>>6442899
>Find anyone with just a name
>Name: Waldo
we're finally getting this son of a bitch

>>6442899
>New information on elections rigging
Bro just me bro it's a different strain this time bro no it's Chinese this time it's the communists remember the communists bro pleàse trust me this time it's totally for real

File: maxresdefault.jpg (133 KB, 1280x720)

133 KB JPG

There's not even anyone you really want to find, is there? Who do you even think about? What if you just put in your own name, what will happen?

Enter your email to continue
*bing*
1 new email
That was fast, what does it say?

What is this? It's mostly in japanese or something. But it has a small picture of you. What? There is one english word, it's a link that says SPY.

>click the link
>brush your teeth

>>6442902
>click the link
Always click the link

>>6442902
>brush your teeth

>>6442902
>brush your teeth

>>6442902
>>brush your teeth

>>6442902
>click the link

When you click the link, your email opens a browser window going to a .jp website. It takes a long time to load. A really long time. In fact, it's not loading at all. The whole computer has frozen. What a scam.

You press reset on the computer and go to brush your teeth. You somehow have alot to do today, going to the convenience store and stuff.

But, when you get home, the first thing you do is check for messages.

Email
No new messages

Instant messaging
No notifications

Teamspeak
Some of your buddies are in a game, but you're still in the afk channel

How did that spy email have your picture? You open the email again to look at yourself. What find anyone website did you use? You hover over the SPY to see the url. Did you click SPY? Did it click itself?

Suddenly, your email, im, and teamspeak windows close. But then they all reopen again.

*bing* *bing* *bing* *bing**bing* *bing* *bing*
A bunch of notification sounds come in all at once. Probably getting spam now.

Damn, you open the email to see what it is.

Email
No new messages

But wait, there's a new pane in the email program. You only use your 1 email account, but now, you somehow have multiple accounts. Huh?

emilychurch@email
chadchud@email

You vaguely remember Emily Church, but you haven't even seen her in forever. Why is her email on your computer?

Of course you click it right away.

Email
Loading...1/100+

Email usually loads pretty fast, but only 1 message has loaded. It's a find anyone by name service, with your name on it.

>Read more email
>Instant messaging
>Teamspeak
>Think about dinner

>>6443347
>Read more email
cleared inbox compulsion

>>6443347
>2 votes to click the link
>3 to brush your teeth
so the number of votes don't matter. Good to know
>Instant messaging

>>6443355
Neither of the first two votes were used either lol
>>6443347
>Instant messaging

>>6443347
>Think about dinner

This is weird. You wonder what your instant messaging notifications were.

Instant messaging
3 messages

But there's no messages. But wait, just like the email program, there's multiple accounts now.

PrettyEvil14 (2)
ChadChud (1)
EmilyChurch

Is it ok to see this? For some reason, you can't resist clicking.

>PrettyEvil14
>ChadChud
>EmilyChurch

>>6443670
>ChadChud

>>6443670
>PrettyEvil14

>>6443670
EmilyChurch

You click ChadChud without even thinking twice. There's one message, maybe the most recent one, and it's just one of the buddies saying to hop onto teamspeak.

Almost as absent mindedly as you clicked ChadChud, you click on PrettyEvil14. It looks like she got 2 recent messages.

Hey, do you want to hop on teamspeak?

Not surprising.

Trauma can be like that sometimes

You have no idea what that's about. You think about it for a little bit, then decide to click EmilyChurch instant messaging account.

There wasn't any new message notification, but a message does pop up.

Hey, where are you going to be tomorrow? Are you working?

It could be not so recent. Is there a way to see who this conversation was with? Actually, you don't really care too much, I mean, you haven't even seen her in forever. She's just someone you remember, vaguely.

*bing* *bing*

Something funny is that maybe it's because you don't get that many emails, but even though these
notifications aren't for you, you have a compulsion to clear your inbox. I mean, the emilychurch@email inbox. Or maybe it's chadchud@email. Better go check and see.

Email
emilychurch@email (2)
chadchud@email

It looks like it was Emily's email. That's nice that she's a regular email user. You don't remember her being that into technology or electronics too much. Maybe she liked watching movies. I mean, everybody with a smartphone has email these days.

