18 year olds are fucking 29 year olds retard. That's what they were doing when (You) were 18.

35 khhv and I have gotten way lonelier, I am feeling really bad these days

>>84698827
Yeah, your point? That makes the regrets even worse. I said it was impossible because I'm a retarded sperg (and she was really reserved too), not becaus eof the age gap, since Idgaf about that bullshit

>>84698830
At least we can share our despair anon... I wish you the best

>>84698873
How can you have fomo for the thing that you are in. It's the equivalent of saying "I'm going to be late for the movie" during the opening credits.

>>84698802
Still OP here: It's almost like I feel the biological clock like a woman. You'll tell me that men can have kids at 50yo aswell, but I'd say that you won't magically find a young wife at that age (even at 30+ is difficult). I'm fucking doomed I fear

>>84698891
It's more like I'm stuck in the lobby looking at popcorns while I know the first scenes are already on the screen. But it's a special movie where if you miss the first scene the continuation is complete nonsense. That's the feel

>>84698891
The fomo is about not being able to find a mate before it's too late and avoid dying alone. Not about literally being alive (which per se can easily turn into a hell). Hope this clarified the point

>>84698947
My mistake. I misread your original post. You're older than 30 so just plap zoomettes. Don't let being a sperg decide for you that things will never be.

>>84698981
The point is that I can't "plap" zoomettes. Also I don't care about "plapping", I just want to love a girl

>>84698802
>Can someone relate or you don't feel this terrible pressure to find a mate before dying alone?
I'll be 34 this year. Did I miss out? Obviously. And no I don't feel the pressure anymore. I've made peace with it just not happening for me. I can't say I'm happy, but I'm content and I really don't care anymore. I've lived most of my life alone, so continuing to do so dose'nt really bother me, it's just business as usual at this point. So I don't feel pressure or anything like I did in my early 20s.
Do I fear dying alone? Not really. It's not really my choice to make. Plenty of people spend their whole lives married and if they're not the first to go, they all die alone. It's 50/50 for married couples.
What's going to happen is going to happen.
Copes are getting better though so maybe not, for any of us. Maybe hot 10/10 androids will be our nurses/lovers in old age.

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>>84698802
I have already done all my suffering. I can't suffer anymore. You eventually just stop caring
I'm gonna be 30 in a couple of months and my life was just... how can I even describe, it was a tragedy. But it could had been worse, it can always be worse

I was born with aspergers and I got the worst symptoms. Sensory problems. This royaly fucked my life in so many ways. I was so stressed long term throughout my whole god damn life. It effected me a great deal in my development. I had to leave school when I was 12. I would get primary depersonalization often. took me the rest of my teens in solitude to recover basically. Every day was hell. By the time I reached 18, i was doing ok and I tried being normal and made progress, but I only seen my limits and when I was 20 I plunged into very bad depression. I found it hard to accept my limits. I became a husk. There was no revelation coming out of depression in my mid to late 20's, I just couldn't suffer any more. It was weird coming out of it, seeing my nervous system reactivate and even activate to a level it never had been. Painful even. I could feel again, and strongly. And I felt intense yearnings that I was unable to fulfill and it was crippling and despairing. But I eventually stabilised emotionally. I feel like a more complete person now

Do I not feel sad about my fate? Yes, occasionally. But you just learn to not dwell on what you can't change, and you learn to reconcile. It aint the answer you wanted, but you asked. I'm sorry buddy, but us wizards attained our peace and our power level through immense suffering and sacrifice. We've sunk to the dark depths and emerged intact, and there is nothing that can hurt you anymore. That's how it is. If you can't let go of your worldly desires, then you haven't suffered enough. Keep suffering. Revel in it. That is what you will do regardless

I didn't stop caring once I became I wizard. I became a wizard because I never cared in the first place.

