Why don't you have an earthquake proof bed?
>>538729904>you are now trapped in a sarcophagus for future generations to discover
>>538729904I live in a river delta made entirely of silt clay, the nearest rock is hundreds of miles away, we do not have earthquakes here
>>538729904The faraday cage around my bed provides more value. As well as my bookshelf speakers that project positive frequencies to drown out the bad ones. Also doing pemf as well as making a oxygen station soon
>>538729904I sleep with my leg out...
>>538729958With 3 cats
>>538730044based mudman of the swamp
>>538729904>Sensors detect incoming Hamas rockets>Trigger the lid to close>Zyklon B fills the chamber
because my house is made of wood lmao
>>538729904If by chance you move one inch out of the tolerance zone during your sleep, you will be cut in half if there is an earthquake.
>>538730100Checked. At least you didn't die to your Mexican neighbor setting off fireworks.
>>538729904>legs over the bed
>>538729904Because I slept through the Northridge earthquake that nearly leveled the city, anon. I was born to defy fear and death.
>>538729904Because I live in chad tornado territory
>>538729904Because my dick wouldn't fit.
>>538729904I'm sure this will not trigger while someone is snoring loudly or having farty bum bums or just cold
Ghey.
>house collapses>doubles as a coffindamn
>>538729904I'dvrather get crushed by a collapsing building than suffocate in a metal box under a collapsed building
>>538730569You could always build some kind of collapse-withstanding structure around/over the bed if it was really a concern...
>>538730044the rocks are under you, anon
>>538729904Australia was built on stable ground with no fault lines at all. It's one area where the aboriginals were smart.
>>538729904i like to live dangerously B)
>>538729904>quickly raise your head from the shock>get decapitated
>>538730144gg you are modern day tutankhamon
>>538729904>Be doing the fucking™ with smoking hot wife>The sensors says " oh nononono">get given the finest decapitation >hit the floor>everybody does the dinosaur
>>538729958kek my thoughts exactly
>>538730607>if it was really a concern...It's not though
>>538729904I don't live in EQ zone, also, I live in shitty aparment and the floor would probably collapse if I put that much weight on it.
>>538730068You can’t stop my psychic brain blasts
>>538729904I used to sleep with a loaded gun in my hand. That's basically the same thing, right?
>>538730202Cut in half and stored neatly, to be fair
>>538730100>get morning wood>have earthquake>get dick ripped off for being over the lineWhat did they mean by this?
>>538730789Half of you anyway
>>538730472Take it out of the sheep first
>>538730819Still twice how much I’m known and liked
>he doesn't have an "airbagged" house with exploding walls/ceilings in case of earthquakes
>>538730779You can’t shoot an earthquake to stop it. That’s Hollywood bs.
>>538729904My penis would get caught between the doors.And what will happen if a housefire causes the sensor to malfunction?
>>538729904
>>538730894Approved and permitted
>>538729904> why dont you sleep in your coffin anonNah I am good anon. I will wait till I am dead for that thanks.
>>538729958seriously, fpbp & /thread
>>538729904>have sex>get trapped>call timmy to the room to open the casket>"mommy, where is daddy? who is this black man?"
>>538729904>Y U no hab.....Because I have a massage bed instead?
>>538730906Nah. I seen it work before.
>>538729904>shake sensors on a bedlisten I don't know how or if you fuck, but if you're not even a little bit worried that you might trigger it, not even on your best day, just let the ceiling rubble take you
>>538729904Use case?
>>538731351Emergency suicide with built-in plausible deniability.
>>538730936
>>538729958Fpbp
>>538729904We don't have natural disasters in Sweden so no need.
>>538729904imagine renting a room in a bed and breakfast and there's one of these in your room
>>538730936China is even beating us in tik tok videos
>>538729904I wonder how many people die because it malfunctions and locks people inside and they can't get out.
>>538730977>>538731351i think the idea is it would stop you from being crushed by your house falling on youbut>you would probably still suffocate in there before being rescued>not going to do much if you're in an apartment building or high rise
>>538729904>House collapses.>Sealed in your own coffin.Very efficient.
>>538729904>Shagging some lass>Going at it hard>Bed thinks its an earthquake>BAM!>Now have to spend the next 48 hours until someone gets called to do a welfare check on you, stuck in a box, shitting in front of her. Sub-optimal. I don't think you're getting a second date.
I post earthquakes in my TikTok they are generally chill. No one moves or freaks out. I had an interview once and it was remote and I was "chill bro there is an earthquake going on right now".
>>538730647hilarious
>>538729904I live in a proper house fitting building code and better.
>>538729904Because my ancestors weren't retarded enough to settle in a seismically active region.
>suffocate instead of being crushedIzzat for you
>>538729904Concept made by retarded Indian student? This would probably kill people
>>538729904>Fart>Die
>>538729904>shadman
The only natural disaster I have to worry about in my area is flash flood and I'm already working hard to keep my AC running max power 24/7 so it never rains again inshallah
>>538729904>kills you
