You are in the news again /pol/
>>536555949did he cum?
>>536555949Are you referring to the jeets or niggers?
>>536555949Well, I think this is a clear case of murder by the government not letting anyone have, you know, trying to reduce the sex rate. Like, I think if he had a girlfriend or a state-mandated girlfriend, he certainly wouldn't have done that. So, you know, it's that he's a victim of what happened in our society where, you know, no one's having sex anymore. So, I mean, for sure, he's in heaven right now, but, you know, we gotta, we gotta fix the society. He didn't do anything wrong.
>>536555949>going outsidecouldnt be me
>>536555949coulda happened to any one of us. stay safe on these streets
>>536555949i have beat off while driving at least 10 times. one time it was past a fatal rollover crash. saw the car pass me a few miles before, later twisted upside down and on fire.kept stroking.it has almost always been during long road trips.i think i once failed nofap while driving locally at night.
>>536555949Hahahaha you got me good OP
>>536555949>he died doing what he enjoyed the mostbased
>>536555949At least he died doing what he loved.
>>536555949This was his best chance of reproducing
>>536555949This is poorly written. Which came first, the masturbation or the car crash? I mean obviously we're going to assume the wank resulted in the crash and not the other way around but it's just bad writing.
>>536555949One time I was driving home on the highway I had like an hour and my dick was so hard it was painful to the point I had to relieve pressure to continue driving and I shot a huge amount of ropes right into my hands and had to use my shirt and drive shirtless. I did all of this going 70mph on a highway. I call that talent
>>536555949The comical and cartoonish nature of his death leads me to conclude he was a jeet.
>>536555949the only time i ever watched porn on my phone while driving was to try to stay awake cause i didn't sleep the night before because i was on drugs all night and i had to go to work the next day and they didn't have anyone else to drive the delivery truck on such short notice
>>536556280it's easy to coom if youre driving on a highway through nowhere for miles. i tdo belive i did it at 100mph in south dakota
>>536556246it was a nigger 10 years agoonly niggers drive 1996 toyota at 330 am
>>536556474in detroit i forgot to add. crucial detail
>>536555949>use phone while driving>diemany such cases
>>536556200>AAAAA IM CRASHING MY CAR WITH NO SURVICORS QUICK LEMME PULL MY PANTS DOWN AND JACK OFF OH GOD IM CUMMINGGGGYour honor my client has assured my that this is the actual sequence of events
>>536555949>Be me>Watch some porn on the toilet before work. >Head to work>Man I got this itch>Pull down pants to scratch >Shit keeps itching....ack>Police fine me dick hanging out, search phone and see one tab from toilet time. Fuck, I should have wore my seatbelt.
>>536556632>on the toiletdegenerate animal, you deserve to be executed in front of your family.
>>536556474https://www.wtnh.com/news/strange/man-dies-in-car-crash-after-watching-porn-while-driving/
>>536556632How do you explain the spunk all over the steering wheel?
>>536556245SAAAAAAAAAR moment.
>>536556191>Only if it was in a school zone.
>>536556034buckets
>>536556703Maybe the car was a rental. Assume only makes an ass out of u and me
>>536555949Hunter Biden?
>>536556601It could be a consolation wank>well, shucks, looks like I'm paralyzed from my legs down, might as well rub one outwe've all been there anon.
>>536555949You don't get to the "pants off" level of comfortability while doing a drive & jerk without being proficient at it. I guarantee this accident was caused by an Asian woman, an Indian man, or an illegal mystery meat Hispanic that gets a drivers license as soon as they set foot in the US. The fact this man is being ridiculed is disgusting. We should be able to drive and jerk off at different times. We used to be able to beat off in the comfort of our own home. This story says more about modern western economies and late stage capitalism than it does about some poor guy having to take care of his own basic needs while trying to take care of his other basic needs. TKD HH
>>536556703Objection your honor. Irrelevant.
>>536557074Nvm it was a nigger at 3 AM. My point still stands though.
>>536555949This article is a lie. I'm not dead
>>536555949dickstracted driving
>>536555949>'pantless driver' >masturbating to porn>while drivingNo, no I'm going to go out on a limb and say that immediately struck us as you my jam-covered retard, but but supposedly it was a nigger? Reality is stranger I guess lmao
>>536555949>No picture of the offenderThis is clear indication it was nigger, sand nigger or pajeet. Protect diversity at all cost.
>>536555949That is kinda unfortunate.
I'm pretty sure he was a /b/tard.
