>>43658472
Continue since 3000 limit was hit

Ilktone:
https://ponepaste.org/11775 - Hearts in Flight (Rarity)

Guest (Default ponepaste account):
https://ponepaste.org/10884 - Danger Zone (Cloud Chaser)
https://ponepaste.org/11685 - Anon has bad start and becomes a Villain

>>43658299
>are you saying that the correct cutiemark should have appeared from the spell
no, I'm saying the opposite.
>but was substituted with this self-destructive mark instead
that's what I think the perp is doing to conceal the true fate of AD's CM.
>the spell was going to generate an exact replica of our real cutiemark
you missed again.
the "make the cutie mark show up" spell can't make the /REAL/ cutie mark appear. a fake mark will always be different from the real one.

>>43658351
it sure looks like it's /an/ anon, but I'm not sure about it being /our/ anon. there's only one problem with that, tho, and that's the question I raised in an earlier post: How would a human, from our world, be able to even find his way into Equestria? there's no magic in our world. a portal has to first be opened from the Equestria side. and the Equestrian doing it has to know exactly what they're doing in order to make contact with a particular someone in our world.
with this in mind, I do believe that Discord is at least in on it. we literally see him open a portal between Equestria and his own chaos realm more than once in FIM. but does that mean he's the only one who can tear open a portal between worlds? if yes, that means he initiated first contact with someone from our world. would that someone just happen to be an Anon from /mlp/ who has a desire to mastermind a scheme involving Discord and other villains?

these questions need answers, and I'm lookin forward to seeing how WIngedAnon will deliver. only time will tell, I guess.

>>43658528
There are other portals that exist. It's how the breezies get home.

>>43658472
this pic is pretty cringe ngl

>>43658547
isn't that a very specific portal tho, an is it has a specific fixed destination?

>>43658549
It's cringe because he's not holding Spitfire, obviously

File: momma.jpg (38 KB, 400x390)

38 KB JPG

>>43658488

>>43658528
Ok then, that would mean that the spell does NOT specifically target anon's CM. It targets any CM on anon. Yes? Under this interpretation?

>>43650208
>Be Cadance again.
>After breakfast, and a tearful goodbye to Twilight and the others, it was time to get to work.
>Step one: calm the populace.
>Gotta let the ponies know that you're going to help them.
>Right now they're glad you destroyed Sombra, but they don't really know what you're like beyond that.
>And it's time to show them the real you.
"I'm thinking something intimate, a small podium in the middle of the square, then I'll be able to mingle a little bit before I leave."
>"They'll love that, sweetie!"
>You give Shiny a quick nuzzle.
>The two of you are adorably curled up together in a pile of blankets and pillows in the middle of the otherwise empty throne room.
>There's presently only one throne of course, and you were certainly not going to sit upon one without your extremely handsome co-ruler beside you.
>So the two of you grabbed some chairs, which were horridly uncomfortable, then one thing led to another, and now you're in a very foalish pillow fort.
"Oh, I hope so. Would you mind taking a look at the notes I have for my speech?"
>"Of course I will!"
>He pouts at the paper.
>"Hmm. Split infinitive there. Misspelled 'harmonious'. Semi-colon there would be better."
"Shiny! Don't nitpick!"
>"You asked the stallion who used to proofread Twilight Sparkle's homework for help, what did you expect?"
>An unfortunately familiar sizzle of malevolent flame interrupts you and a panting unicorn covered in snow appears next to a huge sphere of dark crystal.
>"Your... Exceptionality... I... hah... I..."
"Vizier Anon? You look like you can barely stand, what's the matter?"
>"I... finally... found our Royal Financier."
>He sets the ball of crystal down with a donk, and opens it to reveal the wide eyes of a trapped and gagged pony.
>"Had to... chase him into the mountains... Fucking pegasi and their weather bullshit."
"Anon! We talked about this!"
>"No foalnapping, yes, yes, but you must understand your Pinkitude, by abandoning his post in the middle of war, he has committed high treason, as well as grand theft-"
"Yeah yeah, just boop him already."
>"Right."
>One act of justice later, the scared pony quivers before you.
>Anon shakes the melting snow out of his mane, then looks around the room, jumping a bit when he spots the massive throne.
>"Oh no. You didn't sit on that thing, did you?"
"No. Why, would that be somehow against the rules?"
>"Not at all. It's just... well, you don't know what a blacklight is, do you?"
"What?"
>"Nothing. But, um, you probably don't want to touch that until I've gotten a chance to sterilize it. With lots of fire. Just... trust me on this."
"Right."

