Can't help you with time signatures because I also find them hard to understand, although I generally can recognize 4/4 even because it's probably ≥90% of what I listen to.
>I also can't detect what chords are playing in a song, and I have no sense of relative pitch. Nor an ability to reproduce pitches.
Do you play any instrument? That helps me a lot. I play guitar and always imagine the chords based on what I know I've already played in my guitar.
You have to really start from the basics; to learn the sound of a major chord, of a minor chord and then work knowing on top of that the sound of chords with other intervals added, like a major chord with a major sixth etc. Learn the names of all intervals, that's very basic and important. Then it will help you with having sense of relative pitch.
Reproducing pitches with an instrument is also a matter of training. Of calibrating the pitch, a lot by trial and error and guessing, until you finally hit resonance and notice "Hey! That's the note". With singing it's harder because our vocal strings which we use as an instrument can't just be tuned like a guitar, with tuning pegs, for example, and the sounds are not all ready for you to just play with the ease of a picking or a hitting, we have to make the effort ourselves to calibrate the tuning of the notes. But that of singing is probably another subject if you're talking more about playing an instrument (that's not your voice).
Keep going with your attempts/journey of making music. Not becoming a famous/rich/whatever musician is not necessarily the point of interest or achievement. If you just manage to get better in these things you mentioned in this text, you're already gonna have a lot more ease to make music you desire in general, and maybe, already, automatically and spontaneously, be doing some.

>>132043714
>I'll listen to any 4/4 song and not realize it's 4/4
you cant inherently notice a downbeat after a few bars? does instruments not all starting at 1 throw you off? i mean, i know zero(0) music theory, but i thought everyone inherently realizes a rhythm, given it's relatively simple
a lot of folk music is in odd time sigs.
like listen to a waltz in 3/4 and compare it to a techno track beat, work from the realization then

>>132043714
>I will conclude it is something crazy like 6/8 or 5/4 or additive meter. And I'll get the BPM way off, and not even in like a "multiple of the actual BPM" way
you're just a pseud NPC, your kind cant do creativity

>>132044198
I don't think so, I have a high-paying white collar job and have made some successful and popular creative projects. I just have some sort of issue with music and tracking it

>>132044180
I should've said "often". There are plenty of 4/4 songs where I can correctly identify it's 4/4. A simple straightforward techno track I will recognize as 4/4.

But there are plenty of others where I just mistake it as being something way more complex than 4/4. I will hear "4/4" and think "5/4 or 5/8 with shifting accents each measure". I have no idea why. I would link an example song but it'd just be embarrassing. I'm even listening to it right now and I still am hearing it as 5/4 despite knowing it must be 4/4.

>>132043988
I do know all those things in theory. Unfortunately knowing is very separate from hearing

I am certainly not going to give up, but it is annoying that I struggle with so many of the fundamentals

Post the song, i’m interested. I don’t recognize them well either

>>132044422
>I would link an example song but it'd just be embarrassing. I'm even listening to it right now and I still am hearing it as 5/4 despite knowing it must be 4/4.
I mean it's already embarassing, now I'm picturing you doing this with some disco track, so just post the track you're listening to

>>132044422
>I do know all those things in theory. Unfortunately knowing is very separate from hearing
>I am certainly not going to give up, but it is annoying that I struggle with so many of the fundamentals
Then I really think it's a matter of exhaustive training, anon