>>43613239
But anon is a pony, how can you turn her into a pony?

>>43613227
I recently just read all the anonstallion greens, and now im going to start reading all the anonmare greens. Which one should I start with? And where is all the other greens?

>>43613315
>Where are the others
Well, apparently 11463 is actually just an epilogue page for https://ponepaste.org/11239 which I didn't know about. I've been copying the list of greens from before I was the one making the new thread, only found that out because I went and checked the pastes just now.
Other than that... Honestly I don't know, I'm just listing the ones I know of... most of which are mine, teehee. One of these days I'll read through the anonmare tags on ponepast and properly link shit.

Regarding my stuff, it's... a little bit of a mess? 11999 is the chronological first part (kind of, it's Anon's version of the Cutie Mark Chronicles which starts out with domestic shit and then turns into a backstory, I really need to separate that into its own thing and have Anon relay an abridged version.)
But https://ponepaste.org/11575 is the first one I started writing, it's a little all over the place being my first longer story, and the present day parts of the cutie mark chronicle also assume you've read it.

>>43613382 (Me)
>>43613315
>Where are the others
https://ponepaste.org/archive?q=anonmare
https://ponepaste.org/archive?q=anon%20mare
Not many, apparently, assuming there aren't any lurking in the untagged box. I tag mine with all three spellings of anonmare but apparently I'm the only one who uses 'anon-mare' at all, so I won't link it.

>>43613227
cute mare

>>43610305
https://ponepaste.org/12200

>An hour or so later, you're halfway back to the school, little red wagon piled with loaves, hay-bricks and cheese.
>And your single sack of cheapo coffee grounds, in case Pinkie doesn't want to run for coffee... which, not having to send her all the time was the ENTIRE point of you bringing your own food, so...
>You look back at it and frown. Applejack was right, as much sentimental value as you have on this little foal's toy, it's frankly embarrassing.
>To say nothing of how impractical it's getting, how the haphazard bolt-on bay expansions make you look like a crackhead hobo, how often the little wheels meant for a sandbox or beach get caught on the stones and odd roots of this forest.
>Ahem. Anyway- your sack of coffee.
>You DID mean to buy a coffee maker anyway, although powering it might be an issue...
>Percolator? Those work over a fire or stove. Something to keep in mind.
>The remainder of the trip to and fro has, so far, gone without incident.
>Well, one might count the paranoid, shaking miniature gator mussing up your newly-braided mane, but eh, can't blame the guy.
>You're more concerned as to how in the hell he's getting any map data for Pinkie, sequestered as he is, but that's her problem, not yours.
>Okay. Passing into town again. Schoolhouse ain't much farther-
>Shit. You were lost in your own head again and missed a turn... Oh well, just cut through the field here, you'll end up behind the schoolhouse.
>You hear ponies talking in the distance, far enough that it's less words and more murmur. Pinkie Pie. Applejack. And the sound of digging, of dragging, of shit being thrown into the back of an old wagon-
>
>It takes you a second to realize you're right at the schoolhouse, as the debris piles are mostly not where you left them.
>And- yep. Applejack and Pinkie are loading scrap into Applejack's wagon.
"Guys, what're you doing? The mayor said-"
>You're so focused on confronting those two that Mooriel's voice damn near knocks you over. "It's taken care of, kid. Tooooold ya."
"Wha-"
>She swats her tail at a very official-looking paper taped to the wall. "Just keep that paper, shooow it to the mayor if she asks. Shoouldn't be an issue, they'll tell her it's been taken care of when she gets there."
"But-"
>"Dooon't sweat it, remember, we're getting *you* freed up for other work outta this deal."
>You're still muttering in shock when Mooriel gets up with a few cracking joints, lumbering out east to her barn.
>And now it's just you, the wind, and those two mares kicking stuff around.
>
>A final crash amid Applejack straining, grunting things like 'give 'er' and 'oh come the hay on!'
>"THERE! That's the last of it! Shoo-wee, Anon, ya missed the hard work eh?" Applejack trots up and ribs you with a hoof. "Aw I'm just yankin' yer chain, ah know ya got the real job ahead. Gimme a holler when ya got the wall ready ta go, ah raised a few barns in mah day y'know. Welp-"
"How did she-"

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Anon mare as a ghost or something. Anni stream is great as always

>>43616942
>The only answer to your half-assed half-asked questions is the scraping of leather and the clatter of buckles and clasps from Applejack getting into her wagon harness.
>"Don't worry, ah heard what ya said, ah'll make sure they know the scrap money goes to the town's account."
>And with a tip of her hat, Applejack is off to dump your junk on somepony else.
>
>
>A minute or two passes, as you stare into space, still dumbfounded at how that shifty old heifer got the power company off their asses that fast.
>You wouldn't have expected the INSPECTION to go that fast, and that's not including getting them to come look at it!
>
>
>Pinkie Pie carefully walks up to you, putting her head close enough for Gummy to perform a Gator Transfer Maneuver back to her mane-
>He scrabbles, he leaps, he lands with a pomf sound not unlike falling into a cart of loose hay.
>"Um, Anon?" Pinkie backs up to a respectful distance, then dares to poke you in the shoulder. "You alright?"
>Deep breath. Turn your head, look her in the eye.
>"I don't know much about that cow lady- she just dragged some pony in coveralls over here and they wrote some stuff down."
"That's it? Really?"
>"That's all *I* know, at least. All I saw."
Another deep breath. "Okay then. Guess that's what happened. Shouldn't complain."
>"Um-" Pinkie's voice wavers. Even SHE knows to be careful right now- "So... Your limit for Combo-level weird stuff... isn't it usually higher than a silly old cow being fast? What's really wrong, right now?"
"Well... You might not like it." You try your best not to sound or look pissed off. You fail.
>Pinkie takes it in stride. "I REALLY don't like seeing ponies sad or on edge."
"Okay then." Deep breath, close your eyes. When you open them, it's with full eye contact. You lean in very close, so you can whisper: "Did you know your gator can TALK. TO. THE. SUN?"
>"Oh.. Yeah. I think that's actually because of me..."
"Wh- you- how-" Facehoof. "The fucking sun stone, that wasn't a joke!?"
>"Nnnnnope!" Pinkie rocks back and forth just slightly too fast to not be unsettling.
>Pinkie's borderline manic movements, the words 'sun stone,' Gummy continuing to have a quiet freakout, it all digs even deeper into your sprawling catacomb of a mind.
>G4? Nah bitch, this is G1 lore! You forgot all about that fever dream even BEFORE ya died!
>But, like so much inconvenient pony lore, it comes scrambling back to the front as soon as you have a plausible reminder of it-
"The- the- the THING! The thing ancient ponies used to control the sunrise, before the princesses, before the friggin THREE TRIBES even- and you HAD it LYING AROUND and ATE A PIECE OF IT!?"
>"Hey, if I'd known what it was I wouldn't have taken a bite out of it! Though, actually, I miiight be lying to myself, cuz I already knew it was the choosing stone... But it looked so tasty and nutritious! And it WAS!"
>Sit your ass down.
>Try not to throw a fit. Just, work through this information.

>>43617078
"Lemme just... put all this in a timeline. Lotta WEIRD shit's been happening around me lately, and I think this was the last straw-"
>The throbbing vein in your forehead suggests that creepy image of Luna was the last straw and you're running on overtime.
>Is this how Twilight feels when no friendship problem? Or- will feel- will have felt- You're doing it again! You were doing so well!
"if I don't figure ONE of these dumb puzzles out, I'm gonna have conniptions."
>"Oh...kay... yeah, that'd be really bad."
"It would. So, ancient times, a cabal of ponies uses this stone to tell the sun what to do. Right?"
>"I think so?"
"Wh- how-"
>"Nonny, I ate part of it and started having visions. They're hard to put into words, but I think it sounds right?"
"Oh, come the FUCK on-"
>"Hey! I'm not bugging you for how YOU know this stuff when I bet some crusty old wizard who reads old books for his job wouldn't, now AM I?"
>Like usual, Pinkie yammers that out in one breath, but UNusually, she's actually out of breath. Panting. A little mad, it seems.
>You did kinda agree to not do this exact shit, y'know...
"You're right. I got carried away, I'm sorry. Now- At some point, the thing breaks or gets broken or whatever, and that leads to the unicorn tribe. My ancestors get all uppity, not without good reason since that kind of raw power burns your horn out, for good. Pegasi want to fight shit, unicorns want even better treatment than they're already getting, earth ponies fuckin' tired of being kicked around, blah blah First Hearthswarming..."
>"Mmmm, yep."
"RIGHT. So... this thing gets carted AWAY from the abandoned wherever-the-fuck-we-came-from, for WHATEVER stupid-ass reason, because IT DON'T WORK NO MORE-"
>"Fancy ponies just like having old stuff, right? Relics? Hehehe, re-lick, the relic got licked! By me!"
>You stop the outburst you can already feel brewing. Pinch your nose, breathe in, count to four.
"Yeah, ok, sure. And then through all the centuries this thing somehow ends up in your town, except NOW it's doing matchmaking shit, and you eat a piece of it."
>"Yeah! That.. sounds about right." Pinkie nods enthusiastically; you can see little green claws digging into her flesh, trying not to be flung into space.
>Having some vague idea does calm your nerves.
>You can sit down. The cold snow on your ass shocks you into a better semblance of sense. The ache in your joints suggest you were pacing around, frantically, without even realizing it.
"How the fuck does a broken.. sun.. controller.. thing... turn into finding your soulmate?"
>"Hey, I've only got weird vibes. I might *know* more than you sometimes, but I think you *understand* more than me OR Gummy... if that makes sense?"
"I- fuck, Pinkie, I don't know, maybe? I mean I can't make sense of like, three quarters of my spellbook, and it's a spellbook intended for slow-witted foals to learn basic survival spells! I don't know jack OR shit about ancient mythical... sun... love.. magic.. GAAAAAAH!"

>>43616992
Thanks to denial, Anonmare will never die and she'll just drink beer with Luna forever! Seriously though that's a nice ethereal mare you got there, idk if intentional but all the spectral crosses make me think of End of Evangelion.

>>43617189
>Pant
>Pant
>A pink hoof carefully pats the spot on your back that wasn't assaulted by a crowbar and a frozen rabbit ass. "Feel any better?"
>Fuck, yeah, maybe?
>God. A good cry and it's all better, braided hair, gossiping with the neighbors (even if it's about weird magical shit)...
>You really *are* a chick now.
>
>
>No? No relapse of gender bullshit doom spiraling? Well, good. Keep that shit at the usual "fuck my life" complaints level, you don't need to be acting 12 again-
>Or, 30. 40. DAMMIT are you going to be forgetting your age until age kills you or something!? You're like 50 and barely an adult! Not 18!
>Pinkie is still waiting for an answer...
"I hope so. Come on, we got shit to do, losing our minds over ancient crap ain't gonna fix the schoolhouse."
>"Or get Cheerilee a job."
"Or get me drunk."
>
>Baby blue eyes press into you, you can feel the stare without moving a muscle-
"What? I was gonna buy a home distillery.. thingy with some money I saved up. Brew some bathtub wine, or buy some cheapo, turn it into a nice brandy."
>"Oh, neat, save some for meeee! But uh- nah, I was just gonna say, going mad from the revelation is actually SUPER GOOD for a pony's alcoholism game!"
"..Oh yeah, guess you're right. Still, I'm not looking to play at a professional level so maybe we should, uh, lay off the brain steroids for a while..."
>Uttering that out loud causes you to stare into the eastern woodline, blinking, for a moment. It finally ends when you shake it off-
"Aight, either start making lunch or grab one of those long square beams, let's start making the frame."

Morn

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>8

>>43618450
Family Gal

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>>43613227

>>43619273
Birthday mare!

>>43617246

>A lot of the wood is pre-cut, so it only takes the rest of the workday to put that wall frame together.
>First the edges are laid out, nailed together. Then the interior skeleton-
>By dinnertime it's ready to be raised up and attached to the rest of the structure- Pinkie runs to get Applejack while you tie up the pulley system for it.
>Another 2 hours, and you, Big Mac, Applejack and a couple apple cousins you've never met are observing your handiwork.
>You're not done, far from it, especially if you count repairing that row of busted desks inside. But the biggest single job is now done- the wall has just as many holes in it as it did when you first started tearing down debris, but now the holes are gaps between the building's ribs, waiting to have insulation and wood placed over them.
"Phew, thanks again guys, honestly I hadn't thought about how we were gonna get that done..." You plop down on your ass and wipe steaming sweat off your face.
>"Don' mention it, Sugarcube, way ah see it this was jus' me lookin' out for lil Apple Bloom." Applejack takes a swig from a canteen, one of those big ones with a cloth wrapping, sits down and puts her hat over her chest. "Ma n Pa did NOT break their backs all their lives jus' for their youngest foal to not get an education."
>>"EeYEP."
>The Apples start heading home right when Pinkie starts cooking. Doesn't take long before there's a pot of cheddar grits bubbling on the fire.
>Not long after THAT, the sun drops, giving your meal a nice spooky orange glow.
"Hey, so-" You say between mouthfuls of grits. "The other day, you came up to say the cellar was fine."
>"Uh huh... did I miss something?" Pinkie blinks innocently.
"I don't think so? You looked.. nervous. I meant to ask you what was up, but then Gummy did the thing and.. yeah."
>"Hnnng-"
"Come on, out with it- what were you so afraid of telling me?"
>"Are you sure? You've had such a short fuse today, I don't wanna-"
"Well now I HAVE to know!"
>Sigh. "Alright, fine, what had me so nervous was uh... Well, ask yourself- how hard is it to blast a wall out from the inside and barely scratch the foundation or anything behind the bomb?"
>That...
>Is two things.
>A good question, and a rhetorical question, but still, let's try-
>You'd probably need a shaped charge, right?
>Yeah. And ignoring how the fuck you'd get one here, or whether it'd be demolitions or magic that does it, that-
>The pieces fall into place.
"Oh shit you're saying it was an expert?"
>"Well DUH, but more importantly- uh... sounds like an expert with government connections."
"Army? Royal Guard?"
>"MmmmCOULD be, but probably no. More like the kind of soldier that doesn't officially exist."
"Well SHIT, now what!?"
>"Hey hey hey, calm down, this is why I didn't wanna say anything! Besides, we're fine, even if they ARE watching us (which I'm not saying they are), they're not gonna do anything, especially if we're not blabbing about it. I mean, come on!"

