I am one of only a couple of hundred people in the country who is involved in the data pipeline that determines use of the Presidential Emergency Satchel (the "football"). Typically, the way it works is that passive, external, multimessenger, multimidal data streams are synthesized by the team and sent to the President's attendants. However, tonight, we received a signal in the opposite direction; i.e., the President's office demanded an inquiry into specific subsystems of our sensors (spoiler: they're the Iranian subgroup). I have been employed with my current institution for nearly 40 years and have handled the nuclear football system for a little over a decade. In all my time working on this unit, I have never even heard mention of something like this happening. It could just be random Trump nonsense, but I am personally taking shelter and have just made a pretty heavy grocery run.I hope this isn't it, but if it is, it's been an honor shitposting with you, gentlemen.
>>545402108multimodal*
>>545402108Whatever anon. Do you really think it will change anything? The IRS is already prepared for nuclear war.
>>545402108>have just made a pretty heavy grocery runwhat alcohol did you take ?
Good
>>545402647I bought a single bottle of Valpolicella to share with the wife if the fireworks do indeed start going off.
DROPPPA DE BOMB NIGGA WOOOOOOOOOY DEM A IRANIAN BE A BAD MAN
All in. Again.
>>545402108So that makes you like 60 years old? Browsing 4chan? /pol/ no less?? AND you're using the meme happening image???Yeah ok bro, keep me posted.Tea leaves all over
>>545402108Your IP has been tracked (VPN LOL) Your security clearance has bee revoked and we are coming for you.
>>545402519>>545402108>mfw i still get rejected by chicks in the apocalypse
>>545402108>30 happening threads a day>0 come true or have any impactI'M GETTING TIRED OF WAITING
Yeah man, plenty of people in their 60s on 4chan. They've been here since the 00's back when they were in their 40s. Especially 60 year olds that have held important positions for decades, they love 4chan and post all the time. This would absolutely be this first thing they do to get the message out.
>>545403612I'll buy your house for $105k
>>545402108Fake and gay.Nothing ever happens.
>>545402108Trump is also warming up the earthquake machine
>>545402108neat LARP.
It will just be 1 B-61 Mod 13. Putin already knows. Maybe they made a trade "I nuke Iran, you nuke Ukraine". Maybe we will Zap them. That would be ideal. I would spend the next week on /k/ with I told you so threads.
>>545402519>Someone ITT has read Raven Rock as well
>>545403251Will owning silver make someone attractive to women during the apocalypse?
>>545402108iranians hacked the nuclear football is probably the silliest grift of all time the reality is that there's no such thing as hacking the nuclear football. how it works is a complete and total mystery and how it continues to work is also a complete and total mystery it probably changes every 2 years and even the fact that it changes is probably ultra classified, Hoodini himself combined with the most elite hacker in the world couldn't hack the nuclear football. you might as well say you have a 5 foot long dick, because that's more realistic than hacking the nuclear football
>>545402932And what happens then? Its great and all to warn us that Trump is politically senile, utterly corrupted by foreign interests, and incapable of intelligent decision making, but we also read the news and that isn't exactly news at this point. The only question that matters is: what comes next in your educated opinion?
OP is Q, look at his ID!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
>>545403959deploy the zapper. i know it must be ready by now
>>545404000I'll check it out anon. I actually just read the preparedness reports.
>>545404172Its a permissive action link node with signing authority for launch codes. Missile control software is hardlocked to the frequencies it can generate. There are a few of them and they all work the same way. No launch code, no launch. If that is defeated the cores can't be armed without the right codes. Each one is wired differently and only the permissive action link control modules can turn them on. Even if you stole a core you couldn't get it to work properly.>Although rumint was that they have a manual failsafe option. Apparently the default code was 000000 or something like that. Who knows if that is true though.
Attention everybody, I am one of only a couple of hundred people whose uncle works at Nintendo and I regret to inform you that Bowser has control of the nuclear codes. It has been an honor shitposting with you.
>>545403959Lmao, a gravity dropped dumb bomb. Over a country we have been unable to suppress their air defenses? Not going to happen unless they are truly retarded.
>>545403941Why are people posting polymarket tweets like they are a reliable source of information?