>>43658972
>You turn your attention back to the scared pegasus.
"Hey there. My name's Cadance, and this is Shining Armor. What's yours?"
>"M-M-Mint Gold, your Majesness. I mean your Highnesty."
"It's nice to meet you, Mint Gold. I hear you used to help run things here when that nasty Sombra was in charge. Well, I promise I'm not going to force you to do anything you don't want to do, but I'd really appreciate if you could come back and work for my husband and I. I'm sure the Kingdom would benefit a lot from your expertise!"
>"Y-You're making me ch-choose? Oh no, this is a trick. It has to be? Oh what do I do?"
"I promise it isn't-"
>"I can't, I-I-I-I..."
>Oh, he's having a really rough time of it.
>Wait...
>This is the perfect chance to do a test run of your speech!
>You snatch the papers from Shiny and start to read.
"My dear ponies, um, pony, I know that you are scared and confused by the sudden changes..."
>You feel something magical happen as you read.
>Your voice feels different, flowing like magic.
>All the crystal in the room starts to look more... crystally.
>This must be the power of an alicorn Princess, the same magics that allow Celestia and Luna to inspire crowds of ponies with their mere presence!
"...and so, my promise to you is to build a new Crystal Empire, one founded on the virtues of patience and mercy, where ponies can..."
>Shining is staring at you with stunned adoration.
>Even Anon is wide-eyed and open-mouthed.
"...with love instead of hate, peace instead of conflict..."
>They're really into it now.
>Every trace of fear from Mint Gold has vanished.
"...for the well-being of every citizen, and I hope you may come to see me as not just a ruler, but as a friend!"
>The words end, and the spell breaks.
>Three ponies stare at you in awe, and you awkwardly shift in place.
>"I'll do it!"
>Mint Gold shouts and bows before you.
>"I'll be glad to oversee this Kingdom's economy once again! I won't ever let you down!"
>He rushes out of the throne room.
>Anon shakes himself out of the stupor.
>"My goodness, that was quite something, oh Sonorous One! I even felt my cold dead heart swell in joy upon hearing your words."
"Thank you, Anon. It's still a work in progress, but I had hoped to present it to the public today."
>"Oh, but of course. We'll need to alert the Royal Herald, he'll have the entire populace gathered for your proclamations!"
"Actually, I was hoping for a more casual setting..."
>"Absolutely not. Your words deserve nothing less than to ring out from the balcony upon a sea of listeners!"
>You sigh.
"That's really not what I-"
>"Actually honey, I think I agree."
"Shiny?"
>Your husband hugs you.
>"That was... magical! And I think as many ponies should hear it as possible."

>>43658974
>"Absolutely your Humbleness. And, might I add, it will project a much-needed display of strength. You are here not just to help ponies, but protect them. They are scared that the Ex-King may return. Showing your beauticious self from the splendor of the castle as he once did shall prove definitively that things have changed for the better!"
"Well... alright! Yeah, let's do this!"
>It's a teensy bit terrifying, but you're a Princess now!
>You should be absolutely ready for this!
>Shining laughs and claps his hooves in delight.
>You laugh as well, and the two of you nearly collapse again in a giggle fit.
"Alright, alright. By the way Anon, with the Financier back that should mean we have a complete court again, yes?"
>"Indeed, all the most important ponies have returned to their duties. There are still a few outstanding absences, I'm afraid: the Royal Butler, the Royal Blacksmith, a few minor pages, you still don't have a harem but I'm letting that one drop for now, oh, and the Royal Lion Tamer has vanished as well but since we've never even had a lion I think we can just remove that position altogether."
"Good. Schedule a meeting after my speech. I'll need you to advise me on the itinerary. What would you say are the main concerns of the Kingdom at the moment?"
>"There are always problems, your Pragmaticness, but right now there is only one task that I would consider to be absolutely essential. I fear that if we don't act soon, there could be severe consequences."
"Oh dear. What is it? Food? Housing? Disease?"
>"We need to build up our military."
"We... what?"
>"The army and navy. We need to recruit strong ponies willing to fight and die for the Empire. As soon as possible."
>You cradle your head in a wing.
"How... how is the MILITARY our biggest problem right now? I thought that would be the one thing that Sombra would've made sure to keep fully operational!"
>"He did, in his own way. Which mainly consisted of foalnapping ponies and stuffing them into armour that brainwashed them into obedient drones that would kill and be killed upon demand. With your Radicalness's 'no slaves' policy in full effect, we have lost virtually all of our soldiers. We still have General Meat Grinder and Admiral Watery Grave to command the ponies that aren't here anymore, though! And don't worry, they're not going anywhere. Those two really love their jobs. Like, a lot."
>Shining rubs your neck affectionately.
>"Don't worry, hun. This is something I can handle. Vizier, I'll be assuming command over our armed forces, effective immediately. Tell General Grinder and Admiral Grave that I want to meet them in the war room as soon as we're finished here."
>Anon nods obediently, but his gaze slides over to meet yours with a slightly raised eyebrow.
>You nod, and he relaxes.

>>43658978
>"Excellent sir, that will be a great help. If the Royal Consort is able to also assume the duties of a Grand Marshal, that will greatly simplify the chain of command. I'll arrange the meeting. And might I suggest... a line or two in your Nicety's speech encouraging ponies to enlist would certainly go a long way to help relieve this crisis."
"You want me to..."
>You feel your face fall in shock.
"My speech is about love, an end to violence, and how these ponies should not have to fear for their lives anymore. And in the middle of that you want me to ask them to sign up as SOLDIERS?"
>"Your Wiseness, this is a difficult time-"
"No, absolutely not. Shining Armor will form an appropriately-sized military in due course, and in the meantime I'm sure our combined magic will be more than enough to handle any threat to the Empire. I will not allow my first introduction to these ponies to be a recruitment drive."
>Shining nods.
>"Don't worry my love, I can handle that side of things. You should focus on making these ponies feel safe."
>"But they're not safe."
>The Vizier looks between you and your husband with a cold glare.
>"Just because Sombra's gone, that doesn't mean that these ponies are safe."
>Shining glares back.
>"You think we don't know that? Of course there are dangers, but what these ponies need now more than anything is hope. They need to believe that their Princess is there to protect them, not the other way around. The last thing they need are reminders of war."
>The Vizier is looking directly at you now.
>"And I think your Benevolence is misunderstanding what 'hope' means in the Crystal Empire. You have the magical power to ward off the big threats, just as the Ex-King did, but that doesn't mean much for many of our citizens. We're in the North. Lost ponies get attacked by ursas or rocs all the time. Even the occasional dragon. We also share a border with Yakyakistan, and the yaks have a very long history of using violence as the first and only solution to even the tiniest dispute. And those are just the external threats. When your Awesomeness shielded our capital from the Ex-King's attack, you saved many lives, but there were many others that were lost in that terrible storm. Our lands may seem small compared to Equestria, but we are still an Empire, comprised of many subtly different cultures, holding countless ancient grudges. If our agrarian territories attempt to secede, this city will starve. If our ports close, the economy will collapse. A military is needed assure ponies that the Empire is still intact and will continue to operate better than ever. Boots on the ground, not a Princess in a faraway castle."