>>43621217
>Her voice is incredulous, but neither of you can help but scan the cold horizon for errant shadows.
>Pinkie laughs to herself after a moment, returning her focus to her grits.
>But...
>Wait.
>Murmurs. Much too far for you to make out clearly, but someone is definitely speaking at a volume they think you can't hear at all...
>Behind Pinkie, across the road, in a snowbank out past that fence! You could've sworn you saw a pair of eyes glaring at you.
>.....
>You definitely did, but for possibly the first time in your life? You're not going to poke the bear-

>Be Special Agent Sweetie Bon
>No, Special Bongent Bonnie Sweet
>Sweetle Bongent Argle Boner!
>Oh to hell with this crap!
>You're Bon Bon. You were born Sweetie Drops but took a new name when you got your cutie mark (three wrapped bon bons, DUH?) and you've already bucked your secret identity beyond all repair so just...
>UGH
>This snow is cold! And getting... INSIDE places.
>You TOLD them that explosives were too much! All you had to do was unplug the bitch's humidifiers and wait for her to shrivel up!
>But NOOOOOO, they wanted to go all OPERATOR about it and NOW? Guess who gets to watch the civvies who noticed the scorch pattern was shaped like a ding dong dead bitch!? YOU!
>Sigh
>"Cadet," your sergeant, a sienna unicorn mare with a slight Whinnydian accent whispers, into your ear. "Mind yourself."
"Sarg-" The green mare's ears flick. Can she hear you? From THAT distance, at that-
>"You're paranoid, cadet. Not the worst trait for an agent, but don't let it send you jumping at shadows."
"But she-"
>The green one keeps glancing in your general direction, but that last time, no, she made EYE CONTACT you just-
>"She is glancing in our general direction, Drops. Because she's sitting at a campfire facing us. You're paranoid, even by agency standards."
>
>"Alright, l-"
"That pink mare is moving! She's going to the woods! She-"
>"She is probably taking a piss, Drops. Even if she were not-"
"She was the prime POI in-"
>"If she is not listed on our docket as a known threat, and/or is not brandishing a weapon at us presently, she is to be kept safe. Not harmed, nor treated as a traitor. Is that clear, cadet?"
Sigh. "As crystal, Sergeant Coriander."
>"Good. Now- I suppose you've fulfilled the minimum for a stakeout. Clearly, it is not the best use of your time or skills, so.. Tomorrow, report to safehouse Bravo for further field training."
"Bravo... that.. that's the cafe?" You make no attempt to suppress your cheerfulness.
>"Indeed, we shall run you through information gathering... and put the first semester of that *very expensive* culinary apprenticeship to work."

Pre bed oh god my sleep schedule just gets worse

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>>43621986
the S.M.I.L.E.S. ziggers, they glow in the dark, you can see them when you´re camping, just glare them over.

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bumping for more words about green faggots

>>43624516
Thanks I woke up feeling like shit, mighta missed the bump window

>>43615656
this anonmare is HUGE

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i really like the ones where they draw her all sexy... especially like her in the Mare Fair animations like here >>43620205

>>43621986

>Be Anonmare
>You woke up early today, feeling good.
>Got so much done yesterday, you decided to eat like a fancy city pony. I.E., an actual meal at a restaurant.
>Well...
>Ok. It was half a treat for yourself and half the two of you dipshits forgot to secure your food cart.
>The hay is still there, along with that block of super hard cheese, but the cornmeal and softer cheese?
>Gone. You woke up to the sight of a very fat raccoon passed out in cornmeal like he was Tony Montana at the end of Scarface.
>Little bastard. Can't even give him what for, since Fluttershy'll surely find out.
>But, by that same merit, he seems scared of Fluttereprisal, and agrees to watch your wood cart. Even lets Pinkie Pie cover him in blue spots (naturally she just happens to have blue body paint.)

>>43623017
Sleepy amre

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Didn’t want to draw no more grass

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>>43627297
>And so it was, that Panko Panera and the Green Bean Menace sauntered up to Sugarcube Corner-
>"Pf, CLOSED!?" Pinkie waves both her forelegs at the 'sorry we're closed sign' like she don't not care. "Whaddaya mean closed!? It's Thursday!"
>Your ears twitch at the sound of muffled thumping. Upstairs.
Sigh. "We both know why, Pinkie. Let's just go somewhere else. I've got money, don't worry."
>
>Hayburger Hamlet? Nope!
>As soon as you cross the threshold of greasy goodness, a squeaky greasy mare tells you "sorry, breakfast machine's broke. We're closed until lunch."
"What!?"
>>Pinkie baps your braid as she reiterates: "She SAID, the breakfast machine's broke."
"I don't-"
>"Lady, you got any idea how hard it is for a bunch of earth ponies to crank out as much food as we do?" The cashier's voice takes on a hard edge as she rears up onto the counter and sneers at you. "Lemme tell ya, working in FAST food is a job for an educated machinist! It takes 3 pulley systems and a treadmill just to keep up with demand for hashbrowns! Don't get me started on HAYshbrowns!"
"ALRIGHT I'M GOING! SHEE-OOF!"
>You turned as you were yelling, intending to be out the door but instead of hitting glass you appear to have run into a big, burly line cook chewing on a bigger, burlier cigarette. "No leave. Apologize first."
"For what!? I came in here, got told the machine was broke, TRIED to ask what a breakfast machine even is, and here we are!"
>"No apology, no le-" His eyes go wide. Probably something to do with the pocket knife glinting in your magic glow. "I would like to apologize, ma'am."
>You look him right in the eye while you open your other saddlebag, pull out a slice of that hard cheese, and carve off a bite.
"Piece of cheese? Hardworkin' guy like you, up at this time of day-" You speak through your teeth, breaking into a manic smile. "And you can't even use your employee discount cuz the hashbrown treadmill's broke. No?"
>He shakes his head, smiling awkwardly as he shuffles out of your path.
"Eh, suit yourself. How 'bout you, register lady? Want some cheese?" You casually twirl the knife in a way that could be read as threatening by a litigator, if not for the cheese.
>She hesitates to answer, so you just fly the knife over there with a hunk of cheese stuck on the end, prying it off onto a clean-looking napkin on the counter.
"There, see, we're all friends here." Still hissing through your teeth, "I really had no intention of causing trouble here, you see- but I get it."
>You sheath and pocket the knife and cheese (a paper wrapper is KINDA like a cheese sheathe) with a shrug.
"Really, I get it. I've put myself in the *hospital* more than once, jumping to conclusions like that." Your voice is far, FAR too serene to be coming from some Donny Osmond-ass smile. "Y'all have a nice day now, and I'm truly sorry for this misunderstanding."
>
>
>A little later, outside, Pinkie is sweating like a pig. "Um- okay, are we gonna get arrested?"
"Nah."

>>43629445
>Sunion
That's an S-tier pun and a nice grassy mare to boot
>>43629475
>"Ummm, are you sure? I already technically have a criminal record y'know! That sister prank law isn't a get outta jail FREE card, ya know! I still got punished for stealing a mascot and Pinkie Pie ain't goin' back in the stocks!"
>You pull ahead of Pinkie, stop, and hold her chin firm with one hoof.
"Line cooks and cops don't mix, Pinkie. Trust me. Too many drugs and weapons involved to risk their operation."
>"Hmmmm...." Pinkie mulls it over for a bit. "I guess you're right! Well, there's still the cafe we could try!"
"Yeah, I've been meaning to try that place."

>10 minutes later, you and Ponk are seated at that outdoor cafe. The one with the snooty, vaguely foreign butler-looking waiter, wincing at the menu.
>Well, it's ritzy, but not too bad.
>You place your order for a couple of daisy sandwiches and wait.
>Nothing much to talk about.
>It's not a boring visit- far from it, there's just nothing you can talk about.
>Why? Well- that's Bon Bon over there.
>"Hey that mare working here is really interesting for reasons I can't share and that might not even be true in the end."
>No thanks. You've REALLY had enough of that kind of shit for a while. Like, come on, at least wait until Twiggy gets here if you're gonna have more isekai cringe episodes!
>Suddenly, Pinkie glances up from her coloring book and stares blankly in shock.
>Before you can even ask what's up, the sound of heavy hoofsteps and thick cloth and leather scraping suggest-
>"Anonymous? I'm Officer Bar Braided."
>Shit.
>Pinkie sinks into her seat, pouring sweat like someone shot a water bottle with birdshot.
>"Uh, you got any of that cheese you were giving out at the Hamlet? Prices here are a little nutty." Officer Braided shuffles around a bit nervously, obviously unsure if she's even allowed to bum a snack off a civilian.
>Okay.
>Deep breath. Ignore your heart pounding. Ignore the question of why the cop knows about the cheese and doesn't care about you waving a knife around.
>Float that wedge of cheese over.
"Go nuts."
>"Thanks! Hey, what's her problem?" the uniformed mare points at Pinkie. The inflection in her voice, the narrowing eyes, suggest she is, indeed, very suspicious of Pinkie's nerves.
"Who, Pinkie? Eh, she's got a record for some dumb shit she did in college, that's all."
>"Heh. Alright thenwaitaminute- you're telling me a mare that young's already been through college?"
"Well, no, I never said she was ATTENDING the college. She was pranking her sister, who DID attend that college."
>
>
>A good 20 seconds go by while the cop munches on your wedge of half-frozen cheddar and Pinkie attempts to become a puddle in her chair.
>"Eh, hope it was funny at least. Thanks for the cheese and stay outta trouble!"
>Phew
>The cop wanders off, leaving a pony vacuum to be filled with that snooty waiter and a tray of plates on his back.
"Alright Pinkie, see? We're fine. And here's our food!"

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boomp

>>43630652
The family fun has nearly doubled since last time

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>missclicked one tab over and accidentally bumped /RGRE/
fuck

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>>43629590
>To your surprise and elation, the food is good AND big enough to justify the cheeky prices
>Okay. Maybe your morning won't be complete shit after all! Just...
>Just ignore how much lighter your purse is. You can eat the loss for one day.
>What's harder to ignore is how often Bon Bon eyeballs you. You couldn't really make out the color of those eyes in the snow last night, but you're almost positive it was her.
>Whatever, just stay cool for the love of God. If there's one single thing you could never weasel out of knowing, it's her being a glowie!
>You notice Pinkie keeps twitching between bites. She knows something's odd, even if she can't quite place what.
>Squint
>AAAAAAND Gummy's not on her head. Great.
>Can't worry about that now. He'll come back. Or not.
>A creamy purple-blurple blur approaches on the edge of your periphery. "Hey, everything alright?" Bon Bon asks.
>Hm. Perfectly normal thing for a cafe worker to ask, but it's all so emphasized. Just slightly too stressed to be her normal job-
>No! Shut up, you're being paranoid! Even if you're probably right-
"Yeah, I'm fine. Pink-" Glancing back at your companion, her mouth is stuffed, her eyes slightly rabid with sandwich-lust. "Well I think she's doing ok."
>
>
>Bon Bon does not walk away.
"Uh, yeah?"
>"Oh, just... uh..."
>Bon Bon isn't staring at you, it seems. She's staring at the seafoam green unicorn approaching you with extreme intent-
>"HEYYYYYYYYY, uh, cake lady!" Lyra briefly glances at Pinkie before turning her hackle-raising focus on you. "Hey, wood... tree... wolf... lady."
>Technically correct, in a way, so whatever.
"Yeah, guess that's me. So, um, who're you?"
>>Pinkie Pie's voice fights through layers of sandwich. "Yeah! I don't remember seeing you around!"
>"Uh- oh, right, Lyra! Technically Minty Heartstrings but, well-" She nods at the lyre on her ass cheek. "And, uh, I'm from Canterlot? Which is.. why you haven't... yeah."
"Ok." You shrug. "Nice to meet you, Minty."
>Pinkie waves, too busy annihilating a sandwich to speak.
>Lyra does not, in fact, leave. But at least Bon Bon is too busy drooling at her to scrutinize you.
>
>
>Yeah no this is kinda weird-
"There a reason you're hovering around my table?"
>"OH- yeah, uh, so- first of all, Lyra, right I said that- um, I'm, uh-"
>>Bon Bon chimes in, "She's a mythology and theology student working for the royal theatre company."
>"Yeah, that! Specifically I've been studying the evolution of modern folk beliefs, especially in regards to popular music-"
>>"And Ponyville's a melting pot for rural folk, and it's right on the edge of the Everfree....."
"Yeah that sounds right. Well, I don't know much, might wanna ask Granny Smith at Sweet Apple Acres. Tell her I sent you and she'll.. probably.. be more patient about it."

