How can I get an /out/ gf?
>>2883031I've found most girls to be pretty /out/ if they like you
>>2883031be likable and charming, these are skills you can develop with practice, but you have to actually go socialize to get that practice.
>>2883031You have to realize that most women who claim to be into /out/ wear it as an aesthetic, not as a lifestyle. Those that do actually mean it are often already in relationships.But you can become a good partner, get a girlfriend and then make her into an /out/ gf.If she likes you and cares about you she'll want to share in your interests. Some of these can be e.g. taking her outdoors, going on hikes etc. So while you can't "get an out gf" you can make an /out/ gf. Just don't tism her into hating it, try to make it nice for her, maybe start with more glamping related stuff and slowly transition.
>>2883032This. Pretty much every gf is an /out/ gf if you’re competent enough to be fun going /out/ with.
Lmao
>>2883081>But you can become a good partnerSlightly off topic but how do you become a good partner?
>>2883104nta but basically help them by assisting with their problems and sharing their joy without them having to ask and without trying to “improve” them. Nobody gets in a relationship to be forcefully improved by a partner, obviously.Think about what you’d want in a wife and reduce it a bit back to yourself>would you want her to be responsive to your feelings without you having to directly ask her for empathy?>Would you want her to use her strengths to help you out in ways you might not see because you don’t have those same strengths?>would you want her to pay attention to the things you like/dislike, remember those things, and help keep you happy?>would you want someone who works WITH you to solve problems instead of insisting their own thoughts?>would you want her to use her skills/talents/energy to improve your lives together in ways you probably can’t do yourself?Basically you should be complimentary puzzle pieces rather than trying to superimpose anything on each other.
>>2883104This question can mean different things depending on your goals.Do you want to be a good partner to attract interest/find a mate? To maintain a relationship? Or to have a good life together?For the first, it's to objectively analyze what your faults are from the outside looking in and what people might not like as much. You don't have to (or should) totally betray yourself here or be fake, but the delusion of "they like me as I am or not at all" is also childish. Look at traits that are attractive to the type of women you'd be interested in and cultivate them (sincerely). Also, and I can't stress this enough, finding someone is a function of how many new people you meet in social situations (apps count but ideally try many avenues).For the second, find the emotional no-go zones and stay clear of them. Find their weaknesses or things that disproportionately trouble them and try to take care of those by helping them out. Be open and have serious talks about expectations and the state of the relationship. You'd be surprised how rare that is. Keep things fresh by occasionally, but irregularly, surprising them with thoughtful reminders of your appreciation. Some flowers on a weekday for no reason. A datenight where you cook together. A card from that hotel you stayed at for work. A daytrip on a weekend as a surprise. There's no shame here in cheating: Set up reminders, plan it and don't tell them so it seems more impulsive. The irregular part is important, it keeps them on their toes and stops it from becoming "normal" (in which case it loses its value).Cute and silly "insider jokes" are a good one too. Get a small plush, take it with you on each vacation and take a pic with it each time to cultivate a backlog of memories. Add post-its before going to work in the home and her bag so she finds them during her day.
>>2883108>>2883104The third part is the hardest because it's the one part that you can't bruteforce. 1 and 2 you can basically set your mind to and make real, for 3 you need someone else who puts as much effort in as you.I'd describe it as finding ways to "feed" the relationship in the absence of the intrinsic motivation of raw attraction you feel at first.Unfortunately I'd be bullshitting if I pretended to have figured that out fully myself, jury's still out on that for me, but I have looked at couples I know that did figure it out.The goal there seems to be able to cultivate a sense of gratitude which supplements and sometimes even replaces raw attraction (romantic and sexual) as the thing that feeds the relationship. I know three couples that I'd say figured that out well:- One is a friend of mine. He had issues growing up and his anchor in that time was his girlfriend and her family who basically in all ways but legally adopted him. In return he put in inhuman efforts to be worthy of that trust and help, which in turn made his girlfriend thankful.- One is a female friend. They actually struggled during their relationship far more, with her occasionally talking to me about how she was unsure he was "the one" until right before marriage. Then they bought a house and had kids. She feels gratitude that he never doubted her even when she did and that he laid the foundation for the lives they now live. He feels gratitude that she gave him three kids, always was there for him and has become an amazing mother.- The last are my parents who seem to be a mix, feeling gratitude for sticking together during a tough time in their lives and for the lives they built.I'm not sure if gratitude is necessary to have a good life together, but all the couples who "made it" that I know seem to have that as the central glue that binds them. Worth thinking about at least.
>>2883105>>2883108>>2883109That's actually really good advice, thank you. It's indeed true that most of the time is about gratitude and what we can do for the other person. I tend to think about having a girlfriend in a way that makes me wonder how it would change my life when in reality I should be thinking what I could do to make her life better. Thank you both for the perspective change
>>2883123Good luck anon, you seem like you have the right idea at heart.Just remember not to forget yourself in the process, you want to make her life better, but you also do deserve to feel good while doing so. And sometimes you can still make all the right moves and it doesn't work out, that's just the human condition.Godspeed.
