I signed up for some backpacking class for next week and realized I will have to poop in the wild. I'm fucking scared, bros.
I know I'm supposed to clean it up but like fuck when I'm exhausted on a hike I'm not bringing a fucking trowel with me and digging holes to poop in. I'm gonna just shit off the trail a bit and leave my poopy paper towels next to it. Hopefully nature takes care of it.
>>2868423>4chani once had explosive diarrhea in the middle of a 12 mile hike. I forgot to bring toiler paper and had to get off trail and find a place to poop. Ended up wiping with my underwear and used all my water to wash my ass. A few minutes later I walked past a group of cute girls, I was probably smelling like shit, had to walk 8 miles dehydrated and smelling like this.
>>2868426half sheets of paper towels are best (toilet paper falls apart)I mean maybe you could bring wet wipes but that seems heavierI just wet them by spitting on them from a bit away
Imagine signing up for a class as an adult that teaches you how to poop
>>2868423Maybe you're not ready for a class like this, but humans have been pooping outside for tens of thousands of years, so you will be a huge disappointment to your ancestors if you cannot figure this out. You're not digging a well, it shouldn't take you more than 5 min. Joking aside, do a quick Google of what snakes are in your area and how to avoid them in the woods. If you live near PA, it's not uncommon to see rattlesnakes when going off trail to shit
>>2868422use the river like a civilized person
>>2868486>NJfuck, man. This scares the shit out of me. Last time I had to poop I remember coming across some scary spiders.
>>2868487I thought those were Saddam Hussains.
>>2868530>brown recluse countryBro cancel the class asap
>>2868541>brown recluseNigga why u lying tho?
>>2868426its a rite of passage to have to do something like this
>>2868544It's called cyberbullying, and it just happened to YOU
>>2868422in geology field camp we just drop a log in the high traffic areas and kicked a little dirt over it and walked on.
>>2868422>I signed up for some backpacking classloldo you have to log your hours so you can get your backpacking license? Does your instructor have to sign off on your performance?where can I get a job teaching fools how to walk around in the woods? I'm really good at even though I never took a class. I'm a natural. A fucking backpacking prodigy.
>>2868422>>2868423it's not that bad. you don't need a trowel, you can use a rock or a stick to dig in soft ground. there are compact wipes (like minee) that easily fit into a pocket. what you should really do is keep a plastic biobag and pack out the wipes to throw away later.
>>2868426contemplate the aroma
>>2868714>what you should really do is keep a plastic biobag and pack out the wipes to throw away later.I dunno man. I get that you should but fuck that. they'll stay in the little hole I dug with my shit. I don't wanna pack my shit rag in with the rest of my stuff
>>2868714I do this when I'm not near a river or body or water, so then I can just toss the whole bag in the one I come across.
>>2868422I shit in the woods all the time just for the fun of it. I live in nature though, not just visit it occasionally.
>>2868422This is why before a trip and especially during it avoid spices and fiber. Bland food outdoors when tired tastes better than anything you'll have in town anyway.You should have your gut in order anyway so that it's a simple clean log and there isn't that much to clean after.
>>2868858How do I prepare my gut to poop logs and not diarrhea before a trip?
Shitting in the woods is one of the best parts
>>2868863ozempic>>2868929it is genuinely the worst part besides bugs and retarded gates/restrictions on when you can hike and forest jannies
>>2868422>backpacking classyou don't know how to walk wearing a backpack?
>>2868930You’re way wrong. I’ll drink a big cup of coffee fill up my water bottle and a ziploc of toilet paper and immediately hit the trail first thing in the morn. taking a full squat bowel clearing dump in the woods is the best shit you can possibly take you feel so empty and light afterwards. Man wasn’t meant to sit on a toilet.
>>2868934Why talk about what man was meant for when its only modern comforts that enable this anachronistic view?Try it without the coffee, the toilet paper, the ziploc, the water bottle, the car, and the showers. Then tell me thats what man was "meant for".
>>2868937That is what man was meant for and he found a way. As would I. I’ve used rocks and sticks before out of necessity and would or will again. Still prefer that to a toilet. Let me put it like this, I routinely grab a bag or paper plate or something walk out my back door and shit onto or into that and dispose of it because it’s that much better than using a toilet. I’ve been to jail and shit infront of other men shit beside them on those old Roman style open toilets too. They do have those squat toilets in Asian countries which are neat, I could get on board with that. It’s not about just shitting and it’s not about me it’s about limp wrist sissys too mindbroken domestic and and removed from nature to do what’s natural.
>>2868423I hope a snake bites your balls while you're at it.
I have UC, so I can't always decide when (and therefore where) to shit. I carry a shitting kit when I'm /out/.Before I knew of my condition, I once had to evacuate a steaming, stinking pile of light-brown, smeary shit behind a tree stump with my young daughter nearby. I carried no TP with me and had to clean my ass with forest soil consisting of dirt, pine needles and ants. I built my shitting kit on that very evening.
>>2868422Pack a hand trowel, get a militias one if you need a light saw. I use this to dig my shit holes and weeds my various beds great. Don't use ultralight trowels, you'll cut your hand and wonder if five ounces is worth a pommel
>>2868985Please my dude, invest in a 3d printed bidet nozzle. Your chocolate starfish is getting beat up enough. You can throw them on disposable water bottles
im confused if you walk off into the trees and just leave a huge shit in the woods no burying no nothing whats the big deal? mind you im used to being on relatively low traffic hunting trails where you can shit 60 feet off the trail and have legitimate difficulty finding it again. what autism am i missing here? are we applying this to trails so over-used and ran down that hundreds of pooping people ends up actually mattering? I'm not buying poop bags to carry around nor do I think the poop being under six inches of dirt really made the situation that different
>>2869489Thanks for your concern, friend. But this works well enough for me.
>>2868487>civilized personare you Indian by chance?
>>2868941idk dude, its pretty wierd if the only way you can get a great shit is if you are out in the wild. sounds more like a fetish or soemthing. like a scat voyeur
>>2868941your prose actually opened my eyes, I now aspire to be an outdoors shitter as well