>>43630652
cute anonpony family

>>43632380
>While you were saying that, Bon Bon walked over to check on other tables. She can't hide the fact that her ears are constantly swiveled at you, though.
>Meanwhile, Lyra scratches the back of her head awkwardly. "Uh, yeah, about that... See, I went to her first, since she's the last living founder of Ponyville. Figured she'd be a fountain of weird local legends, ha ha."
"Okay... and how does this relate to me, exactly?" You eyeball her accusatorily while Pinkie snarfs her third sandwich.
>"Um.. Well, you live on the forest edge, you're supposed to be really good at magic-"
"Nope. Don't know where ponies are getting THAT. Just tell me what you're getting at, already! I got work to do today!"
>"Okayokay, I wanted to interview her on earth pony ritual magic and how it affected country music! We got to talking and she sent me to the orphanage, because it's technically older than Ponyville- and-"
"And half the nuns and adult residents told you I was some kind of freaky werewolf pony who can smell your soul or spot a threat in the bushes from a mile away, in pitch black."
>"Hehehehehe I wouldn't put it QUITE like that, but.... yeah, kind of?"
"Well, they're not entirely wrong. I am good at spotting things and I don't scare easily, but what's that got to do with, fuckin', bard training?"
>"Oh, that's easy, I just really need a guide. For an expedition!" Lyra's voice and mannerisms are getting high but wavering, like she's on the verge of a manic episode.
>Even Pinkie Pie is starting to get unnerved now, eyeing Lyra suspiciously over her mountain of fries.
"An expedition."
>"Yeah, see, a ton of old ballads reference the Everfree, and it's generally believed that there's some truth to most of them. The Well of Bodies, Betrayer's Bastion, The Fever Forest, Apis Panacea- one song even suggests the DOOR TO TARTARUS could be in those woods! And-"
"No."
>You can practically hear the record skip as Lyra quits rearing up and waving like a madmare. "What?"
"No. What did you not understand?"
>"But I-"
"LYRA. I'm a carpenter, who by the way has some time-sensitive contracts right now. I'm NOT a mercenary, I have no intentions of ever being one. I guarantee you have nothing I want so badly as to justify probably getting killed, trying to protect you in a place I DON'T EVEN KNOW HOW TO SURVIVE IN."
>Well-
>You know right after finishing that you were too harsh.
>If not by your nagging conscience, then the mare tearing up in front of you.
>"I just wanted some advice is all..."
>FUCK-
>You glance at Pinkie. She awkwardly shrugs.
"Fine, alright, I can't guarantee ANYTHING but what did you need to know? Always a chance I'll remember some shit my, uh, parents said, or that I've-"
>"What don't I need to know? Where should I collect firewood, how do I make myself nonthreatening to timber wolves, where-"
"Okay, no."

>>43631861
Being anonmare in RGRE is probably the worst outcome outside of memebad options like the comics universe or 'gritty' AUs

>>43634623
>"What!? You JUST said-"
"Lyra. Look at me, eyes please." Neither one of you can believe you're reduced to scolding her like a schoolmarm, judging from how slow she is to comply. "Thank you. Now, I need to stress that I'm saying this with zero malice or annoyance: If you need to be taught this much, you have no business going to a place like the Everfree. It kills experienced explorers, and you... Sorry, but you've clearly never even camped in your friggin' backyard, let alone anything approaching nature."
>"Then what do I do!? I already took this month off from studies!"
Sigh. "You go home, take a self defense course, study MILITARY HISTORY and EXPLORERS- especially the parts where they all die because they did something wrong, let their mistakes be your teaching moment. Save up money, invest in GOOD equipment, don't pinch bits on any piece of metal or wood that's supposed to stand between you and death. And, if you can, you save up the money to hire a pony who actually fights and shits in the woods for a living, instead of hoping a weirdo living on the edge of town can somehow do better for free in about 5 minutes of talking."
>Lyra huffs, scrunches, crosses her hooves. "Ugh! You sound just like my old classmate! Books, books, books!"
>Funny Lyra mentions that because you were almost imagining what advice Twilight would give...
>>"Eh, I meaaan, only two, MAYBE three of those things were books-" Pinkie finally chimes in, full of sandwich and empty of plate. "The rest was, like, common sense?"
>Lyra continues to sulk, but at least she seems to be considering your words while Bon Bon comes by with drink refills.
>>"Look, Lyra, she's right- yeah, sorry, I was eavesdropping- Lyra's, well, I kind of like seeing her ok?"
>"Oh what would you know? You're as much of a city mare as me! Did you really think I couldn't hear that Manehattan accent?"|
>>"Yeah. South side. Practically a war zone sometimes, they don't call 'em mean streets for nothing...." Bon Bon speaks jovially, like she's trying to banter, but withers under Lyra's dejected glare. "Look, Lyra, you know she's right."
>Lyra seems to ignore that and looks to you again- "Come on, isn't there ANYTHING you can tell me?"
>Oh for- you just did!
>But those pleading eyes! And it's LYRA! Besides Derpy, she's the totem spirit of horsefuckers everywhere! Our mare!
>And there ARE a few bits of probably-sound foreknowledge you can pass off as folksy wisdom, right?
>No- Fuck, you're doing it again!
>But she looks the type to go off half-cocked whether you try to help or not. Might as well, right?
"Alright, look, just a few things that come to mind- and I am NOT qualified in any way to certify this advice, got that? This is on the same level as hearsay and third-order war stories. DO NOT STAKE YOUR LIFE ON THIS, I WILL NOT BE RESPONSIBLE."
>"YEAH? YEAH?"
"Don't sniff the flowers, especially if they're bell-shaped and droopy. Steer clear of any bright blue-spotted blooms-"

>>43634641
>Bon Bon's ears are intently tuned to you right now- and out of the corner of your eye, you see ponies in the kitchen frantically writing things down.
"Don't fuck with timber wolves, even if you know what you're doing, just don't. I don't have any clue why that specific wolf likes me, but it's the only one I've ever run into. I can't even promise it would be nice to YOU if I'm not with you."
>Lyra's face gets more despondent.
"DON'T carry catnip, it drives manticores CRAZY, and actually? THAT one I can certify- it almost killed one of my friends."
>"What!?"
"Yep. Had to shoot at it to scare it off, it had a whole group of nuns cornered. Probably what they were thinking about when they gassed me up to you."
>"She didn't say anything specific..."
"Yeah, nobody wanted to talk about it, they almost died! It fucks you in the head for a while, ya know! Anyway- If you hear a chicken clucking, look to the sky, or shut your eyes. Whatever you do, don't look at it-"
>"Yeah? Why?"
"Cuz it's probably a cockatrice."
>Lyra stares at you, open-mouthed.
>
"...Petrifying gaze attack? Turn you to stone if you make eye contact?"
>
>
>"...Maybe I SHOULD buy a crossbow... Uh... well, thanks.. I guess..."
>Dejected, Lyra slinks away to... wherever.
>If you discouraged her from throwing her life away, you did the right thing.
>Still fucking hurts, dammit, no matter how much you tell yourself that.
>Sigh
"So.... Where's a rough n ready Manehattan street mare meet a girl like that?"
>Bon Bon blinks at you, slightly confused.
"Y'know, you seemed to know her? At least enough to finish her sentence when she was yammering at me."
>"OHHHHH, right, we were roommates for a while. Little apartment in Canterlot, culinary school for me, you already know what she was doing... Honestly surprised to see her slumming it here."
"Uh huh. WELP, hope you got something useful outta eavesdropping on me." You stretch and put on your bags.
>"WHAT!? Uh, uh, uh-" Oh shit, Bon Bon is panicking, that might've been a rib too far.
>>"Well, why WERE you eavesdropping on us, silly? Not that I mind, I mean, don't talk about secret stuff in public, right?" Pinkie Pie blinks innocently even as her eyes begin drilling for Bon Bon's soul. "You LIIIIIIIIIIIIKE Lyra don't you?? Don't worry, Nonny will do her best to encourage your future wife NOT to get eaten by wildlife!"
"Pf, yeah, I guess.."
>"Uh, b-buh- ahahaha yeah, she's kinda cute I guess!" Bon Bon gulps audibly, a bit of sweat steaming into the morning cold. "O-kay, you guys paid your bill in advance, so you're all squared up. Thank you and come again! Hahahaha-"
>
>
Once you round the corner, away from the cafe, you whisper to Pinkie- "Thanks for the assist. Was kinda worried I broke her."
>"Huh? What assist? She's madly in love with that Lyra mare, can't you tell?"
"Oh, I had an inkling, but some things I guess you're better at seeing than me. Now, we got shit to do today so let's go!"

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There may be another version I will post when I wake up. Thank you you bump nigger for writing green

>>43635730
What intriguing censor bar placement, I wonder what on earth it could be hiding

8

>>43635730
The drawchad is evolving...

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>>43628184
Nominations tomorrow, get your favorite images of anonmare ready. Ideally ones that distinguish her from anonfilly. My personal choice will probably be picrel unless there's a more preferred option. I'm also open to sending princess anonmare in again. Technically could send both regular and princess, but note since anonmare counts as an 'alternate' of anonfilly, every nomination will have to pass a vote to get in. If someone else gets to it before me I'll just support their nomination. This year there'll be a losers bracket (for real) so she'll have two chances if she makes it in.

>>43637767
Why can't anonstallionfags be well adjusted like you guys are? They're always barging into threads and shitting up the place.

>>43638286
uuuuuh, they like stallions? they´re faggots?

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>>43638286
I mean if you think about it, anonstallion's waifus are in other threads, so it's natural for them to migrate from Anonstallion General to engage in ritual mating behaviors across the board. Meanwhile we're just kind of chilling here.

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>>43638350
Husbands whether they like it or not

>>43635730
https://derpibooru.org/images/3916133

>>43638403
they're extremely obnoxious and thin-skinned. one is spamming in our rainbow thread right now.

>>43638534
UNF! Fine work anon, looks pretty decent!

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>>43638552
I've checked both threads, take a look at the time stamps.
>>43638178
>>43638362
It's quite silly really, to be desu. You should be friends, brothers in mares. If you look past your differences, you both love Dashie and this cheeky cross thread baiting is a funny nothing burger. In any case your visit gave me a little kek, so thanks for stopping by.

>>43634641
Sure she'd have to work and bring home the bread, but she'd get to have a stallion cook and clean for her... assuming she could get one. Also assuming she didn't want a nice soft mare to do those things instead. I feel like reverse-RGRE would be worse, less freedom to do what she wants, right? I haven't really read RGRE stories, I'm curious about your reasoning anon.

>>43638552
>they're extremely obnoxious and thin-skinned. one is spamming in our rainbow thread right now.
Bro, it was literally only two posts. You can't go around calling other people thin-skinned when just two posts are enough to send you running into other threads to cry about Anonstallion. Besides, Rainbow Dash is incredibly popular over there, so you really shouldn't be surprised that people are posting Anonstallion x Rainbow Dash art.
>>43638461
B-but I don't wanna marry a Anonmare

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>>43634964

>The morning and afternoon pass by
>The raccoon kept his word, he's still on the wood bin.
>Half passed-out, but still, he did stay with the cart. For all you know, he's so fat that a thief couldn't pry him off if they tried, so whatever.
>Lotta progress- with some TK, your abnormally high hoof-grip and some pulleys, you don't need a scaffold to work on the top of the wall.
>A pulley to hoist you up, and another pulley to pull boards up to your position. That's all it takes!
>It does feel a bit mortifying, being hoisted up by Panko like you're being helicopter rescued, but whatever works right?
>The evening sun is dimming. You'd taken your cloak off hours ago, but you're now debating whether it's better to be cold or have to wash that thing from all this sweat.
>Not much else to do right now, since this section is done and you're being pulled a head or two higher. Might be time to start worrying about dinner, too-
>A tiny voice fights to be heard above the completely still air.
>"OH HI FLUTTER-" Pinkie calls out before she can tie your counterweight.
>Of course, you get to hang in the air for just long enough to realize. Comedy has to get his due before Gravity...
"SHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII- OW"
>You crash into a snowmare Pinkie just so happened to have built under your work zone. With that and the crummy, rusty carabiner thingies you got, it slows your fall enough to only be bone-chattering, not bone-shattering.
>"Ooopsie, teehee..."
>>"Oh dear, Anon are you okay!?" Flutters beats Pinkie to your side, already hoisting you up with her neck. "I was just bringing this salted trout to make up for SOMEPONY's rude behavior-"
>You think she glares at that fat raccoon, still on your cart, but you're seeing tripoublequadsomething-
>It's not the weird vision that bothers you though. It's the cartoon crickets swirling and chirping around your head!
"WoAoAoAh i HaTe CrIcKeTs"
>As soon as Fluttershy steps away you start wobbling and spinning out, having to lean on the school while you shake off the stars.
"Ow. Ok- I think I'm good. OW. Probly got some new bruises but nothin's broken."
>>"Oh, good, phew..." Hot breath on your back. Fluttershy inspects the former bald spot, "Oh, good, it's all but healed. Um, should I come to your house for the blanket?"
"Uh...."
>>"That is, if it's not too much trouble, I don't want to be a bother. It's just my mother made that for me..."
>OhshitohshitohSHIT
"Um. Rarity all but snatched it from me and burned it?"
>>"Wh- why?"
"She freaked out over it being possible medical waste? I think? She DID promise to replace it if you asked!"
>
>
>>Sigh. "Okay."
"...That's it? Just ok?"
>>"Yes. I wanted to get mad but I realize I didn't tell you, so, really it's my fault. I know you would have fought her harder if you knew."