>>43658981
>You open your mouth to speak, but the Vizier doesn't stop.
>"Even within the city there is danger. Right now ponies are joyously celebrating their freedom, but it is the calm before the storm. There are many ponies who have committed various atrocities in order to gain favour with the Ex-King. They now fear retribution against themselves and their families, and not without cause. My efforts at policing last night were enough to stop celebrations from turning into riots, but that urge is spreading. When ponies spend their whole lives with a boot pressing on their necks, they don't know how to live without it. Last night a group of foals asked me if 'freedom' meant they didn't have to go to school tomorrow. I stopped another group from starting a bonfire in the middle of the market square. Where the extremely flammable stalls are. In Equestria, 'hope' means wanting a Princess to take care of the big problems so that they can be left alone to manage their own lives, because they know how to take care of themselves. In the Empire, 'hope' is trusting in the Monarch to control everything that could possibly go wrong, because they don't know how to get by without the comforting power of authority. We need to restore that authority. Patrols in the city and the territories. Formed from ponies who are dedicated to the same noble values as our Empress, not opportunists looking for a chance to bully others. And in order to get those numbers, we need your help, your Grace. My apologizes to the Royal Consort, but as far as the Empire is concerned, there is only one pony that they'll truly listen to right now, one pony who will inspire enough to make a difference."
>The Vizier blinks and his expression abruptly loses its edge.
>"You know, or whatever. Of course, it's entirely up to you, your Singularity."
>You exchange a long look with Shining.
>Then you gather up your notes.
"I'll see what I can do."
>"An excellent choice, your Loquaciousness. Now if you'll excuse me, I believe I need to take a quick bath. I can still feel the effects from that inspiring speech. All those warm tingles seem to be causing me to care about other ponies, and I think a good soak will help me get rid of this affliction."
>He poofs away, and it almost looks his signature burning darkness is slightly less disturbing this time.
>You can't help but smile.
"Thank you, Anon."

sorry for the wall, that took a lot more words than I thought it would

>>43658988
Excellent green Vizier. Don't worry about it being a wall.

>>43658988
>expecting anons will dislike moar green
Nigga, are you retarded? Keep up the good work, faget. We want moar of Vizier's cynical bullshit and antics keeping the naive ponies in check.

>>43658988
Pretty good. I can not wait until Anon cucks Shining Armor.

>>43659232
I have doubts that vizier anon has a functioning penis given his role as sombra's scheming eunuch advisor

Preunification earth pony Anon returns after 1000 years (got stuck in stone by cockatrice) and sees alicorns as a unholy alliance/marriage between the unicorns and pegasus kingdoms. Tries in vain to kickstart an earth pony revolution to free them from the shackels of the "royal abominations that even science can't explain". Any attempts to explain how important the pricesses are to raising the sun and moon are swiftly reminded that "it wasnt like that in my day". He never fell to the unicorn propaganda about them raising the sun and he sure wont fall for it now.

>>43659248
>eunuch
When was that mentioned?

>>43659232
So far for possible love interests it's
Twilight
Luna
maybe Moondancer
Cadence

>>43659276
>Twilight
>Cadance
I think it would be a nice bit of irony if the Princess of Love™ showed Anon the warmth of friendship while the Princess of Friendship™ showed him the beauty of love.

>>43659276
>pathetic people who have been abused until they internalized their inability to produce a correct answer need a good firm hand
Newly freed mindcontrol soldier

>>43658988
Have you thought about posting your story to ponepaste? With the split from the old thread it can help new readers when it eventually goes down. Definitely been fun to read and I like the speech Anon gives at the end in regards to the empires threats.

>>43659456
>posting your story to ponepaste
Seconding this. Archiving stuff is always a good idea.

>>43659456
>>43659844
3rd

>>43659276
am /moon/fag, me votes Luna. I imagine that after Candy informs her and Sunhorse of the vizier's lack of control, the two of them make a visit to the crystal empire to see for themselves, maybe Candy would make him apologize for fighting them (tho it would be a half apology at best, since, you know) and Luna might try her hoof at helping Anon break free of the geas... I can't think of a reason why she would do that, tho, as her schtik is being subtle by not having nearly as much presence as her sister.

>>43658988
don't apologize, you put a smile on this anon's face in the morning.

>>43659891 (cont.)
I forgot to add the 2nd option if things don't work out between Vizier Anon and Luna: Twilight. while it's true that she'd get frustrated long before she'd feel any positive feelings about Vizzy, I imagine she would refuse to admit defeat. and in her efforts, she would /eventually/ end up feeling something for him.

