File: 1646923029416.jpg (839 KB, 1080x1379)

839 KB JPG

links :33

> long list of self harm alternatives (thank you muddy):
https://imgur.io/a/7Q2zgw7

>a first aid post cuting:
https://www.lifesigns.org.uk/first-aid-for-self-injury-and-self-harm/

>a wound care guide:
https://docs.google.com/document/d/1CsvJs8qNCVkHWHKekMSmCn6qn0GBEcgnq9fIqlA6Uv0/mobilebasic

>a bpd workbook:
https://d-pdf.com/book/1781/read

>a bpd Information Book (anon said it's exceptionally good)
https://annas-archive.org/md5/1a4f329474320214a120a4d553c6b60c

>a bdbt (dialectical behavioral therapy)
workbook is intended for BPD but can work for anyone:
https://cursosdepsicologia.com.ar/wp-content/uploads/2021/05/THEDIA1.pdf

Please don't post any drastic images and if you have to, spoiler them

>>84762690
Helloooo \o/

>How are you doing today?
Kinda bad? Idk. Ran out of cigs, got no money and school tmr..

>Any plans for today?
Probs just gonna play bo3 or rainbow six all night cuz I dont wanna sleep

>Is there anything bothering you right now?
Feeling a bit sick, idk tho..

File: Liquid_snake.jpg (61 KB, 1024x881)

61 KB JPG

>>84762690
heya cat :D

>>84762868
heya hope you feel better soon and everything <3
btw what's your favorite bo3 zombies map? I'm currently playing origins

File: IMG_20191112_064948.png (383 KB, 720x672)

383 KB PNG

doing my push-ups rn

>>84762868
hayaaa :DD
>Kinda bad?
D:
>Ran out of cigs, got no money and school tmr..
sounds sucky
gonna be a long day at school?
>cuz I dont wanna sleep
have fun and don't pass out tomorrow
>Feeling a bit sick,
maybe allergies?

>>84763038
>gonna be a long day at school?
8 am to 4pm.. gonna be home at around 7 :s

>have fun and don't pass out tomorrow
tyy :3

>maybe allergies?
noo.. just feeling a little bit light headed / dizzy..

>>84763033
>eya hope you feel better soon and everything <3
tyyy :D

>btw what's your favorite bo3 zombies map?
ascension defo. love ittt

File: catstudy.jpg (34 KB, 346x346)

34 KB JPG

>>84763234
>8 am to 4pm
XwX
>tyy :3
no prob
are you playing with friends?
>just feeling a little bit light headed / dizzy..
well better than yesterdays headache

>>84763033
helloo
how's it going?

>>84763288
>are you playing with friends?
which friends TwT

>well better than yesterdays headache
yeaa..

File: 1780795731031911.jpg (103 KB, 970x1280)

103 KB JPG

>>84763292
>which friends TwT
:<
well maybe you could find someone to play with?

File: konatakms.jpg (174 KB, 1154x967)

174 KB JPG

>>84763707
>well maybe you could find someone
been trying to find people for 2 years now. not just for games but just to have some friends. but guess what. it never worked :D

but fuck it maybe its just what i deserve ;p

File: 1673220311695060.jpg (37 KB, 708x712)

37 KB JPG

>>84763716
well it's not much but you have us :3
though I don't play tarkov haha xP
but not that long ago we all played minecraft and we might do that again just gotta find some time and ask everyone about it and maybe discardedanon could set up a server
Would you like to play some minecraft? or maybe there's some free funny multiplayer game we could all play??
>maybe its just what i deserve ;p
nope
picrel

>>84763861
>well it's not much but you have us :3
yeah, n all are the only people i talk to. glad i found this thread..

>Would you like to play some minecraft?
having a server sounds fun. maybs ill join in someday. ill keep that in mind

>or maybe there's some free funny multiplayer game we could all play
hmm the only big f2p game that comes to my mind rn is destiny 2..

>picrel
:')

>>84762690
Cat! Glad to see you're still around. I haven't been on here in a couple months. How have you been? I dont remember exactly what I said but I do remember posting in your thread a couple months ago when I was planning on killing myself. Ended up committing myself to a psychward instead. Probably the best thing I could have done. Finally found some meds that are really helping and I think I might actually be able to do something with my life for once. As long as the meds and this mental stability I've found continues to hold, anyway. Hope you're doing well.

File: 1779716387405547.jpg (462 KB, 1200x800)

462 KB JPG

>>84762690
hi catbro!

>late caturday edition ^w^
guess i'm not the only one then, but i'm a bit more late. couple of days late. even too late for caturday. damn... (^-^;)

>>84762868
hi yvki!

>Feeling a bit sick, idk tho..
same. not sure where it's coming from, though. maybe just my mental state affecting my body.

>>84763033
hi gator! did you do any workouts this weekend?

>>84763038
>doing my push-ups rn
good job, buddy. i was lazy today. no use to force myself when i'm in a mood like that.

>>84763987
hii

>maybe just my mental state affecting my body.
hmm hope u feel better soon!! :<

File: 7nb5spjn2etb1.jpg (69 KB, 984x524)

69 KB JPG

wassup guys, today and yesterday were kinda tough but i smoked a bit and now i'm alr

>>84762690
Where does one start with cutting? Wrists? Thighs?

wait this thread isnt about circumcision

File: CatFren.png (593 KB, 720x720)

593 KB PNG

>>84763934
>all are the only people i talk to.
same!
besides one guy I go on bike rides with sometimes but besides that we don't really talk
> glad i found this thread..
happy to have you ^^
>having a server sounds fun
it probably won't be like a long thing just a day or maybe a couple
>hmm the only big f2p game
hmmmm I'll think
there probably is some free friend slop that will run on my potato
>:')
:D

>>84763936
hello ^^
>haven't been on here in a couple months
aw and I'm glad you're here to give us an update on how you're doing :>
>How have you been?
hm let's see
I failed uni some time ago, I am mostly chilling now sitting at home and going on bikerides and working on maps
>committing myself to a psychward instead.
good choice!
>best thing I could have done.
wow very glad to hear it's helped you!!
I've heard it doesn't always work out like that
I guess you got in contact with a doctor at the ward and they got you meds?
>meds and this mental stability I've found continues to hold
best of luucckk
>Hope you're doing well.
thank you :3
and btw do you remember under what name you were posting those couple months ago?

>>84763987
heyo
>bit more late
heh ^^
but you are here!
how are you?
>no use to force myself when i'm in a mood like that.
that's okay I missed a couple days too
oh btw is that the bladerunner image you were looking for some time ago??

>>84764062
heya
>today and yesterday were kinda
something happened or you just weren't feeling well?
>smoked a bit and now i'm alr
it's good it helped you get better
though I hope you don't rely on it too much fren

>>84764083
hi anon o/
>Where does one
ideally nowhere
why does one stats cutting?

>>84764094
wait it's not!?

>>84764120
>wait it's not!?
lmaooo TwT

>>84764097
just a day or maybe a couple
better than nothing!

>slop that will run on my potato
unturned maybe?

>>84764144
holy shit i suck at typing rn geez. thats a sign of nic withdrawal

File: d83c6fc5c263db5c81191f361(...).jpg (46 KB, 564x713)

46 KB JPG

gettin sleepy and I'll probably have to wake up a little earlier tomorrow so gnite

>>84764144
>better than nothing!
yep :D
>unturned maybe?
I remember playing a lot of that game years ago
I'll think abt ir but too sleepy to think rn

>>84764149
as long as you're able to solve captcha you're probably good :]

>>84764182
gnight!!

>I remember playing a lot of that game years ago
sameee its was really fun back then

>as long as you're able to solve captcha you're probably good :]
i was too stupid to do that last night...

File: 3dc3bde1593109938050bed96(...).jpg (149 KB, 1080x1920)

149 KB JPG

goodnight to those going to bed and hi to the ones still up

>>84764120
>something happened or you just weren't feeling well?
some things happened ig.
>you don't rely on it too much fren
i try not to but sometimes it's quite difficult

File: __yua_serufu_lucky_star_a(...).jpg (279 KB, 1152x648)

279 KB JPG

>>84764041
>hope u feel better soon!! :<
thank you. would be nice, but i'm not convinced it will get better soon. everything is just feeling off. but enough of that. how was your weekend? saw you posted your record player setup last thread. how is it?