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>>43639217
>B-but I don't wanna marry a Anonmare
Oops... look what happened!

>>43639410
You think Anonstallion has it bad? He only had to be in there for a few minutes. Anonfilly had to be in there for like a year!

>>43639410
i would, i don't care that it's a little gay

>>43639217
He's doing it out of anger. He literally deleted the. when he got called out and he was doing it in other threads and spamming soarindash months ago as well.

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Pre bed, sorry for shorter update today my hand hurts

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so regal, so beautiful

>>43641260
Tall order of mare

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ant image alert

>>43643006
Nominations open, good luck anonmare.

>anonmare got 5 supports before anonfilly
Anonmarebros... we somehow outpaced the filly.
Now all we need to do is get past the qualifiers.

>>43639341
>Fluttershy fluttersighs, walking up to that lazy raccoon with a disapproving frown. "Okay, are you going to roll onto my back, or do I need to get Harry?"
>This immediately induces a shriek and a chubby little trash panda flailing and squirming and rolling back and forth.
>"Come on, now- you can do it."
>Meanwhile, Pinkie scoops some clean snow into the pot, heat'll kill anything invisible. For boiling the fish- gotta get most of the salt out, if you don't want your insides turning into a desert.
>"That's it, little moOOF- there! Now, you'd better behave yourself at Rarity's, mister." Fluttershy chides the rotund raccoon now squish-flopped across her back like an overfull sack of rice. "Again, I'm sorry for the trouble. This isn't going to put you in danger, is it?"
"Uhhhhh... shouldn't? Might have to stretch it a bit but I only brought a few days worth at once, so, not like I just lost my whole stash."
>"Okay, good." Fluttershy lets out a breath you doubt even she knew she was holding. "Well, thank you for not skinning a certain sticky-pawed creature.. I have to talk to Rarity, so I guess I'll be going now. If that's ok."
"Mmhm, thanks, bye."
>"BYE FLUTTERSHY!"

>Dinner's fine. Would've preferred fried over stewed fish, but stew is easier with salt-preserved meat. Just go scrounging in the woodline, there's a few furtive carrots and onions that refused to wilt before Pony weather dominion, can toss those in.
>Mayor Mare pops by, sans filly, mostly to gawk at your progress. Though she does mention she sent a few letters out.
>Finally, once you're winding down for bed, you realize Gummy wasn't with Pinkie when you left the cafe.
>You realize this because he comes through the snow, riding an ornery wiener dog, leaping onto your head while Pinkie screams 'OH, THERE'S GUMMY! What have YOU been up to???'
"Mwaaagh! He's licking my horn!" You cry out, as he licks your horn-
>Green flashes and waterfalls of symbols, like something out of The Matrix, causes you to blink
>It rushes by too fast for you to parse most of it, until it takes the shape of a gigantic ASCII cupcake with 2 frames of animation- a gator biting at it.
"Uh... I think he said.. giant cupcake?"
>"Ohhh, that makes perfect sense." Pinkie states quite matter-of-factly, as Gummy leaps into her poofy mane.
>Of course she offers no further elaboration, you feel kind of stupid that you ever expected it, even for a moment.

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>>43643282 (me)
Even if we get our asses destroyed in the voting I'm gonna say getting on the list that fast is an achievement in itself.

Jesus christ FINALLY we're back

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>>43643306 had a massive update to post and then the site went down aaaa
"Your gator's weird."
>"Thanks!"
>Gummy pokes out of Pinkie's mane with a big gummy smile.
>"G'night!"

>"G'day!"
>Pinkie once again beats you by a minute or two, bright-eyed and bushier-tailed than normal
>"C'mon, slowpoke, back to it!" Pinkie stuffs something vaguely akin to a granola bar in your mouth. Maybe she beat you by more than a couple minutes...
>Or maybe she already had them lying around. Never know with her.
>"C'monc'monc'mon we did like half that wall yesterday we can finish today!"
>She's... actually right.
>You started late due to having to hunt for breakfast and STILL got almost half the outer wall built.
>Out of the tent! Into the dim, earliest-morning sun! To the work site, where half of a new, unpainted wall sits side-by-side with a skeletal section.
>Pinkie Pie has already moved out the boards and boxes of nails for the bottom half; she'll wait until you're done with those to start rigging up the pulleys.
>Assuming you can get this all painted today, you might not even need her anymore. Not that it hasn't been fun, but it does feel awkward dragging her away from the Cakes.. Even if they REALLY booted her out so they could have sexy time.
>Maybe that's *why* it feels so awkward, but for something more practical: you really don't want to get used to having Pinkie around to help. Won't be good for future business, and it's not like you could ever expect her to quit and come work for you.
>
>A couple hours later, you nail the last nail in on the last board you can comfortably work on from the ground.
"Alright," wipe some sweat off your brow. "Break for lunch? Bit early but granola ain't exactly workin' mare food, y'know?"
>"Oh yeah-" Pinkie glances up from the pile of ropes and rock-sacks and gimballed wheely-dingles she's working on. "Applejack'll be by with some veggie pot pies soon."
"When'd you set that up?"
>"This morning! I told ya I can get places super fast sometimes, right?"
"Yes, Pinkie, yes you did."

>Another half hour. You've been alternating between helping Pinkie tie knots and running inside to double-check the wall slats you've already put down.
>No weird pinpricks of light, no nails jutting through the other side!
>A weird rumbling pulls you outside-
>Something almost, but not really, like an engine. Shaking the ground a bit-
>Just after you get out the door you notice the shadow falling over you.
>And the thing it belongs to- a big mobile wooden crane-truck-thing, trundling along the road, coming from town.
>It's big. Kind of reminds you of an 18-wheeler flatbed, but it's got a crane taking up most of the trailer and a LOT of rope and winches and such piled in the cargo bed.
>An off-yellow mare, silver mane stuffed into a pink hard hat, leans out the side window. You should probably see what she wants...

>>43644047
>It's intimidating, at first. Approaching the vehicle- not because it's scary. It just.. Heartbreaking reminders and all.
>Your steps pick up, however, once you get close enough to realize that's not an engine you're hearing-
>No, it's a bunch of hooves on treadmills. Wooden mechanisms- brakes thunking into place like the wood cart did.
>Whole thing makes your horn feel funny- some kind of come to life spell powered by the treadmills? Freaky nature magic vines? Ordinary electric drivetrain charged from friction? Or, wouldn't that technically BE a come to life spell powered by electricity? That spell in Winter Wrap Up didn't seem to impart 'life,' just mechanical operation...
>Dunno. Something something we flattened a stone, cursed it to think and wrote runes of captured lightning to watch porn wherever we want.
>Whatever the exact method may be, it's an internal horse-drawn mechanism. What'll they think of next?
>The driver/conductor/whatever's eyes flit between your approach and your work site-
"Can I help you?" You manage to scrape most of the sarcasm off of that. Most, not all.
>Pinkie shouts from behind you- "Don't worry Cindy, I got the deetz! We're on for the third of next month!" And then she goes back to putting blocks and tackle together. Occasionally spins the pulley wheels and goes 'whee.' Y'know, Pinkie stuff.
>>"THANKS!" Cindy, you presume, shouts back before looking down at you. "Ooh, sorry. Name's Cindy Block. Honestly, I only stopped cuz I saw Pinkie over there, but uh..."
>>Cindy glances around awkwardly before just getting on with it- "Well, been hearing the mayor roped a new henchpony into our eStEeEmEd SiStErHoOd Of CoNtRaCtOrS- so, guess I'm checkin' out the competition now, eh?"
>'Competition' sends your mind reeling into worst-case scenarios. Stupid pranks, sabotage, bullying, retarded rivalry you never asked for-
>>"It just you?"
"Uh- usually. Pinkie got volunteered by her masters for this one job."
>>"Uh huh. Yeah." Her head disappears into the crane cabin for a moment. You hear vague... relief? a bit later.
"Uh- HEY, there a problem?"
>>Cindy pops back out, cheerful as a Pinkie in sugar. "Nope! Honestly, it's great to have a smaller contractor doing tiny jobs like this. Means we get to keep our tax bracket and NOT get called in for every tiny job!"
>You were about to ask what the hell she meant by 'tiny' but- yeah. Her crew has a giant wacky wooden construction behemoth and is carving out an entire section of the forest to turn into farmland, while you're really just fixing a busted wall and some furniture.
>>Cindy whistles approvingly, as she scans the two thirds of wall you've done. "Honestly, not a bad job for a pony with no apprenticeship, no degree- absolutely nothing noteworthy about your method or execution, and I say that as a compliment... Well.."
>Oh great here it comes-
>>"I say that, but I know you got those magic claw things on top of unicorn magic."

>>43644056
"Huh? Oh, these?" You flex your 'fingers' on your outstretched leg, casting a green glow over your front half. "Yeah, they're like, made outta force, feels like little limbs-I got as much range of motion with all of 'em as I do my tongue."
>>"Oh. So THAT's why ponies keep saying you're part timber wolf." Her voice betrays no malice, her expression is mild amusement.
"Why, because of the grabber claws or because of the green glow?"
>>"Both. And-"
You accurately predict her answers and answer in unison- "And the weird senses, and the hermit act, and the scrounging in the woods."
>>"Ha. Yeah, I figured you knew the rumors... But, I dunno, seeing how normal your work really is sets ME at ease, at least?"
"...Come again?"
>>"Eh? Well... Y'know, town's mostly earth ponies... Unicorns aren't common 'round here, and folk tend to make shit up. You get fast results and nothing you make 'feels' enchanted- now I know that it's just cuz ya work with good, honest nails and not freaky magic that lets you weld wood together."
"Would that be such a bad thing if I could?"
>>"I mean- some folks wonder about that but nopony's chased you off yet. It'd still be weird though, being able to weld wood..."
"Ha, yeah, sure."
>>"Weeeeelp-" She says languidly, looking down the road, into town. "We got a work site to get to, and it looks like your food's here- can't imagine who else Applejack would be carrying food for without a cart."
>You glance the same way, and sure enough, there's Applejack, with a wobbly little Apple Bloom in tow!
>>Cindy's nostrils flare, sucking in every possible pie particle she can get. "Got DANG, fresh veg pot pie from Sweet Apple Acres- lucky. I mean, they got relatives working with us, so we're getting fat even with all the work we're doing, but DAMN, you're getting it hot and fresh!"
>Applejack saunters up, smug as a bug, only breaking the facade long enough to glance towards Apple Bloom waddling over to Pinkie Pie.
>"Heh heh heh, sorry Cindy, Anon's practically family so ah'm 'fraid she's gettin' that good ol' fashioned nepotism. Buuuut ah got two pies, and even Anon can't eat that much-"
"Don't make bets your pie tins can't cash, Apple."
>"Oh hush, you-" Applejack arily swats her hoof in your general direction, but keeps her eyes on Cindy. "But seriously, Cindy, ah got a piece or two t' spare, surely."
>>Cindy does a full lemon face scrunch, letting out a rather frustrated sigh. "No, dang it, shouldn't be eating in the cabin, especially not in front of my drivetrain crew!"
>Ragged noises from inside, in a vague approximation of 'yeah ya jerk!'
>>"Thank you though. But don't worry, your cousin Fiddlesticks has been stuffing our faces just fine... And on that note-"
>Cindy glances all around, into various mirror arrays, paying special attention to Apple Bloom and her not being in the road-
>>"STEADY AHEAD!" She shouts behind her.
>"Steady ahead, boss! On it!" and the sounds of hooves and oiled belts and gears and ropes picks up again

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>>43644033
Being frozen like that was disconcerting.

>>43641260
Pretty!

>>43644067
>After a short delay, straining against its own weight, the big rig builds enough torque to lurch on down the road.
>Well. That went well.
>Kind of punching yourself over not realizing it was THE CLAWS that made ponies freak out.
>You never even use them! Except when you're working, or climbing (which you do a lot of when working)....
>Oh.
>And besides occasional bouts of shooting cans with Applejack, work is the only time you really leave your house...
>So that's where most ponies-
>Yeah.
>You had these damn things even when you had no magic at the orphanage. All your peers would've seen you sprout green claws when you were climbing trees or-
>You're kind of stupid sometimes, aren't you?
>
>
>You stare down at your hoof as you conjure them again, lost in thought. If ever you stop objecting to the Luna erasure that is Nightmare Night, you've got a metric SHITLOAD of costume possibilities!
>Might even go AS a timber wolf, heh... Maybe wait a while, though. You don't need to burn whatever cred you have right now.
>Sniff, sniff
>Oh right
>Applejack with the fresh pies
>Turn around, back to the school. Applejack has already laid out the pies and given herself and Pinkie quarter-slices.
>Applejack's might be a bit bigger, but then again she's also attending Apple Bloom via a little wooden spoon in her mouth.
>"Coming back to Equestria now, Sugarcube? C'mere, could-" She stumbles over her words as she smushes a spoonful onto Apple Bloom's cheeks, earning a triumphant raspberry from the smol fil. "Got dang it, filly! Open yer- Anon, please?"
>The whole exchange makes Pinkie Pie giggle, which makes Applejack glare at her, which makes the NEXT bite also end up on Apple Bloom instead of in her.
"I'm coming, I'm comiWOAH-" You accelerate to a canter and nearly eat dirt from a patch of ice hidden under the snow. You stumble and scrabble and skid a couple feet, but you stay upright. "Alright, I'm good!"
>There's a clear spot behind Apple Bloom where you can sit your fat ass, as you float a pie slice over to you and hold it in your hoofyhands.
>Of course that gets you a frustrated look from Applejack, but it quickly fades when you take the spoon in your magic field.
>The floating glow, predictably, enchants Apple Bloom and you have very little trouble feeding her. Even when she does try to jerk her head around, you're quick and agile enough to feint and counter without compromising a firm grip on the spoon.
>All the while, you smirk at Applejack with a raised eyebrow-
>"Alright, yeah, yeah, cheater forehead." You sense a bit of genuine frustration in Applejack, but the chuckle and smile are stronger.
>Course, she has every right to be jealous, since you can eat and feed the filly at the same time.
>Magic, fuck yeah. You don't even need to be holding your pie slice like this, but maybe doing it all through your horn would be showing off just a tad too much.
>You know you'd love doing it, but no.
>The pie tastes familiar. You've had it before.

