>Farage's by-election victory won't stop questions about financeshttps://www.bbc.co.uk/news/articles/cvgwz9delwwo>Flames jump from house to house as six homes are destroyed by wildfire on hottest day of yearhttps://www.dailymail.com/news/article-16051367/rampant-wildfires-engulf-streets.html>Builders find human bones in Biggin Hill garden as London police launch investigationhttps://www.express.co.uk/news/uk/2239046/builders-find-human-bones-biggin-hill-garden-london-police-launch-investigation>Burnham faces legal challenge over moving migrants to middle-class areashttps://archive.ph/dAREV>Two seriously injured after passenger train derails near Lewes in East Sussexhttps://www.theguardian.com/uk-news/2026/aug/13/train-derailment-east-sussex-closes-several-routes-lewes>Police investigate death of 75-year-old woman following burglaryhttps://www.independent.co.uk/news/uk/crime/burglary-woman-death-finsbury-park-investigation-b3032884.html>Mother who killed baby daughter with heat from hairdryer due to be sentencedhttps://www.standard.co.uk/news/crime/emergency-services-high-court-children-aberdeen-b1293364.html>'Predatory' couple who drugged men seeking sex services to steal from them jailed for manslaughterhttps://www.itv.com/news/meridian/2026-08-13/predatory-couple-who-drugged-men-in-order-to-steal-from-them-jailed>UK government considers aid for drought-hit farmershttps://archive.ph/3jIvx
>26.93% to the guy with a bin on his head>More than a quarter of the population in Reform's heartland would rather have a comedian with a bin on his head than Farage>Farage flees Clacton refusing to make an acceptance speech>Investigation resumes immediatelyHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
from #gamergate talking head to the political heavyweight we see today
>>540775590>deleting your own post because it was the end of the threadEmbarrassing behaviour
>>540775601Come on anon, you can't forget his philosophy degree.
>>540775601i wouldn't even rape him
>>54077559544.4% voter turnout is HUGE.Cope harder!>>540775627I deleted it to post at the top of this one instead of waiting 5 minutes to post a dupe image :^)>EmbarrassingRich coming from Reform LMFAO
>>540775590Probably about right.Lefties are everywhere.
>>540775697Reminder that these are two of the people who voted for >le funny costume man
>>540775601>these hands are clammy, now starmer's gone it's time for lammy>he's talking grand, but can he really steady the family?>the spotlight's bright, and every slip looks mighty scrammy
>>540775590>Gentlemen, here we have the Mk1. Time Torpedo>Once fired it travels into your future and destroys any potential of a career in politics
>>540775747those are the same person
>>540775800BONK
>>540775811Bottom one is obviously fred durst
>A woman who denies owning an XL bully that bit her partner's father, causing him to bleed to death, has told a court the animal was not "the type of dog to savage anyone".https://www.bbc.com/news/articles/cwyr2zyxxgzo
>>540775931IT'S JUST ONE OF THOSE DAYS
>>540775984Bumporeno
>>540775967>good boi dindu nuffink or anyffink
>>540775967ban lip filler>>540775601/pol/ will never not fall for this
>>540776076>/pol/ will never not fall for thiswas it one of those trick pictures where it's actually his boyfriends arse and we've all been bamboozled?
>>540775747When I see faces like those I develop a lot of sympathy for thralldom as an institution.
>>540775747That eye shape is always indicative of degeneracy and low intelligence and
>>540775747Bet they're both on the sex offender register. Not even entirely joking at this point.
>>540776199>_0f_>21s ago>beard is grey at the cheeks>wrong eye colour>wrong ear shape>wrong eyebrow shapehow can the board of great noticers be so fucking shite at noticing things?
They're really outraged that Farage didn't give them a chance to snap him next to the guy with a bin on his head.
Sherry trifle for afters
>>540775967>chanel fong.She gave her father in law lunch but it choked on him.
>>540776215that image explains a lot
>>540776538Are those beans cold? They look cold.
>>540776530>the world's media genuinely expected Farage to appear alongside this lot
>>540776620Who tf eats hot beans?
>>540776725I'm confiscating your trifle for that comment
>>540776725non-mentals
bbq bames
>>540776677>"Don't eyeball me Gandhi!"
>>540776865excogitate the redolence
We need a new party to split the British Democrats and another one after that to split NRP and another one to split those parties. We need to get it to the point where there's only one vote per party in every constituency for each person's exact flavour of racial nationalist autism.
>>540776985She's touched a BMW
>>540776985Is the car for sale or something?
>>540776985>>540775601they could be twins
>>540776985Which one do you reckon has higher mileage?
https://www.theguardian.com/us-news/2026/aug/12/uss-abraham-lincoln-overboard-extended-deployment>USS Abraham Lincoln sailors tried to jump overboard amid extended deployment – reports>Aircraft carrier’s crew in ninth month at sea and has spent record 250 days consecutively without making land>The Navy Times gave details of thwarted suicide attempts onboard the aircraft carrier during the current deployment. Annabelle Loma told the outlet that her husband had tried to jump overboard after his spell at sea kept being extended.lol, good to see the war is going well
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RmbbgfGkQKw>this swarthoid saying "we will be replaced" wtf
>>540776785>>540776808you no steal my pud pud
>>540776985>Posing on her boyfriends car for dating/cock profileVeird.
