You boys behaving yourselves?
>>539863971
>>539863971Sir yes sir.
>>539863971No. you won't do shit.
YESSIR
>>539863971Who is this handsome fellow?
>>539863971You have been very quiet lately Shitwood. What u up to?
>>539863971Yes sir
>>539864137I wonder how much the interest is on the wheels.
>>539864137The I stand with Israel does nothing but makes them a target lol
>>539863971sure thing ocifer, no troublemakers here just good clean wholesome all american antisemitic fun
>>539863971I ain't done NUFFINS in minecraft
>>539864193Its a rolling rate
>>539864372
I was only nine years old. I loved Sheriff Chitwood so much, I had all the newspaper clippings and memes. I'd pray to Sheriff Chitwood every night before I go to bed, thanking for the life I've been given. "Chitwood is love", I would say, "Chitwood is life". My dad hears me and calls me a faggot. I knew he was just jealous for my devotion of Sheriff Chitwood. I called him a cunt. He slaps me and sends me to go to sleep. I'm crying now and my face hurts. I lay in bed and it's really cold. A warmth is moving towards me. I feel something touch me. It's Sheriff Chitwood I can't see his face but I hear his voice. He says, "It's okay little boy, you're safe now." Then I feel a warm kiss on my forehead. The warmth leaves and I'm alone again, except that I know I'm not.The next day I tell my mom about what happened last night. She tells me Sheriff Chitwood is real and she has seen him too. She gets angry at me for calling her a cunt and asks if I want to go with her. I agree and we leave together. We walk up an old dirt road and turn down a path to a house. This isn't like any house I've ever been in before. There are lots of people inside. They look normal but they have weird clothes on and their skin color is different. Some of them don't even talk or move, just stare at nothing. There are beds everywhere. Some of the kids are crying, some are sleeping. My mom takes me to one of the beds and lays me down. I ask why am I here? Why do I need to be in this place where no one speaks or moves?"I'm sorry, son. You're special," she says as she strokes my hair. "You were sent here because you needed help. It's okay, everything will be all right soon."She tells me to close my eyes. I open them back up immediately because there are children in the room. They don't speak, they just watch us. My mom starts talking to them and tells them to take care of me. One of the children comes over and touches my hand. Its Sheriff Chitwood
>>539864174No way.
>>539863971No. I've increased my antisemitism output 115% this month.
>>539863971wow, that's so crazy. One of my friends showed me a picture of this guy like four days ago i think, and asked me if I knew he was. I didn't know, but he said he was gonna "go down south" to "give him something he'll never forget". I had no idea what he's talking about, but we haven't heard from him in a couple of days.
Sheriff Shitwood, always a pleasure.
>>539863971You running unopposed in the next election again, dreg?
>>539863971He looks like one of those people whose breath smells like poop.
>>539863971I am going to ki- ACKKK
>>539863971Yes sir, faggot sir.
>>539863971For me, it's Zapata!
>>539864526BELIEVE ALL ANONYMOUS POSTERS!How is this monster still walking the streets?
>>539863971YESSIR MR.SHERIFF SIR
>>539864721I feel bad that people abusing actual power face no consequences, but powerless people who went a little too far on the internet face real consequences.
>>539864721What where their sentences? Also does not the forums disclaimer say that everything written here is a parody or summffing
>>539865008>written here is a parody or summffingIt was fake. Go look at the archives. There are 19 pages of death threats towards chitwood that go far far beyond what they are claiming these 3 guys got arrested for.
>>539865086I remember this story vaguely also never actually cared
>>539865008like a lot of those kind of laws they're effectively just selective enforcement excuses they toss at whoever and don't apply to whoever, at whim >>539865086
>like a lot of those kind of laws*but technically a specific "death threat" naming someone that actually exists that seems realistic, shitpost or satire or not, is technially illegal
>>539863971Breaker breakerI'm in.Foxtrot Alpha Michael Florida Keysyup, you're done, kiddo.
>>539863971SIR SIR YES SIR!
how is shitwood so powerful? he got that one guy even though he said "in minecraft."
>>539865818server was under fed jurisdiction because of all the child porn
>>539865818>Ask for 6 gorrillion IPs of anyone who has made threads>Search through them for a vulnerable cuck who won't have money to win in courtThat simple.
>>539863971Y-yes, sir, all good here!
>>539863971your psyop was bad and you should feel bad.
>>539863971yeah
>>539864124/pol/'s sheriff, he's the reason why the board remains clean and orderly.