Itinerary Good Evening, Here's the expected itinerary for tomorrow. Let me know if you have..

She must be traveling. That's nice, I wonder where she went? Probably for vacation. Maybe you should travel more. Who can afford vacation in this economy?

Transfer completed A transfer to your account has been completed $1000000USD on...

What the heck? Emily is rich? You're suddenly more interested in her. Why are these 2 emails together? Was Emily the type to not sell out, not even for a million dollars? Or maybe it was only for a million dollars?

You try to click the mails, but they aren't fully loading at this time. But clicking them does mark them as read right away. Compulsion complete, you guess.

It feels like you could have read all that in just a few seconds, but a bunch of time has gone by. You didn't make any dinner plans, but you have some quick convenient store things to make. With just a little bit of thought, it looks good enough to take a picture of.

It's getting pretty late, so, you're pretty much ready to lay down and sleep alone. What a weird day.

You sleep a deep, dreamful sleep. It's almost worth remembering. Before you know it, it's morning. You can hear the sounds of the world awake before you.

>brush your teeth
>click SPY

>>6443964
>brush your teeth

>>6443964
>brush your teeth
but let the mind wonder a bit

Tooth brushing completed, it's a good time to check your messages. Absolutely no new emails, no new instant messages. On teamspeak, prettyevil14 is in a game channel by herself, so you decide to join her. Let me send you an invite, she says. You think it's pretty rare to see prettyevil14 by herself, what an unusual day. Together, you guys are playing well, winning most of your rounds, and talking just about the game, no gooning at all. In a climactic round, prettyevil14 comes up just short of clutching by herself. That's so traumatic, you say absentmindedly.

What did you say?

You almost had that!

I think that's last round for me, talk to you later

And she leaves suddenly. You need a thesaurus or something. There you are, alone in teamspeak. You feel the lure of SPY. You can't resist it. You click it.

Teamspeak closes and opens again. PrettyEvil14 is in a channel by herself, but she just left? Ash's phone? This channel doesn't exist. You don't want to join it and be seen in there. But you can click it, and in the menu, it says listen.

The reunion is a very important scene, Chedo. Do you regret not doing more before?

PrettyEvil14 mentioned that she sometimes acts in her local theater. It seems like she's listening to a meeting they are having there.

I think about before

Chedo says.

>Yeah, and I regret not manning up more
>I always do as much as I can, I have nothing to regret
>Uhh this character is so, like, it's bad

>>6444277
>>Uhh this character is so, like, it's bad

If you don't want to do it, there's plenty of cheds who do

You can't believe it's Chedo. Somehow, Chedo keeps back and forthing for half an hour, seemingly accomplishing nothing while keeping his role. It's hard to believe you spent this much time listening to something you didn't even know existed. The meeting ends.

ChadChud's phone is a channel in the teamspeak. You always click listen.

Just the 2 cheeseburgers. What do you want to drink? You know I basically downloaded you. I'll have

ChadChud seems to be having lunch with someone. You don't recognize who he's with, but you think you recognize a restaurant really close to where you live.

>Keep listening
>Have lunch coincidentally at a nearby restaurant where ChadChud and someone might be having lunch

>>6444473
>Keep listening
We should take a look of how fat or skinny is our wallet

True to your introverted personality, you decide to stay in and keep listening. You note that the supermarket and even convenient store are more frugal than that steakhouse, even when there is a half price menu. Plus, you can make a cheeseburger better than them anyways.

Isn't this better than convenient store video game? So, what happened is that Chuddy got raped by Ched. Ched has autism and adhd. But then someone said it wasn't Ched, it was JooB. So, now there's all this wrong information about Ched. Ched doesn't have severe autism, but he's definitely autistic.

*bing*

Email
ChadChud(2)

ChadChud gets 2 emails.

FWD: DB Check report on Ched
FWD: WF Check report on JooB

There are 2 forwarded mails with reports. Sure enough the report on Ched says it right there. Raped Chuddy. But next to that line is a link DELETE. Who sent this? It's coming from someone called databurnerz.

The report on JooB has come from someone called watchfrogz. The report seems like a resume, there's nothing wrong with it, except there is one line, Raped ChuddyREPORT. What does this mean, can you click the report button to add this to the JooB report?

