Let's bring back a classic.You have been placed in charge of a professional wrestling television show, for some reason. But - oh no! - thanks to a contractual error, you will receive a payment of one hundred million dollars, but only if you get your show permanently cancelled on your first night on the job!/pw/, it is your moral obligation to get your show cancelled immediately. What show are you running and how are you going to do it?
>>20783448Dead air from the first second. No content whatsoever. No reason for anyone to keep watching. No reason for anyone to curiously take a peek. Just nothing
>>20783448I walk out to the ring by myself. I grab the mic. I say the word. Over and over again.
>>20783448set up an angle where a "nazi" wrestler pretends to shoot gisele shaw with a machine gun. then, at the last minute, load the machine gun with real bullets and adjust the trigger to maximum sensitivity. make sure to laugh like crazy on commentary and scream LOL HE'LL DEFINITELY NEVER BE A WOMAN NOW! and then, when they come and ask you how the ugliest man in wrestling became bloody swiss cheese, blame it on the illegal alien janitor and get him deported to el salvador.
>>20783448Have the entire show just be me playing with wrestling figures and doing their voices, while also doing commentary, crowd noise, entrance music and sound effects. I would use pic rel as the ring.
Effy vs Bobby Fish main event before the lights inevitably have issues and I tell the crowd to please enjoy a dark match between Deonna and Serena deeb
>>20783886Careful, that's likely to land you a multi-season deal (and thus no hundred milly payout)
Dolph Ziggler enters the arena and says the word
>>20783448A Tribute to the Troops episode for Hamas and Hezbollah with October 7 hype video packages and a live musical performance from that Irish commie wigger band that keeps working Britbong Jews into a shoot
>>20783448I'd hire TBK and just let him rant about jews
>Michael Cole kicks off Raw, "Welcome, everyone, to Monday Night Raw! We've just received word that if you continue to watch this show, it means you are a child rapist!">Wade Barrett reacts in confusion, "Hang on a minute, Cole, you mean everyone who doesn't tune out immediately fucks kids?">"Indeed, Wade. And, now, on with the show!">Out comes Sami Zayn. He grabs a mic.>"I have something to get off my chest. And that is that President Donald J. Trump is a big pussy. Not because he's a right-wing dipshit, but because he is too cowardly to fuck children all day long and every night. I know he'll see this and his cowardice will be revealed. Also he doesn't go hard enough on minorities.">Our first match is Nia Jax versus Anya Rune in a Smell My Cunt match, where the loser has to get a real deep niff of the winner's minge.>The match goes for twenty minutes of botches, cringe and fat. Nia goes over and Anya is forced to inhale her cunny which she hasn't washed since Thursday. Nia then takes a fat shit on Anya's face and says "Uwu that, you fucking prick.">Lyra Valkyria is shot. This still fails to get her over.>Seth Rollins minces out to the ring wearing a shirt that says "GAY TWAT." He picks his nose and eats it before declaring if anyone is still watching they can fuck off and the president of Netflix is a child molester, and that all television executives are part of a Middle Eastern cartel who wants to control the minds of America's youth to make them have sex with dogs.>Our second match is Oba Femi versus Maxxine Dupri in a Vicious Bloody Stabbing Match. Oba goes over at 7:49 after poking Maxxine in the sclera with a knitting needle.>Triple H comes out and asks if we are ready. He then farts really loudly into the microphone for twelve minutes.>Backstage, Austin Theory is dressed as a high-ranking SS officer. He says Hitler did nothing wrong and declares this is the actual belief of Austin Tyler White, not the fictional character of Austin Theory.
>>20784227>We get a recap of SmackDown in which Rhea Ripley vomits into Jade Cargill's mouth and drops the N-bomb two or three times I'm pretty sure.>Our third contest is a Loser Gets Hit By A Bus Match between main roster debut Mason Rook and Paige. Paige wins with a roll-up. Mason Rook is then hit by a bus - which is travelling vertically downwards, being dropped from the ceiling. This takes the ring crew a while to clean up so we run an advert for WWE Shop, claiming everyone who buys WWE merchandise shoves cacti up their prickhole.>Backstage, Tozawa challenges Otis to stick 63 dildos up his arse. After 61 dildos, Otis begins to waver. After the 62nd he's really sweating. As he pushes up the 63rd, he has a massive coronary and keels over. Before he loses consciousness, he cries out for Mandy Rose.>Our main event of the evening pits CM Punk against the Twitter comment section. Punk spends 36 minutes calling everyone on the site a gigantic expressed canine anal gland then masturbates furiously to climax.>Punk closes the show by looking right at the camera and saying, "Go to hell, wrestling fans all smell like shit and nobody's watching this garbage anyway. All our advertisers and sponsors think kidnapping, killing and eating children is good and will bring them closer to Jesus Christ. Peace out, CUNTS.">We fade to black. What will happen on SmackDown?!
>>20783448I would do whatever Tony did to get Shockwave cancelled before it's 1st episode
I'd come out at the end of the show and say I have a message for all the corporate sponsorsThen I finna take a big giant shit on the logo of the biggest sponsor right in the middle of the goddamn ring and tell them that's exactly what our company thinks about those suckers for giving us their money to air our program
Hire Jim Cornette and let him book his ancient and archaic ass southern slop wrestling.
>>20783448what happened to palmer cannon anyway? i heard he quit after getting bullied or something
I'd come out and say billionaires are bad. that would get me canceled right? Im not a safe edgy retard right?
>>20783940Yeah now that I think about it, that has potential dimes.
There's only one thing TO do.https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1-Vd5hznGqg
>>20783448I'm bending the knee to every DEI practice possible to boost ratings over 4 million