>>43656370
>You stand outside of the medic room in the hallway with Dash.
>Staring down at the floor, you think about everything.
>Why your cutie mark?
>This guy must be magically powerful, able to throw people back in time.
>Why doesn't he go back in time and win?
>"Anon?"
>Slowly look up to Dash, guess you look really down.
>She takes your chin with your hoof.
>"Don't worry about it champ. We'll figure this out."
>Nod halfheartedly.
>"Anything you want to do right now? School work?"
"Can we go outside into the barracks yard?"
>"You're not allowed to do any physical exercise."
"I think I just want to watch you fly."
>Dash's face softens, then a smirk forms.
>"All right. I got a few tricks that should wow you."
"You've shown me everything you can do."
>"Don't doubt your mother, squirt. Come on."
>Nice thing about being a pegasus, windows are also doors.
>Both of you slip outside and fly to where all the soldiers are training.
>Most stop and say hello to you both.
>"Time to be amazed! Here I go."
>In a blink of an eye, if not faster, Rainbow zooms straight up.
>She must have been filled with anxious energy because she goes to do some slick g-force defying tricks.
>As always, it's awe-inspiring.
>Reminds you just how cool she is.
>Several ponies stop to watch her replicate several Wonderbolt solo maneuvers.
>Cheering encourages her to go faster, be more daring.
>Gives you time to think.
>Pony of Shadows, where does he fit into all this?
>He said he was a piece, that seems to be a clue.
>How can a piece of him exist in whatever future you come from?
>Pony of Shadows was destroyed.
>Someone might be pretending to be him.
>To take advantage of your knowledge?
>He was trying to manipulate you to be a host until he got the real PoS.
>Someone from the future is trying to bring that guy back.
>Can't be an evil Discord.
>He would just break himself out with a human so much earlier.
>Wait, there is another factor.
>How did your mystery foe make sure you were born to Rainbow Dash?
>Look up as Dash goes high into the sky.
>She is trying to do a Sonic Rainboom?
>Dash picks up speed, an air cone forms around her.
>Guards around you hold their breath, waiting to see what happens next.
>There is a calm aura around her.
>No teeth gritting, no over straining, just focus.
>She's getting close to the precipice.
>Then she stops, flares out her wings and slows her descent.
>Well that was a tease.
>As she zooms close by you call out to her.
"Oh come on! Why did you not do the Sonic Rainboom?"
>Hear her laugh.
>"Not at the castle! You want me to freak out everypony?"
>"What's that kiddo?"
>Several of the guards ask you as Rainbow goes back to tricks.
"Only the most awesome maneuver my mom can do. She can go so fast she makes a rainbow shockwave!"
>"Aw dang, really!? Now I want to see that."
"So do I random guard stallion."
>"Silver Pike."
"Like the fish?"
>He deadpans as he shakes his spear at you.
>Some of the guards chuckle as they watch Dash.
>Return to watch her too.

>>43660015
>no SRB
aw((
>"Like the fish?"
kek))
good green as always.

>>43660015
>random guard stallion
Damn it, that guy.

>>43658988
>Now if you'll excuse me, I believe I need to take a quick bath. I can still feel the effects from that inspiring speech. All those warm tingles seem to be causing me to care about other ponies, and I think a good soak will help me get rid of this affliction."
kek, still a shit who hates nice things

>>43659232
Meh. Never been a fan of cucking.

Small sequel to that Flurry Heart alcohol green. Anon looking after Flurry seems pretty funny.
>Be the purple menace spawned from Cadence's loins
Hey uncle Anon!
>"Don't call me that."
I need to write a report on the Crystal Empire's slave uprisings during Sombra's rule! Can you help me since you're like super old and lived back then?
>"Uprisings? I don't remember any uprisings. And if they did happen they had it coming. But I have exactly what you need to write the best report possible!"
>Anon pulls out book titled "The True History of the Crystal Empire." -- Written and Edited by Vizier Anonymous
>There was a heroic looking Sombra on the front cover
>In the corner there was a small stamp that read "Fact checked by real Crystal Pony Patriots"
>"Sombra asked me to write this."
I don't know uncle, it doesn't seem very objective.
>"Really now? And what about the swimming pools in the dungeons?"
You said that that you tied weights around ponies' hooves and threw them in
>"What, did they not invent fun in Crap-questria yet? Kids in the Empire love it, we can try it sometime!"

>>43659456
>>43659844
>>43659891
It is up now: https://ponepaste.org/12216

>>43660626
Me either.

>>43661383
... aaand into the librewolf bookmarks you go.

>>43660015
>So how do you ask her?
>"Okay Anon, I'm ready!"
>Start bouncing on the cloud to let the rain out on Rainbow.
>"Woooo, that's cold! Good stuff, keep it up!"
>Sweat from her intense workout washes off quickly, don't know about the stank.
>Just being blunt might be the way to go.
>Not really a way to sneak it out of her.
>Maybe you can ask Zephyr.
>Was Fluttershy there that day?
>You're pretty sure she was.
>"That should be good!"
>Stop bouncing and float down to her.
>After she stops shaking, you don't need to be in the splash zone.
>Give her the towel.
>"Thanks. That felt great! Wish I was doing that sooner. Plenty of space on the training grounds."
"Yeah, but you usually have to share the space with the guards."
>"Yeah, true."
>Dash is rubbing the towel behind her ears.
>"Now then, what were you thinking about? Don't deny it. I noticed you were thinking while I trained."
>Yeah, yeah good perception when you're working out.
"How did the accident happen? The one that led to me being born."
>Her wings twitch, ears twist towards you while remaining rigid, all the while she's trying to look away and act cool.
>"Blah, way to throw me off. You already read me. What's with the weird question?"
>Before you can answer, she throws up a wing to silence you.
>"No wait, I think I can put this all together. You're not the only one who has a noggin."
>Well this is going to be interesting.
>Stretching out her hind legs to help cool down.
>Raise an eyebrow as you wait for her.
>Cracking her shoulders, she whips out her wing and pulls you in.
>Almost squeak with surprise.
>She flicks one of her feathers off your nose making you twinge.
>"You think you shouldn't be here."
>Dash has a serious face, but she's keeping caged in her embrace.
>"All that vision nonsense. You now think that jerk-wad made sure you were born."
>Well she's not holding the idiot ball.
"Then how did the accident happen?"
>"Well no crazy wizard shot me that's for sure."
>Flashback to Starlight Glimmer doing just that.
>"Doing a trick, like usual. Wasn't paying attention and ran into a dude and fell down. Look Anon, it was pure random chance."
>She flew into someone.
"Who did you crash into?"
>"I dunno. Just a stallion flying by. Anon, you're letting your imagination run wild."
>You're not so sure about that.
>Well if you want to ask Zephyr, you better do it soon.
>That was a long time ago, you'll be surprised if any of them remember the stallion.
>Also a chance he is just a red herring.
>A kiss on the forehead breaks your inner thoughts.
>"Thinking way too hard about this. All that sugar and no exercise is making you stir crazy."
"Probably. Not going to get easier the longer I sit."
>"Grin and bear it, Anon. Doctor might be an egghead, but he knows what he's talking about."
>Hopefully Zephyr won't have a heart attack when you ask him about the time he got to come inside Rainbow Dash.
>"All right, I'm dry enough. Let's see what the rest of the family are doing."