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This was made with anon stallion in mind but I suppose it could just as well be anon mare. A post anon mare world anyway

>>43644956
RIP Anonmare... she got to live and die in Equestria.

>>43644531
>Yep. Definitely- this tastes just like the pie Pear made. The one she left in the fridge and you and Applejack and Big Mac ended up eating most of.
"Great pie, AJ. Family recipe." A statement, not a question.
>"Somepony's gotta make it right, an' Big Mac ain't much better at makin' pies as makin' letters."
>Big Mac, letters-
>Oooof.
>Bad memory! Shit!
>You must've winced visibly, as Applejack starts making odd confused yet concerned noises. "Um- Uh-"
>Shit, did you ever tell her?
>She probably found out, but-
>"Sugarcube? You alright?"
"Um... Do you, or do you not, know what happened with Cheerilee?"
>"Uh.... Ah hear she did time for attackin' a filly..." Her eyes go wide. "OH... oh consarnit, did ah just open a wound there?"
"Yeah, but not for the reason you're assuming-"
>A raspberry and a googoo from in front of you. Cornsilk legs waving, grabbing at your spoon. Apple Bloom wants you to resume feeding her, please.
"Oh, alright squirt- here." You shovel another bite down Bloom's craw and nuzzle her head. She giggles and nuzzles back, little pink bow ticking your chin.
>Pinkie Pie's mane goes ever so slightly straighter, and you think she grinds her teeth, watching you drown in foalsitting while she dies of thirst.
>You wave another bite in front of Apple Bloom, but she shakes her head, rubs her stomach and leans back into you, gazing up as you look down.
>A grunt from Applejack shakes you out of... whatever you wanna call this. Right, you did just sit down and feed her sister better than she did...
"Alright Apple Bloom, go sit with your sister now." You get up and nudge her with your nose, using your legs to corral her into the desired direction.
>"Yeah, c'mere lil sis, don't be runnin' off til yer lunch settles..." AJ nestles the filly between her front legs, letting her warm up against her belly. "'Course, don't be runnin' off at all, at yer age, but..."
>She trails off, letting Apple Bloom rub her chubby little cheeks on her chest. After a moment she looks back at you- "So, uh, you were sayin'?"
Deep breath. "Right. Yeah- Long story short, I was the kid Cheerilee almost killed- but she was, like, crazy."
>You can see the concern digging trenches in Applejack's brow. She opens her mouth, you hold up a hoof for silence, and she.. obeys?
"I know how that sounds, but she had an actual mental breakdown. Like, full-on 'insanity as a legal defense' breakdown. And I caused it- not intentionally, but I did."
>"Hold on, Anon." Applejack hands Apple Bloom to Pinkie Pie, "Take 'er into th' tent. Don't need her lil ears hearin' grownup talk, jus' yet."
>Pinkie enthusiastically complies, pulling various implements of entertainment out of nowhere as she runs into the tent.
>
>
>You go on to recap the whole sad affair-
>How Cheerilee was a late bloomer and was getting depressed over it
>How you'd been advising other fillies and she begged you to help her too

>>43645105
>How your one in a million 100% correct 'guess' of her cutie mark moment broke her brain and she tried to kill you with a pillow.
"..Yeah, so, she had two friends with her.. one of them, Tangy, chickened out and cowered in the corner. Thought it was all talk and they were gonna just draw dicks on my face or beat me up a bit. Got off real easy, orphan probation. Before you ask, no I have no fucking clue what that actually is, but we stayed friends."
>Applejack puts her hoof down
"The other, Sweeten Sour... she was... into it."
>"Into it... how?"
"Into it like she went to Actual Jail for it... Come to think of it, maybe she contributed to Cheerilee's episode? I dunno, not like I could've asked either of them."
>"Could be. So..." You note that Applejack's started looking at the school a lot. "Poor filly, bet she can't work here anymore."
"You think she deserves to?"
>"Ah dunno- but ah dunno that she don't, neither. Ma would... uh, she'd let me off the hook real easy a couple times. Told me, if we condemned foals for being stupid, Pa woulda got the noose a hunnerd years ago..."
>AJ eyeballs you in that honest apple kind of way. "Say... Yer talkin' like you got a plan or somethin'."
"I do. Let's just say that, legally, there's no reason Cheerilee can't be a teacher, and the only thing stopping her is that townsponies might riot over her criminal record... But, there's a formal process to get, eh, my forgiveness on record."
>Applejack's eyebrows nuzzle up to her hat. "Probably complicated, so you're doing this fer th' mayor and she's lookin' into that fer ya."
"Sharp as ever, my friend... So..." You scratch the back of your neck.
>"Alright. Ah trust Princess Celestia's law, an' it's yer right ta feel how ya want... jus, tell me why this matters so much to ya."
"Applej-"
>She keeps going, locking eyes with you. "Sugarcube, yer fightin' to put an allegedly dangerous pony in a position of power over mah sister. An' ah know ya well enough ta trust ya on that, but it sure would help me accept it if ah knew why it mattered this much to ya."
>Applejack's words are kind, but her voice wavers. There's lines around her eyes- she WANTS to trust you, but she isn't as sure as she's trying to convince you of.
>Deep breath.
"She... she was there for me, Applejack. A lot. If you're my favorite cousin, she's... she was the closest thing to a sister I've ever had. I might've given up, not made it past the first few days, if she hadn't snuck in and stayed with me at my lowest"
>"Oh.. That'll do it." All that quiet harshness is gone, leaving a mare.. slightly ashamed of herself? Maybe?
"I'll tell you the same thing I told that cop who handled the case: I just want her to be okay. Even if we're not friends."
>"Okay then. Lemme know if ah can help- n-not t'day, gotta bring the foal home, but..."
>Double-take.
"J-j-just like that?"
>"Anonmare, how many times ah gotta tell ya yer family 'fore it actually sticks?" She rolls her eyes, sighs. "Yes. Just like that."

pre bed

>>43645425
i love anonmare!!!

>>43626795
>Pic
>"Anon, I know the whole mare thing has been getting to you lately, but now I'm really worried."

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Help me give her a mane and outfit please

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>>43646131
Swimsuit from last year's Miss /mlp/

>>43646131
I would but I'm profoundly bad at drawing, to the point where the only time I can draw a straight line is if I'm trying to draw a squiggly one.

>>43646721
Qualifers are now open, more than half the mares aren't going to make the cut, let's hope Anonmare can make it through.

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>>43646758
I done did my part

9

>>43645114
>She's right. What is it now, two? Three times this week?
"Yeah, guess I'm just used to everything getting more complicated all the time."
>"Think that's jus' growin' up. We'll get used to it. Anyway- ah'd better get Apple Bloom home 'fore she freezes..."
>A short pause, while AJ turns to the tent- "Or Pinkie Pie spoils her rotten. Heh. Keep the second pie, jus' bring the pie tin back whenever."
"Sure, thanks again for lunch.. And dinner too, I guess."
>"Don't mention it!" She hardly even glances back as she approaches the tent, pulling her hat down tight and grabbing a rope.
>Down low, like a panther. Muscles tense as she ties a lasso. The tent is pulled open-
>"ALRIGHT PINKIE PIE, GIMME BACK MAH SISTER!"
>>"NOOO IM NOT DONE PLAYING YET! I CAN WIN IT ALL BACK!"
>The lasso is thrown in. Applejack strains. Did she lasso Pinkie by mistake?
>No. Out comes Apple Bloom, heaving sack of chocolate coins tied around her body, jingling as Applejack reels her in.
>>"COME ON! BEST THREE OUTTA FIVE! MOMMA'S DUE FOR A HOT STREAK!" Pinkie Pie dives out after the filly, scattering a checkerboard and tokens
>Of course, Applejack's ears are deaf. Once the filly is secured, she stares hard at Pinkie, now desperately kissing AJ's hooves.
>Deep breath, eyes hard- but whatever rant she has, Applejack glances at you and lets it out with a sigh. "Pinkie Pie, ah don't appreciate ya teachin' Apple Bloom about gambling- and furthermore, didn't yer mama ever tell ya not ta gamble anythin' ya can't afford ta lose?"
>And with that, AJ shakes her head and tries to turn around-
>"Oh fer- am ah gonna have ta get Anon in here with a prybar? It's candy coins, can't ya MAKE more!? Now let go o' me!"
>Somewhat surprisingly, Pinkie complies, leaving AJ free to leave in slightly lower spirits than a minute or two ago.
>
>
>You watch as AJ goes back into town, probably to cut through to Sweet Apple Acres. Faster than just walking the perimeter after all.
>Pinkie reinflates, back to her usual self, picking herself up and going back to the pulley pile.
>Gummy pokes out of her mane, gazing downward and radiating disappointment. She returns the glance, "Yeah, okay, I should've let you play. You told me so."

>>43647166

>Afternoon. One third of the back wall is still skeletal, but you can get it done today.
>The hoists are set up and you've got a padded harness thing around your body.
>Nails are in your bags, in neat little boxes. Hammer too.
>Boards are in a pile, carefully organized to be in the same order you'll be working.
>Pinkie Pie won't be lazing around, the boards are too big and heavy for you to easily grab from up there, got pulleys to haul those up too. All run through the roof- it supports that big metal bell, so one chubby mare and some wood should be nothing.
"Double check the weights and arrester, please."
>"Hehe, yeah, sorry-" Pinkie vanishes into the school. There's some rattling and rock.. shuffly.. sounds? and she comes back out. "All good! We got brakes so if you drop you'll fall slower, we just.. kinda forgot to use them last time."
>...
>Can't be mad when you didn't check that shit either, y'know.
>"Say, why AREN'T we using scaffolds!?"
"Uh, cuz I figure they'd be a pain in the ass to set up?"
>"They sell prefab kits ya know- most of the workers in Ponyville don't even have magic!"
>She's right, you know
>You've even SEEN them before- when they were building the giant Sugarcube cupcake!
"Guh- buh- wuh- I GOT THE ROPE IDEA IN MY HEAD OK!?"
>Note to self: use scaffolds in the future you fat fucking idiot
>Being completely fair you didn't get close enough to see if those scaffolds were prefab kits, but still, why the hell did you never ask!?
>Said it yourself- you got the rope idea stuck in your head. Stubborn dipshit.
>Ugh. Whatever, you got work to do!
"Okay Pinkie, haul me up!"
>"Haulin' 'er up there, boss!"
>A few seconds later, you hear Pinkie grunt through her teeth, and the world starts shuffling beneath you.
>Even with scaffolds, you'd still need a way of hauling the boards up, which would've meant either still needing Pinkie, or needing to make a ramp, and that means a bigger scaffold kit or someth-
"Woah! We're good, stop here!"
>The ground lurches towards you for a moment, as you dangle around like a cat toy on a string. Pinkie must be testing the arrester-
"Yep, still good! Tie off the weights just in case!"
>"Yep!"
>Okay. Just gonna dangle a little more-
>The first board makes the climb and you grab it with your magic.
>One claw-hoof to help steady it, hammer in the other. Nails are small enough to not take much extra effort, so they come floating out of your bag once you're sure you can hold the board down if your horn *does* drop it.
>And so the pattern goes for the next few hours
>Still can't believe you actually thought this would be easier than just building a goddamn platform to stand on...

