so woke up hungover at full glory this aft and did what any god fearing Christian man would do and jerked a quick one. Reached to get my cum sock and Jesus fuck wouldn’t you know those little faggot ants were all in it. Absolutely swarming. Stupid me: freaked out and tossed the crusty ant covered sock on the bed and those fuckers just went crazy, scattering over the sheets and duvet all over the fucking place so now my bed is full of cum crazed insects.You might remember earlier this month:> I got pretty fucked up and passed out right after I jacked off, and in the morning I woke up on the ground with hundreds of ants feasting on my cum. I mean it was like whole fucking farm was crawling on my cock and belly (a few tickling my asshole woke me up) and I was just so stunned I just watched it. This writhing mass collecting my semen. I’ve been on a juice diet, so that plus the beer must have made it a pretty attractive substance, some super pineapple mango protein sugar shit. There’s a spiderbro in the corner that i swear was looking at me with utter contempt, and wouldn’t have anything to do with it though it was pretty much an ant buffet. I finally brushed a bunch away and showered all this shit off. I figure the ants now have a taste for human cum and know where I live, so I’m heading out to get a bunch of ant poison traps to shoah the little fuckers. God damn cum eating faggit ants.Now I’m pretty certain these cum eating ants are addicted to my protein and fruit rich jism. Ngl im a bit scared. Obviously the ant queen demands more. For what purpose I do not know. But there is no stopping them. The risk of a Zerg-like full invasion in my whole home seems likely. Gonna go on an asparagus cleanse. And buy some highly toxic ant spray to shoah the fuckers properly. It might not be enough. Fucking cum-addicted faggit ants.Pray for me /pol/
>>542248224back in my day it was all about "show, don't tell"[beecock.jpg]
>>542248224Didn’t really read the whole thing but it got me thinking why doesn’t some company make a sock shaped tissue similar to pic related? Something flushable that won’t rip or stick in a vaguely tube shape.
>>542248224Ants (insects in general) breathe through pores in their skin.Thus, dishwasher soap tend to suffocate them by clogging their air in-takes.You should jerk off using soap as lube. It worked for me, but I suspect you enjoy getting your cum eaten.
>>542248224All I hear is 5000 counts of animal sexual abuse. Go to prison
>>542248224
>>542249103>grab a 1000 pack of cum tubes>cute girl at the registerWat do?
>>542249658The polite thing to do would be to offer her some. Girls cum too ya know
>>542248224based amts
I just use paper tissues these dayscum socks are just an anachronism
>allows ants to BTFO his coom collection
>>542248224what if you make a piezo electric floor and cum onto it and so when the ants crawl all over to eat your cum they generate electricity so you can shitpost on 4chan for free
>>542248224Worker ants aren't male
>>542248224>o woke up hungover at full glory this aft and did what any god fearing Christian man would do and jerked a quick one.>Memeflag>weird sexual post claiming to be a "god fearing Christian" while talking about cum and masturbatingHow's the weather on your stolen land, kike-demon?
This thread was moved to >>>/bant/24955734