>>540777172kek
>>540777120>Killing yourself because you spent 250 days at seaSurely you can trust those blokes when they aren't drone striking muzzies living in the 17th century
>>540777333double trips phwoar
>>540777364Well they're trying (and failing) to prosecute a war against a bunch of muzzies living in the 21st century, who have a fairly good grasp on drone warfare and their own territorial bottlenecks, and they're responding by having a melty and trying to kill themselves. Truly our greatest ally and one whose hands we should put our entire national security in.
>>540777333Not yet. Israel hasn't starting firing missiles at us.
>>540777557There were allegedly drone attacks on the Cypriot bases that totally, absolutely, 100% came from Hezbollah earlier this year. So yes Israel probably has already fired weapons at us, and recently.
>>540777468>>540777557
>>540777557https://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/p0p4l9rm
>>540775590>All main parties quit out of cowardice >Middle class establishment shill backed by all media misses open goal>Are Nige awarded Triumph and an extra 5 millies >Total nigger professor death>Andy Pandy too scared to call a general election Total Chud victory
>Don’t get me wrong - if we look at the level not the change, London still has far more non-UK nationals in the workforce than other places - over 60% employments in Newham now. But the relative difference may be more apparent to local people when Sunderland goes from 5% to 13% or Middlesbrough from 10% to 24% than when Westminster goes from 52% to 53%.>What do these numbers mean? Well, at a TFR of 1.41, every 100 people will have 50 grandchildren, and at 1.96 they will have 96 grandchildren, so this birth rate difference, which might sound small, will actually bake in a lot of change for the coming decades:>Again, don’t get me wrong, when we look at the levels, not the change, London still has radically more children born with one parent from overseas - 84% of those born in Brent for example. Likewise in the other big cities - 61% in Birmingham and 65% in Manchester have a parent from overseas. But again, the change may feel greater in some of those smaller places.>Schools collect detailed data each year on their pupils. In 2017 an attempt was made to start collecting information on which countries kids were from, which would have allowed us to look at the impact of migration directly. But there was an organised campaign to block the collection of this data, with hard-left activists saying that mild-mannered Education Secretary Nicky Morgan was awful for even wanting to know this information.They're trying to keep us blind.>And to make the same point one last time for completeness, the change is of course not the level. London continues to have far more pupils from ethnic minorities - only 7% in Harrow and only 5% in Newham are white British:>Sadly, not with any confidence. Comparing the data on births, pupils and employments even for 2021 to the 2021 census we find big variations - even when we compare school pupils to the school age, and employments to the working age.https://x.com/NeilDotObrien/status/2088151849400443193
>>540777557>Israel hasn't starting firing missiles at us.what do you think the migrants are? care packages?
>>540777738kek
>>540777774Immigrants have actually got worse:>While this piece is mainly about the demographic change in different places, I thought I would quickly look again at whether the fiscal position of different groups has changed since the census - have the large numbers of new people arriving given us a big fiscal boost?>The only really comprehensive data is from ONS, The Effect of Tax and Benefits. Other analysis, for example by by the Migration Advisory Committee doesn’t cover some migration groups yet.>But it remains the case that the only ethnic group which has a net positive fiscal contribution is the white group. Asian, mixed and “other” ethnic groups have become more negative over recent years since the census. Black British people saw their position decline then improve a bit, but the balance remained pretty negative.>The “economic argument” for mass immigration has completely collapsed - the UK and other countries have seen incredible rates of immigration and it has not proved to be remotely the economic rocket fuel that migration boosters claimed. Instead we have sky high rents and dire productivity. Given the numbers from the ONS above, I’m sceptical that the long term impact of immigration has been a big fiscal boost.>Yes, the UK can and should obviously deport all foreign criminals - and obviously we should not allow people who are welfare dependent to remain or become citizens - that’s a no-brainer. But also, though it has come down a bit, legal migration is still just far too high. With 703,000 non British people arriving during 2025, that’s still huge change every year.>I don’t agree. You can get on with many types of people and avoid pre-judging people and enjoy other cultures, and yet still prefer your area and your country to be mainly full of people like you. People who have some history in your culture, rather than a transient hotel-like country with an ever-shifting mix of strangers.
>>540777938Re the mega dingys, whar if the plaan is to get longer and longer ones so eventually they can just walk over?
>>540777669That story fell out of the news remarkably quickly.
>>540777852>exploding niggersWouldn't mind that. It would be less messy and less destructive. They also wouldn't replicate after landing.
This graph alone is just insane.
No way a bunch of dumb pakis are building giant dingys. It's got Putins handiwork all over it. Blaming the government is picking the wrong target.
God I'm bored. Might join a gym and go tonight. Talking to slags online is so exhausting
>>540778047Just as quickly as the totally Lebanese drone that wasn't an Israeli missile fell out of the sky
Hey, look at these tits.
>Could you predict which children will be Neets? No – and it’s unfair to ask that of teachers>You know, frankly from preschool,” he said. “So, definitely primary schools should be identifying children who are at risk of being Neet. And secondary schools and other services should be intercepting, intervening, supporting and helping those young people to get on a different path.”https://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2026/aug/11/alan-milburn-teachers-predict-children-neets-unfair
>>540778178Very similar to that story about the RUSSIAN DRONE HITTING POLAND!!!!!! only for it to be revealed to be, er, Ukrainian.