>>545404782i trust them more than 95% of journos/news orgs
>>545402108Nukes aren't real
>>545403673I know what I got>>545404182How the fuck should I know? All I know is I'm laying low and taking leave until the midterm drama clears up. Hanging out in my storm shelter playing HoMM3
>>545402151>multimodal*multichodal
>>545404782As has been demonstrated for years now, the very people in the know and in control of these geopolitical events are actively betting on the very incidents THEY ARE DOING.
>>545405125So you are close enough to know top secret info but you aren't able to formulate even the most basic bitch opinion about nuclear warfare.>Your larp sucks anon.
>>545405488I am a data analyst not a full-time /pol/ schizo. If you have such great "basic bitch" opinions, fill us in
Is the wet bulb temperature tipping you off
>>545402108So 2 more weeks. Got it.
>>545405125>Hanging out in my storm shelter playing HoMM3
>>545405561You ever watch|listen a gentleman named Galen Winsor? Highly recommend.
>>545405652Lol. The sensors we have could literally blow your mind
>>545405788They have the actual original game on iPads now. Shit is addictive.
>>545402108Let 'em FLY!!!
>>545403133Hey, I'm 58. We OG are here.
>>545404182Like they ever tell you the "news". You get real news off of /pol/ and Youtube channels.
>>545405707>So 2 more weeks.2 more days.
>>545406005Damn unc>t. 39
>>545404109Son all you'll need is a mercury dime and all of those single well to do mother's and their questionably underaged daughters will be all over your cock, you won't be able to get them off of it.
American nigger jews are so fucking cringe and embarrassing. I wish japmoot would range ban all of usa.
>>545406134>Like they ever tell you the "news".Kek, this. I accidentally caught the news on TV the other day. Nothing about the riots all around Europe, nothing about the political crisis in Poland, nothing about those warnings to stockpile a week's worth of food, basically nothing except for bullshit like the prime minister visiting some random-ass construction site for an opening ceremony, two random football clubs played a match and it ended with a score of 2-2, some village of 100 people got a new school, blah blah.No wonder normies think I'm some sort of oracle when I tell them what they're going to see in the news next week. Meanwhile I'm just a random shitposter on an image board.
>>545404262If they can zap some North Koreans, they can surely zap some Iranians. This time everyone is watching, though>>545404329It's good>>545404617Literally the only nuclear option. It was designed specifically with these facilities in mind.
>>545405816No. Where to start?
>>545403612There’s all types here, anon. Back in the day I knew millionaires who lurked. I’m sure OP is a lying faggot too but don’t discount old heads as posters.
>>545402108>Glownigger is scared You get what you deserve
>>545402108Make it nuke Israel please, thanks. -jesus christ
>>545406617The delivery system is one of a few plane options. None of which work. Which is why we used standoff munitions extensively not JDAMs.and when we ran out of standoff munitions we lost more planes in a day than the entire rest if the war. So who volunteers for a oneway suicide mission to nuke Iran?
>>545406800I'd genuinely be interested in your take on him. He gave lectures in the 80's. Go to YouTube and type in "Galen Winsor". You'll see a bunch of videos that people have uploaded. Any one of them are worth watching and unironically highly fascinating.
>>545407245Ohhhhh this guy. Are you asking if I think nukes are fake? Lmao. No
IN ENGLISH, DOC!
>>545404228Oy vey
>>545407011Do you not remember last summer when 7 B-2 bombers flew to Iran and dropped a bunch of GBU-57 conventional bombs on Iran's nuclear facilities with no problems?If Trump decided to go nuclear, they would use those exact same stealth bombers except this time they would be dropping B61-11 nuclear bunker busters.
>>545407483No. He doesn't say they are fake. I have no idea where people got that from. He goes into the industry itself and he says that's the regulations and how they were created are what is fake. Absolutely worth watching.
>>545402108GO TO CHEYENE MOUNTAIN COMPLEX NOWTHE AYATOLLAH IS RIGHT ABOUT ORANGE NIGGERMEDS NOW
>>545403612It's true though, my Uncle Nintendo told me so
>>545408161Nukes are ancient vedic tech saar
>>545408161Ok I'll give him a try. I try to be open minded about stuff but nukes are absolutely real and the earth is not flat. Not that you were suggesting either
>>545402108Sure you are, and sure you did. Good luck not killing yourself tomorrow night, faggot.
