>>43515674
>Eat grass and garbage
>Harass schoolfillies walking home
>Do a couple rapes to have some variety

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>>43515674
Sell myself on the streets to poor mares in need

>>43515674
>rape

>>43515674
I'd get the fuck out of Manehattan. Probably go be unhoused in a field somewhere, as nature intended. Harass schoolfillies. Do a couple rapes. You know, the usual.

>>43515674
>doesn't specify the time frame
time to predict Luna's return I guess

>How are bums treated in equestria?
Based on Trixie, not that well. Equestria has a fair amount of bullying in general and is pretty cliquish, so being a solo hobo instantly makes you an outsider. You really need to find a group.

That said, it's not like there are any real consequences to the bullying
>>43515792
>hates ponies
>posts on pony board anyway
What causes this behavior?

>>43515804
>ywn go to Equestria and get to be the schizo homeless prophet of Luna's return

>>43515674
roll around in the grass
eat the grass
go out to some spot in the vast unclaimed lands of Equestria and start a little farm (if earth pony)

>>43515811
>get too early
>right when Sonic Rainboom happens
>do your best to arrive @ Canterlot
>do the retarded Rasputin scene from Anastasia in Celestia's Court

Who the fuck stole my penis?

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>>43515821
the gnomes
>you don't need it

>>43515809
>find a group
I wonder if there are hobo jungles in equestria. Catching out on freights and bumming it

>what would you do
Call OP a fucking homo

>>43516036
sunfag is mad lmao

>>43515674
Take a shit in front of Rarity 4 You.

>>43516061
This and then pass out by the dumpster on horse dope

I would be my normal human self and I would crash at some random mares house where I plow her senseless with my superior human male stamina instead of paying rent as Celestia intended.

>>43515674
Maybe rape some school fillies. Idk

>>43515674
>>43515821
All anons must must be penisless to enter Equestria and this >>43516272 is why.

>>43516326
>featureless rape
unf

>>43516326
i don't need my penis to rape

>>43515674
Swindle some suckers, buy an imposing suit and a fake id, get hired as a cop.

>>43516328
>>43516336
>Anonstallion jumps on top of a random filly and starts furiously dry humping
>Even though he's got no dick, the rape scenario and thrusting motion alone are enough to get him off
>The filly is terrified by Anonstallion's hips slamming into her butt five times a second and his mindless grunting into her ear canal
>Anonstallion finally has a shuddering dry orgasm and spasms on top of the filly
>She bursts into tears while Anonstallion gets sleepy from the afterglow and sniffs the back of her mane
Seems like rape would still be a problem.

>>43515674
Follow the mane 6 so I get in every episode of the show.

>>43516851
>filthy freight hopping bum following around the mane 6
I don’t think they would appreciate that

>>43515674
I assume homeless ponies in Equestria just live on the land in nomadic bands/herds that roam across the continent. Not feral but living what would be seen as a more traditional and ancient lifestyle than the ponies who live in permanent settlements.

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>>43516272
THIS
H
I
S

>>43516326
cope seethe dilate, not everyone sliced off their equipment like you did

>>43516904
Hobos would traditionally travel and find a seasonal job, and when it went out of season they would travel to find another one and repeat. Tramps however would travel just to fulfill their wanderlust and avoid working at all

idk maybe i'd eat some grass and garbage, maybe harrass a couple schoolfillies walking home, maybe do a couple rapes for variety

Can I be a homeless sage urban fantasy stereotype guy? Reveal to aspiring heroes secrets that ponies of the world are not ready to comprehend, and all that. I'm a bit too lazy to have adventures of my own, but I still want to be relevant.

>>43516888
I mean they have seen odder things, no?

>>43515674
rob the nearest mare of her virginity while disguised as twilght sparkle

>>43517732
with what, changeling magic? I don't think any unicorn ponies know how to do it.

>>43518109
With makeup and party supplies? Not every miracle needs magic.

