You are a valiant KNIGHT who has been tasked by your cool and nice KING to find and deliver to him several pieces of DELICIOUS CANDY from the RIDGE KINGDOM.Your honorable quest for confections has been thwarted, however, by this large and rather inconvenient wall. Whatever shall you do?
>>6406889Walk around it
>>6406890You are in RIDGE KINGDOM, numbnuts.The RIDGE on which you stand gives you a less than acceptable amount of clearance around the wall.
>>6406895oh shit I forgot. Maybe our fairy companion can give us some tips
>>6406895Fuck shit piss fart......Punch a hole in the wall with our footAnd crawl through
>>6406896Your captive fairy companion does not give you the sweet magical soothsaying like you desired, but merely utters"Fuck you stupid piece of shit let me out of this goddamned jar so I can punch you"You continue to regret this particular purchase from the wizard.
>>6406901Shake the jar, then PUNCH the wall with our head and face to destroy the wall and achieve the candy
>>6406895call to that thing on the right
>>6406897Your foot, instead of coming into contact with the lovely soft plaster bricks of your home CROWN KINGDOM comes into contact with some sort of blasphemous ridge-based brick made out of hard ground stuff that hurts your feets and it sucks.- 1 Heart
>>6406904Hmm.... maybe we should CHECK OUR INVENTORY..
>>6406903You speak an utterance of beckoning out above the wall into the space beyond, hoping to call upon some sort of ridge-based citizen whom you can complain to about the subpar destructibility of this wall.Your talk is returned with some sort of call from what is certainly a heinous beast. You have greatly underestimated the capabilities of this kingdom.
>>6406906You crack the 'ol grid open and look upon your supplies for the journey.
>>6406917Offer the beast a hot dog
>>6406918By the KING, you have summoned it. The furred beast ascends the wall with ease, there must be some sort of battlement on the opposite side to allow for creatures to get the jump on would be plunderers.It sits there, looking at you, hungrily. Your blood curdles, which would kill you if not for the ample adrenaline running through your veins.
>>6406922Leave the offering in the ground and wait and see
>>6406924May the KING save you...The creature slinks down the wall without hesitation, and sinks razor teeth into the soft flesh of the hot dog. It moves with no fear...Those little paws... you cannot bare to look any longer. You turn your head upward so that you do not have to stare your oncoming death in the eyes.
>>6406927Quietly weep, for our end is surely nigh!
>>6406927Curl up into a ball and piss our pants so we don't look like a threat
>>6406945>>6406948It's toying with you. Your face is wet with tears and your pants are wet with honorable urine. What a cruel creature it is, toying with you as it is...
>>6406963Wait! If you can get the timing just right we SHOULD be able to toss another hot dog over the wall... and with THE BEAST'S claws sunk into our body it'll carry us right over!
>>6406964Seconded
>>6406964Your second of four hot dogs has been expended, no doubt hitting the unforgiving stones on the opposite side, but the beast has not move. No doubt your flesh is the more appealing meal, the only reason it has not sunk its fangs into your supple neck is because it is too occupied eating your first hot dog to get started.
>>6406992Promise the fairy booze if it can sooth this beast
>>6407000You beseech the fairy to aid you. Anything you have! Please! Save me!"That is a normal ass cat you fucking moron it is making cute ass biscuits on your chest plate what is your problem"The fairy... it does nothing...
>>6407003Maybe you can ruin the beasts baking it'll go away take out your canteen of water and throw it in the dough making it too wet to be useable
>>6407030Genius
>>6407030With liberal application of ALL OF YOUR REMAINING DRINKING WATER FOR THE ENTIRE JOURNEY, the beast reveals its weakness. The hypothetical baking of probably soul-based confections upon your chest has ceased as the beast leaps down the side of the RIDGE, its paws meeting footholds you can't even see as it bounds away, dampened.The purified water drips down and mixes with your tears and urine on the ground.You Win?
>>6407088Wonderful! Now, let's dig a hole under the wall so we can avoid that nasty not-soft brick that held us up last time.
>>6407088>>6407088Step 1: place the fairy jar against base of IMMENSE WALL, step onto it on tiptoesStep 2: unsheathe FAT SWORD from inventory, >>6406917 standing on tiptoes, on fairy jar against wall, RAM FAT SWORD into high wall crevice above self, creating improvised piton / climbing handholdStep 3: tie sausages together in string / create safety rope harness, commence vertical wall climb. Goto step 2/ repeat ascent until pinnacle has been reached
>>6407088>>6407198(also after step 2 do not forget to retrieve the faery jar) Maybe shake it around and squint at it closely for a bit, try and see if the faery is a hot girl / wearing a naughty outfit >>6406901
