvenienced them due to unrelated workloads, this should be the most normal part of your day."...Tia come back."
So... whose kissing all these babies? Pretty sure you need to do that as a political figure... you know, for good boy points. Pad out the resume, ya know? Plus they're a discriminated minority group? Extra points maybe?
>>43523807>Applejack"Gilda"~~~~~"Applejack, why are you ponies so stupid?!">...Howdy ta' you too, former wonderbolt Ah' deeply regret hiring."Quiet, you, then be unquiet long enough to explain why you ponies are stupid!">Ah' hate ta' ask, but could'ja narrow it down? Ah've been workin' very hard on this and Ah' was pretty sure Ah' had at least gotten them past the logical reasonin' of gophers here, hearin' they might'a slipped is heartbreaking."Your dumb publicist that you were dumb to have help me with her dumb ideas gave me this dumb list of suggestions to "Better relations with the changelings' now that their hive is stupid big!">Big is... stretching it. Ya' do know 200 critters is like, a small town, right? At best? We're hoping for generational change here, not "Ya'll are still alive" change."Not the point!">Ah' learned fancy mathmatics and Ah' wanna spout 'em."The point is this suggestion is dumb, you dweeb!">Ya'll only said that once when we first met, why is that yer' go to insult?"Read!">...What's wrong, here?"I knew it, as dumb as everyone else! Line six, lady!">What, it's just a common thing politicians do-oh."Exactly!">Gilda, this is a copy paste, they just didn't change it for each race-"So they're racist!">Gilda... ya'll messed up trying to kiss the baby, didn't you?"She knew what was going to happen! She set me up! I have a damn beak what did she think was going to happen!? YOU-">Ah'll go tell Chrysalis yer' sorry for poking her kid, dang."Thank you.">...That all?"...Could you put in a good word for me-">We ain't continuing that one bit about the mindwhammy."With the Wonderbolts, I meant! I might want to go back!">Really?"Tell me it doesn't sound nicer than being a politician!">...fair enough.
>>43523856>Bird pecking bugsIt's in her nature.
I can’t fuxking navigate through all of the old threads. We NEED a proper archive for the essential canon shit. Someone talented reading this, MAKE IT HAPPEN
>>43524186>The Councils of Carthage: /pa/ edition
>>43523571>"Ah'm sorry fer' talkin' yer' son's balls."Most normal thing to say lmao
>>43524186The previous thread and wiki have them in just one big list
>>43524768What number thread was that again?
>>43524838Here’s the afterparty which has every previous thread https://desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/42486707/#q42486707 it even has ones that got nipped for reasons.
>>43524881Thx
Oh shit, I almost completely missed this thread. Has it been that long since the last? I swear the /pa/ thread last year came after the anni, unless I'm wrong. (The thread was likely kept alive for a good while and I simply joined it late haha)Either way, I'd like to apologize to anyone who enjoyed /pp/ (Princess Pinkie). I started the thread at the end of the last /pa/ thread as a way to carry the torch, and a ton of fun ideas were shared in it but ultimately I ended up being one of the main support pillars of the whole thing with my writing towards the end. There was a cute story about Pinkie going to make peace with the Diamond Dogs after a lot of things about her trolling Twilight and I had a really nice back and forth with one of the writers, but ultimately the pressure to keep the thread bumped with my OC got me burned out pretty quickly, kek. I know I was also concerned that Pinkie would be written as too stupid or ditzy and really wanted to try and showcase her emotional intelligence, bravery, and thoughtfulness to counteract that, and present a very strong version of the character.I made the thread so I felt a responsibility to stick to it, but I really don't think I was cut out for staying on top of that kind of thing at that point in time. I was a little bit into my next post of the greentext but I think the thread died before I could post it. Again, my apologies to anyone who was enjoying it; I've felt a little guilty this whole time about it.
>>43525109No need to feel guilty about anything like that, trying something new is always going to be appreciated even if it doesn't pan out. It was nice to see something like the old days for a bit, and I do think there was something there that could've grown into more. But ultimately, like I said way upstream, /pa/ was really lucky when it came out. /mlp/ as a whole just isn't the same place. The same posters aren't here, and many many have left for good. The board culture isn't as silly and fun as it was. I think, truly, Princess Pinkie could've been a wonderful sister thread to /pa/ if they came out together, you had some ideas and you got Pinkie's character enough to build on it like Applejack got built on here. But no need to dwell on what could've been. It was fun for what it was, and fun for a time, and hey if you ever want to throw some crossover in next anniversary, we welcome it. Thanks for trying, and I wish you'd had better luck.Stand proud, you made smiles.