>>84764062
hey, dude. glad you're ok. what's been bothering you?

>>84764097
>but you are here!
no place i'd rather be.

>how are you?
not that great. met with some friends yesterday to play a game, but it's just no fun to me anymore. game's devs just been changing the rules in the wrong direction. we also ordered some food and the guys got my order wrong. just a shit day all around. today i was still hung up about it. did you have a good weekend at least?

>that's okay I missed a couple days too
as long as we get back to it, it shouldn't be too bad.

>is that the bladerunner image you were looking for
yup. someone posted in the the diy-thread on /a/. lucky me.

>>84764182
good night!

>>84764261
>'m not convinced it will get better soon. everything is just feeling off.
sorry to hear that... :<

>how was your weekend?
pretty boring ig.. just played games :s

>saw you posted your record player setup last thread. how is it?
its good! n i loooove 2 records i have here. gotta fix the speed a bit but other than that i looove it :D

File: 8c61bcc70d56ce2a7fff1dc3f(...).jpg (613 KB, 2479x3511)

613 KB JPG

Evening everyone, hope you're all well.
I'll probably head to bed soon, sorry if I've missed anyone.

>>84756182
>it was the same and sucked
A surefire way to anger the player is to punish them for stuff largely out of their control...
>that's actually sick
I can't think of anything else that has that level of depth for fictional bands. I think there's 26 different bands, all with their own lore and distinct (enough) sound from each other. https://splatoonwiki.org/wiki/List_of_bands_in_the_Splatoon_series
I would have loved it as an autistic kid.
>that must have really sucked then
It wasn't too bad since I don't have much desire to leave the house in the first place.
>i plan to go no contact the second i leave
That's fair enough if you think it's warranted although it could bite you in the ass if you need them for anything later. Hopefully you can do that sooner than later if they're more trouble than it's worth.

>>84757311
Get well soon!

>>84762868
>Feeling a bit sick, idk tho..
I feel like lots of anons are getting ill. I hope I didn't pass my sickness on to any of you.

>>84763936
Great to hear you're doing better, anon. Feel free to stick around in the thread if you'd like.

>>84763861
>maybe discardedanon could set up a server
I might have to delay this until early July (on account of not wanting to get too distracted before an extremely important deadline). I hope that's not too long of a delay. But I'm more than happy to host it once I'm freed up.

>>84763987
Hello Yuanon. Better late than never.

File: eaf59df7ff7b6ec4adbfb15bd(...).jpg (61 KB, 888x888)

61 KB JPG

>>84764278
>sorry to hear that... :<
no worries. i get like that sometimes. i'll get better eventually.

>just played games :s
same. mostly played control. should be getting close to the end now, i think. i played a lot today... what games did you play?

>>84764282
>I'll probably head to bed soon
sleep well!

>Better late than never.
true, true. i just don't like that this is how it is now. :/ anyways, i was talking about that kitchen appliance last thread and you asked which one it was. took me a bit to find it again, but it is called the suvie kitchen robot. these kind of all in one solutions seem to be the latest fad.

>>84764451
>what games did you play?
too many.. far cry 5, black ops 3, rainbow six, clone hero..

probs gonna spend the whole night playing r6 so i can then pass out in school tmr :p

File: life is gay.jpg (38 KB, 976x549)

38 KB JPG

relapsed ealier but its alright.

>>84763234
>ascension defo. love ittt
good chose super fun and easy to play for hours

>>84763288
hey it's going alright been wayy to lazy tho

>>84763987
>did you do any workouts this weekend?
not really did a little yesterday tho. you?


>>84764237
well hi then :D

had to split in 2 cause was saying it was spam

>>84764282
good evening
> surefire way to anger the player is to punish them for stuff largely out of their control...
exactly, main reason i fell out with the game, just felt like i could do great but still lose
> think there's 26 different bands
dang so in depth, always nice too see a game care about the lore and world
>I would have loved it as an autistic kid
same x3
>It wasn't too bad since I don't have much desire to leave the house in the first place.
fair, fair. i've always hated being inside all day but also outside sucks too x3
>spoiler
yea that's what i'm scared of, i've never been independent before, and im not rich, and don't have anyone near i could go to if things go bad, but for me idk they just ruined a large chunk of my life, so im trying to not have to deal with them ever

>>84764538
>super fun and easy to play for hours
frr its just so chill... too bad not many people play it.. at least on ps5 :s

also why tf is ur pic called "life is gay" lmao TwT

File: images.jpg (17 KB, 188x268)

17 KB JPG

>>84764261
>what's been bothering you?
just some stuff in my personal life I guess

>>84764493
had a great time with far cry 5 ngl

>>84764538
hey man, whats up? hope you're doing alright


https://youtu.be/QFiuX4GNabM?si=8T0LcT2m8PwKlkZl

File: doityourself-ep11-scr13.jpg (321 KB, 1920x1080)

321 KB JPG

>>84764493
>far cry 5, black ops 3, rainbow six, clone hero..
lots of shooters in there. your favorite genre? and what's clone hero?

>spend the whole night playing r6 so i can then pass out in school tmr :p
sounds like a plan. maybe not the best plan, but a plan nonetheless. any kind of gamemode you prefer? don't know much about r6. played it way back when it was an actual swat team simulator.

>>84764538
>its alright
not alright :< just make sure to take care of it.

>did a little yesterday tho. you?
same. just the 10 minute one. i really like that. get's right to the point without overstaying it's welcome. today i felt too bad to even do that, though. i'll try again tomorrow.

>>84764597
>just some stuff in my personal life I guess
alright, i won't pry. cool pic, though.

>>84764665
>your favorite genre?
Not really.. dont have a fav genre desu

>whats clone hero
Open source pc port of guitar hero

>gamemode
Just playing quick match bomb rn. Dont really like secure area or hostage :/

>>84764785
>dont have a fav genre desu
i see. you've got an eclectic taste. for me it's mostly soulslikes and metroidvanias with the odd roguelite in between. was really into rts and point&click adventures, but both of those are pretty dead these days.

>Open source pc port of guitar hero
do you have a proper controller for that? i was always pretty bad at those games.

>Just playing quick match bomb rn
is that like a counterstrike mode?

>Dont really like secure area or hostage :/
i also tend to hone in on one mode and never bother with anything else. friend always tried to get me into fun-modes in dota. always hated those. >:[

should try to get some sleep. good night, everone!

>>84764878
>and metroidvanias
those are amaaaazing

>rts and point&click adventures
played a shit ton of RTS during homeschooling. thats the reason why i had 800 hours in company of heroes 2 on my old steam acc

>do you have a proper controller for that?
yea i play tournaments. same as for smash bros melee

>is that like a counterstrike mode?
mm kinda yea!

>friend always tried to get me into fun-modes in dota.
installed dota a few days ago but didnt play it yet. im more of a league guy xD

>>84764878
oh and good night!!

>>84764561
>too bad not many people play it.. at least on ps5 :s
awe that sucks :(
>also why tf is ur pic called "life is gay" lmao TwT
just am in a very gay mood ig, got the femboy cloths on

>>84764597
>hey man, whats up? hope you're doing alright
hey not much really, school ended now so am incredibly bored. what's been up with you?

>>84764665
> just make sure to take care of it.
i will, i will
> just the 10 minute one. i really like that. get's right to the point without overstaying it's welcome. today i felt too bad to even do that, though. i'll try again tomorrow.
oh im sorry about that, definatly can be weird working out on the weekend to me

>>84765013
>so am incredibly bored.
maybe go to bed early?
>what's been up with you?
high af listening to my old playlists

>>84765013
>got the femboy cloths on
yooo :o (lowk same..)