>>43647532
>
>
>Allllmost-
>Just
>One
>More
>Nail!
>And the last board is hammered in good.
>Just in time for dinner, you're ready to be lowered down.
>Still gotta paint it. Thank fuck the back wall is just solid- no windows to install or detail.
>And parts of that roof need retiling... And you need to fix a few desks.
>Blackboard and teacher's desk are beyond saving, not your problem unless-
>Okay, building a new desk is your problem if you're approaching this in good faith. But genuinely you have no fucking clue how to make a new blackboard.
>You touch down and get out of that harness. Pinkie is already setting up a pan-
"A frying pan?"
>"Duh? I actually have a camping oven but that'll take FOREEEVER. It's really only for cake emergencies! Frying slices of pie will go way faster."
"Whatever works. I'd even eat it cold, y'know."
>"Sure, but frozen pie? Frozen pie's a dessert concept, silly. Frozen key lime, for example. You don't want frozen carrot, pea, onion and turnip pie- that'll just break your teeth! Ooh, unless you blended it all into some kind of jelly, then maybe it'd work, but I dunno-"
>As is tradition, Pinkie Pie has an awful lot of this.
>Somehow she goes from frozen pies to obscure cricket-centric bat pony cuisine, and somehow ends up at lemons.
>Just, like, the fruit. Lemons.
>"-Speaking of an audience of philistines, did you know in ancient earth pony crossbow weddings they'd use lemons to force the bride and groom to pucker up? The whole reason for having a bunch of groomsponies and bridesmares was so they could smush the newlyweds together!"
"Sounds kinda fucked up."
>"It was! Anyway, food's hot..ish."
>Warm slice is passed around. Still got half a pie left...
"Hey, rig up one of those rock net sack.. things. We can put the pie in there, keep critters out."
>"Was thinkin' the same thing!"
>Hot pie makes you think of pizza for some reason.
>How long has it been...
>Have you really not had pizza at all except when you met Celestia?
>Holy shit you haven't.
"Hey Pinkie, is there a pizza place around?"
>"Nope, not in Ponyville. Not common in small towns, I think- least, I didn't run into any when I was moving to Ponyville. And lemme yell ya, I bummed through a LOTTA little towns- Rockfordforth is on the other side of the stinkin' country!"
"Then why did you come all the way to Ponyville?" You ask, almost positive you know the answer.
>"Saw a big rainbow and knew I had to check it out! But anyway, I think the last time I had pizza.... I swiped some from Maud's college dorm? When did you have it?"
"Orphanage pizza party with... fuck, not sure if I'm allowed to say, actually."
>"The Princess?"
"...I can neither confirm nor deny that."
>"Figured. Who else would be important enough to swear you to secrecy, rich enough to have priority pizza delivery, and nice enough to visit an orphanage?"
"I said-"
>"Yeah, I heard you. My lips are sealed. Cross my heart and hope to fly, stick a cupcake in my eye."

>>43647726
>Your horn tickles. Gummy's eyes flash. A COVENANT has been FORGED.
>"So, anyway, what're you gonna do about that scorch mark? I don't think Mayor Mare wants that to stay."
"...Hadn't thought about it. Replacing those floorboards would be simple, I guess, or I could just paint over them, or maybe lay out sawdust.. Would make it easier to clean up after the foals, wouldn't it?"
>"Ewww.. but yeah. That coould be worth running by the mayor."
"Gonna have to talk to her anyway- need to collect the week's pay, and, I dunno, making weekly reports seems like the right thing to do."
>"Yeah. Ponies paying for stuff usually like knowing what's going on, weird as that sounds." Pinkie rolls her eyes and shovels the last piece of her pie into her. "Welp, iunno bout you, but my jaw's cramping after a long day of biting rope. I'm goin' to bed!"
"G'night, I'll probably be in soon."
>
>As Pinkie's pink tail vanishes into the tent, you feel a bit melancholy.
>Soon she'll be going back to her normal job. Won't need her for spot repairs or paint, especially if you're not an idiot and you remember to get some scaffolding.
>Won't *need* her, but it's been nice having her around. Even if she's even weirder than you'd assumed, well, like she said- weirdos gotta look out for each other.
>Eh. Stop being a dumb bitch, it's not like she's moving back to.. Rockfordforth?
>You can see her whenever you want, you're just scared of slipping after you no longer have anything FORCING you to see her...
>
>
>Yep. That's it.
>Little revelation there- but will you actually do something about it? Or are you going back to the PoNEET shit when you're not working for the cows?
>
>
>If you insist on being lost in your own head, you should at least do it inside where it's warmer. Go to bed.
>Fabric rustles and rubs. Your sleeping bag sits before you. A poofy pringle panchacho snoozes in her own bag, next to yours.
>Eepy time.
>
>
>Goddamn you really need a good shower. You should see if you can make it home without wearing it, save you needing to wash it for a while longer.
>What? Yes you DO know how!
>Ok. Eepy time for real now. Tomorrow is Saturday, and... you have no fucking clue if the mayor will be in.
>Should you work tomorrow? Your pay is specifically per weekday... but you also get paid the whole wage when you finish anyway, so...
>Up to you, you suppose? Either option can be legally and financially justified.
>
>
>Goddammit you were never good at going to bed early.
>It's a long night before you fall asleep.

pweb

>>43646786
mare army!

>>43648279
Mare army
Marmry
Mamre
Amre

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We're so in!

>>43649266
BREAKING NEWS
We're so back scientists are questioning whether it was ever over at all

>>43647744

>Wakey wakey, eyelid crust and cranky!
>Pinkie is already up, frying the last half-pie with a melancholy droop to her, well, everything. Even her mane seems a little straighter.
>She turns her big blue eye at you without turning her head as you crawl out of the tent.
>"Oh, hey. Wall's up so, I... guess this is it?"
"Yeah, guess so. I mean, I don't have anything against you sticking around, but I don't wanna mess up whatever deal you got with the Cakes."
>A grunt of acknowledgement. Pinkie turns her focus back to poking at the pie slices with a spatula.
"Why the long face? I thought you wanted to be a baker... party planner... something or other."
>Wait, has she ever TOLD you that?
>You're being paranoid. Observe:
"Y'know, why else would you have walked a thousand miles and more or less adopted yourself into a family of bakers?" Saved it.
>"Huh? Oh- yeah, carpentry is hard and it's a lotta strain on my mouth. That's not what I'm sad about."
>Her gaze lingers on you, before yet again turning to the warming pie slices- well. She's mashed them up and is now turning them over and around so it's more like a fried stew? Eh, you've had less classy leftovers before.
>Not by MUCH, but that's enough to not be the scranniest scran on record.
>...Come on. Even you're not this retarded! You know what she's getting at!
"...Yeah, it has been nice hanging out with a pony who gets it." You sit next to her, a thin cushion the only thing separating your ass from frost. "Still, you know where I live now, and... well..."
>She's trying to act aloof. You can see the slight strain in her face muscles, but an ear swiveling is what really gives her interest away.
"Applejack and I were talking a few days back, and it kinda got to where she'd agreed to cut you some slack.. on the weird out of towner shit. And, since she's the de facto heiress to the biggest family in Ponyville..."
>No response. Just more poking with the spatula.
"Plus, those construction ponies seem well connected. And the mayor promised to put your name on the credits for the schoolhouse... Guess I'm trying to say you should be having less trouble beating the allegations, in the future?"
>STILL no real response, but she's looking at you again, at least.
>Back to the pan- but this time she's scooping out half into a bowl.
"I was sad last night for the same reason, y'know. But we'll see each other around."
>A little smile escapes its cage as Pinkie offers you your bowl in both hooves. "Yeah, I know. It's just, you're not the only mare who gets stuck in her own head a lot."
"Yep. Besides, where else am I gonna get a 5-bit breakfast and an emergency trampoline on zero notice?"

>Breakfast finished. Now to help Pinkie pack up-
>"You sure? You can keep using the tent as long as ya want."

>>43649439
"Yeah, I'm sure. I'd rather sleep in my bed from now on- I can just store the paint cans and tiling stuff inside the school... Hell, I could sleep in the school for a night if I had to- maybe I'll hang onto the sleeping bag for a bit."
>"You can just keep it. There's only one of me and you never know when you'll have a camping emergency!" The poof is returning to the ponk in real time!
"Sure, but by that same logic I'm never gonna be carrying it when I REALLY need it... Buuut I do need to upgrade my cart, and I could stuff it into a rack somewhere..."
>"Speaking of cart- better take this wagon back to the lumber yard."
"I'll take care of that-" Before Pinkie can speak up, you continue- "N-n-now don't worry, I'm stronger than I look and it's not gonna be full of wood."
>"But it will be full of rope and pulleys."
"Yes, yes it will, but still."

>Clank, clatter, rustle, scrape
>Your campsite and reusable requisitions are dismantled and packed up properly, save your sleeping bag which you're leaving in the schoolhouse for now
>"Don't forget the cart we brought the firewood on!"
"Oh yeah, thanks. Help me-"
>The two of you heave the log cart and your little red wagon into the big wagon. They might roll around a little but that shouldn't be a problem at the speed you'll be going.
>Pinkie helps you into the harness, tightening it for you and providing an extra set of senses while you operate the weird car alarm brakes on this wagon.
>THUNK-
"Okay, that did it."
>Pinkie scampers off, crawling into her backpack harness and heaving her camping gear up onto her back.
>"Sugarcube Corner's on the west end, so I'll stick with you to the lumber yard. Just in case."
"Mmhm. Let's go."

>Wagon's kind of a bitch to haul, but not outside your capabilities
>Helps that the lumber yard isn't that far away, though. Pinkie makes sure you won't roll off, and then she's off pronking and clanking away.
>Cindy Block is loitering on the front porch, she waves at you but doesn't say anything. You nod back.
>After a minute or two, that ash-colored stallion comes out, significantly nicer than he was the first time.
>He checks the manifest against the wagon contents, grumbling in approval- except when he spots the red wagon.
"That's mine, brought it from home, just didn't wanna leave it unattended."
>"Eh, whatever, just c'mere and get it."
"Yeah, coming, coming."
>The manifest all checks out, nothing broken or damaged worse than you found it.
>He calls into the building for a carter, making idle chatter while you wait- "Wasn't sure about ya kid, but Cindy was impressed, and Cindy knows her shit-"
>>"You're damn right I do, Hearthstone. So, settle a bet for us- why the hell didn't you set up scaffolds?"
>
>
"....I'm a dumbfuck. That's why. Thought they'd take too much time to set up and never bothered to ask, I was beating myself up over it yesterday when I finally realized."

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Our opponents, Tracy and... Trixie.

>>43649502
>>"Of COURSE the one time he bets on you bein' stupid, you actually were!" Cindy moans and tosses Hearthstone a bronze ten-bit, which he pockets with a shit-eating grin.
>"Hey, she got the job done, didn't she?"
>>"Yeah, yeah- I told YOU that, you doughy doubter! Anyway-"
>Cindy eyeballs the red cart, eye bugging out in disbelief.
"Hey- it was what I used when I was a kid first starting.. justneverupgradedisall..."
>>"It's cute, alright? Buuut yeah, you really should upgrade when you can."
>"B'fore ya ask, no, we don't SELL carts, only lend 'em out. But there's a cartwright in the northern woods, made the ones you used- tell him Hearthstone Kindle sent you, he'll get straight to business."
"Thanks, I w-uh, wait, straight to business?" You can't help but cock your head at that.
>"Oh, you know how cart sellers are. Always some new doodad or silly little machine to add on, but you drop my name and he'll know you're a workin' mare looking for the essentials."
"Yeah, that IS good to know, I'll remember that. Any idea what prices we're talking about? I don't wanna show up until I can make a serious offer, y'know?"
>>"Biggun like that wood wagon? Few thousand. Maybe 5k, counting interest for a payment plan."
"Yeesh-"
>>"Eh, but you do smaller work, right? You're usually doing repairs and furniture, so.. a perfectly fine little cart wouldn't be more than, uh, 700? Slightly bigger four wheel wagon might be an even thousand."
>"Lotta money for a single product but Crazy Horse builds stuff to last, it'll be worth it. Besides, his stuff's pretty damn cheap compared to city lots."
"Oh, yeah, bet living in the forest helps a lot. I know that feeling."
>"Yeah, plus when he needs more wood it's right next door. That helps a ton too."
>
>
>"Oh for- where in the 7 cell blocks of Tartarus is that mare?" Hearthstone taps his hoof on the wooden deck and snorts.
>>"All three of your carters are running to the eastern orchard, remember?"
>"Right, right... Okay kid, you got another order? We don't start new orders on Saturdays but I can have it at the top of the list come Monday."
"Uh, was gonna check in with the mayor before I did anything more. More importantly, I haven't run the numbers for what the roof is gonna take yet."
>"Well, my door stays open til moonrise, can't guarantee there won't be a delay if you wait til Monday."
"Mm, yeah, can't afford to wait another month." You say with a sarcastic air.
>"Heh, nah, just make ya wait outside in the dead of night again... Alright, hop outta that thing, I'll just take it back in."
>You shuffle around and swap places, Hearthstone hauls the wagon to a garage you had previously assumed was just a wall.
>He glances behind him while the door raises- "Seriously, it'll be easier for us both if you get that order in today. Please?"
"Sure thing, Hearth- town hall, then the school, then back here."

>>43649652
Round 1 is open. We can beat Tracy... right?

>>43649672
>>43646786
I have yet again done did my part, pardner

Anonmare vs Flawless for most autistic was impossible for me, but in the end I think I made the the right choice.

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>>43649991
She might not have done very well last year, but I still had fun with her edits.
Not sure what I'll do this year when the special rounds come up. Try to draw something from scratch I guess?
What would her Nightmare Night costume be?

>>43650016
My anonmare's going as a timber wolf, assuming she can find some glowing eye glasses

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>>43649724
and i am doing my part

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Pre bed

9

8

>>43651816

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It was close, 20 vote difference.

>>43653073
Next round is up!

>>43653137
>Have to vote against Trixie
I'm sorry, my waifu

>>43653460
>DTanon is more loyal to the thread than his waifu
I kneel... and I'm sorry for putting you through this.