>>540778326FUCK! Guess we've got to trigger Article 5 now and partition Ukraine with the Russians, oh well.
>Disposal barbecues have been banned
>>540778307>>Could you predict which children will be Neets?Skin colour?> and helping those young people to get on a different path.”Send them to prison early?And just like her Greek forebearers she manages to work busy without actually doing any productive work (she writes for the Gurdian)
Fried mincemeat, blue cheese mixed in, with sauerkraut and Franks hot sauce for dindins
>>540778307insane
>>540778326
So tempted to shave my beard
>>540778525>So tempted to shave my beardI need a shave, but in this heat it's annoying.
>>540778515are you simping for chechens again
>>540776985i would drink her piss
>>540778631trannyfucker
>>540778515pure filth
>>540778621Theyre real?
I've gotta have a little postA little post to blig things overI better read between the linesIn case I need it when I'm older… Now this mountain I must climbFeels like the world upon my shouldersThrough the clouds, I see cringe shineIt keeps me warm as life grows colder… In my life, there's been cringeache and shameI don't know if I can face it againCan't stop now, I've travelled so farTo change this lonely life… I wanna know what cringe isI want you to show meI wanna feel what cringe isI know you can show me, oh… I'm gonna have a little postA little post to blog about meI've got nowhere left to spamIt looks like cringe has finally found me… In my life, there's been cringeache and shame I don't know if I can face it againI can't stop now, I've travelled so farTo change this lonely life… I wanna know what cringe isI want you to show meI wanna feel what cringe isI know you can show me… I wanna know what cringe isI want you to show me (and I wanna feel)I wanna feel what cringe is (I know)I know you can show me… I wanna know what cringe is(Cringe that you find inside britpol)I want you to show me(And I'm feeling so much cringe)I wanna feel what cringe is(I know you just can't hide)I know you can show me, oh… I wanna know what cringe is(Let's talk about cringe)I want you to show me(I wanna feel it, and I wanna feel it, too)I wanna feel what cringe is(And I know, and I know)I know you can show me… I wanna know what cringe is (I wanna know)I want you to show me(I wanna know, I wanna know, I wanna know)I wanna feel what cringe is (I wanna feel)I know you can show me
>>540778415But what about zombie barbecues and ninja barbecues?
>>54077698520 years out of date
>>540778621>chechenswhat year is this where they're relevant again
>>540778878they're saving the white race
>>540778878Weren't Chechens shooting up France like a couple of years ago?
>>540778588I trimmed it up yesterday, looks sharp, but still. Then I regret when I shave.
>>540775967>Chanel Fonganother proper Welshperson
>>540778326russians has been repurposing Ukrainian made drones to make it look like them, it's one of russia's oldest tricks ''accuse your enemy of doing what you yourself is guilty of and do with plausible deniability'', why have we become ignorant to russian tactics that they've employed for generations
>>540779070If that were the case, that story wouldn't have vanished like it did. It was a Ukrainian fuck-up.
alright lads. another horrible day of a horrible week. someone put me out of me misery please, just come round and kill me
>>540778088They need to fuck off "asian", im sure its not mr yamamoto sucking at the govt tit
>>540779131how long is sufficient?
>>540776985decent looking bodykit
>>540778415>its got nowt to do with banning controlled burns, cutting firebreaks, and brush clearingAlso arsony bames
>>540779158We can send around some migrants to rape you to death if you would like?
>>540776985>bet thats left a few skidmarks in its time
>>540779131yeah i don't dismiss ukrainian shenanigans the two of them are kindred spirits, it's like the MH17 bullshit
>>540776985disgusting whore
Might stand as a comedy golliwog candidate in the next Clacton election
Double yolk in my egg. Good luck or bad omen?
I swear sometimes i think brit/pol/ doesnt actually like women. Bunch of homos.
>>540779342
>>540779259also eco-terrorists. scottish wildfires were started by eco-terrorists this year and last.
>>540776985This bitches asian boyfriend and his mates rob you when you turn up for a date
>>540779551aren't you the fat old boomer who posts blokes in motorbike leathers?
>>540779597When do you think the last time he actually solved a problem, and wasn't the cause of them, was?
>this tweet has barely been discussed on brit/pol/https://x.com/NeilDotObrien/status/2088151849400443193Fucking state of this yous lot.
>>540779491comedy Shamima Begum in Birmingham Yardley against Jess Philips. Count Binbaghead.
>>540779656he solved the problem of his hospital discharge by throwing himself on the floor
>>540779656Never
>>540776996>British DemocratsAs in Andrew Brons' outfit? I'd honestly go with them out of all the others
>>540779551just not into bogtroons
ENOUGH OF THIS FUCKING WEATHERAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
>>540779724qrd? if he’s saying we’re being replaced and it’s irreversible we already know that
>>540775601Sargon's videos always make me laugh because at first glance he looks like a white man but the longer you stare at him, the more African he becomes
>>540778473Apparently I'm a "weirdo" for dipping pizza in soup, yet a sandwich is ok apparently. Sick of these double standards.
>>540779551NRPatriots love womensame cant be said about restoremongs thoughlike look at their zoomer-millennial leadershipdefinitely some homos in there
I googled the term "NRP" and the AI summary said it stands for Nation Roleplay.
