I wish I could draw. Or create something, really. My mind is so blank and boring. I wish I could write something. Perhaps it's a dumb thought, but creating something is like a print of your life, someone, somewhere, at some point had to create this piece of work, that someone lived. I wish I was able to give shape to whatever low resolution image my mind conjures. I wish it was a flowing river instead of an arid desert. It's all so boring. There are people who MUST create and then there are the ones whose minds are so dull that they can only consume. I am trapped in a cycle of innate mediocrity that I can't escape.
>>84641267I want to feel and indulge. I want to be in control, not of the things I feel, but of their expression. That isn't to say that I want to control it like an "on/off" switch, but like how a pianist feels each press of the keys when he plays. I am like a burn victim whose nerves don't feel anymore, immune to the touch of my own emotions.
You created this thread, which I read and posted in. That's more than most people get.
>>84641267>My mind is so blank and boring.You could just force it People don't spawn novel ideas straight from within their minds they get inspired by something first, and that thing could be inspired from another and another like a spiral. I think that the deeper you are into something the likelier you'll createIt can feel unnatural and scripted at first but as an idea delves into the other it gains complexity, immersion and brainstorming are what make it happen
listen to this anon OP >>84641769you gotta take the first step and feel like an imposter. everyone has a story worth telling, give yourself a fair shot
>>84641769I have extreme trouble with translating whatever is in my mind into tangible things. Let's call it "the world of ideas" alluding to Plato's concept, but in this case, it's uniquely speaking about what is in my abstract mind. I can't translate this "feeling" or low resolution idea, picture, into tangible constructs, like written words, drawings or art, music, or even movements.Some things are beautiful, I can see said beauty, but I cannot create beauty. >>84641829Maybe taking antidepressants has permanently fucked up my brain. I used avoid all kinds of self-expression because I have a terrible fear of being humiliated. I took the meds as a way to quiet down the very thing that made me who I am. And now, I'm gray and dull.
Nobody really creates in the sense you seem to be getting at. It starts with a very small, almost significant thing. Then more is added over time. The thing creates itself.Want boobs? Draw two circles with two smaller circles super imposed, cool. But they'd be better with a pussy, or a navel. Boobs feel flat, so give them depth. They feel empty, give them weight. They feel frozen, give them vectors. It is a bad example, but a journey of a thousand nuts begins with one rack. Eventually she's got a face with expression and all that other stuff you'd expect.When I have an idea I start writing and then problems avalanche. As they are solved new ones manifest and are then solved. It might be a disjointed mess but there's a box of pieces. I rewrite it a second time and consult the first writing and any notes, tables, or reference material. Things become more integrated.I guess I don't set out to write or make something, it's just one small thing. But over time it might could be described as something I made or created.
>>84641267Damn, thats so interesting. I wonder what that experience would feel like since i'm the opposite.I don't know how people can experience a great film, book, play, game, comic, song whatever it is, and not feel inspired to create something themselves. I just finished a story that i'm gonna start drawing and its probably gonna take like a year, maybe a year and a half to draw the whole thing but I've already got books for research for my next one that i'm gonna read while at work.I love art, all sorts but it would be torture to experience art and not be able to do creative work myself. Also, creativity can be stimulated OP. Again, experience art made by others, be it film, theater, literature, painting, games etc. Whatever catches your interest. Or look into topics that interest you. I was learning about Russian history and got really inspired about Peter the Great and his rivalry with the very bizarre but compelling man known as Charles the XII.Or this picture. The last picture of a barbary lion. I wonder what it would feel like to be the last living being of your species. To roam the world trying to find someone else, completely unaware that you're the last one. I wonder if I could pull a story like that. Then I remembered a film I really like called The Plague Dogs about 2 dogs that escape a lab. I remembered the sense of loneliness and impending doom. I started to imagine scenes and images of this last lion.I don't want to downplay what you've described. Maybe there are people that really have no creativity in them but I find it hard to accept. Try to cultivate itAnd also, don't wait for inspiration. Creative work is not built on inspiration, but on consistent work, everyday.