>Delete from Ched Report
>Report on JooB
>Delete and Report
>Keep listening

>>6444940
>Report on JooB

>>6444940
>Report on JooB
...But I'm very tempted to keep on listening, just a bit more, a taaaaaaad bit more

You have no reason to doubt the claims made by ChadChud's lunch date. In fact, being known by ChadChud's lunch date is all the more reason to think that JooB is guilty. You click report, and the Raped Chuddy line is added.

It looks like other people are already on top of the situation

Perfect, is that person looking at me weird?

You're getting more comfortable with the find anyone background report website. You think maybe you can offer to help other people stay safe by checking people's reports.

>Post on fbook that you have access to a background check service if people need
>Enough spying for today

>>6445436
Decide it's
>Enough spying for today
but then get tempted and check EmilyChurch and PrettyEvil14 again, just to be sure.

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121 KB JPG

Email
EmilyChurch has received more bank transfers. Her boyfriend has sent her $1million. It seems EmilyChurch's boyfriend is paying her for girl friend experience. You don't remember her having any boy friend long ago when you knew her, so, you are curious what exactly is her idea of a girl friend experience. She has also received another $1million transfer and has an itinerary for later in the week. If she's making like 1 or 2 million dollars every week, she's getting like 50 or 100 million dollars a year. You can't imagine what she's spending it on.

Teamspeak
EmilyChurch's phone
PrettyEvil14
SchizoCat

How does everyone you know know each other? For some reason, PrettyEvil14 is listening to EmilyChurch's phone, along with your gaming buddy SchizoCat. Even if he's not saying, when it comes to things like knowing why exactly ChadChud has been a meme since middle school, no one knows better than SchizoCat.

It seems EmilyChurch is having dinner at a restaurant. She's not actually saying very much, and it's mostly just the other restaurantgoers' chatter.

I'm doing a modeling gig from an app I got an ad for on fbook

PrettyEvil14 has a new job coming up. She did a background check on the company that offered her the job through an app.

According to the report, it's a local clothing company. The founder is said to have invested $10 million in the company. The company has been in business for 4 years now. Their quarterly expenses average $1 million. Their revenues have been increasing yearly, with the most recent fiscal year's revenue totaling $2 million. So they seem legit.

What are they paying you?

$500 to model some clothes

Shark tank

What? Dallas mavericks?

Why don't you marry some oil tycoon's son or something?

Meanwhile, on fbook, someone is looking for info on his ex wife. You offer to get some info for $20. You think you can get a find people report for free and just sell it. It seems normal enough, and the report has also included things like her recent car registration renewal, a mercedes-benz suv, and her favorite tv show on a dating profile, l word. She's been regularly active in her area lgbtq+ community. Her report also contains complaints of her use of racist language, and her current location, a local strip club.

>Send the report (+$20)
>Say you couldn't find anything

>>6447146
>Send an abridged version where you leave out the current location and the racial slur usage complaints. Offer to find out where she is right now and if there have been any recent issues regarding her for +30$.

Rolled 35 (1d100)

So, you're able to increase your profits by 150% by making an abridged report where you leave out divorced fbook guy's ex wife's current location and known racist status, and then offering more information for money. Divorced fbook guy sends you the $20, and quickly agrees and sends $30 more. He remarks that his wife being a racist is not new information to him, and he thanks you for the location. You know that lesbian cop might be upset, but you just made $50.

On EmilyChurch's phone on teamspeak, you can hear some of the other restaurantgoers.

He deserved to die at marriage
She deserved to die for liking l word
If anything happens, lesbian cop will narc
Lesbian cop will narc no matter what

You're reminded that lesbian cop would say that there is a statistical non-zero chance that bad things happened when exes got together, and therefore, exes should religiously never, ever get together or see each other ever again.

Roll 1d100
>(0-10) Murder at the strip club
>(11-30) Divorced fbook guy steals the car with the spare key
>(31-90) Nothing happens
>(91-100) Somehow divorced fbook guy reconciles with his ex-wife

>>6448557
Did you just roll for this or do you want us to roll?

>>6448572
You may roll

Rolled 62 (1d100)

>>6448608
Thanks Wux

>>6448612
'Tis not me