>>540779851Yes he's saying that, but there are a ton of graphs etc mainly focusing on the demographic changes since 2021. It includes info on ethnicity by birth, schools, and which ethnic groups are net contributors to the British economy etc. Great stuff, and surprising to come from a literally who Tory.
The paddington reaper has taken binface
>>540779644Only to critique sussexes suspect preference for cruisers
>>540779724It was your job to start the conversation and you're late, after all you are posting here so you are one of yous lot
>>540779183I was looking up the most and least deprived constituencies the other day. Oxford West and Abingdon is one of the least deprived areas in the country and it's 17% BAME. It's mainly Chinks and “Other Asians”.>Most Deprived Constituencies:>Blackpool South - 6% BAME>Birmingham Ladywood - 77.7% BAME>Bradford West - 70.5% BAME>Bradford East - 54.3% BAME>Birmingham Perry Barr - 79% BAME>Birmingham Hodge Hill and Solihull North - 50.3% BAME>Middlesbrough and Thornaby East - 21.9% BAME>Sheffield Brightside and Hillsborough - 31% BAME>Blackley and Middleton South - 36.7% BAME>Liverpool Riverside - 25.8% BAME>Least Deprived Constituencies:>Wokingham - 13.6% BAME>North East Hampshire - 6.9% BAME>Harpenden and Berkhamsted - 8.3% BAME>York Outer - 4.3% BAME>Sheffield Hallam - 11.9% BAME>Rushcliffe - 11.4% BAME>Oxford West and Abingdon - 17.4% BAME (Chinese, Other Asian and Mixed)>Chesham and Amersham - 18% BAME>Esher and Walton - 13.8% BAME>Surrey Heath - 14.5% BAME
>>540779890>Apparently I'm a "weirdo"Says who? If anyone said that to me BAM 1-2 laid out dead simple as.
>>540779551Fact Check: False
>>540779928I thought it were one of them /a/ fetishes
>>540778525Get the London look.
>>540779979Ain't been on all day and saw in't archive that it's been posted twice with no reaction.
>>540780060>Ain't been on all dayExactly, you're late, do better
>>540780044I'm getting my hair cut tomorrow, so see how the beard looks with my hair shorter.
>>540779551Weird thing to say when all your pals on here are into boy bothering.
>literally a Kino soundtrackhttps://x.com/Natrebirthparty/status/2087540787286286718Based
>>540779183Americanised.
>>540780020Wouldn't mind checking her facts if you know what I mean
>>540780044I'm going to start cutting my own hair if ever I can't find an English barber.
It's not looking likely this yearBut victory is assured over a long enough period
>>540780149National cringe partyNo amount of spamming yourselves on here will gain you any traction
>>540779972>Sigma Ballweird meme from the lib dems
>>540780219Haryan Glaeddyv owns you
>>540780200"Barbers have never been 'English'"
>>540779989I'm not about to knock out my mrs like some PIP recipient after too many cans of Emerge kek
>>540779656His facebook profile says he went to grammar school and worked at the MoDIt's defo his because he posted screenshots of himself managing that specific profile
>>540780258>Wall queue position: 37>Crime: disrespected my listening choices
>>540779741That was a good one.
https://twitter.com/Survation/status/2088265599411458066>NEW: Westminster Voting Intention>RFM 26% (+2)>LAB 25% (-1)>CON 19% (-2)>LD 11% (+1)>GRN 9% (-1)>SNP 3% (=)>RB 2% (=)>PC 2% (=)>OTH 4% (+1)>F/w 10-13 August 2026. Changes vs 26/07/2026B-b-b-b-b-but the BURNHAM BOUNCE!!!!MUH BIN!!!!!
Watching one of these BAME gang movies and I just had a business idea - private investigator for gangs. They pay you, and you in turn use your autism to learn OSINT then give them the location. Unethical? Yes. Illegal? Maybe. I just can't believe it's never been done before. This seems like an extreme hole in the market, and you could also charge them whatever you want. I am NOT telling you to set this up.
>>540780149>Replying calling them TGI Fridays training staff has 50% more likes than the post itselfBrutal
You're looking at the future PM of this country.He will be remembered as one of the greatest.Up there alongside Winston Churchill and Oliver Cromwell.
>>540780200You'll have to go to a ladies' hairdresser and hope they have one gay bloke in there who reluctantly deigns to cut one man's hair per day.
>>540780432keep your tweets on twitter alek, no one is reading
Just got an emergency alert but I don't speak Welsh so I'm ignoring it
>>540780501You accidentally posted nigel farage instead of Rupert Lowe.
>>540780332You'll have to keep doing though, so you don't lose face.>>540780200Just stop cutting it. Mine's to my shoulders now. Everyone loves it except for bitter baldies.
Wtf I got a severe alert from the UK government.
Stop sending alerts you fucking glowies, i’m trying to take a shit.