>>84765069
>maybe go to bed early?
yea probally will end up doing that
>high af listening to my old playlists
nice :] sounds very relaxing and chill

>>84765133
>yooo :o (lowk same..)
Oooo peak !!!

>cutters
>no image posted
fucking larpers, learn to gatekeep this shit better

Checking in. I don't quite feel like myself. I'm at a crossroads in my life where I really need to get my act together: I have to find a viable career path, move out of the house, pursue my passions, find love and...I just can't. I'm paralyzed by either fear or depression. I don't know how to move on.

I wish I had my heart back. I used to be so full of passion when I was young, but slowly it's been drained from me. I'm scared I'll become a soulless husk of a man.

>>84764062
Hope you're doing well man.

>>84763987
Love this photo.

nightly bump to everyone sleep well you all

>>84766861
dont let the bedbugs bite :3

File: RDT_20241119_230847898717(...).jpg (620 KB, 768x1024)

620 KB JPG

good mronin o/
I'm gonna go on a bikeride today :3
How are you guys?

File: 1765773425011151.webm (427 KB, 1280x720)

427 KB WEBM

>tfw met an old childhood friend at the psych ward
>he was in there because of self-harm as well
What a life. What a damned life.

File: 9909281b2da8ded06c5d21fed(...).jpg (93 KB, 1029x1035)

93 KB JPG

>>84764451
>the suvie kitchen robot
It's pretty neat but it looks very expensive. To be honest the usecase is probably people in my situation but I wouldn't get one if I had a full-size kitchen.
>these kind of all in one solutions seem to be the latest fad
What else do you sell the man who has everything?

>>84764549
>i've never been independent before
It's not too bad. I was thrown in at the deep end by moving to another continent alone and it was very overwhelming, but once you figure out how to buy food you'll probably be fine.
>idk they just ruined a large chunk of my life, so im trying to not have to deal with them ever
That's fair enough. I don't hold any resentment towards mine, but my definitely got less stressful after moving out, despite having more responsibilities.
If you've got any questions about the practicalities I'm happy to answer them (and I'm sure other posters will be too).

>>84765980
Sorry to hear that Okabe.
I was in a similar spot when I was a NEET for a few years and to be honest I'm not really sure what changed to get me out of it.
I remember trying to learn game development around then, so it might help to focus on a project or learning a new skill if you can find the energy.

>>84768170
It's a small world. Was it nice seeing him, at least?

File: Spoiler Image (899 KB, 4000x2252)

899 KB JPG

>>84762690
I know its better to not send drastic images but what are your thoughts on my first cuts? Did them some days ago. I threw away the blades after some friends asked me to and also because I think it was the best choice but I still have in mind the thought of cutting myself when Im too stressed

>>84769610
why r your legs so hairy

>>84769742
Because God hates me

>>84769610
My thoughts are: if you absolutely have to keep cutting. Never ever go deeper than that. I regularly went into the fat tissue and my arms are now deformed forever.

>>84769610
Also it goes without saying: you shouldn't cut yourself. Or intentionally harm yourself in any way. Be it physical or mental. Speak to a professional and hope they can help you.
t. >>84770445

File: 1635939384425.jpg (46 KB, 720x828)

46 KB JPG

im home guuhh

>>84770517
>>84770445
Right now I stopped and threw away the blades... Im too scared to cut deeper because I dont want to end up in an hospital

File: 1749410105322842.webm (692 KB, 720x404)

692 KB WEBM

>>84771112
That's great. But for it to keep you from doing it again you should try to think for yourself: why did you do it in the first place? Was it an impulse? Was it planned for a while? What function did it fill for you in the short term? In the long term? Whenever the thought comes for you the next time that you should hurt yourself, how should you respond to the thought? Or do you even have to respond to the thought or just let it slip? Thoughts are just your brain making up things in the present.
Don't reply to us here, but take a deep look within yourself. And be honest with yourself about what you think and feel. Hopefully you will come out stronger from this the next time your brain tells you dumb shit. And if you think you will do this again, talk to a professional. They are experienced in this kind of stuff and can help you. :)

File: opossum5.png (402 KB, 400x600)

402 KB PNG

>>84762690
I got another retail job offer today. I planned on turning it down because I have better options right now. The manager talked so fast, I never had a chance.
Someone finally pushed an my HVAC application forward.
Turns out, it was auto rejected and a referral over turned that decision.
That really sucks, but I guess I should take advantage.
>>84771008
hi cat, how's your day?

File: Dream.jpg (52 KB, 1062x597)

52 KB JPG

good afternoon/evening everyone !
went on a little walk today was nice went pretty late too (1 pm) since my parent weren't home. did wear a skirt and stuff so lot of people starring, also was raining so that was really nice <3

>>84767692
heya cat, see anything cool while you were out?

>>84769450
>. I was thrown in at the deep end by moving to another continent alone and it was very overwhelming
oh yea that sounds really hard, i wanted to do the same but im not nearly ready for anything like that i dont think lol. good you got it all figured out :)
>any questions about the practicalities I'm happy to answer them
okay i'll just say a few be happy to answer or not. how do you move out, like how does that work? and like how do you go to uni and stuff? how do you find a place to live and rent?

>>84771008
long ride then ^^

>>84771832
> The manager talked so fast, I never had a chance.
there really good at there job then haha
> auto rejected and a referral over turned that decision.
of that's weird then, sounds annyong to deal with

>>84771523
Thank you very much, I truly appreciate your kind words.. This thread is lowkey the best in the whole site

>>84762690
>hello
heya cat
how are you?
>How are you doing today?
it was a good day, but im overwhelmed currently cuz of something but im okay, just gonna sleep soon :)

(replying to previous replies later)

>>84771112
that's a good thing you did anon
i hope you never think of doing it again

File: Okabe-Rintarou-770x475-28(...).jpg (25 KB, 770x475)

25 KB JPG

I feel...dangerously dead inside. Like I can't bother to care about ANYTHING, I can't enjoy media, I don't care about my goals, I don't even care about other people...I don't know where this came from but it haunts me. It's been happening more and more frequently. I'm trying my best to fight it but I don't know what to do.

I'm tempted to really hurt myself if I keep feeling this way. This is no way to live life.

hello chat
bump
got an exam tomorrow, really stressed about it (and the rest of them)
ill try to talk tomorrow but i dont see it happening desu
stress is slightly too much this time around

>>84772200
Dont sweat it. There is an anon from northern Europe who really hopes and believes that you will make it through this. If my replies arent enough help then search for support lines in your country. We're all strong enough to make it through to the end. :)

hey everyone, had a good night again ig. was with some friends

>>84773283
heya Sisyphus. good luck on the exams, just try your best and don't stress too hard, you got this ^^

>>84773359
that does sound very nice and chill

File: 618c0b7eda34b184c7548bb5b(...).jpg (2.33 MB, 2480x3508)

2.33 MB JPG

I'll probably call it a night soon. Take care everyone!

>>84772002
>im not nearly ready for anything like that i dont think
To be honest I don't think I was either, but as long as it's a (relatively) developed place you'll adapt soon enough.
Humans like habits so it's easy to be scared when you're faced with new stuff, but equally it's very easy to form them so you can get back to normal.
>how do you move out, like how does that work?
It's a bit different because I moved countries, but I found a place to rent and packed most of my earthly possessions into two suitcases.
When I moved to a different city (same country) for university, my family just packed everything I was bringing over into some boxes and drove there over a few hours.
>how do you go to uni and stuff?
It'll depend on where you live, but I used to cycle everywhere but now I get the subway. For you it could be a matter of getting the bus or just getting an Uber in every day.
>how do you find a place to live and rent?
It's usually a matter of looking around different listings until you find somewhere that seems nice enough. It's definitely easier if you live in the area though so you can look at listings. If it's a big move, it might be a good idea to find a shoert-term rental.

>>84772475
>I don't know where this came from but it haunts me
Usually it's not one big thing, just lots of little things that wear you down.
I wish I had some good advice, but I hope things turn around for you and things snowball from there.

>>84773283
Best of luck with your exam!

>>84773879
Hello chev. Glad to hear you're doing alright.