>>84699117
By dying alone I mean with no family, no one caring about your existence. I want kids, living a life alone is wasting it.
>>84699355
I'm sad to hear that anon. But I won't say that we couldn't change that. In the past being a sperg wasn't an issue. We have a problem in this post sexual revolution extrovert normie fluid society. And that is no by default. This enrages me beyond any imagination

>>84699459
Not relatable, I always cared, maybe not enough tho

>>84699523
I don't know what kind of life you live or what your difficulties are, but if you are anything like me:
Your only options if you want to seek the worldly path are to find some weirdo DnD weeaboo femautist chick or something, but you have to make the right kind of friends and social life to create the chance of that happening. There are women who might want failures like ourselves, but they are rare and odd specimens who you will only find at places you would expect to find them in

Idk, man. If you think you have it in you, then give it your fucking all and don't you dare squander any chances. For me, it was over before I was even born I suspect. I didn't stand a chance. Still don't unless I find something to do with myself and radically change my life fast, making workarounds for my disability. I'm at a lost for what to do. I can't be salvaged. Perhaps you can. But we all have different struggles

>>84699715
Idk man, if you're a high functioning sperg like me the problem is mostly about fitting in with the modern way of socializing. I know for sure that I'd be able to have a normal relationship if I could find the right girl. I don't even expect her to be a complete nerd, just a decent woman, like how it was the norm in the past (not a turbo extrovert retard with 0 dignity and body count in the hundreds whore, to be clear). My problem is to be more "open" about it. I'm stuck, as I said. Also, I don't have a social circle at all, I'm isolated, and that's another huge issue about this problem. I don't enjoy being around people, therefore I don't have chances to know any girl. The one I fell for was a random encounter, I worked with her for a month. I feel like I can't get intimate with people, and I only start to know them after a LOT of time spent forcefully together (like school or work). I never knew anyone outside those situations, I can't even fathom how the fuck do you meet someone and after a few small talk you are friends. Normies dynamics really are unfathomable to me

Btw, before meeting that girl I felt like I was missing out, but it was bearable. Like you said, it was the norm. But now it's like mourning the loss of something real. It really hurts, and I constantly think how better everything could've felt if I experienced it with her instead of alone. That really fucked me up as I said. Especially because I thought it was bullshit, or at least that I was immune to it. But suddenly I knew that it's fucking real and super rare aswell. It's like finding out that unicorns exist but the only one you saw was sent to the glue factory because you focused too much on how its horn could hurt you instead of doing something, if you know what I mean

>>84700186
Now I'm hyper focusing on my age, I feel like I'm already 90yo, I feel like "zoomettes"see me as their grandpa. I was never "young". Or, more precisely, I'm both at the same time a child internally and an old man on the exterior, but not a young person. I never was. Not one of the expected "modern" extrovert ones at least

>>84698830
38 and a jobless neet.
I really have to find a way to end it fast.

>>84700246
Op again, I'm younger than you, but Anon, find a job. I wish I did it earlier, it really helps, even if it's energy draining and depressing and the neet life is comfy. I assure you, if I started at 19/20 or even 21 maybe I could've ended up with a gf somehow. It's a great way to break the isolation without actually having to do the normie stuff to meet them. In my current job I'm with a younger guy and older women, so there are no available girls, except that one 18yo intern I met last year. So it also depends on the job environment. But even if you won't meet anyone, having a job boosts your confidence subconciously. I think that having a stable job also pushed me to face the gf issue and the whole biological clock thing and urge to find a mate. Can't tell if it's a good thing or a bad thing at this point, but it surely is a necessary step if you want to leave that miserbale lonely situation

>>84700079
If you have a job, you're doing a hell of a lot better than me, brother. I relate to when you said "I feel like I can't get intimate with people, and I only start to know them after a LOT of time spent forcefully together" but to be honest, I that's the least of my struggles. It is the sensory shit. If I were free of it, I feel like conquering the social struggle would be child's play because I could make some sort of life for myself. Don't take your high functioning for granted, use it to the best you can. As I said, you got to pick up new behaviours and routines so you are around women, particularly the kind of woman that might be interested in someone like you. I don't know what that would be for you

Modern social structures are fucked, there's nothing. The internet has sort of destroyed that. So you got to carve a path to a social life out for yourself manually. I'd be doing that right now if I was able for it but im not