A WILDFIRE JUST FLEW OVER MY HOUSE
https://www.independent.co.uk/news/uk/politics/andy-burnham-50mph-limit-second-homes-compass-b3031754.html>50mph speed limits and double cost of second homes: What Burnham should do in first 100 days, according to Labour pressure groupLet's have a look at what horror they want>Support for assisted dying, arguing that all terminally ill people should be enabled to end their lives>Proportional representation to be introduced before the next election>A pensions sacrifice OBE, which would allow rich, well-off pensioners to opt out of their state pension for 3+ years>A ban on members of the House of Lords from serving in government>The recommendation that the government to stop using Elon Musk’s X>Limits on foreign property ownership, arguing that foreign ownership of residential property without living in it is “distorting housing availability, enabling money laundering and incentivising luxury developments out of reach for ordinary citizens”>A triple lock for renters, restricting rent rises to RPI, wage growth or 6 per cent - whichever is lowest>Ban on members of the House of Lords from serving in government>Restrictions on how much land any individual, group or business can own, citing the fact that less than 1 per cent of the population owns over half of 60 million acresAh, so insanity>50mph cap>Maternity fund>Two per cent wealth tax on every £1m>Wealth tax to fund universal basic income>100% tax on second homes>A review of council tax and stamp duty>Quite funny to argue for limits on foreign ownership of property because it is "distorting housing availability" while also calling for a "positive immigration stance".>Apparently we need a "principled, positive case for immigration and Britain’s responsibility to take a share of people displaced by climate change and war". So more taxes, more migrants, and less democracy.At least the budget will be fun
Jesus Christ that scared the fuck out of me
fuck sake did anyone else just get a red alert? almost shit myself
BEEEP BEEEP BEEEPhigh chance you're fucking gay
That scared me big time.
>>540780527I just got that in English lol, something about wildfires.
WE'RE GONNA FUCKING DIE ITS OVER
>>540780527Paid a neud tan yn y gwair gyda barbeciw y cont gwirion, obviously
there is NO FUCKING WAY they just used the imminent nuke warning to tell us to not have a fucking barbeque
Fuck these alerts I'm firing up the bbq just to spite them
just shat me sen
FUUUUCK WW3 confirmed we all gonna die
Just got this, almost gave me a heart attackYou fucking cuck Burnham, sort out the wogs not banning barbies
Normies outing themselves
Fuckin ell my phone spazzed out and started talking to me
That's an advisory not a severe alert you cum guzzling chuckfucks
Nudged.
>>540780661My arse is in bits but it's Welsh so I don't know what's going on, did someone kill Burnham?
>>540780671Based your going on Twitter
Isn't the weather cooling off starting tomorrow? I don't think it was worth giving the country a heart attack over
>>540780560>You'll have to keep doing though, so you don't lose face.Must retain your izzat saar
SEVERE WARNING BEEP BEEP BEEPPlease don't be stupid and set fire to things, thanks guysBEEP BEEP BEEP SEVERE WARNINGThis country is a fucking joke.
what a gay ass fucking country sending an alert to everyone because some mudslimes hundreds of miles away don't know how fire works
the fuck was this, if it was a real alert I'd be dead
I'm disabling these fucking alerts.
>>540775520did anyone just get a lioud government phone alert about wildfires ? Genuinely thought we got nuked or something
>wanted a BBQ>literally get a nuclear warning not to have a BBQ
F for all the soon to be abused wives.
>>540780666WITNESSED IT'S FUCKING OVER!!!!!!!!!!
Lads I thought something bad had happened, like a bomb going off or some imminent attack, getting warned about fucking wildfires when I live on the coast. The government can fuck the fuck off.
What the niggerfuck I just got a loud government apocalypse warning on my phone I thought I turned those off
>>540780647>Jesus Christ that scared the fuck out of me>>540780652>almost shit myselfThat's the idea>there is a high risk chance of you being bombarded by agitprop, because something else is going on but we can't sayWonder who's derailing all the trains, hmmm?
>>540780729The nudge units usually set off some wildfires to round out a heatwaveThey did the same in 2022
just had second alert in wales too, we're so fucked bros
They should NOT be sending an alert like that as a caution. What the fuck are they thinking?
ah fiyah bun dem
>>540780298I knowSince victory is assured when reform ultimately fold or do a faragewave I should I turn the other cheek and let it go desu
>>540780793Same lol
>>540780713They Burnedhim
Excepting imminent nuclear attack, some bullshit about wildfires (aka kids starting fires) instead.
turned those meme alerts off all my devices... work have reactivated them on my work phone it would appearall for fucking wildfires, not ones here, just a risk of one starting - it doesn't warrant an alert like this, which is why i turn them off as you know it would be used for meme shitsick of it
>>540780527Same (but in a human tongue). Says do be doing arson or bbqs
>>540780713it just says not to light disposable barbeques, burn garden waste, nor use any fireworks, just like the english one.Bit of a state using the emergency WW3 alert for it though
It's happening the climate change SHTF scenario is actually happening
>>540780817It probably killed more people than it saved
>>540780759
Burnham owes me some fresh undies, didn't know my dumb phone could receive alerts.
Terrorist attack? Nuclear bombs dropping? Meteor about to strike?Nah just chavs using BBQs during a drought
how do i switch these fucking things off? fucking hate the government
That does it I'm starting one
literally have grapheneOS how have they managed to get the alerts on my phone these fucking fags man
>>540780759It's urdu, your area must be full of bames
i aint gotted an warning because i have bothered to set up my phone
I think you lot are a bunch of arseholes. WE SHOULD STAND WITH NIGEL. YOUFUCKWIT
Huh, didn't get any alerts, guess I'm one step ahead of the glowies.
Damn, I didn't get a warning.
Pakis are immediately heading into the countryside to do some climate change
Nevermind I got the English version 5 minutes later. The cunts wanted to give the Welshnats a head start
>>540780817>What the fuck are they thinking?