>>43518415
ah true that'd be good enough for some trolling and pranks

>>43518415
>party supplies
>Pinkie becomes a noir detective to find the scum tainting parties by wearing their skin and raping mares

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>first post isnt about Anonstalion prostituting himself in RGRE
for shame, I say!

>>43518738
I wanna be pimped out, desu

>>43518744
Same.

>>43518744
I want to be killed and dissolved in acid for trying to quit.

>>43518738
but I want to have a normal marriage with a cute mare, even if she is a bit rough in RGRE.

>>43519575
Who doesn't?

>>43515674
Well i'd get a job since I'd imagine Equestria would have well paying easy jobs and eventually get my own house and check out a cute mare and get married and have foals.

>>43520310
it ain't just that easy nonny

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>>43520582
There are several episodes establishing that yes, it is that easy
That's straight up what Zephyr Breeze's character was all about showing, even

>>43520593
Can't Zephyr Breeze easily leech of Fluttershy since she's the element of kindness? I'm for sure she earns a lot for simply welding a element that Zephyr can take a chunk off by taking advantage of her said kindness.

>>43520949
yes but the elements do it for free so fluttershy relies on her friends for income

>>43515674
rape mares

learn some magic so I can be a cool wizard hobo that scares the locals when they come by or if im bored

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>>43520949
You're missing the point. Fluttershy's parents are saved up enough to live on their investments and she herself seems to be providing for herself in some unknowable way before S1 ever happens.
He's a layabout bum that eventually has to be cut off from using them as a safety net constantly and as soon as he starts actually applying himself he finds a job. Zephyr and Trixie prove that no matter how lazy, retarded, and unlikable you are if you put your best hoof forward you can at the very least get by, if not genuinely thrive in Equestria. Things are just easy there.

>>43521948
wish it was that easy in earth

>>43522321
It is if you are skilled in art or programming, Anon.

>>43515674
rape fillies

>>43515674
Become a highway robber and start an outlaw gang

>>43515674
live in a cave to improve my hermit wizard powers and put up a spell to repel any efforts by Pinkie Pie to get me to socialize

>>43515674
As long as I'm a pegasus, I can live in a cloud and eat grass. It's the perfect off-grid life.

>>43520593
Zephyr Breeze is a rich faggot who doesnt know how to bum it, if he had any basic survival and manipulation skills he could have made it. That entire episode is just programming kids to learn they cant make it in life independently or without the government

>>43523457
Also the responses to you prove that brainwashing into 9-5 wagefaggotry by hasbro was successful but equestria is probably easy enough to be one but what a dull life just like irl

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>>43523467
>Also the responses to you prove that brainwashing into 9-5 wagefaggotry by hasbro was successful but equestria is probably easy enough to be one but what a dull life just like irl

>>43523467
Lucky for you Trixie is proof that your schizophrenic homeless ass can actually make it on your own and tap pony mao in the stinkhole in the wonderland of Equestria without even compromising your future career as a children's educator

>>43523521
isn't being a magician a job though

>>43523745
No, Trixie is still homeless.

>>43515674
Ambush and impregnate Trixie.

>>43523745
>isn't being a magician a job though
On earth, sure. In Equestria, it's hard to tell.

But that's besides the point because Trixie isn't performing for a fair period and gets by just fine

>>43523504
>hasnt shot heroin in a sewer before
fucking loser

>>43524757
Trixie is a male.

>>43524988
she's a mare, anon...

>>43525377
it's just his accent, anon

>>43524988
So?

>>43515674
swindle ponies for money so I can get myself a McMansion in Equestria

>>43525861
>McMansion
why not a normal ponyville house?

>>43515674
eat grass

>>43515674
Clean up and get a job.
Hobos are only there because they want to

>>43515674
>sitting on a park bench
>eyeing little mares with bad intent

Hey Aqua Lung

>>43515674
cum inside rainbow dash when she's asleep

Beg for bits and get rich from it.

>>43528218
>Gets begging cutie mark

>>43526910
Are the shitty cities in Equestria selling houses for one bit like in Detroit?

