your name is norwood. you are bald. you are a chud.at this moment you are standing immediately outside chud tower. you have two objectives:- save all the chuds- defeat the villain at the top of the tower>you enter the towerQUEST START!!
you are in floor 1. there is a chud guarding the elevator that leads to floor 2. what do you do next?
>>6428979Punch him in the face. His sacrifice will be remembered.
>>6428979Get inside the fridge.
>>6428979Get into the fridge ASAP
>>6428982you assault the chud. he seems sluggish at the moment, and somewhat cognitively impaired. you land a solid hit on him, however, it doesn't faze him at all. it seems as though he doesn't feel it.norwood - 100/100hproberto - 98/100hp
>>6428987Hide from him in the refirdgerator
>>6428987roberto retaliates with a bottle smash to your head. it deals 33 damage!norwood - 67/100 hproberty - 98/100hp
>>6428991>i'm fucking up
>>6428995Kick him in the nutsSurely out strategy will produce results
>>6428991>>6428995>>6428987Why are we fighting?He's a chud just like us
>>6428996>Hide from him in the refirdgerator>>6428988>Kick him in the nutsyou are lain prone for the moment>>6428997>Why are we fighting?>He's a chud just like usas you lay prone, dazed, regretful you wonder just this. perhaps it speaks to an impulsive and violent personality you weren't yet aware you had.roberto grabs another bottle of substance.
>>6428999you get upwhat now?
>>6429001get in that damn fridge!!!
>>6429001Get some white monster from the fridge
>>6429001Release all the excess rage and numb the pain with a primordial screamThen offer peace to Roberto
>>6429001Go through the door before Roberto gets back
>>6429099you let out a primordial scream, healing all chuds on the battlefield for 50 hp. you are exhilerated. your punches hit 20% harder.norwood - 100 / 100 hproberto - 100 / 100 hp
Complain about women ruining movies
So are we fighting because "it's a true form of expression" or something or are we going the "save all chuds by destroying them" route?>>6429223Bodyslam Roberto
>>6429258>So are we fighting because "it's a true form of expression" or something or are we going the "save all chuds by destroying them" route?i don't even know xD>Bodyslam Robertoroberto sees you approaching the fridge. he politely steps aside to let you obtain a beverage.>>6429086>get in that damn fridge!!!you approach the fridge with the intent of entering the fridge. it would feel pretty good to feel the chill of the refrigerator air right now.however, upon arrival, you realize that you are prohibitively large. if you removed all the beverages, you probably could fit your bottom end inside. you would look very silly, and you would certainly not be hidden. however, the fridge could probably be used to house a smaller individual. roberto would be displeased if you excavated his supply of substance.>>6429098affirmative, looking through fridge contents
>>6429098you look inside the fridge. there are white monsters contained within, a bucket of frigid leftover chicken. and lots of substance. you obtain the white monster energy.here is an updated list of your abilities thus far.norwood - 100 / 100 hp - white monster - physical assault - primal roar
Rolled 14 (1d20)>>6429350break the shelves and do our best to put ourselves inside the fridge
>>6429350roberto speaks up.>what do u want men>you guys auredy took evryding>you want my fridge too?>go ahead, take it. i don't give a fouck anymorethe cool refrigerator air that is flowing around your ankles is soothing and inviting.
>>6429354you enter the fridge. the stupidity of this is so profound, it manages to dumbfound roberto despite his inebriation.
Rolled 18 (1d20)>>6429367get more of ourselves inside of the fridge
>>6429368you manage to fit more of yourself into the fridge. it is highly uncomfortable, even painful. roberto is bewildered.
>>6429379GO ALL THE WAY INSIDE!!!
>>6429379Whole body inside, door shut.
>>6429385>>6429387It’s the only way we’ll survive the bomb.
>>6429379HmmmGet in there more, I think. If you get all the way in and close the door, you'll end up somewhere else than where you are, probably.
>>6429379ALL THE WAY INCOMPRESS OURSELVES INTO A TINY BALL OF PURE CHUDNESS
>>6429379All the way in. If things get dicey we can punch our arms and legs out and use it as armor.