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bed

8

Deb

>>43649569
Chapter 10: It's all coming together

>Walking through Ponyville is a lot easier without that giant wagon. Who knew?
>Still got your red wagon, but with only a small haybale on it, it's nowhere near the trouble Applejack had with the milk cans.
>Okay, it's a little bit of trouble, but not enough to hinder your effort to enjoy Ponyville on a Saturday.
>Foals are playing, a few parents are arguing over Hearthswarming, and somewhere over the rooftops you catch a glimpse of rainbow mane on a cloud.
>A lot of specialty stores are closed, but bars, restaurants, 'fun' places- they're all open and doing brisk business.
>Cold today. And you left your cloak at the school, didn't want to wear it while caked in grease and sweat. God you need a shower, that's it, no more camping at a work site.
>Wait, Ponyville has a spa and bathhouse-
>No, there's no way you can afford that, at least not regularly. Oh well.
>
>
>It occurs to you only now, as you step onto city hall's porch, that you're about to present yourself to the mayor while stinkier than a hobo.
>Fucking hell.
>Grit your teeth and bear it. If she asks, try and spin it as you working day and night, which to be fair is exactly what happened.

>Far-off giggles and snowball impacts and a couple sets of *breathily* laughing lovers turn into that familiar sound of typewriters and boredom, as the big doors close behind you.
>More offices are open than you'd have expected for a Saturday. Makes sense, if a lot of ponies work all week then they'd need to come in on the weekend. Never gonna get used to the government having *accommodating* schedules. What next, a divine monarch who doesn't fuck kids and bathe in orphan blood? Madness!
>Okay. Where's the mayor? Should probably ask that constable over there-
>His nostrils flare in disgust as soon as you get close...
"Hey, I'm not a hobo, I'm fresh off a work site!" You shake your ass to emphasize the toolbags hanging off it. "Need to report in."
>"Contractor payroll is downstairs, first door on the right if you take the east stairs." He says with an undisguised sneer.
>Right
>Because a sweaty bitch waltzing in and expecting the mayor to personally handle-
>"Oh, Anon, I was just about to send a runner!" Mayor Mare's voice calls out from the thin crowd.
>A few moments later, she's next to you, clearly smelling you but putting on her best neutral face. "It's alright, Pierce, I'm personally overseeing the schoolhouse reconstruction."
>He grunts, says nothing, and turns his passive derision to the crowd of petitioners walking to and fro.
>"Don't mind Constable Pierce, he's just doing his job- though, honey, you REALLY need a bath." Mayor Mare's doing her best to look benevolently concerned, but it's obvious you stink to hell and back and you're making it everyone else's problem.
"Heh, yeah, sorry, been at it all week."
>"Is your plumbing working? I could-"

>>43655665
"N-n-no, that is, yes my shower still works, I've just been camped out all week, didn't wanna leave a big wagon full of expensive parts unguarded."
>Mayor Mare's eyes narrow, causing you to adopt an awkward nonchalant smile. Finally, "Well... If you have to do this again, the bathhouse offers washtubs for a few bits, hardly any more expensive than paying for your own water. Please avail yourself of them, if not for my sake then for yours."
"Y-yeah, sorry, believe me I don't like feeling like this."
>"Well! You're here now, let's get down to business, just keep that in mind for next time-" She fixes you with a gaze, as you're picking up a hoof to trot to the stairway. "Um, no, please, I'd... really rather you weren't sitting on my cushions right now."
"Fair enough, heh..." The awkwardness has been doubled!
>"Quite. Now then, I've been hearing gossip from the other contractors, but why don't you report in your own words please?" You notice one of those ninja aides has backflipped out of the background, now taking minutes down on a little notepad.
"Um, yeah, so- got the wall put up. Still needs to be painted, and there's some work to do on the roof, aaand a few desks inside are busted, but- yeah. Feel like fixing up an entire wall with 2 ponies in one week isn't half bad."
>"Indeed it's not. Ask the suppliers for 'Hearts and Hooves Red' paint. Oh- before I forget, don't worry about the blackboard. We have our own suppliers and their guild is... ahem, ornery."
"Got it. Oh, before *I* forget- the, um, scorch marks from Katonic's... escape..."
>"If the floorboards are structurally sound, don't worry about it, we'll be putting varnish and sawdust over the whole floor anyway. Again, we have a guild for that, so you doing anything would actively make things harder for us... Really should have told you that before, but-"
"But you'd gotten an hour of sleep in a week. Yeah."
>"Quite..." Mayor Mare rubs the back of her head, blushing a bit. "WELL. If that's everything, the payroll clerk will have the week's pay waiting."
"About that... Uh, could I just get a banknote at the end? Thinking of taking this and reinvesting it into a new wagon. Don't need a sack of coins threatening to be spent or get lost or stolen before I can save up..."
>You briefly worry if you'd said something wrong, as Mayor Mare scrutinizes you... scrutinately. Wow, even Pinkie couldn't fuck up a word THAT bad-
>"How delightfully forward-thinking! Shrewd, even-" She glances back at the aide, "Mercury, see that the payroll knows Anon asked for a lump sum in banknotes."
>A yammering in the crowd draws Mayor Mare's eyes and ears- you catch words like 'business bureau' and 'filthy rich.'
>"It seems I have a meeting to attend, so..." She says with a sigh.
"Yeah, I gotta run back to the school and tally everything up for the next supply run. Don't worry, I intend on sleeping at home tonight..."
>Mayor Mare eyes you blankly through a fog of probable despair and sleep deprivation.

>>43655671
"Y'know, my home, where my shower lives?"
>"Oh! Right, yes, very good. Now, if you'll excuse me-" She trudges off to meet the angry mob.
>You trudge off towards your next job, in turn

>Back at the schoolhouse. Your little command center is still setup inside, with your booklets and such.
>Before you do anything else, you write down Hearts and Hooves Red paint. 1 should be enough, you can always buy more later.
>And one story of scaffolding. Don't forget that- shouldn't need more, a paint brush is light enough to work with fairly far from your body.
>Alright. Now the roof-
>The bell tower makes for a good anchor point. You reach out with your magic, trying to pull on it, at the same time you use your claws.
>A few hops later, you've rappelled onto the rooftop and fuck this is steep-
>Gonna need some rope and a pulley-carabiner-thingy rated for climbing to actually work on the roof, but you can manage a survey unaided.
>Keeping your magic on the bell, you crawl around and count out the damaged and missing roof tiles.
>Mostly on the back third, 5 got cracked and 10 are basically gone. 15 new roof tiles, you pry one of the cracked ones up to take in as a sample, much easier than trying to measure the damn things and guess what exact kind of clay and color to ask for.

>About an hour later, you're turning in the order.
>"Monday morning. Maybe around noon if you're unlucky. You want it delivered here or the site?"
"Uh.. Here. Gonna be at home and it's a bit of a commute."
>"Got it. Make sure you bring that book with you. Not allowed to release city-funded stuff if you don't."
"Will do."
>"And, kid?"
"Yeah?"
>"Take a friggin shower, if not for my sake then for your poor bedsheets."
"Gonna be the first thing I do tonight."

8

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Expected outcome... but it was a lot closer than I thought.

>>43656405
Well, I still get to vote for my waifu

>>43656445
Next round open, we have to beat Apple Bloom. No idea how this one is gonna go, good luck Anonmare!

>>43656504
We're still in the running for best OC and most autistic, come on faggots push her over a line! Doesn't matter which!

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New thread is up, guess we better cheer now, this could be her last chance.
I managed to claim the first post, kek

>>43656640
Link to the new thread and
>>43656666

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If we win against Apple Bloom, Lotus and Soirée, and if Anonfilly loses against Celestia - we'll face off in the next round.

Post that is intended to bump the thread before bed, the pre bed post, if you will

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anonmare pretty

>>43657881
Indeed

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I ran out of time but here's what I managed to make for the swimsuit round.

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It's over... no swimsuit battle again Anonfilly...

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Still running for best OC, just barely

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Also still running for Most Autistic

>>43659349
Next round

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>>43659630
Why are sisters ever-fated to struggle against each other?

>>43659630
Dammit, it's so joever, we're out of every category. At least I can still vote for Trixie for Miss /mlp/, even though I know she'll inevitably lose to Ashleigh Ball if they're pitted against each other.

>>43659638
We're still in the mini-brackets, it's just that PageantAnon does them half at a time so they don't finish half way through the tournament. We'll get to vote for anonmare next round.

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Anonmare and her family again
>>43646234
I got side tracked and haven’t finished yet. Sorry but thank you for the idea and illustration

>>43659658
I love them so much, thank you artchad

>>43659658
Holy cute and elegant, batman

Wakeboop

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Looking at the mini-brackets for next round, we'll be going up against Floorb in BOTH brackets.

>>43655705

>Errands done. Time to go home for the first time all week.
>Well, unless you're counting the food run. Which you're not, since you didn't actually stay home.
>Swing by the schoolhouse and put your cloak in the red wagon, don't want to not have that on Monday morning.
>
>
>The big rig tracks, and the tracks you've been leaving to and fro, make the trip home much easier than it was even a week ago.
>Can't ever count on that, though. This close to the forest, there's always a chance of random weather topping up the tracks.
>But it hasn't happened yet, or at least not that you've noticed.
>And easy doesn't mean it isn't lonely. You don't run into anyone, despite the relatively short warp-time today. No Applejack, no Mooriel, not even a furtive Pinkie trying to spy on you.
>
>
>Kinda sucks, ngl.
>Maybe you'd gotten used to being alone so much, but after a week of constant companionship from the most personable pink pony in the known world, you're feeling very small and herdless right now.
>
>
>Finally, you find yourself trudging up the last hill to your tree cottage.
>Some water (you HOPE it was water) has frozen in spots, forcing you to climb up the hill with your claws.
>Punching your hooves into the dirt for extra traction, the odd sensory overload from sprouting magic from more places than your horn, it almost overwhelms your senses-
>Cracking ice, crunching snow, stirring and turning dirt. The sounds, smells and feelings-
>Almost, not quite. About 90% of the way up, you realize there's a rustling sound. Like breathing, but with leaf.
>Guess what's curled up on your front lawn?
>That same timber wolf, of course. Her(?) red leaves are all gone, replaced with a winter coat of pine and fir needles, but it's the same one. Who else would it be?
"Oh, hey, did you miss me?"
>A single blue-green eye opens in your direction. A crescendo of rubbing branches and twigs, in the vague shape of a grunt, accompanies it.
"Thanks, for... well, everything, really. Are you cold? I dunno how it works for you guys.. also dunno what I'd do about it, but I'd figure something-"
>A huge wooden head raises, eyes open. Green and blue, narrowed at you.
>The wolf grunts again, dropping her head and aggressively tightening her curl.
"O-o-okay, fine, I can take the hint."
>Embarrassed, you slink into your house.
>You're so desperate for a shower you just leave your red wagon in the kitchen. Not right in the path you'd take while half-asleep in the morning, you're not THAT dumb or impatient, but this does represent an unusual lack of care for your stuff.
>The shower is possibly the best shower you've ever had, at least in this life. Nothing quite like a shower you've truly earned... which of course, is the polite term for a shower you desperately fucking need you mongoloid redneck.

>>43661019
>Clean at last, for the first time in a week, you step out of the shower and-
>Brrr
>Forgot to turn the oven on!
>You don't exactly like using the fireplace- sure, it's cozy, but it adds up to being more expensive than just huddling in front of the oven
>And that's before you factor in the time cost of actually running out to get more wood
>Still, it's a lot faster to stack a few logs and spark a match than it is to wait for the oven to warm up
>The only thing giving you pause is worry that the timber wolf might take offense, but no, why would she care? You make damn sure to only scrounge deadwood from the forest, all the logs are from domesticated trees
>
>Right
>Dinner
>Well, you already have a fire going, no sense wasting energy with the stove.
>You got butter, you got bread, make some toast and have a sandwich
>Yeah. A cheese... and eggplant? That works.
>Cheddar and eggplant on toast. Ain't you a fancy chef now?
>Mouth open, about to take the first bite, interrupted-
>Noise outside, and movement in the window, in your peripheral.
>The timber wolf is watching something...
>She's not aggressive, just alert. Probably nothing to wor-
>"AAAAAAAAAAAAA!"
>-That sounded like a screaming nun. Must be Melilot hoping for a snack break again.
>Sigh
>Guess you'd better go see-

>Outside, the cold air hits you like a sack of ice, goddammit just got used to the warm house air-
>Ol' Redtooth is still staring in the same direction. Sure enough, you trace her eyes to a nun standing in front of a bush full of eyes.
"Mel, we gotta stop meeting like this! This is the second time I've-"
>Wait
>That wolf isn't looking at the hiking group, she's staring past them-
>A faint whiff of blood on the air raises your hackles.
"The wolf's friendly, just run inside! That blood ain't coming from her!"
>The eyes all trade nervous glances as Melilot shakes in her habit, but they all conclude that yes, your house smells far less dangerous than whatever's behind them, and a soft stampede of fillies files into your living room
"Okay... God I gotta stop looking for trouble, but I ain't stopping today." You say to yourself as you start looking for said trouble.
>Thump-thump-
>Steps? No, there's an undercurrent of creaking to that sound...
>Red is wagging her tail. But at WHAT!?
>"Hnng! C'moooon!" The deeper tone, and long OO sound, suggest a cow's voice struggling up your hill
>Yep- looks like Mootilda's head, slowly coming into view. And what's she hauling?
"Uh, hey, Mootilda- why do you have..." You cock your head, trying to get a better angle, to see around this suddenly very sweaty and nonchalant cow- "...Why are you carrying a cart of pig guts to my house?"
>Shifty eyes dart all around. "Um, uh, y'see-" She stammers in that way you only stammer in a stage play to signal to the audience that you're stalling for time.