File: hallow opossum.jpg (106 KB, 1242x1534)

106 KB JPG

>>84772002
>did wear a skirt and stuff so lot of people starring, also was raining so that was really nice <3
heh, my ex got me into kilts. It got stares but it also worked really well somedays.
>of that's weird then, sounds annyong to deal with
Yeah, it just makes me skeptical of them really.

hello everyone o/

not feeling the best today, but at least its storming here. that calms me down.

File: 5bac05d83ab8fd4fb8b3b493a(...).jpg (28 KB, 500x500)

28 KB JPG

I want to start posting in here, but I don't really know where to start or when it is chill to start using a name and such?

Curious if cutting helps y'all mentally? Short term? Long term? What's got y'all coming back? I'm very neurotic about a lot and get caught in thought spirals beyond reason. Snaps me back afterwards, and I appreciate them as a reminder of how far I've come. Ignoring the bodily abuse and empathy I feel for my cells that didn't deserve the untimely demise, I'd say it helps me mentally far more than it harms. I'd love to quit one day and be a bit less neurotic. Until then. It's nice to meet y'all, and I hope y'all are having and or have a good night! ^^

>>84774460
Hope the storm brings you peace along with some nice task be it self-care, a hobby, etc. I'm trying to dye my tips red to go with the black and it ain't goin too well xP

File: IMG_8727.png (1.84 MB, 1179x1618)

1.84 MB PNG

>>84774876
appreciate it <3 trying to take care of myself as best as i can :p

>I'm trying to dye my tips red to go with the black and it ain't goin too well
oo good luck with that! i died mine as well recently (picrel) and it turned out really nice

>>84774876
forgot to answer to this :p

>I want to start posting in here, but I don't really know where to start
well, the threaad opens daily with few questions that you can answer. kinda like a self reflect. n then u can just talk to us in here abt random stuff. thats what we do all the time!

>or when it is chill to start using a name and such
ive been active here for a week now, been lurking for a while tho. i chose a nick on my.. 2nd or 3rd day iirc. we just use it so we know whos who ofc. u dont need to have a name but if u wanna post more often it would be a good idea

>>84774939
>I died mine as well
Oooo it looks really nice! I like the way it's roughly the same... Hue? Saturation? Idk color theory well enough. I digress. It's pleasant and feels subtle while retaining the expression of color!
>trying to take care of myself as best as I can :p
Seems like you've got some good success! Dying hair is such a hassle, it makes other tasks feel so simple - and yet, I struggle? xP

>If u wanna most more often it would be a good idea
I definitely do...
Hope this is good ^-^

>>84775013
>Oooo it looks really nice!
tysm!!

>Idk color theory well enough.
neither do i, but i get what u mean TwT

>Seems like you've got some good success!
mmm kinda.. school stress is killing me but im trying my hardest to keep myself clam (servere chainsmoking >:3)

>and yet, I struggle?
thats normalll

>Hope this is good ^-^
yuh! glad ur here :3

>>84775064
>School stress is killing me
You also taking summer classes, or? Whatcha study? I'm in comp sci. Taking theoretical comp sci rn, then linear algebra next summer semester.

>Severe chain-smoking >:3
Hhhheard- I got back into vaping during FWA, and I have not been successful curbing this shit x.x

>>84775089
>You also taking summer classes, or?
dunno what its called in english but its like college. graduated from high school, taking 2 extra years in a new school now but dropping out in 6 months

>Whatcha study?
currently doing IT but it pissed me off xD like, i alr work in IT from home, n having to see how stupid my classmates are when it comes to that stuff annoys me for sum reason ^^'

>then linear algebra
nooo math qwq thats what im failing rn..

>and I have not been successful curbing this shit
yeaa its hard.. i started at 12 (way too early ik) n tried to quit like twice. ended up shaking and crying after a day without nic n my old mate had to bring me a pack of cigs cuz withdrawal was killing me. but desu, i dont think i will quit soon cuz i aint got shit to lose xD

goodnight everyone

>>84774180
goodnight
> but as long as it's a (relatively) developed place you'll adapt soon enough.
yeah that's the most impotent thing assume hehe
> habits so it's easy to be scared when you're faced with new stuff, but equally it's very easy to form them so you can get back to normal.
yea just getting into a routine and feeling a sense of normalcy i'd assume is the most important but also hardest thing by far
> place to rent and packed most of my earthly possessions into two suitcases.
that dosent sound too bad actually, sounds stressful tho
> my family just packed everything I was bringing over into some boxes and drove there over a few hours.
must have been a pretty eerie drive i'd imagine\
>used to cycle everywhere but now I get the subway.
oh that sounds nice just cycling everywhere, seems calming i'd think
> could be a matter of getting the bus or just getting an Uber in every day.
yeah, which would be fine i guess, as long as it's not too expensive i'd do anything.
> different listings until you find somewhere that seems nice enough
okay that sounds not too hard, how to you even find listings tho?

>>84774431
> It got stares but it also worked really well somedays.
yea it was nice, definitely works very well. and killts are super cool !
>Yeah, it just makes me skeptical of them really.
hopefully nothing but always smart to be carful and everything

>>84774876
> it is chill to start using a name and such?
it's fine whenever, the first day i posted i just chilled and talked, just do what you want and post whatever. just have fun ^^
> helps y'all mentally?
i would say it helps short-term somewhat, i think long-term i feel bad but also it kinda forced me too accept it, and stuff idk tho desu

>>84775205
gnight gator!!

>>84775115
>alr work in IT from home
Oooo? Home IT job? That sounds so nice...

>nooo math qwq thats what I'm failing rn..
My success is purely from bed-rotting and watching like a shit ton of explanation videos. (Not like I do much anyways most days including interests) I kind of don't pay attention in class, and doodle. Then go home and study when I feel the surge of guilt or deadlines. My method is to learn what I'm trying to do and why, not necessarily how to do it at the beginning of any lesson plan/for homework. Do the homework, ensure it's a 100ish. Then, goof off (do nothing), and see if I remember anything come next paranoia induced spell - clean up my mistakes and misconceptions - staying up all night if I have to.

Reteaching myself how to do stuff off intuition and vibes is awful mentally, but. It works for me TuT

Though, I've been pulling all nighters so long it's starting to be impossible to retain physical or mental fortitude... May need to adjust or drop out again (I refuse to entertain that idea. Otherwise I'll have to go back to working and doing far more day to day than I do now...) maybe if I drop unconscious they'll give me an extension :3c

>having to see how stupid my classmates are when it comes to that stuff annoys me for sum reason ^^'
No, I get that. Here I am doodling my nonsense not paying any attention and one kid keeps asking questions she definitely covered and I can answer... Or very obvious / intuitive concepts... It kind of hurts physically.

>i dont think i will quit soon cuz i aint got shit to lose xD
I tentatively feel you... I try and stay optimistic and cheerful around others, but I am. Deeply disassociated from joy.

>>84775205
Goodnight!!! About to go to bed, myself ^-^
Long-term being made to accept it really contextualizes a lot and makes me feel far more grounded in change, chronology, and such... Even if it kinda sucked the first time I had to truly sit with my past actions and digest them.

Getting asked "do you own a cat?" By someone snidely was a shock, but. Helped me realize I'm my biggest enemy since I really didn't give a shit xP

>>84775249
>My success is purely from bed-rotting and watching like a shit ton of explanation videos.
i wish that would work for me.. but like, i alr gave up, and trying to study again just shows me that its a waste of time cuz i will fail anyways. but eh, i dont care anymore. fuckass teacher sent me a message last evening saying she wants to talk to me tmr (prolly abt my math grades) but ill try to talk myself out of that.

>Though, I've been pulling all nighters so long
same here. i barely get sleep. for me, its day 3 of no sleep now. just cuz i want some free time for myself ig

>Here I am doodling my nonsense not paying any attention
real. i started bringing my sketchbook cuz class sucks ass.

>one kid keeps asking questions she definitely covered and I can answer
got someone like that in my class asw. he always goes like "if i understood this correctly.." and then starts to repeat everything the teacher said for the period. and his voice. gosh i could cry

>Deeply disassociated from joy.
real.