>>84700079
>>84701102
I mean there has to be something you like to do that is chill and not overwhelming socially, but that can introduce you to new people and maybe a nice lady. I think a lot of it is just getting out, it increases your chance encounters. Even going to the library even if it isn't used as much anymore is better than at home, because you don't meet anyone at home

Of course, being a sperg, a lot more of those encounters will be duds, but it's a chance game. Where you go, how often you go, how you interact with people, the chance of meeting a fella that you can actually connect with, maybe he has a friend group that can take you in, maybe they introduce you to women, so on and so. That's how it goes for normoids

>>84700995
nta, and I'm not as old as him but close.
When did you get your job, and what sort of work is it? because getting a job when you have a long gap in work history gets exponentially worse as your 30s progress.
I agree fellow NEET anons should get employed asap, but its not so simple. Getting a wagie job with 0 future as your peers' kids enter elementary school is suicide fuel.
But to your point in the OP, I was the same, I think it takes a few years for the reality of being 30 to sink in. Men get that biological pressure too, but we're not as limited by our fertility. You're right having that job is a boon for you, I wish you the best of luck.

>>84701102
As a kid and up until the end of high school I was ridden with somatic anxiety issues, so I can somehow undertsand your issue. I somehow reduced the problem when I realized it was just anxiety, and not a real illness. Also, growing up I started to feel more power over my body, if that makes sense. Like before I was a slave of my body sensations. Even a simple full stomach after lunch was interpreted as a stomach ache, and I was constantly in pain and terrified by those overwhelming feelings of illness. But it was of course overreaction caused by anxiety and possibly the spectrum influence (I was never diagnosed btw, but all the sympthoms are here, just not strong enough to be a full blown autist). Probably if I was a little child nowadays they'd have called me an asperger or whatever, but the reality is the same. That said, we "autists", with our over logical minds, need a ritualized structure to understand how to act in a social context. I would've been a perfectly ingrained individual just 100 years ago. I'd have probably asked that very intern girl as a fiance and then wife following the standardized process. But nowadays, as you said, everything imploded. There are only two paths: act like an animal, follow your lowest instincts like a npc normie, or be alone, isolated, atomized. There are no communities that make you know people. There are no rituals to follow to know strangers. We're just animals at this point. But our logical mind can't accept being an animal. It's not only a skill issue. I mean, everyone could go to a disco and start hitting on girls like a bonobo. But I'd feel dirty, I actually REFUSE to act that way. It would be a treason to my own human nature to be like that. This is why I feel stuck. It's a problem with no solutions. Only a statistical miracle can save me (aka casually finding a girl that makes me happy).

>>84701332
But since in 30+ years it only happened once last year, I fear it's a one in a million chance, and I didn't even try to buy the lottery ticket basically
>>84701168
I really don't know what that activity could be. Add that I always feel completely tired and with 0 willpower...
Also about the possible friends taking you in their group: I fear that happens only when you're young. In a previous job, a couple years ago, there were a lot of collegues in their 20s (I was 29). I was invited by them to their drinking evenings. Of course, I didn't really know how to fucking act, but somehow I always result as a sympathetic guy, even if a bit weird (weird as a detached, intellectual, cold guy, not as a clown. Which actually puts even more distance between me and them). So it can happen, but it requires a specific environment and, especially, a correct age (which I'm starting to lose, and there's the fomo thing returning)

>>84701240
I got the first meme temporary job at 26 (with other 20s collegues), then Covid pause, then a more serious but still temporary job at 29 (the one with the group of other young guys and girls, from 20 to 30yo). Then at 31 this last job is more serious and possibly long term. I changed two offices of the same company. In one I was together with women of different ages (from late 20s to 50yo+ that perfect intern girl I completely lose my mind over). Being with them actually felt both comfy (I was the only male, so they left me alone and treated me with sympathy) and alienating aswell (I was unable to indulge in their constant small talk). Now I'm in a smaller office with a younger guy, and some older women, so I'm pretty isolated. That's it, the story of my wage slaving