>>545402108You're a faggot who lies
>>545402519Based image. Nukes can't kill you if don't believe in then.. NEH
>>545408467even if you werent larping what makes you think you have any authority to rule out whether nukes are real or not? you're a midwit middle man at best (but we all know you're a larping uncle intel tier faggot)
>>545402108HOLY SHIT A FOOTBALL NUKE JUST FLEW OVER MY HOUSE
Bix nood
>>545406449
>>545402108Hope they tell us when the nukes are coming in, I'm gonna stand on my roof. I refuse to participate in whatever gay, raping, stealing, murdering, torturing, world war 3, civil war 2, bullshit post nukes. Kikes can rule over the ashes on their throne of shit and whatever mixed raced creatures are left.
>>545408785I plan on fucking my sister.
>>545402108So we're going to nuke Iran and then we're in danger of nuclear blowback from Russia or something? What's the dealio?
>>545402108I laid some pipe in your momma last night.
>>545408785RT had joke tv interviews about war plans for invading ukraine, then SMO happened.Russian alert system sent put notifications about nukes (allegedly hack) and then
>>545409154We'll know in two weeks
>>545409154Iran has nukes already most governments prefer to pretend tactical nukes with minimal residual radiation have not been used.
>>545402108iran is far away you donkey, how could you get this job. for the fallout to reach you this would take like 5 days or so maybe even a whole week.you need IODINE. dont forget it.
>>545402108you can only be one or two guys. they will know who you are you donkey.what is the benefit of telling this to 20 nazis.
>>545402108I am one of only a couple of hundred people on the moon who is involved in the chinese earthquake pipeline that determines use of the AEIOU Emergency Satchel (the "John Madden Football"). Typically, the way it works is that passive, external, multimessenger, multimidal data streams are synthesized by the team and sent to the AEIOU attendants. However, tonight, we received a signal in the opposite direction; i.e., the AEIOU office demanded an inquiry into specific subsystems of our sensors (spoiler: they're the Iranian subgroup). I have been employed with my current institution for nearly 40 years and have handled the John Madden Football system for a little over a decade. In all my time working on this unit, I have never even heard ERBRBRBRBRBRBRBRBRBRB. It could just be random AEIOU nonsense, but I am personally taking shelter and have just made a pretty heavy grocery run.I hope this isn't it, but if it is, it's been an honor laughing for real right now, gentlemen.
>>545409785GET TO YOUR GOONCAVE NOW
>>545404109>Will owning silver make someone attractive to women during the apocalypse?you cant eat it, drink it or fuck it....so probably not
>>545402108Iran doing anything to America is stupid because then it would make the American people want to go to war with Iran.
Reminder that the ayylmaos won't allow total nuclear war
>>54540313355yo oldfag here. active user of 4chan since 2004. yes TWENTY TWO fucking years of being on 4chan. and i'm just fine. found /pol in like 2011. if 4chan is still around, it is highly likely that you will be here reading posts from baby anons like yourself. when you do, remember me.
>>545404883you're fucking stupid do you not even know who runs these betting platforms
>>545402108you wont do shit because i already did, jew.
>>545408681I can derive every equation governing the behavior of thermonuclear reactions from first principles using Lagrangian densities and Quantum Field Theory as a starting point. You could too if you spent time learning instead of jerking it to 4chan trannies. Nukes are real.
>>545404109You can finally rapemaxx
>>545408028And remember when they didnt fly there again because the Iranians had their IADS on? B2s are good first strike weapons when your enemy doesnt have their guard up. They are sitting ducks the very moment any Iranian SAMs turn on. Even if they get there and drop the nuke, at that very moment the IaDs around the country will turn on and the giant B2 will be found and ganked.So how about you volunteer for the suicide mission?
>>545410479>2026>still believes aliens are ufos and not the break away civilization epstein fever dream that it blatantly is
>>545403133I'm 69, posting since Ron Paul, so stfu youngling.