>>84775285
gud night!!

qui page 10 bump after my exam which fucking sucked but i think i could passnext time but fuck my life the stress from uni is heavy like a tombstone

decided to finally get treated for adhd
i dont much like the idea of having to see a psychiatrist and go through all the trouble of getting rediagnosed for it but oh well
>>84772002
>so lot of people starring
yeah people tend to do that, hope you had fun though
>>84772475
sort of feel you, its a shitty feeling but if youre like me something else is at fault and its just "coming out" in this way, all in all i hope youll be well and dont hurt yourself
>>84774460
favourite weather, both when inside and out (except when i have electronics on me lol)
>>84774876
>I don't really know where to start
talk to us !
hello anon
id say since you posted a picture of the pokemon whose name i cant for the life of me remember, something relating to it but i saw you beat me to it lol
>if cutting helps y'all mentally
it just helps me shut out the noise from everything and focus on not cutting too deep and being careful, the pain also is a reminder that im alive and not on just autopilot
theres many things to it desu, id assume different for everyone too

thank you 4chinz for thinking my post was spam, really nice of you

>>84774929
nice hair !
it did come out really nicely, i let my hair into a mullet which i really like, thinking of bleaching some spots like my friends did to me last summer, probably would bleach the back tips this time around, i dont want to fuck with my hair too much
>>84775013
>Hope this is good
hello luxr
that abbreviation makes me think of luxor, the ancient egyptian city lol
being a nerd is fun
>>84775064
>school stress is killing me
nice to see this is a continuous problem everywhere(got the same issue lol)>>84775089
>I'm in comp sc
same
theory sucks, i somehow managed to pass linear algebra with 5.5/10 im stuck with analysis 1 now(and a bunch of other courses) i wont be able to help you with linear algebra but i can definitely hear you out on it lol
>>84775249
seeing others strikingly similar experiences w/ the same stuff im struggling with is nice, knowing one isnt alone
unfortunate its happening obv but yeah

just came home from school...

>>84777623
>favourite weather, both when inside and out
for realllll its so nice qwq

>>84777626
>nice hair !
tysm!!

>i let my hair into a mullet which i really like, thinking of bleaching some spots like my friends did to me last summer
thats so cool!! bleaching is also really nice but id say let someone professional do it. i did it once n fucked up. then i had nasty yellow hair. ewww.. :s

>i dont want to fuck with my hair too much
desu, styling is more than enough anyways. dying is cool n all, yes, but it takes a shit ton of time, taking care of it is tough as well and it costs a lot if u dont do it urself

File: 4354435543.png (371 KB, 459x567)

371 KB PNG

Hi all, meant to post sooner, but I was out all day Sunday and I got 3 hours of sleep Sunday night into Monday so past 24 hours were a bit hazy. Hope everyone has been doing well.

Why do people cut themselves?
Am I retarded for never understanding it?
I remember asking a girl in school once and she gave me a look like I asked the dumbest question ever.

bump meewo

File: 1768125419516272.png (279 KB, 735x477)

279 KB PNG

been a while since ive been on this board. i kinda missed being able to talk freely about such things. i always feel guilty about talking about cutting with those close to me

im three weeks clean, going on four, but i miss it a low. how do you guys handle that feeling? im so tired of being lectured that it doesnt fix anything. i know it doesnt. i miss the comfort it gave me in the moment. how can i replace that?

File: -4904854812856790531_121.jpg (33 KB, 1027x535)

33 KB JPG

slept a bit
feel kind of guilty for not studying, fuck me
>>84778009
>i did it once n fucked up. then i had nasty yellow hair
how so?
they just did two random spots i agreed to for fun and i had a bit of highlights, came out rather nicely too
the colour is the natural one i suppose so
>styling is more than enough anyways
yeah
my style is "whatever i woke up like"
i like that the back of my hair kinda of curls in random directions so i just leave it be, theyre probably the part id dye or bleach
would probably be a one time thing, dying i mean

>>84778053
i hope you slept well

>>84779176
>how do you guys handle that feeling?
patience ig
i need to be really stressed to go back to it, such as now due to exams and honestly its really hard right now but all i can be is be patient and wait it out

File: 1767483881145898.png (390 KB, 749x764)

390 KB PNG

>>84780088
>patience ig
man..
maybe i should find something else to take comfort in during moments like that. running or cold shower maybe???? i really need my license so i can start going to the gym. maybe thatll help

File: -5355236787301243972_121.jpg (208 KB, 1280x919)

208 KB JPG

>>84780150
whatever will help you
im easily distracted so i try to focus on random things with the most common and effective being doomscrolling
though lately i find it way too boring to help very much
like a week ago i was really close to cutting which was when i started posting here again i think but it just so happened that i got in a deep conversation with a friend and focused on it enough to forget about cutting
this works for me
are you taking lessons for your license or are you thinking of getting one?

>>84778081
Mirrors my question, but generally I'd say it was a last resort and we're still here. Then the barrier was dropped so it becomes less shameful.

>>84779165
>I always feel guilty
Ditto. Sometimes... Depends on the person.
>How do you guys handle that feeling
I'm a very apathetic ADHD where nothing grabs attention at all. So I just forget it exists til I'm on the edge or can't break a cycle. I only occasionally yearn for it. To which, feels pointless when I'm *good enough* I don't need to. Then again I'm super lazy so it's an excuse not to do the said task.
>>84777623
>beat me to it
Hehehe I'm deeply obsessed with Luxray it's likely at the point of obsession.

File: 1753542261146669.jpg (9 KB, 225x225)

9 KB JPG

First day today without cutting since I got out of the ward 1 week ago

>>84780193
>I'm deeply obsessed with Luxray
as am i TwT

>>84780088
>how so?
too much bleach ig

>my style is "whatever i woke up like"
i wish i could do that xD i always gotta comb my hair like crazy for at least 20 mins until it looks okayish

>>84780184
>doomscrolling
i try to avoid doing that during the day. at night in bed is fair game though
>started posting here again
thats kinda where im at too. i used to browse here so much a few years back before i started cutting. i just really need healthier distractions i guess
>are you taking lessons for your license or are you thinking of getting one?
ive done the lessons already. i just need to get the driving practice done

>>84780211
good job ^^ keep it up

>>84780224
> As am i TwT
This board is big enough for the two of us <3
However, now I'm yearning to show you my life sized Luxray plush that keeps me company when I'm at my lowest and my collection. (!!!)

>>84780953
>now I'm yearning to show you my life sized Luxray plush
show!! :o

also did u forget to add ur name?

>>84780953
forgot to add, theres this pokemon web fangame that i always like to play during class. maybe u like it asw :3

https://pokerogue.net/

File: 926483916.jpg (1.74 MB, 3072x4080)

1.74 MB JPG

>>84780988
Here's Blueberry, the love of my life, firre of my loins. However that book I shouldn't have read in middle school went X_X jokes aside their size and weight are very calming and is one of my best self-harm reduction tools.

I already used to lay face down in the dark for hours doing nothing. Not even on my phone. Just trying to. Exist. Blueberry makes it 100x better, as even a partner unfortunately is still inherent observation, so sometimes it makes me worse.

I did forget to add my name ^^; woopsies
>>84781026
Woah!!! I have an old Gameboy rom flasher to make custom cartridges with pokemon emerald rogue, but this looks sick!!! I might just give it a try!

File: 1779914709496078.jpg (645 KB, 1920x1080)

645 KB JPG

>>84764912
>those are amaaaazing
true, i always have good time with those. though i have to say, i wasn't that into some of the sequels. i feel blasphemous 2 and silksong change to many things just to change them. at least i finished blaphemous 2.

>played a shit ton of RTS during homeschooling
it was the defining genre of my childhood. warcraft, starcraft, aoe, c&c. all the good stuff. didn't know you can homeschool in germany, though. how was it?

>company of heroes 2
i played one of those games. probably the first one. they just announced a remaster of that game.