>>43661608
>crash and get a concussion
>decide letting Zephyr come inside is a good idea
sounds about right

>>43661608
I guess zephyr took care of her during recovery and the condom failed but they didnt notice until it was too late?
The interloper mustve wanted someone who was close to the events of the show (dash's son) but also easier to manipulate (a human or zephyr's son). As usual the villain wasnt counting on friendship, unless he was and the cutie mark thing is plan b. It could aslo be the result of bringing our anon's soul into equestria, unless...
Does anyone remember if dashnon was hit by black magic or anything?
Maybe the PoS took away the cutie mark with it?

>>43661608
Well, that was an interesting discussion for sure.

I believe in all anonstallions

>>43658988
>The massive crowd roars in joy.
>Be overwhelmed Cadance.
>You breathe a sigh of relief.
>The speech went well.
>It was easier than you expected to mention the critical need for military volunteers.
>Once you reminded yourself that Shiny would do his utmost to keep everypony under his command safe and sound, you were able to hush those inner doubts.
>You spoke simply and to the point; telling ponies that their help was needed to maintain peace and safety.
>It seemed to go over well.
>You don't know that you'll ever get used to the adoring crowd, though.
>Even your wedding wasn't this intense; it's very different when you have to actually talk instead of just smiling and nodding the whole time.
>Deep breaths.
>Spinel and Quartz, two of the castle servants, cheerfully guide you away from the balcony and towards a table set up with some hot tea and veggies.
>They're very thoughtful, you're considering promoting them to be your ladies-in-waiting.
>"Now, you do have an appointment with the Royal Council in a few minutes, but you make sure to eat up and take a breather after that excellent job, your Grace."
>"If you need a quick rest, Quartz and I would be happy to give the Council a suitable excuse."
>Yeah, they're pretty great.
"Thank you girls, but I feel fine. I'd like to get to that meeting as soon as possible, I think I'm on a roll today!"
>"As you wish, follow us please."
>They guide you down gleaming halls, and eventually you arrive at a sinister door.
>"This chamber is where the former King did most of his daily plotting and scheming."
>"We took the liberty of adding a few throw pillows and incense to replace the smell of blood and brimstone with some lavender and bergamot!"
>"The Vizier has likely gathered the council of advisors already. We can announce your arrival whenever you're ready."
>"Just ring the bell inside if you require any refreshments or amusements during the meeting."
"Amusements?"
>"I'm afraid the castle is fresh out of concubines and orphans, but we could rustle up a sad clown if you wish!"
"Thank you girls, but that won't be necessary, and neither will a formal introduction. I'm sure you have plenty to do already, please don't worry about me."
>They leave after a quick curtsy, and you take another deep breath.
>Even though you're their boss, it's still a touch intimidating to meet the ponies who actually run the country.
>But at least there will be a few friendly faces inside.
>You enter without additional hesitation, and are immediately greeted with various sorts of bowing and scraping.
>"Your Royalosity! We are graced with your presence!"
"Thanks, Anon. But if it's alright with everypony, I'd like to forego the etiqutte while we're here. We're all going to be working very closely together, so let's try to keep things friendly and comfortable."
>"Of course Highest One. If you please, this is your seat."

>>43662959
>The dark room is dominated by a large round table with a dozen chairs placed around it.
>Yours is significantly fancier than the rest, but you'll let that slide for now.
>You take a seat and are immediately grateful for the aforementioned pillows giving you a bit of extra cushioning.
>Shining is already seated to your immediate right and you give him a warm smile.
>Vizier Anonymous is on your left, and he clears his throat as you make yourself comfortable.
>"Well then, before we get into it, I believe some introductions are in order. Your Gloriousness is already acquainted with myself and the Royal Financier."
>He gestures to Mint Gold, seated at the other side from you.
>It's a bit hard to see him due to the stripper's pole located in the center of the table, but you give him a friendly wave.
>"Lord Gold is responsible for directly managing the Royal Treasury, as well as overseeing the Kingdom's economy and intervening when necessary."
>"Without the King around, m-my job should be much easier! I-It's nearly been twenty-four hours since y-your Grace assumed power and y-you haven't made any major personal purchases yet!"
"It's good to see you again. And just let me know if there's anything that you need."
>Mint Gold blushes, his wings shifting in mild embarrassment.
>"Oh... th-thank you."
>"Ah, yergreashazreddychahmdaflappazoffadiswonear."
>You blink in shock at the garbled noise coming from an extremely large and old earth pony to your right.
"I'm... sorry?"
>"Ah yes, your Worthiness, this is Lord Apple Junior. I believe he said 'Your Grace has already charmed the flappers off of this one here.'"
>"Ah, datswaddaisedolroight."
>"Lord Apple is our Royal Horticulturalist. It is his duty to oversee the Kingdom's farms and relationship with the wilderness, as well as act as the representative for all earth ponies within the Kingdom. You won't find a pony with more knowledge on growing things in the Empire, I assure you."
"Apple... Are you by any chance related to the Apple clan of Equestria?"
>"Sahwenmuhdearlilgrancohwenoffintakeshcha, igahdhisselaprahpahklanden?"
>"'So when my dear little grandcolt went off into Equestria, he got himself a proper clan then?'"
>"Oigessiasbinnathowzinyersnallferdaootsaidderz, plentatoimfermuhweeapplpoihta'avafeufoeso'isoan."
>"'I guess it has been a thousand years and all for the outsiders, plenty of time for my wee Apple Pie to have a few foals of his own.'"
>Huh, Apple Pie.
>You wonder if that means the Apples and the Pies are distantly related.
>Eh, it's not like anypony would ever be interested in that sort of obscure trivia anyway.
"Pleased to meet you, Lord Apple."
>"Bah, yuzkankahmehjoonya."