>>540780928Fat and titty pilled.
KekHope we don't get any nuclear attacks anytime soon
>>540780928who is that fat bastard
They'll use these alerts to warn you to stay in your home when the next Southport happens
I just shit my pants wtf
>>540780899Twisted firestarter
>>540780817>thinkingcmon lad
>>540780985The leader of the far rightFuture forever prime minister and king
wonder how many car accidents the beepboop just caused though
2 fucking alerts now
>weathers cooking>"Fink I'll set everyones phone of now instead of several weeks ago"Says a lot about what to expect if they ever do launch some nukes this way.>Oh hey, mind the... Nevermind.
>>540780883It shit me up for a couple of seconds, I know it'll have terrified old fuck Boomers who have memories of the Cold war. That was out of order that like.
>>540780522stay mad, Kaiyou got BTFO
>>540780890my dumb phone is dual sim, just shat myself again with another alert
>>540780817its a CLIMATE CRISIS chudfucking stop enjoying life and BE AFRAID>mfw literally smoking a batch of kippers and dont give a fuck about limp dick commies
>hiding from Mo'>Phone goes off>WARNING WARNING FUCKING HELL WILDFIRES INNIT>Get murdered
>>540780628Isn't the whole point of>BEEP BEEP BEEPmeant to make you shit bricks? Sounds like the glowies were doing you a favour.
I have two different recurring dreams, one has me getting chased by a wasp that I can't shake, the other is that a nuclear alert air raid siren is going off and I don't know what to do.I really didn't need that just for the sake of some wildfires that are nowhere near me.
>be me>fire up the disposable bbq for me bangers an beans>PM Plonker sends a fucking tactical nuke at my iphone 13 pro max>shart meself and knock the bbq onto some dead grass>12 people hospitalised, 3 dead
i dunno maybe reducing the fire brigade by 11,000 staff wasn't the brightest idea
FUCK YOU CANTS THAT'S A WARNING NOT AN EMERGENCY. I JUST GOT MY BABY ASLEEP AND YOU WOKE HIM
>they didn't think the government would abuse the alarm system on their cuck devices
that's itI'm gettin me mallet
>>540781051>cookingCooling
Idiots don't know the fable about the boy who cried wolf
>>540780818Is there a pidgin alert?
>>540780729The grass is still dry as a bone with no sign of rain so it is still a high risk. Also supposedly it is meant to get hot again at the start of September.
I can still hear my neighbours phone making that stupid noise.
Gov just pinged ya boi
>>540780893as if some nobhead who is gonna start a fire would see the alert put his baseball cap to his bare chest and change his mind
>>540780817yeah sick of the cuntsif there was a fire in the area, maybe - but for a risk of one because its summer is fucking ridiculousyou knew they would send it for shit like this because nothing really happens in the country for them to play with their new toy
>>540780527same herea severe emergency alert in a language most people cannot read, sent to millions of people, this gross incompetence probably just caused loads of distress
>have funding issues>send out a severe warning alert>do a bunch of people for looking at their phone while drivingBig brain Burnham
>>540775520that emergency text has hurt my heart bros, didn't think i would go out before even getting to the shelter.
>>540780993I was just thinking that
>>540781159we interrupt this angle-grinder session to bring you loud beeping
if only we could use HOSEPIPES to put out the wildfires
>Don't panic if you see smoke, it's just wildfires. It's deffo not muslims burning shit down. Also...everyone knoes that rail tracks start warping massively once the temp goes above 31deg.
>>540781146>supposedly it is meant to get hot again at the start of September.Where did you hear this? I can't take much more of this shit.
Turned off emergency alerts when they were doing it for the chink flu, wtf are you lads doing still having it on?
I suspect Thatcherism caused the wildfires
>>540780928>Joseph Gobbles
I guess the way to stop eco-terrorists starting wildfires is to remind them that right now is very definitely not a good time to start wildfires.
Why don't they just do some cloud seeding and make it rain? Or is that too advanced for us? Or will the jews not let us?
>>540781203>wildfire>man using hosepipe>female cop meme
>>540781051Deathly silence falls over the glassed, irradiated ruins of cities.Suddenly, ding-a-ling-a-ling. One man's old Nokia goes off.
>>540781120 E get serious gbege wey fit make fire scatter for whole country. People wey dey live for here, land owners and visitors no suppose do anytin wey fit start fire, like disposable barbecue, firepit, garden incinerator or fireworks. Even small fire fit quick turn big wildfire wey fit put people life, house, business, and emergency people for gbege.
My phone was on silent.And it still made that God awful beeping sound.
faggots getting alerts, git gud and graphene os and stop being a bitch
>>540781178they also sent one in engrish
Enjoy your little team meeting?
Happened like 30 minutes ago, let’s move on now
BWEEEEEEEEEEEEEP
>>540781211Met office "long range forecast".
>from where i was sitting i could see your belly
gis a nibble of your din dins lads
They're covering for the trains innit.>No don't look at chuffin' failin' infrastructure it's you and them chuffin' bbqs
THANK YOU FOR YOUR ATTENTION TO THIS MATTER!
