>Implying that dying in a foreign land and being remembered as hero wouldn't be an upgrade to whatever kind of life you're living nowIt's way better than your own mother finding your dead body that has been decomposing for almost a month with a noose tied around its neck.
>>539543976It's actually like a jump scare seeing that image because I know for a fact that that's the trajectory my hairline is on. Thank god I have money and a passport and a haircare protocol.
>>539543976Stupid fucking meme. Some guys go bald at 17 and some never go bald
>>539544180did you go bald at 17??
>>539543976im gonna celebrate when you hang in a rope rabbi
>>539543976I used to be that guy. No job, no clue, just stuck doomscrolling and wondering why nothing was working out. Life felt like a co-op game where I forgot to pick up a second controller. Then I tripped over something kind of wild the army's got this #QuickShip thing where you can pull in $40k just for signing and showing up. Not even joking. I'm not trying to LARP as a drill sergeant or something. I'm just saying: if you're sitting around wondering how the hell to get ahead, this is one of those options that somehow exists but no one talks about unless your uncle brings it up at Thanksgiving. Except now they're throwing real money at people who are willing to step up. I know what you're probably thinking. Military=war, scary stuff, not for me. I thought the same. Full-blown tech nerd over here, never touched a weight, social skills at 15%, maxed out in sarcasm and caffeine dependency. But the truth? Most recruits never see combat. You're more likely to end up learning stuff, getting in shape, and figuring your life out than you are running into anything risky. It's more "life reboot" than battlefield. You build structure, get confidence, and yeah people actually treat you with more respect. You stop feeling like a background NPC energy and start showing up like a main character. And the kicker? After your time's up, you've got $40k+, free education, benefits, the works. Start a business, buy a house, whatever. It's like real-life NG+ with unlockable perks that don't expire. Not saying it's for everyone, but if you're even a little tired of sitting on the bench while life keeps loading might be worth looking at. No hype, no pressure, just putting it out there like someone should've done for me. If you're curious, there's a site I found that breaks down how #QuickShip and bonuses work. Look it up, do your own digging. Just maybe don't dismiss it like I almost did. goarmy.com
>>539543976I support others enlisting.I'll be here making sure your wives and girlfriends are taken care of.You're welcome for my service
>>539545403probably pasta but for anyone considering this keep in mind they can find all sorts of ways to screw you out of the bonus, stop loss you from getting out if there is a national emergency (we've been in one after another for like 70 years), force you to stay on active reservist call up if they do let you out and a bunch of other shit. In addition to shooting you full of every fucking shady vaxx on the planet when you enter. Unless you're about to be homeless really think hard about doing something like this.
>>539543976Sure, but being handed a rifle and killing the jewish conscription officers is an even nobler act.
You're not supposed to die for your country. You're supposed to make the other person die for theirs. Of course, you're also supposed to fight for your country and not Israel.
>>539543976Leave my boy Goran Pandev alone
Professional soldiers are just high calibre neets. At best they consume slightly more gibs by playing with shiny toys and at worst juke governments into spending billions developing those things. Conscription is just a way to burn money
>>539545754I legit was about to be homeless and was on drugs and I joined the navy. Gave up the dope got clean and went to bootcamp. Did 8 years where I had sex with foreign women sometimes for money. I ended up going schizo and getting medically discharged with 100% VA benefits. I get $4500 a month and free healthcare I don't work. Beats almost being homeless HA
>hero>for dying for jewish economic zone #14No thanks, I'm not fighting and I hope you die
>>539545403kek, i was looking for this pasta
>>539545403>And the kicker?a drone flies into you and explodes
>>539544175>Thank godyour kids will have your genes
>>539545403>I used to be that guy. No job, no clue, just stuck doomscrolling and wondering why nothing was working out. Life felt like a co-op game where I forgot to pick up a second controller. Then I tripped over something kind of wild the army's got this #QuickShip thing where you can pull in $40k just for signing and showing up. Not even joking.>I'm not trying to LARP as a drill sergeant or something. I'm just saying: if you're sitting around wondering how the hell to get ahead, this is one of those options that somehow exists but no one talks about unless your uncle brings it up at Thanksgiving. Except now they're throwing real money at people who are willing to step up.>I know what you're probably thinking. Military=war, scary stuff, not for me. I thought the same. Full-blown tech nerd over here, never touched a weight, social skills at 15%, maxed out in sarcasm and caffeine dependency. But the truth? Most recruits never see combat. You're more likely to end up learning stuff, getting in shape, and figuring your life out than you are running into anything risky.>It's more "life reboot" than battlefield. You build structure, get confidence, and yeah people actually treat you with more respect. You stop feeling like a background NPC energy and start showing up like a main character.>And the kicker? After your time's up, you've got $40k+, free education, benefits, the works. Start a business, buy a house, whatever. It's like real-life NG+ with unlockable perks that don't expire.>Not saying it's for everyone, but if you're even a little tired of sitting on the bench while life keeps loading might be worth looking at. No hype, no pressure, just putting it out there like someone should've done for me.>If you're curious, there's a site I found that breaks down how #QuickShip and bonuses work. Look it up, do your own digging. Just maybe don't dismiss it like I almost did. goarmy.comTl;dr
>>539543976lets body shame everybody equally, especially if they have absolutely no choice in the matter
>>539544175Just cope with the reality and deal with it like a man.
>>539543976It's constitutional to shoot draft officers and drill sergeants.
>>539543976dying would be an upgrade to eating tasty tendies and doing whatever I want all day? lol
>>539543976You die as a tool for a corrupt military and government or do the right thing and kill yourself.
>>539544175Either fly to Istanbul and get a transplant and use Rogaine for the rest of your life.Or take the razor-pill and shave it all off.I lost my a few years ago. Really hurt my self-esteem cause I loved my blonde hair, but I rather shave everything off than having the ridiculous horseshoe. No pic is not me, it's what I dont want to become.
Why don't you guys just give up and get a cute wig. Then... Maybe kiss a little... I'll just watch.