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>>43525430
>See a mare
>MAN MAN MAN MAN MAN MAN

>>43528219
>>Gets begging cutie mark
Could be worse, a lot worse.

>>43526910
Try being hooked on IV dope, having been unshowered for 3 weeks, eating out of dumpsters, and trying to get a job. Until you complete this I don’t want to hear its just because they wanna be there

>>43515674
break the kneecaps of twilight sparkle

>>43529271
Why would you do that to Twilight Sparkle? Wait if she's a alicorn then carry on but break her wings fully.

>>43528718
>Wah wah I was forced to become a drug addict!

>>43528718
>Try being hooked on IV dope, having been unshowered for 3 weeks, eating out of dumpsters, and trying to get a job. Until you complete this I don’t want to hear its just because they wanna be there
for what reason

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>>43529816

>>43515674
toll any pony crossing the bridge i sleep under

>>43515674
Raid local ponyville houses for bits to buy a nice hat.

>>43515674
Sleep.

>>43515826
Usecase for hobomaxxing?

>>43515674
>What would you do in this situation?
Get a job, it's really not complicated.

>>43515674
sleep secretly in random mare's houses for fun

>>43533441
Would you sleep at Twilight Sparkle's house or even the princesses with all of the risk?

>>43533981
I'd sleep in their walls.

>>43533981
YES!

>>43532428
NO!

>>43534954
;(

>>43532680
>NEET life continuation
>free train rides
>easy access to your favorite drugs
>no humiliation rituals from corporations
>chill schizo friends
>always traveling
>nothing to lose if you commit crimes

>>43535414
sounds great

>>43535414
>>nothing to lose if you commit crimes
Technically you have your life to lose, no?

>>43520949
This is monumentally stupid and telling response.
>Can't I easily leech of family sincethey have money? I'm for sure she earns a lot for simply having a job that I can take a chunk off by taking advantage of their said kindness.

>>43536501
but its reality

>>43521948
Zephyr had to get a job lol. He's seen working as a royal guard later on too. No NEETbux in Equestria.

>>43536758
>No NEETbux in Equestria.
Shucks...

>>43537179
dont worry princess celestia will start up the neet programme

>>43538003
When?

>>43515674
Introduce the crust punk lifestyle to equestria
be a homebum and blast rivethead
https://youtu.be/2zcAsqSDqmY?is=4P1ECyLSHV2DUCsC

>>43538557
SOON

>>43515674
build myself a nice small wood hut in a forest and i'll be set for life.

I'd probably be underneath a bridge crying and drinking, eating free food whenever possible. I think I'd try my best to avoid drugs, those will fuck you up and keep you wherever you are in life. Best case scenario, I crash with a random person for long enough to get a job, and then rent an apartment from there.

>>43515674
If i'm pegasi sleep in clouds. If i'm earth prostitute myself with mares. If i'm unicorn protitute myself with stallion

I suppose marry a mare to get myself somewhere comfy.

>>43515674
Slap mares buttcheeks for fun

watchthe mane 6 save equestia and prevent s3 finale

>>43515674
fuck pinkie pie's pussy.

>>43516913
sauce?

>>43516913
me on the left

>>43515674
Get myself a nice bed to sleep on under the bridge.

>>43515674
jerk off punks, 15 bits a stallion

>>43542716
A decent business model, if I do say so myself.

>>43542716
>15 bits/stallion
>Stallions ejaculate after roughly 20-25 seconds of thrusting
>Also require 20-30 second cooldown period before being capable of resuming normal activity
>Total job time of roughly 40-55 seconds
>Round up to 60 seconds (1 minute) for ease of calculation
>Assume 8 hour work day
>Assuming perfect conditions, 480 jobs possible within typical work day
>15*480=7200 bits per day
>Assuming 5 day work week, 36,000 bits per work week
>144,000 bits, monthly gross income
>Assuming 52 work weeks per annum, 1,728,000 bits gross income per annum
>A six-figure salary is plausible in Equestria solely from jacking stallions off
I think it probably drops to an even million if you factor in more realism, but still.

lick mare pussy for free

>>43543450
For FREE? Son, Mares would PAY you a lot.

