Seriously though, how do I stop being submissive and get rid of the femdom/mommy fetish? It has been probably the biggest stressor in my life. Trying to date "dominant" women is miserable because literally all of them are just looking for someone to give them money, or want an open relationship (so they can fuck dominant men), or both and don't actually care about submissive men at all, it was just so disheartening and hurtful trying to find an actual dominant woman when I was looking, I really don't think true ones exist anymore. And obviously trying to date submissive women is miserable, I can only keep the act of being dominant up so long before it just breaks me. I refuse to believe there is not a way to rewire your sexuality. I just want to be normal.
>>84784070>how do I stop being submissive and get rid of the femdom/mommy fetish?you find a good sub that really wants to be spanked, like to the point of bleeding
>>84784070I had a true one, and the relationship went super sour because the lifestyle didn't fit our personality and we started kinda hating each other due to communication issues in general. Now I'm broken because I know I will never find a woman like her, as "other fish in the sea" doesn't apply in this case. They're insanely rare. Now I'm a femdomcel. I can't date a woman who isn't like that, and finding another one is unlikely, to say the least. And yeah, submissive women make me feel asexual. I don't understand them.
>>84784291>and the relationship went super sour because the lifestyle didn't fit our personality and we started kinda hating each other due to communication issues in general.What'd you mean?
>>84784070Stop watching femdom porn
>>84784299She's very secretive, direct, prefers less words, distrusts arguments. I'm a a fucking bilingual thanks to the fifteen years of online shitposting. I was almost primed to challenge her opinions for sport, she felt questioned and threatened in her authority. I was just trying to help.Errors and misunderstandings (some of them autistic as fuck on my part) led to bitterness. She saw things coming and broke up with me, rightly so.
>>84784092This is good advice. I was into femdom too until I started a thing with a really kinky submissive non binary girl. Once you start dominating a woman you stop wanting them to dominate you.
>>84784315Worked opposite for me. I had a girl who was incredibly submissive and one day playfully pushed back and then I started to crumble and now I want women to dom me.
>trying to date submissive women is miserable, I can only keep the act of being dominant up so long before it just breaks me.Me as well, I want to be nurtured by a woman, but if you don't act dom they will leave you and find someone else who does. Also the vast majority of these women who are "into" submissive men are lying out of their ass.
>>84784070solution?>enjoy what you can from them until you no longer are satisfied with the dynamic>ultimatum them, if they care they will at least be willing to play switch for you>if not, leave.>rinse and repeatmake sense, retard-kun?
>>84784304I don't watch any femdom porn. I'll listen to those Mommy ASMR audios sometimes when I'm feeling very lonely and can't sleep.
>>84784352It's the same thing, just manifested differently. Desire for an active female figure who desires you openly. Just with sadism included sometimes.
Meh, for me it's either celibacy or mommy gf. I already accepted that. No way I would date a normie girl, like other anons said, they make me feel asexual. Attraction only happens when I see the woman as my mother. I've been alone for several years and it's been fine. Had some opportunities to date, but they were normie women, so meh whatever.
>>84784070>And obviously trying to date submissive women is miserable, I can only keep the act of being dominant up so long before it just breaks me.I couldn't even put up an act if I tried. Years of poor treatment from my mother have left me desperate for some kind of nuturing relationship where I can be submissive without judgement. I doubt I'd find such a thing, however.
Mommy fetish is the best thing ever, but real women don't really like it IRL unless they're really fucked up, and they're still Chad only. Your options are to jerk off to fantasy because it's just not gonna happen irl. That's it. Girls typically want to be slapped a little and choked and hammered to soreness.
I wish I was born with chad model tier genetics so that women would be coming to me to fulfill my sub sexuality. I'm not sexy enough for a woman to do that for me.
>>84784070The girl im with now is adament and encouraging and having me accept my sexuality with her
>>84784643How long have you been together? Is she dominant? How'd you meet her? Are you confident that she won't lose attraction and get sick of you showing your submissive side? Important questions.
>>84784643I wish I had that so much
>>84784070Idk, jerk off to porn where the woman is the sub ig Or go to therapy to fix your mommy issues/insecurity
>thread of robots having the exact same struggles that I haveim home.>>84784445>>84784554so painfully true when I first got into this I thought my physique was perfect I assumed women who like submissive men also like short and not masculine men but then I find femdom personals subreddits and majority of F posters say their requirements are literally chad and that you have to have a stable life
I had one gf do dominant things to me and I feel like it made her lose respect to me somehow.Now I'm just dominant with women, which often means they do jack shit and I am in charge of anything sexual. It is boring as fuck.I'd be fine mixing things up a little, passionate sex, dominant sex, submissive sex, kinky whatever sex, nurturing "good boy/girl" sex, but no. It's mainly "do what you want with me ahah" and that is fucking it with most of the women I've been involved.
