it's time of the century, gimme your best draft dodging ideasinb4 sharting, not doing that
>>539885646glow
>>539885646get fat.
>>539885646is this a cat with a mask or girl in a cat suit?
>>539885646Notorious terrorist
>>539885646Starting your pants is the american way, anon. You must discover your own method. I for one have a pair of tighty-whities and chopsticks ready to go. Good good ga ga, kikeniggers.>get weapons training >frag CoChad option
>>539885646Have a minor disability. For me, I have no vision in the left side of my left eye.
>>539885646go to Canada tell the US government you are going there for MAID
Simple Kys OP
cope thread. we're all dying on the front lines for Israel
think I will live in the forest in a tent and have my mom give me food every 3 days. should work if the war ends in 1 year .. so basically im fucked >>539885793considering griefing the minecraft server they send me into if it comes to that>>539885718nigga u glow>>539885742that will make things worse, you gotta run away from these fucks and survive under harsh conditions>>539885763idno
It's interesting how I had to verify an email since the news of the draft stuff. I posted in some of these threads and the glowniggers must've not like what I did so they're stalking me right now. Sad!
how does it work if i were to start anti western political activism right now? like trying to start anti war protests and advocating for just signing a deal with putler? would that put on a sort of sweet spot traitor list where I would be undraftable but also not worth necking >>539885927I will search the archives
>>539885646Wear panty and hose and bra to draft board in high heals and wig. Maybe foxtail buttplug out the side of panty.Don't shave pits or balls. Leave bush hanging out. Wear lipstick and blush.
>>539886289>undartablestraight to the frontlines in Strafkompanie for you
>>539885646I'm 30 and I'm worried I have diabetes but I can't afford a blood test
>>539885646I have a fused spine, so I can't get through basic anyways.But if they want to try, I'll probably just be overly eager in a psycho way. "Yes I am completely normal and can be trusted around weapons please give me weapons" in the most monotone voice, that kinda idea.
>>539885646claim you are a woman.only men will be drafted.
>>539885646LISTEN TO ME ANONSRAISE YOUR POWER LEVE
>dont be youngCheck>be married Check>have kidsCheck>have a jobCheck >have your wife declared mentality unfit and you her primary care provider Sovlem probled
so many privileged fuckups itt. I'm healthy BMI and regular gym goer, this shit sucks>>539886504>>539886782>>539886396OK here is a refinement. Buying a fursuit, acting gay and having a history of going to pro Russian marches? Over the top trannism isn't gonna work for me. They would pull my wig, tell me to take a shower and I would look pretty normal (unfortunately)inb4 >Take estrogen todayno
>>539885646Constantly ranting on about the Jews and conspiracy theories, and trying to radicalizing everyone in ear shot of you. They won't want you anywhere near a barracks.
>>539885646i will dodge the draft by having sex with konata
>>539885646Ask the draft man to wipe your butt, when he says "What the fuck?" start hitting yourself in the head and start screaming "YOU'S ABUSIN ME YOUS ABUSIN ME" Im sure they will leave.
come and see
I hope there's a 100% draft so I get sum zoom-zoom punanny hahaaaaaaaaaa
>>539887057Ye I think this is the meta minus the fact that I would have to go public with it and be a cooldown to lose my job but perhaps I can avoid being too public with it and keep for a few months, only pop off when it becomes obvious that its about to start.
bedrafted,,,Vietnam,,,night beforexam drink Tons of Coffee,,DONT SLEEP!,have friends do shifts keeping active awake!,,,,med exam>"high blood presure, FAIL!",,so,coffee,,,lots of coffee.
>>539887051This why buttplug most important. Pull butt plug out in case they do that. Put butt plug in mouth
>>539887073that comes after the war when her brothers and dad got drone'd in a pointless war
Why would I dodge the draft, officer. If I were to be drafted I would report immediately to serve my country.
>>539886591$20 Glucose meter.Avoid excess sugar for 24 hours Don't eat for 8 hours, or before bed. Test in morning. If under 126 you're fine. If between 100-126 you're at greater risk. Now try it again after not eating all day, then have cereal bar and check it after 2.5 hours should be back under 126.
>>539887757>>539886591if I fuck it up this is what I will try honestly can just zog bots just pls fuck off, like what happen to no means no??
Do NOT do this:Drop foot on purpose.Take a hypothetical rope, draw your hypothetical feet straight downwards, keep them there tightly for hypothetical days.You would hypothetically get dropfoot.
>>539885646You know exactly what it is you must do.We all do.Saying it means nothing, especially when we all know what must be done.Consider yourself at war already.
>>539886396Do that and you'll probably go straight to officer's school
>>539887994Very simple.
>>539888124Kek.
>>539887919The ride never ends friend. By the way you'll hear a lot of whispers about something called pre-diabetes.It just means increased risk. I've had it for 12 years now and I'm completely fit. Doctors are full of shit until they aren't. You won't fuck it up. You'll be good and even if you have it slightly over the line you could just change some shit that you eat or start taking a fiber supplement before you eat food and do that for a few weeks and it'll probably fix it. Or take berberine. The human body sucks dude. Since I turned 30 it's been downhill. I'm 38 now. Also I eat healthy and do everything right and I still get screwed. This planet's a prison
>>539885646Offer to work construction.
Just come out as trans. It’s what I did. Not to dodge the draft mind you, I just wanted to be a chick, but now that we’re banned from the military it helps me avoid getting drafted altogether. Nobody will question you if you come out, so just tell your recruiting officer you have gender dysphoria or whatever.Or just say you’ll shoot your NCO if you get in. Better’s choice
>>539887530>konata >brothers You stick out bud. Reddit might be more your speed
>>539885646Show up all trooned out. I can't be drafted, I did things and have been marked unsuitable for military service. So that was a bonus.