>>43542876
You even get to save on food bills with all the semen you're harvesting and resell the excess

Eat the flower burger twilight had in S1

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>>43515804
would be so easy
get into her day court and mention vague future prophecies
she'd think you're crazy at first so you'd use knowledge no one but her would have to prove you're legitimate
she'd then probably try to get a meeting alone with you
in exchange for housing you in the castle you basically give her all the info she needs to get twilight set up and you work with her to solve all the non friendship lesson issues early like the changelings, storm king, tirek

hobo to advisor in no time, the only issue is getting to canterlot, you'd have to hobo it up
beg on the streets to get enough bits for a train ticket or some shit, or sneak on a freight train if those exist

I need to see this as a story now
surely someone has made a hobo prophet anon story

>>43515674
Find a library and make a spell to deny Twilight to become an alicorn.

>>43544720
thats rude to twiggy

>>43545288
I like my Twilight Sparkle with only a horn and no wings.

>>43545739
Based!

>>43515674
Hide Princess Celestia's cakes for LOLZ

>>43515674
I wanna be the dracula of Equestria so ponies send their version of the Belmonts to battle me.

>>43520949
>She sure earns a lot for simply wielding an element

First of all, earns a lot by what metric? When has Fluttershy ever displayed wealth of any kind that wasn't just favors from her friends?

Secondly, I'm not sure how ziggers don't seem to get this, but Fluttershy has a job. She takes care of animals. It's a civic service, ponies have to do this(this is mentioned and shown multiple times). In addition, she rehomes animals and mediates between ponies and animals.

What exactly do people think Rainbow Dash's job is? She's the leader of the Ponyville weather team. Because ponies have to manage nature(this is mentioned and shown many, many times). Do we ever see her get paid? No, but nobody ever seems to question her having bits, and we know she has an official job title. Who do you think pays her to manage the weather, exactly? Big Weather? Maybe the weather factories in Cloudsdale confused you with their industry, but Princesses and others can order the weather how they like within reason(they have to make up for it with weather systems later) and bringing up annual water to Cloudsdale is also a civic service and comes from shared reservoirs. Sorry to the libertarians out there, but this is a state run affair.

>>43547087
How rude of you, GUARDS!

>>43520949
>'m for sure she earns a lot for simply welding a element that Zephyr can take a chunk off by taking advantage of her said kindness.
lol no

>>43543450
Licking marepussies, yeah!

>>43515674
eat grass all day so i can understand how good it is

>>43549795
Grass is going to be overrated food, hay is where it's at.

>>43550407
what about oat burgers?

>>43550575
I'd say oat burgers will be average since its like eating a baked potato in our world. Sort of a delight you'd have every while or so.

>>43550581
>eating a baked potato in our world
huh?

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>>43551126
You never ate a baked potato before? Eating pizzas? How could you sit there and eat pizzas?!

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>>43551289
>Eating pizzas?
DID SOMEONE SAY PEETZER!?

>>43551867
i want pizza

>>43515674
Start up a business like Playcolt or Playfilly and rack in the bits.

>>43542716
collect the thick horsecum or swallow it for free hot food

>>43544475
>sneak on a freight train if those exist
i want to see kerouac prophet pony as a story badly now

>>43515674
invade zebrica for spices and sell them for $$$ in equestria

>>43551867
>DiGiorno
anons eat that sloppa? Grim.

>>43554490
its good

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>>43516378
Touch grass. Not horses.

>>43555000
>Touch grass. Not horses.
Where do you think we are, buddy?

>>43555424
The ciivilized internet

>>43556048
>post-2012 internet
>civilized
Ah-huh.

>>43556048
there will be no 'civilized' internet for as long as south all of south Asia has internet access

>>43556562
why dont anyone IP ban all of south asia then to make the internet usable again or at least a few websites

>>43557461
america

>>43515674
Be a robber and nick one item away from each pony to see how long it takes for them to find out.