>>84784070>get in a bad relationship>never want to take any shit from women ever again afterwards
>>84784330Not the case with mine sooooo
>>84784650I'm not giving you anything for time spreadsheet. It is 100% she lives being done. Today she talked with me that she wants me to stop acting dom completely ever only be submissive from now on
She loves being in complete control and making choices for me, about us, take care of me to the extreme extent. She told me she had never felt so attracted to anyone like she is too me in her entire life. I also made her cum so hard her pussy hurt tonight.
>>84785241>>84785207Where did you meet her? How long have you been together for?
>>84784070I am a woman who is into femdom and gentle femdom, how do I find a sub?
>>84785468>how do I find a sub?I'm right here
>>84784070Isn't everyone naturally a switch? Doesn't make sense to be one or the other
Experience it, and then realise it's not everything you hyped it up to be in your head and move on. I've had a couple of Dom gf's (including one currently that I'm trying to get rid of). Turns out all women into it are at least somewhat a problem and after a while it becomes more boring than you think and you crave having a normal girl you can start to built an actual life with. For most of them the mental defects that make them actual doms come with far more downsides that you'd want near you.
>>84785118That does happen, if a woman sees you being weak they will lose all respect and feelings for you.
>>84785637Demoralization campaign. It's only been good with me girl
>>84784748>therapyA waste of time and money.
>>84784070I mean everyone has different priorities, but I think the key is to accept that a relationship dynamic driven by a fetish is bound to be unhealthy. The relationship should be built around you two as people, and sex (especially a pre-conceived fetish dynamic) can't dictate most of it. It can and should be a non-negligible part of it, but it should leave space for the rest. That's why you start by building a healthy relationship with a person you trust and who's open minded and adventurous. You should also accept that, if she's a reasonable person, you'll hardly ever get a full on femdom lifestyle relationship from her. BUT if she's open minded, she'll probably be happy to explore it with you as a part of your sexual dynamic.
>>84785468Like most things in life, it comes down to luck>>84785526Anon, I...>>84786039Probably, but you never know, anon could get lucky
>>84785468I am a man who is into gentle femdom, how do i find women like you?
>>84785470Hi anon.>>84786857I'm a shut-in so I'm not the best person to ask, unfortunately. Also you absolutely wouldn't guess I'm into it if you met me.
>>84784070This is like a woman saying they have a fetish for tall handsome rich men. It's just boring. It's not even a fetish It's just like saying "I would love having a million dollars!" Wow so unique that you want someone else to take the lead and take all stress away from sex so you can just sit there and not have to perform. I dunno i guess the cure is experience because I used to like the idea of this when I was a virgin and now it makes me cringe. I think in general "submissive" people are just selfish and boring and want to starfish in bed like "teehee I'm so submissive do whatever you want with me!" But in practice they just want to not have to make any moves or do anything themselves and make you do all the work. Boring.
>>84786909Wow you have no idea what the spectrum of being dom, sub is like. You just assume the worst and throw a fit because others don't fit in your autistic check box.
>>84786979I would bet my life savings I have more sexual experience with you on both sides of the spectrum and if you think my post was "a fit" then I don't know what to tell you.
>>84786874What kind of a personality would you like your partner to have? I feel like women into gentle femdom tend to either prefer more "boyish" partners or normal men that act soft just for them, in private.
>>84787133I prefer normal men who are soft just for me, yeah. I like the contrast. I should mention that I'm more of a switch than a strict domme. I want to call someone daddy and be called mommy.
>>84787159I see, I am sure you will find someone like that! Check out the "gentle femdom" thread on soc, if you dare ;o! I definitely prefer acting more boyish than anything. Unfortunately I am probably already at the age where it's going to be nigh impossible to find such a dynamic.
>>84785939Wait until she cucks you for someone that she considers manly
>>84785939You still won't answer any questions about how you met or anything else. Perhaps she does not exist at all, friend?
>>84786089Most level-headed take ITT. What are you even doing on /r9k/?
>>84785468you post in fetlife and look for anyone who puts in some effort, meaning, you'll be weeding out dozens of losers. Or sheer luck
>>84786874im a shut in as well, maybe we can give each other a shot?
