First came the plague. It spread before any measures could be taken to stop it from infecting every part of the globe, killing nearly everyone it touched. Within weeks, tens of millions were dead. The streets: empty, forlorn. Those few who survived were in shock that, in the blink of an eye, advanced technological civilization could be destroyed so quickly, so completely. Then the dead started to come back to life.The first reports were dismissed as the results of severe trauma. It was simply too horrible, too fantastical to be believed. But the dead could not be ignored. Reanimated corpses, filled with lust to devour the flesh of the living, roamed the streets and killed and their mangled victims rose to join the horde. Depleted by the plague and overwhelmed by the number of the ghastly dead, government collapsed. Civilization still exists, but only in a few fortified outposts fighting to keep humanity alive.One of these outposts, beacon shining across the wild gardens and dark fens of the former US of A, is Atlantic City. Miraculously, you are a survivor, isolated and alone and, if you want to stand a chance of staying alive, you need to make it to that beacon. But to reach Atlantic City, you must first SURVIVE the rotten metropolitan corpse in which you huddle. To make it out, you must survive CAMDEN.[bold]*DUH DUH DUHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH*[/bold]Welcome to SURVIVING CAMDEN
So, full disclosure, I did run this quest before but like I didn’t have much times or whatevers, so I couldn’t keep it up, which is not a problem I regularly have, this isn’t normal, usually I can go ALL NIGHT, if you know what I mean, yeah. But nothing happened last time, its not serious, don’t worry about. Just have fun, have a good time, enjoy yourselfs. Who is this survivor, you are probably asking right now. It is none other than our plucky hero, Franklin Maria Rosaletti, better known to those who know him best as Lil’ Frankie. You will be him or pilot him or you know how this works, you say the things and vote and he do them. He also has some stuff already on his person. Lets have takes a looks loo about what that stuff is:Possessions:• Wifebeater (mustard stain)• Stretch pants (mustard stain)• Socks w/o holes (2 pairs)• Socks w/ holes (3 pairs)• Underwear (unstained) (2 pairs)• Underwear (stained) (1 pair)• Toothbrush***[bold]ADVISORY: YOUR GOAL IS TO SURVIVE UNTIL YOU DON’T ALIVE ANYMORE[/bold]***I will give options, but the quest is pretty free-form, so just do what you want, ask what you want, I’ll be close by>t. Ivan
Little Frankie is squatting in the ethnic foods section of the Cherry Hill Walmart, far enough away from the frozen meats area that the smell isn’t too bad. Surrounded by canned beans and some Chinese sauces you ain’t never heard of, it is time to make your next move. After a week here and who knows how long since they turned off the power, the last Hungry Man meal has gone bad and Frankie’s ready and available food source has vanished. If Little Frankie is to continue maintaining his impressive and intimidating physique, he must obtain more food. And, if Frankie is to survive long-term, he must return to sweet civilization.Some options come to mind:>Look in the fruits and vegetables aisle. Frankie hasn’t actually tried eating these, because you ya, its kinda gay, but desperate times call for desperately gay measures>See if there are other non-perishable goods in the Walmart, particularly ones that Frankie could take with him outside>Gather supplies from other sections of Walmart: bags, acrylic paints, flatscreen TVs, they’ve have its all, Frankie just has to be discriminalting like>The opne road is calling and, unprepared as he is, Frankie is ready to answer. Embrace destiny Frankie: go into the light, go into the Walmart parking lot
>>6441779>>6441778BOLD FAIL>>6441781>Look in the fruits and vegetables aisle. Frankie hasn’t actually tried eating these, because you ya, its kinda gay, but desperate times call for desperately gay measuresWhat, are you dumb? they are for sure rotten!I think we should go with>See if there are other non-perishable goods in the Walmart, particularly ones that Frankie could take with him outside
>>6441886Fortunately, there are plenty of other non-perishables at Walmart. Unfortunamentely, this Walmart got kinda looted a little bit, just a teensy bit, not noticeable, its mostly fine. That was a couple weeks before the plague started. So, consequentlyh as a result, this particular Walmart is not as freshly and completely stocked as it normally would be. But, hey! This is Camden, not freaking Bennetlville!Excluding things that Frankie can’t eat, there are the following non-perishable foodstuffs at this Walmart:16 boxes of Uncle Ben’s Minute Rice24 boxes of Kraft Mac & Cheese60 bags of Cheetos 40 bags of Lays Regular Potato Chips40 bags of Lays BBQ Potato Chips40 bags of Lays Sour Crème Potato Chips16 jars of Tostitos Cheese Dip28 cans of tomatoes31 cans of peaches20 cans of artichoke hearts12 cans of green beans6 jars of relish18 cans of Bush’s Baked Beans29 cans of non-Bush Beans8 bootles of Bangs Route Bier8 boottles of Diet Coke7 bottles of coca Cola3 bottles of Squish Orange Soda16 bottles of Grape Sode13 packs of individually-sized bottled water7 gallon-sized jugs of water6 stwelve-packs of canned Coca Cola5 twelve-packs of canned Dr. Pepper4 bags of Fun-yuns132 bottles of wine1 six-pack of Schlitz beer>What would you like to take?>How soon do you dare to venture into the unknown of the Walmart parkling lot?