>>43662965
>"'You can call me Junior.' Next to Lord Apple is our Royal Weathermare: Lady Maple Leaf."
>"Aw don't be a keener now, yous can jus' forget 'boat the whole 'Lady' part an' jus' call me Maple, eh?"
>Maple gives you a friendly wing wave.
>"Lady Leaf leads a highly specialized weather team that are all trained for managing severe temperature conditions. What is it you call them, again?"
>"Oh, we're the 'Mounties', on account o' spendin' so much moare time up'n'aboat in the mountains there, y'know. The cold's not so bad neether, long as yous got a nice toque on, eh bud?"
>"Yes, the Mounties are also very capable rescue ponies who are taught how to handle the local wildlife."
>"Gotta know how to wrestle two or tree bairs if yous's goan' oat fer a rip in the snow there, eh?"
>"Similarly to Lord Apple, Lady Leaf is the representative for our pegasi. The last of our tribal ambassadors is our Royal Mage, Lord Immortal Shadow."
>The young unicorn in question gives you a brusque nod.
>Now this colt is far closer to what you'd expect an advisor to King Sombra to look like.
>His black mane falls over most of his face, but it still allows you to clearly see his eyepatch, as well as a large facial scar marring his blood-red fur.
>He might look intimidating if it wasn't for the small scraggle of hair on his chin that barely passed for a beard.
"Hello, Lord Shadow."
>"Heh. You're a powerful one. I can sense your ki."
>The effect of the crazed grin he shoots you is undercut by his squeaky juvenile voice crack.
"You're rather young for a court mage, I imagine you must be quite powerful as well!"
>"I was trained by the Black Master himself. The Darkness within me cannot be contained. He had hoped that I might learn to control it. But I'm often tempted to let it control me."
>Anon sighs.
>"His questionable style aside, he is incredibly knowledgable on the subject of dark magic, and we're very grateful to him for his work in providing magical conveniences throughout the land."
>"Providing indoor light and plumbing to the dumb cattle helps distract my mind from the constant agony of the inevitable Void."
>"Yes, very nice. Seated next to Lord Shadow is our Royal Herald. Lady Twitch Tube was responsible for gathering the crowd today for your Excellentness's speech, and will ensure that transcripts are published throughout all territories in the Empire."
"Oh, thank you very much for your work, Lady Tube!"
>"Just, like, Twitch is fine."
>Your young Herald is currently studying her reflection in a hoof-held mirror while her horn controls a rapidly scribbling quill.
>"And it was no biggie, your Grace is currently like super viral right now anyway. Total main character energy."

>>43662967
"Right, well, still. I am very impressed that you were able to amass such an audience under such short notice."
>"Oh that was easy since they're all totes scared of us still. Getting like six, seven hundred ponies together is easy, they really understood the assignment. Big S was really into that whole rule with fear angle, but in the future we're gonna have to do some giveaways or something to keep engagement up or we're cooked."
"That's, yeah. Alright. Good to meet you, Twitch."
>You don't want to be picky, but it would be nice if you could actually understand somepony else on your council besides your husband and the one pony that's magically compelled to be here.
>You glance to the other side of the table and spot a very normal-looking stallion.
"And who might you be?"
>The stallion lets out a yelp and goes rigid with fear.
>"Your Supremeness, this is Lord Fruit Fly, our Royal Spymaster."
>The stallion takes a deep breath.
>"Yes! That's me! I'm... Fruit Fly, the Spymaster! And... I'm an earth pony!"
>"Lord Fly is truly exceptional at his craft. He is a master of disguise, able to infiltrate any location and blend in seamlessly. Truly incredible work, I really don't know how he does it."
>"Oh, you know. Spy... stuff. Normal pony spy stuff."
>The very average and unremarkable stallion sweats nervously.
"Well I must admit, I wasn't expecting to have a Spymaster in my employ. After living in such a peaceful land as Equestria, all of this is a very big change."
>"CHANGE? NO, I'M NOT- I DIDN'T!"
>The stallion shouts before going rigid again and forcing a smile on his face.
>"I mean, um, don't worry, your Grace! I'll be sure to keep you informed of all important information my swar- my team and I are able to gather!"
"Thank you Lord Fly, I'm sure your service will be invaluable! I look forward to working with you."
>Fruit Fly relaxes, his smile becoming more natural.
>"I look forward to working with you too, your Grace. Your aura is delici- I mean, you're, um, beautiful. Your pony fur is very pretty!"
>Anon sniffs in contempt.
>"Alright, moving on, next to the Spymaster is our Royal Historian."
>An old earth pony mare nods politely at you.
"Oh my, I wasn't aware there were any ponies left who were knowledgable on the Kingdom's history!"
>"HA! There better not be! Not on mah watch!"
>"To be clear, Lady Iron Curtain is as responsible for preventing access to the Crystal Empire's history as she is for preserving it.
"Oh. Right. Well, I'm afraid that policy will have to be one that I immediately change."
>"CHANGE? WHAT? WHERE? WHO?"
"Nopoany's talkin' to you, eh?"
>"AHSHADDYUP, allyayoungins..."
>"All of you are like, so cringe. No cap."
>"ENOUGH!"
>Anon slams a hoof on the table.
>You notice many indents in that general area.