>>43525109I was the other writer, and I had fun making one shot sillies again. Don't feel guilty about it, if nothing else you let me do a bit of silly times again. I miss those days...
>Applejack"Shining Armor"~???~~~~~~~"Applejack? I've got a question for you!">Gettin' one in while the gettin's good, are ya'?"I do sense our ever impending doom via our own creation coming ever closer with every passing moment, yes. Will it be by my daughter, the firstborn alicorn? Racism cropping back up and somehow wiping out countries? Maybe it'll be a good old fashioned meteor, the possibilities are endless!">Ah' welcome it more every day. So what is yer' question, Prince of the Empire, how might this humble country Princess help ya' out?"It's not particularly complicated, do you have a backup of the paperwork you store? We go through it a lot, but we didn't really establish where it goes when goes.">We have a warehouse under guard that cycles out the older stuff, no need to keep records of every minor purchase after all until we figure out a way to store the information in more manageable way. Sunset mentioned magic boxes that could do it, but she ran into a problem with a, what'd she call it? Semiconductor? She can't make those."Tragic. We just repurposed the stable parts of the unstable mines and had extra room, wanted to know if you wanted in on it.">For a price, naturally."Naturally indeed.">Ah'll put it to a proposal and get back to you."All I can ask for. Heh, our lives really do revolve around paperwork, don't they?">Nahhh, ain't that bad, yer' just bein hyperbolic. Paperwork ain't for everything!Knock knock!>Come in!... Tarnation!She was never going to get used to seeing the Titan Changeling herself, Chitania, just walking around like it was perfectly normal. Especially not wearing what looked like what could be described as a business necktie and holding a comparatively tiny piece of paper in her hoof.>What're ya' doin' round these parts? Ya' never come this way.Chitania scoffed, nodding toward the stallion beside her.~I'm actually here for him. Your wife informed me you went this way.~"Which one?"~The paperwork one.~"Ahhhh. And I see more paperwork for me to handle! What's this?"~A requisition for babymaking forum.~>WHAT!?"That is not the right title."~You know what I mean.~"I do, as a matter of fact, I'm guessing you were trying to request another procedure?"~The first batch has been exemplary and they are adorable, but they're also old enough now I don't have to watch them constantly. It seemed like an appropriate time.~"Can't wait to get back into baby snuggling, eh?"~You can read me like a book. Thirteen misses when they were "Smaller, cuter, and less messy".~"Never lasts long enough, does it? Alright, I'll look over the requisition and see about scheduling a meeting to go over options, did you get signatories already?"~I went to all of them first.~1/2
>>43525390>Smart, hoping you didn't have to petition them too hard.~None requested monetary compensation, but Princess Spitfire requested researching into the viability of a fastball special.~"She's been trying to get that program off the ground for years."~Likewise Princess Forty Two requested "Punch". I assume she means another sparring match.~"She might be talking about her standup routine, that's the name of the show."~I shall gain clarification, I like standup. Autumn Blaze puts on amazing shows.~"We have to go sometime! Wanna go sometime with us, Applejack? I can fill out the visitation forms for both of us.">...what."She'll get back to you. Now, with signatories out of the way, did you partition land for expansion and clear it with Rainshine?"~Filed away, and she's enthusiastic about it. She says it's nice to have someone else be to blame for burning things down.~"Ahhhh, that Rainshine."~She also inquired about diplomatic unity again.~"Gonna have to send her another denial request, this is a conservation effort foremost, not a diplomatic one."~Pity, she's happy you're "Tall enough" now.~"Heard that one before! But I'll see if I can relax the tariff on the export of wood to give her a boost, that'll make her happier."~She'll appreciate that.~"Well looks like everything's in order, I'll get this verified and signed as soon as possible and we can resume the procedure for the Changeling Conservation Project."~Excellent.~>..."Something wrong?">Ya' make her do paperwork so ya'll can knock her up?"It's a procedure, yeah.">We have paperwork for that?"Yep!"~It can be perilous though, there's so much to doublecheck. One time when I was working it, a point was off ever so slightly. It was a real pain in the ass.~>Get offa mah' dang balcony.
