NEVER act on mixed signals is the lesson I learned today, lost one of my closest friends, a woman who is unsure about dating me and has been friends with me for months, because I ended up physicaly trying to have sex with her in a mixed signal context (because I am a horny bastard who is in love with her.)>have close friend who is a woman>we are really close>I sort of fall in love with her>she has said she has some feelings for me but doesn't want to date/have sex, thinks it's a bad idea and that friends is betteranyways>we go out and have a few drinks the other night>she wants to go back to my place because she is sick of her roommates>we have a great time just bullshitting around>go to bed>invites me into bed with her (I was gonna sleep on the couch)>invites me to cuddle with her>gives me a massage (I should've given her one back, I was kind of just in shock at everything)>every time I try to kiss her or escalate she tells me she can't kiss me or have sex with me >we fall asleep1/2
here's where I fucked up>wake up in middle of night>spooning her>put my hand on her breast and start playing with her nipple>she wakes up but doesn't protest>keep playing with her nipples and breasts until she is visibly aroused and moving her body>unbutton her pants and pull her tight and start fingering her>she seems really into it>eventually flip her over to start trying to kiss her and take her clothes off>she stops me, says she can't date me or have sex with me again>she embraces me and we hold each other for a while, then she uses the bathroom and leavesI thought she might have just gotten overwhelmed but she sent me a text today saying I was being incredibly selfish, and that she doesn't want to associate with me in any capacity anymore, and that she doesn't like me. Basically implying I was date raping her, which maybe she has a case for...I really am in love with her, and I let my dick get the better of me because I thought it was my chance to break out of the friendzone.I really regret inadvertantly destroying the friendship and I worry she will tell everyone I am a rapist or something....
I will say it's a little fucked up to just be fondling her breasts like that without permission while she was sleeping. Think she left out of fear? Have you spoken with her since?
>>84753001>>84753024men and women can't be friends. next thread.
>>84753037You should of just cuddled and kept things as they are and it will naturally progress to you dating
>>84753065yeah, I realize this now, that's why I am so mad for thinking with my dick instead of my heart/brain>>84753037waking women up with foreplay has been a pretty reliable way to get laid in some of my previous relationships. the moment a woman says "no," I back down. No means no, and I respect that,..I haven't spoken to her since, I sent a message expressing how remorseful I felt and how my behavior was out of line and how I am going to leave her alone, and to let me know if there is anything I can do to make it up to her.We work together but I doubt we will be talking at work until she feels better.
>>84753104Well it's good warning for others in the same situation in the future
>>84753104>We work togetherYou better hope she doesn't make it an issue at work
>>84753140yeah, I'm a little worried about that. She is the only woman in the workplace though, and the other guys there are probably more likely to brush it off than demonize me.
sorry to hear that, OP. a certain type of person will see you as an evil rapist monster, but you know you aren't.i think playing with her nipples was a step too far, and you should have just asked (it sounds cliche, but yeah, literally ask).at the same time, that's BEYOND 'leading you on' if she didn't want anything. people always use this term as though it's reserved for rapisrs, but...women lead men on, that's what they do. if she definitively did not want anything, she should not have taken these actions. that's just fucking with your head/heart.hope it all works out, anon.
>>84753166Oh yeah you should be fine. I was thinking about how that would go over at my job where most of my coworkers are women.
>>84753001>invites me into bed with her (I was gonna sleep on the couch)No girl will ever invite you into her bed without knowing what that means. She probably just got cold feet. I don't care how 'close' of a friend a man is to a woman, she will never invite him to sleep next to her unless she has feelings beyond that.You'll be fine dude. Just leave her alone like she wants now and don't sperg too hard around her. Don't apologize too profusely either and she may begin to second-guess herself because they do that shit constantly.