Guys, a UK Government fire risk alert just flew over my house and crashed into the back garden, bursting into flames and setting the entire neighborhood on fire.
someone take the fuckin buzzer off him, sick of his shit
>>540781146>>540781211They've been fearmongering that the jetstream is supposedly on course to collapse and honestly it can't happen soon enough.Gimme those Canada temperatures.
>>540781179>multiple car crashes>car catches on fire>sets local trees ablazemasterful gambit mr burnham
Imagine how many people just crashed their cars trying to turn that fucking alert offI hope the news at 10 contains a number of wildfires caused by car crashes caused by the alert
>>540781179True you know this tech probably cost millions getting compliance across the various tech platforms. There's fuck all reason to use it because this country is a fucking nanny state
>>540781422Fucking cunts. I hope they're wrong, they really are a bunch of wankers.
>>540781447>failin' infrastructureya thunk?
>>540781481>andy here. Got the thick gravy going, lads. Thin southern gravy need not apply.
>>540781283Cloudbusters
>>540781257>wildfires increase after emergency text alert due to bored teenagers
>>540781363Dood you're so techy
>>540781474>UK Government"British" and "Britain" has been completely removed from institutional and normie vocabulary in a year. They don't even use Britain to refer to the island we live on-it has been renamed Yookay (despite Northern Ireland). Amazing.
>>540781507Filtered for trusting big brotherso be it
>>540781505That'll be 20% inheritance tax plus tip
>>540781481The North. Northern Alerts. Greggs. Northern wildfires. Gravy.
>>540781435if you fancy the jonas brothers cover your belly
>>540781073it’s all so blatant now. climate CRISIS, cost of living CRISIS. be terrified of heatwaves but do NOT install ac. weather map goes purple then black then grey on any area above 27c. constant warnings and advice on how to cope with perfectly manageable situations. sick of it all
>>540781498I hope so. I am not built for heat.
>>540781560>edgy teens giving mum 'n dad heart attacks by proxy
>New NRP kino just dropped https://x.com/i/status/2087540787286286718
>>540781507get that fookin noise off *rolls car over* blergh *dies in an inferno*
Gov knows WW3 is coming. So wanted to test the Alert system on something fairly innocuous like wild fires, to avpod panic. Stock up on Loo role lads.T. paranoid schizo
>>540781507maybe they should have pulled over before turning it off
>>540781053Heart attacks from unnecessary mobile alert counter: ?>>540781363don't want a warning when the rooskies finally send em?Betting psyops / "public perception data gathering" exercise, how many and who you contacted etc.
>>540781553based knower
>>540781676Do these pencilnecks not understand that uniformed political movements are banned in the UK?
My toes just got longer
>>540780423Labour still have the Autumn Budget which they refer to like some magical scroll that will resolve everything when asked about any detail or changes they are going to make. I can't see where new Labour voters could come from as a result of a budget that doesn't destroy the economy or raise our comparatively high borrowing costs where we default
>>540781665Everything is a crisis EXCEPT for immigration.
>>540781676holy fucking mega cringe
>>540781739unironically i don't think we're being paranoid enough. RAF Lakenheath is hosting new american 'surety dormitories' for nuclear weapons and they've changed their first strike doctrine
>>540781804>I can't see where new Labour voters could come fromOverseas.
>>540781676They're like a parody of a far right group from some shitty Netflix drama.
Jocks, do you wish you had our weather?
>>540781746At least a couple of hundred Boomers just shit themselves, as in literal shit came out of their arse from a loose bowl movement thinking this was 'it'.
>>540781211I know bro. This weather can fucking do one now, it's been like 3 months on and off. Sick of it. It's like living in some 3rd world shit hole
>>540781676Some of the NRP girls are cute desu
>>540781058at least the kai guy has 500 quid on running to spend unlike you alek. you haven't filed your accounts
Wouldn't it be funny if there really was a nuke inbou
When the nukes fall,will the pakis fuck off?
>>540781917>girls
I swear they weren't this long last time I saw them
>>540781975the opposite, thats when they activate
Am gonna...... Ammmm rrrrrRAAAININNNNNG
stopped using my phone a few months agowas it good?
>>540781975Still no, getting nuked is still preferable to be surrounded by their own kind
>>540781975You'd expect them to stay and double down on rape wouldn't you?
>>540781823They may have realised they've fucked the economy no matter what. A [limited exchange] could solve a lot of problems at once, AND lead to some sort of "never again" bullshit that makes it impossible to get out of the dystopian commie dictatorship which will follow.
>>540781973You'd be toasty by now. Takes about ten minutes from Russia.
>>540781975No. They'll just mutate into something worse.
>>540781676up the NRP!!!
>>540781891I only left the house to go to the cornershop yesterday, just 15 minutes exposed to the sun and I was a complete mess by the time I got back. I'm not built for this
>>540781801They're not if you're a glow op.
>>540782184>Superpakis
>>540780395only joking.. I LOVE TONY!!!
>>540781801Even the gov are laughing at these spackers, they're hardly gonna arrest a group of mentally disabled political larpers
>>540781891It's ruined my summer.
>>540782239Looks a bit gay, if I'm being honest.
>>540781801Yeah better not break any of the rules or we might ended being ethnically replaced even harder.
>>540782226Thinking about buying some bottled water so I can wet down the countryside and prevent another wildfire. Might take it viral.
>>540781739I have learned to stretch my butt cheeks to each side of the toilet seat to increase chances of minimal clean up, i now cannot poop any other way i'm ready
>>540781801You're terrified of the law. You're terrified of basically everything.