>>6442105Hmm, that's quite a lot... We better go get a nice big bag, one of the fancy ones that has straps that go around your body.
>>6442105everything. Just kill everyone in the Walmart and take it over.
>>644210510 cans of peaches10 cans of artichoke hearts10 cans of non-Bush Beans8 bootles of Bangs Route Bier3 bottles of Squish Orange Soda10 bottles of Grape Sode7 gallon-sized jugs of water4 bags of Fun-yunsLet's look for new clothes, weapons, a tent, and something to carry all our food in.
>>6442317Well, rights now, we the only “everyboty” in this here Walmart and let me tells you, Frankie don’t commit no “suicide”. And ya want to know why, because saw a movie once, an ACTION movie, where they say “Pimp don’t kill themselves” and Frankie is, after all, for all intensive purposes, a pimp. You know, in essence, basically>>6442288>>6442415Wow, that’s a lot of delciisous and nutriousious canned and non-perishable goods! It really is just like they say in the commericals. Frankie tries to carry all them cans of beans (not that Bush brand, them beans is for the dogs) but its too many cans! You spill the cans! God, ahhhhh! AAHHHHHH!You gots to, just gots to, find a way to carry all these cans of delicious non-perishable goods and sundries. The homeless cartel had a pretty good lock on this Walmart before the collapse, so all the good carts got snatched up and taken to the woods or the underneath of the nice overpasses. All that’s left is one cart with both of the anti-thieft locks activated. Frankie grabs it from its cosy home by the smashed-in sliding doors and drags it back over to the non-perishable goods section. It squeeks like crazy, like rubbing balloons against other squeekier ballons. This just ain’t gonna work. You gots to find something else what with to carry your valuable survival goods inside of. Fortunately, Walmart has many many carrying objects that are still probably here: there’s backpacks! There’s sacks! There’s… backspacks! Yeah, lets haves a lookWalmart’s backpack and sack supply is little lacking this time of year, but Frankie does manage to find some spare ones that were not purchased during back-to-school season in the discount bin. He has the choice between three backpacks:>TMNT backpack with a torn left strap, it can only be worn over one shoulder. Carrying capacity: less than 30 lbs>Strawberry Shortcake backpack, the largest of the backpacks available and with four separate compartments. Unfortunately, carrying this, people might compare you to a little girl, so be careful of your feelings. Carrying capacity: less than 50 lbs>Elsa backpack, fully intact but not as durable as the Strawberry Shortcake backpack. Plus side, you really enjoyed that motion picture. This backpack vibes with you. Carrying capacity: less than 30 lbs
>>6442513>TMNT backpack with a torn left strap, it can only be worn over one shoulder. Carrying capacity: less than 30 lbsYou laugh until it imbues us with turtle power
>>6442513>>Strawberry Shortcake backpack, the largest of the backpacks available and with four separate compartments. Unfortunately, carrying this, people might compare you to a little girl, so be careful of your feelings. Carrying capacity: less than 50 lbs
Ya know, come to thinks of it, you gots two backs what you can wears backpacks on kinda. You got your back back ( the OG) and you got your front back. So, theoretically, you could wear two backpacks. And more backpacks means more cans of whatever stored for whenever. However, doing so, wearing both, feels ever so slightly gay. >Push through the gayness and emerge out of the otherside: wear both backpacks>Nah, I’m a one-backpack kinda of guy. Real homeloving family man type of guy