...QUICKLY, HOW MANY MORE BABEHS CAN WE SPAWN BEFORE THE THREAD ENDS!?We're gotta speed run the birth of the new cast for /pa/ Blue: Into The Wild Two Yonder!
>>43525393You can admit it, we won’t judge. All of that, allllllll of that, was just the setup for that one joke at the end.We know either way
>>43525146Thank you! I'm happy you liked it and I'm really touched to hear you felt I got Pinkie's character right. I was reflecting on it while making that original post there and I realized that, yeah, if there were more content creators I probably wouldn't have felt like I was shouldering the thread all by myself.And I certainly wouldn't mind revisiting it someday. Daydreaming with /mlp/ is so much fun; hell, the daydreaming about what the setting for the story was like was a riot. My favorite was Pinkie having a giant castle that was just one inch taller than Twilight's and it driving her absolutely mad, and her just blowing up Sugarcube Corner to make room for it like 'you were just supposed to do that!' given what happened to Golden Oaks. It being this giant party place with fun music and bright lights in the middle of the night, only a short walk away from Twilight's Library and them both having these garish castles and it making Twilight's sleep at night a pain, oh my god.One of my favorite details was that Pinkie's castle was a giant My Little Pony playset, that'd open up in the middle like a huge dollhouse and had detachable slides and fun things for ponies that could be placed on different parts of it. It fit her and her presence as the official girly pink pony merchandising mascot for the actual brand so well, I loved it.>>43525201Oh no way, thank you so much! I loved playing off of you. One of my favorite things you did was Twilight or whoever just doubting that Pinkie would do anything much with the Diamond Dogs all while Pinkie was actually doing a fantastic job at making friends with them. I'm very "vanilla" in the way I write, so, friendship is always magic and being kind will always see the way through, hence the tone and direction I took. My ponies don't even really swear, and my biggest concern is capturing the magic and warmth of the Equestria we all fell in love with, as amateur as my writing is. Never thought I'd see you again my man. You were the only guy writing with me and one of the reasons I felt so bad for not continuing; I felt like I let you down. I appreciate hearing from you.
>>43525494>I felt like I let you down.Nah, it was fun for what it was, and channeling early-season Twilight getting frazzled at Pinkie just being silly was a treat, and getting to play with Pinkie being Princess Pinkie again like I did here in /pa/ during the April Fools days was fun. Glad you popped in to say hi too. Always did wonder after the thread dropped.
>>43525494> You were the only guy writing with me I think lnpp anon popped in for at least one or two stories too. Regardless, yeah it was fun to think up ideas even if I never joined in due to chronic lurker syndrome
>>43525515>and channeling early-season Twilight getting frazzled at Pinkie just being silly was a treatOh dude that was one of my favorite things to write. They're by far my favorite comedy duo in the show.>>43525571Right, yeah! There was another one. Something about Pinkie just making cotton candy clouds for the lulz much to the anger of Rainbow Dash who was trying to clear the skies that day? I noted those ones having a different writing style. Those posts at least were one of the ones that inspired me to aim for a more heartfelt direction with Pinkie. Her being mischievous is fun, but I was worried about the lack of social awareness the show sometimes exaggerated for the sake of gags and conflicts happening becoming a big part of her depiction in the thread - her fumbling with her new chaos magic and ultimately just making mistakes and dragging others down. Still very entertaining stories in those posts, I just also looked at them and went 'oh, hey, here's this interpretation of her that's super meaningful to me - I wanna do that, too!'.