>i play tournaments. same as for smash bros melee
that's impressive. i always wanted to be into fighting games, but turns out i just liked a few, very specific games and couldn't just hop from game to game. how are you doing in those tournaments?

>but didnt play it yet
don't. the game is fun, but it's the community in those that kills any enjoyment. i've dropped mobas a long time ago and i can't say it was the wrong decision.

>more of a league guy xD
there's a reason it's more popular than dota.

>>84765013
>i will, i will
i know i can count on you

>definatly can be weird working out on the weekend to me
yeah. it's good to have some days dedicated to recovery. physically and mentally.

>>84765980
>Love this photo.
same. i lost it in the big phone crash and wasn't able to find it again for the longest time. gladly some anon posted it on /a/

>>84769450
>it looks very expensive
i think it's starts around 150 dollars, but who knows what that will actually get you. these things tend to come with a lot of useless add-ons.

>I wouldn't get one if I had a full-size kitchen.
it does lot of things you usually need some special equipment for, which can be nice, i suppose. you're right, though. i can't see myself buying one, either.

>What else do you sell the man who has everything?
convenience. nothing sells more than convenience.

File: IMG_8762.jpg (308 KB, 3297x2009)

308 KB JPG

>>84781495
cute!!! glad its comforting for u. i really get that. heres mine, the good ol ikea shark when i was at my lowest. plushies are amazing.

>as even a partner unfortunately is still inherent observation, so sometimes it makes me worse.
totally get that. same for me sadly. back when i was still hooked on alc and drank myself to sleep, the shork gave made it feel like its someone real. made me feel worse but better at the same time, especially cuz i am helal touch starved.

>size and weight are very calming and is one of my best self-harm reduction tools.
thats good! its always nice to have something to distract urself with!

>I have an old Gameboy rom flasher to make custom cartridges
woahhh :o i only have a gba SP but never used it.. the ez flash omega is just way too expensive..

>>84781605
hi yuanon!!

>warcraft, starcraft, aoe, c&c
played all of them when i was a lil kid. my dad gave me his aoe2 and c&c red alert 2 disc back then. cracked the rest :p

>they just announced a remaster of that game.
WHAT. omg i gotta buy it. another reason to skip school for a week or two

>i always wanted to be into fighting games
theyre hard, especially competitive scenes. smash melee is the worst by far cuz it relies on frame perfect inputs most of the time. took me around 5-6 years to master the moveset and i still improve.

>how are you doing in those tournaments?
doin actually pretty good! i play zero techskill so the opponents are always confused cuz nobody does that in tournaments xD

>there's a reason it's more popular than dota.
at least dota players still try to win the match.. if u do one wrong move in league, theyre gonna flame you and afk / troll for the rest of the round..

>>84781653
>good ol ikea shark
I've made quite a few trans friends and still yet to see a shark irl. I swear these girls are holding out on me :/
>back when i was
Amazing news to hear you're not anymore ^-^ I've had people close to me who did that stuff and it sounds cyclical...
> i am helal touch starved.
I hope touch and such is healing. I bet it'll do wonders. I feel like I can never get enough and am still quite icky internally.
>the ez flash omega is just way too expensive..
I used a GBxCart and mother 3 bootlegs from China. Was about $50 in total and I've got like 10 custom roms? Not sure the cost now. Especially with trade relations. I stay ignorant nowadays.

>>84781816
>I've made quite a few trans friends
wish that would work for me xD i mean, im questioning asw (saying that on here feels so illegal), so trans friends would be a good way to like... feel a bit more normal and get advice but its whatever..

>I've had people close to me who did that stuff and it sounds cyclical...
it sure is.. even worse that i started that shit at what.. 14? 15? thank god im clean

>I hope touch and such is healing.
depends. for some it is, for some it isnt. for me, it will fix me 100% TwT

>I used a GBxCart
those work on a gba.. kinda wanna replay like pokemon emerald n shit so ill see what i can do :s

File: 1771535454377389.jpg (192 KB, 850x538)

192 KB JPG

>>84781653
hey yvki! (^-^)

>played all of them when i was a lil kid. my dad gave me his aoe2 and c&c red alert 2 disc back then.
good introduction to gaming. i still had to bother with floppy disks in the beginning...

>cracked the rest :p
fair. i want to say i did the same, but i don't think i pirated many games. if i didn't the only reason was that it was to lazy to do it. ^^'

>WHAT. omg i gotta buy it. another reason to skip school for a week or two
still pre-alpha, though. maybe you can plan a vacation around it the year it comes out.

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=tnVoeTSC4rU&pp=ygUkY29tcGFueSBvZiBoZXJvZXMgZGVmaW5pdGl2ZSBlZGl0aW9u

>theyre hard
that's not even it. all the popular ones just aren't fun for me. i don't get any enjoyment out of learning or executing the combos. i have more fun with games that focus less combos and more on positioning. maybe i'll try the new virtua fighter. always had a good time with 4.

>smash melee is the worst by far cuz it relies on frame perfect inputs
boggles the mind how someone at nintendo thought they should create a fighting game like that, but i suppose the insanely dedicated fanbase proved them right.

>took me around 5-6 years to master the moveset and i still improve.
case in point. you don't spend that much amount of time on something you don't like. but man, that's incredible. is there some coverage of your matches?

>i play zero techskill so the opponents are always confused cuz nobody does that in tournaments xD
valid strategy to do thing that flow below the current meta. won a lot of pvp-matches in dark souls with the flamberge. strictly worse than the claymore, but the different moveset just threw people off.

>if u do one wrong move in league, theyre gonna flame you and afk / troll for the rest of the round..
i had the same experience in dota, but i played dota before league was even a thing, so maybe those people just moved to league eventually and left dota to better players.

File: 1779834688266881.jpg (260 KB, 1920x1080)

260 KB JPG

>>84762690
>How are you doing today?
I feel nothing anymore from excess heroin usage.
>Any plans for today?
Shitposting until I have to pick up my wife.
>When was the last time you hurt yourself?
13 years ago.
>Why did you hurt yourself?
I got turned on by a random poster on /b/ posting borderline child pornography and had to punish myself for even feeling that way because nobody else would.
>Is there anything bothering you right now?
I cut myself so deep the scars haven't faded all these years later. Even tattooing over them didn't help. There is no covering my shame.

File: tsunderebitch.jpg (49 KB, 800x450)

49 KB JPG

sup guys, today was hell mentally i can't lie. luckily there are other ways to hurt myself outside of razorblades ig

File: 76c28de202728e92e8585f5c4(...).jpg (36 KB, 736x487)

36 KB JPG

>>84781938
hru yuanon?

>>84782105
>sup guys
heya chev
>today was hell mentally
:[
wanna say what happened?
>luckily there are other ways to hurt myself
funny how some ways can be much deadlier compared to mild cuts

File: Ból Fantomowy.png (630 KB, 560x420)

630 KB PNG

i wrote a reply last night but forgot to send it lol

>>84775220
thanks goodnight to yourself hope you had a good one

>>84775285
hope you slept well
yeah makes me think about it a lot more too and grounds me in reality and sucks thinking about stuff but will happen and makes me feel better about stuff even if only temporary.

yea some people really can be snarky sometimes, i used to give way to much of a shit to people but i tried to stop caring

>>84776736
sorry about that, exams are hell and cause wayy to much fucking stress

>>84777623
>hope you had fun though
i did, felt free for once, but also trapped lol. how are you doing?

>>84779176
>handle that feeling?
i kinda just ignore it which is really unhealthy, but i constantly have some music or some video playing just to dull my mind in a sense

>>84781605
>some days dedicated to recovery. physically and mentally.
yea it really is very important too

File: 3452342356.jpg (81 KB, 409x409)

81 KB JPG

fucking fag thread holy cannoli.

File: 983159ee34a1f9ee3dd67dc86(...).jpg (259 KB, 1636x2048)

259 KB JPG

>>84782010
>I feel nothing anymore from excess heroin usage.
how does that work?

>Shitposting until I have to pick up my wife.
as good a plan as any other. what is she up to?

