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>>84684060
>give it to my straight doc
alright, here's your lethal dose of morphine

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Basically anytime he's nice to you, you're going to hurt him, and anytime you're mean to him, he will like you less. Repeat until you break him. Drink lots of water because you're going to ugly cry even though you were the one at fault that isntigated everything.

>>84684066
he said if I kill himself he'll kill himself too so im trying to avoid that, he has tried before when I last broke up with him so I wont risk it, but I do agree greatly I regret agreeing to date him, I was going to kill myself and planned it to a T then he asked me out and I said no and then he spent the next 3 weeks basically begging me to get back with him so I decided not to kill myself and give it a try and I definitely should have just killed myself actually I don't know why I didnt that was dumb

>>84684068
how do I prevent the "he doesnt like me and is tricking me" thoughts so I dont act like a toddler and throw a tantrum and tell him to kill himself or is it more of figuring out how to stop the tantrum instead of the thoughts maybe? I will research, thank you for your input

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>>84684077
crazy that people this young are so mentally fucked up. what exactly happened for you two to end up like this?

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>>84684060
Tell us more about our him. What did the therapist say? What are you going to do to better yourself for him?

>>84684060
the sexual experiences you had as a child split your personality into several structures which all compete now for various levels of control to try to maintain the baseline you needed as a child to manage the situation you were in. basic recovery needs you to accept that your body experienced some sense of pleasure from what you experienced and the is the doorway to returning to wholeness again. the first split is always 'this feels good but it is wrong'. If you can't overcome that split then you're going to continue having psychological issues and personality instability.

>>84684086
he got diddled on by his teacher and his aunt so he a little off in the head, my dad diddled me and my mother was lowk kinda evil (id get waterboarded for grades under a B) so im also very off in the head, probably too much violent porn as well we've both discussed that

you have my sympathy, BPD sounds like hell. for your own sake/treatment, try to find a DBT group or therapist.

that said, understand that you have a crazy brain and you KNOW this (BPDemons are usually self-aware, which is nice). you're not a psychopath. if you think you're an empath and you care about this guy's feelings, or at least his reactions, how do you think it will go when you 'flip'?

i don't believe there's any such thing as a lost cause. but frankly, you need to be in a much better state than you currently are. you will ruin his life (or several lives). you know all this already, so this one's on you.

>>84684106
>(id get waterboarded for grades under a B)
are you asian?

>>84684085
You don't have to prevent it, you just have to understand that some people mean what they say, and some people don't. You get to decide if someone isn't for you, you don't have to try with someone that's bad to you just because you're scared.

>>84684088
He has a very high ego in most cases but low drive to do anything, views people very critically, I think hes very dependent on me, if I get upset at him he starts crying and has hurt himself before because of it, he does anything I say, I dont think hes actually ever said no to me to be honest, hes very sweet to me, he takes care of me and has only gotten mad at me once and spent weeks apologizing for it to make up for it, my therapist thinks its a good idea because I havent dated anyone before so she wants to see how it works out since I tend to be self aware, she doesnt think ill do anything extreme but im not sure if thats because I self filter when I talk to her, I have a hard time saying things without little lies so theres a good chance she thinks im less insane than I am, ive been working on trying not to push and pull on him, I tend to check my phone about few hundred times when im not around him and I get upset when he hasnt responded, and then ill get mad thinking he doesnt actually like talking to me so I ignore him, which is incredibly stupid so ive been reducing my phone time or just shutting it off when im not around him so I dont work myself up, when I get mad at him I just leave and tell him ill be back in a little and he didnt do anything wrong im being moody so I dont snap at him, im not really sure what else to do since again, I havent dated anyone before so I dont know what to look for, I dont really get close to people, especially irl, so I dont usually have the dependancy/relationship issues that bpd causes since I dont really care about anyone around me, I cut off my family because they were the only ones I had those issues with and its gotten a lot better since then, I dont have any reason to be upset so I dont hurt anyone because im upset, and I like my alone time

>>84684114
I have a therapist and have been looking for dbt groups within network, I currently do dbt workbooks at home, I havent split on yet, or like around him, ive split About him though, I usually just avoid him when that happens and its been okay, I think if I do split around him he might hurt himself though, just based on times ive been upset with him for something, he is very self critical about his actions and tends to view himself as a failure over small things, so I cant imagine if I also hated him for the moment, hed probably break