>>6429393that's inconceivable. who would bomb chud tower? only someone who cares not for the life of the chuds that populate this building, nor for the ire of its ruler.>>6429385>>6429396>>6429387>GO ALL THE WAY INSIDE!!!you force yourself into the fridge even harder than you did before. it is excruciating. you are grasping at only millimeters of space with every push.the tendons of your lower back are stretched to their limit. your intervertebral discs grind and croak under the extreme stress. suddenly, you are struck by sharp pain! two of your lower ribs break in unison and stab your upper abdomen from inside your body.the fridge takes the first move! it's a battle between your sturdiness and the fridge's structural integrity. norwood takes twenty damage.in any case, you are stuck. as an inanimate object, the fridge won't attack except in response. what do you do now?norwood - 80 / 100 hp
Rolled 4 (1d20)>>6429669Squeeze our glutes into that goddamn fridge! we shall not be deterred!
>>6429671Point at roberto and demand he deliver us to maintennance so they can get us out of the fridge
>>6429698NO, NOT OUT, IN!!
>>6429669Exhale to take less space. Vomit to take less space. Shit to take less space. Bleed tp take less space.
>>6429669Take the rest of the tower with the fridge on our backs. We can stick our arms and legs out and crawl.We will use it as armor. We will be the hermit-chud.
i'm new here i did't know u could rollthat's coolwill use that in the future>>6429698>>6429701as much as you would like to, you'd aalready exhaled as much as you could to get this far.>>6429750that's daring of you! you're strong, but not that strong.>>6429691>>6429700you push even harder. the fridge is unable to contain your any longer. the fridge takes 15 damage. the fridge explodes!
>>6429846the fridge is reduced to a pile of useless scraps on the floor. there is no cooling receptacle on this floor any more.
>>6429850Go to the elevator and find a place with a bigger fridge and get in it!!(also look at the pinned thread for more interesting things)
>>6429869>look at the pinned thread for more interesting thingsthank u>Go to the elevator and find a place with a bigger fridge and get in it!!there is a threat on the current floor, and it is making itself known>>6429850roberto speaks up. "who are you? you fouck my fridge? i fouck you"combat begin!
>>6429892roberto strikes first! a very conventional attack. norwood takes 8 damage.norwood - 72 / 100 hp - drink white monster - primordial scream - physical assaultroberto - 100 / 100 hp - abilities unknown
Rolled 20 (1d20)>>6429895oh snap, his arms are yuge, do a floor sweep
>>6429897>>6429869>>6429700>>6429385>>6429086also, I wanna say all these are me, IDK why the ID keeps changing
>>6429897roberto is sent flying! he is stunned for 2 turns.
>>6429906your opponent is currently skyborne. he will return to the ground in 1 turn. until then, what do you do?norwood - 72 / 100 hp - drink white monster - primordial screamroberto - 100 / 100 hp
Rolled 3 (1d20)>>6429909how is roberto still at full hp?anyways, do the naruto finger pose so that our fingers go in his anus when he lands
Rolled 3 (1d20)>>6429909Punt the little man across the room
>>6429909Equip the refrigerator door as a makeshift shield
>>6429919knowledge check fail. despite being a chud in your early twenties, you don't know what a naruto is. furthermore, manual sodomy is no way for one chud to treat another.>>6429922roberto is airborne. maybe next turn?>>6429946you equip the refrigerator door as a shield. here are its properties:refrigerator door:- on use, bonk a target, dealing 20 damage, additionally stunning the target with (base damage / target max hp) * 2 odds.- on receive hit, block the attack for a maximum of 50 damage. if the attack type is either ice or fire, block up to 500 damage instead.- processing order: 10you are a chud.
Rolled 20 (1d20)>>6429992let him fall and hope his spine breaks when he lands
>>6429992roberto lands on the the ground and takes 25 damage! he is stunned for another turn.it looks like roberto is kneeling. are you the kind of chud to kick another chud while he's down?norwood - 72 / 100 hp- shield bash- drink white monster- primordial roar- rescue chudroberto - 75 / 100 hp
>>6430000while he is stunned just run to the elevator, we can't be bothered anymore
>>6430000Kick his nuts! Also nice digits.