>>43662970
>"Revisiting the role of the Royal Historian is not on the agenda until after the discussion on the abolishment of public flaying, so let us continue with the introductions for now."
>The old mare grumbles.
>"Ol' Kingy never would've let these wishy-washy whippersnappers even consider allowin' commoners to read them tomes! Them filthy mud ponies will smear their muck all over the pages!"
"I'm sorry, but... mud ponies? Aren't you an earth pony yourself?"
"Ah'm a unicorn! Mah mammy and mah pappy were unicorns! Mah horn just ain't grown in all the way yet."
>"And since a basic biology lesson isn't on the agenda, we'll have to let that point rest for today. Seated next to the Royal Historian is our Royal Ambassador."
"That's just a big battleaxe that somepony put in a chair."
>"And that should also serve as an extensive summary of our Empire's foreign policy. Next, we have the Royal Researcher, responsible for scientific investigation and the development of new technologies that will benefit our great Empire."
>"Sup."
>You notice the pony on the other side of Anon for the first time, and slam your head into your hoof.
>Leaning towards Anon, you whisper in his ear.
"Alright, I know that things are done differently around here, but really? That is a foal. He should be in school. He should possibly still be in diapers."
>"Indeed. The position of Royal Researcher was created when General Meat Grinder was called to war against Equestria, and was unfortunately unable to find an adequate caregiver for his son."
>"I can hear you whispering about me, turbofag."
>"As a Lord, young Gear Grinder is entitled to room and board in the castle, as well as private tutors and other privileges befitting the Lord's tender age. In exchange, he lends us the fruits of his... unique creativity."
>You peer past Anon to see the Royal Researcher intently scribbling complex designs across several sheets of paper.
"What are you drawing there, kiddo?"
>"Your mom's pussy."
>"And finally, that brings us to a final introduction for the benefit of the rest of the council. As of this morning Lord Shining Armor, the new Royal Consort, has also assumed the responsibilities of a Grand Marshal by the will of Empress Cadance."
>Shining waves to the others, a shy smile on his face.
>"In effect, Lord Shining Armor shall be overseeing the creation of a new military, one that does not involve mind control or coersion of any kind."
>Iron Curtain seems greatly offended by that.
>"But all the soldiers LOVE those goggles with the little swirly patterns! Our dear King makes 'em himself!"
>"Made them. Past tense. And now they're gone. Entirely."
>Shining answered promptly and with authority.
>He's so sexy when he gets like that.
>You slyly rub his leg with your own underneath the table.

>>43662972
>Iron Curtain seems to reconsider.
>"Well, Ah guess it'll be a'ight if they got a fine-lookin' unicorn like yerself in charge. Pappy always said them glorious pure white unicorns such as yerself were the best sort, like that Celestyah and all them nobles. 'Course the poor King was the same as them, but he had that dreadful condition what turned his fur dark."
>"Darkness is not a condition, it's a way of life, a state of being, a madness th-"
>Anon coughs.
>"Yes, thank you Lord Shadow, Lady Curtain. Let's all try to stay on topic. Now once again, for those who missed it the first time, yes Lady Twitch I'm looking at you, Lord Shining Armor is both the Royal Consort in charge of managing her Granditude's harem, which presently consists of one pony, and of her Largeness's military, which presently consists of three ponies. I'm sure he will be able to handle these extraordinary responsibilities gracefully."
"And just to be clear, Shining is my husband. On paper he may just be Consort, but in practical matters he is my co-ruler and I expect you all to defer to his judgment."
>Shining brushes your leg affectionately.
>The others regard your husband with interest.
>"Wuddyalookitdasaizo'im? Howbiggayee? 'Eykids, howbiggizee? Betchakanbaxalil, kantchasir? Ah, yalooklaikaboxa!"
>"He's kinda giving like wholesome daddy vibes."
>"He certainly l-l-looks physic-c-cally impressive enough to lead an ar-ar-army. And do th-that other th-th-thing."
>"I'd love to steal his, um, I mean, base a disguise off of him."
>"Huh. He looks like a fag, but if he married up I guess that makes him an alpha."
>"Just make sure all of you remember that he is part of her Badassness's harem, so hooves off unless you want a flaying."
>You give Anon a glare.
>"Or a booping, whatever. Introductions over. Next on the agenda is Lord Gold's report. So how much exactly did this little coup cost us?"
>As the conversation turns to mundane detail, you glance at Shining out of the corner of your eye at the same moment he does the same to you.
>You smile.
>It's far from what you imagined, but this is everything you've always wanted.
>The love of your life by your side.
>A Kingdom full of ponies that you can help.
>And a beautiful home that only needs a little bit of sterilization.
>Really, it doesn't matter how eccentric your staff is.
>You're still living the dream.
>And no pony in the world can take that away from you now.
>"So i-i-in other words, we're c-c-completely b-b-b-b-broke."

