> be me> family reunion at the old homestead in rural Tennessee> great-grandpappy’s legendary "Root & Smoke" BBQ sauce is simmering on the cast-iron stove> the whole kitchen smells like heaven, pure hickory and ancient Appalachia> my son asks me, "Dad, what makes it taste so uniquely rich and smoky?"> i smile, putting a weathered, grease-stained leather notebook on the counter> this recipe, son, has been in our family since the pioneers crossed the Cumberland Gap> it was passed down from father to son for five generations> we start with 1 cup of high-fructose corn syrup harvested from the sacred Iowa monoculture fields by our ancestors in 1842> next we add 2 tablespoons of monosodium glutamate foraged by my great-great-uncle from wild crystal-lodes deep in the hinterlands> then we mix in 3 dashes of polysorbate 60 hand-churned by pioneer women using traditional emulsification stones> pour in 50ml of propylene glycol alginate extracted from heritage-breed seaweed by moonlight> stir in 1 tbsp of sodium benzoate preservative blessed by a traveling preacher in the depression era> throw in artificial smoke flavor containing benzene derivatives smoked over a slow-burning tire fire just like the old country> add a dash of red 40 and yellow 5 coaxed from pristine petroleum deposits by rugged mountain folk> finish it off with dimethylpolysiloxane anti-foaming agent handed down in a clay jar from the old country> i wipe a tear from my eye thinking about the blood, sweat, and chemical synthesis that went into every drop> son looks up at me with deep reverence, teeth already dissolving into a grey paste> eat up, boy, i whisper to him> you're tasting history
>legendary homemade gramp family recipe is just a bottle bought at the martOh america.
>>545846256I thought this was liquor and almost took another shot, should I do it anons?
>>545846397i hate fancy vodka, it's so gay and pretentious
>>545846463This 1.75 was on sale for $10, or are you being facetious
>>545846494the bottle alone says pretentious and freeze filtered says gay
>>545846397i also thought it was liquor and was gonna do the same. gonna go to bed instead
>>545846463>fancy vodkaMade by fancy potatoes.
>>545846547It was literally 10 USD for a 1.75 what aren't you understanding you fucking shit fin
>>545846256Faking old multiple generations is just marketing in America.Tito's Vodka is made by "5th Generation LLC" or some shit but they put it on the bottle to imply it is some old American regional family run business and not something some brown guy created in 2014.Many such cases. And even America's truly old brands are just legal names passed around like trailer park whores - often owned by foreign money.
>>545846617tito's isnt even vodka, it is moonshine. cant be considered vodka if it is made of corn, which tito's is
>>545846617Oh fuck ive been drinking titos for a long time, youre telling me it was made by a non white? Fuck i need to quit. God fucking damn it.
>>545846463>>545846397Marketing is everything in America.By which i mean tricking the goyim.
>>545846609that vodka that tries to be fancy is gay and pretentious and judging by your hissy fit you are having right now even the people who drink vodka are gay and pretentious little fairies
I will only use Aunt Jemima syrup. It reminds me of a time when large black women were cooks on the plantation and made damn good pancakes and grits. Also they were terminally happy and joyful and the white kids in the family loved their black auntie.
>>545846697Would you really prefer a black nanny or cook over a white one?
>>545846680Im simply stating finnigger, it was 10 dollars for a plastic 1.75, do you refuse pussy because the woman wore make up? How did cheap vodka hurt you? Youre becoming hysterical over nothing, just let it go, also what brand of vodka do you drink?
>>545846772>>545846697I heard black house nigger women even used to breast feed infant whites could you fucking imagine? That is 100% not ok and id probably go on a killing spree if i found out it happened to me.
>>545846818lol breast milk has no race.
>>545846818Upper class Anglo whites would do ANYTHING to maintain their lifestyle which requires a huge number of servants.
>>545846880Thats like saying liquor doesnt have a brand
>>545846818Do you not know what a wet nurse is?
>>545846978Thats so fucking disgusting I took another shot, are you happy nigger?
>>545847042Also someone needs to make a bottle with a cap that doubles as a shot glass how is this not a thing yet
Fuck you niggers bump the thread
>>545846256POWERFUL.
>>545848815That tranny still ate the burrito btw
