Years and years of sadness and regret, I tried everything to get better, but it has literally been years and many moments full of existential terror, shame and it doesn't help that I am a clinical loner, I have been in a psychiatric hospital twice in two years, the first time for trying to commit suicide and the last year for a psychotic break, and when I am outside trying to do my life normally and talking to people, I just see myself as a person with mental problems, the only reason they ignore that is because I am pretty, even if I see myself as a real cancer, it is stressful to deal with this. since the psychotic break I started watching crazy shit and believing in crazy shit, like God, the devil and dead people, I feel watched every day, I'm all day thinking about shit that makes me feel bad. I have been trying to deal with this for more than a year, I started doing what my visions told me to do, it never worked and in the last few days I started repressing every sign of hope, I want to keep myself without hope, it feels good. I don't want anything. I'm thinking about killing myself soon, I started thinking about ways to kill myself and if things keep going like this, I'm going to kill myself in two weeks and I tried to think about my family, but I don't think it will last long. Should I kill myself for being a schizotard or should I keep trying?
>>84747003Those who endure to the end will be saved.
lmao this dumbass schizo believes in dead peoppe
First: I'm not gonna tell you not to kill yourself, since it is your own life. Do as you wish with it.Second: How are you a clinical loner? Does everyone you try to be friends with eventually ghost you, or can you just not bring yourself to make friends?
>>84747151Bump. Answer my question OP. I need more info to know if you should keep trying.
>>84747003KEEP TRYING BLOXBLOX OP YOU CAN DO IT
>>84747151I always isolate myself, i dont feel comfortable whit people, i walked away whit too many people, i like people and i can love and do funny things like drinking and do drugs but it doesnt helps at all.
>>84747003you shouldn't because i don't want you tostay alive for this anon on /r9k/