>13 years ago.
that's a long time ago. well done, dude.

>had to punish myself for even feeling that way because nobody else would.
well, you went to /b/. that's usually punishment enough. you must have been in a weird headspace back then.

>I cut myself so deep the scars haven't faded all these years later. Even tattooing over them didn't help.
you must have gone pretty hard on yourself there. sorry to here it didn't work. what kind ot tattoo did you get?

>There is no covering my shame.
i'd argue most of us have shitty thoughts and impulses that don't mix well with the perfect version of ourselves we'd like to be. we need to be aware of our faults so we can keep them in check.

>>84782105
hey chev!

>today was hell
at least you made it through another day. \o/

>luckily there are other ways to hurt myself
what did you do?

>>84782186
hi rem! :D

>hru yuanon?
i'm good. don't feel as stressed as i usually do, just a lot calmer for some reason. gator and i did some exercises. those probably helped. now i'm just lying in bed. watching stuff, replying to people. the usual. how have you been?

>>84782245
speaking of. hi gator. :>

>i wrote a reply last night but forgot to send it lol
did you still have it?

>yea it really is very important too
and always a good excuse if you just can't be bothered :D

>>84782246
enjoy your stay

File: 1755058338404035.png (325 KB, 736x736)

325 KB PNG

>>84782245
>some music or some video playing
i use music a lot to distract myself too. my therapist has been helping me with grounding techniques but its just not enough sometimes

File: m9vehqxpkwd41.jpg (177 KB, 1181x1299)

177 KB JPG

>>84782186
hey rem, sup dude.
>wanna say what happened?
dunno, like everything lost meaning. must be withdrawals or something, although kinda suprising.
>funny how some ways can be much deadlier compared to mild cuts
that's very true hahaha, but i'll try to keep myself away from the really bad stuff if i can.

>>84782360
heya man
>what did you do?
mainly js alcohol and loud music for now, quite tame.

>>84782245
hey gator, hope you're holding up well

File: Diesel.(NIKKE).600.3872232.jpg (157 KB, 600x1071)

157 KB JPG

>>84780088
>i hope you slept well
thanks sisyphus, unfortunately I still need some more it seems because I have an awful awful headache that is making it impossible to focus

>>84781605
hey yuanon, hope you had a good day

>>84782105
hope things look up soon. hang in there

>>84782186
hi rm

>>84782245
hey gator
>i wrote a reply last night but forgot to send it
done that a couple times only to find the thread archived

File: __yua_serufu_and_hikage_t(...).jpg (365 KB, 1927x2056)

365 KB JPG

>>84782379
hi anon. i think you said earlier that it's been a while since you've been here. welcome back!

>>84782490
>mainly js alcohol and loud music for now
alright. maybe have a glas of water here and there and turn down the volume little bit. for you ears sake. (^-^;)

>>84782360
>how does that work?
Fries your brain receptors to the happy chemicals due to the excess and trains your brain not to make naturally occurring chemicals, also destroys white matter from overuse. Xanax also during this time did me no favors. I have not felt anxiety in several years, however. So maybe there's a positive.
>as good a plan as any other. what is she up to?
Wife's a suit. Big boy corporate job. I take care of our dogs and stay at home raking in VA benefits.
>well, you went to /b/. that's usually punishment enough. you must have been in a weird headspace back then.
My service to my country warped my perception of reality and sent me on some very dark paths.
>you must have gone pretty hard on yourself there. sorry to here it didn't work. what kind ot tattoo did you get?
I have Polynesian artwork all over me.
>i'd argue most of us have shitty thoughts and impulses that don't mix well with the perfect version of ourselves we'd like to be. we need to be aware of our faults so we can keep them in check.
You are right, anon.

>>84782010
>>84782597
Forgot to say, I hope you're all doing well, anons.

File: __yua_serufu_do_it_yourse(...).jpg (38 KB, 850x616)

38 KB JPG

>>84782547
>hope you had a good day
thanks, it's been alright. got new equipment at work yesterday. it improves on a lot of things, but i have to admit that relearning all the motions i got accustomed to over the years is harder than i had imagined. other than work, just did some bodyweight exercises. still having some slight back issues, so i'll try to do some lighter stuff for now. sorry about your headache, though. hope everything else is going well.

>>84782597
>Fries your brain receptors
is that permanent? i heard the brain can somewhat recover, but it can take quite some time.

>I have not felt anxiety in several years, however. So maybe there's a positive.
some people would probably prefer to be that way, that's for sure.

>Wife's a suit. Big boy corporate job.
must be doing a good job, then. hope it's nothing too stressful.

>I take care of our dogs and stay at home raking in VA benefits.
taking care of animals and a home is quite demanding. i can't deal with the responsibility of a pet right now.

>My service to my country warped my perception of reality and sent me on some very dark paths.
sorry to hear, but not a rare occurance in military service, it seems. how did it happen?

>I have Polynesian artwork all over me.
looks pretty cool from what i can see. did someone recommend it to you?

File: ICanBeTrustedWithAGun~3.jpg (3.11 MB, 3072x2933)

3.11 MB JPG

I don't know how I got here exactly, but I wanted to say hi to everybody. Thanks for answering my question n such. Y'all are pleasant.

File: __yua_serufu_suride_miku_(...).jpg (626 KB, 1170x1130)

626 KB JPG

>>84782822
hey luxr43! nice pic and weocome to the thread! :D are you still up there?

>>84782864
Yea... I hadn't really gotten out of bed or stayed on my feet longer than 2 minutes after getting home after class.

After my bid for connection failed, given my extraordinarily bad state of mind, I kinda - well. You get the idea. Feel kinda icky, I left without taking the laundry out of the washer. Seems we're gunna clean the bedroom when I get home to make up for it. I'm glad I can make up for it and they're not mad, just confused, but... Yeah...

Without a word, half in my own body, I ended up here. Now that I'm back I feel like I can't move again. It's pretty cool I suppose. I miss my vape (in the car). I also got myself a Dr pepper fountain drink and my screamo artist I like CDs arrived. Hope to get those signed as well one day...

File: 1776498580801915.png (368 KB, 736x736)

368 KB PNG

>>84782556
thank you yuanon ^^ i remember talking to you in the past. hope youve been well!

File: 3e3fadbcf9078778529aae9e2(...).jpg (2.03 MB, 1191x1684)

2.03 MB JPG

I'm simultaneously feeling motivated with work but also really off. My sleep has gotten very out of whack (and I'm getting quite bad headaches as a result) but it's showing signs of fixing itself.
In vidya news, I'm glad the Xenoblade games are getting Switch 2 patches. It's the main reason I got one, so I consider myself personally responsible for the announcement.
Sorry if I missed anyone, I'm a bit frazzled.

>>84775205
>i'd assume is the most important but also hardest thing by far
It wasn't too difficult for me. I was more or less comfortable a couple of weeks in. If you're not moving countries it'd probably happen even sooner.
>sounds stressful tho
Yeah. Part of what got me through it was just not thinking about it. The move kind of snuck up on me. Had I not done that I'd probably have been an anxious mess.
>must have been a pretty eerie drive i'd imagine
We went on some nice country roads so it wasn't too bad.
>oh that sounds nice just cycling everywhere
It was and I miss it a lot. I felt really free to just go anywhere.
>as long as it's not too expensive i'd do anything
Uber is pretty expensive, but to be honest so is driving...
>how to you even find listings tho
There are websites that aggregate most of them. That's what I used, at least.

>>84781605
>i think it's starts around 150 dollars
That's less than I thought. I think they try to rope you into buying meal kits from them but it seems like you can also just freestyle it.
Maybe when I'm a millionaire I'll get one.