>>545410479Whew, thanks - I feel so much better now
>>545402108The big joke is that if the US nuked Iran it wouldn't change the situation in the Gulf at all or in the military conflict at all. The international backlash against the US would be phenomenal however and move the ball quite far in that respect.tl;dr: don't believe the hype
>>545410052
>>545408467>but nukes are absolutely real and the earth is not flat.comfiness unaffected by fearmongering larp
>>545402108fake gay and kys op
>>545412481Papa smurf lookin ass bastard>>545412629I had an uncle that believed flat earth. He would send me the most insane videos including videos ironically making fun of flat earth. People look at flat earthers like they are complete retards, because they are. The whole approach is to "poke holes" in the globe model, pretend you don't understand the explanations, then ignore all inquiries about the flat earth model (why are the Sun and Moon not visible together at all times of day? Why is it daylight in Australia right now? How long is a flight from Buenos Aires to New Zealand?)
>>545410479Correction they absolutely will allow the use of nuclear weapons, law of free will/confusion and all that. They won't let the aftermath completely void souls which is a side effect of the trauma caused on a time/space level caused by nuclear weaponry. Knots of fear are a bitch to undue in the metaphysical and entire planetary populations have been known to get into these knots for millions of years because of nuclear and crystalline weapons. They will be on hand for the aftermath of nuclear destruction to make sure whatever knots form are undone as quickly as possible and that souls are healed.
>>545412881How many of the covid vaccines did you take?>why are the Sun and Moon not visible together at all times of day?the same reason modern smart phone cameras have zoom... your eye can only decode so much information before details fade out in the horizon.>Why is it daylight in Australia right now?because the sun is over austrailia????>How long is a flight from Buenos Aires to New Zealand?i don't have a long enough measuring stick but you can track them on flight radar or adsb exchange and then you can ask yourself why that exact flight requires a layover in Portugal or Spain and not like... South Africa...?
>>545412881OP, im curious what you would think of this reddit post i've come across recently(heads up, the OP of the post claims to be from a non english-speaking country, and says they used AI to translate their post to english)https://www.reddit.com/user/KnowingGuy4585/comments/1w93xex/throwaway_i_work_adjacent_to_government/
>>545413402(to be clear, i don't particularly believe it, but i find it somewhat interesting regardless)
>>545413449>>545413402>using reddit
>>545402108You're a lying ass, your feet stink, and you don't love Jesus.
>>545413598I Don't have a reddit account, and alot of subreddits are either entirely or mostly garbage of one kind or another
>>545413320You're retarded. I'm unvaxxed btw
>>545413402Sorry anon I don't use reddit. If you qrd me I'll read it
>>545403959You wouldn’t make it a day before being banned by the bootlicking Jannie faggors of that god forsaken glowboard
>>545404172Nukes are fake faggot
>>545414454I Could give you a wayback machine link instead
>>545402108Did you know that a classic sign that someone is lying is excessive detail? Yep, when someone is lying they include extra detail that a person telling the truth wouldn't care to mention until prompted
>>545415293Eh ill edit a image of the redditors post instead
>>545415293>>545415466Sure but please put it in pidgin english so I don't lose interest
>>545403612literal celebrities use 4chan, at least before the jeet infestation ruined it
>>545415544I feel like this is a stealth Annie Jacobsen's ad for Biological War because the plague outbreak didn't work out.
>>545402108Happenings tongue my anus
>>545402108Oh yeah? Post proof of your grocery haul otherwise nice LARP.
>>545403612I don't believe that this is some DIA fag shitposting about nuclear war. It's not rocket science to know he's been considering it, especially since this is quite literally the only (((acknowledged))) option to get to these facilities.
We're all old foghats
I live in Western NY and power went out for about 10 secs. Weather is crystal clear...
>>545403612>out of the millions of boomers there arent atleast a few thousand who can find and use 4chanIn 30 and for years I’ve shown my norman friends this site and they literally refuse to even attempt as they can’t grasp how threads work >what do you mean theres no point system>how do you know which post is worth reading?It’s all so tiresome
>>545402108Can you take me out of the simulation?
>>5454036124chan is a Gen X board.