>>2883105NTA but problem with this complimentary philosophy is that it almost always crumbles without absolute perfection, which is of course impossible because we are humans and society is imperfect.Modern day couples will have multiple Ex-Spouses and partners and basically abandon relationships as soon as they get hard, because they are all expecting their partner to autistically match their respective autistic puzzle piece to a T.To me, a real relationship means standing by somebody even through those difficulties, and holding each other accountable. All these hollywood ass notions of true love and a hallmark movies definition of romance are highly dysfunctional for the individual and are bad for society.
>>2883210Maybe it was only easy for me to say. I’m married to the girl I dated in high school 17 years later. I will say, though, that most of the things she would name as reasons why I am “a good partner” would primarily derive from those things I do to compliment who she is without her having to ask or describe what she needs. This is probably also easier for us to do because we grew up together.
soon, you will just ask ASI the exact same question >>2883031 and it will just tell you to go to a certain place, at a certain date and you will just find some girl there that has a huge bush and likes to walk around barefoot
>>2883032This does not answer the question.Women don't care about any hobby ever. Not in the way men do. But if a woman is attracted to you, she will put up with and try to involve herself in whatever you are into.Women are purely social creatures. They have no other interests outside of socialising and gaining social status. They never truly care about anything else.A woman will get into and discard an interest like changing clothes. It just depends on who her current boyfriend is.
You might find an outdoorsy gf, but not an /out/ one. This is because real women don't use 4chan.
>>2883428My wife browses one board on this site pretty regularly. She laughs and shows me when people call her a basement dwelling incel and the like. You really do have no idea who the fuck you’re talking to on this site at any given time. That’s part of the fun.
>>2883430>My wife
>>2883430My favorite thing to do as a female browsing 4chan is tell others there are no females on 4chan
>>2883448I still doubt it but maybe the fuck you are kekWomen on 4chan is truly a heavily underrated idea. I tell my wife YWNBAW as a joke if she fucks up at something feminine. Once she asked me what a NAFO tranny is and I almost pissed myself laughing. People ask all the time on other boards>how do you explain to your wife xyzI want to say “Fuck if I know. You guys do it”
>>2883430you don't have a wife>>2883448you will never be a woman
>>2883385"Women don't care about any hobby ever"Holy shit you're an insufferable faggot
>>2883452This is why I hide the fact that I frequent 4chan for as long as possible. Most of the time normies will hear 4chan and just think /pol/ which is a massive turn off needless to say. Only a select few get to see my final form>>2883479Anon is just in the post breakup/edgy teen/insufferable faggot phase, please understand.>>2883081>Already in relationshipsUnfortunately this. tbf hasn't stopped me in the past and the few /out/ gf's I've had started out being in another but that's never a good way to start one off. Matter of fact I've been hiking with one with a gloriously tight ass and tighter body who's bf doesn't like challenging himself (we do) but that's a total no go. Flirty vibes from both of us we had the "I'm in a 13 year relationship and don't want that to go away" talk. Ah well, good hiking a great views either way
>>2883487There's something quite revolting about the way you speak of a potential partner.I hope it's just youth and a desire to posture so you can still grow out of it.
>>2883497But that's the thing, she never was, is or will be a potential partner which I understood from the get go and had I posted this literally anywhere else I would've said why I'm actually going /out/ with her but it's not anywhere else, it's fucking 4chan. No need to virtue signal around here, no need to hide the fact that physical attraction is a big deal for many people
>>2883503>No need to virtue signal around hereAnon that's literally the opposite of virtue signaling, as that's relative to the virtues of the community you engage in.On 4chan virtue signalling would be to add a few nigger and faggot's in the post to signal to the rest of the group that you're one of them.On 4chan pointing out that the way you described her is disgusting is, if anything, gonna make people mad at me.>no need to hide the fact that physical attraction is a big deal for many peopleNigger I didn't say that or imply that and you know it. Take that retarded schoolyard debate stuff somewhere else.It is disgusting and childish and I stand by that.
Which type is more /out/?
>>2883521I don’t think you can tell by looks and career path all that much. You see some real dweebs on the trails sometimes. I mean, absolute dorks who look like they wouldn’t ever be out there. That’s 7 women so probably 3 or 4 of them would enjoy /out/ stuff with the right guy but it’d be randomly distributed between the two groups.
>>2883031My boyfriend is not at all /out/ :(I'm trying so hard to drag him to climb and hike and bike and ski this year. I finally got him out to a national park for a hike last weekend, and I think he had fun.t. /out/ gf
>>2883507>saying the n word on a blue boardbrave as he’ll
>>2883031Give her blindness soup