>>43662972
>Iron Curtain seems to reconsider.
>"Well, Ah guess it'll be a'ight if they got a fine-lookin' unicorn like yerself in charge. Pappy always said them glorious pure white unicorns such as yerself were the best sort, like that Celestyah and all them nobles. 'Course the poor King was the same as them, but he had that dreadful condition what turned his fur dark."
>"Darkness is not a condition, it's a way of life, a state of being, a madness th-"
>Anon coughs.
>"Yes, thank you Lord Shadow, Lady Curtain. Let's all try to stay on topic. Now once again, for those who missed it the first time, yes Lady Twitch I'm looking at you, Lord Shining Armor is both the Royal Consort in charge of managing her Granditude's harem, which presently consists of one pony, and of her Largeness's military, which presently consists of three ponies. I'm sure he will be able to handle these extraordinary responsibilities gracefully."
"And just to be clear, Shining is my husband. On paper he may just be Consort, but in practical matters he is my co-ruler and I expect you all to defer to his judgment."
>Shining brushes your leg affectionately.
>The others regard your husband with interest.
>"Wuddyalookitdasaizo'im? Howbiggayee? 'Eykids, howbiggizee? Betchakanbaxalil, kantchasir? Ah, yalooklaikaboxa!"
>"He's kinda giving like wholesome daddy vibes."
>"He certainly l-l-looks physic-c-cally impressive enough to lead an ar-ar-army. And do th-that other th-th-thing."
>"I'd love to steal his, um, I mean, base a disguise off of him."
>"Huh. He looks like a fag, but if he married up I guess that makes him an alpha."
>"Just make sure all of you remember that he is part of her Badassness's harem, so hooves off unless you want a flaying."
>You give Anon a glare.
>"Or a booping, whatever. Introductions over. Next on the agenda is Lord Gold's report. So how much exactly did this little coup cost us?"
>As the conversation turns to mundane detail, you glance at Shining out of the corner of your eye at the same moment he does the same to you.
>You smile.
>It's far from what you imagined, but this is everything you've always wanted.
>The love of your life by your side.
>A Kingdom full of ponies that you can help.
>And a beautiful home that only needs a little bit of sterilization.
>Really, it doesn't matter how eccentric your staff is.
>You're still living the dream.
>And no pony in the world can take that away from you now.
>"So i-i-in other words, we're c-c-completely b-b-b-b-broke."

>>43662970
>sent on near suicide mission to infiltrate the crystal empire under Sombra
>presumably sussed out and put into spymaster job because it was funny
>time skipped a 1000 years into the future????
>entire species just got btfo by the empire's new ruler
This guy never had a chance

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>>43662959
>"I'm afraid the castle is fresh out of concubines and orphans
it's random lines like this that always get me

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>>43662974
>'Course the poor King was the same as them, but he had that dreadful condition what turned his fur dark
wait so Sombra was pony Uncle Ruckus?

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>>43662974
Sombra seemed like an edgy shitposter himself gone out of control.
>"That's just a big battleaxe that somepony put in a chair."
kek

>>43663134
Sadly Cadence accidently blew him up with love, the poor bug will be missed.

Hope to see the bug get more screen time. I can see the tension increasing over time as he has to manage the empires changeling population while not letting the ruler who just faught and won against tne current changeling queen find out. Considering they're 1000 years out of time I wonder if they are receptive to Chrysalis. If there was a different queen when the empire vanished than i could see a fragile counter hive form cause they dont recognize Chrysalis as 'their' queen. Wonder how that would effect Thorax when he arrives.

Now i have the mental image of a bunch of crystal changelings dog piling Chrysalis like how bees do to rejected queens.

>>43663005
What a bunch of colorful characters. Not sure why Sombra tolerated some of them, but he was a flamboyant faggot.

so, we've got
>a scotstallion with a very thick accent (at least that how I imagine him)
>a stereotypical canadian
>an edgelord
>a terminally online zoomare (zoomer mare)
>a millennial new-york-city type bimbo mixed with terminally online zoomare
>TOTALLY NOT A CHANGELING
>genderbent and ponified Joseph Stalin
>a literal inanimate object in the form of a weapon
>an Anon who's much more of the stereotypical Anon than Vizier Anon
this green is getting more and more kek by the post.

>>43663353
A weeby edgelord.

>>43663365
yeah, that somehow wooshed over my head.

>>43663178
What the hell is that pony?

>>43663425
Well the poster was talking about Uncle Ruckus.

>>43663425
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zZ1Q0OjcMcA

>>43662959
I see
I see it
without a word, covered in white face pant and big floppy shoes, pinkie mopes into the room
"huaaaaaaaaam"
She sighs sits near the corner, but not properly in it.

At some point, mind-conversation.
"I don't have a boooyfriiiend," she contributes.

When everyone else has left, she's still in the meeting room, flat on the floor, holding a baloon shaped like a puppy

>we're broke
Define broke. Sombra was a petty, taunting, dictator who, half the time, was too obsessed with dark crystals to even form sentences, and the empire was tiny enough he could spy on it personally if he wanted, at least enough to scare the masses. Lack of money wouldn't stop him, and having money wouldn't give you freedom from him.

If he can use reputation as a replacement for money while monopolizing grain, so can we, for just a moment.

>>43663005
>"So i-i-in other words, we're c-c-completely b-b-b-b-broke."
Take it up with Celestia. She's the one who decided to vassalize a broke, regressive hellhole in a frozen wasteland that's technologically and economically a thousand years behind. Let her foot the bill. Or supplement the workforce with an army of free undead laborers. Your choice, candy.

>>43662935
What about anoncolts?

>>43664232
they are anonstallions in the making.

>>43664223
The obvious solution is to raid Equestria for old times sake. But really, if a European medieval kingdom just displaced itself 1000 years into the future you'd have academics, historians, and nostalgic Princess who were also banished for a 1000 years banging down the door and paying out of their pockets for the opportunity to be among them.

>>43664223
I also forgot about corvee. Assuming the average crystal pony is so poor they can't pay tax or collecting tax isn't worth it then corvee is the only way to extract wealth from the population in the form of X days of labour owed to the government. I think Papua New Guinea still uses a form of this with their indigenous tribes when they want to build a road through a jungle and I think Rwanda does it because of their culture.

>>43663232
I wonder if Anon changeling guard is somewhere in Canterlot. He be dreading the long train ride when it’s Candy’s turn.

>>43661383
Thanks for putting it up!

>Created 22:22:22
Script gets are everywhere now...