>>84641267Bump because I wanna reply in a few minutes
It's difficult, but you got to do it everyday, write down every step of your thought process and listen to music to help destress your brain
>>84643512I cannot deal with frustration. I created this thread when I was experiencing the intention-execution gap. >>84642264When I see things that "inspire me" I usually think of "fixes" or things I would do differently rather than my own creation. Sometimes I think different directions in which I would take things, but it's always low resolution. It is pretty cool that you are like that, though. I find I am interested in skme things, but lack a lot of drive to engage in them. >To roam the world trying to find someone else, completely unaware that you're the last one. I wonder if I could pull a story like that. Then I remembered a film I really like called The Plague Dogs about 2 dogs that escape a lab. I remembered the sense of loneliness and impending doom. I started to imagine scenes and images of this last lion.Things like this also happen to me. But idk how you can turn them into something like a story or art. Nothing like that. I remember this video of a male bird, the last of its species, crying out for a female in one of those "shows" that male birds put on for females, a show for an audience that doesn't exist, a woman who will never come or respond to his call. Very sad. I also remember seeing this bird called a Quetzal, and how the males of the species have these beautiful tail feathers, I thought that I would love to create a drawing of a bird with that feature. I also thought that the spiked hairstyle they have is ugly and looked like a 2000s punk guy, but now that I think more about, it completely suits its flamboyant appearance. Truly a beautiful bird. But I cannot think of a way to create something else out of this image. Perhaps a character that embodies said flamboyant nature or expression. Or maybe a different kind of creature, like a mammal that has fur in the same shape. But I can't draw that shit at all. >>84643073I wonder what this anon wanted to say.
>>84643906I'm someone who never thought I could draw or create things like music etc because of many excuses, like not being able to visualize or hear things in my head or I didn't doodle as a kid so that means it's too late for me to start etc.But recently I realized I can draw, to the extent that my limited skills allow. I started drawing something to post here to make a point to you along with what I was going to say but it's taking a while since i'm not good by any means.Essentially what I wanted to say is that if you want to draw, you have to draw. I'm frustrated right now as i'm drawing but i'm still doing it. Creation can't occur if it isn't allowed to. Sometimes art will emerge out of a plan or idea, but most of the time for most people it comes out of simply attempting to make "something". You have to force yourself to fill the blank canvas with something, anything, until it leads you to something. In most cases art isn't "created" but it's "found", if you get what i'm saying.You seem like an interesting person and you have a way with words that someone like me doesn't but you are holding yourself back. It is literally all in your head. "I can't do X because Y". You create your own inaction by following a feedback loop of lamenting your "inabilities" which leads you to avoid or maybe even fear working on them.For example, I like to tell myself that I can't and could never write anything, i'm not like those smarter people who can do that, I haven't lived an interesting life like good authors tend to, how could I ever write anything? But have I ever earnestly tried to write something? I write little things here and there occasionally, but i've never done anything to improve my ability at writing. I've never studied the fundamentals of storytelling or sat down to analyze works I like. To begin with, I don't even attempt to write daily. How could I ever improve at writing if I don't write every day, and don't stop even when it's frustrating?
>>84643906>>84644178Hopefully some of this resonates with you, I was mostly just rambling. And I ended up reddit-spacing too, my bad.
>>84641267There are many ways that people create. Nicolas Roeg is a naturalist that prefers to capture spontaneous things unfolding before him naturally and then reinterprets them later thru his own unique lens. Heat Legend and Taylor Swift fill themselves with emotions, often violent and dark, up to to a dangerous threshold that forces them to expel said emotions thru a creative valve or else they burst. Then there's Neil Breen who is just a human conduit for the gods, his eyes are projectors of the noumenon, his hands its hammer and chisel.
>>84641267I consume and use that as inspirationyou can draw using your own artstyle anon
>>84641951The antidepressants just pushed the fear to your subconscious, it's clearly still there
>>84641951Antidepressants didn't permanently fuck up your brain, but they make you into a zombie so I would recommend getting off of them and it'll take a little while for the effects on your brain to wear off but it's better to face your problems head on than hide symptoms.