>>545402108
>>545402108Godspeed Mr PES Dispenser
>>545412881i bet you took the vax and are triple boostered too lmaofucking FAGGOT
>>545415544Very funny, anyway here is the thing i edited together
>>545402108>openly admitting hes a zogbot who works for a jewish pedophile who works for jewish pedophilesreally arent sending their best
>>545416828we get it, youre jewish
>>545416828See: >>545414370(Says straight they are unvaxxed)Get better material, glowie
>>545417612
>>545402108AI clearly wrote all that nonsense.
>>545417780>glowie
>>545402108yeah ok red deer LARPing faggot
Iran has a space program and in theory could hit anywhere in the world with a suborbital space craft. An emp nuke would probably be their best bet as it would cause absolute chaos in the U.S. and you would see everyone murdering each other if there was no power.
Nothing ever happens
>i've been doing this super important and top secret job for 40 years but this one time i felt it was necessary to post about it on 4chanCool story, fag.
>>545402108>nukular sploogeballNukes aren't real, jewish faggot.
>>545417951
>>545403941i live in northern california, whole life. theres no earthquakes. we've had like one throughout my whole life back when i was kid, thats it. they say we get like 5-10 earthquakes a day, its bullshit. i dont know why they even call them earthquakes. symptoms of a dying culture with a dying language i would think. in normal circumstances you have two seperate terms i.e. simmer and boil, to seperately distinguish between whats tangible and intangible. but we dont have that anymore. christcucks handed jews control of the money, jews buy up all the dictionaries and just jeeted it all up.
>>545402108If The Retard in Chef nukes Iran, itll just cause everyone against US to start to make their own nukes.
>>545417951>Devil.
>>545418023If there is no power in the US the rest of the world isn't going to see shit. They might be able to smell all the rotting corpses from across the ocean, however
>>545417392What do you think his/her nationality is? I'm guessing German.
>>545418335Thats what it seems to me as well
>>545408467Lol what shape is the earth bro? Explain to me how our earth atmosphere can be surrounded by an unlimited vaccuum with no barrier. Pretty please. I would love one of you super smart science lovers to share this magic with me
>>545418649Gravity, as in the thing that keeps you from floating off into space, also keeps the atmosphere from leaving, thouh it loses pressure as you go further up until it becomes practically a vacuum
>>545418741Retard
>>545415544Anon, you still around? I wanna hear more from you.
>>545419183doubt it, he hasn't replied to anything in the last 90 minutes
>>545419081
>>545418741sure thing lil broare you on your octuple booster vax yet?
>>545408334My dad works with your uncle Nintendo and says that he's had a drinking problem ever since the accident
>>545403612I tend to believe posts like OP's because I know there are people in the White House who post or used to post on /pol/ (in 2016).
whats up with the globetard aussies ITT?aussies used to be basedis it some weird thing about that retard meme where aussies are on the southern "hemisphere"? youre not special guysland down under my assyoure on the same plane as everyone else
>>545402108My uncle works in Nintendo and says your uncle sucks cock.
>>545419390Unvaxxed regarding COVID, Didn't trust how fast the mRNA Vaccines were developed and the opaque nature of the approval process
>>545402108Trump's personal, little Samson Option?I'm inclined to believe it.
>>545402108Finally
>>545402108>I hope this isn't it, but if it isEven if the US launches a nuke at Iran, why would you assume that all adversarial nuclear nations will collectively launch nukes at the US, and why would you assume they couldn't all be intercepted?
>>545419584i bet you truly believe this shit
>>545417392Spoopy. tl/dr something might happen in November involving the pope/russia, astral phenomenon panicking many, and crop harvests, fulfilling 10+ year old religious prophecy.Seems a bit useless due to lack of specifics about what happens and how to prepare. Vagueposting is annoying
:^)
>>545417392>>545419778I think plebbit OP was thinking about Our Lady of Fátima, the Miracle of the Sun, and the Consecration of Russia. See:https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Our_Lady_of_F%C3%A1tima
>>545417392IM THINKIN BOUT THOSE BEANS
Any social media reposts should be an autoban.
>>545409910>And then I saw your flag...>Now I'm a Belieber!>Not a trace >of doubt in my mind
>>545411604based and Georgia Guidestones pilled
>>545402108If this isn't a LARP (who am I kidding, of course it's a LARP), expect the MIB any minute now.
