I grew up in the city and was based when I was a kid/teenager, but got it slowly beaten out of me through psychological torture/ostracization and replaced with zogrape ideology>t. "ex-chud that saw the truth"The whole time I knew I was lying to myself, but I was convinced that "human nature should be overcome for the greater good of humanity", and I was so downtrodden and desperate to fit inAfter I could no longer take the lies and got burned by one too many low IQ normies, I started reverting to my natural state in solitude, became based again, cut off all my old friends, and am now even further to the right than I ever was as a kidI have become something resembling an actual man, am living according to nature, happier than ever despite being lonelyDevoting myself to art, family, the pursuit of knowledge and truth, and spiritual developmentHowever I espoused things I have come to understand are horrible, and hooked up with about 12 womenThat is to say, how can one reconcile something like this with wanting to live a moral life going forward? Foids and zograped retards would just call it "baggage" and suggest I go to therapy, though my soul is disgusted by whoredom, and deep down I was disgusted with myself even when partaking in it.I am ready to move on but I am worried any potentially decent social connections, nominally trad (or not zograped) foids etc would be disgusted, rightfully soI don't want to be alone or a social pariah the rest of my life, especially people that have similar values, even if there is value in lonelinessBut on the other hand I am too much of a moralfag to simply lie to others when pressedwat do /pol/? Is salvation possible in this instance or do I deserve to rot for what I have done? I'm not even a christcuck per se, but I believe there is divine justice and ordinance.>inb4 not politicsIt is. This is an important political and spiritual question about the condition of modern man.>inb4 kill yourself faggotI know
>>544766532Feeling? Emotions? You got a long way to go before you're a man.
>>544766983Go die in a ditch. Bloody retard you dont understand what emotions are. Everything in this world are made for our benifit but it is imperfect and prone to fail it's intented purpose(there for allowing to knowledge of good and evil to be experienced and said experience will be like a "test") because of the fall. Being a man means to respect his own emotion for rejection makes you unable to understand others and the world around you. But still know when you have to push through even in pain or discomfort for what you believe is right. Your retardation leads to genostic nonsense. muh the world is evil look evil emotions.
>>544766532Understand that human is both a causer of realities and a victim from someonelse's actions. Therefore do not make those false judgenents of yourself. Understand what you did was bad so stop from doing it and try to be better is good enough for we live in a fallen world that allows good and evil. You assume you can only live morally if you had not done these things is false. You can and you should live morally but if you are still unable to make amend with yourself then you should confess to an orthox priest or ask jesus for forgiveness. You have said christians are cucks but you should try to read the bible and know true christian theology before critising said religion. God defines Morality otherwise it is just arbitary feelings like "intuition". There will also be woman who had your experience or woman who will still love you if you truly change yourself for the better and radiating "life-aura" from said positive change. You can only seek true salvation from god. And he is waiting for you. Your worldview will aways be defective and make problems for you if you are not orthox christian. Seek solutions in eanest and the lord will deliver nothing is hopeless except you litterly getting killed physically or mentally but by that point you will not fear death. Understand that everyone can make mistake in this world to teach us that creature can not rule themselves and we need god for paradise .a priest might not be good willed towards you but do what helps you and you needn't follow everything he says be a christian to the lord and ask the priest for things he demands of you and learn the faith. This is the only path. May the lord open your eyes.