I agree, I wasnt supposed to date him, I said no to him about a few dozen times before finally giving in, I just really wanted to try since I liked him so much, I thought itd be okay, ive known him for 5 years already so I didnt think itd be that different from him just being my friend like before but its already getting very difficult to control my mood around him

>>84684115
im not, im a negroid lmfao, similarly abusive family dynamics, though I dont know why she cared so much about my grades, she didnt want me to go to college anyways

>>84684157
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Return_key

>>84684201
bruh leave me alone it comes with the bpd territory expect the paragraphs it'll keep happening

to shorten- he has a high ego but is very critical of himself and others, hes a very good boyfriend

therapist approves but I think she thinks im more stable than I am

ive been working on not working myself up and convincing myself he hates me, and ive been working on keeping myself away when I dont think im stable enough to be nice

I dont know what else to fix because this is the first close relationship ive had other than my family

>>84684194
interesting, I never thought about blacks being bpd

>>84684250
not as rare, but they dont get diagnosed, black women are generally just hard to deal with so they dont really care to go to a therapist when they go crazy since their mother was the same lmfao

>>84684194
>>84684250
this has killed my interest in the thread.

best of luck OP. thanks for making me realize i'm a racist, or something.

>>84684266
you're welcome anon, have a great night

>>84684102
why was this post ignored

>>84684280
oh because I dont really dignify bait with responses usually, hope that explains it

>>84684302
why do you think that post is bait?

>>84684060
you will mess it up. there is no such thing as not messing up a relationship. let me explain this to you in very simple terms. you two will eventually break up, and it will probably be your fault primarily due to your mental illness. you can learn your lessons from this, and try to do better next time. moreso than anything else in this thread, you need to understand this. of course, due to your BPD, this may be something you hate the idea of and even validating of stupid thoughts that make you act like a psycho bitch, but simply put NOTHING is forever. especially not relationships.

>>84684329
oh because they think little kids like being raped so theyre either bait or a pedophile coping idk

>>84684077
Ok so the begging strat works
I will do that if I ever am so lucky to encounter a big titty beautiful bpdemon

>>84684353
im aware it wont last forever I just dont want to like end it with one of us killing ourself or me traumatizing the shit out of him so id like to keep the Worst things from happening, I know eventually ill get sick of him or he'll get sick of me and it'll end id just rather not go to his place after splitting and find him hanging from the ceiling

>>84684388
its a hit or miss thing, ive had people beg to get with me in the past but I just blocked them
I genuinely enjoy being around him and found it endearing instead of disgusting so it worked for him. it was probably a mix of me already liking him and him being particularly cute about it that made me not block him and never speak to him again

>>84684382
That's not what the post was about.

>>84684085
ask him if he likes u. actively choose to believe he likes u. reject thoughts that hes tricking u. think about how great it is that he likes u.

u literally choose what to believe. choose to believe the good thing for once. eventually it sets in that its real and the thoughts like "he doesnt like me and is tricking me" stop.

>>84684432
okay good advice actually I will try this from now on

>>84684419
Ah ok, there's some bpd girl i was friends with during highschool (Not very close but got along decently, highschool was like 6 months ago for me) i really liked her but I did nothing with her besides hold hands and chat after school. I still have her number so I'm planning on re-entering her life as friends and then orbiting her until she decides to date me maybe.

>>84684391
already happening, BPD relationships are mutually traumatizing if you are not already adjusted and well managed of your symptoms, which clearly you aren't as an 18 year old.
>>84684388
it works if you endear yourself to them and the reason they don't want to is self-doubt/self-hatred.

>>84684391
maybe it's better for a bpd girl to date an emo suicidal boy, it's your perfect match cause look you're worrying about someone else instead of victimizing yourself like bpdemons do

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>>84684157
That is actually good. Glad to see you are self aware and creating boundaries. This is healthy stuff anon. Just keep communicating with him and be patient and clear on what you want and dont want. Looks like you already know what to do to keep this relationship healthy but it takes two to tango so just make sure he is also doing his part. Im happy for you anon keep it up. Update us in the future?

>>84684454
probably would work but not for long term
>>84684459
gimme some hope man I do not want this dude to kill himself and im lowk cooked if I do anything right now

>>84684485
i have been romantic with 4 different individuals who suffer from BPD, and been close with many more that i either decided it was best not to pursue or were not in a position to be romantic. first couple times were the worst but now i am pretty much immune to the bs i guess.
what exactly do you want hope about?