>>540781801Just shows they've got more balls than you, a bunch of gimps as you all say, got more balls than you. Who cares it it's illegal, what's been done to our nation is illegal, it's based.UP THE NRP!!!!
>>540782347see>>540782239for your "harder".Enjoy!
>>540782401>>540782426Lads let's be sensible now. The law is here to protect us all.
>>540782033Poofter eh?
>>540782426I liked the way he pretended he was speaking to a crowd but there was obviously nobody there
>>540782509Have you considered stand up comedy
>>540782531he was speaking to the volk
>>540782057When the mobile alert lands in arabic it's time to worry>>540782388Lift yer knees up on your tippy-toes and lean forward, straighten that colon son. Slips right out
>>540781676you have to wonder if looking incredibly autistic is some sort of camouflage strategy so they don't get banned
>>540782318
>>540782562I don't understand.
>>540782401>>540782426Just realistic. These guys are not going to storm an army barracks and seize the contents of the armoury. They're not going to blow up the MI5 building. They're not even going to burn down the scout hut they hire every Thursday for their meetings, and say an anarchist did it.It's correct to laugh at them.
>>540781739Vlad is nowhere to be seen, has been for a long time now
>>540782509I'm white.
>>540781572can I bum you
>>540782401Aye, anyone on twatter that has mentioned uniforms being illegal needs to be shunned, for obvious reasons I don't need to go into if you have a functioning brain.>>540782531Over 1 million views, scruffs brushed up, marching improving, flags not creased, atheistic setting, Yerbury rising
>>540782590Hail Cauldron!Hail victory!
>>540782590Didn't work for NA kek
>>540782388Been doing it years....
>>540782428So much aura it's unlawful lol
>>540782627But he just released his 2027 calendar magazine
>>540782636We have equality under the law in our country. There is no discrimination against anyone in modern Britain.
>>540781838if they got more Muslim MPs and spread the migrants out over the Electoral Wards with an open border or unlimited sponsorship, very light checks and automatic residency. Would need a couple of Million migrants and an early GE but it could work.
>>540782570This.
>>540782667>needs to be shunned, for obvious reasonsThe obvious reason being you're nazi larpers and therefore a complete waste of time when shit actually goes down.
>>540782738Oh. Can you tell the police that?
>>540782644No
>>540782622>storm an army barracks Why would you want to do that mate? You know someone who's mentioned wanting to do that?>seize the contents of the armoury. Why would you want to do that mate? You know someone who's seized the contents of the armoury armoury lately?>They're not going to blow up the MI5 buildingWhy would you want to do that mate? You know someone who's mentioned wanting to do that?
>>540782726did he do a month in a fireman's outfit
>>540781593glad i’m not the only one who’s noticed
>>540782667They got 19 votes last time, you think they can manage 25 next time?
>>540782838Got more balls than you lad, you'd be crying and deleting your social media with the amount of abuse they're getting. They believe in their cause and they're standing firm. I think this is what draws a lot of the abuse, like when people scratch a nice car for no reason, they just like to shit on people that show them up themselves. People like to think they'd stand firm for their beliefs, but most of you even when you didn't believe in covid wore a mask, followed the rules etc, so you hate see conviction, because you all have none yourself despite liking to believe you have.
>>540782872I don't understand. Why would I need to tell them something?
>>540781811they want you to be afraid of everything except the things you should be afraid of
>>540781438Been to the Chinky buffet
>>540783027>you'd be crying and deleting your social media with the amount of abuse they're getting.Oh no! They're getting abuse online? That's horrible!
>>540782667>Over 1 million viewsIt's literally just people laughing at them. They're the modern day SJW rekt type you'd see in videos back from fucking 2016
>>540782906go on, just a little bit
Can Burnham send out an alert for someone to bake or something
NRP waffle is consuming brit/pol/National Action was never talked about this much
>>540783183Cobra meeting?
>>540783154>1 postFuck off you stupid cuntNew thread was made but not linked for some mong reason: >>540782510
>>540783158There's a famous saying for that.First They Ignore You, Then They Laugh at You, Then They Attack You, Then You Win
>>540783027>Got more balls than you lad, you'd be crying and deleting your social media with the amount of abuse they're getting. They believe in their cause and they're standing firm. I think this is what draws a lot of the abuse, like when people scratch a nice car for no reason, they just like to shit on people that show them up themselves. People like to think they'd stand firm for their beliefs, but most of you even when you didn't believe in covid wore a mask, followed the rules etc, so you hate see conviction, because you all have none yourself despite liking to believe you have.They'll yield like dessicated tissue paper the instant they get a visit from the police.
>>540783268>>540783268>>540783268>>540783268
>>540783238For the NRP to win, Yerbs needs to lose his mantits and the rest of his sperg squad need to spend at least a year in the gym.
>>540783174Kill yourself and I'll think about it
>>540783224>>540783283You mongs fucked this up!!!
>>540783247More like you'd want them to, guess we'll have to see eh seeing as I've no doubt all of you based nationalists have phoned zog to report them for wearing matching shirts
>>540783329a homosexual necrophiliac, cute
First Britpol to 400 since WW2, let's goooo
>>540783524THE NRP EFFECT
Maintain Ze frontline!
>>540783566Zeig Yarbury
