John Candy>Height: 6'2">Weight: 350 lbs>Background: High school football lineman>Combat Advantage: Mass and 6-inch reach advantage>Fighting Style: Polite defensive brawlerChris FarleyHeight:>5'8"Weight: 300 lbs>Background: Competitive high school wrestler and rugby player>Combat Advantage: Elite grappling technique and explosive speed>Fighting Style: Chaotic aggressive grappler>The bell ringsCandy tries to use his reach to keep Farley at bay like a polite offensive lineman>Farley doesn't care about personal space or physics Immediately hits a textbook double-leg takedown with the force of a runaway freight train>The ground shakes, registering a 4.2 on the Richter scaleCandy tries to use his massive frame to absorb the impact and hold a defensive guardIt's useless>Farley has elite grappling technique and the agility of an Olympic gymnast trapped in a sumo wrestler's bodyFarley starts doing cartwheels and full splits on Candy's chest just to flex>Absolutely chaotic, unhinged wildcard energyCandy is a literal gentle giant and realizes he forgot to bring any malice to a fistfightFarley secures full mount and dominates the ground game with pure explosive speed>Candy taps out to save what's left of the canvasChris Farley wins by absolute physical deletionWhat party would they be in if they were still alive? Idk about candy but I think farley would be a fuentes guy.
>>540963271Size is an enormous advantage and that much extra reach gives it to Candy no question
This is why we need more data centers?
>>540963271>File: Screenshot_20260817_15283a shitskin made this thread
>>540963574So your a tranny fucker huh? Name a single time any shit skin has ever said anything about Chris farley or John candy. Its a screenshot kiddo, not an H1B application.
>>540963271AHAHAHAHAH neither, both of those fat fucks die of a heart attack as soon as they exert themselves
I like Chris Farley better but John Candy is a good actor as well.
>>540964501Every fucking time. You curryniggers can't resist the bait.
My dad hung out with John Candy one time and didn't know who he was. They went out partying in New Orleans, and my dad obviously could tell he was famous by all the reactions he was getting. When he got home, he had told my mom, but just that he was, "some famous guy named John." They ended up putting on a movie one time and was like, "Hey, that's John!"
>>540963271I fucking love that Uncle Buck film.
BTW Chris Farley is Joe Rogan.
>>540963574What the hell was going on there?
>>540963389Reach is a meme especially in close range between fat boys. Theyre both pushing 300 so Im taking the guy with a wrestling background
>>540967104My dad works for Nintendo and I can therefore confirm your dad was telling the truth.
You said fist fight now you are including grappling? If grappling is allowed then chris farley wins easy due to pedigree. If its fists only it would get ugly for chris farley fast.
This thread was moved to >>>/bant/24851009