>>43661354
>
"Okay, just so we're clear, I don't give a rat's ass about the dead pig part, it's the bringing it to my house part that weirds me out. I don't think ponies can eat pork chops."
>"Uhhhh.... Shipment of dog fooooood for our favorite repair pony?" She nervously glances at the now extremely alert and sniffing wolf
>...
"Alright then. I guess. Thanks, I was wondering if I should feed her anyway."
>"Oookay then, I'll just-"
"Waaait." You squint at Mootilda, who starts sweating and steaming even harder. "Nobody's gonna come lookin' for that pig, right? I'm working with the mayor, I don't need any heat on me."
>"Uh, nooope! We lose pigs all the time, bulls get real careless, step on 'em or gore 'em, it's just priced in!"
>You stare harder, for a moment
>But, honestly, that does make sense. Explains why the truffle team has so many damn pigs, at least.
"..Eh, whatever, just don't let folks see you bringin' the carcasses up here, I got enough of a weirdo reputation without being Dead Pigger Storage."

>>43661832
The next round is open, good luck Anonmare

>>43661896
I'm actually surprised Ashleigh Ball isn't sweeping, but it does mean I have nothing to feel bad about over voting for Trixie in the main category

>>43661896
>Anonmare vs Floor Bored in two side brackets AT THE SAME TIME
Goddamn, makes voting against Floorb feel extra bad when I have to do it twice in a row

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>>43661360
>dead pigger storage
this coffee, damn, that's some serious gourmet shit!

>>43662316
I know it's gourmet coffee, I'm the one who buys it!

>"Mmmm! Goddamn, Anon! This is some serious gourmet shit! Usually, I would be happy with some pre-ground Taster's Choice right, but you spring this serious GOURMET shit on me! What flavor is this?"
"Knock it off, Mooriel."
>"What?"
"I don't need you to tell me how fucking good my coffee is, okay? I'm the one who buys it. I know how good it is. When Gummy goes shopping he buys SHIT. I buy the gourmet expensive stuff because when I drink it I want to taste it. But you know what's on my mind right now? It AIN'T the coffee in my kitchen, it's the dead pigger in my frontyard."
>"Oh, Anon, don't even worry about that..."
"No, No, No, No, let me ask you a question. When you came pulling in here, did you notice a sign out in front of my house that said "Dead Pigger Storage"?"
>"Jimmie, you know I ain't seen no..."
"Did you notice a sign out in front of my house that said "Dead Nigger Storage"?"
>"No. I didn't."
"You know WHY you didn't see that sign?"
>"Why?"
"'Cause it ain't there, 'cause storing dead piggers ain't my fucking business, that's why!"

>>43662840
Top fucking kek

8

9

>>43662840
my dumbass phoneposting at work missed bits of the original transcript

>>43661360
>Another few awkward moments pass. Mootilda finally works up the nerve to move past you.
>Shrugging, you turn around as the ground shakes beneath Redtooth's steps.
>And back around again.
"Wait, one more thing-"
>A cow and a treat-lusting timber wolf both freeze mid-stride, looking at you. You're not sure whose neck is creaking louder.
"Well, two more things. One- feed her closer to the woods. I don't need 10 orphans staying the night cuz my yard makes them all faint. Two- don't drip blood on that hill, anything freezes and I damn near kill myself getting up here."
>Mootilda shoots you an awkward, too-toothy smile as she nods entirely too fast to be truly casual. The wolf has already moved to the treeline.
"Cool. Welp, I got tomorrow off if you need shit fixed. I don't mind working on Sunday but I'm waiting on some supplies for the school."
>"Gooood to knoooow!"
>Mootilda lumbers off after the timber wolf. Ha, lumber.
>Alright, don't quit your day job. Besides, you've got a herd of orphans to check on.

>You reach out to the doorknob, failing to turn it, causing you to smack into the door
"The hell?"
>Jiggle-jiggle
>The door's locked.
>YOU didn't lock it-
"Hey! Unlock my freakin' door!" Thump-thump, your hoof bangs against the wood. "DICK MOVE, ladies! COME ON!"
>No response, save for some rustling and murmuring.
>Fuck.
>Wait, you can pick locks, the hell are you worried about?
>Your lock is more complicated than the one on that old apple bunker, but still. Same basic design, just fill it with your magic and turn the lock.
>Takes some jiggering, some putting your ear to the door, but after a few minutes-
"HA! Got itwoahwoah-"
>You were still leaning on the door, so, idiot that you are, you fell on your face when you opened it. Especially stupid since your door swings OUTWARD.
>Why the FUCK did you do that!? Just throw yourself, spinning backwards, into the snow!?
>Goddammit
>You struggle to your hooves, dusting yourself off and walking in PROPERLY this time.
"Alright, show's over, it was a big nothing sandwich-"
>Speaking of sandwich, your sandwich is gone.
>Sigh
>They're just foals, they're just foals, they're just-
>Blinking eyes under your couch to your left. To your right, Sister Melilot has an old 1x1 board in her crumb-covered mouth.
>She's a lifelong nun and at least thrice your age, but you manage to cow her like a schoolfilly with the look you're giving her.
>Her mouth goes slack, the board clacks on the floor, and she makes herself as small as she can.
"Really?"
>"I-i-i've developed a habit of stress eating?"
"And locking me out of my own house?"
>Melilot stammers a bit, hanging her head in shame. "I panicked."
>To be fair, she knows what you're capable of. But still, as a matter of principle? That was a dick move.
Sigh. "You wanna make it right? Go check on Cheerilee."

>>43664393
>Melilot is taken aback- her ears perk up, high as her eyes are wide. "Cheerilee's back? Are you sure? She never came around, the head matron won't talk about it-"
>Mel puts a hoof on your shoulder. "Anon, you're the most capable young mare I know, you don't need to be afraid of-"
"I'M NOT AFRAID OF HER!"
>Melilot winces and stumbles back; in your periphery, a bunch of little eyes are screwed tight shut.
Deep breath. "Sorry. But I'm not afraid OF her, I'm afraid FOR her. I'm trying to get some favors to call in, help her fix her life, but she won't even talk NEAR me, let alone TO me. Mayor can't get her to come back to the orphanage, either. That must be why you didn't know."
>"So, you want me to..."
"Corner Cheerilee somewhere- probably the church when they're giving out alms. Rip the bandaid off- make sure she knows folks still love her and she has a place to stay."
>"W-well, of course, I'd do that even if you hadn't asked. Assuming I'd found out some other- well, you get the idea. But what's your place in all this? Surely your plan isn't to just have me guilt her into going home, right?"
"No, absolutely not."
>
>"W-well? Come on, the suspense is killing me, girl!"
Sigh. What's one more rundown this week? "Pretty simple- her criminal record's gonna screw her out of a teaching job, it's political suicide to hire her. But there's a way to clear that record, and I'm doing some favors for the mayor so she can spare the time to look into that for me."
>Melilot sits down, lost in thought, gears in her head clicking as she stares into your soul.
>Finally, something clicks. "
>"You know, for a moment I was quite surprised, Anon, but I shouldn't have expected less from the filly who saved up all year for that trip to Canterlot."
>All year? Wait, is she under the impression that WASN'T a spur of the moment thing?
>Well, being completely fair, most kids blow their allowance on candy, or save up for a month and blow it on a new toy.
>They don't usually have express train ticket money lying around.
>"Oh, don't act so aloof, Anonymous-" She says your name in an exaggerated (bad) Prench accent. "Pretend to be some pagan brigand all you want, you're a chivalrous type when it truly matters."
"What are-"
>You are drawn into a bone-crushing hug. When she finally releases you, Melilot draws an x across her chest. "You're doing godly work, my dear."
>The nun trots over to your front door, clears her throat once, and a line of filles files out from under your couch.
>Before she leaves, she fishes a 5-bit coin out of her bags and drops it on a table. "I AM sorry about eating your lunch, so let me buy a replacement. Don't try to refuse, Anon, I won't hear any of it."

>>43664396
>You follow out after the group, making sure nobody slips down your bitch of a hill.
>Sniff
>The blood on the air isn't thinning. But.. You recall ponies saying timber wolves make meat compost. So...
>Guess that all adds up?
>Your ancient horsebrain struggles, trying to bolt despite this perfectly logical conclusion, something like a vomit response to stench, but it's your legs trying to vomit speed.
>Only one thing to do: Let it wash over you, hold your ground...
>Gag
>That coppery scent is unpleasant, it'd be unpleasant even if you were still a monkey, but you pull through.
>Just hope Mootilda isn't part of that scent- you've never seen timber wolves attack anypony, actually, but knowing they can and will....
>To say nothing of what living in blood stank alley is gonna do to your rep. Not to mention it is genuinely taxing your willpower to function right now.
>Shit. This could be a problem, you need to tell her not to-
>Heavy steps. Cowbell. Drip, drip, drip-
>Mootilda, looking very unhappy, and covered in rancid viscera, practically crawls out of the woods. No timber wolf in sight, but-
>Wait. She's covered in blood! Way too much blood to be from that dead pig she had tied to her waist! And you're just standing here!
"Holy shit! What the HELL happened to you!?" You call out, running to her side- "Are you alrIHIUAAAAAAGH GODDAMN YOU STINK."
>"Well, ya knooow how they say the pretty gals gotta beat boys off with a stick?"
"Uh..."
>"Well, REAL heifers gotta beat 'em off with a sponge!" She says all that with the blank neutrality of Maud Pie on mood stabilizers, leaving you extremely confused.
"I don't-"
>"Jokes aside, that bull was also dumb enough to try mounting a timber wolf."
"Oh."
>
>
>Mootilda slowly scans your house. "Shit, I don't think I'd even fit in your door, would I?"
"Probably not easily, and I don't think my shower could-"
>"Nah, every drain in Ponyville is designed to survive a foal crapping in the tub, it could handle some blood. Not that it ain't a mooooot point."
"...I was gonna say 'fit.' 'I don't think my shower could fit you.'"
>"Oh. Oop." There's the shifty-eyes again.
"Lemme get ahead of that- ya hang out with the sewer ponies, they talk a lot."
>"Uh, yeah, that's what we're going with..." She seems too mortified to sweat and glance all around, at least. "Uh.. thank that wolf for me, would ya? I ain't due for another calf for 2 years, don't need my physique too ruined to do the dirty jobs!"
>The cloud of copper-stank and possible bull sweat leaves the area, though it lingers in your nostrils for several minutes
>Same as the question: fuck did she mean 'scheduled for another calf'?
>And the follow-up: How in the goddamn are you ever gonna ask about that politely?

File: anon mare talent.png (49 KB, 1233x871)

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Drew another pic for Miss /mlp/ on the off chance we beat Floorb

>>43665129
ver nice

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Holy shit that was close...
The results are as I thought, Floorb for Best OC, Anonmare barely making it through to the final for Most Autistic.

>>43664958
i like how you make cattle semi-slaves or second class citizens, i've always headcannoned that. it kinda reflects how the show paints them

>>43665715
While cows aren't full citizens with voting rights (at least nationally, they can vote in town-level elections, which is a big reason why Mayor Mare was suddenly able to oust a long-running, heavily entrenched incumbent mayor), they're not slaves. They're more akin to medieval peasants- not serfs, peasants. Peasants have the *right* to live on the land, albeit with an obligation to pay rent in some form or another. The herd on Sweet Apple Acres was bonded to the original farmstead Granny Smith's parents settled, though as time went on the restrictions got loosened, hence them being able to shop around for a better landlord if Granny didn't start fixing shit.

Also cows in this AU have extreme sexual dimorphism and are believed to have been engineered as a servant species; bulls are more common than heifers by far, and are fundamentally retarded and short-lived, used as expendable mining and hauling labor by anyone who has access to them, because all they can physically care about is taking orders from the biggest female they know and keeping an eye out for any breedable females in their spare time.
The differences in brain capacity and lifespan run so deep that heifers have difficulty forming emotional bonds with males of other species; Mooriel has had over a dozen sons and she sees (saw) them the same way we see farm animals meant for slaughter. Except in the spring time, then the bulls become a self-propelled hitachi wand that gets you pregnant.
They know, intellectually, that ponies don't work like this and their males and females are roughly equal in terms of emotions and brainpower, but they're just not able to get over that instinctual callousness.
This isn't a secret, either. It's a matter of public record, there are laws and education dedicated to mitigating the dangers of moving groups of bulls around (big reason why the cows waited until the end of fall to migrate to their new barn) and stallions in towns with cow populations quickly learn not to take their cold shoulder treatment personally. The one part that is kept secret is how often cows end up 'conveniently' supplying leather to various craftsponies (don't worry, it's mostly pig leather, cows feel weird about selling bulls for meat and skin. Because bulls are supposed to die in collapsing tunnels, or of a heart attack during sex, not a captive bolt gun.)

I swear this is weird xenofiction and not any kind of political statement or satire

TLDR: While most species in Equestria don't have the right to vote (or necessarily even own land, in some jurisdictions), cows are unique in that they just don't give a shit because their minds operate on a different wavelength. They like selling milk because they're pregnant all the time anyway, they're pregnant all the time because their males just dig and fuck and dig and fuck. Might as well have a side hustle when the brat's weaned.

8

>>43666510

>>43666510