>>84684472
honestly yeah ive noticed i stop getting as angry as I usually do when he starts sobbing because I get scared hes going to hurt himself so it like shocks me back into reality, however there are times where theres like a little part of me that wants him to hurt himself atleast a little bit so I feel better which I dont like thinking, so I will find a way to handle that

>>84684475
thank you for your words I will keep trying and will update when theres any developments

>>84684507
hope about being able to end the relationship or get through it without him ended up dead I guess, youre not dead so obviously theres ways, he's definitely the type to kill himself if I break up with him

>>84684060
I think the only hope for BPDemons is to find a therapist that will fuck them. They need that dual relationship for emotional therapy to work.

>>84684525
wait this is genius

>>84684060
idk you seem pretty retarded and should probably just kill yourself

>>84684524
i have never been suicidal except when I tried taking ssris for a bit. so i'm really not the best example. to be honest, this kind of thing is hard. we all fall for suicide baiting eventually. i say act in whatever way won't make you lose sleep at night, whether they are dead or alive, you'll still have to live with how you acted regardless.

>>84684525
I guess I can elaborate this sounds memey.

for bpd girls they often need to have a whole dedicated team of professionals coordinating together. Because without fucking a bpd girl you will never get to see all of the different angles of her brain that are required to do real work.

>>84684540
okay this makes sense, though im not particularly sure suicide baiting would be the correct comparison, he cut off his family and dropped out and quit his job and basically isolated himself and was going to kill himself if I didnt agree to date him within a few months (he didnt tell me until 3 months into actually dating) so he doesnt actually say he'd kill himself if I broke up with him im just very sure he will

>>84684545
no this makes sense its hard for me to explain my own behaviours to my therapist especially when I only see her every other week so if my therapist was my boyfriend and I split on him then went in for therapy the next day we could address it in full

>>84684569
Yea, its an insane idea but its the way. they are experts at diffusing too. idk what the off ramp would be if things didnt work though.

You can't heal BPD unless you dissolve the walls between the psychological structures, the various personalities and sub-personalities, and recreate one primary personality.

>>84684569
that's kind of manipulative though, just break up with him and let him die, not ur responsibility

>>84684630
I think youre thinking of osdd

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>BPD fembot I edated for 4 years gave me BPD and I gave her PTSD.

>>84684647
No. I'm talking about BPD.

>>84684645
oh no absolutely it's manipulative but like it doesn't change that I like him and would like to continue being around him and he can't do that if he's dead

he's also just generally a manipulative person but I don't care too much usually since I can tell most of the time

If your entire psychological system, the foundational model, is predicated upon the non-remembering, psychological distancing, and emotional suppression of memories, events, and emotions that occurred at a particular point in time with particular people, it is impossible to expect and experience any kind of psychological stability from that system. The personality will always present as chaotic, disordered, and destabilized.

BDP, borderline personality disorder, as a label is an incredibly shit label for what the condition actually is and to this day this dumb label consistently presents as one of the greatest reasons why BPD is untreatable by 99 percent of people.

>>84684664
yeah but he's bluffing just call his bluff and call him gay and retarded

>>84684654
okay buddy

>>84684649
seems accurate

>>84684670
you sound like a nerd

>>84684671
dude usually id agree but you really gotta trust me on this one he has many reasons to kill himself and is crazy enough to try if only to get back at me

>>84684684
>if only to get back at me
well u got out-crazied, so yeah stay with him and suck his dick forever.

>>84684684
What do you think a nerd is?

>>84684670
>>84684630

Just a reminder, such responses were given after the OP wrote:

'bpdemon, f18, in therapy, dating a guy, already noticing that im being a fucking retard, give it to my straight doc, whats wrong with me and how do I fix it, no bullshit,"

Observe:

>>84684684
>you sound like a nerd

>>84684694
I'll do my best
>>84684697
you

Also observe from the OP:


>when I become a bitchy cunt to him and I really dont wanna mess this up
>I become a bitchy cunt to him
>I become a bitchy cunt
>a bitchy cunt

Thread over.

