THAT’S IT. YOU’RE SICK OF THIS ASSCLOWNERY.SOME GAGGLEFUCK OF PALADINS CAME INTO YOUR EVIL MOUNTAIN COTTAGE WHILE YOU WERE GATHERING SOME REAGENTS FOR A SPELL AND LOOTED THE PLACE! THEY EVEN BROKE YOUR FAVORITE CHAIR.GODDAMNIT. THIS IS THE FOURTH TIME THIS DECADE. NO MORE RELOCATION.IF THEY WON’T LET YOU BE AN EVIL WIZARD HERMIT IN PEACE, YOU’LL BE EVIL ALL OVER THEIR PLACE!IN A COMPLETELY RATIONAL AND EVIL MOVE, YOU’VE DECIDED TO CONQUER THE LAND IN RETALIATION. What is your EVIL magic specialty?>NECRO-OLOGYPros:+craploads of minions+The type of necromancy in this quest lets you summon undead straight up AND reanimate corpses+Ascension to lichdom, an obvious path for powerCons:-Minions are generally pretty shit-tier-Turn Undead, the spell they teach to every single fucking holy magic user...-liches are egotistical bitches, and will likely be offended a “mere” necromancer is trying to take over the world.>DEMON-OLOGYPros:+High quality minions+sacrifice captured prisoners for fancy rituals+Bargain with demon lords for additional benefitsCons:-Anything beyond a basic bitch demon you summon has their own agenda-demons aren’t as vulnerable to holy magic as you think, but the holy orders of the land will take you WAAAY more seriously than normal-high risk of ending up being an unwitting pawn in a demon’s plan.>CURSE-OLOGYPros:+DOT for days, graze a guy’s head, he’s as good as dead.+Siege and attrition warfare expert, you only get in a better position as time goes on. +curses are incredibly versatile, and can even be turned into what amount to buffs with downsides.Cons:-curses are deadly and people are… very, very aware of this. Expect lots of people to leeroy jenkins themselves at you the second you land a single hit on them or run to a cleric.-you’re immune to all your curses, but any minions and allies you gather… probably not…-certain pansy ass fake evildoers think curses are terrible and “too evil” likely refusing to help you… or even aiding the do-gooders.>ARTIFACT-OLOGYPros:+Top of the line staff and magical armor. +Who the fuck said wizards are weak in melee, bitch?+Create powerful artifacts for your minions to use.Cons:-creating magical artifacts worth real power takes time, and lots of shit. Sometimes maintenance as well.-paradoxically, by trying to make yourself less vulnerable to being singled out, you are even more likely to be targeted first, since you’re such a big goddamn threat-the stupidity of others with magical artifacts is in your opinion, unbelievable.Also, what's your evil fucking wizard name?>write in
>>6466737>CURSE-OLOGY You best believe I got that thang on me>Calderon The Curse-Lord, Scourge of Destiny I mean it. I got that THANG on me
>>6466737>ARTIFACT-OLOGY>Purity Your hick parents wanted a girl, and thought you'd be a good person.We need to deck-out some goons
>>6466737>NECRO-OLOGYLiches can eat our dick! At least we HAVE ONE! MWAHAHAHAHAHA!!!
>>6466737>Artifacto-ology>Shaggy
>>6466737>NECRO-OLOGYI FUCKING LOVE MINIONS SO GODDAMN MUCH (UN)HOLY SHIT>BARTHOLOMEW NICODANDRUS
>>6466737>NECRO-OLOGYEVIL UNDEAD NECROMANCEREVERY NARRATIVE QUESTION IS SOLVED BY "EVIL UNDEAD NECROMANCER">Harry the Horrid
>>6466737>>ARTIFACT-OLOGY>TimThere are some that call him.
>>6466737WE OUT HERE CASTING SPELLS>CURSE-OLOGYAIN'T NO TWO-BIT HERO FUCK WITH US>Calderon The Curse-Lord, Scourge of Destiny EVERY PALLY IS A BASTARD
>>6466737>ARTIFACT-OLOGYGONNA CRUSH THEIR FUCKING SPINES WITH MY EVIL STAFF AND GIVE MY MINIONS FIREBALL WANDS
>>6466737>CURSE-OLOGY>Lars Donglidus
Artifact-Ology Wins, name is... still undecided. Writing.
>>6466737>CURSE-OLOGY>Calderon The Curse-Lord, Scourge of Destiny APAB!
>>6466791Calderon The Rune-Lord, Scourge of Destiny?