>>6442693>Push through the gayness and emerge out of the otherside: wear both backpacks
>>6442693>Nah, I’m a one-backpack kinda of guy. Real homeloving family man type of guy>TMNT backpack with a torn left strap, it can only be worn over one shoulder. Carrying capacity: less than 30 lbs
Rolled 1 (1d2)>>6442726 I assign thee the number 1>>6442697 I assign thee the number 2
>>6442697>>6443085We're wearing both! Woah! woah! An idea just blew throw your head an up your mindhole. What if... hear me out... TWO bakepacks. I know wild but science must cross boundaries if it to advance. You strap lil' miss strawberries up front over your man-gut and toss the turtles over one shoulder like youse too cool for school. You strut, you pivot, you weave, they stay fresh and on your bodily person. Yeah, yeah, this'll workYou start grabbin cans and jamming them into strawberry's holes when suddenly its Houston we gots a problem. As brilliant as your plan is, you gots too much stuff too carry. You can fit in all the beans and articoke hearts and fun-yuns (non-negotiables), but the liquids are a problem. For starters, not enough space. All, way way to heavy, your backpacs can't bare that weight. You'll have to economilize. In the end, you can only fit in two two-liter bottles of soda in the TMNT backpack plus another shoved in the mesh sidepouch of the odder one. Naturally, you take one thing of grape soda and two bottles of squish so that you got some vitamins and whatnot. Your inventory now looks like:>10 cans of peaches>10 cans of artichoke hearts>10 cans of non-Bush Beans>2 bottles of Squish Orange Soda>1 bottles of Grape Sode>4 bags of Fun-yunsJust to be safe you opem up one of them bottles of route bear and chug it. Who knowms when the next time t will be when you next taste the soft warm and refreshing tang of Bangs. Somebody, probably you, mentioned also needings to get some other shit while you are here in the shopping convenicne of a walmart.
>>6443089First, as it must be, comes fashion. The clothing selection at the Cherry Hill Walmart is extensive, unfortunately, it got total trashed and some jackass arsonist wantabe got to it before you so there is less selection tat would otherwise be sggestioned. The following items are still salvageable, take your pick:6 Jordache Jeans that do not fit you2 pair of cargo pants that do fit you1 pair of cut off jeans that hug your ass5 pairs of materity pants that stretch nice but Frankie wouldn’t want nobody to find out you know6 puffie jackets4 plaid stle thick-woven workers shirts covered in gasoline6 packs of tighty-whiteys2 three-each packs of men’s boxers18 bundles of socks20 bundles of those ladys socks that only cover the lower part of your foot3 silkk socks1 pair of Air Jordans in your size30 pairs of work boots not in your size1 lone work boot in your size3 Mr. Rodgers style cardigans15 garish ties8 bowties15 pairs of flip-flops with either flowers or tropic fish designs
>>6443090Wear 1 pair of cargo pants, store the other1 puffie jacket2 three-each packs of men’s boxers, open one up and wear one18 bundles of socks, wear one of them1 silkk socksWear the 1 lone work boot in your size2 Mr. Rodgers style cardigans, wear one of them1 pairs of flip-flops with flower fish designsThrow out the • Wifebeater (mustard stain)• Stretch pants (mustard stain)• Socks w/ holes (3 pairs)• Underwear (stained) (1 pair)
Sorry folks, I can't actually do this. Thought I was up to some real low-effort bullshit, but even that is too much. Hope some of the stupid shit I did manage to write made ya laff
>>6443987Yeah I'm laffin' great quest. here's some cereals.
>>6443987It's fine man, you can come back later, threads last months on this board