>>43525413>Shining Armor"SAlt"~~~~~>...Your Canterlot Castle looks nicer than mine."HA!">Don't tell Applejack. It's just the decorum with the flowers, they pop!"Well I'll have you know it's all thanks to the lovely efforts of my Rarity. She has a lot more free time now since the whole Princess thing didn't exactly pan out.">Yeah my universe Rarity, you know, improved."...Please don't tell her that, she's getting weird here recently. Sometimes she just hops up and screams something about got everything or something and then just goes on like nothing happened.">That doesn't sound safe."It's not, so just tell me the reason you hopped into my universe and get the obvious pain you're going to inflict on me over with. I know that's why you're here! You don't come to me except to hurt me! You know you hurt yourself!">Normally, yes! But actually it was more about this note I got from Mom, regarding the number of grandbehbehs."Shouldn't that be something you take up with her?">Your mom version of our mom, who apparently did not take it well when my version of our mom told her about my recent kids."Ohhhh... oh.">Yeah so, she says for the most part she's pretty happy, but is curious as to why you stopped and points out my mom and her agreed the multi-count from Chrysalis doesn't count, but still we should be neck and neck considering our similar numbers. In particular, she's bringing up why Fluttershy's not at three at least."Seriously?">It was a very long and detailed note, one that unnecessarily mentions she was expecting more with how often you go at it. What's up with that?"I've been caught a couple times, Luna is not discreet.">Now, when you say a couple times..."I mean it's not like it's every time.">Now I'm concerned, are you doing your lovey-dovey time? I specifically said you needed less snooker time and more lovey-dovey time."I'm lovey-doveying! I rolled it in with Dad time to do wholesome family moments. We do hallmark stuff in perfect lighting and everything.">Hm... improvement, but you really need to do more solo lovey-dovey time. You can't do lovey-doveytime with snooker time, that's cuddle time, whole other beast. I recommend swapping out one snookering for a pure loveydovey time, each!"I thought you came here because the letter said I needed more effective snookering?">Right right right, got carried away there."Why do you even care?">Well what I failed to mention is this is not the first letter."Oh?">It is not the tenth letter."...oh?">It is not the hundredth letter."...oh."1/2
>>43525904>So if I may make a suggestion, at least one more Granbehbeh so she stops flooding my mailbox first, then heavy lovey-dovey during pregnancy... assuming they want it. I just noticed mom is making a lot of assumptions about if they want it at all. Huh. Not a lot of input from us, this might actually need some rebellion. On your part, I don't want to get yelled at. Do you know if any of them even want another one?"We haven't broached the topic, but I got a lot of hints from Luna. And Fluttershy. And Rarity... come to think of it, the only one who outright said no more kids is Ember.">Really?"She feels like the last one "Didn't come out right".">Oh my gosh, are they okay!?"Well-"Out of nowhere a white, shimmering scaled blur shot into Salt's leg, nearly snapping it right there. He held on despite that, and kept a strained if loving smile on his face as he looked down to the pearly draconic face looking up at him.~Daddy daddy daddy daddy daddy!~"Yes, sweetie?"~I love you!~"I love you, too."~I had to tell you cause I didn't today! Did I tell you I love you yesterday?~"You did."~Cause I love you, daddy! And I didn't think I told you yesterday but mom said I did I just didn't tell you cause I took a nap and that don't count as a new day cause it was only an hour so I'm just gonna do it to be on the safe side, love you, daddy!~The dragon reached up, pecked the stallion on the cheek with a kiss, and zipped off before anything else could be said, their magical horn propelling them at speeds no other drake dare dreamed.>..."Ember sometimes just sits in the corner and asks where it all went wrong.">....gnngg..."That's my response on the inside too. Did you know that one almost destroyed the world in a future timeline? Turns out when you curb back the whole statue and raised to be considered a god thing they don't get too big a head. Weird.">...note to self for Flurry..."Hm?">Just tell mom that you're fine with the kids you have and she'll back off, we don't need a ton of kids and she's pushy sometimes but not heartless!"But what if-">Or go ask to make more, I don't care! Just please, no more letters! Eighteen keeps trying to file them, Two almost set them on fire, Flurry did set them on fire, Spitfire keeps poking at her stomach, Forty Two tried to punch them and Cadence is getting so many mixed signals and my version of mom is getting ideas! Gah!With that, he stomped off, no doubt back to his world. Only when he was long gone did the stallion shrug, and turn the corner, already considering his options of having a reasonable talk with his mother about boundaries, especially universals ones, regardless of who bragged to who across time and space. Or taking his shot and rolling the dice they would say yes."Well I do have those old baby clothing taking up space in storage..."He was not a complex stallion, and entered in the nearby office."Hey, Applejack? Wanna make a baby?"(...Ah'm listening.)