>>84701415
Before you say "an office of several ladies and you never hit on them?"
1) they were ALL married/engaged (except the intern)
2) I'm a turbo sperg autost and I don't "hit" on girls, I just overthink about every little reaction and then after a year I realize that maybe there was a chance and eat my heart out thinking about how things could've been

To be fair, I tried some little vanilla move on the intern girl (it costed my an enormous amount of guts to do so tho). I guess that after a year or two of forced proximity I could've slowly increased my boldness. But sadly the internship lasted one month, only enough to fix her in my mind and basically make me an obsessed fag that now gets tearful over her memory

>>84701459
In a previous thread they told me that ehat I feel is "just" limerence, not real love, aka a projection of my ideals onto a girl I don't really know. But as I said, I never felt anything like that. It was a mix of physical attraction (but not a lustful one), a urge to protect and care for her and a sweet sense of tenderness in my chest (I know, it sounds cliche but it really is a physical hot feeling between your lungs). Everything makes me think of her even after a year, and I often panic over the idea of having lost her forever. For example, I hear that high schoolers are going to have their final exams, or while I'm tucking my shirt I remember the way she did it, or I just see the year of her birth and I immediately think of her, feeling a sudden lack of breath and pressure, basically a micro panic attack. "It's fucking terrible" you may say: yes, but it's also addicting, like heroin. I actually enjoy that shit as much as it makes me feel bad and depressed. I fear I'm not going to recover from this, I never experienced anything like this. I guess that being an OCD ridden sperg makes it even worse. If anyone can relate, I'd like to hear your take on this

>>84701415
>>84701434
nah I wouldn't accuse you of not hitting on everything that moves lol. I'm a sperg over thinker too.
I've been out since Covid, and its made even interacting with girls beyond platonic acquaintance a real bitch. I'm not some cool drug dealer bum, I'm just a depressed introvert. You may have gotten the fomo from that one girl, but I have faith another will cross your path. Or who knows, maybe you'll run into her again

>>84701587
>maybe you'll run into her again
This vague hope is actually obsession fuel of the worst species. I constantly fantasize about (very unlikely to happen) scenarios where I'm able to meet her again. Knowing her address and the town where she lives makes her loss look like more reversible even if it's actually not. So you start daydreaming aboy writing letters and other bullshit that you can't really do if you don't want to look like a turbo creep perv maniac sicko weirdo. Then you think that in the past that would've been even a super cool romantic move, while today you're basically Ted Bundy reincarnated if you pull that shit. We live in a society...

>>84701642
>the town where she lives
Also: after I left that office, I felt a great deal of nostalgia. Then at the beginning of this current year I returned there momentarily a few days (as said it's still the same company). It's there that I realized that the gut wretching nostalgia feeling wasn't actually caused by the town or the office environment, but by the memory of that girl (for which of course I already was completely cooked). This sort of revelation increased my obsession, and I even tried to write her a message on instagram to ask how was it going since I visited the office and she was the only one I could not greet. But Fate was against me even in that, since she has bomb-proof privacy settings on her profile, and the message was never delivered (we don't follow each other, and my account is basically an indian bot with not even a single pic)...

Side note: I'm baffled that I need to bump this thread constantly. Where the fuck all the rebots are? This place used to be the best for discussions about those topics. Is this just a gay porn board at this point? Sad!

Well, see you in a few hours if this shit thread doesn't get archived earlier. Hope to find some reply later. Bump!

>>84698802
Exactly the same feel and I actually talk to women, I'm 25 in college and jumping from odd job to odd job to make some cash to take girls out but I just get 'polite' rejections or they already have a boyfriend/crush and I think it's making me go insane too. Take solace in the knowledge that even if you weren't a sperg you'd still be stuck with NOTHING because you wouldn't even get the chance to try your hand at romance or courtship. For me at this point it has boiled to down to just cold approach any girl you think is pretty and PRAY TO GOD that she even considers accepting to spend some time with you or a date of any kind that doesn't end up as you just paying for her meal. God have mercy on us all.