You look at yourself in the mirror.Ah, what a glorious image!Your eyes flare red, your armor and staff polished to a glint. You conjure a orb of arcane power, ready to crush your enemy, in return for FUCKING UP YOUR GODDAMN COTTAGE.Right, right, time for your EVIL FUCKING CONQUEST TO BEGIN.Now… what is your first step in CONQUEST? You’re just fucking itching to begin, and can hardly wait. You really want to just GET OUT THERE AND START KILLING but you can hold yourself back to prepare at least a… little bit, surely.Minions, and a little magic practice (you'll admit that you've spent the last couple of years ransacking tombs rather than actually fighting anyone) will do you some good.Right now, all you really have in terms of minions are... about a dozen lab homonculi. Which are about the size of a large dog, covered in wings and tentacles, and are completely and utterly unsuited to to anything beyond helping you around the lab.There are various monster tribes around in these parts- usually too small and weak to do anything more than token raids and do petty wars against each other, and a few bandit encampments who raid caravans. They'll make for good fodder- maybe some will be prove to not be completely worthless too.Additionally, they fucked up all your chests, and a good deal of the precious artifacts you've forged, stolen, or collected are either broken, missing, or consecrated to uselessness. Still, they couldn't have destroyed everything you had.Your target is the city of Oakdale, the closeby city at the foot of YOUR mountain- not where the Paladins came from, probbably. Oakdale isn't important enough to have a paladin order stationed in it, but it's there. you're evil. You might as well, yeah!?>Get some minions up in here first, can’t conquer without an army, then practice magic- you’re the true power and brains, but it never hurts to have some cannon fodder. Then… CONQUEST.>Train your magic… you’re a wizard, for fuck’s sake! Rummage through your collection and find the remaining artifacts the paladins didn't consecrate- Than gather some minions- mere cannon fodder, really. Then… CONQUEST.>CONQUEST NOW. FUCK IT. GET IN THERE AND START KICKING SOME ASS. SURPRISE, MOTHERFUCKERS. THEY'LL NEVER SEE IT COMING.
>>6466796>Train your magic… you’re a wizard, for fuck’s sake! Rummage through your collection and find the remaining artifacts the paladins didn't consecrate- Than gather some minions- mere cannon fodder, really. Then… CONQUEST.Look, we GOT TO, GOT TO, GOT TO consolidate! If we ain't got our shit ON MAGI-LOCK we're gonna get SMOTE like a garden variety pond slime.
>>6466795Artifacts won, so, curse lord doesn't make much sense IMO, but I'll make it still an option in this one.SEPERATE NAME VOTE:>Calderon The Curse-Lord, Scourge of Destiny>Calderon The Artifact-Lord, Scourge of Destiny>Lars Donglidus>Tim>Harry the Horrid>BARTHOLOMEW NICODANDRUS>Shaggy>PurityNO MORE WRITE-INS, SORRY.
>>6466796>Train your magic… you’re a wizard, for fuck’s sake! Rummage through your collection and find the remaining artifacts the paladins didn't consecrate- Than gather some minions- mere cannon fodder, really. Then… CONQUEST.LAB HOMONCULI, YOU SHALL RECEIVE COOL MAGIC ARMOUR (EXPENDABLE) TO COVER YOUR FORMS FROM SHANKING AND COOL MAGIC SHIVS (ALSO EXPENDABLE) FOR YOUR APPENDAGES TO SHANK A BITCH WITH, THEN WE SHALL CONQUER ALL!
>>6466799Can we call ourselves Calderon The Forge-Lord instead of Calderon The Artifact-Lord? If not, I'll back>Calderon The Artifact-Lord, Scourge of Destiny
>>6466796>Train your magic…Any stupid pally can kill a minion, but they can't kill AN EVIL FUCKING WIZARD!
>>6466796>CONQUEST NOW. FUCK IT. GET IN THERE AND START KICKING SOME ASS. SURPRISE, MOTHERFUCKERS. THEY'LL NEVER SEE IT COMING.THIS WIZZA IS OUT FOR BLOOD>>6466799Yeah that's why I suggested The RUNE-Lord instead. It does sound a bit too dwarfy though.>Calderon The Curse-Lord, Scourge of DestinyMisinformation. Our enemies will expect us to be the typical weak pussy wizard who hides behind his minions while he slings hexes.
>>6466799>Calderon Sunderforge, Cruelty's Anvil
Alright, training magic and rummaging your shit has won...WritingAlso, the name for now, is..."Calderon, The Forge Lord, Master of Artifacts, Scourge of Destiny"Unless you guys wanna alter that even more
Chud quest
Nah, this looks like Pogger Quest.
>>6466796>>Train your magic… you’re a wizard, for fuck’s sake! Rummage through your collection and find the remaining artifacts the paladins didn't consecrate- Than gather some minions- mere cannon fodder, really. Then… CONQUEST.>>6466799>>Lars Donglidus
My stupid chud wizard quest is already dead...
I know most of you will call bullshit on this but my grandparent literally got a stroke on monday (and they live in a different country so one of my parents is leaving to take care of em) so I'm no longer in a very EVIL FUCKING WIZARD MOOD. So yeah. Sorry. Quest cancelled.
>>6468309Nah it happens man :/ Really fuckin' sorry to hear that, though. Strokes run in my family, shit is really scary and traumatizing. Will send up a prayer for their recovery, and for safe travel to them and back.
>>6468309And so the curse strikes another QM down...
>>6468309Damn, hope you're doing alright. No worries about the quest, take care of you and your family first.
>>6468309I hope you and your family will be OK QM.
>>6468309I'm sorry to hear that OP. Hope your grandparent recovers well
>>6468309Take care of your people and yourself I was following with interest, I hope you can do a restart or have more great ideas in the future