>>84684702
anon is just saying a bunch of nonsensical buzz words he thinks makes him look smart and giving no actual advice or commentary I can work with and I cannot take him seriously

hes also just wrong, bpd has the highest rate of remission and has key treatments that almost always improve the condition, theres no "non remembering" in bpd thats complex ptsd which can be comorbid with bpd but most bpd individuals have full recollection of their trauma and are aware of its effects, distancing can maybe be true, but saying emotional suppression in relation to bpd is really funny imo

this guy is an idiot and thinks hes a genius im not going to interact with a retard seriously man

Observe:

>bpdemon, f18, in therapy, dating a guy, already noticing that im being a fucking retard, give it to my straight doc, whats wrong with me and how do I fix it, no bullshit, be as mean as you want just tell me whats going to fuck up my relationship if I dont stop it now

>>84684727
>anon is just saying a bunch of nonsensical buzz words he thinks makes him look smart and giving no actual advice or commentary I can work with and I cannot take him seriously

>hes also just wrong, bpd has the highest rate of remission and has key treatments that almost always improve the condition, theres no "non remembering" in bpd thats complex ptsd which can be comorbid with bpd but most bpd individuals have full recollection of their trauma and are aware of its effects, distancing can maybe be true, but saying emotional suppression in relation to bpd is really funny imo

>this guy is an idiot and thinks hes a genius im not going to interact with a retard seriously man

>>84684738
Man, who cares
They never change, why doees this thread have 63 replies
What makes robots so infatuated with bpd womeen whene everey single one is ctrl c + ctrl v

>>84684738
okay man do whatever u want if it makes you feel better I guess

>>84684748
honestly yeah ive never had a thread on here die without 50+ replies I dont really get why but im not complaining

>>84684748
Thread is a good example.
Oregano.

>>84684757
Becausee eyou put the words bpd and female
>>84684763
A female acting like a 10 year old asking, "how do I not seeeem so annoying and fuck up" is intereseting?
I gueses a bit, but doesn't it geet a bit boring after the 1000th one when it will all be same eresponses

>>84684775
yeah I'm aware I just dont really get the appeal I guess I'm just gonna be annoying and nobody is getting laid so what do you guys get out of it

>>84684809
I don't know, I just hope to see you dispapear soon
All you bpd women do

>>84684816
me too, but slow down while you're typing, that misspell was kinda crazy, made me think of a pap smear

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>>84684060
Any BPD women here?
INCEL, 26 years of age, 185cm, 68kg. Wants to start an emotionally intimate relationship with a BPD princess. Interested in: being a pseud, cooking, learning new abilities. Must have some kind of vice: smoking, prolonged masturbation, drinking, substances, gambling.

i don't get it OP

do u even like this guy?

>>84684881
more than anything i lliterally can only sleep if hes next to me or im playing a recording of him talking I spend all day thinking of him its kinda pathetic

>>84684077
Well after the first sentence there, I can tell that you're both retards and I don't care if you both kill each other

>>84684060
Take your meds, do the exercises, forever and always lock away your true self, take walks if you feel yourself get worked up

>>84685372
match made in heaven or something idk
>>84686838
thank you i will try this

>>84684060
you are not unique, ive been here for years and Ive seen a thousand dumb bitches like you post the same shit and the answer is always the same, so let me try and be blunt with you

you are a dumb, immature, emotionally stunted bitch. All the things that you are doing are similiar to what a toddler would do in an adult body. There is nothing special about your situation. You all cling to this identity of being mentally ill and quirky but in 6 years you are going to cringe so fucking hard about being serious about all of this.

It doesn't matter. Highschool is still fresh in your mind. The minute adult reality grinds all of your illusions of what you think life is and how you spend your energy in relationships to fucking dust you won't be like this anymore. Paying rent, working a job you hate, constantly doing things you don't want to do and watching your parents and own body age, you won't give a fuck about any of this anymore.

you are not killing yourself, this dude and you are going to split apart because you don't actually like each other you're both just young, and you're going to try this shit on the next guy until you age enough that they won't deal with your bullshit anymore because they develop self respect. Then you either grow the fuck up or chase after younger guys you can manipulate until you die. Get the fuck over yourself.

>>84684060
He's already thinking about abandoning you

Act first

>>84684066
Classic Shipman.

>>84685133
then lean into it. people used to form lifelong relationships from high school. become your best selves for each other rather than yourselves