>>539888205ouch, I thought this is a guide how to fake diabetes. >It just means increased risk. I've had it for 12 years now and I'm completely fit. Doctors are full of shit until they aren't.interesting, I might have some genetic predispositions. I thought being fit just means it won't trigger. I guess something to include to my yearly checkups.
>>539885646take out as many draft officers as you can, they can't draft you if you take them out in groups.they can't arrest you if you taken them out in a blaze of fire, burning man dorner.>they expect our passports in the fire
>>539888318based pic
>>539888579It’s me and my bf :3 (except I don’t cut cause it would make God sad)
>>539888318>Just come out as transwon't be able to convince them. I once wore a wig for a cosplay convention. I looked like a guy that listens to metal not a girl :(
>>539885646I'm not sharing
>dodgingDodge this
>>539888796well good 4usometimes it looks cool tho
>>539887051Unironically picrel. That or griefing the minecraft server you get sent too. Ive always had the mantra that if i get forcefully dragged into a minecraft server, ill make sure its a net negative deal for them. Ok maybe you gained 1, but you lost 3 type deal
>>539885646you can't escape,i will find you and i will draft you
>>539885646You would have to go cashless and work under the table. Live on the street or in the woods.Even if you have a disability or are fat they could shove you in a support role. Better than ending up in the Combat Arms. At least you would be comfy and your survivability chances would go up.
>>539891735I would actively and blatantly sabotage. Im pretty strong, so raping a couple of officers wouldnt be a problem. Sowing absolute chaos within my unit with amphetamine-laced coffee, shit your pants pills in the food etc. my mission is to destabilize as many units as possible. Try me you fucking glowniggers. I fucking dare you. Im roided and traumatized. Put me in a room of 20 men and i will demoralize them to oblivion or convert them. I am the shit raping crusader
>>539892019Kek we had an officer who was a total incompetent POS and an asshole on top of it.He used to demand a perfectly made coffee in the command post every morning at 0600 or he would tard TF out on us. It had to be specifically sitting next to his laptop on his special little coaster. Yeah he was that much of a fuckhead.One of my buds would draw the 0500-0600 shift specifically so he could make his coffee with "extra cream" if you know what I mean.
>>539885646I was at a bar that was playing some mainstream propoganda slop on the tv, must have mentioned israel or Iran when some orclike entity in ill fitted camo grunted out something about "weak men scared to fight for their country"I out loud said people just aren't stupid enough to go die plinking sand monkeys for israeli interests while bean hordes piledrive our home country anymore. His souless gaze locked on me as he started espouting his service record like the McDonald's menu. I said that's quite impressive for a faggot droning brown kids from the safety of 2 countries over.This must've set off his programming and fired off what little neurons he still had. Couldn't even tell you what the mystery meat monster was squeeling as he thrashed on that poor barstool's unbreakable will.I scoffed at the spectacle which had to have activated his kill mode. The frothing mess lurched forward and all it took was mild reactive response of avoidance to sidestep and watch the golem trip on himself and come crashing down.I sat on this beanbag's back and slapped it on the back of his head. He was already teary eyed and farting profusely in impotent rage. Once the whole bar was splitting their sides in laughter I got off and told him it's ok, no hard feelings. The creature scampered away in fright (I guess having to actually fight for once in it's life was too daunting).Someone yelled out "Simper Fag!" as it barreled out the doors.Anyway good luck to the homos and losers set up with recruitment duty. Hope you like the taste of Remington-brand pepper
>>539892338My country is pretty far from a draft, but i almost envy you mutts and poles the opportunity to demoralize drafting officers. There are unlimited traps one could set. Atleast start carrying a blade so you can knife minimum one of them. Zogs are trying to take your life, never forget that, that is the enemy - not some brown kids
>>539885646here's the best one
Come equipped, they will not only not draft you, you will also be eligible for social welfare NEETMAXXING
Just fucking serve you pants shitting scared retard.
>>539885646Become the press gang member.
>>539886682Nah, they'll maybe give a weapon, but not ammo. Ammo will be dropped when you're at the frontline.
>>539885646>draftThis isn't the 20th century retard, they need intelligent soldiers not cannon fodder.
>>539885646Be too old like myself. Winning!
>>539894887If you believe that Bobby then you haven’t been paying attention.
>>539885646Reminder that they didn't draft anyone during the GWOT and won't need to for Iran.
>>539885646Don't worry, anon. I will publish a book about this subject. It will cover EVERYTHING that you will need to know about the subject. It will be a large book that will be based on a multi year successful personal experience and accumulated expertise.
>>539896246finally a trustworthy nigga
>>539885646hide in the forest and hope out every once in a while to derail a train with a derailer or cut down a power pole>don't get caughtcongrats you don't have to go die for zog>get caughtcongrats you now get to live 5-7 years rent free with all expenses paid for and no risk of going to war
>>539885763catgirl in a cat suit with a girl mask.
>>539885646Why would I tell you that?>Then I'd get fucked over and draftedIf you don't already know or can't think of ways you are a low IQ dysgenic who should be culled in war anyway. All I know is it pays to be a schizo.
>>539885646go through the recruitment process and ghost when its time to sign, hit it a second time down the line. go to your hospital and do one of those psych evals toothat should be enough red flags on your file that wont affect your day to day life
