I used to love hiking.Today I went on one, usually it helps me soothe my mind and its a good place to be when things are down. I usually also take fun pictures and romanticize the whole trip, look carefully at the wildlife, plants, feel of the air, how the wind feels...I have come to a point where I felt none of those things, worst of all is that I still posted the pictures of me smiling and the view to instagram as if everything was so perfect and dandy. Pretending to be happy.I no longer feel anything for anything. Depression has hit me so deepy I get no satisfaction from anything and have no one to connect with about any sort of experiences I go through.I go to the gym everyday, count calories, do cardio, hike, have a job, take insane amounts of supplements, go to bed at a proper time. What the fuck is even the point anymore... When the things you used to do in order to cope, when nature is portrayed as this hail mary to mental illness or built up stress... When none of these things even work anymore. What does one do? What do you do anon? Have you ever felt like this?
>>2863765Would also like to mention. My birthday is this week. And I marked the whole week for vacation to do something but turns out its gonna rain the whole week too
Hiking wont fix this though anon. Have you thought about why you feel this way anon? Maybe you could rent a cabin (preferably with no running water or electricity) in your vaycay to think about it. Rainy weather is quite calming imo. Take a journal, and maybe a book, perhaps something else you would like to learn/fiddle with. And just think about things. Or maybe spending time with family on your special day would be better?https://youtu.be/xyg3VUrevbA?si=8mVWuyiQJeHcQwz_
Try something new. Breaking habits and making changes has always helped me escape a depressive spiral. Micro dose mushrooms if they're legal in your state/country. I hate addicts and am generally against drugs but it really does work. Just one gummy won't get you high but does wonders for mood.
You're doing all these things for other people, you need to do them for yourself. It's obvious you're 'keeping up with the jones' too hard here, you think you have to do all these things because it's what you're 'supposed' to do.You need to find an entirely new life it sounds like. You've been living the life of someone else, probably your mom or your favorite teacher, for however long you've been an adult.
>>2863774Sounds nice but am sort of fed up with more isolation to be honest. I do think journalling would come in helpful.>>2863780Ive heard shrooms help in this sense, do you have any anecdotes?>>2863796I agree. With the not living my own life, with the doing what "I'm supposed to". With the finding a new life. I think you're spot on.I also think whats keeping me from doing that is the money that would be needed. To move out, new clothes (or atleast a new environment/room/etc..), another job, country, etc... I would love to move to another place but it would be really taxing on my finances... Which is really sad to know that we built a society where someone would ever say this lmao. Do you also have any anecdotes? Have you gone through something similar? How do you cope, how do you reinvent yourself and find new interests? You have traits inherent to yourself, I cant lose those and they will always keep me sort of attached to atleast part of the "who" that I was before. What is the way torwards achieving this?
>>2863807I haven't tested microdoses, but had a dozen "normal" trips. AFAIK microdoses are for a subtle changes in neurochemistry, average doses are for a trip, 5 hours of psychic and sensorial modifications.Without specific themes or details it would be :>Omg the world is so mysterious and beautiful in such complex ways>feel amazed for a few days, some life lessons may appear tooor>Omg this is so scary, i'm lost in the depths of madness forever, i may die, I'm dead ? >I'm not dead. I'm so glad being back in my life, habits and procedures. The dark parts I saw, the horrific stories I imagined were mostly me...>feel amazed for a few days, some life lessons may appear too.Sometimes it's a mix of the two, if you kind of accept it, do it with a good set and setting you are not traumatized after. Or maybe the hardcore part is what enables the pleasant after effects. Too much, wrong place, wrong sitter, cops or medics called, and you go to psych ward, put on antipsychotics for weeks, and this whole experience will be traumatizing.Sober you may follow or not the advices of shrooms/high you. Some individuals dont like shrooms and prefers other psychedelics drugs for the same purposes.
>>2863765ive loved the outdoors since i was a child because my dad taught me everything there was to knowused to spent all my free time /out/side, pretty much the last decade i was working and sleeping at different worksites because i was the guy who likes to camp out and dont mind being out there because there might be fishing and adventurefew years back my 40+ years old spine finally gave up and put a stop to everything, had major surgery and ive never been the same after that
>>2863816and in case you were wondering where the yuru posting originated from it was because of tubbyanon, dude had teletubby toys hangin from his bag
>>2863807I would only micro dose 1-2 times a week when not working and only after getting my errands done for the day so I didn't need to drive. There was no profound change or effect when taking them, but it did let me experience positive emotions and actually enjoy things which is a fucking godsend when your deep in a depressive spiral. It was pretty similar to taking normal medication in that I noticed the largest difference when I first started and as I started to normalize the small dosage affected me less.I would sometimes get some slight nausea the next day or if taking two days in a row but over the counter stomach meds would take care of it.Would sleep like a baby with vivid dreams the night of. Seriously the best sleep I've had in years.
men will go to the other side of the planet before going to therapy
>>2863765the problem lies inside you... You have to find it, see it, acknoledge it, understand it, then try to find a solution for it, resolve it, get past it. Take into account its going to take a while. Maybe double the time it took you to get to this point. When you notice it, its a signe its set in, and maybe has been setting in for a long time, you just only realized it, when things that you did love and where passionate about dont feel like nothing.Dont wast your time rumiating about it, go to therapy, maybe medication, idk. But stop looking outside for an answer, its not there not in a partner, not in a new job, not in a new activity. Its inside you and you can have all those things and will still feel empty. Fantasies of having it all are just that fantasies, you will never have everything in check in your life, and that's great it gives you the objective of looking, improving and changing... When you loose your ambition you lose the will to live.But don't look for self improvement in consuming or doing something new just for the sake of it, it will merely patch you up for a while your problem lies far deeper. Also leave social media and start real social lifemost of what is shown to us in social media is just product placement using self-absorbed, absent minded, and many unaware humans as a medium.Pd yes i had mayor depression, and got over it.. but sometimes you relapse...Medication helps. Therapy helps. Sport, friends, outdoors, carrer, family all helps a bit. None alone will solve it.