>>43558527
twilight sparkle would find out super fast with her magic btw

>>43559421
What's she going to do? Blast that harmony beam or whatever? Lol. Lmao.

>>43558527
That's burgling, robbery implies direct confrontation.

>>43560106
Robbers can have hobbies too, you know. I can also be a professional assassin and bribe officials for leisure, or be a flasher and smuggle plutonium in my free time.

>>43558527
why do evil things in equestria

>>43560816
>why do evil things in equestria
Because I can, biaaaatch! Whatcha goin' to do about it?

>>43560816
because seeing ponies scared and suffering brings me joy.

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>>43561587
>because seeing ponies scared and suffering brings me joy.
thats not very nice you know

>>43515674
>Eat grass
>Drink water
>Stay clean
>Pretend to not be a hobo
>Go job hunting
>Become a wagie
>Try not to get killed by asshole ponies over some perceived slight

Writing a green based on this thread

>>43562745
where u gonna upload it?

>>43562841
Ponepaste. It will probably take forever for me to finish it, but I want it to be good

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>>43562745
i'm looking forward to the green :D

>>43563123
That's a lot of mares!

>>43563561
for (You)

>>43515674
Get a job with the Royal Guard and stand in like one spot for hours for easy bits so I can get myself a nice house.

>>43564924
but what if you had to go to combat or protect the princess' bedroom

Ask for help from anypony I can and inevitably be given a job by some rich mare with whom I end up in a lifelong relationship, platonic or romantic. Ponies are pretty generous and I have the skills to be successful in the workplace. Worst case I get turned into a sex slave and raped like in Justine by the Marquis de Sade. Really I can't lose.

>>43565433
If war then i'll mutiny, latfer i'd be excited especially if im assigned to Luna.

Aren't apples like 2 bits? I'm sure you could sneak and take some apples from Sweet Apple Acres and then sell them at Manehattan or whatever and get the finance to buy a house.

>>43562841
>>43563123
https://ponepaste.org/12184
My first green, I hope you anons like Derpy

>>43566843
Ooh I love your green! Thank you anon for making it! :D

>>43566937
thanks anon!

>>43566843
Always good to see more anons get into writing

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>>43566843
I enjoyed. Best mare is in it too.

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>>43568063
without rival

>>43568063
silly derpy trying to break my screen lol

>>43515674
Get myself a nice suit and find my waifu and marry her.

>>43555000
i vill touch ze horses

>>43515674
>smell mare musk and find the horniest mare to fug
simple as

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make fun of whoa nelly for being fat and raid her food compartment so she goes back to being slim.

>>43571078
Why so mean to her? Mare is mare.

>>43572676
fat fuck bitch

>>43562381
Imagine actually wanting to be a wagie. Just go and live in the woods.

>>43536758
NEETbux is not needed. There is plenty of unclaimed land you can just fuck off to if you don't want to live in society. Its not like here where supporting yourself is illegal.

>>43575622
>Just go and live in the woods.
Ted Kaczynski?

>>43578322
Now I wana read a green about a pony ted sending bombs to the mane 6

>>43579537
dont hurt fluttershy ;(

>>43515674
Hide and spook ponies so they drop bits.

>>43583713
Oh like a ghost, you doin some sort of nightmare night thing?

>>43585458
no im mugging ponies

>>43579537
Alicorn Twilight loses her wings in the explosion, worth it.

>>43590457
good ending

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>>43566843
>

>>43566843
KINO!!!

>>43515674
Beg for bits I guess.

>>43515674
>rape mares

>>43515674
Do I have to stay as a hobo?

>>43602657
no since it all depends on if you want to make yourself known or wizardmaxxing by being a hermit

>>43606246
>wizardmaxxing by being a hermit
>become more powerful than Celestia, Mane 6 and all the villains combined
Hell yeah!

>>43515674
I'd cry and then set up a charity so ponies can fund my addiction.

>>43609342
Do you even need funds to fuel addiction to ponies?

>>43515674
I mean there's probably honest work for a Pegasus or unicorn but if I'm an earth pony options are limited