>>43525908First off, super happy the gag of Ember-Kid being over the top nice and kind is still around, that was easily my second favorite thing from the Saltkids besides the Jojo kid.Second, I have to imagine AUJ's brain just fried and is like "Ah' have to see where he's going with this."
>>43526015The thing is my mind is it actually goes down and just somehow... AJ knows.
>>43525908She's maybe sickened but definitely curious
>>43526226She hasn’t burst into scream so not yet>
>>43525908The proper response is (who the fuck starts a conversation like that!? Ah’m just sitting down!)
>>43526015>Alt-Ember"Salt"'???'~~~>This is all your fault!"...yeah? Technically.">You made him like this!"Genetically that is the correct answer, yes.">Now I've got a froufrou dragon that everyone is going to make fun of!"Factually incorrect, not 'everyone', statistically there are always outliers.">He goes around telling his siblings he loves them and he's gonna make them flower crowns! FLOWER CROWNS!"He has fingers and it makes life a lot easier, pulling it off with hooves is the real challenge.">He wants to give everyone fruit baskets because he can reach the top ones! She asked if we could make a nice clubhouse out of the Inferno Stone! That was supposed to be a monument to their power as a legendary dragon of godlike creation! We were supposed to make the one dragon to rule them all!"Technically still in the realm of possibility.">You promised me a super dragon, damn it! Where is my super dragon!?"Technically I promised you a super powerful dragon.">AND!?"Annnnd... Sweetie?"'Yes, daddy!'"I think I dropped my keys under the cave, can you check and see if they're down there?"'Sure can!'And Ember was forced to witness her child reach out and call magic to the horn jutting from the top of their head. She could only stare as the cave, an underground structure of considerable size enough to house the hoard of a dragon, was literally lifted out of the ground as if grasped by the hand of a god. The entire cave, and all its contents, floated above them all."Guess I didn't leave them there. Thank you, honey, you can put it down now."'Okay! I like helping!'And with that, it was lowered back and the magic sealed every broken crack and crevice, leaving no sign it had ever moved save the very large dragon within wondering what had just happened."Told you so.">...Put another one in me."And ponies said my game was bad."
>>43526226>Applejack"Twilight"~~~~~~>So anyway Ah' was thinkin' if we moved the Summer Sun Celebration over to Ponyville this year, we could boost their tourism revenue."Sweet Apple Acres having trouble, I take it?">Ah'm more concerned with the rebuilding process after Mayor Muffin's assistant Cloudchaser got into the robots again."How do we keep missing those!?">Ya'll swear they grew out of the ground. But besides that, Ah'm puttin' forth an initiative to have the Summer Sun Celebration in a different town every year to do the same and boost tourism, kinda like the Equestrian games but with less overhead."It is popular worldwide, but won't Canterlot kick up a fuss about their own loss of revenue?">Our tourism has been flat for years, they can put a complaint in the box iffin' it actually is a problem."Fair enough, and how are we looking on Winter Stores?">Ahead of schedule, and with Chitania telling you that technique Myrmecocystus used to preserve food it should go even further."Well, it wasn't food exactly-">Works on fruit and we're not talkin' about it further. We got the Changelings downstairs workin' on it, we're gonna have fresh tasting stuff for Hearths Warming."Good all around. Oh, did we finalize that new expansion for the schoolhouse in Ponyville?">Finalized and shipped, construction starts tomorrow, with any luck we'll-GAHHHHHHHHH AHHHHHHHHH AHHHHHHHHH!"GAH WHAT WHAT WHAT!?">NOT BEFORE ME NOT BEFORE ME AHHHHHHHH!"Applejack why?!">CELESTIA IT'S ALL YER' FAULLLLLLLLLLLTTTTTTTT! AHHHHHHHHHH"...I AM SO CONFUSED!"An entire dimension away, a certain pair of orange and white alicorn swore they heard her...
>>43527560SHE KNOWS
>>43527560Shoulda snipped when ya had the chance AJ
>>43527560This is what happens when you take sooo long to pop some kids, beaten to the punch!
>>43527253Godly power doesn't come with godly attitude. But at least it's born from godly sex
>>43527560You just know that she’s gonna snap out of it and have no idea what she was even screaming about