>>2863765>I still posted the pictures of me smiling and the view to instagramYou are gay.
>>2863765Meds and therapy, nigga. I know it's a meme on this website that medication does nothing and is a psyop but it is useful for people with fucked up brain chemistry.
>>2863765congrats anon, you finally learned hiking is stupid. get a dirt bike and ride it up the trail, its way funner
>>2863765>>2863796 is wrong in the sense of "you need to find your own sense of authenticity", your identity is always empirically constructed by others you know, and the environment you came up through, filtered through your own neurodivergent conscience. >>2863933 is more correct in that part of what you need is socialization. Find social groups in your metro area and commit to attending them, making friends and talking to other people. It may be hard if you live somewhere rural, you could try to join discords or parasocial communities but it won't solve much more than 4chan can. If you have social anxiety just remember other people want to help you bridge that successful social interaction, and are also hoping to leave good impressions. And commit to wanting to take interest in what your new friend takes interest in, accept that your interests have been influenced on you. If you find your interests are just eclectic and making an effort to befriend others is beneath you, realize you can harness that uniqueness with courage to influence others to want to talk to you. I do all this and still go /out/ and hike & take landscape pictures & exercise by myself.
>>2864580You're telling him to find identity in others, this is a shallow excuse for being. Yeah it works, for probably 90% of normies, but it's not the way for the over-thinking man. OP has to become comfortable with himself and his life before he can build up his relationships with others, he's going to wind up simply attaching himself to some other fake identity and constantly posturing/fronting if he tries to put himself out into social settings more without working on his own issues. >dude, just act like a normie, find a friendis not really good advice for anyone who isn't two steps from going eyes wide shut normie status anyway>>2863807No man is an island but at the end of the day the only person who likely gives a SINGLE fuck about you is your mom and a good portion of the population doesn't even have that. You have to make the hero's journey through the valley of fire to rescue your father from the belly of the beast etc etc some other bullshit tl;dr you have to become yourself first. Up until this point you are the product of a society that you likely don't fit into, this other anon is telling you to just fit into another part and he's not wrong in that aspect but you're not going to know what part to fit into without searching your soul first. It's likely you already know the answer of 'what you have to do' etc, dosing psychadelics will probably give you an existential crisis as your subconscious throws these answers into your thoughts and actually up and doing these things after the trip is over seems overwhelming, some people interpret these thoughts as messages from other beings etc who are trying to influence you to live better etc, however you explain this phenomena magic or mind the end result is essentially the same in that you will likely finish the experience with the knowledge that you should course correct
>>2863902men will journey to the end of the night before going to therapy
Take some acid or shrooms dipshit, fucking god why does anyone even try helping you retards. IF YOU'RE DEPRESSED MICRODOSE SHROOMS AND STOP DRINKING CAFFEINE REALLY FUCKING EASY FIX >b-b-b-b-b-butThere is no possibly thing you could say to contradict me that would even be within the realm of being correct or factual you gay little shitshorts dweeb.
>>2863765Sounds like youre going through some growth pains. Try reading the Bible.
>>2863765Modern living is a lie. Convenience and comfort are the killers of fulfillment. Living in a town without any sense of community, you end up lonelier than being by yourself in nature. Therapy is training to silence the voice of reason. Meds are there to numb the pain of not following your instinct.You go to hike in nature because it is where you belong. You know it is missing from your life.I used to feel like this, living in the city, working a corporate job. I remember a period of weeks without feeling a single positive or negative emotion.I quit and moved to a mostly depopulated rural area. I can keep livestock and roam, forage herbs in the garden and woods, grab fallen logs for firewood...Preparing the land with hand tools. Everything takes longer, and that's fine, I'm not in a rush. It's been hard work, but it never felt like a chore. Working with nature is prayer. I am more fulfilled and less lonely. Sometimes I sit and listen to the birds. Sometimes I lie down on the grass and nap. Never do I feel bored, or anxious, or restless. And my full spectrum of emotions has returned.For practical advice, to try out if this is the lifestyle for you at a low cost, save up as much as you can, then go do Wwofing/work away on people's rural properties. The more bare bones the better, as that will teach you how little you actually need. It will teach you valueable skills and knowledge. And then, if you know it is for you, you can decide how to transition to the lifestyle. There are better options than waiting until retirement. You don't need a 100 acres cattle ranch to live happy in nature. Cob is a cheap and easy building material. Permits and regulations only matter in places where they are strictly enforced. A shack, some goats and chickens, a dog, a little bit of connection with the other inhabitants in the area...
>>2863765Have you tried mixing it up with other activities so you're not repeating the same activity every weekend and every vacation day? Hiking will eventually become stale to most people unless you live near an exceptional hiking location (think Alps, Rockies, PNW, Cali, or New England) that you can visit regularly. Even hikers in those places often pivot to other activities like rock climbing, mountain biking, and scuba diving that make them feel more alive.