>>84782791
>is that permanent? i heard the brain can somewhat recover, but it can take quite some time.
It takes a very long time in this scenario, apparently. Waiting for the day honestly.
>must be doing a good job, then. hope it's nothing too stressful.
She reasons that it's probably easier than what I used to do. She ultimately enjoys the stress.
>taking care of animals and a home is quite demanding. i can't deal with the responsibility of a pet right now.
Probably a benefit of my brain atm is that it doesn't faze me at all. Got 3 dogs and a decent size home. VA hooked us up with a good mortgage.
>sorry to hear, but not a rare occurance in military service, it seems. how did it happen?
I joined the marines and served for an extended time in Afghanistan and Iraq.
>looks pretty cool from what i can see. did someone recommend it to you?
My father, I am Polynesian, it's a cultural thing. Often, it's a rite of passage for men as they become adults as a mark of rank and family lineage. I received mine when I came back from my service and assumed being the head of my family.

>>84782360
>hi rem
heya!
>i'm good
glad to hear that firstly :>
>just a lot calmer for some reason
happens to me sometimes
are you enjoying being calm currently though?
>bed
>replying
replying in bed overwhelms me lol
i use my phone a lot of times to reply but the fact that i need to use the phone's keyboard and small screen to reply triggers me somehow
not used to it
>how have you been?
idk there isn't a single word for that in my mind currently but mostly i'm not feeling best
also gonna sleep soon
when will you sleep?

>>84782490
>sup dude
not much
you?
>like everything lost meaning
that's tough mate :/
did something happen or just bottled-up feelings went wrong?
>i'll try to keep myself away from the really bad stuff if i can
i hope you do keep yourself away from all the bad things, good luck!

>>84782547
>hi rm
heya officeanon
how are you?
did we talk last week? i'm not sure

>>84782556
ah well my ears are fucked, but i'll consider the water ehehe

>>84782822
heya, welcome. hope you're doing alright

>>84783075
>you?
just tryna stay sane for now
>did something happen or just bottled-up feelings went wrong?
probably a mix of both, just stuff that upsets me that i did in the past, but most of all stuff I saw back then and that those still exist today, it pisses me off how no progress ever gets made to solving anything at fucking all to make people a bit better in life. strange thing to rant about but it just confuses me.
>good luck!
thanks dude, i'll probably need it.

File: Screenshot (211).png (1.04 MB, 1366x768)

1.04 MB PNG

>>84782922
>I hadn't really gotten out of bed or stayed on my feet longer than 2 minutes after getting home after class.
class can be tiring. good thing you were able to motivate yourself to get up and out again. i always need some sort of excuse for that.

>After my bid for connection failed, given my extraordinarily bad state of mind, I kinda - well. You get the idea.
not completely, i have to admit. i just skipped through the thread, so i'm nit completely clued in. what happened?

>Without a word, half in my own body, I ended up here. Now that I'm back I feel like I can't move again.
i feel like bad thoughts, habits and behaviors can be tied to a place, so it makes sense to me.

>I also got myself a Dr pepper fountain drink and my screamo artist I like CDs arrived
sounds like a nice way to spend the evening. :>

>>84782943
>i remember talking to you in the past.
hope i left a good impression back then. (^-^)

>hope youve been well!
i don't think anything really changed. work can be rough and i didn't have the energy to participate in the thread much lately, but that's about it. what about you?

>>84783014
>it's showing signs of fixing itself.
it seems to do that. i don't think i've ever been able to force a change.

>I'm glad the Xenoblade games are getting Switch 2 patches
glad you got what you wished for. now let's hope it won't be a monkey's paw situation. fingers crossed.

>I think they try to rope you into buying meal kits from them but it seems like you can also just freestyle it.
that's probably the trick. reminds me of the 400 dollar juicer that you needed to buy these weird fruit packs for. turns out you could just squeeze the bags with your hands and got the same amount of juice, no appliance needed... i think they actually took the things back and gave a refund.

>Maybe when I'm a millionaire I'll get one.
i'd just get a chef at that point. :p

>>84782490
>dunno, like everything lost meaning. must be withdrawals or something, although kinda suprising.
Withdrawal is hard. Stay strong. Nobody can fight your battles for you, and every step you take towards its resolution creates a better you.

You are all very kind anons, it is surprising to find warmth on this site.

File: Screenshot (212).png (1005 KB, 1366x768)

1005 KB PNG

>>84783054
>It takes a very long time in this scenario, apparently. Waiting for the day honestly.
hope you can muster the patience. good luck, friend.

>She ultimately enjoys the stress
i don't think i'll ever get the corporate types, but it's good you two understand each other on that level.

>Probably a benefit of my brain atm is that it doesn't faze me at all. Got 3 dogs and a decent size home.
it probably wouldn't even if you were in more of a normal state. you seem like a guy who knows how to care for his dogs.

>I joined the marines and served for an extended time in Afghanistan and Iraq.
can't even begin to comprehend how it must have been.

>it's a cultural thing
ah, so there's a bit more meaning behind it. lot's of people just go "looks cool" and get stuff like that done. are there tattoo artist that specialize in those? and how do you choose the forms and patterns?

>>84783075
>are you enjoying being calm currently though?
yeah, but i need to catch some sleep. it's getting really late.

>not used to it
i actually only had phone and a ps4 when i started posting, so not much of a choice here, but i got used to it. no reason to force yourself if you don't like it, though.

>gonna sleep soon when will you sleep?
i'm going to bed now, too. good night and sleep tight. hope you feel better when you get up.

good night, everyone.

>>84783266
>are there tattoo artist that specialize in those? and how do you choose the forms and patterns?
I travelled back to Polynesia and received them from a family member who carries on our tradition. It's meaning will be passed down to my children, and to whomever assumes head of my family next.
Thanks for the conversation, friend, it is time for me to go too. I hope you sleep well.

File: 81737482727.jpg (1.54 MB, 3072x4080)

1.54 MB JPG

>>84783109
Hiya, yes. I'm doing alright-ish. Thank you for the warm welcome. Y'all are nice here. This board feels comfortable. I like not feeling like I'm a burden for expressing and sharing thoughts, or creating like. Social... Stuff. Friends like to blame my boyfriend a lot for not taking care of me, but they really underestimate how insufferable I can be.
>just tryna stay sane for now
Hehe felt. I don't feel nice reading other's conversations, so. Feel free to share in return :3
>>84783136
>i just skipped through the thread, so i'm nit completely clued in. what happened?
Oh. Yeah. I can't really get myself to read anything without (you) in it.
Also, uh. I didn't really talk about this anyhow. I was being vague about current events. Im in one of those void-ruts where your physical senses also feel engulfed. I kinda tried to ask to watch TV or something simple with my partner since I've been feeling so bad and started to cry a little uncontrollably, but stifled after they said if they feel like it and can't really provide me much. So my pants' insides are stained and I drove to my favorite outlook and went on a walk to my favorite tree. Too many people around to feel comfortable sitting and chilling. For the better I suppose.
>Now that I'm back
Meant like. I'm back in my body. I finally got home just now. Sitting in my car rn.
>Sounds like a nice way of spending the evening
My cd system isn't set up yet, moving has been a slow process... Even if it was. Hhhh...

Think I'm gonna go gulp down the remaining red wine that's technically not mine and try to go clean like I said I would to make up for making them finish the laundry. I'll buy them another bottle if need be, there's a blood donation for 70 in 2 days.

File: IMG_7584.gif (443 KB, 500x500)

443 KB GIF

>>84783266
Goodnight!!! Thanks for chatting with me, it was nice to meet yu..anon... Heh hehehe

sorry for the late replies

>>84783143
>every step you take towards its resolution creates a better you.
I know and that's why I wanna quit, but it's hard man. some days you just wonder why you'd even quit. luckily just watching youtube did some good
>it is surprising to find warmth on this site.
it is quite strange, but it's just how open ended it can be. like you can be a dick to people, but you can also be nice. both bring you nothing in the end, but it's whatever you prefer.


>>84783327
>I like not feeling like I'm a burden for expressing and sharing thoughts
nor should you, it's always great to hear from everyone here, you included :>
>but they really underestimate how insufferable I can be.
well everyone has those days, make sure you take care of yourself even then tho
>Feel free to share in return :3
nah it's fine lol, i don't either usually. doing a bit better now, i think. had to turn off my youtube tho, it kept recommending me some pretty fucked up things, or well not the videos but the topics being discussed yk